MY DESCENT INTO HELL - Paper I submitted in Eschatology class regarding this book by Howard Storm

By Silva Redigonda Every once in a while one may read a book, that can touch her heart. My Descent into Death by Howard Storm does much more than that. It takes hold of your soul. Reading this book has been a challenge because it brought tears, laughter and soul searching. This book could not be read and set aside and yet this book could not be read in one sitting because it is too overwhelming, at least it was for this reader. To provide a formal paper for this book is to do it injustice because it is a call to each person to take notice that there is God and Jesus and angels and devils. To write formally regarding someone who wrote so much from his heart might take away from what I believe is the intent of this book so I will take a chance and just speak from my heart as well. I opened this book during reading week. I was feeling sick, battling some cold and had slept for about two days while trying to stay awake reading dry material. I was just starting to feel better and began reading Howard Storm (I did not read a book. I read a man). As I began I was grateful that after weeks of formal jargon, I could just sit and actually enjoy what I was reading. Tears began to run down my cheeks and I felt that I might still be sick. Why else would I be crying? I decided that I would lend this book out to everyone before the course even ends because I want to know their reaction. I finished reading Howard Storm and realized I had done so in four segments. I had only the Pilgrim left to read and after I did, I began to type. I did not read other material from my mountain of required reading during the breaks from Howard Storm because I wanted to remain totally absorbed with what I was experiencing. For over a year I have been reading everything I have been told to read but finding God or Jesus in it has been somewhat confusing. The Bible has become more of a historical text to me than inspiration. Listening to people outside of our school in other courses has made me question how some can call themselves ministers in their self righteousness. Reading Howard Storm I felt God and Jesus and the angels and the devils. I felt Howard’s pain but mostly I felt the pain of God. Not for a second did I doubt what Howard Storm was revealing. I believed all of it. Because I believed it, I suffered. Why do I believe Howard Storm? Because to me My Descent Into Hell makes sense. Howard Storm was a bono fide atheist who apparently had a dislike for any type of religion or spirituality. It must have been pretty bad, for him to experience hell. It is raw emotion that Storm is experiencing. He takes you on his journey. Being held by Jesus and beginning to understand our world, what an experience! It appears farfetched yet it is believable because of the man he was. Why would he make all this up? He was well positioned and respected in his field. He had no belief in God. He was even annoyed by it. What I find comforting is that God does intervene in the world (p 43). I sometimes feel that we are very helpless as individuals when it comes to changing the world. We seem to be under the control of a select group of people who make national decisions and those same groups are somewhat controlled by other sub groups. Even in free nations I must ask how free are we? With God intervening there is hope. Yet that intervention also causes fear because it may mean death for many. I also have comfort, knowing I have a guardian angel because I sense someone with me at times (pp52, 140, 141). Though I very much believe Howard Storm I do argue a few statements. By the quotation, “Parents can never stop loving their child no matter what”…(p62) I disagree. I think there are some very nasty people out there. People have beaten and killed their children with no remorse. If this is Storm speaking I can understand. This would not be Jesus speaking because he knows better. I also am surprised that Storm uses the analogy of doubting our parents as we may doubt God.(p 66). Parents can be seen. They are physically there. Howard did not believe God until he saw God so I do not understand his reasoning here. I think that faith is required to believe in God unless someone does experience something outside of our rationale as Storm did. There is so much to talk about this book and how it can effect. This book has helped me decide that I will not refuse pastoral care to anyone who will come to me for it. If I am too busy I would refer them to others but never because I find the person repulsive. As I read about Storm crying out to Jesus to save him (p 25) I crossed out my question to another professor for another class. I read salvation 8 times in one page of the Vatican 11 and thought it overkill. Suddenly it made sense. I understand now what the purpose was of our first assignment. This is hope. There is something after this life that is good. We just need to be reminded at times. Sometimes some of us just need a little help with our faith. Howard Storm has been that help for me.

Forensic Psychology continues (2)

Even though there doesn't appear to be much of an interest in this topic, I want to continue to provide my notes, not only because I love the topic, but because I think it is important. Please note that any errors would be mine and not that of Dr Ramsland. Forensic Psychology Webinar - Katherine Ramsland - notes Violent Mind - 1976 Assessment of Ted Bundy. Paranoid Schizophrenic can be violence. Are afraid; have delusions. Religious Disturbances - killed her five children; demonic possession idea. With Personality Disorders - Usually don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Psychotic people have been able to represent themselves. Assessing Psychopathy (Canadians created - FBI use it. 1. Conduct a comprehensive interview. 2. Review collateral info. Lack of remorse, guilt, or empathy. Shallow emotions, grandiose. PLC R Assessment - 20 items 0, 1, 2 (a different assessment) 30-40 score - psychopath. Psychologists will make recommendations on how dangerous. Jury, Corrections, Police Training, death investigations (her favourite. She teaches a course on that). Tunnel Vision, Confirmation bias, Diagnosis Momentum. All of these distort investigations. Not all police want this. If they do -Behavioural Analysis - Is there a crime? What type of crime? Suspects? Reconstruction; Predator. What was done? How? Evidence of planning/staging. Degree of organization. Evidence of motive………. Criminal Profile “is not a blue print.” List of traits and behaviours. Narrow down leads. Diminish potential pool of suspects. Developing a Profile: Start: Victimology; Evidence of Psychopathology; Signature analysis} Potential for future attacks. continues…..with Linkage Analysis

