A bit of me

It is the weekend once again and plans have been thwarted because of a death.  I shall be with family.  I will be writing about grief eventually, but not today.  I have started writing  my "Memory" notes which I hope some of you will read.  It is ironic that I am writing about memory as it applies to psychology, as I am retrieving my own memory codes to write my second book.  I had always planned to write this one away from the city.  My dream was to write, where I was away at some mysterious cottage near the water with no distractions (except a nearby cafe, by the water).  But, life gets in the way.  Since studying so much these last years and working, I realize that this spring will be my lightest weight since my first retirement.  I am enjoying this period as I take pause.  I should be focused to sell my first book more actively, but I am a novice and I still have another plan for that.  I will find some post box where I can perhaps have people send me some funds and then I can mail it out to them where ever they are.  Maybe I will get lucky.  I am positive.  I wrote that one for fun and the reaction was quite interesting.  Some felt I was telling men what to do, others thought I was great and others hated me.  I don't know why I was surprised.  I wrote it with fun and humour and just looked at it, from my perspective.  We all have our own perspectives and we react accordingly.  I will eventually be posting some short reports on transference and counter-transference.  I studied this, regarding how it pertains to clients, but like everything else that we study or live, we can utilize it across different fields.  So, I should have known better and not have been surprised by the reactions that I received.  I was playing in the form of a book, that took me two months to write and to finally discover how hard it is to publish a book and have an income as a novice.  This second book is different.  I have to retrieve my memory, look at notes and journals and pause.  It is from my soul.  It is, I am discovering, looking at my younger self and wanting to protect her.  This one will sell, I presume because it is about history and growth.  I have gone back in time and as I write, I have become the young woman, that I once was.  I write each morning and then I do all the other things one does in life. 
     I encourage everyone to live one's dreams, as I have lived mine, and continue to do so.  We go through different stages (as you are getting a sense of by my blogs or/and your own knowledge) and we are provided with different roadways.  Which road do you take?  Can you take it?  I remember a psychologist professor, telling us that we may not be able to make a client happy, but we will be able to do is make them less sad and their life more manageable.  Why not take a moment again this weekend to examine your life.  Are you happy?  Why not?  Is there something you can do to change that?    What is it that you can change, that can help you accomplish that?     Are you with people who are making you miserable?  Why are you keeping yourself in that position?  Are you in an abusive relationship?  Do you have an escape plan?  (I will help you with that as well, later).  Remember that balance is important.  You need that time for yourself.  You need to nurture yourself.  Have a nice weekend and do something for fun if you can.     

To what extent can psychology shed light on memory with age?

Memory:  a complex dynamic system of information registration, manipulation, storage and retrieval.  Human memory may be studied from two perspectives:
 Information processing perspective (IP) and biological perspective (BP)

IP - studies mental operations involved in remembering.  Mental Operations are functions involved between the perception of information and its use.  IP studies the changes that take place  within and across individuals with age in IP activities.


external events > sensory memory  - as pay more attention encoding > short term memory > encoding.

Reasons for forgetting 1.  Encoding failure leads to forgetting.  2.  Retrieval failure leads to forgetting. 3.  Repression - Long Term - not conscience;  Short Term - conscious/ working memory.

> Long term memory (same reasons for forgetting apply).

Assumptions of IP approach:  Humans are active--they seek and manipulate information.  Humans can work with a limited amount of information on the conscious level.  Humans transform information into storageable units to be retrieved later.

Processes in IP application  1.  Encoding involves labelling information or attaching a code to it so it can be filed and retrieved, eg. names of relatives, friends, places I have visited et.....Encoding involves arranging information; creating mental associations.  Older adults can through instruction improve encoding skills.

2. Storage -  Place material into a file.  However, material may decay and need to be reconstructed on the basis of memory traces of the experience to be remembered.

There are three types of Memory Storage.  Sensory memory involves registration of sights, sounds, smells and is a temporary memory.  Echoic memory exists for sounds and iconic memory for sights.  This memory declines little with age.  Sperling in the 1960's showed that one's sensory memory for visual stimuli is a complete record of the stimulus and with proper cuing one can recall several items immediately after the initial presentation of the stimulus.

to be continued .........    

Mental Health, cont..psychology notes-b. Behavioral Models and c.

Behavioral Models:  Here the individual has an active role in relation to managing environmental demands. Coping involves learned adaptations.  Successful adaptations lead to stress-reduction and the strategies used become part of the behavioral repertoire for coping with stress.  If escape, avoidance or active coping with a stressor is not successful, the individual may learn to endure the stressor and adapt through learned helplessness.

c.  Coping Style Models:

    Fairly stable styles that emphasize thoughts and attitudes as variables in coping - Coping here is a form of problem solving.  For example Valliant (1970's) identified four kinds of adaptive mechanisms or characteristic ways of coping -  mature, neurotic, immature and psychotic. 
     Those who used mature mechanisms were healthier and happier.  For Lazarus coping is struggle not success, managment not mastery.

Cognitive- Appraisal Model:  Coping occurs in situations that a person perceives as taxing and requiring effort.  People choose a strategy depending on their cognitive appraisal of the situation.  Because the situation is constantly changing, coping is a dynamic process.  Choosing the most appropriate strategy requires constant re-apprisal of the situation.

Note two modes of coping
1.  Emotion focused is directed toward feeling better - managing emotional responses.
2.  Problem focused is directed toward eliminating, managing or improving a stressful condition. 

