Signing at Coptic Centre - Heads Up

I will be at the Coptic Centre 26 Aug 23 signing and selling books and of course getting close and personal, but not too close. If you are in Mississauga, why not come and say hello?

You may sign your condolences for this beautiful Police Dog who died protecting his partner. Such a tragedy for this two year old

https://www.tps.ca/media-centre/stories/tragic-loss-of-police-dog/

How do Children Remember? Research by Dr Thanujeni Pathman, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology at York University and a bit about me.

“This presentation examines what we know about children’s memory and the factors that support memory development. Learn about changes that are occurring in the brain as kids get older and the sophisticated memory abilities in young children. Viewers will also learn about the implications of child development research for forensic settings (eyewitness testimony) and education.” I attended the one hour lecture. Initially I found it dry. I studied memory and aging at York University in my undergrad so much was a refresher for my grey cells. However, it soon became interesting as new good stuff came up. Research is so important, though it was clinical work that interested me. Dr Pathman spoke of her research, in the lab and at the Toronto zoo during a camp week with children. For parents interested in having their children participate in any of the research find the parents page and if there is a study age related for a child, you can sign up. There will be a video of this session probably in a week. Look up York University Scholars alumni for an u tube video. I can keep an eye for it if you are interested and post it for you. What I found new for me and very interesting is that event memories emerges in infancy. This has been my view for ages but now there is evidence to support it. My question to her was: Are there memories before birth? For ages, people have refuted my belief. Here is my happy dance. There have been studies when a child is in the womb, when stories are read and music played. There is evidence that after birth the child is able to show familiarities to those materials and also to recognize voices heard when in the womb. Another area of interest to me is forensics regarding the idea of children not being able to be believed. Remembering my own military police training (ages ago) we were informed that testimony of children was unreliable due to exaggeration. However, as a Psychotherapist the memory of horrific sexual abuses people have experienced even as babies is remembered. They can remember clothing and who abused them, too often a parent and their friends. I see people who have come from throughout the world and too often their abusers are dead. I often think there is a pandemic of child sexual abuse. In Canada we have to report the sexual abuse of children, but we notify them of our reporting and confidentiality regulations. When people are notified what I have to report, how many people will be open? Anyhow, back to the session. There will be more research conducted and so there will be evidence for therapists to provide in court regarding a child’s testimony. Anyhow, that is all for now. Someone asked the question if more memory is remembered in real life rather than screen time. During screen time, though it is possible to learn, it is better to learn when more engaging. I am also going to add that note taking by hand is best to retain memory than typing notes on your computer. I still take notes by hand even though I can’t read my writing at times. I also prefer attending conference live, but by attending on line, I have the opportunity to attend more. Anyhow, what I thought was going to be boring, turned out to excite me. Saturday I shall be attending a sister’s of crime event again by my American sisters. It will be regarding how IT will effect us as writers. I am thinking of adding an IT component in my next serial killing book so I need to learn as much as possible about it. Unfortunately I had to miss a few on the topic but I need to make it a priority from now on. That’s it for now. I will be attending a Mississauga meet your local author, with me there selling and signing my books. I missed Word on The Street and didn’t do any signing what so ever so I want to be more motivated for that as well. So much to do. Anyhow, have a nice week. I don’t know if I shall have the time to write more this week, but I want to cut and paste one of my books for you. My publisher is now reading Ominous, so wish me luck. I have more to talk about that too. What do you think?

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues : An Emotional Safety Plan

