Loneliness (AAMFT Conference 2023) USA

 

22% of Adults report feeling lonely and isolated most if not all the time.  47% of people report having no meaningful relationship in their lives.

Challenges and Barriers

Money -  17 % of adults declared bankruptcy or lost their home as a result of heath care costs.

33 % stopped therapy soley because of cost.  38% of adults or family member did not seek health care because of cost.  Insurance pays 14% less while making billions.  350 individuals looking for therapy for every one mental health clinician.  Where do we go from here?  How Marriage and Family Therapists shape the future.  The kids are not ok and neither are the adults.  Mental health disorders have been on the rise since 2020.  

Mood Disorders -  21% of adults have a mental health condition.  Second leading cause of deaths for children 10-14 years of age is suicide.  31% are adults between 18-25.  One of eight emergency room visits are mental health related.  Loneliness is a global health crises.  

Loneliness, loss of connections and its impact on Mental Health -  39% more are getting some type of MH  in 2022 vs. 2019.  Innovative new way to take therapy to the people.  Relationships matter.   Intergenerational trauma and the impact of parental/family of origin has made its way to mainstream.  Harvard “happiness” study makes another resurgence to the popular media.  Tuning inward, tending to the healers.  Prioritizing our wellness as a model of sustainable care.  52% of therapists reported feeling burnout this year.  Self care is not enough.  Cultivating self - compassion - mindful awareness, self kindness, common humanity.  Shortage of professionals - financial challenges with payers- a challenge and often inequitable road and licensure.

-inadequate support systems for clinicians and students (for professors).  Systemic oppression and bio permeates all our professional layers.  Health disparities show up in every aspect of treatment.   How do you cover for something that never ends?  Representation doesn’t exist for most.  Things are changing.  Therapy speech is everywhere.  Mental Health disorders and relationships are being openly discussed by celebrities and the general public; social media.  

We need more professionals.  There will be graduating MFT’s but will not practice because they are already burnt out.

     When I decided to retire in December 2025 it was after asking the College Regulator questions and having different people answering differently.  Needless to say I was frustrated.  The college decided to provide tests, to all every five years on top of all the required extra education.  With all the intensive education we have had,  I began to lose respect for the College (Moral Injury).  Even though I believe that the public needs to be protected, that alone should be their job.  They imposed more work upon themselves therefore requiring more people thus some not really knowing what they were doing from my perspective.  They were also insulting and condescending inspecting files and when handwritten calling it chicken writing or something to that effect and letting us all know that.  I found that disrespectful to the therapists out there.  Days before I retired I was informed at a group event that the college stated no one retires from psychotherapy.  So, when I decided to retire, I was informed that retirement is not acknowledged and won’t be in the future or words to that effect and that my title would be that I resigned.  Really?  My advice from mentors in the past was to stay under the radar and why which I won’t share.  Now I have the time to study the Toronto Housing Market to make the right decision of when to sell without worrying about accommodating clients or the high cost of Registration, Insurance and courses.  That is all for now.  I shall continue to provide my notes to you until I am all done and then just focus on Writing Corner.  This weekend I will be selling my books at Motive in Toronto and will provide you with at least one more blog about that event.  I do hope that if you are in Toronto you will visit me.  Take care fo now.  Always feel free to ask a question.

Time is flying - thoughts of the week

 I just want to wish you a great weekend and be careful if you fly.  I don't and should be safe on our railroads.  Of course now that there has been an investigation at the airport perhaps those in power will listen to experts in the field - Police.   This is the same place where the gold went missing.  What are the hiring practices and why when they are flagged are they allowed to be employed?  Who hires these criminals and what are their connections/qualifications?   I also have seen absurd results from people not qualified trying to ascertain if people are guilty or not enough to bring to trial.  Well, that is why we have a democtratic society where we can vote people in and out.  If some feel they are too imprtant to explain themselves, there may be an adjustment period to find someone more responsible.  I am curious if people who have been victimized and are innocent are going to sue.  Money talks.

     I am amazed at how quickly time flies.  I am still slowly updating and de-cluttering and upgrading.  Well not really upgrading.  I am getting there.  What I don't need, is going to the front of my lawn for others to take.   I am thinking about erecting a sign on my lawn about my books.   I can but there are so many rules about that and again there are security concerns.  I have ordered business cards for my books which if I get in time will be handing out at Motive.  I love summer and during the writer's conference, I mentioned to someone that maybe I should consider going South for the winters.  I mentioned I love Disney World.  The writer gasped, "They're all replublicans in Florida."  My response was that I didn't really care about the politics,  I just wanted sun and Disney.  She replied that they had crocodiles.  Now that I am concerned about.  Well, for now I shall stay put.  There is a lot of excitement in my city.  My neighbourhood has become a tad more quiet with the construction.   I have debated placing the house back on the market but I am losing the debate.  It is still a poor market for sellers.   Buyers if you don't buy now you will miss that chance.  People want a house but don't want to pay high prices.  Sellers sell when they have to.  Do I have to?  Nada, but I would like to.  Bring me an offer or disappear is what I kindly tell the vultures.  So,  I want to plant some flowers, trim some trees, go to the gym.  Oh yes the gym.  I was there the other day and an older man approached me when I was on the bicycle.   His wife (I think she is) told me not to be afraid, that he was sick.  I noticed he had a heavy weight in one hand hanging firmly.  Don't be afraid?  I have to admit I kept a close eye on him, especially when he went behind me.  I could just see it.  "Toronto woman died after being attacked by forceful blunt injury to her head with a gym training weight.  The woman was cycling and trying to read the Centurians when another gym member cautiously approached her and raised the weight, slamming and forcing her head open.  There was no one else in the city gym at the time aside from his devoted wife.  Silva Redigonda was known for her charm in the community and enjoyed writing books for fun.  She shall be missed.  The assailant has not been charged due to mental related health issues.  His wife is devestated."

