I do not endorse anyone or accept friend requests

I sometimes get a request for a job placement which is quite legitimate. However, if I ever accept any offer it must be very interesting to me. I have an interest in helping emergency personnel but I cannot do it for free or refer. There are charity locales for that. There are charity organizations who raise money for that. I have no interest in working for any business unless it is in the scope of psychotherapy and the business must be legitimate. I do not accept "friends" requests unless the person is a colleague or actual friend. I also do not endorse any company or accept any fees what so ever. I do not recommend any spa like facility in the States to anyone. So, save our selves time and cross me off the list as a potential for directing any one anywhere. For people who do seek therapy do check that the persons you see or seek services from are legitimate. I was watching a program a few months ago (market place?) where they were showing that degrees were being sold including degrees for PHD's from non existent universities. It is all a scam. So it is important that you check the sources. This is why the news is so important. They expose what others try to keep hidden. It is part of our democracy. The information I write here is mostly from my notes from undergrad and grad and conferences. I believe I am caught up with all the conferences. I believe some pages are missing from my last blog, but it will show up if that is so. At this point I am also writing some exercises for some therapy books. Last week I was at a hospital and talked to a volunteer who seemed young for the type of work she was doing. Normally, I see elderly women. I asked if she was working for hours. In Ontario high school students require so many volunteer hours before graduating. Initially I thought this was another way of getting people to work for free. However, I now see the benefits of a students growth and empathy. It teaches. The student said she was not working for hours but was forcing herself to get away from her studies for four hours. I noticed she was reading a book regarding 101 something or other regarding self care. She began instructing me on the benefits of self care. I did not tell her I was a psychotherapist. I did not want to deter from her willingness to share. She is an undergrad at a university (one I went to). "You want to be a scientist?" I inquired when she told me her field of study. "Yes" she replied. She was quite pleasant and I always marvel when I see such determination and wit. So, as you see I also write just about anything. I am now organzing my writings about therapy so I can produce an easy to read book about therapy. People seem to want it. However, that does take away from my joy of writing for fun which you can find at www.silvaredigonda.com. I like to write so everyone can read it. I believe in "KISS" (keep it simple.......). So, I am not here for anyone else to endorse. I am not here to accept friendships. I am here because of my work. My fun time is separate though I may write about it. I sometimes share for a purpose to demonstrate self care or other. I welcome questions regarding psychotherapy. So, since I am caught up with conferences I shall get back to my notes next week and begin alternating between my psychology notes I have not completed and theology notes. So have a good week, remember to have fun. Try to balance your life. Talk to people. You do not need to know them. Enjoy the weather and discover yourself and your place in the world. What do you think?

Using Spiritual and Religious Interventions when treating trauma survivors as Spiritual Care Practitioners.

tid bit: Budhism is no longer a religion but a philosophy. I remember having this argument with a Budhist retired physician, before I got the memo at a lunch at Pelee Island. Now when I say argument it only means a discussion with opposing and sometimes non opposing views. Nothing like a mini holiday to get the blood juices going. Enough of tidbit. I attended an Annual Conference with CASC at North York Hospital and my highlight for the day was listening to a Chaplain, Shawn Lucas from CAMH providing a talk about Assessing Transcendent experiences vs. mental illness in Spiritual Care. In 1990 the APA issued guidelines directing their members on how to deal with religious clients. Research on the benefits of religion was conducted in the 80’s and 90’s and is still continuing. Researchers have found that participation in organized religions has many benefits. Religion can increase one’s sense of security. It can increase meaning and purpose in the world. One can live longer and have lower amount of stress and more resilience in marriages. Religious Delusions: usually long; negative; you have a special purpose which is okay. Most religions have a long discernment process for priests etc….. Receive less support from religious community. Transcendence - beyond the limits of -ordinary experiences. -initial experience (hallucinations) is very brief (few seconds to minutes). However it is important to allow that some experiences may be longer. But, at least we can say that experience is transient. Experience is usually very pleasurable and peaceful (not always). People want more of these experiences - usually helpful-life transforming as well as wanting to be a better person. It is often difficult to put into words. Some have some specific insight into themselves and the world. Three different types: cultivated - prayer or meditation. Substance - when hallucinogenic. 10% to 25% of the population have a Transcendence experience (Shade and Bental 1988).

