Recovering from Christmas Overload

Wow, it was nice and actually still is but it came fast and furious. Now I am taking a day or part of two to recover. This is my most favourite time of the year. We had lots of cold and snow and neighbours got together to help each other shovel. It is times like this when I take a breather and appreciate all that is important to me and I make the time to see everyone I like though I cannot always do it when they want. I appreciate everything and everyone in my life. I am working but only when I am needed. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? So, I should be back to normal next week. Who am I kidding? Soon...........Til then, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, A Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year. Why not take this time of the year to do your own reflection. Who is important in your life? What is important to you? Have you done anything for anyone else? What do you think?

A Christmas Tale - Published

I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Christmas scene outside St Charles Church, I felt sad that I did not have enough money for Christmas to shop; that I still had to prepare for a four hour exam. As I looked at the empty cradle of Jesus, my sadness increased. “Oh Lord, we have made such a mess of things. Here it is Christmas approaching, and our planet is suffering from global warming, we still fight and kill, in the name of God. The middle class is disappearing and corporations are merging and becoming powerful. The rich are getting richer while our poor are getting poorer. Our governments are deserting us Lord. Please do not give up on us. Please forgive us.” “I am hungry miss?” I turned and found a beggar beside me. I wondered why I had not heard him approaching. He was big framed, with dirty long hair, a fat and heavily pimpled face and a foul smell that not even the cool air could dissipate. His face was so dirty that I could not determine his skin color. His mittens were black and he wore a long woolen brown coat that looked frayed but thankfully warm and he wore heavy worn boots that had seen too many winters. “I am hungry miss.” He repeated with patience. I was holding my submarine sandwich which I had just bought. I had decided to give myself a treat. After all, Christmas was approaching and I deserved something. I had just stopped to admire the Nativity scene. I looked into those sorrowful big brown eyes and saw more sorrow than I could ever bare being reflected back to me. I handed him my submarine and whispered “Merry Christmas.” I didn’t know if wishing him a Merry Christmas was politically correct, but I did not care this evening. I wanted to be free, in my seemingly democratic country to say “Merry Christmas.” What has happened to my city, to my country, to my world? I thought with sadness. I had lowered my head and looked up to see my hobo gone. He had taken my sandwich and I wished him well. I walked back to my old, rusted car in the Church parking lot and unlocked it. There was my submarine sandwich waiting for me. I looked back towards the nativity set and saw the boot prints on the snow from the Nativity area, I had just come from. There was only one set of boot prints this late night that marred the soft blanket of snow.

A Christmas Wish to Santa

Dear Santa, I know I am getting older and I am still writing to you but this year I was so busy I forgot to write and mail it in time. But with technology I can now just write to you here so you can immediately get it. I don’t think you will write back to me here but that is ok. I know how traditional you are. This year I am not asking anything for myself. God has already seen to that. I have everything I need. I have a warm bed to sleep on in a warm room. I have all the food I need plus more which my body is starting to talk to me about. I have my health which has allowed me to work in the service of others all my life. So, Santa, what I am asking for this year is for something for the entire world. I am asking that people become kinder and more aware of their responsibilities to the world. I am asking that poverty be abolished. I am asking that all the children in the world have food to fill their tummies. I am asking that all parents be good to their children and not belittle them, or hurt them in anyway. I am asking that these children grow up and do the same, thus stopping the cycle of abuse and neglect. I am asking that people vote wisely when they can and that bullies not be tolerated, thus eliminating dictatorship of any kind. I wish that we protect our dying planet and all the life within it. I wish that we respect the animals we are responsible to. I wish there will be a time, when animals no longer fear us because they sense our kindness. I wish we understand and are able to separate religion from extremists and culture and see the good in all fellow human beings. I know Santa that I am asking for a lot. I don’t expect you to grant all my wishes right now. I know it will take time. If perhaps you can whisper to each person to just do something nice for someone today, even if it is just a smile to someone who has no smiles in his or her life, than I am a very happy person. Thank you for taking the time to read this Santa, because I know you are very busy at this time of the year. I know that many people do not believe in you, but the children do and the children are our future. Perhaps they will remember you and know that just maybe their wish will come true because you see Santa, I still believe…………………………….

