Update - pending workshops etc......The Internet Murders

I am pondering regarding trying to find an agent, traditional publisher or self publish again. I would say that in its self, can be a full time job which is why I always self-publish with a publisher I trust. I normally try one or two regular publishers and then submit to what I am comfortable with. I should probably try to find something before I complete my work. Also, some want you to wait for six months for a reply. Really? That can take me a life time. Others want to be the first you have submitted your work to. Than there are those who are rather rude. When I submitted my second finished work to a publisher in Toronto I got "I'll pass" as an answer. Of course I keep all the info and never send the rude ones another manuscript. However, I do not give up and I suggest for those of you with a passion do not either. This week I have attended a FSNA meeting and I encourage all Federal retirees to join their respective branches. I am the Assistant Benefit Health officer in Toronto. Though I do not believe in volunteering, I sure do a lot of it. This is one of my projects since it was time to give back. This week I will also be attending another Grief seminar. I have written about grief before and will be giving you an update next week. I live in an amazing city where all the education, seminars etc....are here in abundance so it makes it harder to leave. Last year at the same Grief seminar there was a woman attending from South America. I find it amazing that one attends a seminar for a morning from another country and that is because for me it is a simple drive. Next week I will also be attending a five week (2 hour weekly) work shop regarding aging and memory. It has been over ten years since I took such a course as part of my undergrad degree so I am curious to see if there are any changes or updates. This course is open to everyone regardless of education and it brings me back to my undergrad university. It is always nice to see people I know there. I am also taking a weekly crafts workshop at a community centre that I love. Balance is important in life. I have a rewarding career where I help people and self care is very important. So, I hope you consider finding a hobby you enjoy, learning something new, and spend time with people. Isolation is not healthy. If you are unhappy in your work, perhaps it is time to look for something new,if you can. What do you think? Silva

Finished the "Internet Murders"

I would like you to know that I have now completed my book. It is about 172 pages now. I have re-edited it a total of four times. I do hope to have it published before September. Wish me luck. Feel free to order my books on line at www.silvaredigonda.com. I am always eager to hear what people think of my books. Some love my humour and others really do not. Remember that nothing I have written has anything to do with my practice. I write for fun. I do believe I improve with each book. You be the judge. I can now continue to alternate from psychology to theology. Thank you for your patience and sorry for the delay.

Sacred Relics Of The Saints: Treasures of The Church

I attended a teaching and exposition of Sacred Relics provided by Father Carlos Martins of the Companions of the Cross. I learned that there are three classes of relics which I was unaware of and I do hope he used the word class since I was not taking notes. The first is the flesh and/or bones of the Saint. The second is a piece of clothing which belonged to the Saint and the third is something that has touched the first or second. He talked about the incorruptibles and depicted a photo of a nun who died in the late 1800 hundreds. Her body has remained intact as she was when she died. Father Carlos stated that the church had hired a French scientist who was an atheist to examine the body. The scientist reported the smell of roses when he cut an opening to her body. There was no decay. When he examined an organ, fresh blood poured out. His results were inconclusive. There was no explanation how this was possible. It is interesting that after this he became a Catholic. Father Carlos spoke of miracles occurring after his events of the people touching the relics. He is recording the miracles and I do hope he writes a book and that there is a research study for these amazing events. He spoke of one man rising from his wheelchair and being able to walk again. He spoke of a child who was cured of cancer. I began to think and wonder is this hysteria? Is this a placebo effect? I always question. There were 204 relics, 184 which has been authenticated. The oldest relic 2000 years old. After the lecture I walked to the front of the church to touch the relic of Christ’s cross. I also touched the relic of Mary’s dress. I descended into the basement and there on tables were the many relics. I touched each one. There were relics of saints I did not know and then there were relics of famous saints. I do think that this is a must for every Catholic to see. I also think that this is good for everyone to attend, skeptic or not. There is so much we do not know or understand. I like to keep an open mind, yet question. I do know that attending this function had me overwhelmed. For more information check out www.TreasuresOfTheChurch.com. Father Carlos travels throughout Canada and the USA. I believe he travels world wide. He also depends on donations for his work and I will certainly donate.

Happy Easter

Give me a reason to celebrate and I am there. However, Christmas and Easter have always held a special meaning to me. It is the time of the year that I take a break to relax, reflect and spend time with those who matter to me. It is also a time to reach out to those who may have no one in their lives. I like to give out chocolate and cards to people to just let them know that they are valued. I wish you all a wonder Easter. Next week I have to continue editing my book, do some research, read and work. I am pleased that I don't really consider my work, work. I wish you all peace in your lives. I hope you get to spend Easter with those who care about you and value you. What do you think?

