Nigeria’s Arch Bishop Ignatius. His message,“You brought Christianity to us. Now please don’t abandon us.” (Pastoral)

As you know to those who have been reading me for awhile, I like to visit different churches and if one touches me, I like to talk about it. It has been awhile, but mostly because I have been detailed to serve more often at my own church. But it was on one of my escapes that I went to St Clair Church at Dufferin and St Clair (they have a beautiful Michael the Arch angel there that inspires me (For you who have read my third book will note). It was during this escape that I learned that an Archbishop was going to be attending 10 Jun after the 12:00 mass, to speak of the prosecutions of Christians in Nigeria. Of course, I was most interested and so yesterday I attended and I am so pleased that I did. When I first looked at the man, I saw just that, a man, a black man, a serious man who did not return my smile when he glanced around at the congregation. At the end of his talk, underneath the church, after my coffee and half donut, when I looked at the man, I saw a man, a courageous man, a spiritual man with so much faith. I saw a man I would worry about because of the dangers he has and will continue to face. As you know, and forgive me for you who don’t but I do write as if I know you all and in some aspects I do, I attend many conferences, seminars, workshops etc…..I have a wide range of interests. My love is writing and my work is helping those who need it or want it. I have a Masters in Ministry and Spirituality and so I also have an interest in that department which serves me well in my practice. How often have I heard, people tell me that their religion or spirituality is often ignored by some therapists. They feel misunderstood or not taken seriously. It is important to me to have an understanding of all religions. I do not correct a person’s belief. They are entitled to believe whatever they want. Sometimes, one may want a clarification of what their religion entails; sometimes not. There are others who want nothing to do with religion. They believe it is delusional or a fantasy or wishful thinking. That is their right. Sometimes, one has suffered at the hands of a religious leader or rep and then all they have believed in is destroyed by the acts of one person. Sometimes they want help in understanding what they have experienced and how they can manage to regain control of their lives. I was very interested in hearing what Archbishop Ignatius had to say because I have also had experience with Christians who have been raped and tortured for not denying Jesus and accepting the Muslim religion. I have nothing against the Muslim religion. I think that the concept of the religion is good. I have a copy of the Quran in my office shelf. I also have the bible and Hindu Bahgavad. I have taken two courses from two different professors regarding world religions. I have attended lectures etc. It has helped me when I was working as an intern with patients who were dying or suffering with HIV or cancer. It has helped me with people of the various religions who have come for therapy. So when I write this, I hope it is understood as in any religion, there are always extremists. Sometimes they are well organized and destructive thinking they are better than others. They wish to spread hate, maim, torture and kill. Look at the Taliban; Isis, the kkk. Look at the fighting between the Catholics and Protestants throughout the eras. Look at what Hitler did at trying to destroy an entire race. But what I would also like for you to think about is look how we allow all this to happen. When I have a client who comes to me, I have a blank canvas with a soul. I hear the pain, the suffering, and I hear what help is expected from me. A person may be suffering physically, emotionally, financially, etc……I suggest from there what therapies I would like to try to help the person. Sometimes, they just want to be able to function, cope, be able to enjoy life again, not wanting to actually kill themselves. Sometimes, this is a result of a bad marriage, abusive upbringing, bullying, etc….Sometimes it is succumbing to the early tortures of war. Arch Bishop was introduced by an organization “Aid to the Church in Need”, I had never heard of them before. Why would I? There are so many that it is difficult to keep up. The Director of the ACN began by providing stats of the amount of Christians and Muslims there are in Nigeria. I had heard of horror stories happening in Nigeria before, but due to confidentiality I cannot share this with you. The Archbishop began with an introduction of his own personal history. Nigeria is his home. It is the size of Quebec. It had taken him 31 hours to arrive here in Toronto. He spoke of the persecutions of Christians in his county. He said that if left alone, Christianity will die. He spoke of areas where Christianity had thrived and has since died out. He said that if we allow the things to continue as it is, we will allow the destruction of Christian identity. Families, women and children are slaughtered by the Muslim extremists. He has witnessed the brutality against the Christians. At one church a truck came to diffuse a bomb. The truck was stopped prior to getting into the church. Fourteen people were killed, but many more would have been so, if the truck