Critiquing my books

One evening I was approached, while minding my own business and coming out to the front of my house to see, if I could breathe the air, with the humidity lingering. I was approached by an elderly man who has bought both my books. I had not seen him in quite a while. When he read my first book he was all gushy about it. My second book did not get that warm and fuzzy feeling. "So, what did you think about my book?" He avoids eye contact as he replies, "I didn't read it." I remember when he asked to buy my book, he immediately opened it somewhere in the middle and began to read, immediately commenting on the passage. "I have been too busy." It always kills me when people who are retired tell me how busy they are, that they cannot find the time to do things they want. "I am writing myself." "What are you writing about?" I ask. "About an older man in relationship with a younger woman." He replies. I respond, "Wishful thinking?" I ask. Denial comes across. "Why don't you write about your time in the hospital? Why don't you write about your patients. You should write about something you know." I respond, "I don't want to." "Why?" he asks. I respond, "Because I write for fun." I didn't add that when I write about truth and not imaginary characters I have to be mindful that I am not breeching confidentiality. I need to ensure that the privacy of people are protected, but I am not going to get into all this, because in honesty, I do write what I want and not what others want me to write. Hence, the benefits of a free country. He continues, "When I write, I write a sentence and then I rewrite it many times. I can do other things as well. I taught creative writing you know?" I wondered for the first time what kind of creative writing did he actually teach? He is not a professor. I thought of my own experience. My major in my undergraduate was psychology. At York University there was no fooling around. It was nothing to have an exam where over a hundred multiple questions were asked in a limited time. I remember a few students going into a panic and cry during the exam. They had to be calmed down before continuing. I always thought I must have failed. The questions were so close for answers and you really had to know your material. After the first exam there was a loss of half a class or less. Many students dropped psychology and went into sociology. It was tense but I loved psychology. "You are psychology" a Phd student who tutored me for the math portion once told me. "You must continue in psychology." However, did not want to do research and unlike the States there was no other option at the time. Sometimes, I toy about doing my Phd in psychology, but I pause and wonder if I want to pay tuition for the rest of my limited life. I am still paying. As I am talking to this elderly man who notices my nail polish and comments on my toe nails, I wonder why he does not want to admit that he has read something in my book, that has annoyed him. His remark about writing about something that I know amuses me. He has not spent one day in the military. What does he know? Projection? I love writing. I could never imagine re-writing a sentence over and over again to perfect it. That would be work and when I write, I am not working. I am having fun. My audience is not composed of scholars. My audience is every day people educated or not, smart or not, nice or not. Can I write using big words that no one really wants to look up? I remember one female who had read a copy of "Hey Guy Buy Me." She had borrowed the book from her brother. She hissed and spewed that I wrote as if I am talking. She didn't mean for me to take it as a compliment, and if she knew she actually pleased me, than she certainly would not have said it. When I applied for a break from psychology to take an elective in creative writing, the professor said that the class was full. He later attended my place of work and told one of my colleagues that he had room for one more student and I was accepted. I was extremely happy, the paperwork shortly followed and I really enjoyed his course. He could be very tough when he didn't like how someone wrote. I was fortunate. I also understood his points. People come from different places and are a product of everything they have been exposed to. Sometimes what they read will trigger something in them. My first book took two months to write. Obviously it is not a master piece. It has more errors than I would like, but it was my first book. My second book is my biography. It is history and I take you on a journey with me. You may hate it or you may like it but I need to tell my story as I see it. I am being true to a younger self as I thought at the time. I fired my first editor when she said that I had my facts wrong. Tell me what is wrong, not that it is wrong. I never knew what it was because that would have cost me more and by then, I felt I was being taken advantage of. So, if there is something wrong, I haven't been advised of that from any of my readers so far. So, I returned to my publisher who I like and trust. I do not have the patience to send my writings to different publishers etc.....I write for fun and if I break even as I hope to do with my second book and am sure that I will (only a matter of time) than I am ok. When I wrote my first book I did go to the bookstores and they wanted about 45% for each book. I cannot do that now. I cannot afford a distributer, an agent etc... Now I have an ebook and that opens another door. That brings in more revenue. I am using a different approach. I have not sent this book out for reviews; not yet. I know that this book will provoke emotions. I didn't expect it from my first book, but now I know better. People loved or hated "Hey Guy Buy Me". Women who let men in their lives read it made comments such as I was telling men what to do, who did I think I was etc...I even had a minor league stalker for a little while. I put a stop to that real quick. I learned much more from writing my first book and publishing it than I did in the two months of writing it. I am always learning and I can never say that nothing surprises me. I could never live long enough. With my first book, I received some emails from men thanking me for writing it and that it had helped them. All this from one little book. So I still have to work out my shopping cart and I will be working on my private practice and what I will suggest to you is find a passion whatever it is and do it for yourself. I have been fortunate to have had and still do have positive people in my life. I take some risks and accept challenges. I have healthy self esteem. I am not afraid to speak my mind and I have had more than a few, tell me that they aspire to be more like me, more assertive. What I suggest is to be more like yourself. Who are you? What is it you want in your life? Are people surrounding you motivating you do you feel constrained? I suggest you fly and soar and roar and be yourself. Find yourself that person or surround yourself with people who value you and love you and respect you. Do not isolate yourself because you have been injured. There are so many nice people out there. Go get your fishing rod and find some. What do you think? P.S. Forgive any errors please. I will not be vetting this 10x. or more.