With God In Russia (book review)

 With God in Russia by Walter J. Ciszek, S.J.     Silva Redigonda

     With God in Russia is about a young Jesuit priest who suffers twenty-three years in Soviet prisons and Siberian Labor Camps under suspicion of being a spy for the Vatican. It portrays a loss of innocence from sufferings endured and seen.  But more importantly it tells a journey of his relationship with God who helped him throughout this ordeal of pain.

     Father Ciszek's story begins in 1939. His journey is taking place at a time when millions died, a Great War was fought, the hydrogen bomb was invented, and four Popes reigned, which covers much of the 19^th century.  The author restricts opinions but rather allows the reader to form them.  The author manages to provoke thought and incorporates much of the images of the 19^th century political and religious arena.  Pieces of information is received from the author and transcended to the reader to allow reflection for the time period between his life in confinement and the outside world.

          The central idea is how cruel people can be to each other.  This is manifested by how suspicious people can become of the Catholic Church.  The most important theme is how God is with us everywhere making life bearable when it isn't. It shows humanity at its worse and at its best.  Cruelty is demonstrated by beatings, torturing, and killings occurring within the camps and among the prisoners themselves.  The reader travels along with Father Ciszek and feels the escalation of his hunger, his pain, and the omissions of the basics of human needs such as water and food. Soap is a luxury. It shows humanity at its best by the kindness still evident by some to help others at the risk of their own safety.  It shows God's guiding hand in helping Father Ciszek to serve mass; listen to confession when possible and keeping him alive.  The author successfully portrays the hypocrisy of communism by the contrast of power.  It illustrates beatings of Father Ciszek, as he insists that he is not a spy.  It depicts how a priest must be silent of who he is when religion is considered an evil. Father Ciszek is very convincing in portraying his life objectively.  There is goodness in those imprisoned for murder, within the guards and within the medical profession.  Father Ciszek permits us to see as he sees humanity, the balance of goodness and evil, the misinterpretations that occur as being suspect of the religious, even among good men.              

   There are two metaphors in the biography, which brings everything together politically, and display a balance of good/evil in humanity.  The first is the image of a Pope shaking hands with a Russian leader at the same time that priests and nuns are imprisoned and treated poorly.  The second, which is also the climax of the story, is portrayed when Father Ciszek is walking along with other prisoners, after Stalin's death where they are being transferred to be shortly released from confinement. Father Ciszek observes a mother bird tending to her young chicks and the father bird is watching over the nest.  This image relaxes the priest and fills him with a joy he hasn't experienced for so long.  He reflects on his own relationship with his own father.  Entranced he marvels to a fellow prisoner.  The prisoner grabs a stone and throws it at the mother bird, killing her. The prisoner is quite pleased with his aim, oblivious to the end of life he has caused. Father Ciszek demonstrates his first and only display of anger and disgust. "… I began to shake all over, completely beside myself with rage.  I shouted and raved at him almost irrationally until, stunned; he turned on his heel and walked away.  I spat on the ground behind him in anger.  That night I fell into a mood of depression that lasted for more than two days."  After enduring so much, his moment of joy is destroyed.  It all comes together, the senselessness of it all.

     This book is highly recommended.  Once one begins to read it and become part of Father Ciszek's life, it is difficult to put the book down.  One becomes completely immersed.  This is a book for everyone because it teaches life.  It shows good and bad of everyone.  Even though Father Ciszek suffered greatly, he also depicts the good in Russia, in the people.  By the time you have finished reading Father's Ciszek's book you have fallen in love with him.                           

Mental Health cont....Models of Coping - environmental approaches (notes-psychology).

Examine Life Events, their frequency, complexity, and demands for coping.  Holmes and Rahe (1960's) serial readjustment rating scale.  This scale ranks life events in terms of seriousness or severity.  Each life event is a stressor that demands some adjustment or adaption to many life events in too short a period of time, is correlated with potential for illness of a physical and/or psychological nature.  Thus, the more major changes one faces, the more likely one may become ill.  Humans are seen as reactors.  This approach does not consider people as actors and interpreters of events.  Nor does it consider the timing of events as important.  Nor the lack of sufficient challenge (boredom) as stressful.  Further, health may depend on mastering on-going irritations.  Finally, this model ignores individual differences in stress resistance or diathesis (vulnerability).  

Congruence Model -  This model recognizes that people's needs differ and so do the environments that meet those needs when person and environment are congruent, eg.  An independent person in an environment that requires self sufficiency.  Such a match reduces stress.  Where as a dependant person in such an environment is incongruent or "mismatched" and this leads to stress.

Environmental pressure -  environments make different demands or pressure.  Further, individuals have different competencies or abilities to meet these pressures or demands.  When the person and environment are matched than adaption takes place and the person is comfortable.  Thus, as people age, if their competencies decrease but the pressure of the environment remains the same or becomes more demanding, this may lead to an inability to meet demands and a failure at adaption occurs followed by stress.  Thus, a person must change to meet the demand or the demand must change to be fitted to the person's competencies.

cont......(with Behavioral models)

Mental Health (notes, psychology, personality cont..

Definition of mental health -  Living a meaningful life in a particular set of physical and social circumstances utilizing personal and social resources. 

Mental Disorder (The consequence of living less than a meaningful life) may be defined as personal qualities that interfere with normal cognitive functioning and social roles.  Most common disorders are clinical - depression, substance dependence and anxiety disorders such as phobias.

A.  Social Variables associated with mental disorders - poverty, low-income urban dwellers, men in regards to substance abuse and anti social behavior, women in regards to depression and anxiety disorders. Younger adults are subject to emotional problems and older adults to impaired cognitive functioning.