had not been stopped. The Archbishop stated that there is a need to support the churches who are under prosecution. If we do not know what is going on in Nigeria, we cannot sympathize or have empathy. Not too long ago two priests and the parishioners were killed in their church in Northern Nigeria. “You come with your weapons and spray bullets to remove good.” The bishop spoke of a young girl. She is 14 or 15 years of age. Her name is Lia. She has not been released with the other girls who were kidnapped (I had heard of many young girls being kidnapped in Nigeria). She is the only girl who refused to denounce her religion and accept the muslim religion. The Archbishop reports that there are many who suffer because they are Christians. He looked at us and said,” As you are baptized, you are a missionary. I am here on behalf of Africa and say thank you.” He let us who were there know that they are in terrible danger. He said that the Muslim sect in Nigeria believes that the Western Life is corrupt. Families are being killed who do not even know what is going on. Religious processions now have to be limited because of clashes with the Muslim sect. Christians and Muslims live on opposite sides of each other. Archbishop Ignatius said it is hard to do pastoral work under these conditions. He said he comes from a small tribe. He spoke of the Muslim sects coming in 1804 who began to attack the local tribes. The Archbishop’s tribe went to the mountains and remained there until 1892. I listened to the Archbishop as he spoke of his house being destroyed and all their vehicles. He spoke of getting together with non sect Muslims to promote a better relationship. “Muslim youth see the need to work in peace and harmony.” Since the Jihad, things have not been the same. They want to spread Islam and that is where there are problems. When Sharia law was introduced it was meant for Muslims not Christians. When the cartoon artist (I remember hearing about that on the news) was killed for his depiction of the religion, many Christians were killed as a result. The Archbishop reported that young Christians want to take up arms, but that is not the mission. He wants the government to help. He wants prayers for change. He spoke of St Paul, the prosecutor who became the defender. He spoke of churches being full even though they know they can be killed going or/and their church being blown up. His mission is to provide hope. “With your prayer and support we need. You brought Christianity to us so don’t leave us alone.” Questions from the audience: Do the police protect? Is the UN taking any role? Is their support from Europe? Answer: Police - They say police is your friend but not in Nigeria. They themselves are not equipped. He runs. When they see danger, they don’t go. It has to do with bad governance. The police have to beg for resources. The UN (United Nations) talks a lot but I would like to see more action. Leaders of the world speak with grandeur but are not much help. Most of the support comes from Europe, especially from the people - poor people. But that has changed. People have become wealthier and are not willing. When Muslims say they are attacked, the Middle East provide assistance with weapons. There is nothing to defend. If Christian leaders spoke out, they would listen, but they don’t. The Archbishop reported that more needs to be done, than providing the government with funds. “They drive big cars but don’t do much for the trafficking of women.” He spoke of how money may be spent on travel for the politicians while people remain hungry with no electricity. The Archbishop has started a centre inviting Muslims as well as Christians to think and plan together without compromising faith. At the end, I approached one of the organizers. “Is he safe?” I asked, already knowing the answer. He shook his head with a worried look on his face. “You know, they had a team of police with weapons to escort him, but he was with a group of children and when the children saw the police descend their vehicles with their weapons, the children scattered and ran. Ever since he has refused security for himself. I approached the Archbishop. “I will pray for you.” I said sincerely. “We shall pray for each other” he replied. If you wish to donate or get further information regarding Aid to the Church in Need. Their address is Aide a l’englise en detresse Inc. Aid to the Church in Need Inc. CP 670 SUCC H. Montreal, QC H3G 9Z9. The pamplet provided indicates that the mission is to aid to the church in need, founded in 1947 by Father Werenfried Van Straaten, Is a Pontifical charity which has a mission to provide assisstance to Christians wherever the Church suffers from poverty or persecution. The foundation operates offices in 23 countries including Canada, who together support Projects in over 140 countries. I hope people reading this understand that the Islam religion does not endorse what is happening with these fanatics. There is also a cultural element to remember. An old professor of mine who is a Jesuit priest told me an interesting story. He spoke of a Catholic priest who was beaten up by Christians in a very poor area in the Philippines. A Muslim man came and picked up the Priest and carried him to his home where he mended him back to health. I would like you to remember that story. What do you think?

