For Love Of Country - Military Policewoman continues......... www.silvaredigonda.ca

I arrived home at midnight. After a sixteen-hour shift, I was ready for bed. I had loved my job and was sorry to say goodbye. I slept most of Sunday, hoping to rid myself of the excruciating headache that had crept up. My uncle Lauren and his wife Sally visited, and I decided to spend the day with my family. Thoughts of the military dominated the day. “My greatest fear,” I thought, “is losing my femininity.” October 7th is my father’s birthday. I spent most of the day cleaning the house, a rare event. At supper, Dad anxiously unwrapped the presents we had given him. He appeared happy with the electric shaver I had purchased for the occasion. It was a routine small gathering with only the four of us: me, my mom, dad and sister. We indulged as usual by gorging ourselves on food and birthday cake. Later that evening, Chris, Sandy, and I went for a drive to Milton in Chris’s Chevy. I drove. Chris announced that he had decided to live with his girlfriend. I cringed. “Of all the girls in Toronto he has to find the worst,” I thought. “So, she wants to move in with him. Too bad I’m leaving. I would have arranged some blind dates for him and then…” ” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.”

Neurobiology and Treatment of Relationships, Sexual Abuse, PTSD (notes from an AAMFT conference)

Neurobiology and Treatment of Relationships I have shamelessly cut and pasted this man’s bio with the necessary changes. I did this because it is easier than writing everything out. Normally I keep the credentials short, but this man deserved to tell his own story. I attended his lecture as part of the AAMFT conference I attended in the fall. This man impressed me. He is also willing to provide free conferences for room, board, and travel expenses for him and his wife. I would seriously consider him. What a champ. Dr Harvey Joanning is a dual licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist, and currently acting as Co-Director of the Neurobiology of Relationships Research Study in the Department of Psychology at the University of South Alabama.  He first became interested in working with couples and families as a graduate student.  He later developed a keen interest in neuroscience as his first wife developed early onset dementia.  He has combined these two interests in an attempt to better understand and improve intimate human relationships. During his career he established and directed marriage and family therapy doctoral programs and family therapy training clinics at Texas Tech University and Iowa State University.  As part of those efforts, He has conducted numerous studies designed to improve relationship therapies.   He now teaches graduate courses and continuing education workshops focused on the neurobiology and treatment of intimate relationships, extending the human life span, and helping families to deal with Alzheimer’s disease.  He also volunteers for the Alzheimer’s Association, the American Tinnitus Association, and Veterans Administration. Ok, here our my notes. Dr Harvey Joanning has 50 years of research and couple therapy experience. His question was “Why do couples stay together when there is bickering?” You fall in love. Without dopamine you cannot fall in love. Affective psychotherapy. Baboons court like we do. The more dopamine - the more love. The Hippocampus - usually first affected in Alzheimer’s. If partner doesn’t remember - look for stress. 2nd session Linda M. Rio, MA states that religion is sometimes repressed from childhood. The hormone factor in mental health: Bridging the money - body Gap. is a recommended book. One person had all the symptoms of bi polar but it was the pituitary gland. What is common is social isolation. Endocrine disorders. Third session - Child abuse and neglect: A Comprehension Approach to Trauma Informed Care. Recommend book. The report of abuse is very under reported. One in seven experienced child abuse or neglect in the US. 1750 children died of abuse and neglect. Regarding sexual assault - one in four girls and 1 in 13 boys. Poverty - There is 5 times the higher rate of abuse and neglect. Latino and the Black community have higher rates. During COVID, Children have been isolated and at home. Families were trapped with perpetrators. Abuse was more severe when it came to the attention of the police or hospital. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Adverse Childhood Experiences. The highest ACE score - the worse health outcomes, diabetes, cancer, heart disease, obesity, depression, substance usage, smoking, poor academics/achievements and early death. You can check out utube: 95OV/J3DsNK, Nadine Burke Harris: ACE’S Study. Developmental Impact of Child Abuse Trauma: neurobiology; emotional psychological; self concept etc… Trauma changes the brain functions - smaller hippocampus (learning and memory). Smaller corpus callosum (integrating info); Over activity in the amygdala (fight and flight etc). PTSD - increased norepinephrine - fight and flight, anxiety, irritability, highly startled responsive. Increased dopamine, paranoia, perception distortions when under stress, social withdrawal, increased cortisol, short term memory deficit, decreased serotonin, increased endogenous/endorphins. Sexual Abuse - Disturbed body - feelings of dirtiness. Always showering or not at all; low self esteem, shame; guilt. A book of interest is : Healing The Social Brain Trauma Informed Care - How to avoid re-traumatizing? Collaboration with survivors and their families. I am here to support you. Children can display laziness, no motivation and disinterest. Check out Echotraining.org Remember how trust is broken. Build up and maintain. Peer support, collaboration and mutuality. Empowerment and choice. They are in control. We support and empower. Treatment one to six sessions in a safe place. Trustworthy and transparency. Book: The body keeps the store - Bessel van der Kolk. PTSD for adults of trauma HTTPS://HPELCPRTG TF - CBT on line course. Grounding is better, if mindfulness triggers. Grounding - eyes stay open - external world. Scan of environment and state all that is seen. Trauma informed yoga, dance, and drama - way of reconnecting. I gave you mainly tidbits because there is so much which I can get from slides. I am always available to answer questions. I want to catch up with the conferences/workshops from 2022 since I have already booked sessions for this year.

