My thoughts on Prince Harry’s SPARE

I have to admit I was tired of hearing all about the Royals which was becoming big news. I remember Madonna telling the Royals to go to the States because Canada is boring. Whose boring? I guess she should know coming from Detroit before it became nice. I think that is where she is from. There was also news about Canadians complaining about not providing security for Prince Harry. And before all that it was the constant news about how Megan was being treated by the Press. I couldn’t believe how they could get away talking like that - so unprofessional. Racism seems to be a big problem over there and it somewhat saddened me because I have an acquaintance who loves England and goes there frequently. She brought me back a chocolate bar from England in one of her trips and I thought that was so nice. She is Black and I am honoured to know her. I could not help but wonder how the media in England affects other non whites who have to listen to that nonsense. I did watch Prince Harry and Megan when they were being interviewed by Oprah and I was a bit confused about what this was all about. I didn’t watch the Netflicks series because I don’t have Netflix. When Harry’s book came out, my first thought was - more drama. I didn’t think he would need the money so I ordered the book through my library and I got to read it, completing it yesterday. I got to read it in the much needed sun. I was trying to shut off my therapist hat and just enjoy the book. As a therapist I often recommend that clients write their own book especially when they have suffered sexual abuse or any other trauma. I also indicate that if they find themselves becoming overwhelmed to stop and bring their suffering into the therapy room so we can examine and process what is happening. Memories trigger. I also know as a devoted reader and writer that people react differently from what they read. They read from their perspective. I know from writing Hey Guy Buy Me, one man kept buying my books at a local bakery until I asked that they stop selling to him. I didn’t want to take advantage of his motivations. I have had men accost me with anger at Word on The Street because they expected to read non fiction. I wrote it for fun only, since I had worked with men for most of my life. Then there were other men who loved it and bought another book of mine. My own biography had people tell me they cried because of emotions it evoked and men who I worked with tell me that it brought back so many memories that they just had to tell me. I was careful how I wrote For Love of Country - Military Policewoman because I didn’t want to share anything except the social aspect of those times. Has it bit me once in a while, yup, but not from the men. So when I decided to read SPARE, I was curious. I have always been fond of Prince Harry, though I was disappointed when I read about his ventures. However, he joined the military, went to war and helped veterans and that meant a lot to me. It meant enough for me to order his book. SPARE is his story, his suffering, his agency to speak up and clarity of his life; his thoughts. I was discussing his book when the person I was speaking to said that the book would probably cost the loss of his family. I have been a family therapist for more than a decade and if I had my way everyone would bring their families into the therapy room whether it be for individual therapy or couple therapy. However, this is always the choice for those who come for help. What I can tell you is that the energy in the room, the tension, the suffering is very different as more become involved. The dynamics when the family is together or alone or as a couple - changes. Everyone thinks they are right and what I try to do is have everyone share their perspective while the other is listening which can be challenging depending on the issues and also on the amount of suffering and willingness to actually work on the issues. Sometimes I have “it’s my way or the highway”, sometimes “it is you and not me”. Sometimes it is “I don’t know what the big deal is so why can’t you change?” Maybe not a big deal for you, but not for the others. How do we work this out? I have seen so much love in the most dysfunctional families. When I see love - I see the hope and willingness they have to work things out. I read this book wearing different hats. I studied England in history. I had to memorize all the Royals and I enjoyed the topic very much. My life interactions with the British was touchy at times as I found many especially in the military - arrogant. I never liked that attitude - I am better than you. However, because I met many wonderful elderly women in my travels, I realized that there were wonderful Brits as well. Isn’t that the way it works? We judge others by our relationships with them which may skew our ideas and therefore our biases. I was very interested reading this book because I thought it would have been great if we could have had an inside look when we studied the history of England. - The then and now. What I did see when I read this book is Harry telling his story - his truth. What I saw was a young man who lost his mother too soon and that love was never replenished until he married. He wanted to marry. He wanted love. Harry is an affectionate man and needs that. I would recommend reading this book. I think it is interesting and loving at the same time. What bothered me most is that the Press showed a monkey between Megan and Harry after the birth of their child. How does anyone get away with that? I have no respect for the English Press that think it is ok to do that. I also have no respect for anyone who permits that to continue. You cannot be silenced when you write your story. Thank you Prince Harry. You are your mother and that is a great compliment. I am so sorry that you had to suffer so. Countries are separating from the Commonwealth. In Canada ( a quick web search) we provided $58, 749, 485.52 in 2019-2020 to England. In my own story within the military I swore allegiance to the Queen. What I forgot until I cut and pasted my own story for you is that I also swore allegiance to her heirs. My word is good, but do I think the same now? Is the Royalty history? Should it become history? If there was a referendum in Canada would we continue supporting this venue? The person I had discussed this book with said she detested the idea of the image of the King being printed on our money. I had never heard of a complaint about the Queen. She was always there on our bills. She was loved. Diana was loved but for the rest is there love? Perhaps - but for the rest of the world? Is it time to keep our money and cut the Figure head? What do you think?

