Merry Christmas World + Happy Holidays

I am preparing for Christmas so I probably won't talk to you until after the holidays. I want to return, time permitting, to continue with my tour of the Middle East, Theology notes and I also owe you much from all the conferences I attended. I should be able to mail my books to you from most places in the world. Even though I don't agree with everyone's politics, I like to treat everyone equally myself. There is much suffering in the world today and much is uncertain, but I wish to extend my best wishes to everyone and the safe return of the Israeli people who were taken. My Christmas wish this year is that we be able to live in peace with each other and to learn to love each other. Our time on earth is so limited and we can do so much to help each other by being kinder and more accepting of our differences. God bless.

For Love of Country Military Policewoman (The Middle East) saga continues Buy at Amazon or silvaredigonda.ca (ebook available)

Our time for shopping was limited. Our tour guide charged us extra for taking us to a shopping area of his choice. He directed us to particular shops and it was obvious that he was getting paid by the shopkeepers, as well as the excursion. He also wanted all funds in American dollars. It cost us $5 each to go for a meal at a hotel of his choice. There were cats and dogs everywhere. I saw one cat jump on one of the restaurant tables, snatch a piece of chicken and run away without the couple at the table noticing. After that trip I suffered from diarrhea for ten days straight. My next tour was Tel Aviv. It wasn’t really a tour but a work weekend. Four of us booked into the Diplomat hotel. Suffice it to say I had the evening off (unofficially) to go to the Disco Coliseum, only to leave due to cramps. It must have been something I ate at the Plaza. There is something I didn’t like about Tel Aviv. It was not my first time there. When I first arrived I had a day off and went with some people who had to go to the Canadian Embassy. The driver, nicknamed “Cap”, and I roamed the city while the others conducted their business. The walk along the beach was fine. We walked through a prostitute area and then a market area. Soldiers and civilians blended as one. Their women and men have to serve in the military. These soldiers are walking around with rifles or sitting with their rifles loosely held. One man was sitting and watching me. He was tossing his rifle back and forth, his finger in the barrel. I was hoping he would not drop it in my direction. I have never seen a group of soldiers so careless with the handling of personal weapons. As the men stare at you and face you, so does the barrel of their weapons. My mind returned to a tour in Italy. There was a soldier aiming his machine gun right into my stomach when I approached him. I carefully spoke to him, while using my finger to move the barrel, which leaned against my stomach, away from me while quietly telling him I would be doing so. People in the market stank. Perhaps it was the various foods or perhaps the dust and surrounding trash that smelled. Perhaps it was a combination of it all. After two months in the Sinai, my room remained dusty and sandy regardless of how well I cleaned it. After a while I did not taste the sand in my mouth anymore. A few of our people suffered from lung infections or bronchitis. I did not have any problems except for diarrhea. I could swear that in two months in the Middle East, I had more diarrhea than I would have in my entire lifetime! They called it “gypo gut.” I had already travelled to Cairo, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and St Catherines. I found myself listening to everyone’s problems. Even an American came to talk to me because there was no one else. He told me that all they had were counsellors with two years of college training to help with specific problems. I cannot recall if it was drug use and alcohol abuse. He also told me that everyone knew everyone’s business at the hospital. So I heard him and others with all they had to tell, of their personal problems, their fears and their regrets. I kept it all inside me. It is a gift when someone trusts you with so much. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” For your copy you may buy a book from Amazon or silvaredigonda.ca (e book available on website. If any problem occurs please let me know.

SCAM ALERT

Mrs. Jenna Perri My Dear, I am writing to inform you of the situation concerning your overdue payment that has stayed here for so long. I am here to make sure you get back this awaited payment into your account. I overhead the new director collaborating with other commercial bank officials to divert some overdue funds that have stayed here for a lengthy account period into their private Swiss account. And I believe yours is inclusive. If I can not handle this to the best of my knowledge. I would not have contacted you. I am aware you have spent a lot of money to secure back this fund into your account or have it delivered to you; but they kept requesting for more funds from you thereby depriving you the capacity to get along with them. At this moment, I want you to work with me and make our communications confidential. It will benefit you more if you suspend any form of communication with anyone at the moment until I get back these funds into your account.. I have assisted a certain man from North Carolina USA and it worked out. All you need to do is follow my advice and allow me to handle the rest from here. Get back to me immediately to enable me handle your file of payment in your best interest. Sincerely, Mrs. Jenna Perri, Financial Systems Stability Directorate.

Good Morning World and Merry Christmas; Happy Holidays and a bit of me.

I have finished my Christmas shopping but am now shopping for me. I am all good. Yesterday I was running errands all day buying the last minute few things. I went to Walmart to buy skin cream I like and it was locked up. I also had to buy lipstick I can only find there and guess what? It was locked up. Apparently people are stealing all the stuff so it is now locked up. I have always had sympathy when people steal food, but not for cosmetics. We all suffer when people steal, because the prices just go up and that is not necessary during these times. What I noticed as I was wishing everyone a Merry Christmas adding on Happy Holidays for those who don't celebrate Christmas is I was getting a great smile. Their faces actually lit up and I am sure it was not only my beauty. I suppose they are not hearing "Merry Christmas" too often. So, try it, if you like and see if you get those great smiles. With gift giving this year don't forget your mailman and garbage collectors. When I gave my garbage men their small gifts, they told me they really appreciate it. I always get a big thank you from my postman who has been AWOL. I miss him and hope he is ok. We have been having some problems in Toronto and Canada with some hatred and a youth was arrested in Ottawa, because extremists on the internet got him interested to make bombs or such with the objective to cause harm to the Jewish community. His father claimed his son is naive and that is why he was radicalized however, our News reporters looked up Daddy's Facebook page and you guessed it, he was bashing Jews. Of course now daddy says his lawyer has advised him to keep his trap shut and his face book page is gone--poof---.(This is alleged of course) Listen people out there. These people who try to get you to do terrible things do not care about you. Their specialty is hate in the crudest terms. Talk to your parents if you can. Please report them to the Police. If you are feeling lonely and scared talk to your guidance teacher, school psychologist or your clergy. And clergy, since we are on the topic......You need to speak up against hatred. You know that all this stuff that is going on in the world is wrong. Let me tell you a story, since it is Christmas and I am missing many of my friends. Let me tell you about Ovey. Ovey was born Muslim and he was raised by a Muslim woman, single mother. Ovey became a Catholic Priest. Ovey also became my favourite Professor. Ovey loved the Muslim community. Each year the Muslim community would send him a reminder that he had to donate a percentage (if memory serves me right, it was 10%) to charity. They had assumed he was Muslim because of his last name. He described the differences between the two designations of the Muslim Religion and of course he got me to ask questions for those who may not have walked the path of Mohammed. Of course, I could ask all the questions. That is what students do. Then I would have people coming to explain things and of course I would throw in what I learned and was accurate here and there. After I graduated we became friends and often went out to dinner. He told me that during one Christmas (I think it was Christmas. I can't remember what country but I am sure I have already talked about it somewhere)Christians beat up a Catholic Priest. A Muslim man found him badly beaten and brought him home and took care of him, bringing him back to health. True Story. His love for the Muslim people resonated with me as us all being one people. People who are causing harm don't even know what their religion teaches and it is up to the Religious leaders to speak up especially to the young people to let them know right from wrong when youths are lead astray. Yesterday was surprising to me as I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays because I was surprising people pleasantly and that made me wonder. This Christmas I understand that many will not have money for presents, but you can make something. You can write a poem for someone, telling them how important they are to you. You can draw a picture and say how they are presented in the drawing. You can make a craft....I remember as a child our teacher giving us paper so we could make a card and stick in paper where we cut slits to say what chores they would get from us as gifts (I don't think I ever did to the chores, but I made them happy with the thougt). Most of all this Christmas, be kind. Christmas can be very difficult for many. This is a time to reach out and if you can, give something. Even if it is a cookie. Wrap it up in saran wrap and tie a ribbon. It doesn't have to be much to make someone's day. Merry Christmas. It is never to late to make changes in your life. It is never too late to choose love. What do you think?

Another Scam Alert: Really? Don't fall for this nonsense - It get's old really fast. As promised I am posting the stuff so you don't get scammed.

email from auto@pakexchangeltd.com. Executive Director, Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI. Washington, D.C. 601,4th Street, Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001, USA. Dear Beneficiary, We want to notify you that the FBI Washington DC in conjunction with other relevant agencies here in the United STATES of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have an over-due payment in tone of ten million, three hundred thousand US dollars (USD10.3Million) in Federal reserve bank. This was as a result of cash disbursed by the United Nations as a form of an inheritance fund which only few lucky people would benefit from this exercise. We have done a random email selection and you happen to be among the lucky individuals to benefit from the exercise this year. Right now stop any transaction you have with any Organization/ Person telling you your funds are with them. You are advised to contact the Federal Reserve bank immediately so they would begin with the process. You are to contact Mr. Jerome H. Powell who happens to be a member of the federal reserve board via the email address below. E-mail: jeromehpowell.reservebank@usa.com website: www.federalreserve.gov Contact the bank today and furnish them with these information below: FULL NAME: CURRENT ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP CODE: DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER: Thanks

Scam Alert - Don't fall for it people

"I am a private investigator and have been contracted by a financial institution to ascertain your relationship to an individual who died sometime ago. He died intestate and left behind an estate, we have reasons to believe that you may be related to the deceased. For further information, please contact me or the Assessor for confirmation. Yours Sincerely, Victor Chenello" "This message is from Victor Chenello secured server a...." This does get tiresome but some people always seem to respond and believe. Don't fall for it. Twice I already received emails reported to be from the FBI to tell me how much money I am about to receive. Really the FBI? How rediculous. I tried to forward it unsuccessfully to the FBI. I don't think they like to be impersonated. I shall start pasting them again, if only that someone out there doesn't hope it is true. Believe me, it isn't. Have a good weekend.