That's all for now world.  Good talk.  We shall start with psychology notes next week.  June is a busy month, but I always have time for you.

     

Corruption or Incompetence at Transport Canada - You choose

 

Writer's Corner

 

     I am on my backyard deck listening to the sounds of my city.  There is the roar of construction by the City and by contractors rebuilding houses to fit multiple units.  I think back to my cruise and the peacefulness of nature.  It is no wonder that it has been difficult to concentrate with writing.  I hear the warning sounds of vehicles moving backwards and nature has been blocked out.  I hear no birds.  Last night I had the same agent as last year try to come to my backyard but my beautiful friend began barking and off he went.   This time he left two cards with the same message.   I have important news from him.   I sent him an email this morning and spoke of trespassing and unethical behaviour the real estate board may be interested in and he has backed off.  It’s unfortunate that at times we have to threaten the law and regulators to keep what used to be a profession honest.  I still mourn the loss of my two paintings which disappeared with the staging.  

      Even though I haven’t done much writing, I renewed my gym registration where I pedal and read at the same time.  I debated joining another club to swim, but I don’t want to deal with parking.

     I have been doing a lot of thinking about the book I am writing at leisure and all I have to do.  You know what?  I don’t have to do anything on a schedule.   I can think all I want.  Since the conference and listening to everyone and attending webinars etc…..I have an image of half man and half computer spitting out volumes of books.  There are so many tips on how to write, but I know how to write.   I don’t know business except for all the cons out there and there are many.  I had one person claiming to be a policeman reach out on facebook saying he wanted to be friends.   Normally unless I meet the person, I reject them as friends.  Most are people I have worked with around the world.  But, this particular person claimed to be a police officer and writer and I suspect he is neither.  I told him I would check him out first.  He asked how I would do that and so strike, he is not police.   He sent me a chapter of his book which he was selling on Amazon and there is no way this person could write what he sent me.  He was selling a book, I am sure  completely generated by IA.  He never reached out to me again because he knew that I knew exactly what he is.  There are too many books out there now being sold and it is not by the person claiming to be an author.  At the conference a lot was about selling your books and maximizing your profits.   I am not good at that because I have always been in the service of others.  I am slow in that department because my focus is on writing stories.  There are about 6000 new books published each day and some are just awful.  I was thinking about my own writing and found myself telling someone that when I write it is like someone cooking who has done so for years.   I know the basics as I have been writing since I was a child.  You know what I mean all that stuff about nouns, verbs, structure, plot etc…..My passion for literature was a hobby an escape from the seriousness of other courses.  I loved creating stories and creative writing.  So,  I explained myself as similar to a home cook who knows what ingredients to use and sprinkle without the use of a cook book, one who uses a dash of this and an experimental test of that and manages a delicious dish.  This is what I do.  I use all of me to create a story which I may alter at any point or go into another direction or add a new character and there, I have my own master dish.   How do I get it out there?  I’ll let you know.

Theology Notes continues

 The Davidic Covenant (Interculteration of Sinai Desert > City

1. Rise and Fall of Saul (Islam 8-15)  
2. Rise of David (Johnathon) (16-23)
3. Jerusalem and David Covenant (Johnathon 25, 6-7) 

     Incalteration -  God of Moses and God of Sinai Covenant - semi nomadic life.  Covenant is one that is moveable.  It is on the move.  You cannot pin this down on God.  Whole institution of food gathering.  Is the God of the desert, who can intervene in history?  Is this God also the God of creation, this God who lead us out of Egypt, who helped us survive the desert, also the God of civilization.  Our God is also one who brings us into tension.  My last week’s question:  How can God demand life of sin?  To appreciate it, see how it can be used in other text- Principal.  Never read a text simply on its own.  Read other texts.  We can look at the text in the political view but it can be read in another.

to be continued with  In the Shadow of your Wings.