Forensic Psychology , Katherine Ramsland (notes)

I thought I had already written about this because I enjoyed it so much. However, it appears I didn’t. It is slightly dated but I believe she is still teaching at an American University and has written lots of books. I was impressed with her lecture and Americans are lucky to have her. When I studied Psychology we didn’t have Forensic Psychology because that would have probably been my passion. We were behind the States because all my books were American at the time and when I questioned it, the answer was we hadn’t written any. Ok. When I was thinking of doing my Masters they were only accepting seven that year and when I heard a brilliant student I knew was rejected, I didn’t even bother. However, so much would have been research and statistics and that simply wasn’t my interest. The States had so much more and it was easier, but more than I could afford. What would my advice be now? Go for it!!! Even if they are selecting only one person - go for it. In one of my careers, I was selected from I believe it was either 200 or 300, tomatoes or tomatos. Many were upset because I was female and when I was asked why me of all the applicants, I spoke merely the truth - I am the best! So go for it always no matter the obstacles. You are just as good as anyone else. I remember one student applying for Harvard just to see if he would be accepted. He was probably the worse student I happened to know and he made no qualms about it. He knew. Anyhow, he was accepted at 50,000 a year tuition (at the time). So, go for it…….Now back to this Forensic Psychology and I am so sorry I am late but there is so much to post. Dr Katherine Ramsland said she used to be a therapist but didn’t like it very much ( now this was at the time. Time changes us). Here is where I tell you that during my first day of providing therapy, I had such a horrible headache after the second client,that I was devastated. I couldn’t believe that after all my studying to reach where I was (I had completed my psychology degree, was enrolled in my Masters and was starting my Internship) I had decided that I hated this work on my first day. One senior student told me that this feeling was normal and I bought it. Anyhow, going back to Forensic Psychology and Dr Ramsland. She explained what a Forensic Psychologist does. A typical case: school and hospital records; work appraisals; military record; crime scene, photos, reports; and witness statements. She is there to answer a specific question, not as a therapist. The shorter the better. You need to remember what your role is. Assessment - Mental state at time of occupancy. Sometimes the court does it. Any evidence before IQ lower than 70 is not competent. She is talking about different testing. Projective, organic/motor skills (brain scans) Malingering/Deception - Faking a disorder to get acquitted etc… Special tests (suicide, depression, PTSD). DSM’s (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) to be continued………..Next: Violent Mind

If I could live it over by Nadine Stair at 86 years of Age (A poem to inspire)

I sometimes read this poem and wonder what I would do differently? I often hear others saying what they would do and it is something like "I would do the same all over again". My view is I am living the life I chose to live. There are times and situations which of course may have altered where I was going. However, if I were to live my life again, I would try new things that I simply do not have the time to do in this life time. I would try a different career to see what that is like. I would try different hobbies etc....There is so much to do in one life time and there are so any possibilites. What would you do? What are you doing now? Are you happy? Why not? Why not read the poem by Nadine Stair and take time to reflect? Are you doing what you want to be doing? Can you see yourself in Nadine? What do you think?

The Internet Murders www.silvaredigonda.ca (Order your own signed copy or how about an ebook?)

