9/11

Each year on this day and sometimes before as well, I pay a special tribute to the tragedy by watching a documentary in stages or movie about the event. I watch this in prayer for the people who died and for all the survivor's and their families. One thing that terrorists fail to understand, because there is so much hate that leaves very little room for clarity, is terrorism does not only terrorize, it brings people and communities closer. They become more loving and supportive of each other. I believe that good is much more powerful than bad. It took me a bit of time to realize that. As I grow older and mature, I see the world through a different lens. There is hope for peace, there is hope for a better world. This world can be peaceful and united, but we have a lot of work to get there. United we can combat evil and grow towards a better tomorrow. When I went on a tour bus of New York City some time after the event, the tour guide happened to be a full time teacher. I was in awe of him as he declared, "We will not be beaten." This handsome man so full of passion for his country and values inspired me. Our country to date has been spared. But, hate has a way of growing and spreading like the fungus that it is. Today I want to wish my American neighbours my sympathy once again as I live a silent prayer for you.

Check out my new web site! See you at Queen's Park. If you do not have a copy of my book, now is the time.

I have finally designed my own web site and it was easier than I thought. I cannot believe I took an entire course to design a web site two years ago and had to learn all that computer language when I did not have to. My professor's advice always comes to mind,"Don't work hard, work smart." I never realized that something he would spew off every once in awhile would stick this much. The site is not perfect but take a look at it at redigondapsychotherapy.com. At least here I can add, delete and change things without thinking. My book sale is coming up very soon. I am missing the fair this Saturday due to work. I see clients on Saturdays now and do not like taking off more than one Saturday a month. I am also trying to make myself available for one evening a week. The doors close at 5pm. but where there is a will, there is a way. I am full of slogans that do not belong to me. Speaking of what does not belong to me, the pictures you see in the the web site are not mine. I have not deleted them because I want to replace them with my own. I have not decided what I am going to place. Maybe it will be pictures of my office or the view of the CN Tower from my window, or just pictures that I have taken for pleasure. Someone has given me another picture he wants me to place in my office. I find that men like to give me things to put in my office. Interesting. Anyhow, take a look at my website. If you hate it, you do not need to tell me. If you like it, feel free to do so. If you have nothing better to do on Sunday, September 21, come to "The Word on the Street", held at Queen's Park. You may find my booth which is at the Writer's Corner, booth 19. You may see my sign, "Hey Guy Buy Me." Drop in and see me. I still feel bad that my second book will not be ready but I will get over it. I have stopped writing my third book until my second is ready for publication because each book I am writing is so different from each other and I want to remain with the psyche of the second book without thinking of the third. However, I am always developing new characters in my head and what I plan to do with them. There is no doubt that my third book is non-fiction and I enjoy that so much, that I have asked for a "teaser" to be inserted in my second book. What are your goals? What do you do for fun? What do you do for peace? How do you cope with things? How do you find joy? You have choices. What are yours? Why?

One Wedding and a Funeral during the long weekend, at 4 different locations outside Toronto

I expected the wedding and was prepared for that, but I was not prepared for the death of a favourite cousin. I have two older cousins, both male who live in Montreal. As soon as my train entered Montreal, I fell in love with the city (minus the annoying graffiti. After more than four hours sitting, and after settling down, I walked the five mile hike to the funeral home where I met my cousin and the rest of my family. After celebrating a joyous wedding, I was preparing to celebrate the life of my cousin which came to a tragic end. He is a great loss to me, but the grief his brother is feeling, comes from a life time of love and closeness. They were never separated and they never married. What has always amazed me is the power of having such close friends who they definitely have. It had been too many years since I have been to visit and my sick cousin had not been too happy with me. He wanted me there for a month. I could not take the time, with school and work and most of all, I cannot leave my pets. They are my responsibility and I take responsibility very seriously. However, I did not realize how sick my cousin really was. I had no idea he was dying. I was never informed. Trying to order flowers for the funeral turned out to not be as easy as I had thought. I received a call the next morning to be informed that the flowers could not be delivered due to it being a holiday? Really? I didn't want to waste any more time and called the Montreal funeral home. The staff there were so kind and told me who they use. I ordered from, "What a Bloom" and I was not disappointed. I rescued two animals who were going to be put down because they were ferral. A neighbour and I had cleaned up the neighbourhood with the ferrals. All were adopted but three. I stopped donating to the organizations that were going to put them down, and I took the responsibility of adopting them. One died within a year. She had been such a sweet little thing. They love me and I love them, however they do not like people in general since they have experienced abuse. Therefore, I can not leave them with anyone, nor can I have others come in with out me there. I have had many wonderful people volunteer. So, it had been quite a while since I spent a night anywhere. With three bowls of water, four plates of dry food and two of wet, I knew these hungry beasts would be ok with food. I said so to a dear neighbour who just lost one of her dogs to cancer. I went to the train station and sat and relaxed in the lounge. There is no better way to travel. Being in Montreal and seeing family and old friends was wonderful. My cousin has had a great life. The both of them always treated me like royalty whenever I had come to visit. I was catered to and never lifted a finger. My cousin smiled when he saw me and his face lit up. I stood by his side during the entire time. I even contemplated moving to Montreal and though I was always being informed that I could have a career there without being able to speak the French language, I am hesitant. I never make rash decisions. I offered that my cousin can come to me and I will take care of him. However Montreal is tempting. I love the warmth of the people and the joy of living. It has a European flair that I enjoy. However, my first language is English and I would never want that to be a problem in keeping people away from getting help. I left my cousin who was getting a much needed nap without waking him. He was exhausted. I returned to the Montreal Station and returned to Toronto by rail. I was so surprised by the good food and fine service. I will continue to enjoy this service and make the effort to visit Montreal more often, even if it can only be for overnight. I am typing this in my back yard with my pets frolicking, the birds chirping and the trees engulfing me and keeping me cool. I have a happy life. I am doing exactly what I want. I have no regrets. How do you deal with grief? Are you happy with your life? Do you surround yourself with people who care for you as much as you care for them? How do you deal with responsibility? What would you do, if you could? Why are you not doing it? Are you living the life you want, or are you living the life others expect from you? Do you have someone you can trust in your life. Life is about choice, unless you are of course living under duress in certain countries. Life is very short and you have an obligation to yourself to live the life you want. Find a way to find that life, find a way to find yourself. Why not make changes to your life today? What do you think?