Thoughts of the week - Who to vote for Mayor of Toronto - Perruzza?

Ever since Tory stepped down from being Mayor due to the press about to release that he had been having an affair with a staff member, I have been wondering who to vote for. I did vote for Tory and what I liked is that he realized that home owners in Toronto are not the personal banks of Councillors. Tory was everywhere and it is evident that he loved his job. I was eating lunch at Harvie's one day (they make great veggie burgers and onion rings) and had my back against two men, one who was talking about Tory to the other. He said that they couldn't have cared less about his affair, they just wanted him out. It is interesting how people forget where they are and that the walls have ears. During this election I am preparing myself on who to vote for. Each week one person I think I am going to vote for says something that makes me think - nope. I am taking this very seriously. People like to bash Toronto, but claim they live here when they don't. They are confusing the GTA, which actually means the greater Toronto area as being a resident of Toronto. Look at it this way. Confused where you live? Can you vote here? No? Do you pay taxes here? No....Guess what Pontiac. You live perhaps in Timbucktoo, but it ain't here. So, my dilemma. Who do I vote for? If you want to raise my taxes, it is a big NO. If you want to sue someone before you are even elected, it is a little no; and the beat goes on....on.......Why did I notice Perruzza? It took awhile. The first time I heard him that made sense to me is him complaining about hotels in Toronto being utilized as hotels for the homeless. I almost fainted when I heard how much that was costing for each individual. He provided an alternative much cheaper housing option. It reminded me of the Mayor in Niagara Falls complaining about using hotels for housing. I am watching the politics in Niagara because that is my idea of a good move from Toronto, which I planned on doing since I was a youngster. Mr Attitude (is holding me back) whom I live with is 100 years old in human years so though he doesn't look like he is going anywhere soon, I do check once in a while that he is breathing when he is resting. My boy is 21 years old. He is my tiny holiday each day. Now back to politics of my city. When the Mayor stepped down, everyone came out in droves. They reminded me of mice (I don't want to say rats, because that is too harsh) scurrying out from hiding. They now believed they had a chance to run our city. Our city has made some amazing decisions. Yup, no feeding birds, yup...no feeding any other creature, yup.....they tried to keep fluffy indoors, but thankfully Tory said that fluffy could go outside. They closed my park to cars which meant they closed my park to me. And that is what made me look at Perruzza seriously this morning. He said he wanted to open High Park to everyone. That is what my city used to be - for everyone. I haven't been to my park since. It all started with cyclists not wanting to stop for stop signs. They complained about being stopped by the Police. Ok, I haven't cycled in awhile. But I used to cycle everywhere when I worked shifts. If I had my way there would be paths all over the city for cyclists. However, they need to obey the rules of the road, like everyone else. So, one hopeful states he will close bike lanes and therefore, he's out in my books. We have some real serious issues in Toronto right now. It doesn't take a genius to run this city. It takes $200.00, I think it takes 25 signatures from residents and yes you have to be a resident of Toronto (which means it helps if you know where you actually live. That is one way to figure it out). That is all you require to run for Mayor, it appears. We have some serious crime here that needs attention. The TTC? Well I haven't been on a bus or subway since the pandemic. I certainly have no intention of using the services while people are randomly getting attacked and killed. So, I am concerned about small businesses. I am concerned that Corporations don't want to pay their employees but spend fortunes to people who figure out how to hurt the little guy/gal even more. We have a need for rent control and to ensure that people have heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. We need to get rid of the slum landlords that seemed to have moved here. We need to get people out of food banks when they have two or three jobs. We need to do a lot of work and it won't be done while we are wondering about how to stop the people of Toronto going to their favourite park, stop the elderly from feeding their birds (or the young) and stop all the rest of stuff which is normal elsewhere and get down to seriously think how to manage the money we do have and not to spend as if there is unlimited funding from the general tax payer. Now, what I really found interesting is that Niagara Falls had a dog named Pal being Mayor for a weekend. Perhaps, just perhaps Pal can apply. Oh, he is not a resident? Now that is too bad! He would certainly get my signature and hey.....I would pay for his 200.00 entry fee. That is much cheaper than what my taxes will be! What do you think? Hey Pal, I almost forgot the best one ever. The City put up signs at a dog park telling dogs not to bark. Of course they had so many complaints that someone saw the light and took down the signs. Pal, I'm serious. Why do you think I am asking for your help?