For Love of Country Military Policewoman (my saga continues) For your own signed copy see Amazon or silvaredigonda.ca

My first trip was to Cairo with the Canadian contingent. What an experience. We were crammed in a minibus and then in a taxi. The drive was long and exhausting. A weekend is not sufficient to see Cairo. But that was all we had. The trip was hurried and not organized. My first impression of Cairo was that it resembled Toronto, after a nuclear war. I only got to see the exterior of the pyramids. In my opinion, they were overrated. I didn’t find them impossible to make. I thought of all the tales such as those connecting UFOs to the pyramids and found them ridiculous. We continued to tour a museum without a guide. I was pleased to see King Tut, as I had missed him when he was in Toronto. The museum was breathtaking. There was so much to see, to know, so much history and I missed not having a guide to explain what we were seeing. The main hall overwhelmed me. Massive figures of Kings and their Queens stood side by side. I could feel them, their greatness. How proud a nation! What happened? I cannot help feeling sadness for these great cultures that had disappeared with time. How is it possible for a people to take a step backwards? I found the Egyptians I encountered simple-minded. At least they appeared to me at the time, where I was stationed. The people I came into contact with were the Bedouins. The men were thin and dark-skinned and appeared lazy. I also found them unattractive to women and that is putting it mildly. The women kept their faces covered and were not treated equally to men. They did the chores and any hard work. Mind you, this is what I was told. I myself had never seen anyone, regardless of sex, do too much work since I’d been there. The women, too, were slim and rather short--about five feet. It was difficult to assess their beauty since they were covered from head to foot. I’d spotted them occasionally removing their veils to show their faces to our men while on patrol. Obviously these women were not as timid as they appeared to be. I had the opportunity to meet them on occasion while on patrol and the reaction was consistent. They seemed surprised and happy as they examined me. Though communication was not possible due to our language barriers, expressions are universal. These women embraced their lifestyle and had no animosity towards mine. On the contrary they appeared impressed. I hope there comes a time when humanity can unite in equality and mutual respect. What happened to these women? How can they once sit proud, next to their men, intelligence filling their faces, full of character? How could it come to this? I obviously had to read much more about these people. I was more familiar with the history of these people than the present. A pamphlet I had read about the Bedouins describes them as indigenous inhabitants of Sinai. There are more than 10,000 divided in several tribes. We boarded a night cruise in Cairo and heard and enjoyed a combination of English, French and Spanish lyrics. We had a belly dancer entertaining us as well. It was an evening of romance, mystery and intrigue. The following day we toured an Orthodox Church. Men and women prayed separately in different parts of the church.

Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” www.silvaredigonda.ca + Amazon

I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!Word on the Street

I am so glad to tell you that my application to sell my books at Word on The Street, in Toronto has been accepted. I have paid in full and am all ready. It is so appropriate, as I read my final draft. Next year the event will be held 28/29 Sept 24. So save the date. I will be in a dedicated space for Independent Authors at the festival. This is all so exciting. If you want a copy once my books are in, please let me know in advance. Also, if you have a show you wish me to attend, I am all in. I am also willing to share space with Artists. I am so motivated. Bye for now.

Fees are increasing to $160.00 per 50 minutes in January 2024

I have just completed (I hope) my assessment for the College and have updated my web site and Psychology Today for my practice. Now, I can get back to my final reading of my much anticipated book "Ominous". This shall now be my priority. I shall read it aloud so I can catch anything amiss. Have I told you I love this book? So, if you would like to invite me for a reading or to your bookstore, community centre, Senior home, book club, cafe etc......You know, even if you are an organizer where people cannot afford to buy books, I will come anyway to talk about either my practice, therapy or books. I now also have a functional car (which I actually have to bring in for a check up) so I am not restricted to Toronto. I do appreciate parking. I am very open to everyone. Hey Guy Buy Me is not for youth. I do not allow youth to open the book. However, the rest have no cartoons and it is quite safe though more suited to adults. It is amazing how much I have accomplished as well as having my pound of fun. Keep safe.

PTSD - As promised

The Concept of Post-Traumatic Stress: The Past, The Present, The Future from EHN Canada on Vimeo.

Bringing you up to date

Do you notice how I am always busy and then kind of catch up and then it is pulling my hair out time (I don't actually do that). But hold and behold I do have balance. I go to the gym (I won't tell you how often). I have begun to eat healthier. I figured it was time and so did my physician. He is quite patient. I received my draft Ominous once again and my publisher wants me to read it once more since she made a few minor changes. She swore it was the last time after I told her I was really swamped with work. What happened is I got an email from my college and it is time for me to supply them with a bunch of information. Our college seems to be a lot harder on us than the others. Every so many years we have to fill in paperwork, do an assessment, produce or be ready to produce our hours etc.....This year we need to be up to date about reporting of child abuse. I am up to date. However, I want to read everything they provided once again and anything else I need to read up on. My deadline to do it all is the end of December which is annoying but I understand. This is the month I paid for all my associations for the new year and I am going to pay the college soon and the college is big bucks. Each year I ponder if I should retire and then once again I pay it all, prepare everything I need and I continue. I have been working since I was 13 years old (part time of course at 13) so I guess I am used to it. I like challenges and boy do I get them. So, I guess I continue helping people which is very rewarding. So, that will keep me busy. Now, I also got involved with a lot of fun activities and so I am obligated to go and have fun. I have done most of my Christmas shopping and am giving them out. I don't want to miss anyone. I still have to go to Costco, but I love shopping at craft events and support the small businesses. Ominous should be coming out late January or February. This book is dedicated to my sister and in memory of Holy Terror. Holy Terror is in my book once again and she died while I was working on the book. She broke my heart to pieces. Mr Attitude has bandaged my heart back. Most of the scars are healed. I even supply a teaser of the next book. I do really want to be more focused this year on selling my books so if you have a book club, or know of a craft event where I can go please let me know. I always enjoy meeting people. If you want me to save you a book, let me know. The price will be more expensive this year. I would say about 25.00 because my publisher uses paper which is superb. Keep in mind that the book is worth it because I wrote it and only me. I do not use IA, nada, not only to write but to think with. I think all on my own. Thank you. I get my ideas from everyday life and experiences. Something I see or hear may just stimulate the brain. Nothing artificial. So there. That should be worth the money. It is 100% human. So that is all for now. Take care.

For Love of Country: Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

At first, I normally patrolled with Luke. He had blond hair and blue eyes and I found him absolutely beautiful. We got along well and I enjoyed being in his company, on or off duty. It would not be long before I was approached by another Dutch policeman who informed me Luke was engaged to be married and that he was hands off. I was surprised. We had never done anything inappropriate. Neither did he tell me he was engaged. I was attracted to Luke; he softened me. When he left the Sinai and I saw him and his team off, he had tears in his eyes as he said goodbye to me. He could barely look at me. I hope that whoever that woman was that he was engaged to would be good to him. Given other circumstances I knew that we could have been happy together, but I would never dream of leaving my country.

Our Canadian Colonel was always a gentleman, not at all like someone under his command. The Colonel commented quite casually to me one day that I would not be happy in Holland if I was to marry a Dutchman. I was surprised that he thought I was thinking of marrying period, or even considering leaving the military. I assured him that it would not happen. I don’t think he quite believed it because he continued that he was of Dutch descent and knew the differences between the cultures. One of our Canadian women did get engaged to one of the Dutch support soldiers. He left the forces to marry her and she subsequently changed her mind. I felt sorry for him giving up his career. I was in our bar when one of the Canadian soldiers approached me and said he wanted to introduce me to someone. He gave me an invitation card to attend some Officers’ Ball. I reminded him that I was not an officer and he knew I could not attend the ball. I also told him I was not interested in the man he was pointing me to. He pleaded that I at least talk to him. I couldn’t believe it, but I obliged him because I was feeling sorry for him. I sat with the officer who could barely speak English. He was from one of the South American countries. He was also very handsome, but that was not rarity for me. I explained tactfully that in the Canadian military, officers and non-commissioned were not allowed to fraternize. He said he did not care and of course I said otherwise. I thanked him again politely and returned to the Canadian soldier. “Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again,” I warned him. The soldier went to the officer and they both seemed deep in conversation. That was that. I normally stayed in my own pub and sometimes in the Dutch club when they had functions. A few times a bunch of us would tour the other pubs, but I preferred my own. One evening I was arguing with an American about what plane we had hanging on our wall. I automatically lost when he informed me that he knew what they were because he flew them.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

