Taking time for my book

I find it best to write as soon as I get up after my morning ritual with coffee by my side. I am reviewing and editing what I have written so far and I believe it is quite a lot. I am trying to get myself psyched back to the period of time I am writing about. This book is not the same as my first. My first I wrote in two months during my breaks surrounded by crowds of students. I had fun with it. I also learned how hard it is to sell a book. I have learned from that. If any of you want to buy a copy, send me a cheque to my business office and I will mail you a copy (no taxes, or delivery charges). Next month I shall be at York University again selling it there at their show case. This book requires reflection, a quiet space and nature. I cannot write from my office. I look out at the trees from my home and pause to see a chirping bird or funny squirrel who I feed incognito. I don't want the neighbours to see because they do not share my love. My squirrel likes to lay down on my deck while I sit and read. The other day, my squirrel was cleaning himself and it looked more like an aerobic exercise. I had to stop my writing to laugh. It is so unfortunate that people can be so cruel to animals because they bring such joy and love. Being cruel to animals should be taken very seriously, even if one does not care about animals because it escalates to people. I can always spot an unhappy pet which reveals so much about the owner. Anyhow, I am moving away from my topic of writing. My space for this book requires peaceful reflection and nature. Friday, I began reading and editing early morning and before I kne w it was 1pm. Where did the time go? I understand how writers can write so many books if they have the time to do it. I am very structural and so I have to redesign my life to fit my writing early morning before I am distracted by life. I like to work at my writing when my mind is clear and that is not very often because I am busy with so many things. I thought I would share this with you. If any of you like to write, just do it. Start now! Just write what you want to talk about and not worry how it looks in print. You may return to it later. I have a few more hours to work on my book and then I have to focus on Thanksgiving. I have to decide what I need for it. Again, Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for reading my blog. Don't hesitate to contact me if you need counselling. That is why I am here - Silva style.

Happy Thanksgiving

This is a time of celebrating what we have. It is a North American tradition. The States celebrates on a different day. I stopped eating meat when I saw a neighbour kill a rabbit which quite affected me and so what I once feasted on has changed. I no longer eat animals. Most of my closest family and friends have died and so my celebration with my definition of family has also changed. I have always dreamed of having a huge family because my friends who did have big families partied hard and I always loved parties and still do. What I celebrate now is what I have accomplished, who my closest friends are and my immediate family in my own home. I celebrate life. I celebrate that Canada is my home. I honour her and love her. I celebrate the sacrifices that people make to help us live in such a beautiful country so "glorious and free." I celebrate our standard of living, keeping in mind that we are so better off than many in the rest of the world. I celebrate my freedom of having a voice and not be hindered to succeed because I am a woman. When people came to North America, they came with the hope and desires for a better life and I know that my parents got that for themselves. As babies or children we need to go where our parents take us and where we are born, is not our decision. As adults we sometimes have a choice. As I watch the news and hear how many people die trying to escape their countries, there is an awareness that I can never take freedom for granted. Where ever you are today, why not ask yourself, what you can celebrate? It may be just being alive and that is indeed something to celebrate! Take a look at your life. Who is your family? Are you happy? Are you happy with what life style you have? Are you happy in your chosen career? Are you happy in the country that you have either chosen to live in or are forced to live in? Do you feel free to be yourself and accomplish what you want to accomplish? Are you proud of your country? Are you proud of your accomplishments or where you are headed to? I always say that we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. You cannot live to fulfill the dreams of others. You cannot be there to meet the standards of what others may want from you. That may be appropriate in the work force, but it is a strain within those closest to you. Why not take the time this Thanksgiving weekend, to examine your life. Take 15 minutes and write down what you are struggling with and then write down what you are thankful for. Where do you find that you had to think the hardest about? What was easier for you to write down? Why? Are you sad? Why? What would make you less sad and even more what would make you happier? I want to thank everyone in my life who has enhanced it. I want to thank my country for having me. I want to thank God and country for all I have. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, turkey or not!

