The Survival of the Weakest - Essay (English)

THE SURVIVAL OF WEAKEST: THE OLDER WOMAN BY: Silva Redigonda SURVIVAL OF THE WEAKEST: THE OLDER WOMAN Women have survived patriarchy and at what expense? In today’s society, at least in our society, women are educated, have careers, and have the freedom to be a free spirit on equal par with men. Does this have a false note? Perhaps, and perhaps women are no longer considered the weakest link to men. Perhaps, independent living taken for granted by the majority of people is not more restrictive to the older woman. The Older Women's Network identified poverty, housing and community among the needs of older women. The Stone Angel and The Book of Eve are texts illustrating and exploring how an older woman's life is forced into poverty, and how desperately she seeks her identity within her home and community. This is captured in each respective quest as the women escape from their homes in search of their independence and selves. What will be argued is that the older woman suffers poverty and that Housing and Community needs are less than adequate and are not affordable. THE FACE OF POVERTY – THE ESCAPE Older women have been identified as being among the poorest in Canada and getting poorer (Older Women’s Network, pg 11). Beresford-Howe illustrates the fall into poverty when Eva escapes from her husband after forty years of marriage. This escape includes leaving behind the comfort of a middle class environment and its’ possessions. Sadly, the reason for the delay in leaving her husband is simply the need to wait for her first pension check at the age of sixty-five. The following day she escapes. This small pension will offer her the independence she needs but also keeps her living with less than the bare necessities. Sadly, this woman after teaching for fifteen years, and taking her School Board pension in a lump sum, as a downpayment for her mortgage, has no legal claim to her house. Quebec law releases her husband of any responsibility when she chooses to live independently from him (Beresford-Howe, pgs 13 and 27). “You know those days a woman had no property in Quebec, could have no separate bank account…(Beresford-Howe pg 135). The Stone Angel depicts Hagar wanting to keep her house only to learn that it is now considered her son’s property. She had signed the house to him when he took over her business affairs. What she thought of as convenience at the time is now the reality that the house is no longer hers and that her son, Marvin wants to sell her home. Her bank account is also in his name (Laurence, pg 139). Feeling completely dependent without any resources, she too like Eva, runs away with her unsigned pension check and cashes it (Laurence, pg 145). How do these women manage? Eva describes her poverty, “…Have to renew the pressure pills, which leaves so little of my dwindling cash that I don’t buy so much as a toothpick…” (Beresford-Howe, pg 23). Eva realizes how she looks to others after trying to live on a meager pension,” I looked so different now. Just how different, those dark and startled eyes told me plainly enough” (Beresford-Howe, pg 87). “People slide curious eyes at me. Am I talking out loud?… (Beresford-Howe 148). “…they all averted their eyes and hurried past us weirdly drop-outs” Beresford-Howe (pg 180). “But you look so poor”, blurts her niece.” (pg 89) When Hagar escapes, she relishes her freedom. Hagar treats herself with small amounts of her favorite food, learning instantly that the cost for the few items she has bought is surprisingly high (Laurence, pg 148). Hagar finds joy with her new found independence, “I’m not weary at all, nor heavy laden. I could sing” (Laurence, pg 151). But quickly she finds herself desolate as she settles in an abandoned house, “My window has a broken pane, and the rain is slanting in. I realize that I am shivering…I’m terribly cold now, lying upon this lumpy mattress that reeks of mold and damp (Laurence, pg 161). Poverty in exchange for independence is what faces these two women. Eve is basically healthy to deal with and manage her poverty but Hagar, over ninety, is too frail and sick to deal with her homelessness. The Older Women’s Network relates startling figures regarding the average income for women over age 55 in Canada. In 1990 the average income was $17,525. This declined to $17,122, five years later (pg 12). Is this sufficient income for women? Is this sufficient income for anyone in Canada? How does one substantiate decreases with the high cost of living expenses rising each year? Statistics Canada, indicates that women over age 55 having an annual income of $14,999 or below (Older Women’s Network, pg 13) – survival of the weakest. HOUSING AND COMMUNITY The Older Women’s Network identifies that, “one of the most important needs of older women is for adequate and affordable housing located in a community and neighbourhood where they feel at home” (pgs iv, 28). Eva manages to find an apartment in an area of town, less than desirable, while Hagar would rather face homelessness than entry into an old age home. The authors explore the ramifications for older women. Eva describes her apartment as a “hole” (Beresford-Howe, pg 7). But regardless, she also feels that her new residence is her “empire.” (Beresford-Howe, pg 8). Perhaps the move from a middle class community to this “hole” may be the only affordable housing for her but what cannot be ignored and equally important was her lacking sense of community within her life with Burt. She found herself living “mechanically together” with Burt, sharing a roof, a name, a son…(Beresford-Howe, pg 78). She found herself to be a stranger even to her neighbour Janet Gordon who anxiously criticizes her with make believe tales of her disappearance (Beresford-Howe, pg 20). Though poor after her escape, she manages to make her apartment home with things she scavenges such as a plant disposed in the garbage (Beresford-Howe, pg 58). She finds her new life, ”private and satisfying” (Beresford-Howe, pg 58). But, she also falls victim to a deep depression. There is no community center or resources mentioned in the text which can aid Eva or assist her with her transition. Eventually she finds in her community a mate with Johnny Horvath, who re-awakens her sexuality (Beresford-Howe pg 125), and neighbours she makes time for including a young child, Jean-Paul Leblanc and his family, as well as Mrs Cooper (Beresford-Howe, pgs 172,192, and 205). Her old wise Tom Cat is also very much a part of her life as he watches her through the window and graduates to moving into the house (Beresford-Howe, pg 62). Eva has succeeded in making her home adequate for herself though by limited means and much below the level she was accustomed to. What truly enhances her life is her sense of community as she discovers herself. Hagar’s community consists of her family, doctors and the boring minister, Mr Troy, all who seem to want her in a nursing home. Though Hagar is not religious, she is forced to endure Mr Troy (Laurence, pg 117-119). It is not until she runs away that she has a lengthy conversation with someone on her own accord, Murray Lees, “His strangeness interests me and I wonder how I could have thought him a bore.” (Laurence, pg 230) Both share their grief regarding their losses and Hagar is surprised regarding their exchanges, “I’m not sorry I’ve talked to him, not sorry at all, and that’s remarkable… (Laurence, pg 245). She shares much needed laughter with Sandra Wong her roommate in the hospital after being caught by a nurse helping her to the bathroom. “Convulsed with our paining laughter, we bellow and wheeze” (Laurence, pg 302). Hagar appears much more content with her exchange of conversations with people who are not thrust upon her by her family. In this small way she not only gains a sense of community but also a sense of self. The Older Women’s Network found that the “one thing the older women …do not want is to move into a retirement home or senior’s residence…” (pg 32). Most of the reasons found had to do with their independence, privacy and need to continue living in a familiar space. Hagar though very ill and dying is still furiously independent in her mannerism, speech and behaviour as was illustrated by her escape. Hagar considers that perhaps her house is not truly home but it is hers and “familiar.” Hagar is horrified at the idea of leaving familiar grounds for a nursing home, “If you make me go there, you’re only signing my death warrant…How can I leave my house, my things…?.” This need for familiar space is again stressed by Hagar, “How can I leave my house? I don’t want to leave my house and all my things” (Beresford-Howe, pg 119). Hagar wonders what her rights are, “Can I obtain legal advice against a son? How would I go about it?” (Laurence, pg 76). She is unaware of any community services that may assist her. The Older Women’s Network identifies the lack of information that is available to older woman (pg 31). When Hagar is tricked into seeing Silverthreads and asked how she likes it, she replies, “I never cared for barracks.” She describes her surroundings, “ The little cells looked unlived-in and they smell of creosote. An iron cot, a dresser, a bedspread of that cheap…”, (Beresford-Howe, pg 98). The Older Women’s network reveals that 51% of the women felt that cold and unwelcome surroundings were a factor in rejecting retirement homes and seniors’ residences. 
CONCLUSION Poverty, Housing and Community are among the needs of older women, which need to be seriously addressed by society and improved. Margaret Laurence eloquently addresses the predicament a woman finds herself when she is trapped in a marriage because of lack of funds and the consequence of leaving. Sadly, the period is not too long ago and though situations have improved, elderly women are still suffering poverty. Pensions are extremely too low and for women who have never worked outside their home, it is even lower. Constance Beresford-Howe has guided the reader through this journey of poverty---from riches---to rags, and all for independence. Margaret Laurence also takes us on a journey from a seemingly comfortable lifestyle to another escape, this time from the nightmare of a nursing home, barrack like and lacking the warmth of familiar surroundings. Homelessness appears a better option. Again the author addresses the pitfall of poverty and inadequate housing. It is society’s responsibility to take care of our older women. It is our responsibility to ensure that our elderly are comfortable with a suitable pension, and have a voice in what they consider suitable housing and community. Women have survived patriarchy and at what expense.

