Critiquing my books

One evening I was approached, while minding my own business and coming out to the front of my house to see, if I could breathe the air, with the humidity lingering. I was approached by an elderly man who has bought both my books. I had not seen him in quite a while. When he read my first book he was all gushy about it. My second book did not get that warm and fuzzy feeling. "So, what did you think about my book?" He avoids eye contact as he replies, "I didn't read it." I remember when he asked to buy my book, he immediately opened it somewhere in the middle and began to read, immediately commenting on the passage. "I have been too busy." It always kills me when people who are retired tell me how busy they are, that they cannot find the time to do things they want. "I am writing myself." "What are you writing about?" I ask. "About an older man in relationship with a younger woman." He replies. I respond, "Wishful thinking?" I ask. Denial comes across. "Why don't you write about your time in the hospital? Why don't you write about your patients. You should write about something you know." I respond, "I don't want to." "Why?" he asks. I respond, "Because I write for fun." I didn't add that when I write about truth and not imaginary characters I have to be mindful that I am not breeching confidentiality. I need to ensure that the privacy of people are protected, but I am not going to get into all this, because in honesty, I do write what I want and not what others want me to write. Hence, the benefits of a free country. He continues, "When I write, I write a sentence and then I rewrite it many times. I can do other things as well. I taught creative writing you know?" I wondered for the first time what kind of creative writing did he actually teach? He is not a professor. I thought of my own experience. My major in my undergraduate was psychology. At York University there was no fooling around. It was nothing to have an exam where over a hundred multiple questions were asked in a limited time. I remember a few students going into a panic and cry during the exam. They had to be calmed down before continuing. I always thought I must have failed. The questions were so close for answers and you really had to know your material. After the first exam there was a loss of half a class or less. Many students dropped psychology and went into sociology. It was tense but I loved psychology. "You are psychology" a Phd student who tutored me for the math portion once told me. "You must continue in psychology." However, did not want to do research and unlike the States there was no other option at the time. Sometimes, I toy about doing my Phd in psychology, but I pause and wonder if I want to pay tuition for the rest of my limited life. I am still paying. As I am talking to this elderly man who notices my nail polish and comments on my toe nails, I wonder why he does not want to admit that he has read something in my book, that has annoyed him. His remark about writing about something that I know amuses me. He has not spent one day in the military. What does he know? Projection? I love writing. I could never imagine re-writing a sentence over and over again to perfect it. That would be work and when I write, I am not working. I am having fun. My audience is not composed of scholars. My audience is every day people educated or not, smart or not, nice or not. Can I write using big words that no one really wants to look up? I remember one female who had read a copy of "Hey Guy Buy Me." She had borrowed the book from her brother. She hissed and spewed that I wrote as if I am talking. She didn't mean for me to take it as a compliment, and if she knew she actually pleased me, than she certainly would not have said it. When I applied for a break from psychology to take an elective in creative writing, the professor said that the class was full. He later attended my place of work and told one of my colleagues that he had room for one more student and I was accepted. I was extremely happy, the paperwork shortly followed and I really enjoyed his course. He could be very tough when he didn't like how someone wrote. I was fortunate. I also understood his points. People come from different places and are a product of everything they have been exposed to. Sometimes what they read will trigger something in them. My first book took two months to write. Obviously it is not a master piece. It has more errors than I would like, but it was my first book. My second book is my biography. It is history and I take you on a journey with me. You may hate it or you may like it but I need to tell my story as I see it. I am being true to a younger self as I thought at the time. I fired my first editor when she said that I had my facts wrong. Tell me what is wrong, not that it is wrong. I never knew what it was because that would have cost me more and by then, I felt I was being taken advantage of. So, if there is something wrong, I haven't been advised of that from any of my readers so far. So, I returned to my publisher who I like and trust. I do not have the patience to send my writings to different publishers etc.....I write for fun and if I break even as I hope to do with my second book and am sure that I will (only a matter of time) than I am ok. When I wrote my first book I did go to the bookstores and they wanted about 45% for each book. I cannot do that now. I cannot afford a distributer, an agent etc... Now I have an ebook and that opens another door. That brings in more revenue. I am using a different approach. I have not sent this book out for reviews; not yet. I know that this book will provoke emotions. I didn't expect it from my first book, but now I know better. People loved or hated "Hey Guy Buy Me". Women who let men in their lives read it made comments such as I was telling men what to do, who did I think I was etc...I even had a minor league stalker for a little while. I put a stop to that real quick. I learned much more from writing my first book and publishing it than I did in the two months of writing it. I am always learning and I can never say that nothing surprises me. I could never live long enough. With my first book, I received some emails from men thanking me for writing it and that it had helped them. All this from one little book. So I still have to work out my shopping cart and I will be working on my private practice and what I will suggest to you is find a passion whatever it is and do it for yourself. I have been fortunate to have had and still do have positive people in my life. I take some risks and accept challenges. I have healthy self esteem. I am not afraid to speak my mind and I have had more than a few, tell me that they aspire to be more like me, more assertive. What I suggest is to be more like yourself. Who are you? What is it you want in your life? Are people surrounding you motivating you do you feel constrained? I suggest you fly and soar and roar and be yourself. Find yourself that person or surround yourself with people who value you and love you and respect you. Do not isolate yourself because you have been injured. There are so many nice people out there. Go get your fishing rod and find some. What do you think? P.S. Forgive any errors please. I will not be vetting this 10x. or more.