Mayor John Tory does not disappoint. My voting wish accomplished.

During lunch break I watched our Mayor speak on the news and was pleased. He said that the people of Toronto do not want their taxes to increase and he will keep it below inflation. Next, he said that he has raised the funding for the police. Yes!!!!!!!! He will not, as some groups request defund the police. I blame the reporters of giving those groups a voice making them sound bigger than they are. We need responsible reporting. Those days where you got a rise out of people to fuel two opposing groups should be over. We have had five police Officers killed in Ontario in what - a month? I grew up in Toronto when it was Toronto the good. I saw police everywhere and they were not to be feared. That is of course if you had nothing to hide. I remember the killing of a policeman when I was very young and our entire city mourned. We had our problem areas and knew to stay clear from them. This has changed throughout the decades and I sat and watched my beautiful city grow but also saw crime rise which needed to be addressed and wasn't. I know that there is a criminal element always causing fear of police so that the victims they prey upon do not report crimes. If they can make the police look worse than themselves they have the opportunity to reign. I would like to think those days are coming to an end. I want to see more police in my neighbourhood so that the riff raff find another city to torment. I want my beloved city back. So, those are my two cents worth today. The police are always welcomed here for a coffee and should I say donut? Have a good safe day. Tomorrow is the funeral for a young policeman in Barrie who had just finished his probation on the day he was killed by a man and woman known to the police. He had been on bail what twice for guns and violence? He had skipped out on his bail and so when this OPP Officer on his first time alone went to help him to get out of a ditch, he was shot to death. This young man had his entire future ahead of him, he was an asset to his community and he would have been able to give so much. We do need changes. To any police person out there, thank you so much for protecting me to the best of your ability. Coffee is on me anytime!

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

“She’s a real pain!” complained Carl. “I don’t care who she thinks she is. If she doesn’t stop bossing me around, I’m quitting.” Carl was shaken. “Relax, Carl and tell me what happened.” I said sympathetically. Carl was a good worker. He had also saved my life once by pulling me away from an oncoming farm tractor. The driver had failed to see me trip into its path. We had been working at the Exhibition during a fair. “That woman is some army-type supervisor, and she is ordering me around like I’m one of her little soldiers and I won’t stand for it.” “I’ll take care of it Carl. Take a break. I’ll join you later for a cigarette. I’ll buy the coffee.” I grinned at him, but he was still too furious to respond. I approached the non-descript, rather masculine woman who had the ability to upset Carl so much. “Hi, is there a problem here,” I asked? “No there isn’t a problem,” she replied arrogantly. “I happen to be a supervisor in the army and security here could be improved. I was telling Carl…” She avoided looking at me. “You are not in the position to tell Carl anything,” I began. “What you do in the army does not impress me or anyone else here. You will not dictate to anyone further. You will remain in your position and guard your area.” Not once did she look at me as I spoke. My serious tone meant business and she refrained from further demonstration of self importance. I left. The remainder of the evening was wonderful. I loved the excitement of the fair. I spoke to an OPP officer in the arena and told him of my future occupation. He was about my father’s age. “The worse part is the children,” he said. “You never get used to it. I’ve been to so many vehicle accidents…” His memories were too painful for words. Walking alone, away from the bright lights and people, I approached a young man about my own age who was also working at the fair. He lived outside Markham. There is something appealing about men from the countryside. He talked about the earth and being in tune with nature. He spoke of values, traditions and of being at peace with oneself. He was so unlike the men I knew. He did not care for dance clubs, fashions or city life. Here he was, all alone and comfortable. The mystery of it dazzled me. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

The Year is Coming to an end - Time to reflect, celebrate for a new Year!!!!!