One final tid bit regarding suicide idealation

Last Saturday I attended a few hours meeting with a group of my alumni peers. I thought it was very interesting when one therapist reported that farmers have four more times the rate of suicide idealation. I thought that this was one important statistic which was missed in the last lecture. However, in all fairness, I believe this is new. The Association for Farmers (I am sure I am not saying this correctly) is organizing to pay for therapy for the farming community which would include vetinarians etc... The only time I reported farming was when I attended a series of lectures at Guelph University. If you check back to that period in my blogs, you will read a piece about how technology is changing for farmers. But there is much more. It appears Corporations are making most of the money and the farmer is at the low end, though in my opinion most important. Their income is not secure and with global warming of course this will in combination with uncertainities contribute to their stress. Another point that was raised is how some suffer because their children don't want to continue with the family business. I love farmers markets and do my best to attend them for selfish reasons. I love fresh produce. However, I also will choose free range eggs from marked local farming communities or other foods rather than from Corporations whenever possible. Something to think about. I wish you all a nice weekend. Here in Toronto we are expecting the worse storm of the season I believe is coming up from Texas. Did I hear that wrong? Anyhow, as long as the electricity and gas stays on I'm good. Take care.

A Business Proposal I once submitted after a sexual assault course. I have deleted anything identifiable - Please feel free to use this as a template

BUSINESS PLAN FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT INVESTIGATION WORKSHOP Executive Summary The Sexual Assault Investigation Workshop will be implemented as an educational tool to educate members of the community regarding sexual assault, stalking laws and how to receive help within the community and outside sources. Mission Goal in implementing this program is to provide resources for survivors of sexual abuse and for awareness training and resource options availability. OUR KEYS TO SUCCESS Networking with police and hospital staff at Sunnybrook Hospital and Women College Networking with support systems within the community The Sexual Assault Investigation workshop shall be advertised using media ). This advertising will be at minimal cost to the department. The program would be set up as follows with some periods modified or eliminated: Day One 0900- 1030 - Victim’s Perspective (a victim would talk about her/his experience) 1030 –1100 – break 1100- 1200 - Victim Services in the Community 1200 -1300 Lunch 1300 – 1430 – Introducing the Sexual Assault Kit 1430 - 1500 – Refreshment break 1500 – 1630 – Criminal code Day Two 0900 – 1030 -Impact on the Victim and Rape Trauma Syndrome (preferably a health practitioner) 1030 – 1100 - break 1100 – 1200 - Sexual assault drugs 1200 - 1300 - lunch 1300 - 1430 - Initial Contact / Interview Day Three 0900 – 1030 - Interview Suspects 1030 - 1100 - break 1200 - 1300 - lunch 1300 - 1430- Protecting Crime Scenes PERSONNEL Silva Redigonda will be responsible for the establishment and coordinating and maintaining this program. Silva Redigonda will be inviting COST Training is estimated at $2000. Poster Costs and handouts are approximately $500. Beverages/desserts is estimated at $100 - $300 for each workshop. Silva Redigonda date