Rough week for the world

It has been a tough week for the world. The horrific attack on helpless civilians especially children and babies in Syria is incomprehensible. Yet, that prompted Trump to destroy the airfield where the substance was sent from. Having dictators that abuse and cause such harm should be abolished in this era. It is no surprise to me that there are countries that stand by this dictatorship as they have much in common. My prayers are to all who have suffered and in Sweden too. I try to refrain from politics, but I am also aware of the devastating long term emotional turmoil this has on the survivors. In a country where so many have fled from their countries to live in a democratic county, carry the wounds of where they are from. Some manage to find solace and move on but many continue to suffer as they watch their country of origin continue to abuse and destroy. I always encourage to find a support system to share your stories and if you need more get it. There are charitable organizations who offer support and counselling if you cannot afford it. In a world where there is so much suffering because of extremists, greed and hatred, I know that we also have a beautiful world. I urge people who suffer to rediscover the beauty of nature and to surround yourself with positive and caring people. Hope is very powerful. I have often heard people ask me why? Why does this happen? Where is God? I too puzzled with this question in school once and the response was an obvious one to me. "We have free will." We have the free will to cause harm to be beneficial. We have the free will to love or to hate. We have the free will to be better. We also have the free will to ignore what happens in the world or we have the free will to do something about it. On a lighter note and back to my own reality, I have to re-read my third book one more time. That will be four times. Though my book is fiction, I learned something from someone that I used in my book. This was retracted so I must now re-read everything to amend what was written. However, a friend at dinner made a positive comment. Since I had left the book aside thinking it was completed, I could begin fresh. He is correct. So this will be the final editing. I have read two interesting articles, one about dreams and another about suicide which I will be sharing with you in future blogs. Next week I am hoping to provide information pertaining to veterans. Thank you for reading my blogs. Excuse the delay about my school notes, but be assured I will continue to write. What do you think about what is going on in the world? Does this sadden you? Have you been affected by violence of any kind? Have you been a support to someone who has been violated. What have you suffered? Have you found a way to cope and to enjoy life? Why not? What has worked for you? Find your own nook where you can find peace. What do you think?

Finished Third book, "The Internet Murders"

Well I read the Internet Murders one final time with more amendments, corrections etc....This is more than I have done for the first two before sending it out. My book is not published yet. I have a few routines which I recommend for you too so no one steals your own creative writing. I mail a manuscript to myself, with my initials on the envelope at the seal. I enjoyed writing this book and I recommend for you to find something you love that makes you happy. If time permits I will try to find a publisher for this one. You can always self-publish. Making money writing books is not easy unless you are Stephen King etc......However, dive in and do it. There is nothing like seeing what you have written in book form. I will probably not have an ebook this time, because of people re-selling it without permission. I am also not giving any out anymore to organizations for the same reason. People should write their own books to sell. Anyhow, now I have to read a book for work and then I will dedicate some time to read for fun. I am reading a book by James Peterson right now but am hoping to read more in longer sittings. Next week I will return to providing my notes once again alternating from psychology to theology. In the meantime, ensure you have time for yourself to do what you love. Thank you for reading my blogs. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I do love to attend book readings and accept all invitations within reason and according to my schedule. I also provide talks regarding psychotherapy and couple/family therapy. Enjoy your week. Take time to relax. What do you think?