My new posted picture, politics, and my seminar yesterday

At my last book sale event downtown, one of the men who approached my table remarked that I did not look like my picture in my back cover. I was not too disturbed about that. The author on my right was constantly being informed that she did not look like her picture. So recently, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided it was time to put on another face. During one of my business seminars, I learned that we should post professional pictures etc......So of course in this instance I did the opposite. This is me, in the morning, with no makeup, with blonde hair, making faces, snapping pictures and having fun. The birds are a nice contribution from my new computer. It is two years since my last photo. I forgot that I change my hair colour as often as the sales permit. Anyhow, enough about my photo. We need humour in life. Yesterday, I attended another day event. This was outside my professional organizations. It began with a politician. We were informed that she came, regardless of her busy schedule. That killed me. I am always amused by politicians. They have this aura of importance, sophistication and smoothness. This of course excludes the city favourite "Rob Ford". After all the people voted for him, perhaps because of his no nonsence, matter of fact, let's stop the "gravy train." After her short speech and before she disappeared to another venue, where she would be appreciated because of her busy schedule, we were informed by the host to vote for her. Again, I was amused. I turned to the woman at my right and said "conservative." She nodded in agreement. So much for that attempt at voting liberal. However, I am sure that many will vote for who they are told to vote for. We forget that in a democratic society that voting should always be a personal and informed choice. All I can think of is what I call the "billion dollar apology." We were placed in groups of about fifteen or twenty and then my group went into our first stream. The facilitator is an actor and he conducts some sort of what I would call therapy. He has everyone describing themselves as a fruit. Then we play a game where we call out the fruit, from one place of the room and exchange places with that person at the centre of the room. It was quite fun and I determined that it was a form of memory exercise. I was also interested in how people defined themselves as a particular fruit. Then we had to identify some aspect of ourselves and if someone else shared that, then we would have to move to a place that was emptied by another, and if we were the odd person out, than we would be the ones to identify something new. Finally, and before a bell rang that our time was up in this group work, we described our health perspective from when we were 10 years old, to our present time, from a half point time in our lives. We would move from one portion of the room to the other from a percentage of 1 to 100. At the end of that, people had the opportunity to share why they felt their health merited the score they gave themselves. I found it interesting to note that health changed and reversed itself. Some of the group felt better as an older person. Before people had the opportunity to share the bell rang that our session was over. This was too bad, because it would have offered the people to share more. I found this technique quite interesting and will certainly want to lear more about it. I deduced that this was a type of memory exercise, reflective exercise, physical exercise and support exercise. It also offered the group to talk about something that bothers them. I stored this into memory for the future. A fairly big space is required. During our next session, the woman identified herself as a "specialist," the word medical was in there and something else that I cannot recall. I never heard of this title before and no qualifications were offered. I have no idea if she has university training, college or a certificate. I am always cautious when no education is revealed. I am cautious when no college or association is revealed that the person is responsible to. It did not take long for her biases to be revealed. She believes that female physicians are better than male physicians. She talked about being informed and medications that may not be suitable for the individual. I listened and then having a big mouth, I called it. I spoke of biases. I informed her and the group that there are no differences in the quality of service by a doctor simply by gender alone. I also spoke of the importance of not disregarding the importance of medication. I was afraid that people would leave the room and stop taking their medications. I said as much. I think her information was much more guarded afterwards - biases removed. Later she approached me, thanking me for making her more aware of the consequences. I told her that people come from a variation of cultures and education. With some in the group, their English language is limited. They may not have access to what is available to make an informed decision. In other words they may take what she is saying as gospel. I was not impressed. OUr final session was very informative. She is a dietician and she quickly made us a smoothie and a healthy bean spread. I left there deciding that I am replacing ice cream with yogurt. I will search for my blender and will eat more healthy. Lunch was also very, very healthy. Let's see how I make out? I believe in balance so I am not giving up my pizza, banana splits etc....However, they will not be my staple food, no sireeeee. It was a very informative day in more ways than one. Next week I will be going to a FSNA meeting and a business forum type of day. The latter will be my first. I shall let you know if there is anything I learn that may be of interest. To summarize from what I learned today which was either learned through observation, omission and actual instruction: Vote for who you want and not from a person telling you who to vote for. There may be interior motives. There are countries where people have no choices. We are not one of them. Know the qualifications of who is speaking to you. Titles can be very glossy and misleading. Try to separate biases. This is learned and subjective. Always take medication as prescribed and don't just stop medication prescribed. This can have serious consequences. Speak to your doctor about your concerns and if you are not happy with your physician, find another. I shopped around after my last physician closed up shop. I saw three before I halted at this one. It is your body and it is your final decision but you want the best care and need to get it from the people who are trained to provide it. What do you think?

