Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy AAMFT notes ... continues

 The role of psychotherapy and childhood maltreatment in homicidal ideation -  Study looked at psychotherapy (lack of remorse, empathy) incarcentated, if child maltreatment had occurred.   As childhood maltreatment increased, so did homocidalology.  Men more so than women and gangs was not indicative of this. 

Leakage is the communication to a third person as an intent to harm a target. (Maloy & Otoole, 2011) Communication can vary such as email; verbal.  Reveals feelings, attitudes. It is not motivated to be stopped.  So often it has occurred in mass shootings.

Don't expect someone to actually do the harm.  Must be joking, denying it.  It is uncomfortable.  We must not be a weak link.  This is important information such as minimizing.  We need to be able to assess leakage.  eg.  one teenager communicated he wanted to kill girlfriend.

Case Study:  Caregivers.

 Mother had lost custody.  Grandfather adopted 14 year old boy and his brother.  14 year old leaked he wanted to kill his girlfriend.  Goes into the kitchen and cuts his wrists in front of his grandmother and gets gun.  Grandmother calls police.  14 year old points the gun at his grandmother and told her to move.  There was a bullet in the gun.  

     Woman complained that  boy was carrying a gun and would kill her.  Reported that she was being told she would be killed.  Male states he didn't mean it.  Male downplayed at pointing gun at her.

Domains:  Safety -  increase or decrease risk.  Emotional risk -  shame, guilt, fatal or non fatal.  Neighbourhood factors -  violence, community safety, gun presence, friends, traditions, shared commonalties, status; regret, social perceptions. 

      A clinician can be easily triggered in working with a family due to belief system.  How do they parent this child?  Grandmother - he put my life in danger.  Grandfather doesn't see it that way.

     We need to create safety and how the socialogy is.  How does the family respond when homocidal behaviours enter the room?  Lead with second order change (relational change).  Pull in first order change when needed (behavioural change).

     The boy went out to the community.  Police arrested him.

Lethal means safety counselling.  Be straight forward, practical and respectful.  Where does access occur in the community.  It only takes on bullet for someone to die.

     Talk about safer storage.  Look at pros and cons of keeping a gun in the house and changing how the gun is stored.  For some it is safety and protection of family.

Assault and Homicidal Danger Assessment Tool.  No predictable risk of assault/homicide.  Low Risk/Moderate risk - occurred within last year.  High risk.  

How do we address the relationship, so homicide is not the solution.  When child is distressed - instead of turning to the care giver, turned to a gun - homicial behaviour.   Difference of grandparents views make it difficult for child to turn to them.  Show how systematic family needs to change for behaviour of child.  How do we address the relationship so homicide is not the solution.  When caregivers are in conflict, children are in conflict.  - "When you need us, we are here for you."  That allows children to be able to go to them.

Conclued lecture.     Have a good weekend world. 

  

A full day a Niagara Falls

A large group of us went to Niagara yesterday and as soon as we departed Toronto and began to see trees and valleys, I could feel myself beginning to relax; no construction, no loud noises just peace and R&R.  People keep asking me why I want to go to Niagara.  The last comment I got was that there is no noise there (awwwww) and that tourists litter everywhere (I have not seen that).  Just before that another asked me, "Don't you like us?" I responded "yes".  He added, "Then why do you want to leave us?"  I am not leaving anyone.  Niagara Falls is about an hour and a half way.  It seems like I want to go to the other end of Canada or leave the country by the reaction I get.  I just have to make sure I buy something there for the visitors I will be getting.  However,  I am still here, waiting for the market to change, to become a sellers market once again.  Hopefully next year!  