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

“You have to gain five pounds. 130 pounds is the minimum required weight. Those nails…” She stared at my hands in disgust. “Gone! And your hair…” she hissed, “must be short.” At the time, my dark mane reached to my buttocks, and that is how I had always worn it. When I was a child, my mother braided my hair or pinned it up. She told me that when I was very young I had cut one braid, forcing my parents to cut the other side to make it even. After that, never again, only trims to keep the ends healthy. Peter had refused to cut it all at once. “It would be too much for you my dear. We will cut it in stages. That will be much better for you. Oh my, such beautiful hair… why?” I continued to stare at my new image and wanted to cry. After spending the remainder of the afternoon with Sally and Rebecca, that evening I stayed home to be with my family. It was my last night before leaving for the Armed Forces. “You will write once a week, at least,” my father instructed. “Yes Daddy,” I responded. He loved to be addressed as Daddy. He hated Pops, tolerated Father and Dad, but cringed and hollered upon hearing the term “Old Man”, whether it was directed at him or not. “On the first day of each month you may phone…” he continued, “… and you better make it in the Armed Forces!” At eleven that night my last telephone call came to wish me luck. It was Twig. She was slightly older than I and we had been friends for a while. Her mother owned a delicatessen and I remember sleeping over at her house and stuffing myself with pastries. We always had fun. Twig married young and was unhappy about it. Her husband played in a band and wore makeup. She was afraid that he enjoyed the makeup a bit too much. After exchanging promises to write, we[…]” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” www.silvaredigonda.ca

China, China, China - Politics - Something to think about

Stat Can reports that Canadian imports from China hit 100 billion in 2022, setting a new trade record. I do my best not to buy any product from China. Why? China is dictatorship. There has been two Federal elections where China seems to be interfering. In 2021 there were allegations that China was bribing and funding particular candidates. This seems widespread involving an abundance of resources and people according to the press. Canada does not have protection against this (what's new?). This is a major concern for me and what I find disturbing is Trudeau defending a liberal politician who is investigated by our Intelligence and what does he do? Instead of a full scale independent investigation, he bashes our CSIS, our intelligence whose job this is. Sound familiar? I was stunned by the Prime Minister's reaction. Why is he so defensive? What is really going on? Years ago I was at a function where a man informed me he was a politician. So, I asked a political question which I think was quite benign. However, he exploded stating he was at a private function, and that he was a member of parliament and therefore needed to be respected. I didn't even know he was a politician, until he informed me. It was not difficult to mentally note that he was very stressed. He lost in the next election a few weeks later. Being a politician is a privilege and whoever is elected with this power should protect us. Last night I listened to the Prime Minister who said words to the effect that non public figures do not dictate to politicians. Wow! He talked about the democratic process in his determination to defend the liberal politician in question. I believe our Intelligence people and the press who expose what is going on. Apparently the Prime Minister was warned before this particular liberal was placed in power. If I was in a position of any power and the spy agency warned me that a candidate was being supported by the Chinese, would I ignore it? No, I love my country and democracy which we need to protect. Politicians come and go. Politicians are elected by us, the average person. We do have very much of a say, especially if we feel that there may be a threat. We have already learned that China has set up police stations here in Canada. What else is going on and why are there not sanctions in place to protect us? So, I think it is about time that people begin to really think about what is going on and to vote accordingly. What do you think? Enough politics .............

SUICIDE IDEALATION

Today I attended an one hour talk provided by Ryan Slobodian representing EHN. I shall provide you with some notes which provides statistics. I don’t think this was designed for therapists but more elementary from the comments on the chat room I was reading. One hour simply isn’t enough time for this topic. I will tell you that for the first few years as a psychotherapist I was very concerned about clients committing suicide or causing harm in general. Now I am more experienced and have studied the topic, researched and attended lectures so am more confident. One of my instructors in a basic course had a client when he was a student whom had thrown himself off a bridge on the Danforth. Since then that bridge has appropriate life saving security measures. This is what Ryan reported: Every year approximately 4,500 die by suicide in Canada, about 12 people a day (this excludes MAID). High risk are men and boys, veterans, people in prison and minority populations. Women have higher rates of self harm which can be a risk factor for suicide. The rates of suicide among those aged 10 to 24 increased nearly 60% between 2007 and 2018. Indigenous suicide rate is three times higher and suicide is the leading cause of death in 2SLGBTQ and youth; four times more likely to die than their peers. Among black children it is twice as likely. What wasn’t mentioned is that though women attempt suicide more, it is elderly men who are the most who die from suicide (according to my studies). Suicide also runs in families. What I normally ask clients whom I consider at risk, is if they have suicidal thoughts and if they have planned it. Also if there is a family history of suicide. There are so many people suffering who don’t really want to die but have difficulty living with pain. There are others who think about how to kill themselves for years but don’t want to. I normally encourage clients to let at least one family member know what they experience. I am also always available for couple and family therapy since my work is very systematic. Normally, there is so much shame but reaching out does help. I also encourage a support network and work on core issues. Another thing that wasn’t mentioned is if a person suddenly changes and is very positive, it may be that he or she is ready to commit suicide since all the affairs have been taken care of. If you are feeling suicidal please get help. Another thing also not mentioned is a large amount of people who have attempted suicide and failed, found later that they didn’t really want to die. Ryan also spoke about appropriate language. I may have breached that here. Sorry. Language is always changing and quickly. I do my best, especially if it is with a client. What one person may feel is inappropriate another doesn’t. Have a good weekend everyone. Here in Toronto we have lots of snow on the ground and it is beginning to snow again. Oh boy! Take care and remember don’t hesitate to find help if you need it. If you are feeling that you want to commit suicide and you can’t wait to see someone go to a hospital and tell them. There are also suicide help lines. The choice is yours. Get the help you need please. People care more than you may think. I will be getting slides/video of this lecture. If you want a copy just let me know. There was more information that might be of interest to you. Just so you know that regardless of where you are in the world or the politics going on, I consider all people equal and worthy of being helped regardless of the state of their country, wars, terror etc….Just provide me with an email and I shall send it to you. If you wish just let me know you want me to post it and I shall. If I can help one person, it is a good day.