Asked to pass this along - To all Canadian Military Police retired or naught

The Sitrep “VOICE OF THE POINTSMAN ASSOCIATION” Website: www.thepointsman.ca Inquiries: admin@thepointsman.ca And now “THE POINTSMAN ASSOCIATION”, “THE POINTSMAN PHOTO MEMORIES” and “RCAF/PROVOST PHOTO MEMORIES” are on Facebook & Twitter too! December 2017 Christmas Edition Joyeux Noel Merry Christmas & Happy New Year Bonne Annee “WE DO LOVE TO EAT!” Breaking Bread Keeps The Communications Going In 2017 “Yep, we do love to eat…Guess if we didn’t then we would not be getting together like we do,” (this a quote from a participant at the latest London Luncheon.) In a year, 2017, really devoid of a Major Gettogether like a Reunion or an RV, Veterans and the ORG got together for Luncheons, Breakfasts, Brunches, coffees, and about any other reason to get together as long as they broke bread, quaff an ale or had a coffee, and providing dessert was available. Perhaps the easiest and cheapest way to get this bunch to get together. Kingston held two very successful get togethers, one in February and the other in November. Well attended, good food and conversation. Kingston also has a Breakfast Group that meets periodically. Good results whether it be scramble eggs or chicken wings. London has had five of their London Luncheons. Attendance was enough for a game of cards, though we haven’t broken out a deck yet. Yet the London Luncheons has had members drop in from Fergus, Whitby, and other points in the Southwestern Area. A good drive doesn’t hurt the digestion so we are told. There was an interest in having a Luncheon in Ottawa, and if so let us know because you would probably have a few sightseers and visitors drop on down. In 2018 there is the Ottawa Reunion, Organized by John “J.B.” Hosgrove for the third weekend in August. John has put in a good effort getting this together, and should be marked on a lot of calendars. Details are in the Sitrep and Pointsman Pages, and will be displayed on the CMPA website as well. If it is true that we love to eat, then 2108 will provide ample opportunities…. “O” GROUP With Russ Girden TPA President… As the year comes to an end, and a new Christmas Season comes upon us, I would like to take this time on behalf of The Pointsman Associations Executive and Committee, to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. The past year has seen many facets of the Associations motto "To Honor and Remember" brought forward. This was seen by, the turn out of members at MP Graduations, and large number of our members attending various Luncheons in Remembrance of our fallen comrades. I would like to take a minute and personally thank the Executive and Committee members who have worked diligently in assisting me and working on behalf of the members throughout the year. To the members who have paid their 2017 dues, thank you for your dedication. The new 2018 dues pin, will be the Pointsman with 2018 in the banner. The new pin will be shown on the Association Web Page, and will only be available to members who pay their dues. To those of you that have other friends who have not joined our association, let’s try to get them on board, for the many events that are planned for the year ending 2018. I wish all members and their families a very safe and holiday season. Please remember not to drink and drive, always have an alternate way home. Strength through growth. Securitas Russell L.E. Girden, President FROM THE HOME STATION, CFMPA Greeting From the Canadian Forces Military Police Academy Hello once again from the home of the Branch! It has been almost a calendar year since the last submission so I will cover off what has been keeping us busy over that time. In January of this year we introduced our new mentorship program with our vets for our qualification level three (QL3) and the Military Police Officer Course (MPOC). The program pairs up an MP veteran with a platoon to motivate, provide guidance, and link the past to the future. Each platoon is named after their mentor. In January we were fortunate enough to have Ken Neilson become our first mentor veteran for the QL3s (Neilson platoon), and Paul Thobo-Carlsen (Thobo-Carlsen platoon) to be our MPOC mentor. To say the roll out of the concept was a success would be an understatement, both the mentors and the students embraced the opportunity to enhance each other’s lives and learn from each other, thus a solid link was created between the past and the future. We are now into our second session with this program seeing three platoons in house which will be graduating on 13 Dec. Claude Blake, Bob Thomas; and Pat MacMullen are mentoring our future Military Police. The feedback from all has been a resounding success, and as a result this mentorship program has now become part of our curriculum and has also been adopted by the RCAF schools on Base. If you live close enough to the CFMPA and feel like you are interested in mentoring a platoon of new Military Police members, please provide your name to Bob Smith, Bob Thomas, or Wayne Kendall. Thobo-Carlsen platoon (on the left) and Neilson platoon (on the right) pose for a group photo after a Friday Commandant’s PT session, Feb 2017 Throughout the past year we have been quite busy; we developed and graduated 88 brand new QL3 Military Police and added them to our lines along with graduating 16 MPOC officers. We’ve put through three QL5 courses, one 6A, and a 6B course. On top of our qualification courses we also ran three Close Protection Operator courses, one in Meaford, one in Borden, and the last in Virginia, the majority of these students left the academy doors and headed straight onto deployment. A Use of Force instructor’s course was held along with a Military Police Investigator course. The CFMPA further supported numerous assessment centres for MP, MPO, and CPO; and also supported an OPP led Sexual Assault Investigator course. Needless to say our halls never go empty nor are our members short of work. In all we have instructed over 600 students in one training capacity or another at CFMPA this year. EVENTS On the 15 Jun, all staff and students celebrated the Branch birthday by playing in a softball tournament, devouring some pizza, and receiving a history lesson from Sgt Beswick on the roots of the Military Police. CHANGE OF COMMAND 21 Jul 17 saw a change of leadership where we said goodbye to our departing Commandant, LCol Adam Battista and welcomed in LCol Brian Nekurak. This CoC parade was presided over by our very own BGen Rob Delaney. There were a few tears shed when LCol Battista was escorted off the parade while being serenaded by the troops under the song Miss American Pie. LCol Nekurak brought to the Academy numerous years of excellent leadership and academic knowledge. We all wish Adam the best of luck at his new adventures with the OPP, we know he will bring a new style of leadership to civilian policing. DONATION 2 Aug 17, the Academy had the honour and privilege of being the recipients of an original hand painted oil portrait of Lt Peter Seddon Oliver from his nephew Peter Clark and his wife Marilyn. The Oliver trophy is presented to the top QL3 student of the calendar year; this year’s winner was Cpl MacIntoch who is now posted to CFB Esquimalt. The exceptional gift is now proudly displayed along with the trophy in the main entrance of our building. We thank the family for trusting us will this invaluable piece of history. Women in Force Program Sgt N. Laidlaw, Sgt S. Kirby and MCpl N. Charest provided candidates on the Women in Force Program (WFP) with a realistic job preview of the Military Police Trade on 22 Oct 17. The WFP is a new initiative to give women who have the potential, but might not consider the CAF as an employer, the chance to speak with members who have the experience and information to encourage their enrollment. SUMMARY Besides being extremely busy supporting the Military Police Branch in developing our members; our staff and students have supported the community in numerous events over the year. We attended the Ontario Police Memorial Parade held in Toronto on 7 May 2017, held our Day of Remembrance service with our vets and community in Stewart Square in front of the Cairn on the 3rd of May. Under the creativity of Sgt McGall and Sgt Laidlaw the CFMPA hosted the MPNMR riders and raised funds though an awesomely planned pig roast which saw well over 300 people attend and over $3200.00 raised. CFMPA also participated in the Remembrance Day Parade held in Collingwood on 11 Nov 17, after which we attended the Collingwood Legion where 50 members, comprised of staff and students attended the Collingwood Nursing Home to visit the residents which proved to be an enriching experience for all. To sum up, this year has been a whirlwind at the CFMPA. We are looking forward to our Christmas break, only to dive right back in come January 2018. We look forward to seeing you stop by your home the Academy, in the New Year and would be honoured to give you a tour of our beautiful facility. On behalf of LCol Nekurak, and all CFMPA staff we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and nothing but the best for 2018. Securitas CWO Crystal Krammer CFMPA CWO As the old song goes… “Should Auld Acquaintance be forgot, And Never Brought to Mind… Should Auld Acquaintance be forgot, And Days of Auld Lang Syne” For Auld Lang Syne, My Dear, For Auld Lang Syne We Will Take a Cup Of Kindness Yet, For Days of Auld Lang Syne… For When Sunsets Past Outweigh Sunrises To Come Their Faces May Fade in Our Memory, And Names That Were Once So Ready To Know Are No Longer Quick to Recall We Still Shall Gather Together, My Friends Our Memories Joined As One And We Shall Miss Them;  “THEY SHALL NOT GROW OLD, AS WE WHO ARE LEFT GROW OLD AGE SHALL NOT WEARY THEM, NOR YEARS CONDEMN AT THE GOING DOWN OF THE SUN… WE WILL REMEMBER THEM INFORMATION POST Sitrep To Be Available Quarterly in 2018…Plus 1 The Sitrep is going to be publish Quarterly in 2018. Starting March 7th of 2018, the Sitrep will be available June 7th, September 7th and December 7th. There will be an additional one available should there be an event like a Reunion or RV in that year. The special edition will focus on that event. The reason for the change in the Sitrep comes from those that write the Sitrep, which is becoming more difficult to put together… and those that submit. The CFMP Academy for one. Running a school and finding time to submit an article do not always mesh. CWO Kramer has a lot to do as the School RSM as well as being the Branch CWO. Though she has quite a workload The CWO does not want to disappoint the Veterans by not passing along information on what the Academy is doing. This should help those writing the Academy submissions. Academy Seeking Veterans to Help Mentor Young MPs One of the suggestions that came out of RV75 was to see Veterans take an active part of assisting the MP Students, when necessary, in a Mentor Program. There is a Mentor Program in place at the Academy now, and is open to Veterans who wish to help out. You must live within a reasonable distance from Base Borden, have the time required should your assistance be needed, and you must commit to the student platoon for a number of visits as we as attend their Graduation Festivities. Further information is available by contacting the Academy. Ride For Heroes to Hold “Reunion” in Wingham October 2018. If you were part of the two initial “Ride For Heroes” Motorcycle Rides between London and Wingham, you are invited to a get together to be held in Wingham this October. Though doing another MC Ride is beyond our ability at this time, having a Luncheon with the proceeds going to the Scholarship Fund is not. Further details will be released in the next March Sitrep. SCHEDULE OF UPCOMING 2018 EVENTS START POINTS: Date Event Location February 25th Kingston Luncheon TBD March 10th London Luncheon Kelsey’s Roadhouse June 9th London Luncheon Kelsey’s Roadhouse August 16-19 Ottawa Reunion Hylands Golf and Country Club September 15th London Luncheon Kelsey’s Roadhouse October TBA Wingham Ride4Heroes TBD Reunion November 17th Kingston Honour And TBD Remembrance Luncheon December 8th London Christmas Luncheon Kelsey’s Road Ottawa Reunion 2018 OTTAWA ONTARIO DATES: 17, 18, 19 August 2018 HOTEL: Hilton Garden Inn Airport, Ottawa Address: 2400 Alert Rd, Gloucester, ON K1V 1S1 Phone: (613) 288-9001 LOCATION: Hylands Golf and Country Club (HGCC) 2101 Alert Road, Ottawa, ON Canada, K1V 1J9 Telephone: (613) 521-1842, Fax: (613) 521-3694 SCHEDULE OF EVENTS Friday: Fred Rogers Memorial Golf Tournament (The Pointsman Association. Doc Aldridge Co-ordinator) 18 Holes of Golf finishing with a steak dinner. HGCC Reunion Meet & Greet, Hors d'oeuvres Golf Awards - HGCC Saturday: Welcome Buffet Breakfast HGCC AM: Town Hall Meeting with the Provost Marshall (CMPA) Lunch at HGCC PM: Afternoon Activities To Be Determined Dinner Dance with DJ HGCC Sunday: Departure Buffet Breakfast HGCC Costs not finalized Further Details as Available. Picture: Kingston Reunion 2007 Summerside Reunion 2014 “OH! To Be Young At Heart” Maybe Your Birth Certificate Is WRONG? You know what is so damned good about attending these Luncheons, and Reunions, and RVs and all the other stuff that people like Jean Pellerin, John Hosegrove, Paul Melanson and yes, Mr. George Elliott go to… These people know how to laugh. Ever watch George attend a Kingston Luncheon? From the moment he walks in the room all eyes turn toward him. Those eyes of his get that twinkle. That Smile brighten the room. The back straightens and the step quickens. He makes a bee line for people. Shaking hands, laughing…and Gawde he could run for Prime Minister and WIN! Mr George Elliott @RV75 “The Silver Fox” Joe Hubert @ London Christmas Luncheon For years now Joe Hubert, residing in Whitby comes down to break bread and enjoy the comradery of the London Luncheons. He is a regular, and he brings with him stories, and memories and a knack for others to laugh and the servers to blush… (all except Becky who thinks Joe is harmless. Silly Girl 😉 ). Joe’s nickname is the “Silver Fox”, earned from the colour of his motorcycle. A veteran of approximately 5 National Military Police Rides, he isn’t slowing down either. Neither of them are. The scary part is that were in the service before I was even born, and both are in their very young 80s! (BTW I just turned 60 this year). I know I have sung this song before. To ask that our members think about getting out to an event or function at least once this coming year. To break bread, quaff and ale and tell some lies. A couple of hours that is all. Yet unfortunately I also hear the chorus… “I am not feeling well. I have things to do. Too far to drive. Too much, and besides I simply don’t want to, I want to let go of the past”. Strange I remember some members out there secretly confessing (and yes me included), that they are so thankful that we did not serve in the era of the cell phone. Oh! The fun that would have caused! Have some of us apparently gotten so old… so fast? Always at the end of the year, at the point in the Sitrep where We “Honour and Remember” I usually do not include names. I write a tribute and allow the reader to stop for a moment and remember friends, comrades, good times and maybe a less happier memory. Empty Chairs…and sadly they get emptier as time passes. This year I received over 35 notices that were posted on the Pointsman and various other websites. Lives that were once shared under the Provost, RCAF Police, and the Thunderbird. We Will Remember Them. So as the old year passes, We will raise a Cup of Kindness yet, and the Days of Long Ago. Take one moment Look at yourself in a mirror and see that young, full of piss and vinegar, person that served so proudly! Take a moment to think about those who you have missed, those who have passed, and those who just maybe on a particular day… at a particular time… you might just look across the table from you, and see living memories looking back from their chair! Toast! Laugh! Quaff an Ale! Tell Some Lies! And Especially Be Young Again! To The Graduating and All Students of the Canadian Military Police Academy From Those Whom You Honour By Wearing the Red Beret “God Bless” Almighty God By Whose Grace We Are Called To The Position Of Responsibility and Trust, We Ask for Your Blessing upon All Who Serve in the Military Police Branch of the Canadian Forces, at Home and Abroad, Inspire Us with Courage and Wisdom, Courtesy and Faithfulness, Give Us the True Knowledge of Your Will that We may give Proper Guidance to Our Comrades, That by Serving other Honourably and with Justice we may Serve You Well and become more Worthy of Our Military Police Calling. Amen

The Internet Murders - ebook

I have just uploaded my third book "The Internet Murders" at www.silvaredigonda.com . I hope you enjoy the e-book for 7.99. Sorry for the delay but with my move and seeing clients I have been delayed. I still need to explore my options for a new up to date shopping cart. I really enjoyed writing the Internet Murders and dedicated it to my good friend Father Bill German, a Jesuit, who was an avid mystery reader. He was so excited that I was dedicating this book to him. He died less than a week after we spoke last. He was an inspiration to everyone who knew him. I really miss him. Please do not hesitate to buy my ebook and to honestly let me know what you think. One day I will try to figure out how to get my books into book stores. If you are in the GTA, I am available to come and talk about my books and of course signing and selling them. Don't hesitate to contact me regarding any questions. Til then "happy reading" during these cold nights. What do you think?