The Internet Murders

I have missed a week of writing to you and I am sorry. I have been somewhat busy but I know I owe you a few blogs. Just in case I continue to be busy, I want to update you on my website. www.silvaredigonda.com. I have secured the site and you should see a lock when you buy a book or ebook. If there are any problems please let me know. I have joined a book association, which is a first and so on the 23rd of Jun I shall be in Woodbridge selling my three books and possible conducting a reading. I have just finished reading my third book again and will copy and paste segments of what I have decided is ok to read to the general public. I have a few swear words here and there and some religion thrown here and there and so to make it more user friendly to children etc...I will forward it soon to the organizer. I have about 10 minutes to read and one thing I have learned from going to readings myself (which I hate to admit, I find boring and only go when I have to), I don't want the audience to fall asleep. I don't even know if this is open to the public. I should focus more on selling my books. I do love writing them, but it is not practical to write them and not sell them, so I have to find more time for that. If you live in Toronto, you may also buy any of my books at Sqibb's at 1974 Weston Road, Toronto, just North of Lawrence Avenue, on the West side. There is a farmers market just South of Lawrence where the Go Train is. So, if you want to make me happy why not buy one of my books or ebooks. What do you think?

The Royal Wedding

I tape everything I want to watch on television and that included the 7 hour program of Prince Harry and the new Duchess. I did wake up at 336 in the a.m. I looked at the time, thought for a second and laid my self right down again saying no and falling fast asleep. When I re-awoke at a decent hour, I made coffee and sat myself down prepared to see the wedding. It was the first time, I actually taped a royal wedding. I had caught glimpses of others, mostly on the media news. However, this one was special. I had been at the gym a few days earlier, and an elderly woman was remarking on how horrible it was that the bride to be was divorced. I thought she would blow a casket if I had informed her she was also bi-racial. I wasn’t in the mood to provide first aide so I reminded her of what century it is and that I was really going to the gym to relax and not listen to hatred remarks. She attacked me later but that is ok. I have big shoulders and am very secure about myself. I could have been gentler but I do tire of hearing about hatred because I see how many people suffer because of it. I also realize that silence about hateful views only allows it to fester and grow. As I was drinking my coffee and watching the program I had wished that I had taped an alternate channel, but it was too late. The commentators were talking over each other and trying to guess what everyone at the church was saying. It was their own sarcasm rather than actually trying to know. It was as if they were trying to fill in 7 hours of talking regardless of what the content was. There would be a remark about one person and another was actually being shown. Then the worse happened. One commentator began talking about how many or lots (whatever that subjectivity means) of Londoners who are not happy and then tv silence (thank God). She never was permitted to pour forth hate. I was thankful vowing never to tape anything important from this network again. That evening I taped the afterward comments from an American channel. I marvelled at this wedding. The bride was beautiful and the groom enchanting. I saw two people in love and it was wonderful. The bishop from the States gave a splendid talk. He spoke of Martin Luther King and Teilhard de Chardin, my favourite Jesuit, whom I enjoyed studying. Both men gave so much, and Martin Luther KIng - well I wished he could have seen this wedding. Perhaps he did from up above. Though one commentator remarked that 14 minutes was too long or words to that effect expecting a response. An eloquent response was provided from the sole male commentator. He said the Bishop had a platform and was provided with an opportunity. I agreed. His strongest message to me was - love. It is often one of the questions I ask in couple therapy. Is there love? When there is, I am pleased that I have a couple who really want to make their marriage work. When there is not, I work with the couple to try to re-capture that essence. Sometimes, it is re-ignited and sometimes one partner does not really want to work on the problems. Sometimes there are ulterior motives. However, on this day, as I sit drinking my coffee and heating up some scones (I do love high tea), I marvel at how love can indeed bring couples together and families together and countries together. I am savouring the power of love. I am marvelling at the leadership of the Royal family. They have taken a stand. They have united cultures and said good bye to prejudice. I listen to my favourite “Ave Maria” and I silently dance to “Stand By Me”. I am revitalized. I watch the facial expressions of the audience and I chuckle. I listen to the bishop and I chuckle. I actually chuckled frequently and I marvel at the crowds who flock for what appears to be endless rows. I doubt there are any haters within that happy crowd. I applaud them, because I could not even roll myself out of bed until a proper hour. Had I been able to, I would have gladly attended one of the royal celebrations in Toronto, who provide of course a proper “high tea” (I cheat and insist on coffee. So far it has always worked.) In my third book, I mention high tea. I could easily have high tea every week or bi-weekly if there was something around the corner. Excuse me for dwelling on high tea. This Royal wedding, promises change and therefore hope, that love can accomplish so much and that love is so much more powerful than hate. I wish this couple so many good wishes. I wish the duchess a long and happy life with her prince and of course - Long live the Queen.

