Update, book 2/book 3/ and College of Psychotherapy

It is raining out and damp. It is cold. I have one pet laying by me, with her tongue sticking out. I see her fangs. Her face looks like that of a bat. She is happy. I have made her a character in my third book. Her name is Holy Terror. This is not her real name. I have changed her name to protect the innocent. She will be the only real character in the book. All others are purely my imagination. I am on page 60 and have decided to slow down a bit. I want to write about 200 pages this time with a cap at 250. I was reading an article about an author yesterday and she talked about how she writes and said that she is never asked to teach because she has no rules. I realized that I write the same way. I did take one creative writing course in undergrad and loved it. However, my major was psychology as you well know. With this book that I am writing now I just realized after page 50, who my killer will be. I also decided how I would either kill the killer or capture him or her. I have also decided why my killer kills. I realize by writing this book, that I make notes on a pad for the different characters, their characteristics, a few clues here and there and a few questions for later in the book. I develop my characters as much or as little as I like. I am giving birth to a community that does not exist. I am providing characters with a face and physic and personalities that I enjoy creating. What I would like to have, I realized yesterday is a big black board so I could chart everyone with clues and connections etc......This would be easier than using different pages for different characters etc....I am enjoying this game of murder. So enough about my third book in the making. My second book has not arrived yet and a relative emailed me yesterday saying that I should be very excited. I replied that I would be more excited when my web is up so I can sell my books and when I receive my letter from the college of Psychotherapy all within the two or three weeks. Needless to say I am rushing to the door each time I hear the mail come from my faithful postman. My second book is a surprise. It took me a long time to write and it was spaced out a lot. I had to think hard and I am hoping to have a positive reaction from it. I have learned from writing my first book, that people respond quite differently. It is the same book, but each who read it had a different opinion. Some gave my book to men who they thought needed it to help them with women. I never wrote the book to be taken seriously or as a therapeutic book. I wrote it for fun. Some men I am told hated it and me with it. They thought I was telling men what to do. Other men approached me to tell me they read my book and found it amusing and entertaining. A few told me that the book had really helped them. I wrote one little book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" and I had so many different responses. That is life! There are all kinds of people out there and they come from different places and what they read or see or interchange is a reflection of who they are. I am included. What I write comes from a place within me. If I had a different life, I would have written different books. Keeping that in mind each book I have written and am writing is different from each other. I have not written any books on therapy. I do not know if I will. Never say never. I may change my mind. I am looking at Holy Terror right now and she is covering her eyes with her hairy arm. She is so cute and I feel like just kissing her, but I know that will annoy her. Animals are cute, are they not? It is not too difficult to write about someone who is always in your face. I am looking forward for my books to arrive and as a result have not committed myself to much this month. Next month I will be attending two seminars so far. One will be a day seminar about complicated grief which I have mentioned earlier and another will be about gender transitioning. Both will benefit my practise. I received another email today about stopping or fighting the College of Psychotherapy. I even replied once that I am pro the college. The public requires protection. It is as simple as that. I understand the fears that people who have been practising without qualifications have. I have heard of people with only an undergraduate degree in psychology practising as a psychologist. I have heard of people with no training whatsoever practising simply what they have learned from their own therapy. There are people practising out there with zero qualifications. They should be scared and they will not be able to make the big bucks they make anymore once the College is in effect. Am I concerned that I will not get a letter of acceptance? No. I am anxiously waiting for it, because I think it is long overdue. So, for now, I encourage you to have a nice day. Life is very short and you realize that when you work with people who are dying or very sick. If you had two years left to live, what would you do that is different than what you are doing now? If your partner was sick and dying what would you do for him or her that is different than how you are now with your partner. Why not take a bit of time to think about where you are in life, what your goals are, your interests. Ask yourself what makes you happy or sad and then take a little step towards moving ahead. What do you think?

How was your Easter?