Suicide - Please don't - and stay away from anyone who promotes it

One night this week I heard on the news that every minute 8 men commit suicide world wide. Then the other night again on the news I heard that 50,000 people in the United States committed suicide last year. So that hasn't been removed by my thoughts as I enjoy this beautiful Christmas season. So, I want to talk about it for a bit today. I have a video of PTSD, but I will upload that next week. I took a look at what the stats are for Canada and WHO (World Health Organization). Stats for Canada- suicides are about 4,500 in Canada per year. This amounts to 12 people dying by suicide each day. WHO reports 700,000 world wide suicides a year. The Stats for Americans was approximately 50,000 this year. Just the numbers alone are startling. All these people killing themselves and what are we doing about it? I want to write to our Premiere and ask that OHIP includes mental health and not only physical care. There is money provided to organizations for mental health and charity organizations out there, but we need more. We need to ensure that anyone needing mental health care is covered for it. This should be world wide. There should be support groups initiated specific to this group as there is for AA. And no organization in my opinion who is provided for funding should have MAID on their platform. I believe the objective is to save a life and not take it. There are good insurance plans out there and employers seem to be providing more benefits for this. However, there are so many people who do not have the luxury of insurance and they need help too. I think we fail as a society if we close our eyes. Look at all these lives - gone. Their hope - gone. One of the first things I do if I have a client who is suffering from suicidal thoughts is suggest they share their thoughts not only in the therapy room, journaling et...but with family and those close to them. I also always recommend a full phyisical and psychiatric assessment. Medication can help, sharing can help, learning ways to cope can help and I also try to determine when this started and why? Right now with the internet there are all kinds of people out there who are preying on people. I think it was just this week, that a 12 year old boy killed himself. Someone out there on the internet, told him to pay or otherwise he would release sexual photos of him. Please if there is anyone who is reading this that is being preyed upon right now - go to the police and if you are a minor, please share this with your parents. Talk to them. Don't let some creep steal your life. They are counting on getting away with it because they have you suffer shame. You have nothing to be ashamed of, the creeps do and this extends to pedophiles. Don't give them money because they will ask you for money again and again. Then there are those who who encourage you to kill yourself. We have one guy in jail because he was the cause of so many deaths. He used to be a cook of all things. I know he targeted Canadians, Americans and Brits who are now dead, so he can make a buck. Does he feel responsible? I doubt it. So remember, talk about it.....talk and talk.....If you are at the point where you do want to commit suicide, go to an emergency hospital. Seek professional help. Seek a support group. Practice mindfulness. Work out the problems in your life with support. Nothing is worth your life. Perhaps it is time to make changes. If you are a child please talk to your parents. If you cannot talk to them, talk to a teacher, religious leader, or counsellor at school. If you are bullied, report it and ensure it stops. Tell yourself each day that you love you and that you are worth it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a decent person and a loving person. Surround yourself with positive people. Why not this year tell yourself you want to make changes. You want to live. Take care of yourself. What do you think? PS. They release a new number 988 for suicide prevention. Also, be aware that 211 is available as a resource of mental health organizations. Find out what is available where you live. Have a good weekend.

For Love of Country : Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

We were not in the Middle East long when we learned through the grapevine that two Canadian soldiers were being returned home. This was because one was of Egyptian background and the other Israeli. We were stunned. They were Canadians. I approached them as others did to offer them support and tell them how bad we felt for them and recognized them as Canadian soldiers who should remain. They were like so many of us who had various backgrounds. I never did get used to the women covered completely and walking behind their men. Not all women did that and they said it was religion, but I had a problem believing it was not something more. Time passed rapidly in the desert. Though everyone spoke English, some did so in a limited fashion. I became afraid that my own grammar would diminish, as I had to keep my language simple to be understood. I was afraid that after six months I would continue to speak this way when I returned home. During my first ten days I worked all except one, when I went to Tel Aviv. I worked exclusively with the Dutch Police. Their method of work is entirely different from our own. At least it was in that situation. I spent my first day with Luke examining various report forms. The Sgt Major later informed me that we have over 500 various types of forms or reports. I would never again complain about Canadian paper work. Apparently this was a MFO requirement and not the Dutch way either. When I first spoke to the Colonel he informed me that we had a variety of cases: suicide, homicide and sexual incidents. One of the Dutch military police asked me to guess the age of an Egyptian man. I guessed forties, maybe early fifties. I was surprised that he was in his twenties. The harshness of the sun had drained his youth. His skin, parched with the dryness, seemed baked into place. I was sitting at the station and some Italian officers came to visit. I made coffee and told them how the Dutch didn’t like my coffee. I spoke to them in Italian, grateful that I could practice speaking it. They were quite sympathetic, assuring me that my coffee would be wonderful. As they drank, they spit it out simultaneously, forgetting their manners. "

This is dishwater!” one exclaimed. The moment of truth had come and I must have looked quite offended because they immediately tried to take back what was said though they did not drink any more of my coffee. One of the Dutch policemen made another pot for them. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to my neighbours - South (USA)

I taped the Thanksgiving Parade and am watching it in segments. It is thanksgiving for the people being returned home to Israel. I would have loved to have seen everyone released but it is a start. Yesterday was a frustrating day. I had signed up with Toronto Enterprise for a two hour lecture on cyberg security threats for businesses. I couldn't seem to retrieve a ticket with code, they advertized, which apparently I didn't need because just before the talk, they sent me the login. It began with acknowledging the aboriginal lands which I am used to. They do it now before any lecture, to be respectful. Then they acknowledged that there are from the Black community, people who had to come to Canada against their will. I was surprised by this and my grey cells started to rotate. I have to admit I know more about Black Slavery when it comes about the States. I did attend a town near Windsor where we were informed that Black slaves came from the Underground Railroad and settled in the town and did well. Niagara Falls has a museum as well regarding the Underground Railroad. I have watched several documentaries. I know that when the slaves were escaping for their freedom to Canada, we had slaves here who were not freed. Sounds absurd doesn't it? I know that in the early 1900's a Black man had his own Taxi Company in Toronto. I know that there was a lot of prejudice. However, in school, I only read "Black like me" in grade 8. So, the acknowledgement did make me think. Then there was talk about the city library which helps start up businesses. So at this point, five minutes into what I thought was going to be a topic about cyber attacks, security etc.....I was sure I was in the wrong lecture, told them in the chat, I had registered for the wrong event and left. Apparently, I was at the right place because I received the slides later. So, that frustrated me. A toaster I was supposed to receive Wednesday, never came til today and it was left on the stairs outside for anyone to steal, if I hadn't seen the truck. My office is by the front window. I had to go to the post office twice because I sold my second book and first book on Amazon. First they told me I had seven days and then it was the next day which was yesterday. The postage cost the same as one book and today trying to increase the postage was like pulling out a tooth that doesn't want to come out. It is really hard getting help these days. Anyhow, while trying to catch up and having to go out, I decided that since everything was going bad, I might as well get my hair done and get lunch. Well, that turned out well. I was already in a mood and was getting ready to turn left into the mall when an older man, driving from the opposite direction decided he wanted to turn left right into my car. I honked and stopped and behold he sees me, missing me by six inches. My day seemed to get worse. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, which he must have been trying to light, thus not seeing me. I finally get to my hairdresser and he becomes my therapist as I fume. I get him going and he asks if asking for pronouns can be considered illegal to ask. My grey cells start rotating again and I ponder. Actually, the Enterprise people which means the City of Toronto I presume did want to know if I was heteorsexual or among a list to tick off. They wanted to know my gender and a whole lot of answers to questions. I looked at my hairdresser who I shall call Paul and said I think there can be a case. However, I am not a lawyer. He tells me they want to know that if you apply to work for the city. I think of how in the old days when they added Ms to replace Mrs or Miss and how some got upset about that. Really is it really anyone's business if a woman is married or single? Men were just Mr's single or married. Why did women have to have their marital status revealed? I have heard people complain because they don't want to reveal their pronouns but do because of peer pressure. I decide that my day is not getting better, and ponder that it is no wonder so many people are depressed, so I decide to go have lunch at KFC and a man stands beside me at the counter telling me he is hungry. I observe that he has an emotional disability and I buy him lunch as he demands. He yells, because I won't buy him a big drink, just a small drink with his food. He yells out that he is hungry and wants a big drink. That doesn't fall in the category of hunger, so I just pay for the small drink along with his order of food. We sit separately and another woman who I have seen before (she is a scam artist) tries to scam the woman near me. Today she is pretending not to be able to speak or hear and is producing a card which is asking for money I presume. I call her up on it, so she forgets that she cannot speak, or speak English and responds to me in English. Then something stirs in her brain and she begins talking in a foreign language. Too late, hosay. So, lunch is not as relaxing as I had hoped. There were people begging outside the post office, who looked very healthy. There were more scammers of course. I went shopping for groceries and when I finally got home, I was in a better mood. I realized that I can afford to eat well, can work as little or as much as I want, and am quite pleased with myself. Then there was a grand reporting of the coming together of three religious leaders, Jews, Muslims and Christians outside Toronto and that made me think as well. Though it was a big deal for the reporter, it wasn't for me. That is because I have attended quite a few. It was not news to me. So, they came together because of the increase in Hate, Jews being the most targeted, Muslims next and the LGBQ2+ next in Toronto. Or maybe just because what is happening in the MIddle East is affecting people here. I have often wondered why the major Religious Groups don't speak out more often as a team to the general public. This is a good first step. We need to show unification. So, though it wasn't a great day, it was not my Thanksgiving. However, as I heard people wishing each other Happy Thanksgiving at the mall; I realized they didn't know it was the Americans celebrating. Oh well, we live so close it doesn't matter. So Happy Belated Thanksgiving. I am calling it a day. Have a good weekend.

