Writer’s Corner

Last night I attended a webinar for a writer who belongs to the Crime Writer’s of Canada which I belong to. I won’t identify him because he said that you have to give away a lot of books and I don’t want people bombarding him for free books. He knows where I live, since he is part of the Board. I thought the entire talk was going to be on marketing, where I have no experience in. However, that was not the case, but that’s ok, because it had me thinking. This is a man who went from being a business man to a writer later in life. He has written four books. I have written four books. I actually had to count. Hold on, I am going to check my website. Yup, I have four! He was actually combining mystery with what he has learned in the business world. I am going to combine psychology/psychotherapy etc…with murder. What he recommended is never write more than a paragraph about the other, in his case business. In my next book, this will be the first time I shall write about such a combination because of the large requests I have had by the public at events. I can just sit down and write a book on couple therapy, family therapy, individual therapy etc……but I don’t want to. It is my work. Writing books is my passion; my life; my creativity. I have been doing so, since I was a child. However my life is also being a therapist. So, why not combine it all? Can it hurt? I don’t think so. I had one Author, his name is Steve Shrott approach me a few times at Word on the Street and it was he who suggested I join the Crime Writers of Canada and that I should write about “what I know.” I actually read his book, “Audition for Death” which is very funny. However, what brings me to mind is Toni Morrison whom when teaching students told them not to write what they know, because they know nothing. She told them to use their creativity. I have lived and worked long enough to have more than just creativity. Yes, I can write what I know, but that isn’t fun and when I write, something happens - the words write themselves onto the paper. I go into the direction my characters and their plots where they want to go to. My characters come alive and write their own stories. I need to always be open to learn and I am curious, a few of the traits, last night’s speaker spoke of. He said that as writers we need to connect with every reader. I agree but sometimes that connection is not there for everybody because we are all different. I can have one reader love me and another hate me for what I write. He said that people will buy our books if they like us. He talked about author events which I am always keen to attend. I am returning to Word On The Street, this year and hope to see you there. Then he said something that caught my attention. He said that John Grisham, one of my favourite writers ordered 1000. of his first book for a library event and then kept 900 of the remainder in his car to sell. You know, I never keep books in my car and that is something many authors seem to do. They have their books everywhere and I have bought a book more than one occasion which was pulled out of a purse or deep pocket. Where would I keep my books? Under my hair? Let me think? I really am not a business person, but should heed some of the repetitive advice I hear. He also said that not until someone read Grisham's book and turned it into a movie, that things went crazy. Well, not exactly his words, but you know what I mean. The same happened to Stephen King, my favourite all time horror author whom I discovered when I was serving in Europe. His books were in the library and I read each one. I was hooked. The Author last night said what prompted him to write books was when he believed he could write better than what he was reading. I have thought that at times as well, though I would never say it. Oooops, just did. I don’t identify the authors. I think that is mean. Sometimes, it is not true, as well. There is one Toronto Author whose books I have read and another Author was bashing him on social media. It was awful and untrue. I thought the rage was more than about his books. Not nice. I stayed out of it. However, sometimes I wonder. Not that long ago my sister asked me to read a book because she wanted my opinion. She said that it was among a series which she didn’t know when she ordered it, and that the Author had been on the best sellers list for New York Times, I believe. Since my sister asked, I read it or most of it. It was too terrible to finish. There was nada in it, except dialogue. I had no clue to what the characters looked like, what their history was, what the weather was like, nada. It was simply people talking to each other. The question I was asked is how in the world could any of this person’s books be a best seller? I have no clue. The author last night also said that if we are self published, we need to stop identifying our selves as that. Oooops, I am self published, no I am not, then what am I? Then he explained why? Apparently, there are a lot of people out there who write trash (not his words) publish it and sell it. Now, I have used the same publisher and each time she states after she reads it, that she accepts and sends me a contract. The Author last night said the trashy self published use cheap covers etc…I love the covers of my books and get compliments about that all the time. Some people buy my books simply because of the covers. Others buy my books because of Holy Terror and some buy just because. So, if anyone can think of another name, by all means I am always open to suggestions. I have attended webinars where I have been told the opposite. However, I believe they were the Americans sisters and of course it is known that I love Americans. Speaking of which…..I had to mail “Ominous” books and realized that I had run out of packaging so I rushed to the dollar store and there was a man blocking my route in the aisle. He turned looked at me and I saw a beast. He had hair all around his face and I wasn’t sure which was facial hair or hair that should originate from the top of his head. I was in the presence of a werewolf, and I could feel my eyes widen, as he stared at me. All of a sudden, he smiled, the most radiant smile, which lit his entire face and seemed to glow. Wow. The beast had turned into a prince and with a southern American drawl, he said still smiling and radiating, “You, trying to climb up my back?” I don’t know how to write in a southern drawl. My eyes still wide and uncertain how I am feeling, replied “sorry” and departed quickly to find my envelopes. I thought I would share that because I now find it funny. What I find interesting is that everyone has an opinion and that is how it has worked for that particular Author. It is all good as I navigate the possibilities. I was watching a documentary about Agatha Christie. I have read all her books. Apparently “The Affair at Styles” was turned down about six times. What comes to mind is when one person who was reading my book (as a professional), “The Internet Murders” told me that the book was not reflective of my city. You know, I have lived in Toronto for most of my life aside from my work details and being born outside the country but arriving here at 18 months of age. The only other places I have frequented is Montreal and Niagara Falls, so here is a person who comes from the middle of nowhere out West, telling me about my city and how I don't seem to know it. Which brings to mind, that last night’s Author said we should always be polite regardless of the bashing we will get. I try to be. I don’t normally become rude. I have been called everything under the sun and realize that people come from their own space and many are suffering. This is just from my previous careers, never mind my writing. The one thing I do find annoying is when I am asked if the book I have written is any good. I sometimes do say, “No, I did my best to write the worse ever” or words to that effect. On that note. I think, “Ominous” is the best I have written. I think that each book has been different from the other and won’t get into details now or ever or maybe later. The message I got was get a movie right and you will sell your books. However, he did say that you cannot write because your mission is to sell many etc….and I agree. He said there are 4000 new books out each day. I hope I got the number right. He said that even King and Chrisham have commented on the amount of competition. I think they are ok. Now, I am going to let you know also if you are writers to be careful. There are so many scams out there and some are false promises of film deals. It is terrible so don’t get too excited until you do your homework. Make sure that they are legitimate. So a film deal? That will supply me with an income? All you need to write is a room of your own as declared by Virginia Woolf, if memory serves me well. You know, we have a Tik Tok American food critic, Keith Lee, who happens to be in Toronto and he has sales soaring from local restaurants. I was watching a group from one kitchen thanking God in a circle. It is nice to see people not shy from thanking God. Do you think I can convince Keith Lee to take a bite out of one of my books? How would that taste? Wonderful!!!!!!! Good talk.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman The Middle East www.silvaredigonda.ca

