Veteran - I am talking to you. One suicide is one too many.

     This morning I have received quite a few emails about veterans dying at their own hand, veterans being disrespected and one husband of a veteran who committed suicide getting a notice that 500 dollars or so was required to be paid back because of her death.  Really???? I know that common sense is a fallacy.  I also know that average intelligence is not that great.....but really????? In the case of the latter there was an appology.  This is one year that I can honestly say I do not know who to vote for at any government level.  It seems to be a fiasco.  There is no team work at problem solving and if anyone knows about team work, it is the military.

     My interest is counselling veterans and their families.  There is no shame in getting help.  It takes guts to get help.  I turn no veteran away due to financial difficulties.

     If you are thinking of committing suicide please do not do that.  With help you can over come that though you do not think that now.  What have you got to lose?



Veteran helping Veterans!!!!



         

It takes guts to get help!

     I have been thinking this morning about the startling amount of suicides among young people, the media trying to do something good by destigmatizing mental health, and the people who have the courage to get help.

     The more different one is from another, the more the other is regarded as different, and therefore there can be friction by the one who has power.  We are not all the same.  We each have had a different life.  Some of us have had the blessing to be born to be surrounded by love.  Others first memory is that of terrifying abuse.  Children are not personal property.  Society has an obligation to protect them.

    Children who are bullied and demeaned at times grow up to do the same thing and the cycle therefore continues.  However, the cycle may be halted.  One person may make such an impact for a child or person to make a turn in his or her life.

     If I have learnt anything in my practicum and private practise is how much I admire people who go for care.   It takes such strength to examine one self.  It takes such courage to say enough is enough and I want to be my own person.  I have to admire that.  I was thinking about a canvas whose shape begins to form.  The artist allows you to peek at his or her soul.  If you see tragedy there, you can seek to understand.  If you are trusted, than you can see deeper and that is not always easy.  Ultimately, the portrait takes form with different colours, texture and a story is told.  To be trusted to share is a precious gift.  There is no judgement, no insistence that the artist is wrong.  As the artist begins to feel more comfortable she or he may become more relaxed and perhaps just view life a tiny bit differently and a new canvas is brought forth with hope and another road to emerge and discover.
     I do not understand "stigma."  Stigma perhaps may eventually change to omit survivors of chemical imbalances, abuse of any kind and just plain bad responses.   It is the person who puts others down to justify their own inadequacies and insecurities who should be held accountable.

     I am so fortunate to be able to welcome those who want help.  I am blessed each time I am trusted.  It is each person who steps up to help themselves who should be admired by society as I admire these people who have so much courage to help themselves.  I am the person receiving the gift each day.
   

Something to think about when it comes to religion, spirituality and leadership.

    This morning it is extremely cold again and so I have the liberty of a me day.   I was thinking about Theology.  I was wondering where we as people were headed to.  I was actually listening to the newscast recently when I heard that life as we know it would change due to climate change.  I thought that very interesting because it has been about eight years or more since I attended about a two or three day seminar about climate change and how we are responsible for its increase.  What is happening, would happen but not at this speed.  I lived before today’s technology dominated the world.  However, many in this generation have grown without that transition.  They have been born into technology.  I think progress is good.  I think what we have is wonderful.  I cannot afford to keep up to date with the electronics which advances weekly.  Whenever I do buy something that I need, it is like buying a new toy.  I remember typing and hoping not to make a mistake.  Those days are over.  Or are they?  In everything we do, we tend to forget the consequences.  A friend of mine was telling me how one country was tampering with the weather because they wanted a particular forecast that day.  I shook my head, in agreement that it was not healthy.  We tend to forget about the future and just think in the present.  There seems to be a greed that far surpasses what is best for society, especially the future.  Too many in positions of power play God.  They ignore the warnings of scientists.  I sometimes wonder why?  They have children.  Can they really be that blind sighted?  

       I remember attending a work shop and the topic was the environment.  I thought it would be similar to what I had attended at university.  What I found remarkable is that someone thought I was ridiculous for even considering global warming as a problem.  He became downright rude.  How can you argue when someone is being fallacious to shut you up?  He would learn in time.   I know that I was shocked when I heard about how serious this was.  I wanted to learn more.  I was so interested that had I been younger I would have immediately enrolled in their Masters program dealing with Emergency Management.   We were told that the States would scoop us right up.   I was used to seeing American recruiters setting up outside some exam rooms for certain disciplines.  Why not?  