I notice there were 20 posts read by my half side, Switzerland. I think it is the most beautiful country that I have ever seen myself and am not surprised that my mom never got over missing her beloved country. I spent hours with her looking at utube moutains of Switzerland and yodeling. Norway is second for me. I will be disclosing that in my second book which has not arrived yet but soon. I love my country and it is pretty in some places but living in a city, you have to know where nature lays. That is why I make sure I am always close to nature. I always enjoy celebrating and this Easter was no exception with those closest to me. I did not venture out too far this year and most have come to me or are still coming. That is what happens when your car is elderly. I have loads of chocolate and baked goods and other good stuff to eat. Baked stuff of course was brought to me. After all this indulgence I do have to get back into some semblance of shape. I have never in my life spent so much seating. I have not figured out how to type and run at the same time. Actually, I do not run anymore. I can do more walking but my pets do not like it and they like being glued to me at my desk when I write, especially my female. So, it is not my fault that I am not in the best of shape. I am surrounded by pastry shops. The healthiest snack is a grilled cheese( the Portugese way which is a thick bun with lots of melted cheese within). That is what I was telling some acquaintances last week while I was indulging in the only healthy thing in the pastry shop - no lettuce - no tomatoes etc..... So, it is not my fault.......that I have developed a sweet tooth. It is the fault of everyone that brings me delicious stuff (and I cannot be rude). I am a victim of my neighbourhood. So, I am still celebrating Easter and am expecting more company today and just maybe I can share all those goodies with others and be free of celebrations for some time. Then my male pet and I can start dancing again (he likes to dance with me). I have filled the fridge with fruits and vegetables - now I can go back to healthy living. Right!!!!! Thank you for reading my blogs. Feel free to share your thoughts. I do not bite. Well, maybe..............Now I will write a little for book three. I have 50 pages so far and if you do not like my second, you will my third because this one is not true. I make it up and if anyone recognized themselves it is not them. What do you think?

Update and Happy Easter

Happy Easter! It is still cold out and I am concerned about global warming which is becoming more known as climate change. I did attend a three day seminar regarding the changes in weather about six years ago and it was not very promising. However, I always have hope that society will take a wake up call and not get used to this. But, actually take a more responsible role to not only respect each other but nature. So it has been a cold start and I am anxiously awaiting warmer days where I can at least be outdoors with minimal dress and feel the sun on my face. I intend to spend as much as possible outside for our short months of wonderful weather. I have written about thirty pages of my third book and I like it, if I say so myself. I really enjoy writing stories. It’s fun. I am awaiting delivery of my second book which will take about two or three weeks and then I will begin the process of a new web site just for my books. That too will be fun and if fun actually brings in some money, than I will be able to have even more fun. I have a dream of trading in my 19 year old car. There is still some school debt hidden somewhere first. Yeah! To dream………… The College of Psychotherapy (CRPO) is starting up soon and applicants should be receiving invoices in the next two or three weeks. Why don’t you check out the site. You can see it on-line. There has been a lot of resistance, much more than I thought, but the public does need to be protected. This is so long over due in my opinion. This week is Holy week for many. It is a time for family and friends and lots of chocolate. Chocolate just came to mine while I was typing. It is a time for reflection of what you have in your life; what you are thankful of. It is a time to examine your life. What have you done for others? What have you done for yourself? What do you believe in? Does it provide you with peace? How is your health? Can you sleep at night? Why not? Have you got anyone to talk to? Have you got anyone to laugh with? Are you happy with your partner? If not, why not? What can you do to find peace and happiness within yourself? Are you looking for something and are not quite sure what it is? I wish you and yours a Happy Easter season with lots of blessings! What do you think? I just noticed that it is April Fools day today. Gotta go and fool some people I know. Have some fun today with April Fools!

Hypomanic - Abnormal Psychology notes

A distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive or irritable mood lasting throughout at least four days, that is clearly different from the usual non depressed mood. during period of mood disturbance 3 or more symptoms have persisted, 4 if mood is only irritable and have been present to significant degree. inflated self esteem or grandiosity. 2. Decreased need for sleep. 3. More talkative _____to 7 (same as posted previously in manic. Not as severe. The episode is not severe enough to cause marked impairment in social or occupational functioning or to necessitate hospitalization and there are no psychotic features. not necessarily something that is depleting. Executives climb the ladder working 15/16 hour days. They channel their energy. If not, might have a problem channeling.

Confession - A Catholic’s Nightmare (can be) (Pastoral)