     Our first stop was Neob Lavender, a first generation owner.  They began with nothing, living in a trailor being helped by mom and dad to now owning three stores, 20 years later.  When they bought this now purple everything it had no water nor electricity I believe.   It doesn't have a washroom people and though they said they have high end toilot cubicles that construction workers have in my neighbourhood,  and that they had been thoroughly cleaned,  mine was all wet (which was the general consensus) and the pump for water was insufficient to rinse the soap from my hands.  We went into the store and was created by lavender chocolate bites ( I bought a small bag).  Alas, there was a small sink with water and I managed to wash my hands properly.  There were all kind of smells with promises to heal but when it comes to healing, I listen to my physician.  However, one man from the group who had been hit by a car a few years back and spent 8 months in the hospital was generously spreading promised healing cream on his legs.  "You want some?"  He asked me.  "No thank you."  He had large scars on both legs and I wondered who sewed him up.  

     My niece bought me a lavender gift basket for Christmas and I always smell so nice afterwards having used it for soap and bath.  However,  I couldn't find anything to match it.   I found there was just too many smells that aside from chocolate I didn't really want anything.  Others bought for themselves and others and were quite pleased.  Me, I went to their front porch and socialized.

      Next was Caroline Cellars.  My first impression was not positive.  I went for the wine tasting with three others who wanted non-alcoholic drinks.  There were two bottles.  The first was not to my tasting and the second was a sparking wine which I thought was nice but it had 7% sugar so I decided to ask my pharmacist before buying it.  My pharmacist is worse than my physician in trying to keep me healthy.  Adjacent to the store is the Farmhouse Cafe with an outside patio and inside restaurant.  We weren't allowed to light the candles until 5 pm, the server, family member said.  "Does that mean I have to stay here until 5pm?  I asked.  It was about 11:00.  My group thought it was funny.  We had a choice of three meals and I kept telling my group that it was alcheapo, because the vegetarian option was grilled cheese.  I had planned on buying that at Tim Hortons later at the Casino.  However, Alcheapo it was not.  We had two large platters of cold cuts that my dad would have devoured had he still been alive.  I ate the olives and small tomatoes, and small cream cheeses wrapped in red peppers.  It is always nice when my comrades are there making sure there is something for me to eat.  I believe two other people chose the grilled cheese and this was no regular grill cheese.  This was the best I have ever eaten and it was definitely not a cheapo.  I was hesitant prior to the meal, because it said there was onions and honey in there but it worked.   I could only eat half and one of the men took my other half.  You won't go hungry if you go to Caralines and I fully recommend it.   We will be going back in the fall.  When we were leaving there wasn't any vacancy.  The place was packed with a line up.  Looks like the news is out.  

     Next was shopping at the Outlet and it was hot and humid.  I bought an orange pair of runners which I am wearing right now and it is super comfortable.  I bought it at Marshalls and though we have a Marshalls nearby, I like that one more.  Next I went to the Lindt store.  Even though I have one at Yorkdale, I cannot walk by a chocolate store.  So, two more small boxes of chocolate.  

    Then if was off to our last spot, the Casino.  I played and lost 20.00 of my own money and then went off to find a spot to finish off  a book I was reading.  I hated the ending.  Of course the author is a best seller.  I hate it when I am disappointed reading a book.   I remember someone telling me they were disappointed in reading my book, actually there were two.  One was Hey Guy Buy Me and the other was Ominious.  One day I will post the letter I got from the Ominous review, but not yet.  

     After losing my $20.00 and while polishing off my book,  I noticed a shadow in my peripheral and once I finished the paragraph I looked up and saw an unmarked picnic bag (I just won one last week - for my books).  There was no one nearby and I tried to get the attention of a worker.  My first thought - a bomb.  Then a man comes from a washroom, to retrieve the bag.  "I thought it was a bomb."   I tell him.  He gives me a big smile and leaves with the bag.  I can use that in one of my books, me thinks.  He was Middle Eastern but too good looking to be a terrorist.  Did you ever see a nice looking terrorist?  I am stereotyping people.  Terrorists can be nice looking somewhere in the world and not all are Middle Eastern I just finished all the chocolates and now me thinks I am going to be sick.  What's wrong with me?