Christmas is coming to town!!!!!

It is that time of the year once again! Snow is anticipated for Toronto and shovels and salt are waiting patiently. I am now in my new location for almost two weeks and it is going fine. As one door closes, another opens and this is simply another chapter of my life moving forward. Sometimes we have time to reflect etc....Other times we must make quick decisions and this was one quick descision. Christmas can be wonderful for some people (myself included. It is my favourite). For others the thought of Family gatherings, shopping etc....is a nightmare. Was Christmas a time of joy for you? Is the holiday season and celebration a time of bad memories for you? I try to accomodate as many people during the holiday season because for some it is the most devestating time of the year. Perhaps this holiday season, you will allow yourself to step back and take a look at your life through different lens. If you are happy with life, that is great! However, if you are not, take time to discern. What can you do to change things? What can you do to balance your life a bit more? Are you in a balanced relationship? Do you find yourself always giving or always taking? Is that fair? Do you find that you are overburdened with addictions? Is it time to stop blaming others and learn how to deal with problems without reaching out for that bottle, shopping spree, gambling machine? One thing we do have within a free society is choice. Why not make today a choice for you to take a different avenue? What do you think?

The Story of the Pope: PIUS XII, by Robert L. Reynolds Review by Silva Redigonda

Though the title implies that the focus of this book is about Pius XII, the book's central focus is rather about the structure and life of the Vatican and Roman Catholic Church. Pope Pius XII is written in the text of the present Pope and very little appears to be known of him. The author describes daily life in the Vatican. The author also provides a list of presiding staff with a brief discussion of their origins. More importantly the structure of the Roman Catholic Church is presented in the form of a diagram which offers the reader an appreciation of its' Corporate structure. The Vatican is presented as self-sufficient in daily activities, and one recognizes whether Catholic or not, the enormous power of the Catholic Church. What is interesting in the format of this book is that the author divides topics with narratives of Pope PIUS XII. What is also presented is the power of the Pope. When the Pope speaks, the world hears. The author states that the Pope [Pius XII] "is immensely powerful." He supports this by indicating that the Pope is the spiritual ruler and guide for almost a fifth of the human race. Infallibility of a Pope is described. "Nor in his capacity as this man or that, but in virtue of his dignity and office…At the decisive moment, when he speaks ex cathedra, Pius and Leo fade into the background; it is the office, the role of the apostle, the Holy Ghost, which is there." The author indicates that during the eighteen years of Pope XII's reign three periods are significant [as part of the 19th century]. This is regards the many people wanting to see him, Catholic and non-religious alike. One is WWII, when the Pope received hundreds of thousands of servicemen and women of every allied nation. The second is in 1950, the Holy year and the third is the Marian Year of 1954-55, when pilgrims were in the millions. The author mentions that the Pope was taken aback when meeting service women, wearing army shirts and trousers. Though visibly shaken, the Pope recovered quickly. This is not surprising considering the photographs in the book that depict a sea of men who are priests and in different levels of power structure. There are scenes of men in lecture halls and men walking together in groups. Women, are scarce and certainly not among the Great. One nun is mentioned as having a position close to the Pope in the Vatican and that is Sister Pasqualina who was head of Pope Pius XII's household staff including six nuns who were cooks. It is interesting that women appear influential, as mothers of men who choose priesthood. Yet, women so alienated may remain a mystery to them. The author depicts Pope Pius Xll as a man who was alone [as most great men are]. Once Pope, Pius Xll ate breakfast alone though it was not required by law. One wonders if this was his own time to prepare and face the burdens of the day unswayed and alone with God. The author discloses that when Hitler's Wehrmacht went into Poland, those with the Pope at the time and seeing him receive this news, "saw him walk slowly into his private chapel…[where he] began to sob deeply." This book is highly recommended. Though the theme appears to be regarding the structure of the Catholic Church and Vatican, the reader focused on Pope XII. From the basis of this book the reader respects Pope XII as the leader of her Church in the 19th century and appreciates him as a man who may have been somewhat uncomfortable in the presence of women in other than traditional roles. The reader feels that Pope XII was a holy man who grieved for the world. Robert Reynolds has provided enough information about the Church that encourages any reader to want more of it. One will want to read more of Popes, more of the Vatican and how it operates and more of the structure of the Roman Catholic Church. It motivates one to compare the Church of the 19th century to that of the 21st century. This book initiates interest to venture deeper into the Roman Catholic Church, its’ structure, its' history, its' Popes, its' clergy and most important its' people.

Two conferences - Abortion, Racism and I am moving tid bits

I do believe that this November has been a handful. At one conference they were looking for volunteers and I stood firm at ignoring the imposing stares. No more volunteer positions more than two at a time. I do like getting paid for my work. So, for right now I am still the Health Benefits Officer assistant for the federal retirees (FSNA/SAGE). I encourage previous federal employees, military retirees, veterans, RCMP and Federal Judges to join the Association. You get a free lunch in Toronto which I love. I understand that you can now join any area you want. Since I am from Toronto, and I am happy with the board, here I shall remain. This Saturday I am moving my office to a residence on Northcliffe Blvd. It shall be a smooth transmission. Thursday will be the last day I see clients in my office building. Friday shall be my day of fun and Saturday is moving day. There will be two animals in the new office area, in case anyone is allergic to animals. There is a community centre nearby where I can rent space but the cost is $90.00 an hour to just rent the space from the city. Since I charge 100. an hour consisting of 50 minutes. The cost will be additional for the space. I have been to two conferences/seminars. One was an all day event about abortions. Two women who had abortions spoke of their experiences. As you who have been reading my blogs since the beginning (thank you), you know that I talk about riske topics. People have abortions and some suffer greatly years later. Others do not. This is not about pro or against. This is about human suffering after the fact. Human suffering is my concern. Saturday I also went to a long day conference where the speaker was an American Black man. I say that because that is how he identifies himself. I will not name him when I talk about him. However, he speaks at home and abroad and is a therapist and professor. He also believes that inter-relational relationships are not possible. I do not share in this belief and he provided no statistics to support his claim. If I believed that, I would not have had such wonderful relationships with so many people of all races and religions. It is his loss that he believes he can never be my friend. However, he also dictated that he is not angry but full of rage. I have no idea what that kind of rage feels like, but I am sure it is distracting. I felt like he had beaten me up by the end of the day for being white. I will speak more of both topics as well as the others I have attended. No more conferences until April where I will travel to God's country to hear a University of Toronto physician and professor speak of Neurology. Of course this I will all share with you. Just be patient with me because I am on a roll. My plan for the remainder of the week is to attend one focus group (volunteered myself in the summer), my clients and my move with one day of fun with the hope to complete reading my book on autism. Until then have you had an abortion you are still grieving about years later? Have you been exposed to racism of any kind? How has that experience changed you? What do you think?

Tid bits from depression talk and update

I have been attending conferences, fairs etc……and want to record what I think is important for you and me. So I am recording my notes and thus I provide them for you as well. As you know I have received, “The Internet Murders” which I wrote for fun. I began reading my own book. There is something exciting about reading a book you have written. I am also moving from my existing office to a new location about 10 minutes away (if you are walking). If I am repeating myself, that is ok, because if someone does not read it the first time, they may read it another time. I do want to write about the play I saw for educational reasons but not today. I write out my notes and for you who may not know, writing notes rather than typing them, helps to retain in memory. So my grey cells work better when I write which I will continue to do. I also type my notes afterwards as you all know and then cut and paste it here for you. I have been toying with what my next book should be. I have decided. It will disappoint a friend of mine but I will write about two old ladies solving crimes with humour another time - bucket list. What my next book will be is about psychotherapy and couple and family therapy. This will serve two purposes. First the College likes it and I gain points for writing. Second and not necessarily in this order, I will be able to offer this book for sale to anyone who wants to read it and gain knowledge on some self care and understanding themselves and others to improve relationships and understand them. If there is a publisher interested …….I am here. Finally, I often have clients ask to recommend a book and I only do if I have read it myself or seen a documentary regarding the author. I normally recommend that people check the qualifications of the author who is writing. Of course some people like to tell their story. I often recommend to clients who suffer to write a journal or their life story but to see their therapist if something is triggered. I have found that people who have suffered trauma have memories stirred which were forgotten and I recommend to stop writing and to bring those feelings to the therapy room to work on. Sometimes, forgotten joys are also remembered. This I have found offers comfort. Now for tidbits from a fair lecture I attended. Beating the Blues - Depression and Seasonal Depression in Later Life by Susan Well, MSW, RSW. 14% to 20% of elderly people living in the community experience depression symptoms and 40% in long term care. 3% to 5% experience SAD and 10% to 15% at clinical levels. This happens in the winter when our exposure to much needed sun diminishes. There are lamps for this and she mentioned that they can be bought at Costco. I actually saw it at Costco before this fair and almost blinded myself when turning it on. I have never used one myself so make sure you read the instructions and not play with it. I would do some research if I were you before buying a product, to ensure it will meet your needs. Well, though the lecture was about 90 minutes, the rest was refresher for me and though I asked for the slides, I never got it. Oh well. If you do find yourself getting depressed, let your doctor know. When I see clients who are sad, I try to help them determine why. Sometimes, it is obvious such as a death in the family, a sudden diagnosis of an illness, a break up etc….Sometimes, it requires more reflection. Sometimes people don’t even know they are suffering from depression. Are you? Are you lethargic? Are you isolating yourself etc…? There is help. What do you think?