Confession is a requirement in the Roman Catholic Tradition. It has changed though from the past. Now instead of telling each and every individual sin, you may confess to a theme. You may also do it once a year. So this Easter season, I was talking to a friend of mine and she wanted to know when I was going to confession. “7:00 o’clock,” I told her and she replied that she would meet me there. I went to my Parish church earlier so I could get my thoughts in order and think of my theme. I always say I do not have patience. The last priest which I blogged about told me that I needed to be more patient with myself so I could be so with others. That made a lot of sense to me. This time I had an entirely different experience with the same sin (plus one). I sat myself in the pew to ponder my sins. I have been so busy that I have not really had time to sin. However, knowing I am far from perfect, I must have sinned, so how did I sin? The Pastor stood at the front and in the Portuguese language talked much. I thought he would say the same in English but that did not happen. I felt lost not being able to hear anything in English. I asked someone seated behind me what he said, but she did not speak English. I was wondering if I was going to be able to say anything else besides me having no patience again. That was beginning to sound dull, even to me. I must add something this year, I pondered in the English language. The Pastor left and returned to say that there would be Priests coming and that Italian would be heard from him at the back (in the confessional stall) and Portuguese would be heard at the front. English would be heard as well. I remained seated thinking about my sins. Is that really a sin I asked my self? No, I told myself, it is not. As I sat there contemplating of the entire method of confession, Priests began piling in. There was an Asian Priest and a long line quickly formed at the right front side of the church. No one was going to the Pastor. I followed suit to the Portuguese line. As I stood in line, I saw my friend enter the church. She was looking for me and I waved like an idiot for her to see me. She does a lot of work in the Church. She is a good person. Her sin is not having enough fun. Another priest comes in, a tall man, I later learn is Polish. She goes to him at the front left side of the Church and in no time, she is seen. I notice that people from the Centre seem to be moving fairly fast. There is an African Portuguese Priest who I thought was Canadian but boy was I mistaken. I notice that my line is not progressing and that another Priest has entered and is at the back centre. The centre line is almost empty and so I join the shorter line. I now see the other priest who is at the back near the altar and is very close to a person confessing. He has a very kind and serene type of face and is middle aged, older than the rest. Both he and the confessor are seated. The other priests at the front all have a mobile kneeling post for the sinner to kneel on. The priests however sit. This is very different from what I am used to. I am used to sitting. I have gone back into time. I see the Asian Priest assisting the elderly people to rise and kneel in front of him. He picks up an elderly woman’s purse to assist her. He is uncomfortable and I notice he is thinking of giving her his seat, as he looks back at his seat. He is compassionate. However, he cannot give her his seat. Where would he go? He cannot kneel before her. I am next and go to the African Priest and kneel. The Priest behind him at the back has a chair for the sinners but someone is still with him. I have forgotten when I last confessed and do not want to lie. He asks me if I speak Portuguese. I say no and ask if that is a problem. He says his English is not fluent but I do not guess that at all. I tell my sin of not being patient and throw in that I get angry some times. Then I hear it. I get a first experience of a different perspective from the last Canadian Priest. He begins to instruct me with Jesus always being patient and I am to continue in rote. I know what he wants to hear so I finish his sentences. I am responding in rote from my early childhood. He wants me to complete his sentences that Jesus is patient with me and therefore I should be patient with others. He is referring to the new Testament and what I really want to say is that Jesus was always getting mad. How can he not with the fools he had to deal with. However, I am visible to all the people in the Church. I have said my two sins and I am there forever getting a lecture. He then gives me my penance. “I want you to spend 10 or 15 minutes thinking about God etc…..”I am pleased. My penance is just spending time with God for 10 or 15 minutes. I do that anyway. I was hoping for a Hail Mary but this will do. Then he continues, “ and every day I want you also before you go to bed etc……and everyday before you open your mouth, I want you to think……” I say my Act of Contrition and he forgives me for my sins I am sure and all the ones I forgot, I am sure because that would be the routine, but of course I cannot understand because it is not in English.” I join my friend and she tells me she has to say the rosary which she does not mind because she does that anyway. I am in shock and told her I have penance for a year and stress the part about thinking before opening my mouth each time I open it. “What would be my penance if I killed someone!” I cry out rhetorically She is amused and I see her laugh which is good because she had to go to a funeral the day before which saddened her. My penance is amusing her. I do normally spend time every morning with God and normally when I go to sleep. However, to think every time before I open my mouth? That is not possible. I don’t know if he misunderstood me or if he thought I need anger management and this was his way of trying to help me with it. If I ever see this Priest again, I would certainly approach him and tell him what I really thought about Jesus and how he got mad. I would also say that it was the man part of him. Does God get mad? I am not God. I am only a mere person. Of course I get mad! What did this teach me? I am glad that it was me who he gave this penance to. I am glad that he did not give this penance to someone who could not accomplish this and think it was his or her fault. I wondered what education this Priest had and what Order he was from. I thought of the Asian Priest who thought so much of the elderly people who knelt before him, that he helped them as much as he could. I wondered what my penance would have been if I went to him? Would he have told me to be kinder towards myself? Would he have given me a Hail Mary? You are probably wondering why I am talking so much about my confession. It is simple. When you go to confession, you are confessing to a Priest who has a perspective stemming from his own education, culture, order and experiences. Penance is not meant to last until your next confession, which in my case is once yearly and he knew it. Confession is meant to be inviting. There was a reason why the Church made changes. So, if you go to a Priest please keep that in mind. Priests are like everyone. They are good and bad and wise and not so wise. They are human. We are not all the same. We are what we are because of our origins, our experiences, our exposures, education and biases. We are a product of everything we have been exposed to. We carry in ourselves all that has happened to us and all we have learned in how we interact with others. I would love to see that Priest again, to have a discussion regarding his penance and his views of confession. My suggestion to you is if you ever go to confession and do not experience a warm and inviting presence, and feel bad about it, please go to confession to someone else asap. This brings me thinking to what a colleague of mind said to me once. “It is easy for you to say go to someone else. What happens when you are from a small town and there is no one else.? I do hope I see this priest again so I can speak to him about how he came across to me. I would like to share that Jesus was God as well as man and that he was very much annoyed with others. He was always looking to change what he found unjust. He was annoyed with the religious leaders of the time and how everyone judged others instead of looking at themselves. He was supportive of women and they in kind supported him. There is so much we can learn from the life of Jesus. In the end, he summed us up, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” Easter is fast approaching. Why not remember someone this season. In my neighbourhood several of us exchange small treats. Regardless of what I get, I appreciate it all equally, from farm eggs to chocolate to trinkets. It is an expression of love and that is what Jesus taught me most of all - love. What do you think?