     Anyhow, after all that it was about 5pm and I started thinking about eating supper.   They have a sandwich shop now so I ordered half a sub but didn't want to buy their intelligent water.  So, I went somewhere else for the water and returned.  I think it was a kiosk place before.  I took my sub outside to a bench overlooking the falls and thought about my mom.  She too loved Niagara Falls and she would wait for my call to hear all about my trip or any other trips I was taking, especially when driving down to Disney World.  She would want to hear about where I was, what it was like etc.......I missed her very much as I sat there with my sub taking a breather.  I then opened my bag and ate my supper.   It was a lovely day with wonderful people, but I always need to sneak away for some me alone time.  After a bit,  I returned to socialize until my return to Toronto.  It appears I have new neighbours.  Have a nice weekend and if you go to that lavender place, don't eat all the chocolates at once.  What do you think?

 

Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy AAMFT notes

 Trigger Warning:  Fire arms death age - 1 to 44 top leading deaths (in USA)

Wilful killing by one person to another.

Homicide behaviour is occurring - also suicidal behaviour and famicidal behavour if assessing one need to assess another.

Interview with one person who has lived with gun violence:  Participant seemed nervous answering questions and looking at the time.  Saw people being shot but ideology hasn't changed.  Believes people should have guns to protect themselves.  He wants to know his daughter's friends families to see how and what they believe in.  He used to carry a fire arm to his work.  He went to pick up his mother.  A few people were blocking the street.  He realized they had guns.  After that he sold his gun.  He stated, "If you carry a gun, you don't know how you are going to respond."  For a few weeks he pondered if he had made the right decision of backing away.  What is your lived experience of guns and homicide, such as community distress, past experiences, Mental Health Disorders; how to deal with anger?

Adhia et..al..2019 - Victims.  Broken desired intimacy, jealousy.  130 out of 150 adolescence were female.  66% 15 1/2 - 18.1 years of age.  102 perps were 18 years or older.  Average age - 20.

One male killed his girlfriend because of nude photos that were distributed.

to be continued with The Role of psychotherapy and childhood maltreatment in homicidal ideation.

Catholic Register - June 21, 2026 - Men struggling with Mental Health (p6)

 The National Survey of 2000 men, conducted in April 2025 by CMHC and Intensions Consulting depicted that as many as 64% of men reported having moderate to high levels of stress, 50% were at risk of social isolation and 67% reported never seeking out a professional mental health service.  In Canada men account for nearly 75% of suicide deaths.  The Government of Canada's Health Infobase states that every day, 10 men take their lives = 3,560 days per year with suicide among men occurring at three times the rate of women.

     I have recommended that men during therapy also join a men's group and some have complained that all it was doing was bashing women.   Be careful with which group you join, sometimes there is an agenda of hate.  That is not what you want.  Also, make sure that the therapist you find is registered.  

      What do you think?

Legion celebrates 100 years and of Course I am always ready for a celebration

 

What you see here is a photo of the missing Veteran.   I appreciated my gift bag which included poppy earings.  I don't have holes in my ears so I will have to find someone who can convert them to clip on.   I shall enjoy wearing them.  Who you see here in pink is Francis Nunciata, and of course I was excited to see her because she used to be Mayor in the City of York and is a councellor for the City of Toronto.  I believe she has been in elected office since 1988.  I used to read the Sun faithfully for years and she was in it often because of her work.   What struck me the most about this icon is how she stood up to city politicians and one pushing her on the stairs.  This is what women had to endure and she didn't tolerate it.   I remember a city counsellor telling me something about her which I didn't believe and so I called her and it wasn't.  How low can people get.   He is no longer in politics.  So, when I saw her, I couldn't help getting excited because I don't get to meet too many icons I respect.  Of course I went up to her to meet her.  I told her about the stairs incident that exploded the papers at the time.  She left before she could eat dessert because there was a fire at a building and she wanted to be there in case residents needed anything - an exellent role moded.  It was a fun night. 

Global Warming anyone? Toronto hit with a heat wave and most polluted in the world for a few days - bringing you up to date

      My city is cooking up a storm.    Air conditioning was something of a luxury in the past but not anymore.   I consider myself fortunate.   We also have fires in the wooded areas and why not?  That is what happens.  I do sit outside in the early morning and sometimes late afternoon, but yesterday I felt I was walking into a sauna and came right back in.   It is not keeping me from socializing but of course everything is being moved indoors, but that is ok.  We had a rough winter and summer has just started.  We should be cooling off this weekend with storms in the forecast.