Youth Mental Health Addiction Treatment Practices - For info only. I do not endorse any specific companies.

Youth Mental Health & Addiction Treatment Practices from EHN Canada on Vimeo.

Forensic Psychology Webinar - Katherine Ramsland - notes - conclusion

Linkage Analysis: MO and signatures Criminal Profiling Jun 14-27. Maybe also psychological autopsy. When death scene is ambiguous, potential for staging (undermined) when not known. Graphic photos. Man stabbed 83 times. It was concluded as homicide. It was actually stab wound, hesitation wounds. He also drank drain cleaner. Another photo - stabbed three times. Ambiguous - this is suicide. Missed so many aspects of this case. Very unlikely a suicide. Bathtub - Erotic accident. Found sexual magazines. Anyone doing this investigation of Suicidology has to know the data if investigating. Staging - revising a scene to deflect investigators toward a different scenario. Indicators 911 calls. (Look between teeth and not in calling in). Gliniewicz -had been searching for three suspects because no one believed he committed suicide to make it look like a homicide. Legacy of him being a great guy. Tunnel vision here very much in place. CSI effect: One Police Officer had watched a CSI episode where a guy wanted suicide. His wife was ill. Used balloons found away with gun. Investigators believe if there is a suicide note, it is but that’s not true. They did a suicide check list - not tested. A whole other study. Fantasy of torturing. Coercive Paraphlic addictions (needs to harm or kill someone). Picture of head on chest. The Psychopathic brain ( is different). Studies demonstrate that unintentionally when some psychiatrists are hired by one of the attorneys they show biases for their case. (Snakes and Suits - book) How many psychopaths are highly manipulative and charming. Serial killer from Japan and after that couldn’t eat chicken salad but did this for 25 years and not affected. Mind of a Murderer - There are going to be different clinical opinions. Police had wrong idea about a murderer who killed two people and on suicide note said PS. So this person got to kill another person. It is impossible to answer is it nature or nurture. There is a collection of behaviours - deception detection. Dr Ramsland was watching a five hour interrogation. For the first few hours the suspect barely moved and hands were clasped. Afterwards, raw gestures, touching face. Now we have a collection of behaviours that he may be lying. But don’t know for sure. Three cases of this. He had raped and killed. Doesn’t feel unsafe but probably should. Hard to stop are Psychopaths, sex offenders (addiction), need to survive on the street. The younger the better. There is protocol - ethics - to a certain point if worked for one side or the other. Sometimes an attorney hires you and you don’t do anything so you don’t go to the other. Concluded. Any errors here I take responsibility for. I was very impressed by this professor and it is the States gain, and our loss. I would have loved to have studied her courses. Too bad, so sad.