I owe you a good blog. Today it is tid bits.

Goodmorning. I know I am behind providing you with my school notes; my bad. I have one more conference notes for you regarding transendance and for sure you will get it next week. I am now examining what conferences I am thinking of attending this year. My college requirement is 40 hours every two years and I already exceeded this amount which I will report to them in September. I cannot accumilate hours and that is ok. I need to keep growing and learning for the benefit of my clients. This is a year where so much is being offered and so I am keeping my options open until early deadlines. One of the reasons it is so hard to leave Toronto and begin a private practice in Niagara Falls is simply because everything is here. I have two very good universities right here and I have received a degree from both. I have teased with the idea of continuing to a PHD but it will cost a lot more money and time. I do need to use my brain though it is good to have a rest as well. I hope you all have a place where you can find solace to replenish your soul. Mine is in nature, in exploration in being nurtured and just being. I am fortunate that I have had parents who taught me how to work hard and play. I realize that growing up I was involved in so much. I worked part time since I was 13 years old, because I loved it. I also liked earning my own money. I went to dances, I took swimming lessons and I ice skated. I was reading a journal I had to write for school (as you know I am reading everything I have and discarding it after I type it out for blogging or other writing) and I was amazed at how much I was doing. It is no wonder that I believed sleeping was a waste of time. It is now in this phase of my life that I ensure I sleep enough each day. Fortunately, I have never not suffered from not being able to sleep which served me well in my first major career. How many careers can a person have? How long can I live? Balance is the trick and I do it well. I have and am very socialized. I can talk to anyone and consider every human being an equal. If it wasn't for my present profession, I probably wouldn't be on the internet at all. That is how much I like being with people in real life. I think it is important for people to be able to see other people's point of view. In families there can be much turmoil when one thinks differently than another and all too often there are little cliques where it is felt there is moral support and therefore it is accurate against a parent or sibling. Children need to be protected and children also need family time and fun. They need to be children. They need to have positive people in their lives so they can build up a resilience when they encounter saddnes in their lives. One of my biggest concerns right now is the amount of bullying that exists which is not being handled efficiently right now in the school systems. Every child who goes to school needs to feel that she is safe. Every teacher or staff member should ensure she is. There is a lot of controversy about children on the internet. However, there are also many parents indulging, taking time away from their children though they are together. Yesterday I happened to be in a mall watching a baby smiling at her mom who was emersed on her media. I wondered if the mom would look away, and see such a cherishing moment. I know that though some parents, especially separated or divorced feel that just being with their children is enough. It is not. If the parent is constantly on the phone or texting or looking at her social media, than the parent is not present. I have heard this complaint from children. Sometimes parents also think it is good for their children to just sit with their computer away "from negative influences". Reality check - who is your child speaking to? It is beyond me why parents are not encouraged to take courses to learn how to rear children. I remember one person telling me that he learned normality from television family shows. What show would a child watch now to see another healthy way of life? Oh well. If you are reading my blog and have a child just think a bit of what I typed. Are you really present with your child? Do you find that you provide lots of attractive gifts to make up for the time you do not spend with your child? Do you tell your child to stay indoors so you know where they are? I see addictions to video games and internet viewing at such a young age. So this is my tidbits for today. If you ever want me to write about anything of interest to you let me know. If I know something about it, I will share. In the meantime have a good weekend. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a treat. Become more focused on how you react to others, and how others react to you. How is your family system? Do you spend quality time with your child? Do you have fun? One of the questions I ask parents is where is the fun? What do you think?