I was watching the news and did not have to hear the stats at how Canadians feel about the state of the world. We have China believing they are superior, we have North Korea confusing fireworks with missiles and of course the supreme - Puta - I mean Putin who believes that Peace is Ukraine surrendering their land and people, while it bombards it consistently responsible for the loss of so many lives of children, the elderly, mothers etc....How proud Puta should be. I mean Putin. I have never noticed such extremes of leaders. Ukraine has not only gained my respect but I also have a little flag they gave me at one of their festivals which I have on display on my porch. I feel so sorry for the Russian people who have such a coward for a leader who just causes so much suffering and for what? Greed. However, we don't need to tolerate all this for long. There will be change. There must be change. I was thinking of how much havoc men of simple minds have created. I am not even going to talk about the Taliban. I think all the women there should escape and have those creatures, not worthy to be called men dissipate. This is my hope for the new year. That people realize how much power the general public has and to not only be aware but decide how to use it. We have choices and sometimes people can become so sad and accustomed to a feeling of hopelessness that they just surrender to their circumstances. However, only a spark is required to light up and see through the darkness. The holidays can be a difficult time as people suffer the loss of families they no longer have, tolerate the families they do and struggle living in a questionable economic time. How would you sum the end of the year and what do you have to look forward to the future? Look at us!!!!!!!! Look at the Ukraine people how they fight galantly for their right of country. What amazing leadership. Look at those who have much help those who do not. Look at the average person at home who makes such a difference in what may seem trivial by just a smile who may change the perspective of another. I think we have more good, than bad. It just seems that bad has power to overshadow good, but it does not. It is fleeting. I see the positivity of people all the time. I see how people who are suffering can take that step they need to rise out of their pit. I see the good in people. My hope for 2023 is that we unite more as a world, we help each other more, we take global warming seriously, we take archaic wars and make it obsolute by removing small men from powerful positions and throwing them where they belong - in a jail cell. I want for myself to continue helping people to heal, to take my writing more seriously in finding a traditional publisher and to recognize the scams. I want to enjoy my pet for as long as possible as he achieves 20 years of life. I hope for another summer with him while he continues to enjoy life. I see travel in my future and more times with family and friends. I wish you all a Happy New Year. If you are celebrating tonight - be safe. Happy New Year and blessings for the future. God speed.

Harry Potter - on Christmas Eve?

Ok, I did it on Christmas Eve. I picked the last show just because there are so many people seeing Harry Potter and of course I didn't want to get sick. I did prior to Christmas and that really set me back. It was some strain of the flu which I already shared with you. As you know I love the theatre. However, though I found the play amazing with the acting and visual effects (probably the best I have seen to date) and that I got a Christmas bulb as a souvenir was wonderful, it was a tad dark for Christmas. I would say it is more appropriate for Hallowe'en. Oh well, but great just the same. That I had front row seats is a bonus. The play has been extended for six more months. It was packed. Of course there was a snow storm as well to contend with but when you live in the city it is easy to call "taxi." I normally love to see the Christmas show at Niagara and though I could get free tickets this year, it was not meant to be. Chuck it all in for experience - Christmas, stick to Christmas stuff. It is not over yet. There is still New Years Eve. I wish you all a wonderful time. The Christmas season can be difficult. Try to find time for yourself to wrap up the year and to look forward to making some changes for the New Year if you like. Small steps are always easier than big strides. Have some inner reflections. Check in with your soul. Take care of yourselves during this time. What do you think?

Condolences to the families in Buffalo

I had turned on the tv to watch the Disney Christmas show and what I saw instead for the first portion was the devastation in Buffalo due to the blizzard which is not all that far from Toronto. People were asked to stay home and there were 10 deaths. 34 people were killed in the States and I want to extend my sympathies to all.