For Love of Country Military Police Woman (for your signed copy order from me directly at www.silvaredigonda.ca) I accept invitations for readings, book stores etc...

I awoke at five to Rebecca’s knocking at the door. We spent some time reminiscing and talking about our future aspirations. Sally came to the house at 6: 30. About 15 minutes later, we departed to take Rebecca home. Sally would be driving me to the Toronto Base. My mother stood by the doorway waving goodbye. She tried to hide her sadness, but the tears flowed. It made me very nervous. Sally drove me to the Toronto Base, leaving me at the Recreation Centre. Now I was completely alone. I walked up to the second floor, which had a snack bar with a huge serving counter where I ordered a coffee. There weren’t too many people there. I didn’t have long to wait before an old green bus with “Canadian Armed Forces” printed on it in white paint arrived to take me to Trenton. The ride was quiet, with only a few on the bus. On arriving at Trenton I met two women who had also just joined: Marie and Rose. They were going to the same place as me for basic training – Cornwallis. I spent the day walking the grounds and found a post card to mail home. As nightfall slowly approached, I walked to the military airport to await my flight. I looked around me and again noticed that there weren’t a lot of people waiting. An elderly couple was walking with a woman about my age to a bench a little ways from me. The young woman wore glasses, had mousy-coloured hair and was horribly dressed in shades of brown, but she glowed with happiness. Another new recruit, I presumed. I heard her address the elderly couple as her aunt and uncle. Her parents must be dead, I thought. At 8: 55 PM, 11 October 74, I found myself on a military plane flying to Ottawa. Surprisingly, I was not afraid, though I had never been on a plane before. (I had once turned down a trip to Europe for fear of crashing.) “I’m a photographer,” the huge woman who sat beside me remarked. Her hair was cropped short and she appeared very masculine. Stories of how homosexual women were attracted to the military entered my mind. “I’m six feet tall,” she stated matter-of-factly “How tall are you?” “Five foot six,” I responded. Actually I was five foot five and three-quarters. One-quarter short of the required height. I had stood nude on the weight/height scale. As the doctor focused on my weight, I stood on my tiptoes in an attempt to obtain the minimum height. I believed I had fooled him at the time. “I would like to photograph you in the nude, some time,” she remarked. I thought I was going to die. So it was true what they said about military women! Her manner was as casual as if she had asked me to join her for tea. “I don’t think so,” I replied. “I don’t let just anyone see me in the nude.” I refrained from encouraging further conversation. It was about a half-hour flight. We had a brief stop at Ottawa before continuing to Nova Scotia. My thoughts dwelled on the future and all the prospects that were open to me. The rest of the trip to Cornwallis was pleasant. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. www.silvaredigonda.ca

MY DESCENT INTO HELL - Paper I submitted in Eschatology class regarding this book by Howard Storm