25,000 fine and/or one year in jail to practice when you are not qualified - Good!

Over and over again I get emails from people who are not qualified or are not willing to co-operate with the requirements of practicing as a psychotherapist. They want financial support or other support to fight the government. Over and over again I say good thing. I fully support this. I think it is a fantastic idea. People who put up a sign and say they are psychotherpists and make a pile of money who are not qualified are crying because they are afraid of getting a 25,000 or spending a year in jail. They seem to know the penalities better than I - jail time too? If that is what it takes, so be it, Amen. The email also called drugs, "killer drugs." Tell that to the people who need it to stay alive. Tell that to people who need stabilize the chemicals in their brain. Perhaps with a tad of education you may learn about the benefits of drugs and guess where drugs come from? How about taking biology 101? I am so happy that the government has taken control that I can do happy dances all over my living room. This is so long over do. When I was asking one person before the college of Psychotherapy existed why she was calling herself a psychotherpist when she wasn't, she said that is what people understood to gravitate them to her. I would actually like to see everything regulated including fortune tellers who prey on innocence. Can there really be someone on every block who has the ensight to tell you your future for 5.00? How much does $5.00 increase to? So, I believe that the public needs protection because sometimes the public does not know and why should they? They sometimes believe that there is a system in place where in Canada they should feel comfortable to see someone who is qualified for what they profess to do. So, everytime I get an email to support people who are not qualified I will write up a little burst on my blog as a form of happy dance to encourage the public to ensure that who they are seeing is legitimate according to the law. So, please take me off these emails because I do not support pretenders. Earn it!!!!!!!

Dialing up help for veterans (30 veterans volunteering to hear you)

I am working on my to do list so I can get back to writing my third book. I read an article in the Toronto Star some time ago about veterans helping others. This is always of interest to me because I found that in my internship years I was always trying to reach out to veterans and seemed blocked for one reason or another. I have found since that veterans seeking help felt, that they too were struggling to get the help. I am not sure why. Today I called the toll-free help line 1-855-373-8387 and spoke to a volunteer. He gave me a bit of history that one veteran who couldn't seem to find help for himself, found a politician who cared and helped him with this project. Apparently they went to different locations across Canada speaking to veterans and found that their needs were not being met. I am always impressed when Veterans try to reach out to others and try to help them when the system is somehow failing. I also think that there is always hope for change especially in a caring society. This help line consists of a caring Veteran on the other side willing to hear you. You will get one of 30 volunteers. This extends to everyone. "Even the U.S.A veterans" I asked? Yes was the reply. To each and every veteran out there. You don't have to carry your burden alone. What do you think? To the families of the marines killed, you have my heart felt sympathy.