Models of Coping:  Adaptive thinking and behavior that reduces, relieves stress that arise from demands, pressures, harmful or threatening conditions.  There are four models or approaches to the study of coping.
a.  environmental
b.  behavior
c.  coping styles and cognitive appraisal models.

Each model provides a way of understanding  the relation between the individual and the demands that environmental events place upon the individual  for adaption.

to be continued (a, b and c will be broken down for you)

Problems with Stage Models - Personality -Psychology notes cont......

a.  based on male development.
b.  Cohorts with different experiences; may develop differently.
c.  models have not been tested in other countries.  For example: in studies of male development in India, the emphasis is on spiritual development which is never fully achieved.  Each of the four stages are a preparation for the next stage.  First,  is an obedient student.  Second, a householder.  Third, a retreat from family and civic duties in a quest for self and finally, the fourth stage of a wandering holy beggar casting off all that identifies him.  He enters a stage of harmony with all that is around him.

 

The Pentateuchal Narratives

The Pentateuchal Narratives                Silva Redigonda              

     The study of the Old Testament is not restricted to theology.  The Old Testament is also an historical account stemming from the roots of humanity in literary form.  This paper will explain the documentary hypothesis that accounts for the divergent materials in the Pentateuchal narratives.   This paper will define what the Pentateuchal Narratives is, what the documentary hypothesis is, and provide examples of what these divergent materials are.

        Pentateuch is a common name for what the Jews call the Torah, which is the Law or the Law of Moses.  The Pentateuch is a five-fold book because it encompasses the first five books of the Old Testament that includes Genesis, Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus and Deuteronomy.[1]  The Pentateuch tells the story from creation to the death of Moses.[2]

     A series of scholars contributed to the development of what became known as the Documentary Hypothesis for the formation of the Pentateuch.  Richard Simon (d.1712) a French Catholic priest was one of the first to question the sole authorship of the Pentateuch by Moses and to propose that it was rather a compilation of diverse documents.  Simon noted inconsistencies such as Moses’ description of his own death and burial in Deuteronomy 34:1-8 (Ceresko, p 59).  Moses could not have written the account of his own death.  Attention was gradually drawn to repetitions and contradictions that the Torah was not the work of one author but of a compilation long after the time of Moses (Collins, p 48).  hHHh

  Internal discrepancies are also found in the creation and flood accounts.  Genesis 2:4b-25 has human beings created first, while Genesis 1:1-2:4 has placed them last.  We now understand the two creation accounts to reflect two sources from different time periods in Israel’s history, representing a different theology of creation that have been interwoven (Ceresko, p 59).  In 1735, Jean Astruc, a convert to Catholicism who became the private physician to King Louis XV, noted that in some passages of Geneses, God is referred to as Elohim, the general Hebrew word for God and in other passages of Genesis, God is called Yahweh.   Some of these passages as in Gen1:1- 2:4 a, and various passages dealing with genealogies were recognized as a Priestly source that is extensive in Leviticus.  The remaining narrative was observed as a combination of the Yahwistic source and an Elohistic one.  For much of the 19^th century it was assumed that the Priestly document was the oldest of the Pentateuch.  In the 1860’s this theory was revised and the Priestly source was viewed as the latest or next to latest.

     Astruc’s early observation was gradually developed by later scholars into a full fledged documentary hypothesis, which addressed the composition of the entire Pentateuch.  The book of Pentateuch was recognized as a distinct source (Collins, p 49).   

     There are also doublets, or various forms of the same story.  Examples are the two versions of the flood intertwined in Genesis 6-9.  Abraham identifying his wife Sarah as his sister to a foreign King in two separate stories and in a third story, Abraham identifies his wife Rebekah as his sister.  There are two different accounts of Abraham’s dealings with Hagar and Ishmael and two accounts of the naming of Beersheba.  These doublets are not confined to Genesis or to the narrative material.  There are also variant accounts of the crossing of the Red Sea in Exodus and different accounts of the revelation of the commandments in Exodus 10-20 and in Deuteronomy.  The mountain of the revelation is variously named Sinai or Horeb.  The Ten Commandments is given three times with some variations (Exod 20: 1-17; 34:10 – 28; Deut 5:6-18).  This is to name but a few (Collins, p 50).     

     When it became clear that the Pentateuch was not written by Moses, the dates when passages were written was studied.  German scholar De Wette (1780 -1849) demonstrated that the Book of Deuteronomy differs from the preceding books of the Pentateuch and is the product of a different and somewhat later author because Deuteronomy 12 restricts sacrificial worship to the place that YHWH chooses and calls for the destruction of all the places of worship at high places.  This law is in contrast to the historical practice of Israelite religion.  Prophets such as Amos, who condemned cult practice at bethel and other sanctuaries, never appealed to a law forbidding worship at more than one place (Collins, p 59).  Recent debates about the Pentateuch show that the reconstruction of earlier forms of the biblical text is very speculative.  The texts are composite and incorporate layers from different eras; a collection of traditional materials.  Some elements of the Priestly stand were added long after the Babylonian exile.  There were some Deuteronomic additions in the earlier books, but the extent of the editing remains in dispute (Collins, p 64).

      This paper has defined the term Pentateuchal Narratives to be the first five books of the Old Testament.  The documentary hypothesis addressed the composition of the entire Pentateuch and this paper has explained the documentary hypothesis that accounts for the divergent materials in the Pentateuchal narratives which were derived and combined from independent, parallel narratives into current form.  As more scrolls are found and examined from different eras of history, the more we can grow closer to appreciating literature through time, history and our respective theology.  