Tid bit stats dementia

I attended a meeting last week where a representative provided an hour talk about dementia and Alzheimer’s. I found that there were some discrepancies regarding natural aging and dementia and I only spoke out politely providing resources when I saw some from the audience looking confused and worried that they may have dementia. I will only provide the statistics that was relayed. I have written much about the topic and you may look back at earlier blogs. One of my underground psych courses was focused on aging and the natural changes. Feel free to look all that up. I know I am behind on school notes but I think it is also important to relay the latest information as I receive it during conferences etc….. I have much to write about so please bear with me. Due to some of the errors I noticed from the speaker, I will not be revealing who the speaker was or the organization. Suffice to say that was no affiliation to a university. 47.5 million people world wide suffer Reversable : delirium, depression, thyroid or heart disease, drug interaction, alcohol abuse, malnutrition. Irreversible is Alzheimer's disease, vascular dementia, Pick’s disease, Lewy Body Dementia; patient will continue to decline. Hereditary for dementia is 5%. One in 11 people over 65 have Alzheimer’s and other Dementias. 15% are under the age of 65. Numbers are expected to double or triple. Next I will like to write about what I heard at the Deerhurst Resort. I was very impressed and I went a long way to hear a Psychiatrist and Neurologist speak about the brain and creativity. Of course though Muskoka is a long way for me, there were quite a few people from across Canada and some from the States. Have a wonderful week. www.redigondapsychotherapy.com www.silvaredigonda.com (I write for fun. There is no connection to my practice.)

Police and other emergency response persons - conference - PTSD continuing from last post

Another ex policeman who worked 30 years in homicide had a caucasian father and aboriginal mother, whose father consistently insulted. After all those years on the police force, he ended up homeless, living on the street, suffering from PTSD. He was addicted with alcoholism. He had a “parasite on my soul”. He ended up in jail. He stated that he sat in jail and sat with God, PTSD and addiction, “chest ripped open” to become the man he was meant to be. He had time to reflect. He began looking for the humanity he had lost. He did his time. He did his 12 steps with AA and began volunteering. He said that when he was homeless, he saw ex military men and ex emergency personnel also homeless. He said that homeless men deserve help like everyone else. Today he no longer lives homeless. He has food and he has heat. He is also an elder. Another ex policeman went on stage with his service dog. He stated that 33% of the police force out West suffers from PTSD, 1/3 of the force. There was a Registered Nurse from Muskoka who talked about mental health days at school where discussion occur regarding mental health. She remarked about parents not allowing their children to attend, citing that there are no mental issues in their homes. Two more ex police went on stage and spoke of having to shoot men on duty. They spoke of suffering from moral injury. One said that when he joined the police force, he did not go to work to kill people. “I never realized how heavy this uniform was until I took it off.” They were considered heroes and didn’t like being labelled as such. It is difficult living with a decision to kill - a moral injury. It took six years for one to be exonerated. He stated that as a Roman Catholic, killing a person is a mortal sin and he struggled with that. The man who had killed had been unarmed though he believed he was armed. It was during a robbery. After that, he was afraid of making decisions at home. He could not even decide on a menu. It was easier to make decisions at work because of the structure and rules. At home, it is different. It was when the mother of the man whom he had killed forgave him, which he will never forget, that helped with his healing. There is a constant struggle for positive self care. Another spoke of a responding officer, attending to an officer who had been stabbed and was dying. He was never helped because he had been from another area. “You don’t want to go for counselling. You will be a wimp.” A man from the back of the room, who is not an emergency responder but does have a career outside the norm, spoke out that it is difficult to be without a soul. It was an interesting conference where there was much suffering. However, there was also a lot of hope. They are on the right path. They have all received help and belong to a support system. A policewoman spoke of arranging a group to provide care packages for a local police station. I thought that was a wonderful gesture. The conference was not held in Toronto. I often hear complaints about the police on the news in Toronto. There are groups who protest against them, and they sometimes lack a strong support system that they need. Too many forget that police are men and women who mostly try to do a job of serving the public and deal with situations which in a second can change not only the lives of others but their own. They are not robots who do not feel pain and sorrow. If you are an emergency response person and you have had to face a difficult situation, get the help you may need. If you appreciate what an officer has done for you, why not organize a small token of appreciation. Even a thank you goes a long way. What do you think? Please feel free to express yourself. There is a “Camp F.A.C.E.S” A camp for Families and Children of Emergency services. To learn more check out www.campfaces.ca. Thank you for reading my blogs. Have a peaceful weekend.