Ominous - Will be published in the new year. Want to be on my list?

I have been focused on reading my publishers notes and editing my book. What I am doing this time which I haven't before is reading the text out loud. This way I can detect errors better. Try it. I have to admit I love this book. It is full of mystery, and spookiness. It is also in memory of Holy Terror who died when I was writing the book. Of course writing is close to my heart, but it normally takes a back road with my practice, seminars etc....I want to change this. I want to pay more attention to the books I have written and sell them. I do well at Word on The Street and need to find other venues. Actually, whenever I find a place to sell my books I do well. So, I need to be more vigilant. Because I have been giving this editing my primary attention, I have of course fell behind in everything else. I suppose one day, I may retire and focus on my passion. However, I also love my work. Go figure. Sunday I went to Niagara Falls with a group and just loved it. As soon as Mr Attitude dies, I want to place a for sale sign up and go, go, go. We went to Betty's Restaurant for lunch and they have won an award there for their fish and chips. You get a salad, the main meal and dessert. I recommend that you go there. It is in Chippawa, right across from the City of Niagara Falls. It is also the birthplace I believe of James Cameron of the Titanic. Actually they had the house next door from him for sale not too long ago. I had always planned to retire in Niagara Falls, but now that Toronto is getting so rowdy, Niagara is calling me more loudly. If you haven't been there, you must go. The falls are beautiful. It actually reminds me of how Toronto used to be. Of course living somewhere and visiting is always different but I think I'm good. I am always checking out their properties and prices seem to constantly vary so it gives me a good perspective. However, Mr Attitude is my priority and while he is alive, I shall remain steady. Some people just give up their pets, or force a move on them, but I can't do that to my little guy. He is going to be 21 years old. If you see me move, than you know, he has bit the dust. However, only the good die young and this little guy is solid with attitude. So, to dream and boy do I dream. I was scheduled to go to a Christmas party, but that has been cancelled due to the organizer having to be in the Middle East. So much suffering. Come on Hamas, let the hostages go and surrender. Stop hiding where the vulnerable are. Russia, call it a day. Let's all focus on working to delay global warming. There is no need to keep on killing because ultimately if we do not wake up and smell the coffee, we will all be in the same boat, with no point of return. On that note, while I am editing Ominous and I should be finished the first round this week if all goes well, my thoughts turn to my next book which I had started a first chapter. I keep thinking of characters, who is going to live and who is going to die. See you don't have to do it in real life. Anyhow, it has been a long day. I just wanted to let you know how Ominous was doing and how much I love this book. I think you should like it if you like scary books. Keep in mind that I do attend book clubs and sell my books at places where I can. If you would like me to attend, just send me an email. A reminder that I am also selling my books on Amazon now. I still have my web site www.silvaredigonda.ca on shopify but I am considering dropping it since one book buyer had problems downloading the ebook. I don't want anyone having problems getting my books. Shopify gets one more chance. I believe in second chances. If you have problems with ordering any of my books or ebooks, please let me know. I am also willing to mail them anywhere in the world. Take care of yourself. Keep warm. Try to balance your lives, and most important be kind to yourself and others. People need that during these difficult times.

For Love of Country : Military Policewoman - The Middle East ( now being sold on Amazon)

I was kept busy throughout the day. My room was covered with sand and had to be cleaned. Dirt and sand had accumulated. The bed, pillow, carpets, everything was filled with sand. Was this due to one storm? At five I went to the club as ordered and stayed for thirty minutes. The mess opened as well and that is where I preferred to be. I was starving and had missed lunch. Joanie, my roommate from Edmonton, and I fled the bar to go to the mess. We ate and though we were both exhausted, we went to the PX to buy more cleaning supplies. That night I slept well. Joanie and I met and went to breakfast in the morning. We decided that breakfast was an essential meal. The day consisted of briefings in the morning, and I went to the Detachment in the afternoon. It was an interesting day. I met the Dutch and the U.S. military police and it appeared that they hated each other. Doug was there of course and continued to agree with anyone and everyone. I found that immensely comical because they all differed in opinions. I was very pleased with the Provost Marshal, a Colonel. I found him to be a delightful, keen man with no hesitation in saying exactly what he thought. I took some of my clothes to the cleaners and gave them to an Egyptian. He grinned and touched a design I was wearing on my t-shirt which happened to be on my breast. I was furious. I demanded to speak to someone in authority. The manager came and we spoke in the office away from everyone. I explained what had occurred, and he informed me that the Egyptian would be fired. I found that harsh. I had only wanted him spoken to, a warning. I realized how important these jobs were for them. They were paid well. The manager informed me that the employees all knew how they had to refrain from such behaviour and that it was stressed with zero tolerance. He would have to let the man go. I felt kind of bad for this man. Yet, I could not allow any man to touch me inappropriately. I was surprised that he had done so in front of other soldiers. I never did see him again. Again the remaining part of the day was spent cleaning and washing clothes by hand. I fell asleep exhausted and awakened early morning. I wrote a brief note to my mother advising her that I had arrived. I was walking towards a group of people lounging outside. I sat with them to smoke a cigarette. One of the Canadian soldiers scoffed as I sat down and told me that I should put some clothes on. I turned on him. I was wearing shorts. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again!” I raised my voice. I was angry. “I will wear what I want, when I want and how I want in my own time. Get it???? You are here, what, one week? Seeing a woman is too much for you? Get over it! You are not that affected by these women dressed from head to foot. You are a Canadian and you better remember that!” None of the other men commented, but he knew he was alone. This was his problem. Soon the other men began talking about general things. I was in the conversation. My accuser, displeased that I had told him off in front of everyone, backed down. He remained silent and I never heard a peep from him again during my tour. No one had supported him.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca and Amazon

Being hacked? Really......Not nice.

Not too long ago I saw some hateful post against Israel. I reported it. The post asked who was the terrorist, Hamas or Israel? This happened just after Hamas attacked Israel in such a brutal and cruel way. I indicated that it was Hamas who is the terrorist. Now apparently it appears that someone posted something which didn't come from me. Because I am not sure who is impersonating me, I will pause from writing more than one entry a week until I determine who is doing this. I did have someone spew hateful things at me and the Western World. I have no tolerance for hate of any kind. This war in the Middle East is brutal. Hamas is a terrorist group. What is happening now with all the people and children being killed who are innocent is heartbreaking. However, in Canada regardless of where one is from, they should be getting along here. There is no room for hate here. We need to remember that hate is a crime in Canada. It is hateful when one spews hate, keep people from entering establishments, mean graffiti etc.....We need to remember that democracy is fragile. I serve all people and always have. My work is to help people, help themselves. MY work is to keep people alive when they want to die because of desperation. My work is to help families find peace for themselves. My work is to help couples rediscover their love for each other. I have probably worked with people from every culture and religion. As far as I am concerned people deep down are all the same. We need our families and friends. We need the basics of life. We need to have food and water. We need to have shelter. We need to feel safe. We need all the basics before we can be the best we can be. For that person who spewed such hatred at me because of my representation of the Western Word, my first thought was I am so glad to be a Canadian, where I can't be subjected to the consequences of that hate. The second thing that came to mind, was how hard it must be to feel such hatred. I believe that the majority of people are good. There are extremists who seem to find themselves in the pool of hatred who cause harm. What I think we should be mindful of is people who normally come here to become Canadians do so because of a reason. Just recently someone told me at a function that her family came to Canada so she and her sisters could be free to be who they wanted to be - it was for the opportunities they as women would not have at their country of origin. They love their country of course, but it is here that they feel safe. I have heard of women being inprisoned for refusing to change their religion and were subsequently raped and beaten. People who come to live here deserve to feel safe and cared for. We must remember that it is unfair to target any religion or race. Extremists are a minority group who speak volumes, but are just that - the minority. Most people want to just make a living for a healthy and happy life. So, remember this when you want to hurt someone because of something you don't understand. Who you are spewing hate at is someone like yourself, more so than different. Remember that prejudice - is prejudging. There were studies that showed that people who were prejudice were placed with people of the group they hated. Well hold and behold, they found that they were human. How spectacular. Perhaps that is what we need to do when there is a hate crime. Have the culprit do community services for the group they hate, so they can see the humanity which they would not be able to see if there was no exposure. One of the best things in Toronto is the food of the different cultures. Ok, I am vegetarian but I can go into a Palestenian restaurant or Jewish restaurant and have good food. I listen to the stories of new comers and hear of their dreams. So, if you see my name associated with any hate about anyone, it is not me, but let me know where you hear it from. My motto has been since my youth when I was a lifeguard, "Whomever you see in distress recognize in him a fellow man (man at the time included everyone)." Have a good week. Please be kind. If you feel hate in your heart, examine it. If you are of faith, pray. We need it. What do you think? Until next week. PS. I am also selling my books now on amazon. No ebooks are uploaded yet. Have a good weekend.