---

[1] Ceresko, Anthony.  An Introduction to the Old Testament, New York: Orbis, Maryknoll, 2001.  P 57.  

[2]Collins, John J. Introduction to the Hebrew Bible.  Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2004.  P 47.    

Personality....cont....psychology notes - Levinson

The "life structure" model - This emphasizes a plan or design for living organized around family; work.  People go through transitions whereby they re-appraise their life structure and accounts for change.

In the novice phase, a person has a dream or vision and there usually is a mentor who offers guidance and inspiration. 

In the culmination phase, a person settles down, sets his goals and achieves them.

Mid-life phase is where turmoil may ensue due to life changes and re-appraisal.

Easter, School is over!!!!!!!!! TTC, the better way?

     I spent Easter with family.  I found myself blowing bubbles for my mother.  She reminded me that when I was young, she would mix soap with water for me to create the bubbles.  I did not intend to blow bubbles.  It was within a chocolate gift pack I had bought for her.  As I blew the bubbles, I observed the beautiful crystalized colours within, floating into the sky.  I imagined the creation of planets being spewed forth into the universe.  I had a renewed appreciation for my mother who had taught me that I could be who ever I wanted, and who taught me that people were all equal and deserving of love and justice.  I also appreciated that I could also play as a child does and that it is ok.  We all need to play.  What is your version of play and how often do you do it?  Eventually, I gave my toy to a little boy who managed to use up all the bubbles in five minutes to my hour or so.  

     Yesterday, was my last day of my second advance Pastoral Counselling Education.  When I think of how much I have spent on education, I want to hide my head under my pillow and cry.  Yesterday was great as I completed another phase of my journey.  We had a great farewell and another certificate that I file away,  but I know it is not quite the end.  The graduates plan to unite once a month or so.  I will have to eventually update my profile, for the next stage.  I still have another two years of papers to write, since  studying is never over.  Nor should it be when working with clients.
      Now I hope to spend more time writing my own book.  There are just so many hours in a day. 
      Yesterday was interesting as I pondered about my changing city.  On the subway platform, on my way to school a woman shoved me aside, as she raced into the subway train.  I don't quite know why I felt so calm.  I continued to walk into the subway train and the doors closed against my arms.  That hurt!  I wondered how an elderly woman would have fared?  I felt shoved and beaten up and it wasn't even 0830.    Returning home, there was a large lineup for the bus.  We got in after much grumbling among the small crowd who intimidated others to get in first.  The driver was shutting the doors after telling the rest outside that the bus was full.  A man began shouting for the driver to f--k off.  There was a lot of tension and anger floating around.  The driver remained polite and appologized for the lack of buses.
     At another stop, he tried to prevent people from entering, as there was no room.  A woman stood firm, telling him that she was not leaving and there was some more rude banter directed at the driver.  He seemed to handle that well and asked everyone to please move to the back.  Somehow, that happend.
    After a few minutes a woman told another not to shove and that caused another spew of anger.  An elderly woman came in and I offered her my seat.  This prompted a man to offer his seat as well.
    As I left the bus thinking, that if this had been my first experience with the TTC, it would have been my last.  And we need more rails, in a congested city in lieu of subways??????????  I appologized to the driver for all the abuse he had taken and so gracefully.  I really felt bad for him.  "They couldn't pay me enough to do your job" I told him.  He thanked me.  I wondered what had happened to my beloved city.  Who are these people?  I hoped that the tourists did not get a taste of this from the once Toronto, the good.  The sadness of  all this is that there were children learning that it is ok to swear at a driver and to disregard any rules he needs to follow.  Children that day learned that it is ok to disrespect each other and that yelling gets results.
     I wondered why I was still calm and realized that I do not need to take the bus anymore.  I reminded myself that I have a car, as well.  Maybe it was also the satisfaction of having a wonderful Easter with family and a wonderful last day of school.  How was your Holy week?

  

Personality - cont.....notes psychology - Valliant

Valliant:  reporting on the development of members of the Grant study begun in the late 1930's.  Valliant observed a typical pattern of progression, from dependency on parents to autonomy, to career consolidation, to mid life transition, to generativity, tranquility; more expressive and nurturant.  As the participants became older, Valliant noted four kinds of adaptive mechanisms or characteristic ways of coping.

a. Mature - using humour and helping others

b.  Neurotic (normal) using repression and reactive formation

c.  Immature  -  fantasy and imagining symptons

d.  Psychotic (serious) -  distoring or denying reality


to be cont... with Levinson 

The Intimacy of Women (Three books review)

When I was an undergrad, I would take an English course to take a break from psychology, whenever I felt the need to.  Normally, we would read a book a week and dissect it to death.  I don't really like this paper, but what the heck. 

     THE  INTIMACY

               OF

          WOMEN

BY:  Silva Redigonda

                                                     THE INTIMACY OF WOMEN

        A woman’s role as a mother, friend, sister or even a lover, changes, evolves and adapts according to circumstances and time.  As a woman grows older and confronts new challenges, the intimacy she shares with others may grow or eventually diminish.  The Stone Diaries[1], Charlotte and Claudia Keeping In Touch[2] and  Mrs V’s life history[3]  illustrate and analyze the roles played by female friendships, sibling relationships, mothers, and partners.  What will be demonstrated is how intimacy is expressed by sharing knowledge, secrets, joys and pain and how it changes the role of a woman as she grows older into the woman she finally becomes.

                                                          THE YOUNGER YEARS

            A woman’s younger years are a time of discovery.  She develops her role as a woman and is provided with the tools to grow into what she is to become.  These tools are her relationships with those who are closest to her.