We stopped at an American post. I went inside and an American Officer began shouting at me. I was wearing a military t-shirt and combat pants and I guess he thought that too unmilitary. The Colonel came in behind me and told me to wait in the jeep. I left but not without hearing him yelling at the young officer, telling him that he was a Colonel and to address… and… and… . I did not like that American Officer and was glad that he was getting a taste of his own arrogance. The Colonel was a decent man, respectful to all of us and I had never heard him so much as raise his voice. He was an intellectual and a gentleman, but he was also a Colonel with the Military Police that was equivalent to our RCMP. He was no one’s fool. As I sat in the jeep waiting for the Colonel, I was approached by several American male soldiers. They carried a dog much like our own and she was named Lady. They begged me to take her. She was their dog and they loved her but the same American Officer who was so rude to me and was now being told off by my Colonel was going to put their dog down. I felt bad for them because I could see their pain. As I write, I wonder why we were all trying to save animals in our care. Was it because a pet was a bit of home for us? Was it a part of something that made sense to us? We had some little creature that no one wanted in their country because it was a female, but for us we did not see a female or male. We saw a creature we could love and try to protect in a country so alien to our own. I told the American soldiers that I was so sorry, but that I was driving through the desert and could not bring their dog with me. They kept begging me as I drove away, the Colonel seated beside me once again. I told the Colonel that the officer was going to kill their dog, and I told him what I thought about this arrogant officer. It is not a uniform that makes a man. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman. For your signed copy at 19.95 www.silvaredigonda.ca

Reflection Paper Two - Culture Sensitivity and Counseling by Silva Redigonda (post grad)