       I decided to study theology and counselling for the next chapter consisting of five years.  It has been very interesting.  I studied under the Jesuits.  The Pope is a Jesuit.  Jesuits are not normally promoted.  That is not in their mandate.  I am glad that I had the solid instruction I have had from them.  I have also been in the company of the religious of other dominations and I am always learning and consistently surprised.  This is what makes life interesting.

      Yesterday I spoke to a man who told me he had stayed up all night because he had been praying at the temple.  He looked tired, but as he spoke of his religion, his face lit up.  He began talking about his religion.  He was trying to convince me that his religion is a healthy one.  I thought of all the major religions and responded that they are all good in theory.  He was curious why as a therapist I was interested in religion and spirituality.  I explained that it is important for me to know and acknowledge any person who comes to me, including their belief systems.  Religion and Spirituality is a part of their being.  How can I work with a person of the Muslim religion, a Jew or a Christian if I discard that part of them as nonsense or superstition?   I do not have to believe the same thing, nor believe in anything but I should believe in the person who comes to me and I do.  I need to understand what their religion is.  I need to understand what their spirituality is.  I need to understand the entire person.  We are all affected by everything we are exposed to and that includes our belief system and how we understand it.  

       As I come in contact with the religious, of the different dominations, I am always surprised when I see arrogance.  Recently, I was informed that Jesus did not go to the people, but the people went to him.  All that came to mind as she was dictating was, “go yeah among the people.”   So, this morning I was thinking about how people seeking to find God in a world that they do not understand are often mislead.  Jesus was always going out to the people.   Yes people came to him as well, wherever he was.  

       In school we were once asked to read for homework aloud either Mathew, Mark, Luke or John.  We were assigned but I cannot remember which.  I do remember when reading aloud how Jesus was often angry at the religious leaders, who thought they knew so much.  Jesus was among the poor, the prostitutes and those considered unimportant.  If we recognized Jesus today living among us, what do we think, he would think?    

      I remember a physician once asking me quite sarcastically what Jesus would do, in a situation that was being discussed?   I answered that I was not Jesus and therefore would not know what he would do.  This physician was so surprised that he kept pacing back and forth after leaving the office and looking at me.  I wanted to speak to him about that, but I was still in a meeting and once I left, I did not see him again.  However, my statement made an impact on him even though I do not know why.

     When people tell me why they hate a certain religion, I ask why and though very surprised at the beginning of studies, I am no longer as surprised.  Yet when the Minister was telling me that I was wrong that people went out to the people, I remember one of my professors commenting, “If you want to know the bible, ask a Protestant, because they know their bible.”  I am looking forward to seeing him again.  I need an explanation.  Have I got it all wrong?  Was Jesus planted somewhere and all the people went to him at all times?  Can I possibly know more than a Minister who is supposed to know all this stuff?  Me, a layperson?    I never profess to know it all.  I actually believe that I know nothing.  There is so much to learn that I would have to live many life times to learn a fraction of what there is to learn.  What I have learned in studying the different religions is that sometimes I see this aura of arrogance in people who in my opinion should be there to help others and not condemned them.  We are not a melting pot with one religion.  We should be respecting all religions.  There are extremists that distort and make religion something to fear by acts of hatred.  There is no religion that professes hate.  In my opinion what people of all religions and their leadership should be  doing is trying to help people who come to them and they too should make an effort to reach out to others as Jesus did.  Kindness goes a long way.

      People should also see a Counsellor that they feel comfortable to see, may it be a woman, man or religious.  It is their choice.  It is no surprise to me that many cannot believe in God.  It is a surprise to me that some who do believe in God have the audacity to think that those who can not, make the believers superior.  You can have an atheist who is more concerned and considerate of others, than a religious person who gossips and is cruel to others.  

      All these thoughts came to me because one kind man beamed when he spoke to me of being Hindu and telling me about his faith.  This was a wonderful moment and quite contrary to listening to a minister telling me her views in such a condescending way.       

                 

Respect for American Vietnam Vets. Canada how about respect for our own?

     I was sent this video from a retiree who has forwarded it from within.  I am tired of hearing people constantly telling me at functions and reviews, their disdain for the military.  I have heard it in undergrad.  I have heard it in grad.  I have heard it in internships and I recently heard it one week ago.  I am never quite sure if it is directed as an insult or not.  At times there is no doubt.

     The person who sent me this email, reflected that a Canadian retiree accompanied two American veterans south of the border.  What he deduced was that the American Veteran Affairs treated their veterans with respect.