            The text, Charlotte and Claudia Keeping in Touch depict the role of friendship between Charlotte and Claudia.  Claudia reminisces as she writes to her friend Charlotte, of how much she admired Charlotte in those early years, and how confident Charlotte always was (Barfoot, pg 16).  Claudia makes an important remark, “I never felt I chose you.  I always believed you chose me.” (Barfoot, pg 16)   She reflects how she continued this path in her later years with her partner too choosing her, “I didn’t choose Bradley, either.” (Barfoot, pg 16)  Her lack of self-esteem is visible as she questions what her friend and partner saw in her that she cannot see in herself (Barfoot, pgs 14 & 16).  As young women they shared intimate knowledge, Charlotte no longer a virgin, marveled at the male’s body while Claudia still a virgin listened (Barfoot, pg 35).  Slowly their roles become evident, Charlotte growing confident and independent and Claudia becoming timid and seeming somewhat fragile.

            The Stone Diaries explore the relationships of Daisy Goodwill.  It reflects the bond established between three young women where time together and the sharing of knowledge and joys achieves. "Sometimes Daisy thinks that she and Fraidy and Beans are like one person…all the years they were at Tudor Hall…and then going off to Long College together.”   (Shields, pg 109)

Daisy appears quite liberal and unabashed as she discusses her future mother-in-law’s comments with her bridesmaids and close friends, Elfreda (Fraidy) and Labina (Beans), “She means a bee-day, Elfreda Hoyt told  Daisy” (Shields, pg 105) explaining what her mother-in-law had referred to when advising her in preparation for marriage.  Elfreda also enlightens her two friends further regarding sex.  Alfreda having traveled to Europe and experiencing two shipboard romances exclaims about the French people, “They’re much more highly sexed.  They think sex is a very important part of being a woman.  They’re very keen on it, very creative.”  (Shields, pgs 105-106)  “My goodness, you don’t think Harold would ever try-“ Daisy looks at Fraidy and then at Beans.  There is a moment of solid conspiratorial silence, and then the three of them burst out laughing.” (Shields, pg 107)   The discussion causes a healthy burst of laughter.   “They’re always laughing, these three…(Shields, pg 107) When Daisy’s first husband dies on their honeymoon, “Daisy told her dear old trusted school friends everything – except the fact that she had sneezed just before…” (Shields, pg 125)     

These three young women will remain life long friends.  One must ask if it is these early years of friendship bonding which provides the strength to endure.

Mrs V explains an early life of insufficient household funds as the cause of preventing her dream to become a teacher (Mrs V, pgs  3 & 34 ).  She has another dream, that of traveling (Mrs V, pg 9).  Mrs V’s father  died when Mrs V was only fifteen years old  (Mrs V, pg 11).  Mrs V reports having a  “lot of friends over the years”  “And as I have moved on some have been left behind…” (Mrs V, pg 16) She felt close to her younger sister in her early years (Mrs V, pg 5) and that bond has survived to this day.  Mrs V reports “sharing secrets” and helping each other as indicators of those closest to her (Mrs V, pg 12).  She describes how she met her husband at a dance during the war, how he went overseas and how she finds herself missing him and discovering she is falling in love with him (Mrs V, pg 12).  This man becomes the most important connection in her life (Mrs V, pg 8).

            Sharing knowledge, secrets, having fun together laughing and surely crying together whether it is vocalized or not is the beginning of finding the tools to self- development which is the role that is eventually defined for the woman.  Mrs V readily accepts that her role as a teacher is not possible.  Mrs V believes that being able to share secrets defines closeness.  She shares this closeness to this day with her younger sister.  Daisy’s friendship with her bridesmaids also represents an easy expression of communicating together and of being able to share all.  Charlotte and Claudia early years also define their characters with Charlotte taking the lead in her role as a friend and Claudia following and grateful for her role in the relationship.  Roles as friends are established.  Significant others in young lives are introduced but the role as lover/mate is yet to be fully defined in these younger years.   

                                               

THE MIDDLE YEARS          

           

            Intimacy changes during the middle years for women.  Women find themselves in established roles as mothers, wives, friends or career women.  Some are satisfied with their roles, others are not, and some do not know what their roles are.  These middle years are important years for women.  Women are still young enough for the flexibility of change and growth and some even have the courage to insist on happiness for themselves.

            Charlotte and Claudia find themselves in mirror roles.  Claudia is married with a family.  “She had her house.  She had her children.  She was safe in several important ways.  She thought it only mature to understand that there were bargains to be made, not something she could have known when she was much younger…Young girls believe in everything…By the time they’re really grown up…they realize there are some things they will simply end up settling for.”  (Barfoot, pg 59)  Claudia is settling for a husband who has affairs with other women in exchange for her role as a wife.  Claudia becomes confident of her role as is depicted when faced by one of her husband’s mistresses.  “ So, no, Miss Clarke, I won’t be leaving this house, or hunting for work, or moving into an apartment or even looking for a second husband…it’s time for you to get back to whatever you do.  Whatever sort of job you have, you’d better hang onto it…you have no future with him.  Whereas I, for better or for worse, do.“ (Barfoot, pg 68)  This stand that Claudia takes surprises her, “She was astonished at the depths of abasement, incivility, and self-certainty involved.” (Barfoot, pg 133)  Claudia has grown from displaying insecurity in her earlier days to being capable of taking a stand to protect her life and role as a wife and mother. 