Perfectionists (cut and pasted ) York University - Health for your info

Women are more likely to be perfectionists when raised by an overbearing father whereas men are more likely to exhibit perfectionism when raised by an overbearing mother, according to a joint study from York University and the University of British Columbia (UBC). It’s the first study of its kind to investigate how the way mothers and fathers bond with their sons and daughters – and how their cold or controlling behaviour – can act as a potential predictor of perfectionist tendencies in young adults. Gordon Flett Gordon Flett “Our research underscores the influence gender-specific parental behaviours can have in the psychological development of children and their risk of perfectionism as they grow older,” said Gordon Flett, the study’s co-author and a professor of psychology in the Faculty of Health at York University. “Perfectionists experience higher levels of depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. The pressure children feel to be perfect is more likely to come from the expectations of one parent, with gender as a key factor.” Using psychological questionnaires, the researchers surveyed over 400 men and women undergraduate students at UBC. While their analysis revealed this pattern of perfectionism in father-daughter and mother-son relationships, Flett points out there are always exceptions. “Perfectionism runs in the family, but further research is needed to fully understand its origins, how it can be fostered differently in boys and girls based on parental bonding behaviours and the gender dynamics at play in child rearing,” he said. The study supports previous research by Flett and his longtime collaborator, UBC’s Paul Hewitt, among others, that theorizes an individual can develop perfectionistic traits to compensate for unmet emotional needs from harsh parenting. It’s also the latest research contribution for Flett in a career that has spanned over three decades studying perfectionism. Flett’s expert advice to parents is they should strive for excellence – and never perfection – in their kids. “There is a subtle, but tremendous difference,” he explains. “Even successful perfectionists never seemed to be satisfied and always focus on what they could have done better. Striving for excellence means parents can model healthy reactions to mistakes that their child can then mimic or imitate.” The study, “Father-daughter and mother-son relationships: Parental bonding behaviours and socially prescribed perfectionism in young adults,” was published earlier this year in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. Flett’s co-authors are Sabrina Ge (first author), Chang Chen, and Hewitt at UBC’s Perfectionism & Psychotherapy Lab. Flett and Hewitt recently co-wrote a book, Perfectionism in Childhood and Adolescence: A Developmental Analysis, which considers the issues addressed in this study in more detail. The book was a finalist for the 2023 PROSE Awards.

Busy Time Again - Reviewing Ominous

Hi, As you know I will be releasing my next book for the new year. My publisher has sent me my edited transcript for review so I need to give that my full attention. This is on top of my private practice so I will only be able to post from my book as promised for the next few weeks. Thank you for reading my blog.

The Sinai Desert - For Love of Country Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

I and the other Military Police person, Doug, were briefed at 11: 00. There were also two other people who had different jobs there listening to the briefing. This was unusual and it did nothing to lift my spirits. The MWO also insisted having either Doug or myself in charge. Doug immediately spoke up that he should be in charge. Doug said he had a way with words, more specifically he said he had a mouth. To avoid an argument, and not create animosity in such a short time, I refrained from further conversation. I had made it quite clear that I was not happy with what was planned. I had expected to work at the Police detachment, but the MWO stated that he preferred us to remain with the unit, but there was not enough work to occupy us. He indicated that working as a bartender would be part of our duties, as well as keeping the bar clean. I informed the MWO that we could not be bartenders as it was a conflict of interest. How can we arrest impaired drivers if we serve them alcoholic beverages? I began quoting orders which listed what was not permitted quite clearly. I imagined my six months as a gopher for the unit and felt my spirits, charm and happiness or what was left of any positivism rapidly diminishing. Our Canadian Officers also had the same demeaning duties. The MWO pointed to the man behind the bar and said he was an Officer. I immediately regretted my hostility towards the guy. He was being humiliated enough. If I didn’t like the prospect of cleaning the bar as part of my routine, I could just imagine how the Officer felt. Doug cordially agreed with everything the MWO wanted, and of course I disagreed. Doug could think he was in charge, but not of me. He could report to the MWO all he wanted. I had worked with people outside the military police only once before, at the Olympics. I learned quickly at that time that it gave some the opportunity to get even. I was worried that it would happen again. It did not bother me to work with this unit. What did bother me was the concept of working at the Detachment and being sent back to the unit to sweep and clean for a couple of hours. I saw a bleak prospect for my time here. The MWO continued that if we were not treated fairly we were to return to the unit. I assured him that would not happen. We were told that at 5pm we were to return to the club for a meet and greet. With no sleep possible, hungry, and my first day of menstruation, I was not happy. I went to my room and changed. Being aware of too many men around me, I wore jeans and a t-shirt. Others, less bashful or conscious of pale white legs wore shorts. Some of the men even wore bikini sunbathing attire. For a brief moment it seemed as if we were at a resort. Not much later, I was sipping on a free Coke, compliments of the Commanding Officer. I was gazing outside the window from the club when I saw the wind begin to drift the sand. It became worse and I saw my first sandstorm. “Just like in the movies!” one man at the bar exclaimed. I continued to watch the storm and saw birds being forced to fly in reverse. I wondered how they survived. I was amazed. It then suddenly started to rain. I learned that the forecast had called for coming winds. There had been no warning for this storm. I realized that this would be one of the many dangers our pilots would face. My enthusiasm about the storm was not shared among my colleagues. Perhaps they were too exhausted. People who had been outside began running into the club, soaked and sandy. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy (notes)

Triggering Warning: Fire Arms death ages 1 to 44 years of age are top leading deaths in the USA; Wilful killing by one person to another. Homicidal Behaviour is occurring - also suicidal behaviour and femicide behaviour if assessing, one need to assess another. Interview with one person who has lived with gun violence: Participant seemed nervous answering questions. He was looking at the time. He had seen people being shot but ideology has not changed. He believes people need guns to protect themselves. He wants to know his daughters friends and families, to see what they believe in. He used to carry a firearm for his work. One day he went to pick up his mother. There was a few men blocking the street. He realized they had guns. He had to make the decision if he was going to reverse his car or if he was going to go through where he would have to use his own weapon. He decided to turn around. After that incident he sold his gun. He said that if you carry a gun, you don’t know how you are going to respond. For a few weeks he had pondered if he had made the right decision of backing away. What is your lived experience of guns and homicide such as community distress, past experiences, Mental Health Disorders? How to deal with anger? (Adhia et..alll 2019 ) - Victims. Broken desired intimacy, jealousy, altercations. Gun Violence : 135 out of 150 adolescence were female. 66% were 15,1/2 to 18.1 years of age. 102 perps were 18 years or older, average age was 20. The hand gun: one male killed his girlfriend because of nude photos that had been distributed. The role of psychotherapy and childhood maltreatment is homicidal ideation. A study looked at psychopathy (lack of remorse, empathy). Incarcerated - if child maltreatment had occurred. As childhood maltreatment increased so did homicidality - men more so than women and gangs were not indicative of this. Leakage is the communication to a third person as an intent to harm or target. Communication can vary widely such as email, verbal etc…It can reveal feelings, attitudes (Meloy & Otoole, 2011). It is not motivated to be stopped. So often it has occurred in mass shootings (I will speak more about mass shooting since I attended a lecture on Violence). Don’t expect someone to actually do the harm. Must be joking, denying it. It is uncomfortable. We must not be a weak link. This is important information to minimize. We need to be able to assess leakage. Example: one teenager communicated he wanted to kill his girlfriend. Case Study: Mother had lost custody. Grandpa adopted 14 year old boy and his younger brother. 14 year old boy leaked out that he wanted to kill his girlfriend. He goes to the kitchen and cuts his wrists in front of the grandparents. He proceeds to get a gun. Grandmother calls police. He aims the gun at his grandmother when she gets in his way to leave. He tells her to move. There was a bullet in the chamber. We watched a video of a later interview with this family. The grandparents were about middle aged, much younger than I had expected. The 14 year old boy, I won’t describe. He comes in later. It could have been a better video if it was explained. I didn’t know who the therapist was initially. The grandmother was complaining that her grandson was carrying the gun and could have killed her. He told her he would. Her husband downplayed the incident saying the grandson didn’t mean it. It was a cry for help, he was “pissed”, testosterone. While watching this video I thought it would be good training for interns. The therapist or who ever was in the video had flip flops on which and her feet were moving which was distracting and her jeans were not on properly which was also distracting. I mention this because it is important for therapists to be aware of their own presence. It may be my own biases. However, I never saw anything like this before. Anyhow, the grandfather didn’t see anything is an issue. He downplayed that his grandson had pointed a gun at his wife. There are domains here: Safety - increase or decrease risk, 2. emotional risk - shame, guilt, fatal or non fatal 3. Neighbourhood factors - violence, community safety, gun presence, friends, traditions, shared commonalities, status, regret. Social Perspectives. A clinician can be easily triggered in working with a family due to a belief system. How they parent this child. Grandmother “he put my life in danger.” Grandpa doesn’t see it that way. We need to create safety - the sociology. How does the family respond when homicidal behaviours enter the room? Lead with second order change (relational change) Pull in first order change when needed (behavioural change). This boy did go out to the community and police arrested him. Lethal Means Safety Counselling: Be straight forward, practical and respectful. Where does access occur in the community. It only takes one bullet for someone to die. Talk about safer storage. Look at pros and cons of keeping a gun in the house and changing how it is stored. For some it is safety and protection of family. Assault and Homicidal Danger Assessment Tool. No predictable risk of assault/ homicide. Low risk -Moderate Risk - High Risk. How do we address the relationship, so homicide is not the solution. When child is distressed instead of turning to the caregiver, turned to a gun - homicidal behaviour. Difference of grandparents views make it difficult for the child to turn to them. Show how systematic family needs to change for behaviour of the child. Pretending what happens when not in the same page. We watched another film with this family now including both children. There is a demonstration of a crash but again the film was not explained prior or during the film. I cannot see if what is used is a toy car. Grandmother is supposed to (let’s say it is a car) crash her car into another. She doesn’t want to do this (it is not explained why). How do we address the relationship, so homicide is not the solution? When caregivers are in conflict, children are in conflict…… When you need us we are there for you and this allows children to be able to go to them. Any errors here will be mine. Also, I don’t have time to proof read so please forgive me. Though this was set in the States, this can apply anywhere. I would have really loved to have know why the children were removed from their mother’s care. How was the mom raised? Oh well. This was the first lecture of the three day conference. I will post these once a week and the rest of the week will be either a portion of my book and or theology. Happy Hallowe’en. It’s tonight! Goblins and spooky things. What do you think?

