Here is my card for you

Word on the Street : I am back in September

Waging Peace During Family Break Up by H. Nabert, Fathers Resources Inc., Canada From the Men’s Conference web site is www.Fathers-Resources.com

Director is Heidi Nabert, Fathers Resources International. The speaker indicated that many families don’t get married. Waging wars equals finance hardship for the entire family. There is emotional turmoil for the entire family. It hurts the child’s self esteem. She experienced this too. - Dad goes to jail. She provided her own story. Thirty-five years ago when she was married to husband number 1, her lawyer asked why she was leaving him. The reason she told him was that he didn’t want children. How the lawyer responded was to tell her to call the police and say that he hit her. Then she would have grounds for divorce and money. Waging war causes stress which can lead to health issues. One had a heart attack and another died from cancer. Waging peace minimizes child’s guilt. An example: Child is a five year old girl. Parents are fighting and split up. Dad never returned and mom was in a mental institution for six months. She blamed herself. Her mom had told her to tell people her dad had died. Difference between the 1960’s and now? About half of classes now divorce - so have peer support. The focus is on the child’s need. The child loves both parents. Don’t make the child choose sides because you’re angry. Help your child create a card or bake cookies for mother’s day. Help the child choose a gift for the ex’s birthday. Mother says to four year old child, “You can’t love dad here.” Dad states, “That’s ok- in this house you can love everyone.” One client refused to attend their child’s church event until he understood that he would hurt his child by not attending. The Host would call the client every night and ask if he was a coward or a hero. He did go to the event and he reported to her,” You wouldn’t believe how pissed my ex was.” They were in two different cities. This should be the end of the Men’s Conference. There was another lecture to be given by the University of Israel, but this event began the day after Hamas attack and so of course the university did not attend though notes were graciously provided to the Host. I may find some more notes and if so, will share. Again, I won’t be able to attend this year because I shall be at Toronto’s Word on the Street for a two day event selling my books. Rather having it in the summer, they are having it in the fall. This Saturday I will be at the Crime Author’s Event at the Harbour Front and am looking forward to it. As for my practice, I am now seeing clients in person or on line (your choice). Thank you. Should you want to buy a book of mine, I am willing to mail them to any place in the world. Just provide me with your address and I shall let you know how much it would cost you. I realize that my blog is read world wide and because of that I would ask you to send me payment in Canadian Dollars and I will provide you with a receipt. If you would like to make an appointment for therapy I am licensed for Ontario only as are other Registered Therapists in Ontario. I provide priority with times and days except Sunday to all emergency response persons. I am also providing the same priority to the Jewish Community since there has been such a drastic rise of hate directed towards the community never faced before in Toronto. I will provide another reminder for my book signing event this Saturday. It is my opportunity to meet all book lovers and fans of crime and talk. Please feel free to approach me. I do love all people. This week I was blessed by a Sikh at random. What a delight. I can sure use blessings.

Festival of Authors - (Toronto Harbourfront) Come and meet me and buy Ominous for $25.00 - Bring cash (receipts provided of course)

Next Saturday, not tomorrow, I will be down at the Waterfront with the Crime Writers of Canada from 11:00 to 7pm selling my books. I am going to bring all four of my books but two are about crime so I hope it is ok. I will be selling "Hey Guy Buy Me" for $5.00; "For Love of Country Military Police Woman" $19.95; "The Internet Murders" for 14.95 and of course "Ominous", my new release, for $24.95. I will provide you with a reminder next week. I do believe there is an entrance fee for this one. I have been so busy this year that I haven't had time to write my next book though there is a preview for you. If I ever get organized, I will be able to start. Mr Attitude swatted the St Bernard next door yesterday and he looked like he was going to attack the alarm man this morning.....I may have to put him in jail. Naw!!!!!At 21 years of age he is becoming less scared and more territorial. I have created a monster. When I was dancing he debated jumping on me but I realized in time. That would have been a knock out for me. He loves it when I pick him up to dance. Since I wasn't doing that, he almost didn't give me a choice. I therefore picked up the little guy and we danced. I love the little guy but boy what Attitude! Good talk. Have a good weekend. Come and say hello next week. If we are friends or related, I take my coffee small and black........ You may always purchase a book from me directly or on my web site. www.silvaredigonda.ca If you have a book store, reading club etc..... in Toronto or area, I am available for any meet and greet.

We need to protect the Jews. Never again……….

