Update on the "Internet Murders" for you hopeful writers out there.

Well yesterday I sent my draft to my publisher who I have been with since I began writing. I write for fun and my priority is my private practice and I promised my sole fan that I would have my book out by this years "Word on the Street." So I decided at the spur of the moment while my grey cells were processing all the information I had been gathering, to reach out and self publish. I did send my manuscript out to several traditional publishers however the waiting period to hear something can be four months. Imagine writing to one publisher at a time and waiting forever to get a response. I can die of old age by then. You see some want to be the first and only publisher you seek out. Others want you to have a particular genre. Others want you to be from where they are and others etc..........I even thought of getting an agent and that was interesting. I did not know there were so many scams when it comes to the writing world. So, I gave that up quickly. Simply put, my love for writing stories has been intrinsic since I can remember, writing them in the kitchen and reading them out to my mother who loved to hear them. Of course my grade seven teacher declared to the class that I could not have possibly have written my story. I blurted out in class that he could ask my mother, if he didn't believe me. It is no wonder that I am allergic to teachers. So, I took the easy but more expensive pathway to self publishing. I now have to figure out in my spare time how to get them distributed to bookstores. I figure if I write enough books maybe someone will notice who is legitimate. I wonder why I have a suspicious mind when it comes to scammers? So many out there perhaps? So, if you want to write, write for the love of it because it can be time consuming on the business side of the house. What do you think?

Grief seminar

Grief Last week I attended Dr Darcy Harris’ lecture at Kane Funeral Home. I didn’t realize until I actually saw her that I had attended a seminar by her before which I recorded on a blog for you. At the time it was held at Sunnybrook Hospital. Dr Harris asked the group some questions which she didn’t get any answers to because she was sparing the introverts in the room. This was open to everyone including the public. Questions to ponder were: 1. What is most important to do and what is your guiding principal? She reported that the average life expectancy in Canada now is 80 for men and 84 for women. We women still live longer. Other tid bits she shared: approximately 42% if marriages in Canada end in divorce. The lower rate from previous stats is seen as a reflection of couples choosing not to marry versus choosing to stay married. In 2011, 747,000 Canadians were living with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. That’s 14% of Canadians 65 and older. One in 5 Canadians aged 45 and older provides some sort of care to a senior family living (with long term care requirement). She asked us if given the choice (raising hands this time) would we prefer organ failure, human frailty or terminal disease as we got older. I picked human frailty which is what the majority of us will have due to modern medicine. What was once considered terminal are now chronic conditions. As a result, the nature of care and experience of grief have changed. Families are often involved in the care of loved ones who experience a prolonged process of deterioration - a process that is often marked by extended and ongoing needs for care, accommodation and difficult decision making. Dr Harris provided some questions which I will probably ask if I ever teach. Again we did not answer any but these are questions you may want to ask yourself as you read this blog or save for another time. Exercise 1. (This is important because this determines your grief) Do you believe that most people are good and trustworthy? What guides your expectations of others? 2. What does “justice” mean to you? Do you have a “guiding” principle for life? What are your “core values”? 3. How do you tend to think of yourself? What roles define you? There was a major point which I often hear is to support and not fix. The loss of our assumptive world is what triggers the grief response. Dr Harris reported the 10 - 12 % of grief is complicated grief. ( I have written about complicated grief before). Dr Harris reported that some are not able to relate to God as they previously knew God. Cannot relate to others who feel the same as before. How can God let this happen to me? Dr Harris spoke of emotional intelligence. What is your feeling? What is it? How do you deal with it? Journaling? Underneath the emotions there is a reason. Dr Harris spoke of Disenfranchised Grief such as having an affair and the person who was married dying. Suffering the loss of a pet. Often one does not get the support needed. Social messages prevent them from getting the help they need. Sitting with someone and being present is a real gift - the gift of presence. I have certainly recommended that for people who have come to me for a consultation regarding helping friends suffering from various diseases, grief etc…… Dr Harris has written a book Counting Our Losses: Reflecting on Change, Loss and transition in Everday Life. Another book is Disenfranchised Grief. New Directions, Challenges and Strategies for practice by Kenneth J. Dora/Editor. I have written much about grief and if there are any questions please to not hesitate to ask. The information above was related by Dr Darcy Harris in the seminar and provided as well from her slides. I hope you find the information useful. I told Dr Harris that I wrote in my blog about her previous lecture. Have a nice week. I have read an article about an amazing physician working in a Bronx hospital. I will be sharing this with you probably next week as part of the Pastoral notes. It has to do in reference to assistance dying which I have much concern about, although I would never refuse to be with anyone requesting my presence. What are your thoughts? What do you think?

Update - pending workshops etc......The Internet Murders

I am pondering regarding trying to find an agent, traditional publisher or self publish again. I would say that in its self, can be a full time job which is why I always self-publish with a publisher I trust. I normally try one or two regular publishers and then submit to what I am comfortable with. I should probably try to find something before I complete my work. Also, some want you to wait for six months for a reply. Really? That can take me a life time. Others want to be the first you have submitted your work to. Than there are those who are rather rude. When I submitted my second finished work to a publisher in Toronto I got "I'll pass" as an answer. Of course I keep all the info and never send the rude ones another manuscript. However, I do not give up and I suggest for those of you with a passion do not either. This week I have attended a FSNA meeting and I encourage all Federal retirees to join their respective branches. I am the Assistant Benefit Health officer in Toronto. Though I do not believe in volunteering, I sure do a lot of it. This is one of my projects since it was time to give back. This week I will also be attending another Grief seminar. I have written about grief before and will be giving you an update next week. I live in an amazing city where all the education, seminars etc....are here in abundance so it makes it harder to leave. Last year at the same Grief seminar there was a woman attending from South America. I find it amazing that one attends a seminar for a morning from another country and that is because for me it is a simple drive. Next week I will also be attending a five week (2 hour weekly) work shop regarding aging and memory. It has been over ten years since I took such a course as part of my undergrad degree so I am curious to see if there are any changes or updates. This course is open to everyone regardless of education and it brings me back to my undergrad university. It is always nice to see people I know there. I am also taking a weekly crafts workshop at a community centre that I love. Balance is important in life. I have a rewarding career where I help people and self care is very important. So, I hope you consider finding a hobby you enjoy, learning something new, and spend time with people. Isolation is not healthy. If you are unhappy in your work, perhaps it is time to look for something new,if you can. What do you think? Silva