In the Ethics For the Practice of Psychology in Canada Truscott asks “What do you think of the relative importance of life experiences versus professional training in order for psychologists to be cross-culturally competent?” (p 126, para 3.) This is the question I will respond to as I reflect on my own cultural background, my travelling experience and being exposed to so many cultural backgrounds. I believed that Toronto was the centre of the universe until I was about twenty two years of age, began my career and travelled. I worked and lived in Europe for four years and spent six months in the Middle East. I also had extensive teaching about cultural diversity as well. I have a European background from two different cultures. I was raised to believe from my schooling and parents that we are all equal and one. What life has taught me though, is that we are different. Yes we do have similarities, and psychology focuses on those similarities. But we cannot fail to recognize our differences, as part of a culture and as individuals within that culture. To do so deprives us from providing the service our client expects from us. I was once taught a long time ago in an undergrad class that prejudice is a derivative of prejudging. As counselors we should not be prejudging. Truscott uses the term “cultural blindness” which prevents one from seeing the world as a person from a particular culture sees it (Truscott, p 113). A woman once told me that she did not want to report a serious incident to the police. “You don’t understand my culture. My father is a powerful man in my country….The police will tell him...” She anxiously told me. She was right. I was raised to trust the police. My father was not powerful. The police from this woman’s country could talk to Canadian police. It could cause harm because of our own culture of police depending and trusting each other, police may reveal information that would eventually be disclosed to this client’s father. Then what? We cannot assume or project our own prejudices. Truscott provides guidelines, “Respect, listen and learn from clients who are different from oneself in order to understand what is in their best interest” (Truscott, p 182). Truscott reveals that we may focus on the culture and miss the “individual characteristics of the person we are counseling” (p 114). I think of the expression of not seeing the trees because of the forest. This is my own spiritual reflection. Psychologists need to ensure that clients who come to them are to be treated justly by the system they are part of (Truscott, p 129). Truscott is depicting social justice and as a Pastoral Counseling student and being placed in various systems, I have already learned that at times our clients are further abused by the systems that are intended to protect them. This awareness has stemmed from my own ethical background experience. As a student, I voiced my concern and remained firm that a client did not “have to go to court” to testify against her abuser, contrary to the wishes of a centre. In another incident, I spoke with a manager from social assistance and wrote a letter regarding an immigrant being cut off from her food supply for not co-operating with her case worker. This action resulted in the procurement of immediate funds for my client to be able to feed herself and her child. These actions demonstrated the Principles of Respect for the Dignity of Persons and Responsible caring (Truscott, p 162). Truscott reveals “Psychologists have an ethical responsibility to try to draw attention to and correct the misuse” (Truscott, p 163). My actions and ethics have demonstrated this even though it may have caused discomfort to myself at the time. What has been enforced is also Principle 1V: Responsibility to Society, in Development of Society, IV 29, “Speak out and/or act,if the policies, practices, laws, or regulations of the social structure…seriously ignore or contradict any of the principles of this Code (Truscott, 167). I have a strong sense of ethics from my previous careers and training. I have a deep caring for the individual where ever he or she is from. Though I have continuously been educated to the changing sensitivities of a growing diverse culture here and abroad, it is the experience of my interactions and visiting various cultures which has provided me with the insight I need to grow and provide the services I do with the different people I counsel.