See me at York University, Showcase (Tuesday, Nov 7, 17,and buy my latest book

It has been very very busy. October and NOvember are my busiest months mainly because the conferences begin. I have four to attend this month. I still manage to balance my life and I do love all I do. MY third book, "The Internet Murders" has arrived as well and I have already sold a few. I have to still set up a better selling platform for the internet (www.silvaredigonda.com). I want to also let you know that I am now serious about telephone counselling as well. I realize that some people live in remote areas and so know that you may contact me and payment is through paypal also on the same web page as my books. You may email me for any further information or to set up an appointment. I do need some basic information to be filled such as your name, address etc.....Receipts are issued and you may claim this on your health section of your annual tax returns(in Ontario) You need to check with Revenue Canada regarding where you live. I do not know how much you actually get back but your forms may assist you with that. So, have a wonderful week. Focus on what is good in your life. Maintain a balance in your life. If you have some time come and meet me and buy my latest signed book which is a fictional account of a serial killer, set in Toronto. I cannot believe I have not had time to read my own book. There is a first for everything. The book is $14.95 and I do believe is worth every penny. I had so much fun writing it. I will be at the Bear Pit, Central Square, for Showcase at 0900 to about 5pm, this Tuesday, Nov 7th, 2017. If I know you please bring coffee (black no sugar). Tim's is around the corner. Til then, have a nice one!

Alfred Hitchcock's North By NorthWest is great! Books arrived.

It is busy again as I try to pause and determine which conferences to attend or not and what Associations to continue or not. What I always recommend to people is to have a balance in life and so I am taking my own medicine to a new level. I have subscribed with MIrvish to see six plays at the theatre. I love the theatre, but haven't actually been committed for one reason or another. But when you pay in advance you become more so. I normally wait til something arrives that I am really interested in and this time North by Northwest and Come Fly .....peaked my interest. I could not for the life of me figure out how they could turn such a movie into a play and it did not disappoint - cimema of course. The actors and cinema was so intertwined and connected. I loved it all. The leading actor I have seen before on "Murdock Murder Mysteries" set in Toronto in the good old days before I was born or you for that matter. Love it! If I write again about a play I saw you will know I have fallen in love with it. Next my books, "The Internet Murders" has arrived. I love the cover. My publisher and editor, "Cranberry Tree Press" never fails to impress me. Now, I have to determine how I can connect it to Canada Post so I can sell it on the world wide web. I have found that my second ebook "For Love of Country MIlitary Policewoman" has been selling without my permission or me getting any funds. It is unfortunate that people take your work and sell it making an income for themselves. I have always been in the service of others so this is all new to me. Again I let you know, so you can be aware, if you write a book yourself and try to sell it. I am determined because writing is my passion (one of them). Have a great weekend. I am seeing another play next week. If it is great I will write about it here but if not I will find the time to continue writing my psych notes about fear. In the meantime, have a nice weekend, have fun and try to maintain a balance in your life. Be kind to yourself. What do you think?

Canadian Veterans in need

Hi, I am on a roll today. I have cut and pasted this for you. I have a special interest in supporting and helping veterans. It is heart wrenching for me that veterans are found homeless on the streets of Toronto. That has got to stop. Transitions should be carefully considered. So, note below which I found in FSNA. I hope it can help some of you. Many organizations provide financial assistance to veterans and their families. The following are some funds that can help veterans and their families who may need financial support for different reasons. The Royal Canadian Legion Poppy Trust Fund is available to veterans —including serving and former Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) and RCMP members — and their dependants. Grants are available for food, fuel, clothing, prescription medication, medical appliances or equipment, essential home repairs and emergency shelter or other similar types of assistance. You can apply for financial assistance from the Royal Canadian Legion by contacting the service officer at your local Legion branch or provincial command or through Dominion Command. The Dominion Command of The Royal Canadian Legion also acts as a coordinator for several United Kingdom Benevolent Funds through the Royal Commonwealth Ex-Services League. These funds are generally reserved for veterans and their dependants who suffer misfortune, encounter an emergency or are seriously disadvantaged. Veterans or dependents who have ongoing difficulty making ends meet may also be considered for an annuity. For more information, call toll-free at 1-877-534-4666 to speak to a Legion service officer. The Royal Canadian Naval Benevolent Fund is available to veterans who served in the Navy and their spouses. For information, call toll-free at 1-888-557-8777 or 613-996-5087. The Canadian Forces Personnel Assistance Fund provides financial assistance to serving and former CAF members and their families through the following programs: Minor Disbursement Program provides grants up to $200 to relieve temporary distress and to promote the well-being of serving and former CAF Regular Force members and their dependents. Grants are available on a one-time, lifetime basis. The CFPAF Financial Distress Program offers grants up to $5,000 and loans up to $25,000 to serving and former CAF Regular Force and Reserve Force members. For more information, call toll-free at 1-888-753-9828. The Support Our Troops Program, administered by the Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services also provides financial assistance through a number of programs: The Military Families Fund provides financial assistance to serving and former CAF Regular Force and Reserve Force members and their families who find themselves in unforeseen situations. They may have immediate financial needs resulting from conditions of military service. The Soldier On Fund was established to support ill and injured military personnel with a permanent or chronic disability. It is available to both serving and former CAF members and their families to help them attain an active and healthy lifestyle. It helps personnel increase their independence, develop new skills, achieve goals and open the door to other life opportunities. The Hospital Comforts Fund ensures that serving CAF members who are hospitalized for longer than 48 hours have access to telephone, television, Internet services and reading material for the duration of their stay in hospital. For more information on any of the funds in the Support Our Troops Program, send an email to Fund.Military@cfmws.com or call toll-free at 1-877-445-6444. Lastly, funds are available from the RCMP Benefit Trust Fund to provide financial relief and promote the well-being of former RCMP members and their immediate family members. For more information, contact the RCMP Veterans Association national office by telephone at 613-993-8633. You can also contact the Association’s Veterans Officer toll-free at 1-855-304-4700 or at 613-745-2559.

For Ontario women who have been sexually assaulted - Help resources

I have cut and pasted a portion of an email I received from the Ministry of the Status of women for Ontario. Since I work from Toronto which is in Ontario, I focus on a specific area to refer clients, who may need additional help. I hope this may help some of you or someone you know. The Ministry of the Status of Women is committed to advancing gender equality across Ontario.  The ministry collaborates with partners across the province on key initiatives to end violence against women and improve women's economic independence and security.  The ministry supports programs and services for women in Ontario, but does not provide direct services. With respect to your inquiry, you may wish to contact the Assaulted Women's Helpline to seek referral information about local services for women in your community.  The helpline offers a 24-hour telephone and TTY crisis line to all women who have experienced abuse, and also provides referral information to service providers and others.  For more information about the helpline's services, please visit:  http://www.awhl.org/contact-us.  To access the helpline: GTA 416.863.0511 or GTA TTY 416.364.8762 TOLL-FREE 1.866.863.0511 or TOLL-FREE TTY 1.866.863.7868 You may also wish to contact your local Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Treatment Centre to seek referral information related to assessments for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  A list of these centres is provided at:  http://satcontario.com/en/home.php. Your local sexual assault centre is also a source of referral information about services for women in your community.  A list of these centres is available at:  http://www.sexualassaultsupport.ca/support. Lastly, the ministry's on-line resource, Getting Help, provides information for women experiencing violence, and is available at: http://www.women.gov.on.ca/owd/english/ending-violence/help.shtml

Sexual Assault is never the person's fault.

About a month ago I was at a salon having my nails done when I overheard a woman employee say she was not judgemental however, a woman who was raped had to take responsibility because of the way she was dressed. She was saying a lot of other things that was making me cringe and needless to say I will not be returning to that place. A while ago a judge made a comment regarding a woman who was sexually assault laying responsibility on her because of one thing or another. I am amazed that in the year 2017, we are still so limited and restricted in our way of thinking. First of all, it does not matter how a person, male or female is dressed, rape/sexual assault is never an invitation. All these comments do is blame the survivor/victim. Rape has nothing to do with sex and it has everything to do with power. For some reason this mode of thinking is being passed on from generation to generation and from culture to culture. I cannot count the amount of women who have informed me of being sexually assaulted. Men are too. Children are too. Is it all their fault? Is it partially their fault? No!!!! You can be having sex with a person of legal age and at any time you can change your mind and that needs to be respected. There are so many people who do not report being violated. Many are traumatized and sink into a deep depression, re-evaluating life as they saw it. Some suffer PTSD, living the assault over and over again. This mindless accusations of blame should only rest on the perp. Each time you blame a woman or man who has been victimized, you excuse who is actually at fault. So, please think about this. Offer support and kindness to any one who has reported being violated. Stop blaming those who have been hurt. Start trying to find out the facts based on evidence. If you are in a position of authority with power over those who have been abused, try to determine your own biases and be able to separate them from sound decision making. I am having hope for the changes I see around me. The average voice is heard more often with the introduction of wide media. It is more important than ever for education to include misconceptions, empathy and even manners. I was going to write about my meeting on Monday with the idea that I should continue with the psych notes regarding fear. But this is part of fear, is it not? Blame is all to often internalized when it should not be. How often have I said, "It is not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He (they) should be ashamed." It makes me cringe when I hear that "gang bangers" will tell their targets not to report to the police because they are even worse. If you have been assaulted it is not your fault. You have suffered enough. Find your own safe place and choose your own friends who are truly supportive of you. If you have been raped consider the option of going to hospital where there is a rape kit. You do not need to make a decision right now. Do not bathe or shower as much as you want to cleanse yourself. You have months to make that decision while the evidence is intact. If you hear the slightest hint that it was your fault, do not believe it. Talk to someone who you trust. Seek help to cope. Join a support group or get the counselling you may need.

