Another segment about Suicide. notes.

When Child Dies by suicide or accident, pain does not fully heal (as told by parents)

Victim is also the perpetrator - miss you and angry with you.

An individual set himself on fire in his backyard.  His parents witnessed it as well as his children.  Emotions - anger - to love - to anger - to love.  This person is the victim of the event and perpetrator and that is the difference.  There is guilt, shame, helplessness.  Shame - what does it say about me?  How do I deal with you not in my life.  How do I counsel the children?  Was I an inadequate in life?  

Do they talk about it?  No and that is why therapy is required.  Explore that guilt.  If I can blame myself, I’m not powerless.  We look for reasons and sometimes blame counsellors.  Suicide is a choice made by the individual and usually thought about for a long time, usually leading to distorted thoughts.  Usually, a therapist will ask - Why didn’t they tell me?  A PHD therapist stated, “I would have stopped him.”  She had suffered for about a year wondering why.  If an individual knows you will stop him, he loses his choice.  Some therapist will leave the profession.  There is a limit anyone can do to prevent suicide.  If I interpret and stop you to prevent suicide -  a heavy burden if I think I could have stopped this and didn’t.  One person saw a psychiatrist, a social worker and a therapist all in two weeks and committed suicide.  How does it affect others?  Maybe I should join them?  As a clinician you can teach to cope, but you cannot do it alone.  Give permission and self care (recharging batteries).  Address guilt and shame.  Teach to identify and name emotions.  Name it and take it.  1 to 10, How sad do you feel?  If they say 10, try to bring it down to 5.  Teach mindfulness, to increase non-judgemental self - awareness.  This can help clients catch it early before they go into crises.  Cognitive Behaviour Therapy - Identify situations/thoughts that trigger me and may increase my feelings of sadness and or despair.  Address guilt/shame.   

To be continued.  Have a good weekend.

 

silvaredigonda.myshopify.com

      

Have you read my book?  What are you waiting for?  You will find it on print and e-format.

Any problems - let me know.  Feel free to tell me what you think of it.  I am surprisingly asked at fairs if my books are any good.  Since, I am no long stunned by the question,  I have decided on a fair answer.   Thank you for asking such a good question.  I have written the worse book I could think of.  Please let me know if it has met your standard.

My Welcoming Mat - B & E's have increased in my area and they are becoming more violent

 I attended an informative In person meeting with the Senior Toronto Police from our Division last night.  In some areas crime has increased and in others a slight decrease.  What gained my attention is the increase of Break and Enters into our homes which is becoming more violent.  Should I or shouldn't I?  I have cameras,  alarm system and now my latest welcoming mat.  Good talk.  Houses are being sold at a low time low -  Niagara,  I have not forgotten you.  Wait for me for the right timing.

China, China, China I am quite aware you are a Communist Country - We must protect our Asian community and keep you out of our political realm

 

Writer's Corner and what am I up to.

 

     I think you know by now that I write about psychotherapy, theology and writer’s corner.   I also like to post anything of interest especially if it affects people.  Then again I may write just about anything.   I am taking a hiatus, as I recharge and decide what I want to be doing.  My focus will be spending more time selling my books and also if that is what I want to be doing.

I believe there are 6000 new books published each day and trying to stand out can be difficult.  I also lack patience and so navigating everything is not a problem but waiting is not my forte.  I do have more time to attend webinars and tonight I plan to attend another Toronto Sister’s In Crime.  That is what I recommend writers to do -  join an association.  I want to explore more venues where I can sign and sell books and I also want to have more time to read and attend fun things.  I am playful by nature and that is not always acceptable, but I have obviously held professional positions where caring for people and their safety was always paramount.  Being playful and having a sense of humour in my opinion is very beneficial.  We need balance and we need to appreciate nature.   I am sometimes asked at book fairs if I have done any research on my books and I usually say no.  Then the person grins and walks away.  But what I have thought about is usually when someone asks me that, they don’t really know what research entails.  When I attend writing webinars as an author, there are many professionals who speak about their work experiences so it many benefit  our writing.  I have attended a few of them though I haven’t used any in my books.  I have been writing stories since I was a child.  I always wrote for fun and it was a seventh grade substitute teacher who in front of the entire class called me a cheater and declared that there was no possibility I could have written my short story, he had asked the class to write.  In front of the entire class,  I responded that I did indeed write the story and that he should ask my mother because I wrote it on the kitchen table where she was usually cooking or baking and telling me how wonderful my writing was.  She was always my biggest cheerleader.  That English teacher, I recall to this day.  He had lots of red hair, red freckles and a red face.  He was tall, medium built and I don’t believe he ever smiled.  He had this stern look on his face and his lips were always pursed shut and it appeared that a crow bar would be required to open that mouth.  When he did, it was never pleasant.   I think that the first day he entered our class (our class was brutal to substitute teachers) he stopped in front of a youth who was almost as tall as him, he removed  his gloves and slapped both sides of the boy's face with his gloves.  I never did like teachers and why would I when they behaved like that?  That is the creature who told me that I did not write my stories, that I could not.  These people should never teach children.  In those days teachers didn’t require the same level of education as they do now and that is a good thing.