I have been trying very hard not to talk about this topic, but by not talking we may become complicit. Due to the rise in anti-semitism in Toronto, which I find shameful, I need to speak and to speak loudly. Never again! What prompted me? I was reading an article which is not up to me to share but I will quote this, “I never heard an Anti-Semitic slur ——-in 43 years.” It broke my heart. This person said much more about how Jews are now afraid to go to school, in my beautiful city. I know I complain about my town all the time. But it is mine. I want it to be better. I love my town. Aside from my travels and work I have always been here since my parents brought me here when I was one year and a half years old. Yes, I will probably move to Niagara Falls but that has always been the plan though I prefer New York City and/or Disney World. I realize I have worked hard all my life, getting my first pay check when I was 13 years old which taught me independence. I am still working and wonder if I would be able to retire due to the economy. Seniors are now living in the streets. There are struggles never seen before and this has now reached our Jewish community. Where did we go wrong, because this is very wrong. When I was in elementary school, we learned about the killing of six million Jews. We learned about slavery. We learned that this was wrong. When I was a life guard as a teen we learned that “whomever you see in distress, recognize in him a fellow man.” I would go home and I was fortunate that my mother was able to explain further to me the complexities of human nature. Then I joined the Military Police and spent four years in Europe and six months in the Middle East of those 20 years and learned more about the complexities. I returned to school and majored in psychology until I did finally understand how and why, and how to help people heal, which continued into my Masters where I studied under the Jesuits. That was not enough and so I attended the Toronto School of Theology and learned more and more and more. My life has been helping people by providing them with a sense of justice and later by helping them heal. I have helped people of all religions, colour and cultures. I have continued learning by those who have reached out to me for help. My life has been enhanced by my work and love for the people - all people. A Priest friend of mine whom I met and served with in the military told me that he had had been rejected from going to Sunnybrook Veteran Hospital when he developed ALS, because he was not a world war veteran. You see his medals included serving in the Gulf War which was not enough. I cannot forgive that. He said to me, “You know Silva, we learned from the military that we should live with the people.” He did not want to be with his peers, he wanted to be with the people. As I reflect, I have been so fortunate to have been surrounded by such inspiring loving intellectuals - all men. I have been blessed so much. When Hamas attacked and killed, it was the beginning of a war. When I called out Hamas as the Terrorists and not Jews as I was asked, on Facebook, there was a barrage of verbal hatred spewing of the most venomous acts towards me. I know that I was safe here in Canada but it didn’t feel that way. Of course I reported it to Facebook. This was apparently an American who had led me to believe what he wasn’t. I do not accept invites from people I do not know and this is why. If I haven’t actually met you, sorry….not…This is the world we live in today. I knew Israel would retaliate. Hamas knew as well and they hid in hospitals, in tunnels, where children were being the cowards and terrorists they are. But do they have the intellect? Who is pulling the strings? Who is behind all this? Who is at work? Do I like what is happening in the Middle East? Of course not. I deplore war. I detest that so many children and woman and other innocents have died and are suffering. I believe in freedom, but what is happening here in Toronto is not freedom. It is not freedom when Jews do not feel safe going to school. It is not freedom when art work releases smoke of hate. It is not freedom when shots are fired at a Hebrew elementary school. Yesterday, I watched the news and American Lawyers who are Jews have come to Toronto to support our youth. They will be suing schools not doing enough to protect them and I am so glad. It is about time, something is being done and it does not surprise me that it is coming from the States. Again on the news about a week ago, a woman was protesting at Parliament Hill and I was startled when she said she wanted to leave Canada because we support the Jews. She said she had been living here for 25 years. I had to wonder why did she come to Canada? Was it to escape? Was it to have a better life? The reason to leave is because we support the Jews? It pained me to see a physics professor at the University of Toronto upset because as a Jew he was feeling victimized. Hate of any kind has no place here in Toronto. Regardless, of religious beliefs, political beliefs etc….we should all feel safe. That is changing. We are failing, but we still have time. Every student should feel safe at school. There should be no tolerance for any kind of hate. We cannot have staff and professors, TA’s or assistant professors intimidating students. Students need to feel heard regardless of their religion. They need to feel safe, while they are learning. We need some very strong leadership to deal with this mess and it is time for people out there to start voting. Do you want to vote for someone who is kicked out of Parliament like the NDP Jill was in my riding? We need politicians who can protect all people; who represent all people. No Canadian should ever feel that they don’t belong anymore. Get out there and vote! No, politicians are not all the same. Stop complaining and actually do something, even if it is voting. While some politicians are suitable for a board meeting, it involves another class to take a strong leadership role and upgrade the laws which are failing us. People have struggled to be able to vote. What has surprised me is that in all of this mess there has not been the same vigorous outcry to release the hostages. What are you waiting for Hamas? Let’s stop this war and don’t you dare bring it to my home.