My second book is now all completed with a teaser about my third

Yesterday I completed checking for errors and reading my second book for the third time. I learned a lot since publishing "Hey Guy Buy Me". I read mostly out loud to catch more errors. At times a comma would be at the wrong place which would change the entire meaning. Words are beautiful. I love our language. We could do so much with words. The design of the cover is wonderful too. My first book I wrote simply for fun. My second book is historical and a biography at the same time. It is about me and my experiences. It is from my perspective as I journey on a rite of passage. You will be able to journey with me back in time, to the present. That is all I am saying about it for now. My objective now is to have a bit of fun, work a bit and then continue writing my third book. This time I hope to qualify for grants. I never seem to be able to qualify to get anything business wise or tax wise. Another thing I have learned about my writing is that I need to stay in the mood of what I am writing about when it comes to books. Sometimes, a thought will come and I want to integrate that into my book. I had to stop writing my third to concentrate on the development of the second. I had to get my mind back into that time span and that life, which is very different from how I live today. I do not work as hard, nor play as hard. I am more mature and less athletic (actually I sit all the time at work and at the computer typing which is more than I have ever done) to the point where I realize I should move more. That is why I would love to have a pool, write, see clients, walk to the falls and spend time with friends. However, moving from Toronto is difficult because everything is here. Seminars, education and all else for professional development is here. It is as simple as that. So, I need to do more research and think more because that is what I do. I have decided to continue with this blog. Hopefully, you will download my book when I am all completed with the process. Hopefully, you will contact me if you need counselling. And if not that is ok too. I plan to place all my notes of all my studies on this blog. Why not share all and then it is out there so I can rid of my notebooks. I am not a pack rat. I do not like to keep things that I do not need. I am forever putting things outside for someone else to pick up. I call that re-cycling. Information that I have but was handed out in classes, I organize into different disorders or psychotherapy methods I like to use or think of using in different folders. I have a lot of work to do within using different methods of organization to work better for me. I can no longer work on a sliding scale nor should I after six years of working for so little or nothing because of internships. However, I have not raised my fee and people have the option now of seeing me weekly, monthly or whenever they see fit. I have found that this works for them due to one particular insurance method. I am always growing and changing my methods to accomodate what works for clients. Nothing is rigid. If there is something you would like to do but have not, ask yourself why? Our life on this earth is so short; why keep yourself from doing what you want? Do you want to write a book? I find that when I have a table and am selling my book, quite a few approach me wanting to know how to start? Start by writing. Write down a thought and get it on a computer and begin. Write from your heart, from your soul. Just start and then continue until you are finished. Do it! What else have you been thinking of doing and think it is too late? Why? What do you think?

Reading final draft of my book before printing

I am reading over the final draft, for the third time before it goes out to print. It is kind of exciting. I will initiate another web site just for "Hey Guy Buy Me" and ebook and hard copy of book two. It will be very exciting to get this off the ground and more so, if there is an interest from you. What are your passions? What excites you? What do you get out of reading my blogs? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you spending too much time on the internet and not enough with people? What is it that most fulfills you? How do you find peace in a fast paced life? How do you balance your life with joy, work and interests. Are you happy with your work? What can you do to find something that is more fulfilling? Lots of questions for you this week. What do you think?