“What’s wrong with me?” She whispered. Philip joined Tomasso and they both headed towards the elevator. “Maybe we should let homicide know?” Philip casually commented. Tomasso smirked, “Homicide? She’s alive Philip. Maybe she is tired looking and a bit banged up, but she is alive.” “Funny boy.” Philip responded smirking in kind. Tomasso grinned, withholding the slap he wanted to give Philip, like the one his mother often provided him with. It was contagious and Tomasso had to keep stopping himself from doing the same continuously with those he liked. He continued, “Ok, we can still go talk to Homicide, but first I want to stop by and see Fr. Francis. I want to see how he is doing. After all, they killed someone at his church.” “Sure, you really like that priest, hey?” “What’s not to like? You know he and I went to school together. I used to always get into trouble with some wise guy or another and he used to be there all the time looking out for me. The guys just seemed to leave him alone. It wasn’t that he was tough like me, you know. There was something about him that was different. Everyone respected him, even the worse of our teachers. Maybe it was because he was smart.” “You are smart too, Tomasso. You just like hiding it for some reason.” Tomasso gave him one of his toothy grins. “Me smart? Thank you Philip. I knew there was a reason why you grew on me.” Philip remembered the first time he met Tomasso. Tomasso was having coffee in the lunch room and ranting on about the people in the States all going crazy because a cop shot a black person. “What do they think? Cops just become cops so they can shoot some black guy? They don’t think that maybe, just maybe, the copper had no choice? Naw, that’s not important. Then they find the cop is innocent by the judicial system and naw, that is not good enough and so now there is some big conspiracy going on that cops like to kill black guys. And then what, some nut job goes and kill coppers and ooops none are white. Does this make sense? Than they have this movie series that is all about sex and killing and they do a show where of course a white copper kills a black person and of course they make it look like it is done on purpose, and the show people have the nerve to say that the public is intelligent and they want to see intelligent stuff. Guess what stupid show. If people wanna watch something with intelligence they would not be watching your show. They wanna watch your show because it shows as much sex as it can for a family show. Yeah!” The room had gone silent when Philip walked in and it was only Tomasso still shooting off his mouth. Everyone else “looked uncomfortable. Philip spoke so low, it was barely audible, “How about I shoot you? What will the public say then?” Tomasso turned, looked at Philip and responded casually, “It doesn’t work that way bro. You must be my new partner. Welcome to the hood.” “How do you know I’m your new partner – because I am black?” “No, because you are mulatto.” Tomasso looked serious, as did Philip. Not a good start. “Have a donut, pardner.” Tomasso grinned, that grin that would soon become familiar. Philip took the donut without realizing that by the end of the year Tomasso would save Philip’s life not once but twice. They could downplay crime all they wanted for the rest of the world. Ask anyone who lived in Toronto all their life and they would tell you it was not the same at all. Crime was getting worse and many left the city to get away from it and all else associated with it. After Tomasso saved his life the first time, Tomasso brought Philip home to meet his mom. He had not stopped going since. Tomasso’s mother was always talking about the old days. “People had respect for the police then “and you never heard of a bus driver getting beat up. Toronto the good? Getta outta town. Tomasso – go find another job. This job is too dangerous for you. They shoot you one day.” Philip was munching on her delightful gnocchi. “Naw ma, they just try to kill your Philipo but don’t worry ma. I keep him alive just for you.” “Mrs. Rossini, give him one of your slaps, please.” Philip chided. They all laughed. Philip realized that he now had another family. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

Busy Week, no time for publisher search, Burn Out and Autism ........

I attended a full day of the Ontario Autism program but I found it rather disappointing because of all the technical problems, which was frustrating and patience is not my middle name. In fact at confession it is a staple sin since I always have difficulty thinking of anything else, because who has time to sin? The morning seemed to be focused on stigma of the use Autism Spectrum disorder, High versus low functioning etc....My clients have never complained about the use of the name. I am guided by my clients on what they like or don't like. My concern is how to help my clients period. Another disappointment was that one speaker said a diagnosis is expensive. Since there were technical difficulties, I couldn't ask exactly how much is a diagnosis? I know it is expensive. It cost 3000. from Autism Society and 2000. from my queries at York University Psychology Department some time ago. What is it now I pray wonder? I did learn that they are diagnosis at CAMH and normally anything there is free so I shall have to check into that. I appreciated the afternoon more because there was an Associate Professor from York University and he will be my go to guy if I need more information or a need to refer. As you know I did my undergrad in Psychology at York so I know how efficient and professional they are. There was also a physician during the afternoon and unfortunately I missed some of it because as I was downloading references and tips for the future, I got bounced out of the webinar and couldn't get back in. I had to check my email a half hour later and behold there was an invitation to get back on (was I angry? burrrrrr) Upon returning there was a medical doctor talking about different cultures etc.....Basically, I didn't glean anything new for the entire day except for what the York Prof said. He said that even if you don't know anything about Autism, we as therapists can still help them by 80%. That was good to hear. There are so many people out there that feel different from others but don't know why. Validation is so important. Client care is always the piority. Now today my email wasn't working properly which apparently was a global problem so I was very late for my "Burn Out" webinar. Fortunately, I finally got in to hear about how there are more therapists leaving than therapists entering the field. I heard about insurance companies and how some when therapists use their websites to see clients, their (client) information is sold. I could not believe that. Selling information of Clients? That is taboo here in Canada. First I use a platform that is approved in Canada. The owner is a therapist which I find to be an asset. Everything is under control. Now since I do everything on line at this moment due to COVID still existing and an elderly Mr Attitude, I still need to let clients know that nothing on the internet is 100% safe and have them sign an agreement. I have had no problems to date. IT is not my speciality but I am gaining a bit of knowledge as time goes on. I also do not deal with insurance companies at all. I don't deal with Veteran Affairs Canada because they want information of clients shared with them which I won't do and I won't deal with WSIB. So, for now it is just me and my clients. Fortunately I will be able to watch "Burn Out" and they are also encouraging us to share which I will do with pleasure with fellow therapists. So, that is a small portion of my week. Self care is paramount for me because when we as therapists feel disconnected we will feel that with our clients (got that speech from the webinar). So tomorrow I shall also be busy but I do want to paste another page of my one of my books. Good talk. Have a great peaceful but fun weekend.

Checking In

Hi, In Toronto we had about five days of summer weather and so out came patio chairs etc....Today it is back to no sun and cooler weather but boy was the weekend a treat. I also managed to read two books while enjoying the sun - just me and Mr Attitude (on my lap). Such a nice break. Now it is back to work (is that the sun trying to creep back?) Today I am attending a webinar about Autism which will be a refresher for me. I am also watching a documentary in segments about the first ever diagnosed Autistic person who resides in the States. That is proving to be most interesting. Oops, gotta go. Have a nice day and talk soon.