Thoughts of the Week www.silvaredigonda.ca

I really enjoyed Easter and still have to give my postman and garbage men their chocolate. You should always remember those who work so hard and are too often ignored or taken for granted. They make our lives easier. Yesterday I was mailing books at Shoppers Drug Mart and I noticed a woman as soon as I walked in because she was staring at me and told the Cosmetician I wanted to talk to her. I said no and continued to the post office. I had heard her call out to the Cosmetician as mama and I cringed. I have been called mama at times and found it rather insulting. I have been told that it is being respectful. The only one who can call me mama is Mr Attitude and he can't talk, for which I am grateful. Anyhow, the Cosmetician was about half her age and that made the bite deeper. On may way out, this unidentified woman was being stared at intensely by the women in the store (there were no men). One was a TTC operator and the rest employees. It was like a movie, where everyone turns, their eyes following a person, their faces stoic. It was actually creepy. My initial response was that they were prejudice. The woman of interest was black, with tight braids, under a cap and she walked with a lot of swagger. As she walked out, with me behind her, she grabbed a flower pot with a beautiful orchard in it and walked out of the store without paying for it. A store employee came out and called out to her which she ignored. That was as far as it went. It appears that everyone seemed to know her except me. It is getting harder to go out and not see trouble. I keep thinking of Chippawa and that house, which is asking too much for it, with no garage, nor backyard, but faces a Catholic Church which my decrepid body will be able to crawl into in my old age. I can walk along the empty street of Main Street and my brain is already visualizing a book, where people disappear and no one notices, as if they never existed. Yup, that is a good one. So, please do not use it. I will, when I go to a tiny town is Niagara Falls where nothing is as it seems. Anyhow, it seems that too much is happening in my town. I can't really blame employees for not arresting her. There has been so much violence that people just let the bad guys go in and out. Me thinks we have had about enough. As for myself, I am also caught up. I still have to do my income tax, which I usually have completed by now. I am working today so will try to complete the taxes tomorrow or next week at the latest. So for now, have a good week, stay out of trouble and let me know what you think of my books. I have strong shoulders. What do you think?

Ominous www.silvaredigonda.ca Happy Easter

It's been a week and as usual, I am behind

Give a reason to celebrate and I do. It is Easter season and I have been on an Easter hunt and will be delivering gifts like an Easter bunny. On the dark side, I am still contending with the results of being conned. I would like nothing more, than have the culprits charged and deported. I was reading an article, that cons are highly intelligent but lazy which prevents them from contributing to society in a meaningful way. I think people can change. I don't agree that they are all lazy. However, I enjoyed the article which I cannot share because they don't want it shared. I wonder why. So, having all your ID stolen, means you have to notify everyone and then have everything cancelled and then having everything sent to you new. It is a Royal Pain. Not only do you feel violated, but it is a lot of work. So, I have been playing more than usual to heal my wounds. I have been surrounding myself with the wonderful people I know and care about. I have sold some of my books, "Ominous" which I encourage you to buy, because it is my favourite to date. I was asked if I started writing my next book, but hey how can I quite now? I can barely keep up with my blogs to you? What I have to work on now is my taxes so I can get that out. I am still gathering info for my practice and then I shall start with my books. You know, I am pretty pleased with myself. Happy Easter everyone. I love this season more each year. My heart goes out to the States. I keep seeing that bridge falling which must be devestating for the families of the missing and those who have died. Russia - What can I say? I also feel sad for those killed and their families. Putin was warned but he didn't believe it because he is projecting. If you are a liar, than you think everyone else is as well. For example if one person is having an affair, he will blame his partner of having one. That is pretty routine. He is also blaming poor Ukraine as an excuse to continue his devestation on others rather than ISIS. I heard Robbie Kennedy on CNN and thought that if I was an American, I would vote for him, but I am not, so the jury is still out. There you are, all caught up. Now I have to load up some gift boxes, try to work on my taxes, work out, blah, blah, blah, Happy Easter world. Be nice to someone today. Mr Attitude is calling me.

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman - The Middle East Chapter continues www.silvaredigonda.ca

I was scheduled to travel from our camp to the other camp. I would be going with the Colonel as my jeep partner. There were several teams and we would meet up at certain points. At one point the Colonel and I found ourselves in the sand dunes. A truck holding numerous Egyptian soldiers began following us. As they were catching up, I sped up to get away from them. I didn’t even want to think what could happen if they caught us and I would not let that happen. I remember when we crossed the borders from Israel and Egypt, how the Egyptians would open our bags and go through our underwear, holding up our bras and panties for the other Egyptians. They disgusted me. At one point when I was walking on the beach, Egyptian soldiers were staring at me as if they had never seen a woman. At that moment I felt like taking every piece of clothing off me and tell them to take a real good look. Even while we were lying on our own beach, Egyptian helicopters would break the rules to came down low to look at the women. I told a fellow bather that war with these people would be successful if we were to bring in only the women soldiers. While they stared at us dumbfounded we could shoot them all. I said this as I was ingesting the flying sand blowing around due to the Egyptian helicopter hovering over us. That would be one way of winning a war. The truck was gaining speed and this was the Egyptians’ terrain, but I would have rather died than let them catch me. The Colonel never said a word until the distance between us grew further and they became a small stain on the horizon.

Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” www.silvaredigonda.ca