Fear - Continuing psych notes

I am continuing with my psych notes from 1/4/17. Fear - Client suffering from anxiety disorder - increase benzpdepozine - fine tune - with drugs. Operations not feasible. Help with symptoms - don’t want to induce addiction. Fear is not always harmful. It not only energizes people, when people get frightened, they don’t feel pain. Once fear passes, pain is felt. If a wolf bites - fight it off- if in pain, not able to fight. Pain free can defend self. However, have lots of people who have never been fearful, but then exposed to experience or several beyond normal. Eg. downsizing - A Professor, 65 years of age is to be fired from hospital in next three months. Too much is coming in and therefore too much can become overwhelmed. There is nothing wrong with biology but wrong with the environment - reasonable - mortgages, salary. The other possibility is minding your own business and you get attacked underground or are subject of terrorism or war - time duration is relatively short but fear is excessive. Few people would be able to say, “oh well, bombs all over me and blowing people apart” - it would be generally overwhelming. It can generate anxiety disorder relatively quickly. It is the circumstances, not the biology. Another thing too emotionally is that learning and memory is enhanced greatly. At cognition level - the way in which people construe events eg. happen to live next to foreign speaking people - if idea is that all are terrorists and kill Canadians. If a cognition therapist is trying to change their cognitive perspective - one way is to ask for evidence. “ You think……..What evidence do you have for this?” As cognitive view changes. Anxiety goes away. Psychoanalytic will look at conflict because of ID - Ego has to repress. Gets conflicts out in open and tries to resolve it. Behavior will tend to look at specific stimuli that cause anxiety and will try to desensitize the person. Next: hierarchy Approach for psychoanalyst

Networking day - Professional Development

Yesterday I drove to Hamilton Ontario for six hours of ongoing professional education. Another certificate to file for proof that I attended. If I covered my wall with such certificates, people would think I am bragging. If I ever move and get a home office, I will do that though, just to remind me of everything I have done. However, in my office, I like to keep it simple. I found Hamilton to be quite beautiful and the hospital was in the mountains somewhere and I was quite pleased that my sibling had given me the gift of gps. I may have been going in circles, but I got there. Beautiful water views and traffic is a no brainer compared to the nightmare in Toronto. One of the speakers from a Toronto Theology University shared how in her psychology undergrad at a university I will not name was very opposed to any questions about God or theology. Of course I raised my hand and mentioned that at my university at York University, though ten years later I did not find that. We also offered psychology and religion. I also remember a professor teaching when out of the blue he talked about the universe. He said that though everything is all in order, throw something in that order and you have chaos. "How can that not have to do with God?" He asked rhetorically or words to that effect. The next speaker also teaching from a theological viewpoint, hence her college, spoke of being confused regarding viewing pastoral/spirituality as a separate module rather than encompassing the whole. Perhaps because I am in private practice only, it is much easier for me to comprehend spirituality as a separate modality. In being able to practice therapy, one must first be able to face own biases and subjectivity and be able to focus on the client and their own subjectivity. For me it is about assessing each individual on their own merit, belief system etc....However, that does not separate me from myself and who I am. The focus is on the client and not on myself. I must be able to separate myself from myself so to speak. The first professor responded to my going to a Toronto University and professors would be more inclined to be open to religion due to the diversity of the people and religions in Toronto. I have been pondering that. Are we that closed minded if we do not come from a diverse city? I would like to disagree. I think that perhaps it was the biases that prevented her professors from keeping an open mind. Education should encourage thought and questions and who the educator is and his or her own biases may prevent the growth of those who study and learn from them. You do not have to believe in God to discuss God or answer a question relating to God. How can you help people if you disregard what is important to them? I have been honoured to have had clients with such a wide spectrum of diversity. I have been fortunate to have travelled and worked with amazing people. When any professor waves a question away casually, it may be time for re-evaluation. Of course these same professors may have a different perspective at this time. We learn by questioning. What do you think?

The Internet Murders

Well I have added the cover of my third book. It was sent out yesterday and has soon as I get my books, I shall let you know. I am hoping to have it ready for Showcase at York University, Nov 7, 2017. I wish I could have had it sooner but it is better to ensure there are no errors or required adjustments. I was hoping to have a recent picture of me and have my "Holy Terror" in there as well, but not one of my photos was found satisfactory. A photo of me and zombie did not meet the criteria either. Oh well. I suppose my humour comes out even when there is a serial killer around, but humour is a requirement of life. I am debating still what to write in my next book. I think it is better to have lots of ideas bouncing around in my head than none. I have been writing stories since I was a child and I am glad that I have not stopped. So, I suppose I should continue with my notes and I still have lots regarding my psychology classes and theology. Once I record all my notes, I terminate the notebooks, thus one less ounce of paperwork in either my home office or business office. I encourage you to try any hobby if you do not have one and continue until you find something you love to do. In the meantime, if you want to order a book, you may contact me via email or www.silvaredigonda.com. If you want psychotherapy you may contact me at www.redigondapsychotherapy.com. Wish me luck. What do you think?

Harbour Front "Word on the Street" Toronto

Well This Sunday I will be selling my books at "Word on The Street" on the waterfront. Find me at booth number 414A. Look for the sign "Hey Guy Buy Me - Silva Redigonda." From 11:00 to 6 pm. Address is 235 Queens Quay. See you on the lake front. Note the picture of Holy Terror who is my little girl in my third book, now being published.

Please do not buy my books, ebooks from scammers

Bolcom is selling my ebook without my authority. It seems from their grading of For Love of Country - Military Policewoman, they must be doing well. I am glad that those who can't, steal from those who can. At least send royalties my way or prepare for the ring (in my free time). I request that the public not buy any of my books from them. I understand this is a Dutch outfit? I have finished my third book and will be getting an ebook. However, with all these scams, I am debating uploading it. My main focus is on my private practise, however, I love writing as a hobby. It is my second business and I have not received any royalties from anyone this year. Keep that in mind, if you are buying and letting people make money from the author without consent. The only organizations that have copies of my existing ebook is kobo and Military Police Kit. You may buy my ebook from my own web site www.silvaredigonda.com.

The Veteran

May/Jun 17 edition of Family Therapy Magazine reported startling stats. An average of 20 American veterans commit suicide daily. In one government study the rate of suicide among former military personnel in Canada is 46% higher for males and 32% higher for females, relative to the civilian population (Stats Canada, 2011). In the USA suicide prevention has become a top National priority (p 29). The article continues with PTSD which we are already familiar with. “Moral Injury” has also been introduced. Litz et al.(2009) proposes that mental injury “ occurs when one not by one’s own accord, perpetuates/inflicts, or fails to prevent violence on others, or fails to prevent violence on others, or bears witness to acts that transgress one’s deeply held moral beliefs and appears to contribute to different manifestations in emotions, thoughts and behaviors that often lead to different manifestations in emotions, thoughts and behaviors that often lead to destructive and unhealthy outcomes including high suicidality (Marvasti&Dripchak, 2010).” War affects the whole person of the veteran physiologically, emotionally, spiritually, morally and relationally which changes a soldier’s core and character structure. Tick (2014) noted that a soldier surviving a war in a battlefield goes through a psychic death and rebirth process. Trying to treat a soldier as her/his former self only brings isolation, disappointment, frustration and destruction to the transformed identity of the soldier (Tick, 2014).(FTM pages 29-32). Every once in a while I will get a call from someone in the States concerned about a military person and I always recommend that they contact their veteran affairs for help. Since they are in the States, the resources are right there for them. We too have our own veteran affairs and I have already posted a number that service people may call. I have found that depression and isolation is very common. However, I also know that veterans are very close to each other and trust each other before trusting their civilian counterpart, though not always. Though suicide may always be an option for some, I caution people who are not qualified therapists to not casually report a veteran has suicidal. I cannot count the amount of persons in the general population who I have seen who reported being or feeling suicidal. As a therapist, I have to believe that the person will commit suicide. I cannot either count how many people have reported that they were going to kill themselves out of frustration for one reason or another. I can report that lives made worse by well meaning health helpers who were not qualified and reported a possible veteran has being suicidal when it was not the case. I even mentioned this on a course where I was surprised at how many people were working with possible suicide persons without any qualification. The highest qualified person in that arena was a psychology undergrad student who the others were seeking advice from. I could not contain my anger and disappointed. This needs to change and soon. I have been fortunate so far. There is a cry for help out there. There are also those who seem to be led by the blind and that is not missed. I have mentioned it before that during seminars a focus is on the mindset of the soldier. The focus is on the culture. And sometimes that is missed as well. I encourage every veteran and soldier thinking suicide to take advantage of the resources you have offered to you. If you have seen someone and have not been able to connect with him or her, don’t waste time. See another therapist. Check their qualifications and make sure they are registered. The world of veterans can be a small one and I suggest that you find others and connect and share. People are always changing by what happens to them and they are never entirely the same. Every moment something happens to us and we grow and change. Sometimes, something so horrible happens and it scars. However, we can also move forward and live a productive life if we are able to reach out, for no person is an island. We need others. What do you think? September 11 is today and my thoughts are for the 3000 people who died and their families. We should never forget those who have suffered, and those who fight for us. I would like to add my prayers for those suffering from the recent disasters in the States and Caribbean.