High Tea at Casa Loma

Aw, holidays……Just love them. Family Day weekend is no exception. High Tea……I just love High Tea but I may just have to go to England to get a proper one. Agatha Christie, you simply have made me addicted to High Tea after reading all of your books. This year I decided to go to High Tea by myself to Casa Loma. Aside from my family, most of my existing friends find the price too steep. As you know I have suffered the loss of too many friends these past few years and they were the best, which is probably why God came calling or the Grim Reaper. Since I still have a lot of work to do on myself….I have been spared to date. Thank you. I want to live a strong long life or not so strong but I want to live as long as possible. Let’s get back to my topic. I have no qualms going to restaurants by myself or touring around for that matter. I actually love my own company. I also like the company of others in groups or otherwise. It is all good. When it comes to exploring though I do at times like to do things on my own so I don’t have to keep pace with anyone, linger when I want to and speed by, when I choose. When we share activities with others we need to compromise to keep it fair and sometimes, I just like to please me, me, me. So, I decided to share my experiences this family weekend. It started with trying to make reservations for one for High Tea at Casa Loma. I simply could not click reservations for one person. I could for two and more, but not for one. So, I called and left messages because no one was available to pick up the phone. No one returned my call and after a day or two I realized that no one was going to. So, I took the next step. I called the castle itself and explained my love for my castle and how I have been going there since I was a child, that my family was in Timbucktoo and that I wanted, really wanted to go for High Tea and no one was returning my call from the caterers or whoever was responsible for the High Tea. The lady from the castle, I was speaking to regarding the complications making reservations for one indicated that it was surely a computer glitch since I had hinted at discrimination against a single, rather than family event on family weekend. “Of course not” the Casa Loma lady encouraged (it was the computers fault). After my big sob story I was assured that I could go and hold and behold I was contacted and made my reservation with a lovely lady who took all my info. I had full intention of going since I think of Casa Loma as mine. It belongs to the people of Toronto and tourists. You see the poor bloke who made our beloved castle couldn’t pay for the taxes (I hope that doesn’t happen to the rest of us) and they took his castle away from him. This is the same man who brought electricity to Toronto and eventually had to live with his butler and died penniless. There is a lesson to be learned here. Be nice to the butler, you may have to live with him in his house, when you are taxed to death. Now, the day finally arrived and I was excited. It had been a few years since I had been to the castle which was high tea by the way. Or, no wait, it was the Italian festival. That was a fantastic day. All before we were chained with the pandemic. Ok, now I am excited. I drive my car and pay the $20.00 parking fee. It is double the price I paid before or is it? The price is still reasonable for my city (did decide not to go to the auto show because the parking was too pricy and I still don’t take the TTC because people are constantly attacked and well I don’t want to be a statistic. Also, they didn’t have enough cars and so they have a driver’s track. Not enough to get me to go there. Besides the only thing I would be able to afford is the one seater they plan to sell for $6000. next year. I can wait for that if my car can survive. Ok, back to the castle. So, there is ample space to park because I am among the first reservation of the weekend. It’s early and so there is parking. It fills up fast so if you are going to park there come early. There is also parking by the college, just South of there. Now I go in and I am asked if there is anyone else in my party. “Nope” I respond. “They are all in Timbucktoo. Now why would anyone want to go to Timbucktoo when they can come to Casa Loma?” I get three cheers for that comment only I didn’t say Timbucktoo and perhaps it was just one cheer and a lot of jovial smiles. Happiness is in the air at Casa Loma. There were a lot of people at coat check this year except that it was a bit more than that. It was a different location and it appears they took my coat outside. I didn’t question that and the coat was returned warm so it is all good. There was some confusion though. They wanted single files. well that just didn’t happen and I felt sorry for the American tourists who were very confused. I