     As I read the email, I contemplated the insults that our veterans receive.  Their veteran affairs offices are closing up, they are turned away from Sunnybrook Hospital Veteran Ward, unless they have been in a world war (really?).  They return from war physically and emotionally hurt but they do not get the treatment they deserve unless they return dead. That is a lot cheaper. 

      Imagine a country with no soldiers, no police; no authority of control.  What would happen then?  
      
      I can understand people not liking something or other. However, how about a little bit of manners?  I know that "manners" is not taught in the education system.  Perhaps it should begin? How about looking beyond ourselves? 

      I am very motivated to begin group therapy for veterans.  I want to offer a space where veterans can share their experiences and their readaption to a society that may not have the tools, or insight, to be able to help them.

      One veteran who kills him or herself, is one veteran too many.  There is no shame in getting the help you need.  Integrating back into civilian society can be difficult.  Help is there. 

   

       
        
     












*http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=LemllfcAY8A&sns=em
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ER Physician wants his dog back. Help him get his Shih tzu back. City Pulse and CTV news tell story…..

     I tape the news and watch it daily.  I switched from City Pulse when they moved locations. I thought that the news was too focused, on their move.  I switched to CTV News.  Recently however, I have been taping both.  I like the human interest stories that City Pulse provides and I like the Consumer reports that CTV provides.
     Last night my heart went out to the news of an Emergency Room doctor, who came back from a holiday, to find his little dog missing from the care facility he had been placed at.  I think that would be a nightmare for many pet owners.  I myself have not taken a holiday because my pets do not like people.  They are rescue animals and know how mean people can be.  One, however is becoming more bold in her mannerism. Not knowing anything but love for quite a few years she is getting more curious at receiving kindness from others.  They are a priority in my decisions.  I have accepted them as my responsibility for their life time.
   

    I  provide treats for the area dogs who come to visity me and a Shih Tzu is one of my favorites.  I also had a family member own a Shih Tzu and he broke everyone's heart when he had to be put down at the recommendation of the vet.  We can tell a lot of the owner about how well an animal is taken care of.
   Abuse of animals should be taken very seriously because they are so helpless and violence and atrocity against animals expand to people eventually.  That is why I have a special place in my heart for children and animals because they are innocent and vulnerable.

    The news revealed that people as far as the States are tormenting this physician who is trying so desparately to get his dog back.  They are phoning him and telling him horrible things that I shall not repeat because I am aware of copy cats too well.  I admire this physician whose ultimate goal is to reunite with his dog.  Here is a man whose job it is to save lives.  If I had to have a life and death situation to save me, I would want him to be my doctor because that same devotion and determination he has to get his dog back is probably the same intensity that saves lives.

    I think it is sad that people can be so heartless to someone who wants his dog back.  I hope he is returned.  I hope that the dog was taken in by someone who saw him in the streets and adopted him as I adopted mine.  The only difference is that mine did not have anyone who loved them or cared for them.  
Do what I have always done.  Ensure that the animal does not belong to anyone.  Losing a pet is painful at the best of times.  Trying to find your pet and getting horrible calls is another.  Toronto why not look around you today and see if you can find this adoreable Shih Tzu who belongs with his ER doctor who loves him and needs him so he can get back to saving your life.

Tribute to my Postmana as promised (Published)

TRIBUTE TO MY POSTMAN

It was the Christmas season and the previous year I had left a gift for my postman on a decrepit old chair, inside my small porch. When the day had passed and I received my mail, I noticed that my small gift remained though the card that said “for my postman” was gone.
Not disheartened, I left the small gift there for a week where it remained.
The following week, I replaced the small gift with another. I left a note, “For my post man.” Again, the gift remained, though my mail was delivered promptly each day.
I did not give up and on the third week after placing a bigger gift on the tired chair, I came home and was excited that the gift was gone. My mail waited eagerly for me. I marveled that finally my post man was pleased with a gift that I had left. You see they were all wrapped so that the interior could be seen.
A year has gone by and Christmas is creeping up. It has not snowed and I am weighed down with school work so I am not in the holiday spirit. But I have not forgotten my postman so once again I left a small gift for him with a card and placed the card and the small gift on the same decrepit old chair. Only this time I placed the chair directly in front of my door which he would have to move or lean over to put the mail through my letter opening, on the old door of my old home. I then promptly focused on my exam question and forgot my mail and mail man.
I heard a loud knock at my front door. I climbed down the tired stairs and rushed to the front door opening it. There stood my postman, all rosy from the cold. He looked at me and I thought he would cry. He must have hated my gift, I thought. Instead he looked at me solemnly and thanked me. “You have no idea how much this means to me. Even a card makes me very happy. Thank you so much.”
I looked at him in surprise and thanked him. Like a fool I babbled about last year leaving different gifts which I thought he had dismissed because he did not like them. He assured me that he appreciates any gift or card but since he moves quickly when he delivers the mail he may have missed his gifts. He kept thanking me for his small gift and I felt dumbfounded.
You see my postman delivers the mail into the letter opening of my door at all times. He does not save time doing this for he could easily just leave it on the decrepit old chair in my small porch.
I have watched my postman walk or run in the rain during intense suffocating heat, during storms and with snow so deep it makes one wonder how he does his job at all. Yet, my postman always has a friendly smile and shouts out a greeting whenever he sees me outside.