Police and other emergency response persons - conference - PTSD

I attended a conference I found, not associated with any of my regular conferences/seminars. As you know I have an interest in emergency response persons. I did reach out to this organization however I was asked to see a person once a month for free and then to refer the person. I cannot do this. It is contrary to the expectations of my college and to my own values. I do see people for consultations and charge them. However, I was interested in knowing more and so I attended a day long event which did prove interesting. They did have a therapist with a doctrine in education speaker talking about PTSD. The therapist talked about PDSD and used fluffy toys to demonstrate the parts of the brain. This probably has something to do with her working with children. In one of my undergrad courses I had to memorize every section of the brain, its’ function etc. There was actually many more courses with a focus on the brain. It was not until I graduated and attended seminars that I always marvel at how the brain is discussed. I have heard the term big brain and little brain and now fluffy toys. Just saying. It is no wonder people get confused. I normally just cringe. What I did not hear that day is that PTSD is a physical response. The speakers were all retired, ex -civilian police who have PTSD. I had to marvel that each could speak to an audience and tell their stories. I will not reveal who they are or what forces they belonged to. It was not asked that we not reveal anything, but I want to respect that just the same. I will tell you that who I met that day were various emergency persons from rural and urban areas. One person in attendance came from Manitoba. I am always amazed at how far people will travel for one seminar or conference. However, that just tells me how much we need to expand services more. One policeman spoke of being shot three places; suffering PTSD, He spoke of going to another police force which he said is common, but with that transfer, one loses support from where he comes from. He indicated that there is no actual support for police as there is for veterans. Another from an urban area talked about how he responded to a call indicating a suspect was armed. The suspect was killed and though he knew he had followed procedures, he struggled with his faith, being a Catholic, “Thou shalt not kill.” He cursed God. He left policing but returned after not feeling fulfilled in another occupation. Another was a policeman investigating the abuse of children. He had to view it all, two to three thousand images of children being abused and tortured. He self medicated. He was convinced that the God he had forsaken had stopped him from killing himself. He had been full of hatred and rage. There was a quiet room at the conference where one could go if he or she felt the need to go there. One of the men spoke of having to shoot to save himself and he is now suffering from PTSD. I will write more of this next week….This week here in Toronto we had a tragedy where a person killed ten people and injured others. There is a lot of praise for the emergency response persons in this tragedy and for the arresting officer. My heart goes out to all who are suffering as a result of this tragedy. Too many lives were taken. This hurts everyone but it also depicts a city who unites and support each other. For all of you I again thank you for reading my blogs. If you ever wish to ask a question, feel free. www.redigondapsychotherapy.com

I do not endorse anyone or accept friend requests

I sometimes get a request for a job placement which is quite legitimate. However, if I ever accept any offer it must be very interesting to me. I have an interest in helping emergency personnel but I cannot do it for free or refer. There are charity locales for that. There are charity organizations who raise money for that. I have no interest in working for any business unless it is in the scope of psychotherapy and the business must be legitimate. I do not accept "friends" requests unless the person is a colleague or actual friend. I also do not endorse any company or accept any fees what so ever. I do not recommend any spa like facility in the States to anyone. So, save our selves time and cross me off the list as a potential for directing any one anywhere. For people who do seek therapy do check that the persons you see or seek services from are legitimate. I was watching a program a few months ago (market place?) where they were showing that degrees were being sold including degrees for PHD's from non existent universities. It is all a scam. So it is important that you check the sources. This is why the news is so important. They expose what others try to keep hidden. It is part of our democracy. The information I write here is mostly from my notes from undergrad and grad and conferences. I believe I am caught up with all the conferences. I believe some pages are missing from my last blog, but it will show up if that is so. At this point I am also writing some exercises for some therapy books. Last week I was at a hospital and talked to a volunteer who seemed young for the type of work she was doing. Normally, I see elderly women. I asked if she was working for hours. In Ontario high school students require so many volunteer hours before graduating. Initially I thought this was another way of getting people to work for free. However, I now see the benefits of a students growth and empathy. It teaches. The student said she was not working for hours but was forcing herself to get away from her studies for four hours. I noticed she was reading a book regarding 101 something or other regarding self care. She began instructing me on the benefits of self care. I did not tell her I was a psychotherapist. I did not want to deter from her willingness to share. She is an undergrad at a university (one I went to). "You want to be a scientist?" I inquired when she told me her field of study. "Yes" she replied. She was quite pleasant and I always marvel when I see such determination and wit. So, as you see I also write just about anything. I am now organzing my writings about therapy so I can produce an easy to read book about therapy. People seem to want it. However, that does take away from my joy of writing for fun which you can find at www.silvaredigonda.com. I like to write so everyone can read it. I believe in "KISS" (keep it simple.......). So, I am not here for anyone else to endorse. I am not here to accept friendships. I am here because of my work. My fun time is separate though I may write about it. I sometimes share for a purpose to demonstrate self care or other. I welcome questions regarding psychotherapy. So, since I am caught up with conferences I shall get back to my notes next week and begin alternating between my psychology notes I have not completed and theology notes. So have a good week, remember to have fun. Try to balance your life. Talk to people. You do not need to know them. Enjoy the weather and discover yourself and your place in the world. What do you think?