My tid bits

Well I attended another wonderful three day conference last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. There were also two sessions I chose that dealt with writing books (Of course I did). Regarding books the sisters of crime will be providing a talk next month I believe about the court systems here in Canada and the States and the differences. I really want to attend that. Apparently Canadians are claiming the Fifth Ammendment when in Canadian Court which of course does not apply in Canada. I had to chuckle. If I had another life to live, I would be a criminal lawyer. I have also been invited to the local authors in Mississauga for a Christmas dinner and of course I want to attend that as well. Soon my publisher will be providing me with the first ten chapters of my book Ominous and that is also of course a priority. I will need to proof read and look for any recommendations/ editing etc……I am so excited about my book. I am thinking of switching my book platform to amazon. I didn’t put anything on amazon because they lost 200 of my first book which I had shipped to them. Then there was the complaint I heard from Authors that readers were buying books and ebooks and being refunded. However, I haven’t heard any complaints in a while and they do have the biggest platform so I am thinking about it. I had gone with shopify because it is a Canadian company but I am charged in American dollars and I don’t think that is very Canadian. So lots to do and think about. Mr Attitude was sick for a few days and I am happy that he has become his almost normal self. Attending a conference on line with him howling for me to get off was quite annoying. One attendee indicated she had a cat on her lap and a parrot on her shoulder. I can only wish that Mr Attitude would be happy lounging on my lap. He is only happy if I am in bed or on the couch where he likes to snuggle. This is my last pet so I am cherishing all our moments. I miss travelling and being a free spirit and Mr Attitude won’t permit it. Who figured? I cannot believe he is 20 years old. How long does a cat live? I will provide you with my first session Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy very soon. Did I mention a Hallowe'en party?

Getting ready for my conference. Dancing with the Stars tribute.......

Ok, I thought I would have more time, but apparently not. I have to book my lectures in advance. Next week I should have more time so I will just talk a bit. Last night I watched Dancing With the Stars and watched the beautiful tribute they performed for Len Goodman. I watched him for many years on the show and didn't realize how much he was loved. I am glad. They actually had me in tears as I watched their grief expressed. During these difficult times in the world with Russia's invasion, Hamas' path of destruction on line and live and with countries needing to defend themselves resulting in innocents being killed, is a difficult period. There is so much suffering on all sides. We are seeing that we have not learned from history. We all need to feel safe, have a roof over our heads, be able to have food to sustain us and be able to sleep in peace. Try to spend time in nature, establish a relationship with God and if you don't believe in God, spend time in nature and reflect on yourself and the positives in your lives. Surround yourself with people who love you and care for you. If you don't have that, join social clubs that enhance positivity. Choose a hobby if you don't have one, or add another. Sing.......dance........listen to music......do something nice for someone, even if it is just a smile. Limit your social media. Turn off notifications each day for at least a half hour....try it and most of all be kind to yourself. You deserve it. For now I wish you a peaceful week. I have lots to share and always feel free to reach out. Next week I shall have more time. Take care. What do you think?

Happy Hallowe'en (We need a laugh. Thank you Florida. Come to my neighbourhood and I shall supply coffee and donuts

For Love Of Country Military Policewoman The Middle East www.silvaredigonda.ca

However, our first day was not pleasant. I had run out of cigarettes and I was irritable. I contributed this to the lack of sleep and food. We could not eat on the flight. I also found our greeting too militant and had expected a more cordial welcome. We were immediately escorted in groups of five to stores to retrieve our desert boots. The smallest size they had for me was 12, instead of the seven I needed to fit me, so I left them there. My second experience was going to the washroom and seeing disturbing and vulgar graffiti on the walls. I was also menstruating and wondered what remnants of that was being left around. I had been unprepared. We had a quick tour of the base and of our barracks adjacent to our club called “Beaver,” representing Canada’s beaver. I had my own room and was happy about that. It also had an air conditioner. As soon as I was free, I went to our club to buy cigarettes, only to be informed that I needed coupons to buy them and I would not get them until 4 PM that day. I was not happy and I just stood there glaring at him. He later attempted to appease me by offering me a cigarette. I responded with a quick “no” and ignored him. I would later come to understand why he would not sell me cigarettes. The RSM who had been a Warrant Officer in my Junior Leader Course lent me three of his coupons so I could buy two packages of cigarettes. I was rescued. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

International Conference on Men and Abuse

I enjoyed the conference. Today I will be sharing about the first speaker, Dr Benjamin Roebuck, Federal Ombudsperson for Victims of Crime, Government of Canada. He stated he has also worked as advisor to the Canadian Armed Forces. He reported that for men violence is often silence and they don’t know where to go for help. Men are worthy of safety too. He provided a case: A man had bought a revolver but decided to get rid of it and informed police because he suspected his wife would accuse him of using the revolver against her. Two years later, she was beating him with a bat in front of their children. Police were called and she said that he had aimed a registered gun at her, which he no longer had. Next week, I shall be very busy. I have selected my lectures to attend in the three day conference with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Some were very difficult choices because there were more than one, I was interested in attending, during the same time. I am mostly conflicted about Past Betrayals and how it lingers and effects relationships in the future. The other is Mothers who are jealous of their daughters. Such a difficult choice. What should I choose? I also have to see clients on my free days so I may not be able to write here. Just saying. I have enough material from here to Christmas on just these two conferences and yet there is so much more. So have a good week. Feel free to ask questions any time.

A Special Thank You for Our SickKids Lottery Supporters

Marijuana - (Told you) - I have cut and pasted the article for you with a reference at the end for further reading. For some reason I couldn't get the link to work.

The commercialization of cannabis that followed its legalization for nonmedical use was associated with an increase in hospitalizations for cannabis-related health problems, including cannabis-induced psychosis, according to new research. In a repeated cross-sectional analysis that included some 26.9 million individuals, researchers found that the rate of hospitalizations due to cannabis increased 1.62 times between 2015 and 2021. The rate of hospitalizations increased most precipitously after commercialization, including a 40% increase in hospitalizations for cannabis-induced psychosis. Dr Daniel T. Myran "There were harms from a public health standpoint, regarding criminal convictions related to cannabis," study author Daniel T. Myran, MD, MPH, a family and public health physician at the University of Ottawa, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and an investigator at the Bruyère Research Institute in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, told Medscape Medical News. "You can have important public health gains from legalization. I think the caution in our study warns that there is a big difference between legalizing or decriminalizing cannabis and commercializing it." The findings were published October 5 in JAMA Network Open. Decline With Legalization Canada has a universal healthcare system, and the researchers accessed health administrative databases that recorded all acute hospitalizations for patients aged 15 to 105 years in the four most populous provinces: Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, and British Columbia. They compared changes in rates of hospitalizations due to cannabis over the following three time periods: prelegalization (January 2015 to September 2018), legalization with product and store restrictions (October 2018 to February 2020), and commercialization (March 2020 to March 2021). There were 105,203 hospitalizations due to cannabis during the study period. Most (65.8%) were in males, and one third were in adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24 years. The age- and sex-standardized rate of hospitalizations due to cannabis increased 1.62 times: from 3.99 per 100,000 individuals in January 2015 to 6.46 per 100,000 individuals in March 2021. The largest relative increase in hospitalizations was for cannabis-induced psychosis, which rose 40% during the commercialization period, compared with the prelegalization period (rate ratio, 1.40). To read more here is the link.... https://lnkd.in/eDJ2t2nY My view. I have always been opposed to this. It pains me to see cannabis being sold everywhere with children playing outside in their neighbourhoods.