(Men’s Conference) What Guy Wouldn’t Want It? Young Male Victimization Experiences With Female-Perpetrated Stranger Sexual Harassment by C.Erentizen and others, Toronto Metropolitan and York Universities, Toronto Canada.

Stranger Harassment: Unwanted attention from a stranger (high percentage of women report regular experiences). This causes a negative impact on mental health and body image. Historically this was men to women. It is happening in the digital age. Public spaces have changed as we move online. Technology - facilitated sexual violence (TFSU). Unsolicited nudes; solicitation; generally aversive to recipients, leads to shame, disgust; anger. Male victims show significant psychological distress. Participants 323, male identified, ages 16 to 23. (M=19.45). Prevalence of female perpetrators harassment in the past year; seven in person items, 5 on line items - open - ended description. Prevalence: one third - none consensual touching; 20% received nude pictures and 10% money in exchange for sex. Three women bothered a male on a bus. He said no, he had a girlfriend and had to get off the bus. It was unwanted and uncomfortable. Aggressive women: She touched me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Aggressive and non consensual touching/assault. Woman kept touching his crotch. “I hated it and didn’t know what to do. She was laughing.” There was a second study of 261 male identified (16-23 of age). Same results. Study Two: Question imposed. How did you change so this doesn’t happen. Avoidance locations: 58%, choose clothing: 50%, unsafe on transit 50%. About 25% had to get off line. Themes: In person 6-19. Sexual abuse and assault, older women, gender role conflict. 15 year old and “woman came and fondled me.” 15 year old and mom’s friend - Kissed and touched him and he didn’t know what to do. "Woman got off the bus and wanted me to go to a different location." "I was nine - cousin's friend - kissed him and touched him and he didn't know what to do. In another case a female went on him for a lap dance which he didn’t want and she called him a pussy. There was a huge experience of being asked for nude pictures on line. Conclusion: There is prevalence among young males. Begins early, is unwanted and has serious impact. Future Directions: - intersectional identifies - Intervention and educational strategies. It is ok to say no to a female. This is not ok. There is more I have to report from the conference. Unfortunately I have to miss it this year because I will be at Word on The Street. I will have to also miss the American Association of Family Therapy Conference because they are having it in person and of course I cannot leave Mr Attitude. Oh well.

Wonderful weekend and a meal at Hogan's Restaurant is the best - Wonderful Weekend .......almost

I don't often critique restaurants but I had the best meal in a year at Hogan's Restaurant. It's located at 12998 Keele Street, King City. L7B 1H8. Just outside Toronto. It is a bit far for me, but well worth the trip if you are in the area. It all melted in my mouth. I had the mushroom, feta salad and the Rissoto/mushroom - mama mia! And for dessert I had Tira Mi Su, which I am probably spelling incorrectly but it's my blog. This was a bridal shower I was invited to and I have been informed to wait til I taste the food at the wedding (at a different location in Aurora). I have to admit I did eat too much and could have taken half home easily but my taste buds said no way hosay - Eat now! All of it. I am still weighted down. We are having a mini heat wave in Toronto. I put on the air conditioner for Mr Attitude since yesterday. The fireworks scared him, it being Victoria Day in Toronto. Of course there were people throwing fireworks at cars and pedestrians downtown. Too bad. I used to really like seeing the fireworks before it became so crowded. Of course the news bashed the police for not doing anything but when they do, they get bashed for doing something. - Can't win. We need professional reporting but corporations are taking over!!!!!! I had a wonderful time at the shower talking to an old neighbour from where I grew up in Toronto. She will be 103 years old in August. She is such a kind soul and still able to take care of herself. She made a comment to me about how things have changed so much. You think? I am glad I am not the only one concerned about changes to my beautiful town. I did have a great weekend which was altered quickly when a good friend of mine came to visit me to tell me she has cancer. You know that feeling when you get bad news and want to cry but don't because it is not about you? I am offering a perpetual mass for her and place my prayers with God to help her through this ordeal. I will ask you to say a prayer for her too if you don't mind. On the light side I watched and agreed with America's choice for the winner of Idol. I shall miss Katy Perry. I am hoping she returns. As for the Voice, I am crossing my fingers for Asher HaVon. His voice is amazing. The arts is so important. We need it. As for Books, I have been reading Stuart Woods, the Stone Barringon series. The first book I read had a bit of sex in it, but the rest is a bit more explicit. I don't use sex in my books. I did look him up on utube and he was a funny guy. Unfortunately he died recently. As for my books, I will be the waterfront with the Crime Writers of Canada 8 Jun 24. I do hope you come and visit me. You may also find my books on my web site. Just type out my name. https://silvaredigonda.ca Talk soon.