am used to our limitations so there was no damper to my spirits, yet. I was provided with a band for my wrist which had to placed on with assistance because I am clueless to plastic bracelets. This year I was not directed to my usual seating but that is ok. I was directed to the restaurant/bar at the West side which was good. I had planned on going there and now I have. The seating was very comfortable which I appreciated. You see my office chair for my desk after nine long years of service broke. I placed it outside and of course someone picked it up and brought it to their residence. You would think that the guy with her would have helped her carry it but no. She managed on her own. Maybe he had a sore wrist or two? I have been trying office chairs since and haven’t found one that can offer me pure comfort and built for me. Ok, sorry, let’s get back to Casa Loma. I am taken to my seat by a dashing looking tall youth who is probably an actor or should be since his serving skills need more attention. “Will anyone be joining you?” I am asked. My response, “No, no one wanted to come with me.” So of course he charmingly responds that it is their loss or some wise words to that effect. I like my location which is near the window and I see the snow globes for outside winter dining and the parking lot where my car is waiting patiently for me (yes, my car is still alive. Thank you so much. Please hang on a bit longer). I produce my reservation for about the third time and this time I actually read it. “Family Day weekend, experience the elegance of the Edwardian era with an afternoon tea at Toronto’s iconic castle, Casa Loma. An elevated experience. Guests will sample a selection of premium teas, scones, gourmet pastries and tea sandwiches in the majestic of the Castle. Limited paid parking is available onsite at a cost of $15.00 per vehicle. Additional paid parking is available South of Casa Loma at George Brown College. 1xHigh Tea at the Castle $75.00. Subtotal $75.00. Tax $9.75 Tip (18%) 13.50 Total $98.25 Experiences are non-refundable and cannot be modified or exchanged. Please call the restaurant if changes are needed.” Why did I think I paid $20.00 for parking? Is my memory failing me because there is too much in there? Did I accidentally tip 5.00? Was I distracted looking for nearby parking? I won’t sweat it. Nada. Parking is more reasonable than I thought. So, I am totally relaxed sitting in my comfortable space listening to the violinist and simply enjoy being. I inform the dashing server that I don’t eat meat. “Do you eat Salmon?” he inquires. “Yes.” I eye the wrapped salmon and egg croissant at another’s table. I am good with it. My eyes are drawn to someone’s tray with a dessert swan (nice) and a good size fresh fruit on custard in a circular baked mini pie. I am beginning to get hungry. I am not sure why but it takes about a half hour in between the first dish of no sandwiches, no egg croissant and no savoury salmon and my dessert which finally comes There is no swan and no other eye pleasing delicate pastry. It looks bare. What I get and what others get is a no brainer. I ask the dashing waiter “why?” He informs me that there is only one option for no meat or any other dietary need. It is a standard one fits all. If you don’t eat whatever than what you get is what I got. He further explains, “I decided that it was best for you to have the dietary requirement rather than to have less food.” Now, because I am in a good mood and it is the castle which just puts me in a happy place and though this is a server who is consistently disappointing me, he will eventually learn that he should not decide what is best for women or anyone else. He should have provided me the option and failed. That would have given him a deduction on any tip I would have given him. I did ask for coffee instead of tea which baffled him. “This is tea.” I am not surprised. “I want coffee.” He returns with my coffee. “Do you like it?” “Yes” I respond. “It is Coffee Americano.” I don’t comment. What can I say? The first time I heard of American coffee was in Naples and if you read my bio, you shall see it. The server in Naples told me you put it through the grinder after it has already served another, with the full coffee favour and then charge twice the amount. Stupidity has finally come to Toronto. Now, I had to wait a lengthy time to get my second course if that is what you want to call it. After waiting for about 15 minutes, I ask the woman next to me if more is coming. I had heard her ask the server that earlier. “Meringue is still to come,” She states. She is with two children whose manners are so impeccable, I almost faint a few times. I wait for another five minutes and ponder if the meringue is worth waiting for or will I be once again disappointed. I share with the woman that I don’t