Breaking News: Tax Free Therapy Update

For Love Of Country Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

“CHAPTER THIRTY The Sinai The flight to Europe was long and tiring. Again I looked down at the British Isles that I so badly wanted to visit but couldn’t. The timing was wrong. I had taken two pills to help me with the flight. The doctor who prescribed them said I had to be awake. “But I don’t want to be awake if I crash. I want to sleep through it,” I argued. “You need to be awake, in case you crash,” he responded. I walked onto the Boeing 707, at Trenton, after swallowing the pills a half hour before the flight. As I walked along the aisle, one guy said he wanted whatever it was that I was on. The drug was making me feel like I couldn’t care less if we crashed or not. It was magical and I must have had a stupid smile on my face judging from some of the comments I was receiving. I was getting an understanding of what it meant to be “high.” We did not crash and the pills wore off. After an eight hour flight, we landed in Germany and we waited to get onto the Hercules for the remaining trip. We were packed individually in hanging harnesses. We had clear visibility of each other. After another seven hour flight, at about 0415 hrs, we arrived. As we were landing I could see condensation on the ceiling of the plane and hoped that it was okay. There was a tiny opening. No one seemed to react to it so I felt fine. I could not wait to land. It was April Fools’ Day when we found ourselves in the Sinai Desert. We looked around us. The sky was beautiful. The sun, an orange glow, welcomed us. It must have been about 72 degrees. I was surprised at seeing bushes strewn here and there. I had expected only sand, but vegetation of sorts did grow here. But due to my fear of flying I had not slept, and I was beginning to suffer for it. We were lined up outside our plane. Exhausted, we continued to study our surroundings. I felt at ease. It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. The area was flat and rocky. It was nice to see some greenery. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” www.silvaredigonda.ca

Men's Conference was interesting

Well I missed the socializing and food but it was interesting. I will be sharing information with you next week. It began with difficulty because Professors from Israel of course could not attend. We did have slides from one but it was difficult to keep up because it was read quite fast. I don't have copies of the slides though some of the Researchers said they would provide them. They were from 10 different countries I believe. I attended the end of a speaker from Capetown, UK, States, Canada (of course), Japan,and I think Sweden. It was a two day conference from about 0900 to 1700 daily with a good lunch break in between. I get a break next week and then the following week I will be attending the American Association of Family Therapy. That exhausted me last year and I am sure it will do the same this year. I find it difficult to sit quietly for three days in a row without the socializing which I enjoy so much. Oh well. I am always eager to keep up with the information that is out there. I shall be providing you with information from the conference beginning next week. Remember that this conference was open to all. Have a safe weekend. Good talk.

New Paths to Recovery (cut and pasted for you to read) from University of Toronto

Every year, thousands of Canadians seek help for addiction. Which treatments work best? By Alison Motluk October 12, 2023 John had been feeling tired for months. He didn’t have any energy or motivation, and he couldn’t keep up with his usual work and family obligations. What seemed to help was a few drinks in the evening. His wife thought he had a problem. So did his doctor, who gave it a fancy label: “alcohol use disorder.” They thought he needed treatment. Actually, “John” doesn’t exist – he is part of a vignette that U of T researchers are using to assess people’s views toward addiction. After reading the vignette, people are asked a series of questions to tease out their beliefs. Is addiction a moral failing? Is it a consequence of trauma? A genetic predisposition? A disease? Samantha Rundle, a recent PhD graduate from U of T’s department of psychology, is interested in the relationship between addiction and stigma. She is also interested in how stigma might act as a barrier to treatment for people like John and whether changing the way we talk about addiction can reduce it. Rundle gave questionnaires to people after they read a vignette similar to the one above. Sometimes John was Jane, sometimes John/Jane had an addiction not to alcohol, but to opioids or gambling. Sometimes John/Jane had no addiction at all, but had diabetes. Rundle asked people to say whether statements such as “once someone has an addiction, they will always have an addiction” or “individuals with addiction lack moral standards” were true. In addition to 755 responses from the general public, she also got them from 109 people who had addictions, to measure self-stigma. She found that in the survey of the public, people were more likely to align with what she calls the “psychological” model of addiction, which attributes addiction to past traumatic experiences, maladaptive coping mechanisms and other psychological deficiencies. People who view addiction through this model, she found, were less likely to stigmatize people with addictions. Those who view addiction through a “moral” model, which attributes addiction to weakness in character and bad choices, were more likely to stigmatize, she found. “My main goal was to identify which models are related to less stigma,” says Rundle. “Maybe the way in which we talk about addictions and the way in which we learn about them and the way that they’re portrayed in the media need to be modified in order to have these people be OK to reach out to treatment programs.” In short, why not create messaging around addiction that reduces stigma, so that more people who need treatment will be willing to get it? There is evidence that treatment can help a person overcome addiction. Some people defy stigma and seek that treatment out. But much is still unknown about exactly how different treatments work and what their effects in the brain really are. U of T researchers are examining those questions, pushing forward our understanding of how addiction works, one piece of the puzzle at a time. According to Statistics Canada, about one in five Canadians will experience an addiction at some time in their life. Data from other sources suggest about three per cent of Canadians will use illegal drugs such as cocaine, ecstasy or heroin in any given year. Canadians using prescription medications such as opioid pain relievers, psychoactive drugs and stimulants also sometimes report problematic use. But alcohol, nicotine and cannabis remain Canada’s most-used problem drugs. Addiction is a burden on the Canadian economy. According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), substance abuse disorders cost about $40 billion annually in additional health care and criminal justice expenses, and lost productivity. The personal cost – in misery, illness and death – is harder to put a number on. Konstantine Zakzanis, a professor in the department of psychology at U of T Scarborough, and Tyler Brown, a master’s student in psychological clinical sciences, are interested in whether the cognitive abilities that are compromised during addiction – things like memory, concentration, decision making, planning and problem-solving – can be restored by treatment and abstinence. Most research addressing this question only looks at a snapshot in time. But Brown (under supervision from Zakzanis), has just launched a longitudinal study, to examine that question over an extended period. He has partnered with a private inpatient treatment facility, the Canadian Centre for Addictions; together they aim to follow at least 85 patients for several months. Testing and interviews when a person first arrives at the centre will establish their baseline. Brown is interested not only in standard measures of cognition, but also the person’s mood, personality characteristics and ability to navigate daily life – things like personal care, shopping, cooking, housekeeping, banking, relationships and vocational activities. He knows that most people with substance use disorders are struggling with more than one substance, and he has embraced that in the study design. The centre’s programs run for 30, 45, 60, 90 or 120 days, and they involve counselling, social support and activities such as yoga, art therapy and group walks. On day 30, all of the study participants, who have given informed consent, will be retested. The same will happen on day 90, even if the people have left the facility, either because their program ended or because they didn’t finish it. After that, a check-in will occur three months post-treatment. Brown says he and Zakzanis want to know what happens to people in the real world. “Are they able to get back to work? Are they able to get back to living independently? Are they able to get back to school, because their cognition is now good enough? That’s important,” says Brown, “not just for the individual, but for their caregivers, their families, their employers.” Some, they know, will run into trouble again and come back into treatment. He wants to continue following them as well. What led to the relapse? What did they end up using? Research Zakzanis has done in the past suggests that how much and how long a person has used drugs is a decent predictor of how well they will recover in terms of cognition. But he speculates that so are traits like resiliency and conscientiousness. “We’re going to be measuring those things along the way,” he says. His view is that when cognition – specifically, the brain’s executive functioning – improves, so does a person’s ability to operate day to day. He likens executive functioning to the conductor of a choir. “You have all these other parts of your brain doing things – processing information, consolidating new memories, perceiving the world around you – meaning they’re all adding music,” he says. “But at the end of the day, it only sounds like music when the conductor can put it all together.” Digital illustration, primarily in blue tones, depicting four street lights, with two people under the nearest light, one with a guiding hand on the back of the other, and a person with their arms held out under the furthest light. Illustration by Gracia Lam If treatment coupled with abstinence can be shown to improve overall cognition, and therefore control over behaviours needed to overcome addiction, that will be a promising finding – indicating there’s hope for long-term meaningful cognitive recovery. If treatment can restore cognitive function, then there is almost certainly more than one way to make that happen. If brain-based mechanisms are underlying the disorder, says Victor Tang, an addiction psychiatrist and clinician scientist at CAMH and an assistant professor in U of T’s department of psychiatry, then therapy, medication and brain stimulation could each be successful in bringing about modifications. “It’s just different entry points into changing the brain,” he says. When people do cognitive behavioural therapy and other forms of talk therapy, they are developing coping mechanisms and personal strategies to figure out how to avoid drug use, he says. The idea is that such therapy changes the way the brain works; it changes cognition itself. But such changes are underpinned by changes in brain circuitry. And as a neuroscientist, Tang is experimenting with techniques to treat the brain more directly. Tang is using electrical or magnetic pulses that stimulate the brain rather than psychological therapy. But in many ways they share the same goal – altering brain function. One technique, called repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation, involves creating an electromagnetic field in a coil, placing the coil next to the part of the brain you want to influence – in this case, the prefrontal cortex – then using it to activate the brain and hopefully cause changes in how the brain functions. Two years ago, scientists in the U.S. and Israel showed that stimulating this region of the brain in this way was effective at helping people quit smoking. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the device for smoking cessation treatment in 2021, and Health Canada did the same in 2022. The smoking study was proof of concept that repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation could be effective in treating addiction, says Tang. But he is mindful that, as he puts it, “a lot of addictions travel with mental illness.” So, Tang will be investigating the treatment’s effectiveness against nicotine addiction in people with various mental health conditions. In these studies, participants will come to CAMH for treatments over a period of three or four weeks. Each session of repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation will be paired with a reminder or “activation” of their cognitive coping skills. Since both the brain stimulation and the reminders are trying to do the same thing – alter the way the brain works – Tang believes the therapy will reinforce the changes introduced by the stimulation. Another study (which Tang is not leading but is working on) will look at addiction alongside depression. Previous research has shown that another kind of non-invasive brain stimulation, known as theta burst stimulation, is effective at treating depression. One of its advantages is that it is much quicker than repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation – just three minutes compared to about 40 minutes – with equally good outcomes. Tang and his colleagues want to know if theta burst stimulation could be effective at treating patients who have both depression and alcohol use disorder. Because the researchers know that cognition is affected by both these conditions, they will examine whether a four-week trial of theta burst stimulation can improve scores on tests of cognition. It works the other way too: cognition affects both addiction and depression. So, they also want to know if depression scores improve and craving symptoms decline. But even if these brain stimulation treatments work in the short term, Tang admits, it is not yet clear if the positive effects will last without some sort of maintenance therapy – another question he would like to explore.