Fairbank Memorial Park - selling two of my books

This Saturday from 0800 to 3pm, I will be selling two of my books at Fairbanks Memorial Park. I hope to see you there. The location is South of Eglinton, East side of Dufferin. There is parking at the park, at the North side and South of the building. Silva

American Association of Family Therapy divorcing Canada?

Well first there is a name change with one of my credentials and now it appears that by a 75% to 25% vote AAMFT wants a divorce. What does that mean for me? I am not quite sure. To remain and have that credential I have to join the Canadian one and that means more costs for more associations. So before I decide I shall have to attend all the meetings to come. I have one next month at a Hamilton hospital which will also generate 6 hours of education hours and another annual meeting for Ontario Association of Family Therapy in November just North of the city. So, I am going to do some discerning. My focus has been gaining knowledge for the care of clients and that has been where my education has been focused on. Now I have to make time for all these associations I belong to which costs a great deal of money which will probably increase. So, I will keep you briefed with what is happening here in Canada but will continue to report what I learn and that applies to Americans. Maybe I am being divorced but I will remain friendly during the banishment. I have already achieved all my education hours for three years but hey, I am on a roll and good thing for me, I like learning. Wish me luck with this process. I have taken the time to take photos for my book which I am not totally pleased with but it will have to do. I prefer creative work with no time constraints. I will let my publisher decide. The final outcome has been sent to me and I am trying to figure out the time for that. I am my best in the morning. I am debating teaching perhaps one course for the community one day or night a week. I am debating. My college likes that and I have to admit I do like teaching. It would be interactive for the all people, educated or not. That is it for now. I have saved an article I want to share with you about the American Military (I am not divorcing you). For now, have a good week and focus on what is good in your life. Having difficulty with that one? Then why not make changes for yourself? What do you think?

update - third book - selling my books

This month is a busy month. Regarding book sales, you will find me at Word on the Street, Sunday, 24 September 17. Look for "Hey Guy Buy Me." I do not have my booth number yet but I have asked for the water front. I love looking at water. I will be selling that book, plus, "For Love of Country Military Policewoman. On Saturday 16 Sept 17, I will be at Fairbank's Memorial Park at the East side of Dufferin, between Rogers and Eglinton, just South of Eglinton. I am now submitting photos I have taken for my book which is very exciting. I am sending my publisher photos I have already taken plus will take the time to take some photos she wants me to submit. I do love what I do. I had hoped the book would have been available but I am afraid not. If you are my one and only fan, please stop by and say hello anyway. Have a wonderful long weekend.

Pastoral Counsellor, Specialist - What is it?

One of my designations is that I am a Specialist, Pastoral Counsellor. In Canada what was CAPPE is now CASC. In other words to make Pastoral Counselling more understandable to the changing culture and more inclusive for spirituality, the name has been changed to psycho-spiritual therapist. I will be resisting the new title. I have found that clients and others understand exactly what pastoral means but it appears that the meaning has been lost in hospitals, though that has never been my experience. In Ontario the only requirement is to be registered to one of the colleges. I am a Registered Psychotherapist and it is quite a rigid mandate. The college is there to help the public. In the past, anyone could have said that they were a therapist and nothing was really done to make sure that people were qualified. There is no doubt that this caused damage to people who thought they were being cared for by qualified people. It is about time that our government has taken steps to protect the public. With Pastoral or Spiritual care mostly in hospital it is not mandated that they be registered as therapists, however, crossing that line into therapy can lead to trouble for them or anyone. Since I have three designations to my name, I encorporate whatever is most applicable to the client. When I indicate that I am a Registered Therapist, a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and a Specialist Pastoral Counsellor, the client may wave away the Pastoral part, or even feel disturbed by the designation. On the other hand some will say that the Pastoral portion is very important to them. It is important for me to understand the different religions people believe in or have been betrayed by due to an abuse. At times one needs to understand or come to grips with a particular religion. At other times, a person's faith is extrememly important to them and they wish to speak about it or their spirituality. I could never ignore one aspect of a person, the whole person and that includes their faith, their spirituality or lack of. It is the client who decides what area they want to work on. Sometimes a client who is very religious is married to someone who hates religion. How do they compromise? Sometimes someone is mocked for their faith. How do they deal with that? Some have been raped and inprisoned for being Christian and not denying their faith and changing religion. How do they come to terms with the horrors they faced. I am amazed at the devotion and suffering some have sustained in other countries. We open our doors in Canada to the world and what we take for granted is considered disdain in other countries. Though I may drop my designation if I am forced to take another name which I am not comfortable using, my Masters in Ministry and Spirituality from the University of Toronto will always remain intact. However, that is my own bias.

World Religions - Buddhism and Reincarnation

BUDDHISM AND REINCARNATION By: Silva Redigonda Buddhism and Reincarnation Reincarnation is a concept beyond the understanding of many Christians who believe that there is only one life to live. Buddhism is becoming popular in North American. This paper will define reincarnation as it pertains to Buddhism and it will also be compared to reincarnation as viewed by Hinduism. Reincarnation should be examined by the most skeptic since there are numerous recorded cases where knowledge of a previous life cannot be easily dismissed. This too shall be depicted. Buddha said there is no soul. Buddha used an image of a flame being passed from candle to candle to understand his concept of reincarnation. “There is a chain of causation threading each life to those that have led up to it and those that will follow... It is possible to stop this rebirth of living different existences if one “wishes wholeheartedly to do so” (Smith, p 151). If the person now has a comfortable life, this is a reward of goodness performed in the past and present life. Those experiencing misery is a result of evil they have committed in previous existences or are committing in their present life. The individual is totally responsible for the life he is experiencing. At any given time, a minority demonstrate the ability to escape the “wheel of life” by entering a state of nirvana (a positive meaning includes bliss, release from desire etc..A negative meaning includes a state of extinction and nothingness). The karma (The good and evil effect of one’s action which is carried along to the next rebirth) of most beings necessitate their rebirth in any of the numerous heavens or hells (Masumian, pp 51 and 54). Reincarnation did not begin with Buddhism, Hinduism which is considered one of oldest religious systems in the world believes in reincarnation (Ma’sumian, p 1). However similar the two religions are, there are also differences involving the concepts of reincarnation. Buddhism is only concerned with personal eschatology as is Hinduism. There is no collective destiny for humanity as there is for Christianity. The Hindu shares the belief of countless rebirths of humans in a spectrum of evil to goodness but unlike the Buddhist believes in the human soul (atman). Individual souls (jivas) enter the world mysteriously and make their way through the universe until they break free into the limitless atmosphere of illumination (liberation). They begin as the souls of the simplest forms of life and do not vanish with the death of their original bodies (Smith, p 63). Hindus understanding of reincarnation also differs from that of Buddhism. Hindu doctrine of rebirth is attributed to Karma which is the consequences of actions in previous lives. However, the Buddhist maintains that rebirth is due to Tanha, “as long as the wish to be a separate self persisted, that wish would be granted (Smith, p 151). Reincarnation does not belong to Buddhism or Hinduism alone. In a 1981 US gallup poll it was determined that in the general population 23 % believed in reincarnation. In a 2005 US gallup poll, 20 % of the population believed in reincarnation. Though there appears to be a decrease of belief, a margin of error is to be considered. Regardless, there is no doubt that almost a quarter of the population believes in some form of reincarnation. Children Who Remember Previous Lives is a text based on a study, drawing on the information of more than 2, 500 cases children who appear to remember some type of past life. This ranges from phobias occurring in relation to a previous life ( Stevenson, p182) to the announcing of dreams in the selection of the next incarnation (Stevenson, p243) What is most baffling is the ability to speak a language not know to the youth (Stevenson, p 127). Reincarnation cannot be readily dismissed or confined to a particular religion. Reincarnation may be a mystery for some but it does require attention. I have had two professors at different times who I respected very much who were both Buddhists. Though I have never had a client who experienced any type of reincarnation, as a student pastoral counselor and/or therapist I need to be open and prepared for the possibility. Though I myself do not believe in reincarnation, I need to keep my mind open to the possibility. There is much humanity does not understand. Hinduism and Buddhism are both old and respected religions. Their beliefs should not be taken lightly. Religions seem to have some basis of mythological similarity. How much do we know is a fact and not a myth? Reincarnation is not confined to religion. When children speak with knowledge that they cannot possibly know than one must take notice. Life is a mystery and so is death and any afterlife.

Texas

I have not been to Texas but seeing each State eventually is inspiring. I had planned a tour to New Orleans when it was cancelled due to the flood. I have been watching carefully and at times wonder how I can help more. The Mayor said he wanted prayers and I did that. It is always sad to hear about loss of life. It is always terrible to hear about a police person die in the line of duty. Not enough credit, it seems, is given to those who help in the service of others until disaster hits. It brings the best and worse of people and the best over powers each time.