     So, let's forget the weather for a bit.   I have been doing a lot of thinking and very little work.  Am I becoming lazy?  Am I adjusting to retirement and a new career?  Am I procrastinating?  Who knows and who cares?  This is where I am at.  I am still watching the real estate.  Apparently prices went down 2% in my city from last year.  Detached houses are becoming more attractive now (once again) than attached.  This of course keeps changing or at least the information does.  I still get annoying calls from agents I don't want to deal with and just block them.  One I threatened to go to the realestate board and he hasn't bothered me since.  With 10,000 agents looking for work, you can imagine.   I am going to be more careful this time around since two pieces of my art work disappeared last year.  I want someone who is honest and experienced and am in no rush.  Honesty can be difficult.  I have heard of pushy agents and that is certainly not for me.  So that is where I am at in real estate.  

     I have new neighbours I haven't  met  but I have so many good neighbours that I feel I am on a roll.  

     During one of the writing lectures a fellow Toronto writer shared that she uses Substack and it looks like I may be going in that direction for some income in my writing.  If I am going to transition from hobby to professional seriously, than I should make some changes.  I have many of you who read what I write.  Theology notes has decreased in interest.  Psychology notes is popular; my thoughts and travels are most popular at the moment.   I want you to think about if you would be willing to pay $10.00 a month to join me in Substack.  I would keep theology notes here and will have to still decide what I can offer you that you would pay $10.00 a month.   I have put my latest book in pause again because of all the transitions and because I want to have fun.  This book is about the Protagonist, a psyhotherapist, getting involved in murders without realizing it.   I throw in some sessions with people and I kill a few people.   There is a love interest for the therapist but she doesn't realize it yet.   Her assistant is a gay man that has generated interest in how I portray him.   I have decided to just do my thing.  I cannot please everyone but do need to please myself.  Everyone has an opinion, but I am writing this book and I shall decide.  Normally when I write, I throw myself into it but this time,  I am reading a lot for pleasure that I am neglecting my own writing of my next book.  As you can see, I am taking my time with everything.   But, there is a method to my madness.  I want to do everything right for me and there are so many options.  Because of the endless options,  I am exploring,

     So, for now, think about joining me at Substack.  I think I can ease myself into it after I figure out what I will provide there for you and eliminate here.  I have been here forever and think I received a 15.00 cheque once.  They advertise a lot and well I am beginning to feel used.  You ever think that?  With Substack they get 10% of whatever I may or may not make.  Since I love writing to you I think it is about time that I stop letting others make all the money and share a bit of it.  This is transition........What do you think?  Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Weekend full of Bullets in our City - Salsa Festival mourns

      I have probably been to every festival in Toronto except the Danforth.   I am not talking about the burbs but just in Toronto.  I used to frequent the Danforth and enjoyed dining there so I didn't feel compelled to go to the festival swarming with crowds.  I grew up in Toronto and it was the best and it was relatively safe.  The Toronto I grew up in and the Toronto now is completely different.  We didn't have all this violence and guns and gangs.  Oh we had the biker gangs but they didn't normally bother the public in general.  What we have now is children and I mean children, not teens harassing grown ups.  I don't know how many complaints I have heard of a grown up looking at a group of children and being told where to go with a look of hatred on them that scares the adult.  A few more years later, they join bigger gangs and shoot each other without any regard of the public around them.  The justice system has become a revolving door with no consequences to meet the seriousness of the offence.  Saturday night there was a targeted shooting and two people lost their lives.  Innocent bystanders were shot.  There was a stampede of  people trying to escape.  This is what my city has become.  It is in my opinion dangerous.   Many people raised in Toronto have left the city to live elsewhere.  I intend to as well but the economy has prevented me from doing so.  It doesn't really cause a dent, because people want to live here.  It is a beautiful city and I shall always love it, because it is my home town.  I can get whatever I want here.   Toronto used to be safe, but it isn't anymore, regardless of what people say.   We do need changes to corresspond with the current atmosphere.  We can't have laws that have outdated the goodness Canada used to have.   If there are no serious consequences to match the crimes committed than we are fuelling an atmosphere for corruption to grow like weeds out of control.    I usually go to festivals by noon when the bad boys are in bed and leave by supper time.  The Salsa Festival I have been to only once because when I went the music was much too loud for me and I don't really love Salsa music or dance to it.   Anyhow,  I do feel bad for all those who have been tramatized and injured.  You take care of yourselves where ever you live.  What do you think?  