Pastoral/ friendship/ church and struggles

This past weekend I went to spend sometime with a previous colleague. Once a year we get together at her place or mine, that was until she could no longer take pills for allergies regarding my beasts. You see she was given a death sentence with two years to live - cancer. Now I sleep overnight at her place a tad more, as we celebrate life. Saturday night as we caught up over an amazing salmon dinner, vegies and rice and Italian pastries I had bought, we talked and talked. I told her that I felt like I was on holidays. I love her home. It has huge windows and there is privacy with long cedar trees blocking the rear neighbours. She has a comfortable big easy chair which has its’ own built in fridge. There is also a Spanish type gas fireplace which offers a spa like experience. Her home offers a serene atmosphere which is what a person who is suffering with cancer needs. We all need that. The chair would never fit my living space in Toronto. It would only make the room look crammed - perhaps one day. When I went over Saturday after work, I placed my overnight bag on the floor. She immediately noticed my book. “You brought work”. I agreed saying that if she was tired, I could read. We talked and talked and talked and then I went to my spacious guest bedroom with my own bathroom. I have never slept in such a dark room. I am not sure where her room is but she never heard me make all the noise, taking a shower, flushing toilet etc……. The next morning I awoke, grabbed my book and began to read (study) where I had left off last. I am reading, “Asperger Syndrome in Adulthood, A Comprehensive Guide for Clinicians by Kevin P. Stoddart and others. I am at the moment doing as much research regarding Autism as possible. Did you know they have a lot of programs for children but I could not find support groups for adults, nor for spouses? I have told you before that I could not find support for certain groups. We have a lot further to go. Anyhow, my buddy wakes up and exclaims that she never realized I was already awake and ready, as she could not hear me. I wondered where her room was, but never asked because we became animated in conversation again. After drinking my coffee, I asked where the closest Catholic church is because I wanted to go to mass. She responded that it was just around the corner and she would come with me. I was surprised because she had not been to church for years after she had been disturbed by an occurrence at her church and she was not satisfied at how it was dealt with by the Pastor. They had argued and she never returned. I told her I was surprised because there had been a lot of changes in the church. She explained that it had been a long time ago. We took off to go to church and realized that we had got there too late and so drove around in my car to check out the down town area which was close by. I thought it was cute but when we found a coffee shop it was time to return to church. We sat at the front. As I have written before, when I do not serve at my own church, I like to attend the different churches in Toronto. I love to see the architecture, the ambience and listen to the range of sermons given by different priests. I may return to one church, but mostly I keep roaming. It was a priest in my class in grad school who used to do that and he gave me the idea to explore the churches as well. We are in church. There is the routine readings, singing, and prayers and then it happens. The young seminarian gives his lecture. The pastor is beaming approval and I am cringing, worried that my buddy will never return to a Catholic church again. The reading that he was using as an analogy was the Israelites being brought out of slavery to the promise land. They were complaining. Then it began. His sermon is something like this. He expresses that people are always complaining. They complain about priests, they complain about etc…….He states that a woman came to his office saying she wanted a husband because soon she would not be able to have children. He suggests without saying it the first time that it is menopause and that later does say menopause. He says that she then gets married and complains about her husband saying he is lazy. I am horrified. He is waving his arms and is loud. I want to get up and leave but don’t. I am looking at the pastor that is smiling approval. I am thinking of my buddy who has had such a struggle with cancer who never complains being forced to listen to such nonsense after not walking into a church for neons. So the priest goes on endlessly about women complaining about men and then states that a man complained about wanting a wife and looked on the internet. I then found myself blocking him out. I no longer heard him. I just heard loud noise. At the end I suppose he summarized complaining. I was grateful when the mass was over and approached him. I told him that I had never had to sit so long listening to a man complaining. I suggested he take a few courses at a particular college, near his. He smiled and was very courteous. My buddy was right behind me but did not hear what I had said to him. I explained. She said that while he was giving his sermon, she looked around to see the expression of the people. She thought it may have been a cultural “thing” as no one seemed to react. She continued that she didn’t think he had said it with malice. She felt he had kind eyes or words to that effect. I pondered. Yes perhaps he didn’t know any better. I had said a prayer for him for compassion and humility. He was young, a seminarian and he had in my opinion a poor mentor. I was disturbed by the sermon. My buddy said that he had talked about men complaining about women. “But he did it with women first.” I stopped hearing him before that without realizing I had. I told my friend that when I was a student I would say that a person is suffering in the forest. There is inner turmoil and confusion, but there is hope for the promise land as they journey from enslavement towards freedom. I had already talked about priests being human and not God. They are working in service. They come with their own biases, their own intrinsic cultures, their different level of education and the various orders. She states that the mass would be optimum if they removed the sermons. She then states it would be good if they just provided instruction of the faith. She then adds that I am right. They are only men. I suggest that she goes to another church. I suggest that getting the oil of the sick may be good for her. I know Catholicism is engrained in her. She states that she is like me. She has had wonderful experiences with priests throughout the years. She asks me what I think about the Anglican church and I explain the differences. They don’t have a pope and communion is a symbol of the last supper while we believe that the priest has the power to turn the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. She considers that and then asks about a certain order of the Catholic Church. I am not too familiar I respond except that it is Eastern. I had already explained some differences earlier. We both leave it at that. We go off to have high tea in a country town and she becomes upset because so many stores have closed. It is becoming a ghost town she fears. She enjoys the high tea while I think it is probably the worse I have had. I am spoiled in Toronto. Anyhow, it becomes a full day and I drop her off to return home, after a few more stops to boost my curiosity. I buy chocolate - swiss. As I park my car one of the teens say hi to me. She is holding a hockey stick. “You guys playing hockey?” I ask. I see the group of girls in the driveway. She nods and I beam. “Good for you!” I am happy that girls know that they can do anything with their lives and that means playing and working in prior male dominated roles. These girls won’t be jailed for driving a car in Saudi Arabia. They will become the politicians, scientists etc….. tomorrow. They will be on equal footing with all that life offers. That is what they are learning and that is their promise of opportunity. I have found that many have struggles and suffer because of what they have experienced. Some have moved away from their churches because they have been bothered by one minister or priest etc……To some, religion has become a dirty word and they find themselves distinguishing spirituality from religion. I sometimes ponder if spirituality is actually becoming a religion as I notice that the same structures become in place. What do you think? Now I do have to do some more editing today! It’s coming along.