With the book I am writing now it will have the same idea of murders.  I like killing people (it’s fun) JUST JOKING PEOPLE. I ONLY KILL PEOPLE IN MY BOOKS AND I DO NOT HAVE FUN.  DO I?  I'll have to think about that.  My sibling gave me a coffee cup at Christmas which shouts out to be careful or they will be in my next book.  I just may do that.  This time the protagonist is not a police person but a psychotherapist and so that should make my three fans happy.  In one Sister’s of Crime webinar we were told to think of our readers when advertising.  I don’t actually advertise except for what I am doing here.  I post on my blog, facebook, Twitter X, and Linked In.  Feel free to follow me on Facebook, but I don’t accept “friends” for security reasons.  On Linkedin  I accept everyone and have to start from scratch on my site.  In this blog, I place everything and then I decide where else to share it.  I want to examine how to expand in social media without spending the money.  I have two web sites right now and have to decide which one I will be giving up.  I have Go Daddy (American) and Shopify (Canadian) but prefer Go Daddy.  Shopify charges me in American dollars and are expensive. Go Daddy charges me in Canadian.   I have to think about this and perhaps explore other sites as I am now placing myself on a budget.  With one writers event, the author was making 60,000 a year but spending thirty thousand.  Me don’t want to do that.  Nope, no sireeeeee.  Going back to my readers -  I am supposed to think about them when I advertise.  Well,  I do have many people reading my blogs, from all over the world.  Thank you.   I can see the blogs that are read, and the amount of people from each country but it isn’t specific.  That’s ok.  During the webinar, we were told to price our books.  Mine are priced.  We were also informed that the cover is important and should be reflective of what is inside.  I think mine are ok.  Hey Guy Buy Me is still my best seller.  Both men and women like it, but I now sell it mostly for 5.00 at events and if people buy all my books, I throw it in for fun.  The Internet Murders with the City of Toronto picture on the cover is a given.  For Love of Country Military Policewoman - yup.  Ok.  Ominous - my favourite.  Well, you tell me.  I usually have my readers return to me and give me their opinions.  Some men have really gotten rabid mad, reading Hey Guy Buy Me and I tell the women, if they get mad, perhaps it is time to drop them.  Other men, who are secure with themselves, love it.    We were told at the webinar that the cover must look like the genre -  titles can confuse readers.  We should have the correct title and series name and proper covers.  

     That is all for this week.  I am still going through my home, deciding what is to go and stay.  My books are now all gone.  I have donated everything and just kept what I haven’t read and copies of my own books of course.  My office is gone.  My Desk is my new TV Stand.  My old TV stand will be going on the front lawn for someone to pick up.  I am slowly getting there.  Real estate agents are starting to annoy me again and I don’t think I will be listing any time soon, because the housing market has fallen to a low time low.  So, it is a waiting game now.  My eye is still on Niagara Falls.  For any real estate agents out there, you know the expression, “Don’t call me.  I’ll call you”.  However,  I will look at offers but will not sign a contract at this time.  My lawyer can look over the offer.  Bye bye for now.  If you want to buy my books, please do so at        silvaredigonda.myshopify.com  or if there is any difficulty let me know and I will mail it out to you regardless of where you are in the world.  Have a nice weekend.  We are still expecting some snow and lots of rain so though I opened the windows today, the patio is still off limits.  Take care.  What do you think?

 

     

Culture Sensitivity and Counseling - Reflection 2 - Post Grad (reposted because of the times)