Loneliness

I want to share with you a bit from what I read in Psychology Today, April 2018 edition regarding loneliness because I do think it is a problem in today’s society. I see it with teens who spend excessive time alone on the internet. I see it with people suffering who are unable to share and become withdrawn. I see it in occupations where socializing is restricted. I see it so much that I am glad it is a topic of concern. They are roughly twice as likely to die of all causes. “Loneliness is not simply being alone,” indicates John Cacioppo, the director of the University of Chicago’s Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience and author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (p 45). Researchers make a point of distinguishing the effects of loneliness from those of depression. Depression does elevate the risk for Alzheimer’s slightly but not as much as loneliness (p 46). Being married does not protect you from being lonely. A 2012 study followed 1600 adults over 60 for six years. Out of 43% of participants who reported chronic loneliness, more than half were married. Loneliness has also increased dramatically among teens and young adults. A recent British study found that the youngest people surveyed between 16 and 24 were the most likely of all age groups to report feeling lonely (p48). In the USA loneliness is especially lethal for military veterans. A 2017 study by Yale researchers found the biggest contributor to veteran suicides on average 20 a day was not war related trauma but loneliness. Approximately 40% of Americans reported regularly feeling lonely in 2010, up from about 20% in the 80’s. The number of Americans who say they have no one to confide in nearly tripled between 1985 and 2005 (p49). Now of course being Canadian, I will like to talk about the Canadian Veteran. Sage, spring edition, 2018, dedicated the entire magazine to Veterans. According to Veteran Affairs Canada, the number of homeless veterans has grown each year since 2015. On Jan 1, 2015, the department reported 475 homeless vets. In one year that number has grown to 578. As of Jan 1, 2017, there were 687 homeless vets, then 770 in Sept 2017. Canadian Vets are more prone to suicide. Suicide risk for male veterans of all ages is 36% higher than for men who never served. Those under 25 years of age are 242% more likely to kill themselves than non vets of the same age (SAGE, p 28). Homeless shelters only began being asked about veterans a year ago….”unlike the U.S., Canada was doing practically nothing about homeless vets (SAGE, p 8). I have provided you with some info regarding the articles and if you want more, please feel free to look up the references. It was during my first basic psychology course that my professor said that the Aunt Martha that people used to confide in is no longer for many. Sometimes, just being able to talk to someone, to confide in someone has been replaced by the therapist. I know that for myself as a therapist, I normally ask if the client has a confident, a social network, a group of friends, however what is important is the quality of those relations. I always promote a balance, a hobby, an outlet for those who need it. I do not find it amazing that some have no time for themselves because they spend all their time helping or nurturing others. They need to slow down, reflect and begin to take care of themselves, to have a life so to speak. They need to spend time with others to have “fun.” I hope for those of you who read this article and can identify with this, that you begin to think of ways to feel less lonely. Alone time is important. However, socialization is important too. We need others in our lives. Why not take a chance on someone today who you would like to meet? Why not tell your partner how you are feeling? Why not join a club, take a cooking course etc…and meet other people who you may have something in common with? Why not smile at a person today? What do you think? I wish you all a Happy Easter this weekend. If you have no family why not invite a friend? You can choose your friends. You can choose to mingle with those you feel a commonality with. You cannot really change others, but you can certainly make changes yourself. If you think no one cares, you are wrong. Many do care and do great things to reach out. Feeling lonely surrounded by lots of people? Go find someone you have something in common with. Go find someone who appreciates you for you. I find that so many feel guilt and shame when that has been instilled by the actions of others. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love you. Then go out there and start talking to people. Meet a friend for lunch and tell her or him how you are feeling. What do you think? Happy Easter everyone and thank you for reading my blogs.

Scam Alert

Hi, On a weekly basis there are attempts to scam me and it gets rather tiresome and time consuming. It also takes up too much of my time. A few weeks ago a neighbour came to see me and let me hear the voice mail on her cell phone. It was a man's authorative deep voice saying that if she didn't pay a certain sum, for I think it was revenue Canada, the police were going to come and arrest her. Yah, yah, yah........I informed my client that the police would never call and leave a message like that. These scams can be very disturbing for some. These people are after your money whether you have any or not and people regardless of education etc.....provide that money out of fear. Fear is my business and so I will start copying some of the stuff I get so you have an inkling of what to expect. I have also been having calls claiming to be from google asking me to press 7 or 9 to continue or naught. I called google in the States and saw them here at the HOme show. I provided them with the number and also reported them to the do not call list. Please do not press these numbers when you are asked. Hang up. So, note the below. Very tiresome, but when I get lemons, I like to make lemonade, so here is a tip from me to you. I am still doing my taxes and am seriously thinking of hiring someone next year. I may be ripping myself off. I will write another blog as promised this week about lonliness. I have also been reading more about veterans pertaining to the USA and us here. So, have a good week. And thank you for reading my blogs. This letter is notifying you of the death of my client. I am contacting you to inform you that a notice has been given by the bank that if no one comes forward for the claim of the assets of the deceased that it will be marked as ownerless and subsequently claimed by the Government. I found your name in some of the documents of the deceased and traced your email through an advanced search.I am contacting you because you bear the same last name with my late client.I want to know if you are in anyway related to my late client. Please respond with your full name and contact telephone number. Best Regards, William Ryan Esq