New web site needs to wait until College is up and running - The College of Psychotherapy

I read that it is worse to have a web site that is not up to date, than not to have one at all. Once I have an up to date one, I will find out for myself. However, it seems to make sense to me. However, I have decided to wait until the College is set up and running. When I was in my undergrad psychology program, we were informed that anyone could put up a shingle and provide therapy as long as they did not refer to their clients as patients. As students we were horrified. We could not believe that this was not regulated. This is finally changing and I am very happy that it is. Not everyone is as happy as I am. Why? Again, if I had my way every business dealing with the care of others would be regulated. Heck, any business should be regulated. Think of how many scams could be controlled and the public protected. We live in a world that is constantly changing and we need to change with it. So, I have decided to wait until everything is sorted out and then there should be no other changes for me. However, after the College is here, I will re-examine how many associations I belong to and perhaps drop one. If you are looking for a therapist, ask for their qualifications. You should be able to see the certificates on the wall. You are paying them to help you so ensure that the person you are seeing has sufficient education related to what you need. I still remember when I began my studies, asking therapists about their qualifications. I was horrified. Some had no training what so ever and only a Bachelar of Arts etc... This is all changing and it is for your protection. Get the help you need. Find someone you can relate to and feel comfortable with. There is no shame in seeking help. It is only a shame when you don't. Start getting atune to your feelings. Why are you angry, sad or happy. What is happening? Why do you feel the way you do? Have you given up? Why? Where do you find peace? How often do you go there? What do you think?

Second book is with publisher

I had a professor in Grad studies, whom I now consider a friend, tell me that a book should never be more than 200 pages because people will get bored. I suppose I shall find out, since my publisher informed me recently that my book will be about 500 pages. I was surprised. I thought it would have been less. My objective for my third book will be aiming for 200 pages when it is completed. I have to ask how many typed pages = to two hundred. I have loved to write stories since I was in elementary school. I would read them to my mom in the kitchen. I would then hand them in at school and I remember one teacher not believing me that I had wrote it. He chastised me in class, in quite a condenscending way telling me, that I could not have possibly wrote it. Because I had a very supportive home life, I was able to tell him in a class full of people, that he could ask my mother and she would indeed verify that I had written the story. Looking back, I smile thinking how much I did not like teachers in grade school and high school. That all changed for me in University. I loved University where one can express their views and not be told that it is above their capability. Teachers today need to be more educated than they were when I was young. However, there is no perfection. I had a mom who urged me and convinced me that I could accomplish whatever I wanted in life. Not everyone has that. There are children who are told that they will never amount to anything, they grow and have children and all that negativity that they have been taught is handed down to their child. What would be the difference for a child who has no support system at school or at home? One positive influence for a child can make all the difference. Find that positive influence because it is out there. My book will not be ready for the fall book sale, at Queens Park next month as I had planned. It may not even be ready for Show Case at York University. However, if you are in the area, do come by and say hi. I will be selling, Hey Guy Buy Me and always appreciate the feed back I receive, especially when it is kind. When the second book is completed and I have it in my hands, it will be time for a second web site. Thank you for still reading my blogs. I am considering returning with more information from my schooling. Why not share with the world?

I am surprised that people are still reading my blogs. I just want to bring you up to date with a few things. My second book is completed and my editor has it. I have completed all my serious work and may now sit and relax and enjoy the wonderful weather we are having in Toronto. Connecting with friends is always good and spending time out doors in nature is great. I have to update my web site: seriously. Thank you for still reading me.

This is my last blog. Thank you for everything.

The reason I began this blog and my twitter is because several years ago when at a seminar we were informed that if we were therapists and were not on the internet, we would not be in ten years. I was still a student and concerned about that comment. I have enjoyed posting articles from psychology, theology and pastoral education mixed with analgies from personal perspectives. I am now on the internet with my various affliliations and so am visible. I will be updating my profiles on site to list my immediate qualifications. Though I have enjoyed writing my blogs, I need to focus on building my practice, doing the research I need to do for my work and balance and prioritize. I want to thank you very much for reading my blogs. It was very kind of you. Self care is extemely important and I hope that you all find that balance between work and play. We are very social beings and isolation does not help. Please reach out to someone if you are sad. Keep yourself healthy by managing your stress levels and finding someone you can share your thoughts with. Be the person you want to be. If you are in an abusive relationship, find a way to get help. We are lucky to be living in Canada where there are so many resources available. USA, I especially thank you for reading my blogs because you are at the top of the list for reading my articles. I always enjoy travelling to your country and sometimes I forget that we have borders. I have more to see there as my focus is now North America. We both live in countries where people from all over come to have better lives. I want to thank you all for visiting. If you ever do come to see me as a client please let me know that you did read my blogs. Take care. Do something nice for yourselves today. Thank you Silva