Neurological basis to Schizophrenia (Abnormal Psychology notes)

Hi, I tried to demonstate receptors below and think I failed miserable to chart it out with my computer. Hope this makes sense to you. Schizophrenics came down with the disease (ages 18 or 19 in males; females 20-23 onset of Schizophrenia). Are not as good at abstract reasoning, linguistic expression, motivational differences. Also true to lesser extent for family members) - tend to come to lower classes. Brain of Schizophrenia: Dopamine - neurotransmitter acts in inhibitor fashion - 2, 1 is substantial tact - involved in motor behavior. 2. the tract ventro - mid brain and below - limbic system part of motivation systems and frontal lobes to abstract reasoning. 1940’s drug called chlorpromazine physicians prescribed. Symptoms started to go away. What it does is block receptors or dopamine. Maybe dopamine receptors are responsible for psychotic symptoms. For dopamine - 5 receptors. These receptors don’t have same distribution in the brain. Some receptors in some places and others in other. Know these receptors neurotransmitters composed of proteins - end product of genetic expression. DNA produces RNA produces specific proteins - distribution of different receptors looked at different segments of RNA in brain to see if it produced 1st, 2, or third type of receptors. There are different dopamine receptors found in different types of the brain. Hippocampus, cortex, amygdala (fear and possible other emotions and links reward of stimulus with stimulus. So if access of DM1 receptors - will have these types of deficits functional. Some changes of smell. Thalamus - different areas; different functions. Try to hit D2 and D4 for Psychotic system without inducing all side effects that used to experience. Primary neurotransmitter is excitatory inhibitory eg. gaba - each have all receptors - Dopamine and serotonin control higher control for little local areas. Any neurotransmitters in brain is different in Schizophrenics etc. Dopamine is inhibitory transmitter - work by hooking up but not activating. Note Diagram: ________________________________________________________________ auditory hallucination 10 cycles per second firing release more than receptor sites pre synaptic 0 |________ |} 0 |________ |} 10 etc… 0 |________ |}3 0 |________ 0 |________ 0 |________ 0 |________ 0 |________ In Schizophrenic too many (above) 10 per second. Drugs bock; might block 2 or 4 or 6 (eg.) Worse of symptoms taken away; does not mean functioning properly - not going 20 but may be going 12 or 14 etc.. eg. start off with car > airplane, break down of information because too many. EEG in Schizophrenic too many receptors 6: what goes on in the brain falls. Ratio signal to noise. Large signal small noise. all have noise going on, even prior fire at specific rate resting maybe at 5. At rest this is not necessarily blank. Perhaps in a few neurones things are going on that may be noise. What happens because so much activity is going on in the brain? Lots of things on mind so something comes out at random. Schizophrenics - all things they control will be attenuated (moved down). eg. radio before rock band plays - rock band louder than radio when rock band stops, radio message takes over so the Schizophrenic person thinks that is what happens. In normal person not aware of random noises. The band noise is lower. Understand how different systems work and how operate. All amino acids, all different, dopamine and norepunefine etc..All different in the Schizophrenic - miss the point. All systems are messed up. Important to understand biology and how it effects. What are the areas in the brain affected? Basic process that occurs in different parts of the brain and different receptors to different types of schizophrenics. Next topic for abnormal psychology will be substance abuse.

update books, psychotherapay, facebook etc...

I know I promised you a continuation on Schizophrenia and you will get it by the end of the week. Everything I have said I will place here, I shall. It is just usually a matter of time. I am presently transfering all my notes here that are pertaining to Abnormal psychology. The DSM has been updated but I am still placing my notes here because I believe they have merit. I have expanded to facebook, something I have resisted for a long time. However, I am only accepting invitations to people I know. I would like to open it to everyone, but not on the one I am actually using right now. I never expected to be contacted by so many people that I do know, so that is rather nice. The purpose of Facebook is because of the advice I received to get on there to sell my books. It has worked. People I have worked with in the past and others have been ordering my book, ebook on line and personally. I have not perfected the site as yet but it is getting better. When people order, I notice the flaws I need to amend. I didn't realize the benefits of catching up with old colleagues. That is very nice. They are scattered right across Canada. I am always interested in feedback so you too feel free to comment. Tomorrow, Thursday I will be in the office all day. I will be seeing a few clients but mostly I will be doing paperwork. If anyone wants to come to my office for a consult, to see it or to buy a book drop in. If the door is closed it means I am with a client.

A Text For Help (Psychology Today reports)

I read an article from Psychology Today (USA) August 2015 edition, page 12,which I would like to share with you, especially since most of my readers are from the States. The article reports that since the summer of 2013, counsellors at a Crises Text line have received and sent more than six million text messages. They answered notes from youth struggling with suicidal thoughts, bullying, depression etc…This service is free twenty four hours daily and Confidential. The number to text is 741-741. If you are feeling suicidal please see someone who can help you. There is help. Why not save a life today? Why not save your own? Call a crises centre, any professional therapist, or go to a hospital. Get help. Even though you or maybe someone you know may feel there is no hope, studies indicate that a high percentage of people who have tried to commit suicide and failed, would not do so now. Be careful to protect yourself from those who want to cause harm when you are feeling so low. What do you think?