            Charlotte is a career woman and a mistress.  She finds her role as mistress  unfulfilling “You can’t be full-heartedly happy when there’s really no hope.  You can only have moments of joy”. (Barfoot, pg 3)   How a mistress feels about her lovers’ wife is also clear, “ How jealous Charlotte was of this woman! How bitter and frightened.” (Barfoot, pg 8)   Charlotte is very much aware of the significance a wife has in a love triangle, “But then, she was powerful.  She did end up with Andrew.”(Barfoot, pg 8)  Charlotte’s own pregnancy ends in abortion, “She supposed this was almost as intimate an experience as having a child together.” (Barfoot, pg 91)  Charlotte describes the pain of having an affair, “She felt as if she went through a furnace during those ten years and became steel.” (Barfoot, pg 93)

            Charlotte and Claudia’s friendship is tested when Charlotte confides about her affair with Andrew.  The response displays Claudia’s love and concern for her friend, “I hope you aren’t hurt.  I hope it works out.”  Claudia is also concerned of how Charlotte thinks of her.  Claudia reflects, “Because you know me so well, I suppose.  And because I know how little you liked Bradley.  It felt to me as if I’d failed you, marrying him, and then staying with him.  Or that I'd made myself less than you hoped. (Barfoot, pg 13)   It is Claudia who Charlotte goes to be with when her affair is over, to recover and it is Claudia who welcomes and soothes her (Barfoot, pgs 95 &96).  It is Claudia who saves Charlotte in her darkest hour, “Because who knows what drastic thing she might have done, without Claudia?” (Barfoot, pg 97)

            Claudia and Charlotte share the secrets in their lives and support each other even at a distance.  The bond of intimacy within their friendship is strong.  To middle age these women have shared their secrets, joys and now their pain.

Daisy undergoes changes in her middle years.  She finds herself married and established as a wife and mother.  Her husband, Barker Flett clearly wants Daisy to focus her life around his.  This begins at the start of their marriage, “at this time in his life he needs all Daisy’s strong feelings for himself.” (Shields, pg 153)  When Beverly, a wren visits Daisy’s household she displays another role, that of an independent woman, “She’d just come back from England where she’d been “right in the thick of things.” “(Shields, pg 176)  Beverly  also “laughed loudly” (Shields, pg 176) which ladies did not do. Daisy on the other hand “Deeply, fervently, sincerely desiring to be a good wife and mother,…reads every issue of Good Housekeeping…McCalls…Daisy also always keeps, “her diaphragm in position…and nine times out of ten it isn’t needed.” (Shields, pg 186)  And how does Daisy feel in her role as the perfect wife?  As Daisy waits for her husband and ponders about her mother’s wedding ring, ”…she lies, stranded, genderless, ageless, alone.” (pg 189).  Married with a family, “These are frightening times for Mrs Flett when she feels herself anointed by loneliness, the full weight of it.” (Shields, pg 190)  It is with the death of her husband that brings changes to Daisy’s life and introduces her to another role, a happier one.  She now opens her house to pregnant Beverly who she had previously shun because their roles were too reversed (Shields, pgs 177, 179, & 207).  Beverly represented the modern woman who threatened the typical household considered normal for the times.   Daisy also begins a career that ignites her and brings her joy.  A new love relationship is also starting.  (Shields, pg 204-225)  It appears that Daisy is happy with a career, family and new love interest.  When Daisy loses her career and her boyfriend is responsible, she descends to another level, a level of despair.  Worse, her boyfriend Jay, minimizes what their relationship was. (Shields, pgs 226 - 229, 253, & 254)

Daisy’s relationship with her friends changes from her younger days.  That innocent pouring of thoughts and feelings seem to be missing.  The laughter has been replaced with an air of seriousness.  What was constant companionship has changed to corresponding, “three or four times a year…(Shields, pg 183).  When Fraidy visits Daisy in Ottawa she feels that Daisy has, “a distinguished husband and a large well-managed house and three beautiful children.” (Shields, pg  184)  Fraidy notices that Daisy has become “respectable” and “fat” (Shields, pg 184) Fraidy is very critical of Daisy and  jealous of Daisy’s role.  Fraidy appears self absorbed and very aware of her own unsatisfied life,  “I’ve missed out on everything, no husband, no kids, no home really, only a dinky little apartment, not even a garden.” (Shields, pg 184).  Fraidy’s envy of Daisy fails to display any sincere concern for her friend.  Beans expresses genuine grief when Daisy’s second husband dies, “Our hearts ache continually for you these days.” (Shields, pg 203) Beans is in a relationship.   As Daisy’s role changes from wife to career woman so does her relationship with her friends.  They too are having problems.  Beans’ husband has an affair (Shields, pg 214) Fraidy’s relationship with a man (Georgio) is over (Shields, pg 217).  The women find themselves reuniting.  Fraidy marries and exclaims in a letter to Daisy, “ Who ever thought I’d become “the little married woman” and you’d be the “career gal.”  Anyway, it suits you.  Beans and I are in agreement on that…”(pgs221-222).  The three women eventually reach a similar stage in their lives, “Isn’t it bizarre, all of us having beaux at our age …”(Shields, pg 224)  Fraidy’s apparent jealousy has diminished after she suffers her own disappointments and achieves her own desired role, that as a wife.         

The relationships between the three women changes while each woman experiences her own joys and pains at a distance from each other.  As the knowledge of the three experiences combine and reach a similar plateau, the three come together once again.  It is discovered that no one is left unblemished from the joys and pain and secrets.  The women re-unite after each has suffered her own problems, each has knowledge of the other and each continues to grow.  Each woman’s role changes as the circumstances around her change.          