Trudeau speaks against Hamas and those supporting them

Catching up, sick, work and Conferences and the news is depressing of course.

Of course I got sick. However, I feel better every day. I cancelled my live attendance at the Men's Conference tomorrow and Friday but will attend via webinar. I was hoping to attend in person and socialize but it appears I must skip this year. I am also missing out going to St Jacobs, but what the heck. If sick, stay home is my motto. I haven't been to the gym either and I have been binge watching on my days off. Of course I am still working but taking it slow. I am so fortunate that all my work can be done on line. Toronto went from warm temperatures where air conditioning was needed to brrrrr cold where my heat is on in a week. I know that as a Canadian I can go South for six months to the USA and that may be a consideration once Mr Attitude rests in peace. However, he is still verbally active to a point where he appears human and belligerent. However, at 100 years in animal years, he is mine for life as all my pets have been. Actually, he thinks I am his pet and lets me know when he is pissed. It has also been hard watching the news of what is happening in the Middle East and I could not help but cry when I learned what Hamas has done to babies. It is so unfortunate that innocent people on both sides will die during this war. What was also difficult was watching protests happening in my city which is so disrespectful. I even sent an email to our Mayor indicating that unsanctioned protests that take over our city streets should have hefty fines and billed for the services of the police and any other costs incurred. She did ask for anyone who had ideas to let her know. You see we have a deficit and need to find money. I have been thinking of my own time in the Middle East. So what I shall be doing as I post pages of my book, For Love of Country Military Policewome is skip my order in the chapters and move to the Chapter of the Middle East. Writing this book was writing my biography. I had to be careful writing this book and not write anything that I shouldn't be writing. I don't want to face jail time for leaking anything I shouldn't. My Chief assured me I was safe. Since publishing this book, every once in a while someone I served with contacts me to tell me he agrees with what I wrote and memories are stirred for that person. At book sales Jewish men normally come to buy a copy when they see it. One woman not in the military told me she cried reading my book. Of course there are always those who hate the military. One woman actually hissed at me (where was Mr Attitude and Holy Terror?). Another woman told me that women should give life and not kill - Wow. What I believe is that we need a strong military to ensure and maintain democracy. We are being faced with so many challenges. I remember reading about a Soviet Defector many years ago. He had come to Canada and eventually went to the States. What he said that unless a person has a knife against his throat he (or she)does not acknowledge or see a threat. I resonated with that phrase at the time and see it more in action today with the threat of the consequences of global warming, COVID and other diseases, and acts and attempted take overs of countries. The sad part is also that civilians are killed more now than ever before as our weapons become more sophisticated. Can you imagine walking around with so much hate? We need to have a wakeup call and not wait until a knife is at our throat to see the dangers. We cannot be oblivious of it. Anyhow, this is all I am going to write about regarding wars and terrorists for awhile. For now take care of yourselves where ever you may live. I will write about what I glean from the conference. I had already planned what sessions to attend if I was attending in person and have no idea how it is going to work virtually. As for you, try to find balance in your life. If you are grieving, allow yourself to do so. Each person has their own way of grieving and if that person comes to you, allow them to grieve their way. LIsten to them and don''t feel you need to advise them or contradict them. Sometimes all a person needs is a person they can trust to confide in. Take care.

An email from Dr Bennet, Minister in my riding to her constituents - Contact numbers for Canadians in Israel

Dear Silva, Today I am reaching out to you to affirm and declare that we unequivocally stand with Israel and condemn the terrorist actions committed by Hamas over the weekend. Now is the time to stand with Israel and affirm its right to defend its sovereignty, its security and its people. My heart and thoughts are with all Israeli people at this time. We are appalled at the rallies that are happening to celebrate and justify the murder and horrific attacks on innocent civilians by Hamas terrorists. The Palestinian people deserve better. The terrorism must stop, the violence is absolutely unacceptable. As a little girl, I remember singing Shalom Chaverim. I knew it was about wishing friends peace. Until my first trip to Israel in 1998, I think I took living in peace for granted. I chaired the Canada-Israel Parliamentary Friendship Group for five years. I have been to Israel eight times. I led a delegation of Parliamentarians during the 2nd Intifada, I was part of the MPs in the summer of 2014 during the Gaza war. From the bomb shelters in schools, the iron dome, to all young people doing military service, the threat of attacks and violence was always palpable. On Monday evening in Mel Lastman Square, I stood in solidary together with my fellow MPs in the moving vigil for Israel Expressions, with prayers & singing Hatikvah led by Rabbi Splansky of Holy Blossom Temple. It moved us all. This recent attack on Israel reinforces the need to support Israel’s ability to defend its borders and the necessity of addressing the terrorism of Hamas and its risk to the region and the world. Shalom Chaverim My heart is with everyone affected by the horrific attacks. Carolyn   Canadian officials in Ottawa and in our missions in Tel Aviv and Ramallah are working around the clock to provide emergency consular assistance to Canadians in these difficult times. For emergency consular assistance, Canadians can contact Global Affairs Canada’s 24/7 Emergency Watch and Response Centre: By calling +1 613-996-8885  By text message at +1 613-686-3658  Via WhatsApp at +1 613-909-8881  Via Telegram at Canada Emergency Abroad Via Signal at +1 613-909-8087 By e-mail at sos@international.gc.ca A message from the PM Our Prime Minister has made it very clear - Canada stands with Israel, and we unequivocally condemn Hamas' attack. To read his full statement visit: https://www.pm.gc.ca/en/news/statements/2023/10/08/statement-prime-minister-trudeau-attacks-against-israel or watch the videos below.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada. When I woke up this morning I thought of all that I have and am thankful for. I thought I would share. I am thankful for who I am. I am thankful for my faith in God, a good God and not a nasty one. I am thankful for having only one country bordering mine and that the USA is not trying to invade me or kill me. I am thankful for a good neighbour whose values of peace and democracy I share. I am thankful for living in a country where I can say whatever I want, do whatever I want, dress however I like and for being provided the opportunities for growth. I am grateful for all that I have. I am grateful for serving my country and always having careers where I could help my country, my people and all people. I am grateful for being able to live a life where I have good food to eat, a roof over my head, and a healthcare system that has kept me healthy. I am grateful for all the opportunities I have been given, even those I have rejected. I am thankful for the freedom to be able to do all this. I am grateful for learning how men should love women from the way I saw my father love my mother. He adored her. I am grateful for each friend that I have had and still have. I am grateful to all who love me and will love me. I am grateful for all the pets I have ever had. I am grateful for the choices I am able to make. I am grateful for the choice to be single or married and to change my mind if I choose to. I am grateful for all that I have experienced because it has made me. I love myself and I love all of humanity good and bad and I am grateful that I can. I am grateful for so much. I have had wonderful friends and mentors and still have friends from my childhood. I am grateful for each breath that I take and shall never take it for granted. I love life so much. I am thankful that I can still help people in my work. I am not so thankful that I have difficulty suffering fools, but hey, no one's perfect. Thank you God and country and everyone I know who enhances my life. What are you thankful for? No matter what you may be going through at this moment or day in your life, try to step back and think of one thing you are thankful for. What do you think?