Women and Religion - An Act of God or An Act of Man (submitted paper with portions omitted due to confidentiality)

WOMEN AND RELIGION – AN ACT OF GOD OR AN ACT OF MAN By Silva Redigonda Several years ago, before altar girls were popular a friend informed me that her priest wanted altar girls in their parish and her daughter would probably be accepted. She said the priest was contacting all the altar boys to ensure that they were not opposed to the notion. “He is asking boys permission for girls to be alter girls?” I expressed, shocked. At times it is difficult to distinguish what God wants and what the men in organized religion want. Jesus welcomed women as equals. As I studied about different religions, I realized that women seem to serve and have a place in all religions. This position is normally subservient to men. This paper will begin with the image of women in the Classical world and will depict what the Christian and Muslim religion experience is for women in the church/mosque and outside of it. This will be followed by the pastoral and theological significance of the experience of women in these organized religions. Growing up in Toronto I was offered the opportunity of equality by my parents and then by the education system. I was informed that I could do anything I wanted with my life because I was living during a time of opportunity and equality. My first hint that this may not be so was within my church when I wanted to be an altar girl. I was told I could not. When did this division of boys and girls occur? When did it begin that men were elevated by gender alone? This did not make sense to me. Let us begin during the era of the Ancient World. Here women are described as “empty-headed; vengeful, dangerous, and responsible for men’s sins; medacious, treacherous, and unreliable; fickle” etc… Men appreciated a good wife but women as a group were not well thought of.” It is clear that women were suspect and unequal to men. Women’s status in pre-Islamic Arabia was observed in the marriage agreement that resembled a contract in which a woman became the property of her husband. This lowly status is depicted in Quranic condemnations, “When news is brought to one of them of the birth of a female child, his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people because of the bad news he had! Shall he retain it on sufferance and contempt or bury it in the dust? XV1: 58-59)" One gender is not only supreme over another, one is shameful and not worthy of life. Daughters were often buried alive in their infancy. The koranic reforms forbade infanticide and required that daughters be included in inheritance. In Arabia, men also had a right of unlimited polygamy based on the male’s ability to capture or purchase women. Islam brought a shift to the status of women. A strong family theme of Islam meant recognition not only for males, but rights for females as well (Esposito, p 15). The Koran permits a man to have four wives simultaneously, though monogamy is encouraged. Many Muslim men now insert a clause, in the marriage deed, excluding the right to a second concurrent spouse, with the exception of African tribes where polygamy is still a custom (Smith, p 252). So, is Christianity superior? Not quite. The Qur’an provides no account of the creation of the first human pair that favours one over the other. The story of the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib only occurs in Muslim traditional literature in the period following the Muslim conquests. Muslim women do not have the stigma that Christian and Jewish women have, being blamed for the fall of humanity due to their primal ancestor. Adam and Eve share disobedience equally and Adam and Eve are restored to Allah’s mercy and forgiveness (Geaves, pp 225-226). Did Jesus feel that women were less worthy than men? Jesus treated men and women with equal respect. Women were among the inner group of disciples who followed Jesus in public ministry. It was also women who were particularly responsible for the financial support of the movement of Jesus. The parables of Jesus depict what Jesus thought about women as persons and in their roles in society. Women appear as key figures in the parables with equal frequency with men. There is a comparable balancing of male and females. It is ironic that Jesus is willing to be subjected to the anger of a synagogue leader by healing a woman on the Sabbath. Jesus declared the woman, a daughter of Abraham with the same status of any of his males. It is also to women who Jesus first appeared to after his resurrection (Drummond, pp 213- 214). How did Muhammad react to women? Muslim women argue that during the time of Muhammad, both men and women sat before the Prophet when he preached (Geaves, p 234). The Qur’an’s teachings about women, is “enormously progressive in their original historical context.” The legal and financial rights became dramatically advanced (Renard, 128). The Christian and Muslim Woman in the Chruch/Mosque While women comprise the large majority of active church membership, there is no sustaining force in almost every congregation. Women have virtually no power within its structure. This is dominated by men. A woman pastor is more readily accepted by laymen than by the clergy. Not only is she the pastor of his church, she also has a degree in theology, plus approval, since she is ordained (Doely, p 68). It is not the congregations who