I was invited to a one day retreat, which I could probably use but once I read the email, I deleted the invitation. The woman whom was going to lead the retreat had graduated before me so I don’t think I know her. She had a certificate of spiritual direction which I only needed a few courses myself and didn’t bother because the money wasn’t worth it - My bad.
She has worked many years with special needs and I am not sure what that has to do with directing a retreat, but what turned me off and made the decision not to go? She was blessed by the Bishops for being a virgin for 50 years. What????? Too much information and an immediate “delete.” I had no recollection of this in any of my readings nor education so I googled it.
From Vatican News
“Church reproposes Order of Virgins 50 years after its restoration
The Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life releases the Instruction Ecclesiae Sponsae imago in view of the 50th anniversary of the revival of the ancient Order of Virgins.
By Sr Bernadette Mary Reis, fsp
In 2020 it will be 50 years since Pope Paul VI revived the ancient Order of Virgins. Consecrated virgins now number approximately 5,000 and live in every part of the world. The Prefect for the Dicastery for Consecrated Life, Cardinal João Braz de Aviz, says that the new Instruction Ecclesiae Sponsae imago is the first Document to address the make-up and discipline of this form of consecration. It is also a response to the interest shown in this revived vocation. It focuses specifically on its place in the Church’s life, and the necessary discernment and formation required, he says.
History
Presenting the document, Archbishop José Rodríguez Carballo, Secretary of the Dicastery, summarized the history of the Order of Virgins. The Order developed from the Gospel witness of women who gave up everything in order to follow the Lord. It so rooted itself in the fabric of the Church that it was eventually given the name Order, analogous with those of bishops, priests, deacons and widows. Eventually it was absorbed into monasticism in the middle ages.
Pope Paul VI restored the Order of Virgins in 1970, giving back to the Church a form of life which offers her a reflection of her own nature as Spouse of Christ. Archbishop Carballo said that Bishops, consecrated virgins and experts collaborated on Ecclesiae Sponsae imago. Each “offered their own contribution in order to highlight the peculiarity and richness of this form of consecrated life”, he said.
What is the Order of Virgins?
The first part of the document explores the vocation and witness of the Order of Virgins. It explains that the vocation is primarily Marian; one that embraces a chaste, poor, and obedient life as well as prayer, penance, and the works of mercy. A distinguishing factor is that “the charism to virginity is harmonized with the charism proper to each consecrated woman…with creative freedom”, Archbishop Carballo said.
How is the Order of Virgins organized?
Ecclesiae Sponsae imago explains in the second part that consecrated virgins, living singly or in their families or other groups, are organized at the diocesan level under the Bishop. Archbishop Carballo said that, as a “daughter of a particular Church, each consecrated woman shares its history…, contributes to its edification and participates in its mission with her own gifts”. Thus, the call to live a solitary life leads the consecrated woman to a life of profound communion.
How does a woman become a consecrated virgin?
Archbishop Carballo said the third part explains the discernment and formation aspects of the Order of Virgins. Here the participation of the Bishop is underlined in all of the stages, before and after a woman is consecrated.
50th anniversary of the Order of Virgins
With the 50th anniversary of the restoration of the Order of Virgins in 2020, Archbishop Carballo said that he hopes that reproposing this ancient form of consecration might demonstrate its value as “a truly attractive and demanding way of holiness”. In addition, Cardinal de Aviz hopes that the anniversary will bring consecrated virgins from all over the world to Rome for an international meeting “to celebrate the anniversary of the Rite with Peter”.”
In another article I read that this was wanted to be returned due to requests. Huh, huh? By whom? How was this resurrected? Let me guess, men? After all, Bishops are all men.
Why did this irk me? I have spent a life time listening to both men and women tell me about how they were raped as adults and children, how at times when they were being sexually assaulted they were asked by Priests in confession (which they are not to as per my understanding) if they had sex and they would say yes. Nothing else was asked, but they were made to feel guilty. Yet it would be their fathers and his friends who were so devoted in church. You see one of the indicators of pedophiles is being very devout in Church. In the same article, it was stipulated that a person could not ever have been married to qualify. So how is some one’s virginity determined? You take their word for it? Is there a physical examination for women? If they are religious, do they feel obligated to have this special blessing due to shame? Then do they feel even more guilty for lying? Do they confess that? I don’t care about a person’s sexuality. Why? Because it is none of my business, unless rape and abuse exists. I couldn’t go to this retreat, because you know the expression, “Know thyself?” Yup, I do. This is why I have to live in a democratic society because I believe in freedom to speak my mind. Do you know that after all my years of services to the public and hearing all the stories of guilt and sexual abuse, not one of the people I dealt with would lay a complaint to go after the accused. You have to just hear what goes on at trials, to know why. And there is always the associated guilt and life long trauma. And, if there is a therapist reading this blog, understand this. You must explain to adults who were molested as children why it was not their fault. Telling them that it wasn’t, is not enough. Too many think that because they felt pleasure, it was their fault. They need to know that humans are sexual beings and that pleasure is included which is exactly what these pedophiles know and use for their distorted and twisted vocation. I think systematically. I have been trained to do so. We need to see the entire picture and to be made aware of our own biases. I never thought I could feel sorry for a pedophile, until I saw the pain in one’s face. It was distorted in agony. There is so much that needs to be revised in our society world wide. One is this obsession of virginity, where women are usually under the power of men. Think, is it not horrible that women are circumcised so that they do not feel pleasure and that no man in their culture will (supposedly) not marry them if they do no endure this. Think, is it not horrible that women will hold their female children down so this primitive custom can be performed? Some things are best left in the middle ages and if they are permitted or returned for whatever reason, do not use it as any kind of qualification for a retreat, because I don’t want to know that the person leading me is a virgin. Why? Because I don’t care, and I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut. And sometimes, we should.