want to wait for another half hour and she is more than welcome to the final dessert. I figured that at least one of the two boys would accept more dessert. I leave the restaurant unnoticed. I missed the part of being provided with orange juice by another server, a bit older, more experienced, who enlightened me on what the drink is called when there is liquor inside. I had turned down the liquor since I am driving, at which point he placed the orange juice down. It was actually good, better than the coffee. I only got a second cup of coffee because the water lady came by and she could see I really needed coffee (good or bad, Americano nonsense or otherwise). I am still in my happy place. After all it is Casa Loma. I walk towards the elevator and I see both my dashing waiter and the orange juice server talking. I made a good choice of not waiting at the restaurant. The elevator has a paper sheet on it saying it is out of order. So, I move back and find myself being tackled by another hired help. I managed to get my leg entangled with his and what he does to keep me balanced is get a cheap fill. He is horrified. I am wondering if I shall suffer trauma and decide no. It was an accident. The man had no intention of grabbing me where he shouldn’t. I decide to allow him to keep standing. I move towards the stairs. My mood is starting to change. Should I roar? I climb the stairs and am almost on the second floor when aghast I watch two men carrying a wheel chair up the flight of stairs. One of the men looks pleasantly at me and tell me there is no functioning elevator. I am stunned. “You should complain!” He smiles at me and I am still in mood changing decline, from terrible service to food omission not of my choosing, to cheap feel grope and now no elevator for an elderly woman whose family is carrying the wheel chair? I cringe. The men do not seem surprised that there is no elevator for them. Are they tourists? Is it the magical castle which makes everything better? My mood alters once again, feeling pleasant. I am in my beautiful castle. I go back down the stairs after seeing everything once again and being enchanted to a time before mine. I go downstairs and watch clips of movies which have been produced in the castle. Sometimes I recognize my castle watching a movie at home or otherwise, but at other times I do not. I watch the short movie clip of the history of the castle and go to the gift shop. I complain that there is no elevator for a tourist and that it is terrible. The response is that the elevator is old. Hey that is a good answer. “Was there not a sign indicating it was out of service?” The question is rhetorical. My eyes catch the cheap snow globes which surprises me. There is an abundance of them. I decide to walk to the horse stalls. I am by myself for the first time in a long time and so I can go wherever I want at my own pace. I notice that the horse stalls now have a table in each one for guests at special events. There are artificial candles emitting a soft glow. I see the greenhouse and then I notice the red carpet. Something new since the last time are the wax figures of stars who have acted at the Castle. Some are great images and others not so much. At the entrance to the wax figures is our Prime Minister Trudeau. I believe his image is not so bad. This morning news stated that more than 2000 horses have been sent to Japan since the Liberals made an election promise in 2021 to stop the practice. That was a big disappointment for me. Ok, back to the Castle. I have posted here some of the photos I have been talking about. Would I recommend High Tea at the Castle? Yes, despite everything, I do. I would check first if the elevator is working, if someone has difficulty climbing. It is the first elevator in the city if my memory serves me right. Otis #1, I do declare. The city should have an additional installed. It is unacceptable that tourists should have to carry wheel chairs up and down flights of stairs. A law suit could become more expensive. I will probably go with someone the next time so I can keep what I like to eat with no meat and give the meat to others to avoid what I actually endured this time. My other experiences of High Tea at the castle have all been wonderful. I left the Castle in good spirits. It is my castle after all. Til next time. I mention the castle in “The Internet Murders” and coffee Americano in For Love of Country: Military Policewoman . For your signed copies buy at www.silvaredigonda.ca By the way on Family Day, I actually did spend it with my immediate family who is meowing right now to get me off the computer. Oh boy…Mr Attitude…….What do you think? P.S. I shall be going to another High Tea real soon. This is one that should be closer to the real deal and I am looking forward to it. I won’t be bothering you with the details.