    

My Vacation - Trying to get there

 Well, I finally took my long necessary holiday.  So, this too shall be part of my blog.  It was expensive for a four night cruise including train fair (business) at $4000.00 from Toronto, or was it?  I thought that the taxi to and from the cruise was included but no it wasn’t and that was infuriating.  In Toronto people really try to please you and that did not happen, not even under the threat that I would not recommend the trip, nor take it ever again.  So here goes - my relaxing trip.

I had ordered the taxi from Beck (Beck is a long standing taxi company in Toronto and they are managed well by a woman married to a fire fighter.  That is all I take in Toronto and I recommend them).  The trip from my home to the station cost about $25.00 and I added a tip.  Once I boarded the train, I was on my own with the suitcase which I may refer as my brief case.  It is a Walmart, Air Canada special which usually suits me fine when I go anywhere by car.  However,  when I packed,  I had to be careful since it filled up fairly fast.  I only had room for one jacket, one set of spring clothes and the rest of the trip for hot weather.  My carry on cotton gym bag which I bought in Kenya, carried a thick Stephen King book which I never opened.  I left Toronto as it was going to warm up and entered Kingston knowing there would be a cool down.  My suitcase was too small to keep it where I usually do - in the luggage compartment.  I was informed by the female worker, that I had to keep it in the overhead compartment which for some reason, I couldn’t lift that high.  The female worker informed the passengers that they could not place the suitcases overhead for us because imagine their backs at the end of the day.  Well, my solution would be to make more baggage compartments - this is first class?  However, when I asked the male Via worker, there was no hesitation.  Thank you.  

     I don’t drink because of the sugar in it and my pharmacist taking a hissy fit if I do.  All I had was about three spoon full of wine at Christmas and that was enough to have him take a flip.  All free on the train and at meal times on the cruise, so they are making a deal on me.  The food was fine on the train.  I had a delightful elderly man from Montreal sitting beside me.  His mission to Toronto is top secret but I did find out that it was three times a year.  He was well dressed and looked like a professor, but in my experience professors love to talk.  He did not.  I focused on my coffee and the scenery and before I knew it, I was in Kingston (my shortest trip ever by VIA rail).  Now I had a new problem.  The elderly man’s tray had not been cleared and I was trying to leave the train.  He was taking his time, while I remarked that I did not want to end up in Montreal.  People were now boarding the train and when I finally manoeuvred around him (I had the window seat and I also had my seat changed for some reason) - no big deal.  I asked a tall handsome man if he could take my suitcase down for fear of dropping it on the elderly man’s head.  He provided a wonderful smile which lit up his face as well as mine, and gallantly performed the task for me.  At this point there were many people coming through and they suggested I go the other direction.  Since I had no choice, I did so to find out that there was no way out.  I returned when it cleared and looked at the VIA workers.  When I saw panic in their eyes,  I felt doomed.  I was going to Montreal and would miss my cruise.  They began talking on the walkie talkie while the female employee told me how sorry she was.  The male on the walkie talkie explained to her that I had been blocked from exiting.   To be continued.....

The Violence Project - notes continues

The reason  shooters leak information is because they want an intervention.

Insiders -  Physical security alone is not enough.

*****In crises - know the signs; crises intervention.  Suicidal:  Suicidal prevention, not punishment.  Leakage :  Reporting systems, relationships.  People get fired and come back to shoot as well as school suspensions.

Off ramp -  Resources of promoting on how to promote safety with one another.

FIRE ARMS:  The elephant in the room.  Second Constitution.  80% of shooters were getting them from family, home, friends and gifts.   If security/storage of firearms, then the shootings could have been prevented.  In the USA, there are 50,000 deaths a year.  A small portion are the shooters.

Violence is scripted in our (US) culture.  Mass shooters, study other mass shooters.  They get radicalized on line.  There is opportunity.

One who was bullied said, “I was almost a school shooter.  When you literally have nothing to lose, you can do anything and that thought is absolutely terrifying.”  One school mate invited him to his house and gave him pie.  No longer did he want to kill his classmates.

 

Question:  Why more prevalent in USA than other countries?  Longing for connection (Depths of despair), suicidal, alcohol/drugs.  The major contributor is able to get fire arms, but not only.

25% of shooters have a hallucination or delusion.  People with no power, wanting power.  There was a recent study of the military (US) 1/4 of mass shooters, 50 out of 200 have a military background and about 15 out of 50 had proficiency in marksman.  Must not stigmatize.  Transition of military to civilian life is a very difficulty transition.  In many cases, one is discharged from service because of mental illness or other problems.  There is a lack of resources for mental health care and not enough beds.  They need someone to check on them.  In one case, a caretaker who connected with a student prevented a shooting.  Even though they have a duty to report - key is what is going on afterwards.  Concluded.

     When we here in Toronto had a massive summer shooting downtown, I remember at a later conference that this particular shooter had problems with women, since they were not attracted to him.  The hospital here in Toronto received notes from the USA hospital where they had many patients who had died or were injured.  This meant so much for us in Toronto.  It is important that we recognize how this impacts everyone and how everyone involved needs support.  We need to support each other as neighbours during these tragedies.