Wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New

Baby it's cold outside. It's so cold I don't even want to deliver presents to the neighbours. Thankfully two came for some treats and I was able to exchange. However, some seemed to come and disappear like Santa Clause. I am so thankful for the team who shovels my snow. Brrrrrrrrr, cold outside. I am thankful that our city has kept the warming centres open and that the mayor is trying to find homes for the homeless. He is the best. That is why our city keeps voting for him. No one should be out in the cold during our cold winters. I am always happy to see how good triumphs over evil which is evident during Christmas, as people reach out to others and help. Mr Attitude wants me to wish you all a joyful time (no he doesn't, hence the name). I want to wish you a peaceful and thankful Christmas. This time of the year can be very difficult for many. Please be kind during this season. A sincere smile, sincere greeting and love can be felt. From my family to yours, I wish you the best. God bless.

The Internet Murders continues

Philip left him and entered the room. Sandra was sitting up against an array of pillows. “Hi, I’m Philip.” She focused intently on him. Philip realized that his charm did not affect this woman. “My partner and I were first on the scene when you were attacked.” She looked out at Tomasso who was flirting with the nurse. “I guess I am in great hands,” she replied sarcastically, casually looking out at Tomasso. “Don’t let his looks fool you. He is very smart.” “I’m noticing.” She remained stone faced. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I am wondering if you can remember anything?” Sandra was wondering why she was so defensive. She wanted to know who did this to her. Her body ached, but she was managing to eat. “I remember sitting at my desk and being attacked from behind.” Sandra had remembered more since she first awakened from the horror. “I flipped him and was running away. I thought I had made it, but the door wouldn’t open. I don’t really remember anything after that. I think I saw you once before though, but not there.” “I came to the hospital before to see you, but you[…]” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders. www.sivaredigonda.ca

It's the most beautiful time of the year

I am almost ready but not quite yet. It is the journey. I am trying to keep it light this year. Christmas for me is amazing. I love the lights, music and well wishes. I love watching the community reaching out to help. This Christmas is extra special because COVID, wars and dictatorship seems to have taken a toil. I would wish that during this period that everyone would put down their arms and look up at our beautiful planet and unite to make it better. It is so possible. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays my friends. I wish you a healthy New Year. I shall be posting excerpts from my books in the days to come. Is that a bell I hear ringing? What do you think?

The Internet Murders continues www.silvaredigonda.ca

She was too close to the nursing station to risk finishing her off. Waiting for the right opportunity was fine. In the meantime … on the computer, there she is, another whore …. A Starbucks coffee rested nearby for the figure to sip on. Aw there was nothing better than Starbucks … and the little minxes. The figure typed expertly. “Why don’t we go into the private room to chat? I find you charming, and please forgive me if I am too forward, you very sexy cat woman.” “Spiderman, you are forgiven. I can be a very bad girl.” Philip and Tomasso were talking in the patrol car. It was another nice day in Toronto. The sun was bright and traffic was moving again. Rush hour was over. They were going to check up on the girl at St Mike’s hospital. “So?” Tomasso asked Philip. “How did you like your meal last night?” Philip grinned. “It was great. Your mom is the best.” “I thought you said your mom is the best?” Philip smiled. “Our moms are both the best!” They parked outside the coffee shop and entered the hospital. The angel stood boldly in the hallway; a light streaming on it offered a brilliance of power. “That is one beautiful angel, hey Philip?” Philip grinned at him. “Isn’t Raphael the angel for those who are sick? This is more like St Michael, the archangel. See, he has a sword.” “How should I know?” Tomasso replied. “Angels are angels. They have wings. See – look at the wings. And, this is St. Michael’s hospital. Ain’t it?” They took the elevator to the fifth floor and walked to the nursing station to check out the latest on Sandra. She was recuperating nicely and she would be able to speak today. Tomasso decided to stay at the nursing counter to talk to the cute brunette. He had a thing for nurses. They could make you feel better. That’s what he told Philip. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

It's that time of the year to be sick

I have been so good at removing my mask only when eating outdoors but it is seemingly imposible to sit six feet apart and so there were six of us and now all six of us are sick. I am however getting better even though just a few nights ago I felt my head was going to explode. I tested myself twice for Covid and it was negative. I cannot imagine what it would have been like if I wasn't fully vacinated for Covid and the flu. I am slowly healing and grateful for that. I have had to delay and delay and thoughtful people have arrived bearing Christmas gifts while staying safely on the porch away from me as if I have the plague and righfully so. It does feel like Christmas. I have my lights outside and my beautiful tree inside with a miniature small fire place next to my tv. I have been watching Christmas movies which have become redundant since it is always the same. A rocky relationship and then there is prince charming sometimes literally who arrives and then there is a new location and/or new or ex boyfriend and romance blooms once again. If I was lucky there would actually be a Christmas song. Do I have to write my own Christmas story? Ok, let there be romance but really how about something more substantial. Then there are those really low budgets but they hire one known popular male figure who is getting older but the women are getting younger to the point that they look like their daughters. That's when I change the channel. However, there have been Christmas musical shows that I have enjoyed. I watched the Voice last night and was not surprised by the winner. I agreed with America as they eliminated one by one in the same order as I had in my head. We were on the same page. Being Canadian I can't vote and I understand. I am expecting family when I heal and so need to heal fast since I haven't even started shopping. Wait. I did. I went to Homesense and Walmart before I was struck down. At Homesense I did Christmas shopping but I kept it all for myself. Walmart? I bought two boxes of Italian chocolates and the rest again was for me and Mr Attitude. One box of chocolates I gave out as a gift to someone still unwrapped. I need to do better next year. When you're sick, you're sick. I do feel much better though and may not need the anti-biotics some others are on. Anyhow, that is it for now. Sorry for the delay in writing my blog, but I was dying over here. What do you think?