By Silva Redigonda Every once in a while one may read a book, that can touch her heart. My Descent into Death by Howard Storm does much more than that. It takes hold of your soul. Reading this book has been a challenge because it brought tears, laughter and soul searching. This book could not be read and set aside and yet this book could not be read in one sitting because it is too overwhelming, at least it was for this reader. To provide a formal paper for this book is to do it injustice because it is a call to each person to take notice that there is God and Jesus and angels and devils. To write formally regarding someone who wrote so much from his heart might take away from what I believe is the intent of this book so I will take a chance and just speak from my heart as well. I opened this book during reading week. I was feeling sick, battling some cold and had slept for about two days while trying to stay awake reading dry material. I was just starting to feel better and began reading Howard Storm (I did not read a book. I read a man). As I began I was grateful that after weeks of formal jargon, I could just sit and actually enjoy what I was reading. Tears began to run down my cheeks and I felt that I might still be sick. Why else would I be crying? I decided that I would lend this book out to everyone before the course even ends because I want to know their reaction. I finished reading Howard Storm and realized I had done so in four segments. I had only the Pilgrim left to read and after I did, I began to type. I did not read other material from my mountain of required reading during the breaks from Howard Storm because I wanted to remain totally absorbed with what I was experiencing. For over a year I have been reading everything I have been told to read but finding God or Jesus in it has been somewhat confusing. The Bible has become more of a historical text to me than inspiration. Listening to people outside of our school in other courses has made me question how some can call themselves ministers in their self righteousness. Reading Howard Storm I felt God and Jesus and the angels and the devils. I felt Howard’s pain but mostly I felt the pain of God. Not for a second did I doubt what Howard Storm was revealing. I believed all of it. Because I believed it, I suffered. Why do I believe Howard Storm? Because to me My Descent Into Hell makes sense. Howard Storm was a bono fide atheist who apparently had a dislike for any type of religion or spirituality. It must have been pretty bad, for him to experience hell. It is raw emotion that Storm is experiencing. He takes you on his journey. Being held by Jesus and beginning to understand our world, what an experience! It appears farfetched yet it is believable because of the man he was. Why would he make all this up? He was well positioned and respected in his field. He had no belief in God. He was even annoyed by it. What I find comforting is that God does intervene in the world (p 43). I sometimes feel that we are very helpless as individuals when it comes to changing the world. We seem to be under the control of a select group of people who make national decisions and those same groups are somewhat controlled by other sub groups. Even in free nations I must ask how free are we? With God intervening there is hope. Yet that intervention also causes fear because it may mean death for many. I also have comfort, knowing I have a guardian angel because I sense someone with me at times (pp52, 140, 141). Though I very much believe Howard Storm I do argue a few statements. By the quotation, “Parents can never stop loving their child no matter what”…(p62) I disagree. I think there are some very nasty people out there. People have beaten and killed their children with no remorse. If this is Storm speaking I can understand. This would not be Jesus speaking because he knows better. I also am surprised that Storm uses the analogy of doubting our parents as we may doubt God.(p 66). Parents can be seen. They are physically there. Howard did not believe God until he saw God so I do not understand his reasoning here. I think that faith is required to believe in God unless someone does experience something outside of our rationale as Storm did. There is so much to talk about this book and how it can effect. This book has helped me decide that I will not refuse pastoral care to anyone who will come to me for it. If I am too busy I would refer them to others but never because I find the person repulsive. As I read about Storm crying out to Jesus to save him (p 25) I crossed out my question to another professor for another class. I read salvation 8 times in one page of the Vatican 11 and thought it overkill. Suddenly it made sense. I understand now what the purpose was of our first assignment. This is hope. There is something after this life that is good. We just need to be reminded at times. Sometimes some of us just need a little help with our faith. Howard Storm has been that help for me.

Forensic Psychology continues (2)

Even though there doesn't appear to be much of an interest in this topic, I want to continue to provide my notes, not only because I love the topic, but because I think it is important. Please note that any errors would be mine and not that of Dr Ramsland. Forensic Psychology Webinar - Katherine Ramsland - notes Violent Mind - 1976 Assessment of Ted Bundy. Paranoid Schizophrenic can be violence. Are afraid; have delusions. Religious Disturbances - killed her five children; demonic possession idea. With Personality Disorders - Usually don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Psychotic people have been able to represent themselves. Assessing Psychopathy (Canadians created - FBI use it. 1. Conduct a comprehensive interview. 2. Review collateral info. Lack of remorse, guilt, or empathy. Shallow emotions, grandiose. PLC R Assessment - 20 items 0, 1, 2 (a different assessment) 30-40 score - psychopath. Psychologists will make recommendations on how dangerous. Jury, Corrections, Police Training, death investigations (her favourite. She teaches a course on that). Tunnel Vision, Confirmation bias, Diagnosis Momentum. All of these distort investigations. Not all police want this. If they do -Behavioural Analysis - Is there a crime? What type of crime? Suspects? Reconstruction; Predator. What was done? How? Evidence of planning/staging. Degree of organization. Evidence of motive………. Criminal Profile “is not a blue print.” List of traits and behaviours. Narrow down leads. Diminish potential pool of suspects. Developing a Profile: Start: Victimology; Evidence of Psychopathology; Signature analysis} Potential for future attacks. continues…..with Linkage Analysis