Theology notes continues

 The wilderness becomes the land of the exile.  The Torah is mentioned in Deuteronomy.   Torah means to instruct.  In Deuteronomy, the Torah becomes the law.

Genesis, Exodus 

     What are they doing?  What is their proposal? - in light of past covenants.  Notice what they do in Genesis 1, Exodus and Noah's covenant.  The Deuteronians are not naive.  There is a continual renewal of covenant.  You are provoked, whether in the land or not.  Choose life - by remembering the past, look into the future.  Both time lines are provoking for a decision.

God's Irresistable love   -----------------------------------future crises

                                                   Moment of Decision

Israel's Incomprehensible

faithlessness

                                                     Future blessings

                           

Narrative History                                                                          Covenant

Interplay of remembering and not forgetting

 to be continued.

A Day in Elora for R&R

I know I have been to Elora before, but I can't recall if it was with family or friends.   That is how long it has been.  We began with a tour by a retired Geography teacher  who reminded me of how painful high school could be.  I had guessed he had been a teacher and he eyed me like some of my high school teachers used to.   I loved University but never usually cared for the high school teachers (my bad).   After about an hour and a half my brain went into overload.  Anyhow,  he was a very nice man and full of knowledge because he has lived there since the 60's and saw what has grown fairly big since his arrival to a population of  2000.    Elora and Fergus connected as did the politicians and now there is some division with regards to politicians.  One of my courses in undergrad was Psychology of Education.  It emphasized the importance of working as a team.   Perhaps every politician should take that course and learn how to work together for the sake of better results for all.  There are quite a few Churches in both towns which I don't think I have noticed so much in other places or it may be because  I don't usually tour each one with a teacher.     Unfortunately,  my telephone battery expired, colpa mia for not charging it before I left.   I did manage to get a few photos of the Gorge for you.   We also toured the residential streets with a bit of history there for us, which I won't over burden you with.  I learned that the politicians wanted to make money with parking and so they got that all sorted, however,  what happened when someone paid for parking, they would get pornographic photos.  Yup, the money never went to the towns.  They apparently are not getting paid yet.  He also spoke of coming during the week because there is hardly  sufficient parking during the weekend.  He also went on about visiting tourists bringing their dogs who don't like the town dogs and vice versa.  See what I mean?  There was a lot more but I'll stop now, before I faint.

My highlight aside from the Gorge where you can rent a tube for the day to explore the rabids.  (I am not going to bore you with the details) I will tell you that you have to be able to walk a mile and a half both ways to and from the park to qualify).  If you are interested you my contact the Elora Conservation Park.  Everything was broken down for us. 

      I usually like to visit the bakeries when I visit towns, so I went into the Elora Bakery and bought some scones at $4.50 each.  I also bought  sour dough, their speciality.  However the sour bread wasn't cut and this morning, I gave up after half way and just tore off chunks and threw it all in the freezer.   I also had difficulty cutting some other bread so that won't happen again.   I'll stick to scones.  Apparently they don't have a slicer.  I just assumed.  You know the saying.   I had a scone for lunch and that was right up there with the best scones I've had here in Toronto.    

     We ate at the Country Kitchen next door to MacDonald's.   I ordered vegetarian stir fry which reminded me of the Thai I ate on the cruise (I know,  I still owe you more on that).   I am not into sweet main foods prefering hot and spicy, however,  every one I was with, loved the food.  