Finished the "Internet Murders"

I would like you to know that I have now completed my book. It is about 172 pages now. I have re-edited it a total of four times. I do hope to have it published before September. Wish me luck. Feel free to order my books on line at www.silvaredigonda.com. I am always eager to hear what people think of my books. Some love my humour and others really do not. Remember that nothing I have written has anything to do with my practice. I write for fun. I do believe I improve with each book. You be the judge. I can now continue to alternate from psychology to theology. Thank you for your patience and sorry for the delay.

Sacred Relics Of The Saints: Treasures of The Church

I attended a teaching and exposition of Sacred Relics provided by Father Carlos Martins of the Companions of the Cross. I learned that there are three classes of relics which I was unaware of and I do hope he used the word class since I was not taking notes. The first is the flesh and/or bones of the Saint. The second is a piece of clothing which belonged to the Saint and the third is something that has touched the first or second. He talked about the incorruptibles and depicted a photo of a nun who died in the late 1800 hundreds. Her body has remained intact as she was when she died. Father Carlos stated that the church had hired a French scientist who was an atheist to examine the body. The scientist reported the smell of roses when he cut an opening to her body. There was no decay. When he examined an organ, fresh blood poured out. His results were inconclusive. There was no explanation how this was possible. It is interesting that after this he became a Catholic. Father Carlos spoke of miracles occurring after his events of the people touching the relics. He is recording the miracles and I do hope he writes a book and that there is a research study for these amazing events. He spoke of one man rising from his wheelchair and being able to walk again. He spoke of a child who was cured of cancer. I began to think and wonder is this hysteria? Is this a placebo effect? I always question. There were 204 relics, 184 which has been authenticated. The oldest relic 2000 years old. After the lecture I walked to the front of the church to touch the relic of Christ’s cross. I also touched the relic of Mary’s dress. I descended into the basement and there on tables were the many relics. I touched each one. There were relics of saints I did not know and then there were relics of famous saints. I do think that this is a must for every Catholic to see. I also think that this is good for everyone to attend, skeptic or not. There is so much we do not know or understand. I like to keep an open mind, yet question. I do know that attending this function had me overwhelmed. For more information check out www.TreasuresOfTheChurch.com. Father Carlos travels throughout Canada and the USA. I believe he travels world wide. He also depends on donations for his work and I will certainly donate.

Happy Easter

Give me a reason to celebrate and I am there. However, Christmas and Easter have always held a special meaning to me. It is the time of the year that I take a break to relax, reflect and spend time with those who matter to me. It is also a time to reach out to those who may have no one in their lives. I like to give out chocolate and cards to people to just let them know that they are valued. I wish you all a wonder Easter. Next week I have to continue editing my book, do some research, read and work. I am pleased that I don't really consider my work, work. I wish you all peace in your lives. I hope you get to spend Easter with those who care about you and value you. What do you think?

Rough week for the world

It has been a tough week for the world. The horrific attack on helpless civilians especially children and babies in Syria is incomprehensible. Yet, that prompted Trump to destroy the airfield where the substance was sent from. Having dictators that abuse and cause such harm should be abolished in this era. It is no surprise to me that there are countries that stand by this dictatorship as they have much in common. My prayers are to all who have suffered and in Sweden too. I try to refrain from politics, but I am also aware of the devastating long term emotional turmoil this has on the survivors. In a country where so many have fled from their countries to live in a democratic county, carry the wounds of where they are from. Some manage to find solace and move on but many continue to suffer as they watch their country of origin continue to abuse and destroy. I always encourage to find a support system to share your stories and if you need more get it. There are charitable organizations who offer support and counselling if you cannot afford it. In a world where there is so much suffering because of extremists, greed and hatred, I know that we also have a beautiful world. I urge people who suffer to rediscover the beauty of nature and to surround yourself with positive and caring people. Hope is very powerful. I have often heard people ask me why? Why does this happen? Where is God? I too puzzled with this question in school once and the response was an obvious one to me. "We have free will." We have the free will to cause harm to be beneficial. We have the free will to love or to hate. We have the free will to be better. We also have the free will to ignore what happens in the world or we have the free will to do something about it. On a lighter note and back to my own reality, I have to re-read my third book one more time. That will be four times. Though my book is fiction, I learned something from someone that I used in my book. This was retracted so I must now re-read everything to amend what was written. However, a friend at dinner made a positive comment. Since I had left the book aside thinking it was completed, I could begin fresh. He is correct. So this will be the final editing. I have read two interesting articles, one about dreams and another about suicide which I will be sharing with you in future blogs. Next week I am hoping to provide information pertaining to veterans. Thank you for reading my blogs. Excuse the delay about my school notes, but be assured I will continue to write. What do you think about what is going on in the world? Does this sadden you? Have you been affected by violence of any kind? Have you been a support to someone who has been violated. What have you suffered? Have you found a way to cope and to enjoy life? Why not? What has worked for you? Find your own nook where you can find peace. What do you think?