Hey Guy Buy Me - Half price for the holidays ($4.98 world wide) www.silvaredigonda.ca

It is the Holiday Season and it is time for gift sharing. Hey Guy Buy Me is my first book which I wrote in no time during my breaks. It was so much fun. I have had so much different responses to this book. Men and women buy it. Secure men love it. I won't share what the others have told me. Can't please everyone, however remember I wrote it in fun! I have dropped the price for this book for the holiday season and let me know who you are buying it for so I can acknowlege them with my John Henry. If you want me to write something, keep it clean. Have a good weekend people!!!!!!!!!!!

Improving Desire in long term Relationships - notes from AAMFT Conference (9 Nov 22) Speaker is Angela Skurtu, LMFT.

The speaker is a sex therapist. She stated that 70% of males are spontaneous and 30% are responsive. 70% of females are responsive and 30% of female are spontaneous. Responsive Desire types are forever maybe. They need to move into desire. Responsive to desire - feeling loved, feeling seen or appreciated, feeling beautiful or handsome, feeling having a great conversation, being affectionate in non-sexual ways. (Creating warmth and attention). Talking dirty or flirty. Putting mind on a sexy topic. Watching a sexy movie. Laying naked with each other and rubbing bodies together. Making out or cuddling. Creative waves, dry H——ing. May suggest a date night. May affectionately touch partner (not necessarily sexually. May not be fully invested in sex as it starts but may get there. Likely will suggest an activity that will build desire over time (if that’s an option). For Spontaneous persons- if available why not take it? Think about sex more frequently. Feeling sexually aroused and then act. Many post they can have sex daily, often initiate sex more frequently in sickness and even potential death would not prevent sex. A person can be blends between Spontaneous and Responsive. There is no hard fast rule. As people age they become more responsive. There can be times when one is more responsive or spontaneous. Everyone has some response traits. Nerve endings fire differently as we age. We numb more and so need more build up and direct stimulation. Desire strategies in therapy Individual sessions. Assess for trauma, relationship stress, underlying resentment. Assess for sex education background and general comfort with sex. Help the individual identify a personal goal for their sex life. “What’s something you can get out of this for you? What makes sex good for you? Is the sex good? What kind of sex are you having? Some clients have struggled with sex from the beginning. Boundaries in relationships. Have date nights and find ways to be alone. Maybe challenge old belief systems that sex is not good. If a person doesn’t want sex, go back to when it was good. Nostalgia. When you have enjoyed it, what was good for you. Has there ever been good sex? What do you see around you that looks appealing or not? Try to remove the idea that sex is for the other partner. Sexual Journey: 1. Try anything, 1, 2, or thrice. Bring a sense of non judgemental curiosity. 2. My body is beautiful. (There is no need to arrive or get somewhere first. I am worthy of pleasure. 3. Exploration mentally, physically, emotionally and spirituality in core values. It can be common if one doesn’t like his/her body now, didn’t before. Maybe said ten years ago. 4. How can you see yourself as your partner does? Explore the body and what is felt. How self compassion facilitates hot sex. Understanding and respecting brakes. The idea of having intimacy of some kind that works for you. Develop sexual creativity. Developing a personal connection around sex. Massage, nude nights. 5. Some dissociate when having sex. - feelings are flexible. - Make a choice to move toward a feeling - create a setting or a mood that would enhance said feeling. - Cultivating curiosity when selling and action state. - Deeply love and accept yourself even when you can’t get there. (cultivate self compassion). Sex Routines: Hobby sex (not a chore) - anticipation. Maybe be flirty. Looking at different aides. Thinking about it, talking to partner about it. It is not something that just happens. Intimacy can be flirty, touching etc…affection not sex. Social, emotional (talk about feelings) intellectual - talk about sex. You can be intimate during stress. You need to find creative ways. Talking, watching a romantic film, cuddling naked etc…creating shift. Awkwardly go for it. Build tolerance for the uncomfortable. Taking risks. Flirting. Non serial affection. Changing the meaning of touch. The speaker provided an example of a man who was slapping his partners butt. He was asked what was going through his mind. His response was pretty and he wants to be close. He had to adjust his touch. Get clients to express what they mean when they touch and how the other feels when received. Angela Skurtu is a sex therapist and works solely on this topic. She is on u tube where she shares with clients.