Mrs V finds her role as wife and mother comfortable.  She describes her husband as a “good provider.  And he always loved his family…He was really good.” (Mrs V, pg 11) Her dream of traveling is fulfilled to her satisfaction as she and her husband tour different areas in Canada and the United States (Mrs V, pg  18).  What is interesting is that these areas are of his choosing.  Mrs V remarks that it is “interesting” how her relationship and their feelings for each other remained constant into their middle years (Mrs V, pg 19).  Even though she was comfortable financially she could not fulfill her dream of becoming a teacher, because women did not upgrade their education in their middle years (Mrs V, pg 35). 

Charlotte and Claudia are established in their roles but neither is happy.  Charlotte has an unfulfilling affair with a married man and experiences the pain of an abortion with this same man.  She decides to change her role by letting him go.  Claudia surprises herself as she learns that she has a courageous side to herself.  Challenged by one of her husband’s mistresses, she displays her own power – the power of a wife.  Daisy faces many changes in her life, from single to young wife to widow, to wife to widow again, to career woman, to no career.  Daisy finds herself unable to recognize what role she belongs to. 

                                                                                   

THE OLDER YEARS

           

Women find themselves established in their identity within their older years.  They know who they are and they can reflect to moments knowing why they have become who they are.  The older years bring a degree of confidence to all women.  They are able to enjoy their lives, health permitting and enjoy themselves without the burden of taking care of others as is found so often flung upon women.

Mrs V is eighty-eight years old, active, healthy, and enjoying her volunteer work.  Mrs V still drives her own vehicle and enjoys bowling and church events.  She is a very social person who lives alone and enjoys the company of her circle of friends and family.  (Mrs V, pgs 1, 3, 6 & 28)  Mrs V is a widow who still misses her husband, the man who grew old with her, a man she had an excellent relationship with  (Mrs V, pgs 11 & 19).  Mrs V describes herself as single, who doesn’t have any male friends but has lots of female friends. (Mrs V, pg 11)  How does she describe her life?  “I’ve had a good happy life.” (Mrs V, pg 4)  Mrs V believes she is a good person, a refection of the people who have surrounded her in her life (Mrs V, pgs 8& 9).  She finds herself still missing her husband and for twelve years until her recent move to a condominium she would feel “him coming through the door.”  (Mrs V, pg 19) She describes the closeness that lingered, ”For quite some time when I was living in the house, many times I felt he was sitting beside me.” (Mrs V, pg 19)

 Mrs V also has a close relationship with her daughter who she feels she can discuss anything with.  She claims that she doesn’t feel much older than her daughter who is fifty-one and she feels that they are getting closer “all the time”.  (Mrs V, pgs 1, 25 -27)

After many years of finding herself in the role of wife and mother, Mrs V now finds herself single and void of any responsibilities.  She has the time and finances to enjoy the things she wants.  She also gives something back to the community by her volunteer work.  She surrounds herself with a circle of female friends who share her joy of activities.

   Charlotte and Claudia come together in their older years and decide to live together after each has shared their darkest secret.  Charlotte confides how she has been observing her ex-lover Andrew by hiding in the bushes outside his house and Claudia confesses killing her husband after forty-seven years of marriage (Barfoot, pgs 26, 234. 250, 252, 259, 260).

Daisy’s life at seventy-two is one of ease living in a Florida condominium not far from Fraidy Hoyt.  Daisy has started new hobbies since moving to Florida, playing shuffleboard and decorating headbands and bracelets (Shields, pgs 266-268).  Daisy has developed a close relationship with Victoria, (Beverly’s daughter) and even takes a trip with her to the Orkney Islands where she resolves remaining issues with her father- in- law.  (Shields, pgs 270, 283, 305-307).

At eight-eight years of age Daisy finds herself very sick. (Shields, pgs 309) Since her late seventies other changes occurred in her friendships.  She, “lost her two dearest friends, Beans dying so suddenly, Fraidy Hoyt going senile; a terrible time.” (Shields, pg 317) But new friends can be gained, and she became friends with Lily, Myrtle and Glad.  The four of them living in the same Florida condominium as Daisy  (Shields, pg 317).  What they also have in common is, “they are widows; they are, all of them, comfortably well off; they have aspired to no profession other than motherhood, wifehood; they love a good laught…”(Shields, pg 319) But is this exactly true?  Did Daisy not aspire a career and did she not have one?  How many of the others may have their own secrets not yet said?  But after a full life, why not be able to laugh in comfort?

What about the intimate relationships these women had with their children?  Mrs V professes a wonderful life, with a wonderful husband and a wonderful daughter.  This may be very true.  But how much said is unsaid?  How much would Daisy, Charlotte and Claudia really tell of their lives if interviewed by someone they knew?  Daisy’s children are totally surprised after Daisy’s death to discover that Daisy was married to someone else other than their father (Shields, pg 350) and they ponder if Daisy did have an affair with Jay, concluding it was unlikely (Shields, pg 354).  How much did they know their mother and therefore, does intimacy alter for that reason – the lack of knowledge, the secrecy?  Claudia too, not until after the death of her husband do her children come together for one weekend to share their thoughts and knowledge.  This  exchange enhances the relationship that she has with them.  It brings them closer and more on an equal level as women. It is during this short time together where questions are asked and answered that there is a degree of sharing - of intimacy. (Shields, pgs 117-126).