Health Benefits------Did I mention I am with FSNA? I kind of volunteer

On Guard is the National Association of Federal Retirees Newsletters. This Association is open to all retired Federal employees (including the military, RCMP and Judges). I have belonged to it for quite a few years since I retired the first time. I remember my first day clearly. I told them I had retired. A group of elderly men huddled in a group and eyed me suspiciously. I understood their background and understood their suspicions. The leader of the group, approached me and asked for ID - for proof of who I was. I offered it willingly amused that they thought I was too young to retire. I had the same reaction from the OHIP people. I had the same reaction from some people I encountered. I was not always amused because I considered my self quite mature. Since, I have been asked to volunteer quite a few times. I always say no to volunteering. That was instilled in my first occupation - never volunteer. You must read book two for more info on that. It is not finished. Anyhow, I eventually did volunteer because I believe in giving back. I also felt guilty saying no since others so much older than myself were starting to die. This association like so many depend on volunteers to make it work. We are 185,000 members according to the last On Guard quarterly, volume 51 No. 3 Fall 2013. I am an assistant Health Benefits Officer for Toronto (what is the abbreviation for assistant?). I sometimes get a call and it is quite simple. But this time I got a call and spent two days working on it. I shall share it with you all because this concerns you all. Physiotherapy is no longer covered by OHIP. However, Physiotherapy is publically funded. In the past, remote areas outside of Toronto did not have the same resources that we enjoy here. Now resources will expand. Regarding Physiotherapy, there are publically funded clinics which are provided with "episodes of care". Each episode is $312.00 worth of care. So one publically funded clinic may have 100 episodes of care and another at another amount. There is a site which provides clinics publically funded. www.ontario.ca/physiotherapy. This list will be expanding. You do need to be over 65 years of age to qualify for this. There are and will be other public funded assistance such as exercise (for injuries, etc..as an example) and clinics will share this. There are questions and Answers being prepared by the government at this moment. There is also a Senior Information Line - 1-888-910-1999. Keep in mind that I was going in circles for a few days and finally I got the right information from our government. Now I understand the confusion. It is new and the rules are not written out for everyone. This will come. It is important for all people to know what care is afforded to them. In this situation, I was looking into a request for someone over 65. I thought I would share this with you because it applies to all. What do you think?

The weekend is fast approaching

For many people but not all, the weekend is a time for family and friends. Many continue to work on these days and have other days off. Others have more than one job, just to make ends meet. There seems to be more of a division between the rich and poor, with the middle class not as stable as it once was. What is hopeful, is the youth of today. It is rare that I do not see some youth or other supporting some cause or other. Feeding the children seems to be more of a concern now among our youth, than it ever was in my generation. With technology today, we are all aware of international news. People from various countries may deny, deny, deny.....but eyes are slowly opening. With international chaos, and chaos in personal lives, one needs to re-nourish, stop - smell the roses and begin again the independent roles that exist. Self care is important for every one. The more stress that one has in life, the more one requires to take better care. Too much stress over two years will effect your health. Getting enough sleep for your body, food for your body and rest for your mind are all the requirements for a balanced life. This weekend, try to do something for yourself. Daily, try to spend at least a half hour of self care. It may be as simple as a walk, enhaling nature. Try to find it. On my front line, I have two bunnies on a swing. I sometimes notice, mostly children pushing the swing, while a parent tries to stop this. One early morning, I was looking out, when a jogger, stopped running, pushed the little swing and continued with his run. I smiled, satisfied, that a little swing could bring pause and a smile for so many. I am city all the way. The longer I live, the more I realize that my heart is in the city. The bigger, the better and the city that captured my heart is New York, Manhatten. I love the culture, the multi-nationalism and the variety that a city offers. In each city there is a monumental park. It is in those parks, where I stay intuned to my inner self. How do you define yourself? Where do you prefer to live? How do you find inner peace? Where do you rest your soul? Where do you re-nurture yourself? Why not think about your life this weekend and ask yourself if you feel rested and at peace? If you can stop during a run and smell a rose or push a swing and smile, you may be where you want to be. If you are not happy with your life, if you are being abused in your life or if you have no satisfication in your life, why not spend sometime this weekend asking yourself why? What can you do about it? How can you find rest and nourishment? What do you think?