The tax person

I know I wanted to write to you about an article I read regarding lonliness. I also have one more conference to share with you regarding transcendence. However, as you know life happens and I have to focus on my income tax and clients this week, as well as my weekly dose of fun. I will let you know what I did for fun next week. If I tell you now and I do not have fun, than it is not fair to you, nor me. Stay tuned. I want to thank you all who read my blogs. USA, you are my favourite country outside my own of course. I love New York and Disney World is my favourite destination. If I was wealth, I would have a condo at Disney for sure. As I get older and my family and friends spend more time in Florida, I am left behind with my life in progress. I am not complaining. I love my life. However, I also love sun.........I have a priority. What is your priority? What stage in life are you at? Are you young and trying to find your station in life? Are you finding yourself happy? Are you older looking back at your life and wish you had done things differently? Some can stay stuck in the past and forget about living in the moment. I have always had dreams which is part of my life. I have probably done everything I have wanted to. Life is not long enough for me to try more careers. I would love to be a lawyer, an investigative reporter, an actor, a professional singer, a ............ If I had more lives I would experience more careers and more hobbies and more of life, because I love it so. What are you doing in your life? Do you enjoy going to work? Do you smile as you greet your partner or go home to him or her? Do you feel good about yourself? Why not take a look in the mirror today. Who do you see? Now smile and tell yourself how beautiful you are and how you love yourself. Keep doing this, if you are not feeling it, each morning. One morning you may surprise yourself and actually see the beauty within you. What do you think?

Come From Away - musical. What do you enjoy? Explore your feelings.

This is certainly the best musical I saw this past year. It evoked emotions that surprised me. I laughed, I teared, I was happy and I was contemplative. What happened at the terrorist attack with the twin towers, and other disasters during 9/11 clearly more than upset the world, as it was designed to do so. However, what the terrorist fails to realize due to his limitations, is how people bond, and how the best can be seen as well with those suffering. This theatre show is definitely about bonding, but it is even much more. The setting is Gander Newfoundland where airplanes land and park, following the acts of terrorism during 9/11. I too learned a bit more about my country. I didn't realize that Gander is small. I thought it was a metropolitan city because of the size of its airport. I learned a bit about their customs and structure. This is a production that won awards because it is amazing, the acting, singing and story. I don't want to say too much more because I do not want to give anything away as a spoiler alert. One of the things I normally ask my clients is what do they do for fun? What do they like? What are their hobbies? What I do find is that some have no interests. They think they may have no interest because they are overwhelmed, or depressed or etc.....They may fail to enjoy hobbies, etc....because they have never had the opportunity to try or they had a bad experience. I always encourage a balance no matter how busy one seems to think he or she is. I encourage a balance to enjoy what life offers. Humans are not meant to live isolated. As I watched the performance I was quite aware of all the emotions I was feeling because I have been trained to do so. You can learn too to focus on how you are feeling in the moment and try to explain this feeling to yourself or someone close to you. Explore how you feel when you are in the company of other(s). Is it positive? Negative? Why? If negative, what are you going to do about it, now that you are acutely aware? What makes you laugh and/or cry? What memories are conjured? Why not take some time this weekend to reflect? What is you position in politics, religion, quality of relationships, definition of fun? Does any of this make you mad, sad or happy? Are you content? More than content? Less than content? What do you do to relax? Is it healthy? Do you try to escape by drinking, taking drugs, or have you realized that you may have an addiction because you cannot seem to stop or have binges? Take some time to reflect and ask yourself if you are where you want to be? If not, why not start today to make a change in your life, whatever it may be you need? Do you need to develop coping skills? Do you need a satisfying job? Do you need a healthier relationship with someone in your life? Do you need to find a way to forgive? Do you need to find something to enjoy? Do you need to take control back for your life, or make a change? Why not start right now? What do you think? Have a nice weekend. I shall.