            CONCLUSION

Intimacy is expressed by sharing knowledge, secrets, joys and pain and it changes the role of a woman as she grows older to the woman she finally becomes.  Claudia’s relationship with her daughters changes when information about her life is shared, when joys and pain are shared and clarified with her children.  But secrets remain and are only shared with Charlotte who she eventually lives with.  Daisy too keeps her previous marriage a secret from her children and they can only speculate why.  Mrs V’s closest relationship has been with her husband.  Her role as a wife was so ingrained that she could not bear to let her husband go and therefore felt his lingering presence for many years.  But one thing that is shared with all these women is that in the end they are alone and they share their lives with other women and not men.  They are able to enjoy their new roles by doing what they really want and having the means to do it.  These women are no longer responsible for the lives of others, only themselves.  This is a time where a woman is herself and able to be herself without the responsibilities of trying to please others.  This is a time when a woman does not need a role to identify with.  This is a time when she simply is herself – a woman.          

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[1]Shields, Carol.  The Stone Diaries.  Toronto: Random House, 1993.  References taken from the text will be indicated by a page number and author’s name in brackets following the quote.

[2] Barfoot, Joan.  Charlotte and Claudia Keeping in Touch.  Toronto: Key Porter Books, 1994.  References taken from the text will be indicated by a page number and author’s name in brackets following the quote.

 

[3] Mrs V.  Personal Interview.  10 Feb. 2003.  References taken from the interview will be indicated by the abbreviated name of  the woman who was interviewed in brackets  and page  number of the submitted transcript following the quote.

Hell and Universalism Eschatology

      Our view of hell and Universalism may be based on our studies, horror stories from our youth, our theological outlook, and it may be based on experience.  It may be a combination of any and all or exclusive to one spectrum or theory.  If one has experienced or worked with victims who have experienced evil then one may wish to believe in hell as a result of a just God.  Again the same may apply in regards to a just God that at the end, all will come to realise the difference of evil and good and enlightenment finally come to all.  Is that possible?  

     Universalism is defined by Sachs as the doctrine of Apocatastasis which maintained that the entire creation, including sinners, the damned, and the devil would be restored to a condition of eternal happiness and salvation (p 227).  Hell is described as the self-chosen state of alienation from God (p 235).

      In the sixth century, the Synod of Constantinople condemned the view that there would be a final restoration and reintegration of all creation – Apokatastasis.  This view from certain followers of Origen included demons and any human beings condemned to hell.  The Synod concluded that anyone condemned to hell remains there for eternity. (Hayes, p 179)            

     Augustine talks about mass damnata: large numbers of people being lost for all eternity while  Lane indicates that the “universal savific will of God.””The New Testament speaks of “”God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth””(1 Tim. 2:3-4)”.  Scriptures praise the loving mercy of God that reaches out to humanity universally (Rm. 11:32) (Hayes, 122).  Hoping for an end where all evil transforms into goodness because God provides the appropriate insight, how realistic is that?   Hell is prevalent in scriptures.  Dogmatic Theology  indicates that “Hell is so real that it reaches right into the existence of the saints.” (p 218) What do the saints have to say?  St. Irenaeus of  Lyons states that when the Antichrist has devastated all things in this world…the Lord will come…sending this man and those who follow him into the lake of fire…[1]

     People have a free will.  There are choices made each day whether it is to wake up early in the morning, to work, to kill or just to be oblivious of evil, to be evil or to deny evil.  We have choices.  Many believe that there is no Satan, that Satan is a myth so why would there be a hell?  Why is it easier to believe in heaven than to believe in hell?  There is polarisation is our daily lives, day and night, North and South, negative and positive, hot and cold etc…Does having a hell seems contrary to God?  War, starvation and disease, is that not contrary to God?  What happens to evil that prevails our planet?  What happens to those who choose evil over good as their rightful choice?  Some people are just plain bad to the bone.  Is that a judgement only for God?  Yes it is.   There may be an empty hell as there may be an empty heaven.  Perhaps all are still in purgatory, a state in-between?   One of the great deceptions of Satan is to secularise our minds, so that we can rationalise away the very meaning of the words of Jesus.  The kingdom of Satan is explained away as meaning that there is no struggle with Satan, but only with the evil in man’s heart.  Any existence of an adverse Kingdom of darkness and evil is labelled as

 fundamentalistic and ignored.[2]   The souls in hell do not possesses God’s love. However, the saints in heaven and the souls in purgatory do.[3]         

                 

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[1] J. Reverend Iannuzzi. Antichrist and the End Times. (Missionaries of the Holy Trinity: USA, 2005).P 21.

[2] G. Reverend Kosickie, C.S.B. Spiritual warfare. (Faith Publishing Co: Ohio, 1990) p 3.

[3] Hogan Richard, and Levoir, John. Faith For Today: Pope John Paul 11’s Catechetical Teachings. (Doubleday: New York, 1988). P 210.

Personality - cont...notes...Psychology. Stage Models

(Erikson, Vaillant and Levinson)  All stage models attempt to describe normative personality change.  Changes in personality may be associated with age, that are universal and common to most members of a population.  Most stage models postulate, "Life Task" that occur in a certain sequence and if not accomplished, development to the next stage may be weakened.

1.  Erikson:  Balancing positive and negative tendencies.  For Erikson, personality is balancing or harmonizing each of which appear at a particular age and a given stage.  Stage 6 is "intimacy vs isolation crises" meaning that deeper social commitments are essential to healthy development.  Stage 7 "Genervativity vs Stagnation" whereby through teaching or mentorship one assists others in reaching their goals and in this way one makes a lasting contribution.  At Stage 8 "Integrity vs Dispair" one reflects and see the whole of life, without disturbing regret and wishing to return to do it again and differently.  Each stage has a virtue of devotion to another stage, to the virtue of a widening commitment to others, to the virtue of wisdom about life.

cont...........with Valliant.........