Family Therapy

I have found the dynamics of the family to be quite revealing in the therapy room. A client who may be just be coming out of their shell and improving in self esteem can become another person when the family is together. The person may withdraw into their self place. A woman who is quiet and submissive can become quite the matriarch in the family setting. Soft and passive in public can become quite controlling and demanding in the family therapy room. Family therapy can be quite beneficial for those who are having difficulties and need improvement in communication skills with their families and understanding of each other. People come from different experiences and raise their children as they think is best which is usually either the same as they were treated or completely the opposite or various degrees of their own learning experiences. Any form of abuse is not acceptable and can do much damage. Sometimes one seeks family therapy because one wants to reveal something to their family in a controlled environment. Sometimes, parents have difficulty understanding their offsprings because their child is so unlike them. Sometimes one child may be sensitive and creative while the other members are not and there is nothing wrong with this child whatsoever. However, because the one is different from the other siblings, than they think it is him or her. How often had I had a teen who was brilliant and more intelligent than the parents and therefore, there is difficulty understanding the young person. Sometimes there is a child with special needs and there is frustration in dealing with this. Sometimes one child or more can be more like the parents and therefore the one who is independent may be considered a rebel or worse when there is just a difference and nothing more. A book I love to recommend is Family Ties That Binds - A self-help guide to change through Family of Origin therapy, by Dr. Ronald W. Richardson. It is a easy read. If there is discord in your family, perhaps it is time to see a family therapist.

Heart felt sympathy to Spain

It is always very sad to hear about senseless deaths. Though I have never been to Barcelona, I have been to Malaga and along the Costa Del Sol. Very beautiful country. Of course at that time, I never heard of such a hateful group attacking without regard for human life. Prayers and thoughts are with you.

White Supremacy

I should be editing my book but this is too important this morning. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to Charlottesville and to the families of all involved. Killing at any protest is unacceptable but killing because there is hatred is alarming. In the news this morning there is a group to show solidarity and an American spoke to the reporters saying that Charlottesville was the first city by proclamation as a peace city. He added to not allow what is happening in the States to come here. The news also indicated that a high school teacher who I presume was one of the subject’s teacher indicated that he idolized nazism. I look at the picture of this 20 year old man and listen to his mother speak on the news thinking her son was going to a Trump rally and remember the American recruiters sitting outside university classrooms waiting for students to complete their exams and hoping to entice them to the States. I remember being in Connecticut and visiting an historical Native museum and listening to a grade school teacher instructing his students that you could tell by the face of the man in a painting that he was……….. I was surprised that he would teach in that manner. Really, you can tell by looking at a face? Look into the face of angelic looking serial killers and think again. Education is important. I remember in an undergrad class listening to some neo Nazis youths speak about the killing of Jews. Their stupidity was unbelievable. I do not think that what is happening in the States can happen here. I hope not. I remember years ago seeing a front page news photo of the KKK in a town West of Toronto and then I heard nothing of it again. I remember a white supremacy group coming to Toronto in my teens or twenties and their building let’s say was no longer functional. I never heard of them again. I do think we have problems now that I didn’t see as I was growing up. I remember watching a documentary of Toronto the good, and an American Producer, I believe his name is Moore was trying to determine what the difference was. I remember watching American movies and seeing high school kids bringing guns to school and wondered how long it would reach us. I thought it normally takes about ten years for what happens in the States to reach us, but that is not an educated guess, nor based on any facts. That is how I thought at the time. It is no secret that we have gangs in Toronto, and drugs and you would think it was legal here to have guns, the way there are shootings nowadays. Is there a way to curb this? Of course there is. I was fortunate to be raised by parents, to learn that prejudice was wrong. I was fortunate to have an education where I learned that prejudice was wrong. In elementary school we were learning about the concentration camps and reading books such as Black Like Me. We would have debates at home about what if I married a Black man and my parents would debate how that would effect me and my children. We had debates in school (in elementary school) regarding a black person being President. I was so happy when Obama became President but feared for him as well because of all that white supremacy. Since Trump has been elected I have seen a country divided. Even here a Judge got into trouble for wearing one of those “Make American Great Again” baseball caps, during a session. He now has quite a few complaints against him and I think that retirement may be in the forecast. Don’t quote me. That is just a presumption. I try to stay away from politics. I really do, but it is difficult not to. As for myself when I go to an area which is all white and I see a black person, I feel a kinship with the black person. I live in a multicultural city where there is every kind of skin colour, shade, religion, spirituality, etc….The food is amazing and as a young person, I would go out to all the different restaurants and experience the different type of foods. Today I am a vegetarian and so I do not eat meat and Toronto again offers a variety. When I leave Toronto I find that vegetarians and vegans are still not catered to as we should be. Eliminating meat from a plate does not make the cut. When I travelled in the States during holidays driving to New York or Disney world, I always go off the main highway to visit attractions. I am usually asked if I am from New York. When I say I am from Canada, I hear the complaints about how some people from urban cities treat them as if they are less. I have always liked the States. I grew up with American television before we could make a decent movie. I grew up when kids in Toronto would be asked who the Prime Minister was and they would say the President’s name. We have caught up big time. The American in the news this morning was grieving for his Virginia. I have driven through Virginia and found it beautiful and the people there gracious and inviting. One day I hope to drive right through all the States or at least many of them. I know there are many intelligent people living and working in the States. There is an obligation for all of us to make this world a better place, no matter how small our contribution. It begins with helping others. It can be merely a smile which can have a domino response. I am sorry about what happened in Charlottesville. I am sorry for the Mayor who is grieving as well. We perhaps all need to revamp the education system and teach not from bias, but with kindness. We need to educate all people based on facts and not “fake ness” which is projected by those who are. If we do not change, we are headed toward self destruction. We have such capabilities today but if we do not have the emotional intelligence and sensitivity to match, we can be in great trouble. It is time that we heal our planet and those within it. It is time to teach and learn and offer youth the opportunity to do so regardless of their finances. We can all be the best we can be and in the process drive out that poisonous hate which only destroys. What do you think?

My books - The Internet Murders" Update

I received transcript back from my publisher and so I just finished reading about 30 minutes ago. How I review my work is by reading it out loud. So, it takes a while longer. In my therapy work, I do active listening and I suppose I am actively reading trying to make sure there are no errors. It is surprising how many people can read something and still find something wrong. I wrote this book, reviewed it four times and sent it off. Now it has been returned and I am picking up a few errors here and there. I must admit my brain was fried and I took a break having a brunch with coffee in a serene park like back yard, playing with some animals afterward and debating going for a walk to clear my head or do some other work. I opted to wait for my postman before making any final decisions. I want to get this book out and want to review it as quick as possible, but I also spent too much time on it to rush it away. I had dedicated this book to a very good friend of mine who has died before it was published. I also sent this book off to a few publishers but it is hard to get a big publisher to look at you without an agent. It would cost me too much to send my books to the different book stores. So, while I focus on my private practise, my writing is still my hobby which I love and have been doing all my life. I do sell my books at www.silvaredigonda.com I know it is a pain because I used Go Daddy which does not have a button to connect to Canada Post. However, I did expand my private practice web site with them for convenience. Plus they gave me a good deal. I am not upgrading to a modern site because I do not have the time to do everything over and if I want them to do it, it will cost $500. so I am learning as I am making my own mistakes. So I will share this with you. I wasted time taking a web design course and learning computer language. My recommendation is save the time and money. I took it with the local education evening courses and if they knew anything about web design, they would eliminate the course. Then check with the shipping department before signing up for a shopping site. When I called Canada Post the first time when I finished my first book, they were behind the times and could not advise me. MY next plan is to have a shopping cart from Canada to be able to ship it anywhere in the world. So, I have learned by my own experiences and errors. Live and learn and try to make sure you use that expression - the cart before the horse or the horse before the cart? Which one was it? Exactly. So, if you want to buy one of my books you may order on line, or pick one up at my office. When this next book is ready for publication I may get an additional shopping cart Canadian User Friendly. Write this down if you want to come and see me where I will be signing and selling my books: 16 Sept 17, Fairbanks Park in Toronto. This is just North from my office, between Eglinton and Rogers on the East side. There is parking in the area and at the park. On the 24th of Sept 17, I will be back at Word on the Street at the Harbour Front, Toronto. November 7, 2017, I will be back at York University, for Show Case in Central Square. I always love going back to York University because I always see people I know there. At Word on The Street I have only one fan who faithfully returns every year. I was sure I would have my third book ready for her but there is no way it will be done that fast. After I review it, it will be formatted and return to me once again for final reading and I do read it all over again to ensure there are no errors. So, I hope you can be patient with me. Remember I do readings so if you have a book club, consider me. Also, if you want me to come and talk about psychotherapy, I am prepared to come and do that as well. I love what I do and I do hope you find something you have a passion for as well. What do you think?

Couple Therapy

Couple Therapy Couple therapy helps people to communicate their feelings and wants from their partners. It is not about who is right or wrong, but how to maintain a healthy balance. There may be people who have distinct roles in their relationships and they may also be quite traditional. If they are both happy with those roles, than fine. However, in some relationships there may be an imbalance in power and that is when problems may occur. One person may have been silent for years and then suddenly finds that he or she has had enough and wants to leave the relationship. I have found that it does not matter how long a person has been married, there is always an element of surprise when one partner reveals what the other didn’t know about the partner. I usually ask for two months of sessions if it is required which decreases as the couple feels fit. Normally, the first few sessions can be very emotional. Much has been kept withheld or there has been emotional fighting at home which drowns the ability to listen to each other. There is name calling etc…..In the therapy room this is controlled and clients learn to listen which can take several sessions. Couples learn how to be couples from their own perspectives from seeing how their own parents interacted. Some couples live very separate lives with one party having an affair to avoid working on his or her relationship. This is referred to as a triangle. One may avoid his partner by working and spending time away in the garage etc……I do not judge people regarding how they choose to live. I do not take sides. It is not about taking sides. It is about one person who has had a different life and identity finding a partner who has also had a separate life, coming together and deciding to become a couple. What one may find not to be a problem, maybe very much for the other. Therapy is about learning how to respect each other and finding that balance in their relationship which is mutual for both. I have barely touched the surface and if anyone has any questions for me please feel free to ask. I will not see couples where one is not willing to let go a person he or she is having an affair with. This defeats the purpose of couple therapy. I also do not take sides regardless of who is paying for the sessions. If I find that the therapy as an ulterior motive, than I will recommend that the couple see another therapist. What is also very important for any type of therapy is that when one is not comfortable with their therapist, than they should find another. What do you think?