 In the Ethics For the Practice of Psychology in Canada Truscott asks “What do you think of the relative importance of life experiences versus professional training in order for psychologists to be cross-culturally competent?” (p 126, para 3.) This is the question I will respond to as I reflect on my own cultural background, my travelling experience and being exposed to so many cultural backgrounds. I believed that Toronto was the centre of the universe until I was about twenty two years of age, began my career and travelled. I worked and lived in Europe for four years and spent six months in the Middle East. I also had extensive teaching about cultural diversity as well. I have a European background from two different cultures. I was raised to believe from my schooling and parents that we are all equal and one. What life has taught me though, is that we are different. Yes we do have similarities, and psychology focuses on those similarities. But we cannot fail to recognize our differences, as part of a culture and as individuals within that culture. To do so deprives us from providing the service our client expects from us. I was once taught a long time ago in an undergrad class that prejudice is a derivative of prejudging. As counselors we should not be prejudging. Truscott uses the term “cultural blindness” which prevents one from seeing the world as a person from a particular culture sees it (Truscott, p 113). A woman once told me that she did not want to report a serious incident to the police. “You don’t understand my culture. My father is a powerful man in my country….The police will tell him...” She anxiously told me. She was right. I was raised to trust the police. My father was not powerful. The police from this woman’s country could talk to Canadian police. It could cause harm because of our own culture of police depending and trusting each other, police may reveal information that would eventually be disclosed to this client’s father. Then what? We cannot assume or project our own prejudices. Truscott provides guidelines, “Respect, listen and learn from clients who are different from oneself in order to understand what is in their best interest” (Truscott, p 182). Truscott reveals that we may focus on the culture and miss the “individual characteristics of the person we are counseling” (p 114). I think of the expression of not seeing the trees because of the forest. This is my own spiritual reflection. Psychologists need to ensure that clients who come to them are to be treated justly by the system they are part of (Truscott, p 129). Truscott is depicting social justice and as a Pastoral Counseling student and being placed in various systems, I have already learned that at times our clients are further abused by the systems that are intended to protect them. This awareness has stemmed from my own ethical background experience. As a student, I voiced my concern and remained firm that a client did not “have to go to court” to testify against her abuser, contrary to the wishes of a centre. In another incident, I spoke with a manager from social assistance and wrote a letter regarding an immigrant being cut off from her food supply for not co-operating with her case worker. This action resulted in the procurement of immediate funds for my client to be able to feed herself and her child. These actions demonstrated the Principles of Respect for the Dignity of Persons and Responsible caring (Truscott, p 162). Truscott reveals “Psychologists have an ethical responsibility to try to draw attention to and correct the misuse” (Truscott, p 163). My actions and ethics have demonstrated this even though it may have caused discomfort to myself at the time. What has been enforced is also Principle 1V: Responsibility to Society, in Development of Society, IV 29, “Speak out and/or act,if the policies, practices, laws, or regulations of the social structure…seriously ignore or contradict any of the principles of this Code (Truscott, 167). I have a strong sense of ethics from my previous careers and training. I have a deep caring for the individual where ever he or she is from. Though I have continuously been educated to the changing sensitivities of a growing diverse culture here and abroad, it is the experience of my interactions and visiting various cultures which has provided me with the insight I need to grow and provide the services I do with the different people I counsel.

Scams - Couldn't seem to share with link so cut and pasted. (FSNA) Be careful out there. Hope you had a nice weekend.

 For many Canadians, scams have become an unwelcome part of everyday life. Suspicious phone calls, phishing emails and unexpected text messages can arrive at any time — and often do. 

The sheer volume of these messages can be exhausting. In fact, recent surveys suggest most Canadians assume every unexpected touchpoint is a potential threat. Constantly questioning whether a call or message is legitimate can lead to a kind of “fraud fatigue.”

While scams are unlikely to disappear anytime soon, staying safe doesn't mean memorizing every new fraud tactic. Focusing on a few simple habits can help you stay in control and fight fraud fatigue.
 

One simple rule for spotting scams

Part of the reason scams feel so constant today is straightforward: technology allows fraudsters to contact thousands of people at once through phone calls, emails, text messages and social media. Even if only a small number of people respond, it can still make the scam worthwhile.

The good news is that most scams rely on the same basic tactic — creating a sense of urgency so people act before they have time to think.

That is why the single most effective way to avoid fraud is surprisingly simple: pause before reacting to unexpected messages.
 

Small habits that make a difference

A text message may say a delivery cannot be completed without payment. An email could appear to come from a familiar organization requesting urgent action. Some scams even involve callers pretending to be a grandchild or loved one in trouble.

When a message arrives that feels unexpected or urgent, always take a moment to slow down and verify the request. Contact the organization directly using a trusted phone number or official website rather than the information provided in the message.

If this feels difficult in the moment, a few simple habits can help:

• Give yourself permission to pause. Scammers often rely on pressure and urgency. Taking time to think, even just a few minutes, can help break that pressure.
• Use a simple rule of thumb. If a message asks for money, personal information or immediate action, it’s worth verifying independently — like double-checking a bill before paying it.
• Be cautious with links and attachments. Emails and text messages that contain unfamiliar links are a common fraud tactic. When there is any doubt, don’t click. Access accounts directly through an organization’s official website or app.
• Keep trusted contact information handy. Saving official phone numbers for your bank or service providers can make it easier to confirm a request quickly.

As a general rule, legitimate organizations will not pressure you to act immediately or ask for sensitive personal information through unexpected messages. Over time, practising “pause and verify” can become a reflex, making suspicious messages easier to recognize without feeling constantly on edge.
 

Stronger protections against fraud

In Budget 2025, the federal government announced plans to develop a national anti-fraud strategy, along with proposed measures that would require banks to strengthen fraud detection and give customers more control over certain account settings that can be misused by scammers.

Budget 2025 also includes plans to work with financial institutions on a voluntary code of conduct to help identify and prevent economic abuse. This form of financial harm can affect older Canadians, particularly when exploitation occurs within families or caregiving relationships.
 

If you encounter a scam

Reporting suspicious messages or calls can help authorities track emerging fraud and warn others in your community. In Canada, incidents can be reported to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, which collects information about scams and supports law enforcement investigations. In an emergency, always contact your local police.