I am back.........bringing you up to date

I want to thank you for your patience. I have been busy writing papers etc.... My fee is now $100.00 for a 50 minute hour. I have also been at the Oakwood Fairbanks fair and last Sunday's Word on the Street. Saturday was spent at a conference with the Ontario Association of Family Therapy regarding the new college of psychotherapy set to be in force for April. There are many exciting changes (in my opinion). I am planning to return to my writing for fun beginning tomorrow morning. It is a hobby which I love. During the weekend I was surrounded by very serious writers. I was surrounded by mystery writers, vampires and fantasy. Then there was me with my little book, "Hey Guy Buy Me." My day was made when a young woman who bought my book last year approached me and told me she liked my style of writing. I informed her that my next two books would be a different style but that did not stop her from being nice and saying that she was looking forward to my next book. Another author also bought my book and I found that very complimentary. He read it and corrected it promptly. I learned a lot watching seasoned authors sell their products. Did you know that it is good to stand? I do not know who decided that? I don't think it is a good idea to stand and tower over a shorter person. In counselling I do not tower over my clients. I am an equal party, with the same uncomfortable or comfortable chair. Eventually, I hope to have a sofa and choice is always offered to the client. That seems like such a contradiction. But I saw how effective it was in selling books. I heard the same lines which I initially thought was original. I just want to write for fun and hopefully sell some but a sales person I am not. I shall continue to sit so my book lovers can stare down at me and not vice versa. That is until I can sit no more. But I did get a lot of advice and tips and I am grateful that the seasoned writers even acknowledged me, let alone try to help me along. I was motivated however by authors and readers alike, especially my only fan that made my day. I wrote, "Hey Guy Buy Me" for pure fun. My second book is in progress with many interruptions. November I will be attending a two day conference which I am very excited about. Topics will include Helping Couples recover from Infidelity, Sex starved Marriage, Divorce Busting: Restoring Hope to "On the Brink" Couples, Couples Therapy with Individuals and of course more information about the new College of Registered Psychotherapists. Today I saw a hand written note advertising counselling and diagnosis with no qualifications what so ever listed. I am so happy that after the college is in effect people none qualified to practise will not be able to do so. This has been something that bothered me since undergrad when I first heard that anyone could hang a shingle. The college is protection for the public. With all the scams out there today, it is about time that the government takes more responsibility to protect the public.

Busy time......I am almost back

It is still crunch time, but the majority of the work is done. I have also successfully completed another test and testing is the operative word. It will be nice when all this comes together and I can focus on other things - like continue writing my second book which was almost completed when I had to put it aside. I would have had it finished by now. What I have learned however is that my office is not my creative space. My creative space is in nature surrounded by birds, squirrels and other little creatures that live in Toronto. I do not dismiss the flowers and the trees. That is all my peace. Where do you find yours? It is important that you have a space of peace and tranquility. In three weeks (21 Sept 13) I will be selling my book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" once again at the street fair at Oakwood and Rogers. Remember I only wrote that for fun. On 22 Sept, I will be selling it, at Word on the Street, Queens Park. If you have not picked up a copy, why not come and visit. I was hoping to have my second one ready but that is not the case. I will probably be returning to York University in November to sell it there again once again. I love writing for fun. I have since I was a child. What do you love to do? If you don`t know what it is, it may be time to start to discover what it is.