So you see, though I left him gifts, outside my door which I thought he did not want, I kept replacing them because he more than deserves a gift that he wants.
And when my post man was so appreciative with my small gift yesterday it was I who fought tears as I shut the door.

I am now a Pastoral Counselling Specialist as well

     Another qualification!  Now I just have to wait for the college of psychotherapy to be set up and running and this is it. I do not normally write in my blog on Sundays.  However, these five years of post graduation work and internships is finally over.

 

     Where do you find yourself now in your life?  Where do you want to be in five years?
What are your options?  What do you need to do to get you there?  What is important in your life right now?  What kind of obligations do you have?  Is your life balanced?  Who are you and what do you really, really want?  Why are you not doing it?  What do you think?

Finished writing my second book today

     What a day!  What a week!  I have finally finished my second book.  This one is a handful.  My friend Chris has agreed to edit it.  I am so pleased.  His degree is in creative writing and I think he is a much better writer than I could ever be.  He and I were in the same creative writing class when I was taking a break from psychology.   He could bring pastries and smells to life.  Yes sireeeee.
     
     This cold, storm, and power failure has provided me with an unexpectant holiday.  It gave me the opportunity to write and to study.  Saturday I shall have my oral.  I hope my car makes it.

      I owe you one poem about the postman and I owe Chris a reposting of a paper on evolution.  I shall post one each week.  As soon as I get a breather I will continue my third book.  I have one chapter done.  That will be fun to write.  That will be definitely fiction.  No confusion there.  In the meantime I will try to wrap up with everything that is happening.

      Over 100 books of "Hey Guy Buy Me"  has gone missing so if you see a copy being sold aside from where I have indicated they should be selling from please let me know.   The price is 9.95 and I have never reduced the price.  Should you want a copy, send a cheque to my office and I will mail you a signed copy anywhere in the world for free.  Postage has gone up 40% so that is a deal.  I haven't been to the post office since the power failure and hope that what I heard is inaccurate.  I am still annoyed that they want to lay off so many posties.   They work so hard and deserve much more respect.  The posties were still working in this freeze.  Even the airport knew that their employees should not be working out in the cold and they were protected.

      Anyhow, I am looking forward to another exciting year.

Happy new year!!!!!!!!!!
 

New Years Resolution

     The beginning of the year is full of promises and opportunities.  We can discard the previous year and become more motivated for change.  Mine this year is quite simple.  Have more fun.  Work smart and not hard as my favourite grad professor, Ovi Mohammed likes to say.  Of course I felt that being his student was working more hard than smart in my case.
     The power failure we had in Toronto made me aware of how much I do have in my life.  I do not starve, I have a home and I have love.  What more can one ask for?  How many of us want a bigger house, a bigger car, a bigger lifestyle?  How many of us want to reach out to the sky?  Is there anything wrong with that?  I say no, unless it consumes to the point of no return to common good.  Why not spend some time reflecting how last year has been for you?  Were you happy, sad, inspired, devestated?  What motivates you?  What does not?  Are you happy in your present situation?  What can you do to start changing this year to make your life a bit better, more peaceful, more rewarding?  Sometimes one small step is all that is needed, before you take the next small step.  Why not draw up a list and take a look at the good things in your life.  Do you have enough to eat?  Do you have enough to drink?  Is there anything you can do to make your life healthier?  What is it that you can change this year?  Take a look at the mirror.  Do you like what you see?  Why or why not?

     Take a look at your partner.  What can you do, to enhance your relationship?  What can you do to ignite lost passion?  What can you do for your partner?  What do you get back from your partner?  Is there a balance in the relationship?  Why not?  What can you do about that?

     Life is a precious moment!  What can you do this year to recognize that?  I wish you a happy new year.  I wish you a peaceful New Year.  I wish…………………………