     What impressed me the most and I would recommend, aside from the Gorge is a visit to Elora Distilling Co.   We had a tour of the premises which is quite small but very effective.  This is where I felt the town atmosphere in their way of bartering with the farmers and their efficient small scale distillery.  I support small businesses and this is a place to go and buy.  They are located at 102-4 Metcalfe Street,  Elora.  NOB 1SO.  Their web site is  www.eloradistillingcompany.com

Have a nice weekend.  

  

AAMFT Conference - Notes……Continue - Adult Attachment: Developing Secure Attachments.

 Dismissing Attachment

Unresolved

Deep fear of relationships.    Sees relationships as dangerous where ever they can be (distant parents.  He didn't even know the names of his three children).   Angry parent, detachment, abusive. 

Intimate relationships can be dangerous for them as they see it.  Difficulty sleeping, concentrating, difficulty in sex relationships.  In more extreme cases dissociate and may not recall events or their whereabouts.

FOCUS OF THERAPY

     1.  Creating a secure base in therapy. 

     2.  Memories of early childhood are recalled and explored.

     3.   Exploration of current relationships.

     4.   The therapeutic relationship.

     5.  Mourning loss.

     6.  Loss of self.

     7.  Mindful acceptance of the limits of one's attachment.  Externalizing change.

     8.  Risking change in every day life.

     9.  Termination.

Goal of Therapy

     Gain awareness of and express feelings and needs.

     Develop greater capacity for intimacy.

Preoccupied Clients:

- to develop autonomy.

-to develop affect regulation with the capacity to express needs, wants and feeling in a regulated manner.

Theology continues - notes - In the Shadow of your wings

 

     What we see in Samuel is the forming of Israel.  The Sinai Covenant is where we have tribes and their God - stamp of God.  It is God who brings in this new order.  We have the constant voice of about trust.  The rise and fall of Saul -  the first Adam.  The Adam in Genesis. 

     The rise of David.   He brought the arch of the desert into the city.  There is a tension between God and the City.   How is God asking us to act and to organize ourselves?  One way of looking at this is that one view is there is only one God the desert and trust is needed.  Desire for kingship.   Enter into civilization where you have stability.  The Lord will rule over you.  

     With the fall of Saul and the rise of David we notice stories where Saul falls from God in his trust issues.  Moving historically from Egypt is one.   How does Israel use Convenant language?  Presents Israel as new David.  What do they do with the new covenants?  Johnathon is enlisting into his field of activity.  First Johnathon  for David and then Johnathon recognizes David as a superior and asks David to support his family.

Deut 6:4   SHEMA ISRZEL ADONAI ELOHEMU SDONAI EHAD

     Moses presents before the people their sins.  Reflect on God's love.  Chapters  1-11 historical prologue we have a series of benefits of what is done for the people.  It's a reflection of their history which helps them make a decision.  

     The genius of this book is the history of love and also the blindness (so not all is good {not realistic} and not all is evil {depressing}).

     Crossing of the Jordan River -  now is the moment when you have no land, no King; no temple.  This is the time in the desert.  This is the Amen and with this Amen there is hope.

to  continue

 

These people came to my property at 1145 pm, 2 Jul 26 and stole my planter - so annoying and with a wheel chair really - Return

    If you want to see the video, you are going to have to see it either in X, facebook or next door.  I could not seem to link it here.

    I cannot believe how fast time flies.  Our city has been busy with FIFA and I only kept track of scores.  Everyone seemed glued to the games.  I am glad everyone enjoyed my city so much.  Yup,  I still want to leave to the beautiful falls and it appears the housing market may change so wish me luck.  Neither Trump nor Musk seemed interested in buying my house.  The weather has been a scorcher and it is incredible that there are those who do not believe that our planet is dangerously warming up globally.

     I am glad that I live in a country that offers air conditioning.   I want to wish the Americans a Happy Jul 4th.   I will be taping the Disney celebrations because as you should know by now,  I love Disney World and could easily live on the grounds in bliss.  So have a good weekend world and be safe.  I will try to get back to normal next week.

Happy Canada Day - I am going to love it!!!!!!!! BBQ waiting for me!