Drugs

I attended a lecture regarding Opioid Crisis: Understanding Community-Based Clinical Approach. Adler Faculty of Continuing Education will be providing a six day program regarding drugs, however, for my own requirements and private practice, I think what I attended is more than sufficient. As you know addiction was never one of my interests however this has had to change considering how often people suffer from addiction. This does not only affect themselves, but their spouses and children and entire families live with the addiction. As you also know I am opposed to the legalization of marijuana, though many are for it as was one or two of the speakers. One of the speakers feels all drugs should be legalized and there is talk about this according to him. However, I have concerns especially where the underdeveloped mind is concerned. The speaker who impressed me the most is Dr Samin Hasham, Pharm D. She indicated that 50% of accidental over doses are from opioids. Canada and the USA has the highest lead of all nations. One person dies every 13 hours from an overdose; 1 to 8 youths, 25 to 34 years of age from oxycontin and other opioids. Accidental overdoses are the 3rd leading cause of deaths. According to a Canadian study, prescriptions for high dose opioids are on the rise. There are more than 13 hospitalizations a day in Canada. Median age is 44 (of Opioid overdose). Cocaine is a comeback in Toronto. In Colorado (USA) heroine is cheap. 18 year olds are having health issues as a result, which will come here. The drugs come from the far East to Vancouver Island. Regarding prescription drugs physicians are now being monitored. Now if one person has a prescription and fills it there is a record and if the person goes to another pharmacy there is an alert. Eventually, everything will be fully automated. You will no longer get a prescription. You will go to the pharmacy and all medication required will be on the computer and then the physician in real time can see. What I thought was quite sad is that until 2017 there was no tracking of homeless people having overdoses. Wayne Skinner was another speaker who described Opioid as a pain reliever but also that it provides pleasure that one may want to be in. He indicated that people like to be high. He spoke about methadone treatment, evidence based in the USA, the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s stabilized lives and if more psycho social even a better outcome. Canada was opposed. “We subjected them to get off methadone in one year.” He indicated that the worse thing during the 80’s was HIV. He indicated needles should only be used once and not a lifetime. He indicated that our philosophy has changed. Today there is a strong focus for abstinence. There are waiting lists for rehab for 200 capacity. There was a lobby for more methadone treatment. Four of five overdoses deaths are men. He questions why abstinence is the only approach. He spoke of one clinic where patients are overdosing and the staff is suffering. He indicates that self care is very important for staff. Fentanyl is quick in and out (2 to 4 hours). It is 100 times stronger than morphine and 50 times stronger than heroin. Street Fentanyl is 2mg, which is equal to just 2 grains of salt. Carfentanil is not meant for humans. In Toronto it has killed four people to date (lecture held 6 Jul 17). 20 micrograms (like a snowflake) can kill you. One million doses of Fentanyl will fit in a shoe box. One million of Carfentanil will fit in a golf ball. One to three hours after taking the drug, the heart stops, coma, death. If you are in Toronto and want to do something to help your addiction call 416-535-8501. This is an intake system (CAMH) A screener will respond. You may also call Connex Ontario. They have access to all addiction clinics in Ontario and there is a 24 hour service. CAMH assessment can refer to North Bay. Ontario Health Care. As I am completing my notes here, I remember one speaker talking about the requirement to need more of the drug which is problematic. One may stop for example if going into prison and come out and take the same dose as before he entered prison. He then may overdose and dies and this does happen. I hope this information helps you all. For those of you who work at borders be mindful that powerful mega doses can fit in such small places as mentioned above. If you are an addict be mindful of how easy it is to overdose. Is it time to go to re-hab? What do you think?

Fr Bill German S.J.

A week ago Saturday, I telephoned my almost 92 year old friend, a retired priest who doesn’t know the meaning of retirement. He was as usual very excited to hear from me. “How is the book coming?” He was referring to the Internet Murders. He knew the book was dedicated to him which made it all the more exciting. After a bit he told me that he had lost his appetite, that he wasn’t eating and that he was praying for God to come and take him. Of course I was not ready to hear that and told him he had to stay. I asked if he wanted to go to the Mandarin and he said he would go with me but would not eat since he could not. I was going to visit him in the near future. Last Saturday I was notified that he had died two days after our conversation at noon. I had debated going out to play or work in the house, when I opened up my computer to see if my publisher had sent me any feedback on my book. Immediately I saw the caption with Bill German from a mutual friend and I knew. The funeral mass would be at Our Lady of Lourdes and I shut my computer, all priorities changing. I changed and departed to see my old friend for one last time. There was a parking space available and I was pleased. I entered the church and at the rear was a coffin with my friend inside. There were posters of pictures with lots of people at different times of his life. I paused to see a younger version of himself which surprised me. I only knew him for nine years and that was as an older man. A brochure was handed out, listing his accomplishments. He was born September 1,1925, in Toronto, Ontario. It did not say that his father was a judge. He entered the Jesuits in Jul 30, 1943, Joseph Monaghan/Novice Master. He had Juniorate Studies in Guelph, 1945-47; Philosophy studies at Immaculee Conception, Montreal, 1947-1950; He was a teacher at Addis-Ababa, Ethiopia, 1950-1953. He studied Theology at Regis, 1953-54. Theology studies at St Mary’s, Kurseion, India, 1954-57. He was ordained a Priest in Kurseong, India on Nov 21, 1956. Tertianship at Hazaribagh, Darjeeling, India, 1958-59. Teacher, Headmaster, Pastor, Calcutta, Siliguri, Gayaganga 1959-70. Special student, Regis College, 1970-71. Teacher, Retreat Director, Chaplain, North Point, Darjeeling 1971-85. Special Student- Spiritual Exercises, Guelph, Ontario, 1985-86. Associate Pastor at Our Lady of Lourdes, Toronto, 1986-2014. Ministry of Prayer, Rene Goupil House, Pickering, 2014-2017. Who was Bill German? He was my Pastoral Counsellor. He was my Spiritual Director. He was my confidant. But most of all, he was my dear friend. We spent many evenings having supper out, because we both loved food. We had discussions and we had arguments and best of all we had fun. So as I looked down at my old friend, I saw a body with make up on his face and knew that he was no longer here. He was now where he wanted to be with God (Not yet said our mutual friend as we discussed later). As part of my studies before becoming a therapist and Pastoral Counsellor my self, it was required that I had my own therapy. I could not have had anyone better as I suffered watching others suffer with chronic diseases, as I suffered watching people die, as I suffered watching others suffer. My suffering turned into compassion and empathy as I learned to accept things as they are. I found my own guidance from him as I now help others. If I am a fraction of the person he was than I am pleased with myself. As I took my seat at the rear of the church, I felt it was wrong to turn my back to Fr Bill. I sat there grateful that I had checked my emails. I sat there grateful that he had been my friend. I did not have time to mourn. I was still in a state of I do not know what. Shock? Surprise? I refused to let him go. I was adamant of keeping him here. My need surpassed his of wanting to be with God. I saw our mutual friend who came to sit with me. It was he who sent me to him when I needed to fulfill this academic requirement with my second program I was in for Pastoral Counselling. The church filled quickly and then the mass begun. One person fainted. One man was sobbing so much, I thought I had to go help him, but he eventually controlled his grief. Then his eulogy begun and I heard how much he was there for everyone, how he loved his food, how he loved everyone. I heard how I was not the only person not wanting him gone. How many of us wanted to hold on to him? Ironically this morning I read a passage in the bible, “Jesus said to her, “”Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?…. Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father.””(Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene). It made me think how much we want to keep our loved ones here but how we need to let go. At the end of the eulogy, I realized that the affect this man and priest had on me was shared with all those in the mass. We loved him. We cared about him and wanted to hold on to him and why not? He had meant so much. I remember when I was formally seeing him. He wanted me to begin reading/praying the breviary. “If God wanted me to have a breviary, he would make it more affordable!” I blurted out. It was last summer that he gave me one, when I asked for it. In it he wrote “May God Bless you as you pray Fr Bill GJ” I have been reading it, studying it, and praying it since. He wanted me to have one for priests. By the end of the mass I was feeling elated. I realized I had to let go and celebrate his life and not grieve it. Our mutual friend and I went out to the Scarborough Bluffs to eat where Fr Bill and I ate last summer. It was not an easy chore because I had to push his wheel chair and it was no easy feat getting him in and out of my car. He had no qualms asking for help and he taught me it was ok. I had learned to be independent. That was the guidance from my own father. However, Fr Bill taught me the importance of balance in this department. He taught me this from watching him interacting with others. Then our mutual friend and I went to the boardwalk and we talked about life, religion, culture, war, etc…..in an environment of nature as we watched the blue lake. It was a beautiful day full of sun and warmth and food. We ended the day at a pub where we ate a pizza. I think it was a perfect day to celebrate the life of Fr Bill. I will continue to miss him, but in many ways he has left his mark on me. He has taught me by example how to care for others. He has taught me how to open my arms and reach out in pastoral care. He has taught me how to be a better person. Good bye my dear friend. I will learn how to let you go. I just need some time.