The experience of being abused and verbally degraded is usually exhausting and draining. Find support: Attend as many crises counselling group sessions as possible. Join support groups of other women. Become involved in community activities to reduce feeling isolated. Find a part time job to reduce isolation and improve finances. Enrol in school to upgrade skills. Take time for yourself to read, mediate, play music etc… Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support. Take time in social activities eg. movies, dinner, exercise. Take care of your sleep time and nutritional needs. Keep your client profile up to date to help you feel prepared for up coming events. Keep a journal to write about your feelings. Keep it in a safe place or burn it. Take time to prepare yourself emotionally before entering stressful situations like talking to your partner, meeting with lawyers or attending court. Limit yourself to one appointment per day to reduce stress. Be creative and do what makes you feel good. Write something positive about yourself each day. Don’t find comfort in drugs, alcohol and food. It is ok to feel angry. Find positive and constructive ways to express it. This is what I am going to add: Partners who are abusive try to isolate you from friends/family. Siblings or other important people in your life will be put down by your partner. Be careful. This may be the beginning. The more isolated you are, the more your partner will try to control you. Be aware of the honeymoon effect. I have written about it previously. The Police will help you. They are not the bad guys/gals, your partner is. Check out the support they may offer you. The list above may be too much for you. Look at what is manageable for you. Try something and then add to it when you are ready. Toronto has a lot of free resources. Call 211 for what is available to you. Be kind to yourself. Some may feel shame for what is happening to them. This can happen to anyone. Also, men too are abused by their partners which often causes additional shame since they are men and the culture believes this cannot happen to them. Often in their cases, it may not be taken seriously. This series will continue with a child’s safety plan.

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues…At work

Each woman must decide when and if she will tell others about her abusive partner. You may choose to do if any of the following: Tell your employer, the security operations and other key people or friends. Ask to have your calls screened at work. It would help to have these calls documented. Discuss the possibility of having your employer call police if you are in danger from your ex partner. When arriving or leaving work: let someone know when you’ll be home. Carry your keys in your hands. get a remote or keyless entry car door opener. Walk with someone to your car (security may also do that). Scan the parking lot (I would add to park where there are security cameras as close as possible to where you will be working). Walk around your vehicle, look under the hood and check if anything has been tampered with and check brakes. Remember to keep your car seats forward, so you know if someone is hiding in the vehicle. If your partner is following you, drive to a place where there are people to support you eg. a friend’s house; police station. If you have underground parking consider parking across the street. Keep a sign in your car with “call police”. When walking ensure it it populated. Keep changing patterns of when you arrive/leave work and other places. If you see your ex partner on the street try to get to a public place, eg store. Call attention to yourself and request help. Next: An Emotional Safety Plan

Taking advantage of the summer

I noticed that the three day conference I posted regarding systemic family therapy didn't quite work. Oh well, the actual courses are not listed yet but it should be a great event. I love the American Conferences but unfortunately can only attend virtually because of Mr Attitude. They have a big one in London England and that is a country I tried to go to about three times. I talk about that in my bio. www.silvaredigonda.ca. Well I had to bring my car in but no worries, they needed a part which was of no cost to me, so it appears that my new old car should do me well. I actually really like it. It doesn't look so big when it isn't beside my old car. I actually got attached to that car and feel like I abandoned it for a newer model. Imagine getting attached to a car. I seem to get attached to all my cars and pets. I worked out all the details with my publisher and now that is good to go. This Saturday the Sisters of Crime have a guest speaker talking about self publishing so I need to find the time to attend. It is only an hour and a half so I better make the time. It is the advertising and getting my face out there. People seem to like me at events so I need to be more visible in person. If you are in Toronto and have a book club or book store, I am available. I am planning for next summer. I went to the Bloor festival as the pick of the week and though they have vendors I would have to supply my own table, chair and tent. What do I look like, Superwoman? There has to be something more realistic like you supply the table, tent and chair and I will supply my books and bring my own pen. How does that sound? I still have lots to supply you with but I have also been cheating and having more fun. Also, beause of my injured leg I have also joined a mini gym so I can use the bicycle which has less stress on the leg or so my physio therapist tells me. He prefers that I swim but there is no parking at the place I really want to join. I also like to spend more time having fun because I have been working very hard and I must practice what I preach. Mr Attitude wasn't feeling so well last night and so I prayed until he got better. Like I said, I get attached to my pets. He is now fine once again. Summer is so short and we need to enjoy it when we can. That's all for now. New car, good as new leg (almost)and Mr Attitude is still alive. I am also spending any free time reading for fun. Good talk. Next : Creating a safety plan to get away from your abusive partner continues on Thursday.

Event Registration - 2023 Systemic Family Therapy Conference

Event Registration - 2023 Systemic Family Therapy Conference