protested against women clergy in the Anglican Church, it is the male counterparts who have complained of ordained women. It is interesting that the Pope (at the time) welcomed these malcontents as Priests into the Roman Catholic Church. This is a double blow not only to women in general, but also to Roman Catholic Priests in Western Society who have a vow of celibacy. How easy it is to change the rules when it re-enforces male dominance. It has been established that women are subservient to men within the church. Does this extend to the Muslim woman? Of course, most Muslim societies segregate males and females in public. This is also found in the mosque, which remains a male’s domain. It is not uncommon for a mosque to forbid entrance to women for public prayer. Other mosques provide a segregated space for them. The majority of Muslim women pray at home. Women are therefore denied the religious equality which is central to the Qur’an’s message (Geaves, p 234). The Christian and Muslim Woman in Contemporary Society An increasing number of Muslim women are “challenging the overwhelmingly male voice of religious authority, and reassessing the roles of prominent women in early Muslim development.” (Geaves, p 224) Nowhere does the Qur’an indicate that women are to wear veils. The Qur’an indicates that women dress modestly at all times (Renard, p 129). However, the idea that all Muslim women must wear the veil is not accurate. In certain cultures it is mandatory and in others, among young and educated women, wearing the veil is a symbol of resistance and cultural authenticity or as a symbol of their Islamic identity (Geaves, p 232). Women in the Western world can wear what they want. However, some churches may request a code of dress for women. I have been stopped from entering an Orthodox Christian church where there was a claim of the Madonna statue crying. My T-shirt was considered inappropriate and I was provided with a shawl. I later learned that the Madonna mystery was a hoax. I cannot recall what the young man who stopped me was wearing because from my perspective, clothing has no significance. Culture is very important regarding how religion is viewed and practiced. In certain extremist Muslim societies, the punishment for adultery is death by stoning, a repetition of Jewish law of death by stoning, and social dancing is proscribed (Smith, p 253). A female Christian Minister who was enjoying a festivity and was dancing with joy was upset as she told her story of a congregation member making a comment regarding how inappropriate her dancing was. This particular male found it offensive that a minister would dance. Women definitely have a role in the Christian and Muslim faith. It is clear that this role is controlled not only by men, but by the culture. This subservient role that women have adopted is contrary to Jesus and the prophet Mohammed. How does this experience of women have pastoral and theological significance? THE THEOLOGICAL AND PASTORAL SIGNIFICANCE Jesus and Mohammed both liked and respected women. Women were provided with an opportunity to grow along side men towards God. Yet, somewhere this has taken a turn favouring men over women. Women are told that they have a place in the church/mosque. Some women internalize society’s norms and accept what is, as justified. It is a form of conditioning. If society is not challenged, than change is not possible. Jesus made changes and was crucified. Mohammed also made changes which favoured women, especially for his time. Yet, somehow these messages got lost. I have met one woman who said she left the Catholic Church to become a priest in the Anglican Church. Is she happier? What is the concept of communion now for her? Is it a memory of the last supper or does she believe she is receiving Christ? This can cause serious theological consequences for her if she is torn between two belief systems but belongs to one to be a priest. I have had female Anglican priests tell me that they go to the Catholic mass and receive communion. When I say that this is contrary to the Catholic faith, a debate arises. I do not understand the theological objectives in their need to do this? I ask but I am informed that it is I who do not understand that they are able to have communion without being a Roman Catholic in a Catholic Church. Since some Catholic priests have agreed with them, this misconception is encouraged. After all, I am not a priest and they are supposed to know more than I. In another situation, I asked a student during a course if she was a Catholic because of something she said that led me to believe she was. She became angry and said she was Catholic but not a Roman Catholic. I dared not ask what the difference was because her face became red and she looked furious. What could cause such anger? How does this extend to Muslim women? Muslim women I have met and have been friends with in Toronto, inform me that they refuse to wear traditional garments of any kind and adopt the customs of the Muslim culture. They inform me that wearing a veil or covering their faces, has nothing to do with their religion. They also inform me that their husbands understood their wishes prior to marriage. This has taken a toll on their husbands when they are ridiculed by their friends and co-workers of the same faith in Toronto. Subsequently, this has caused their husbands to challenge them on their clothing, considered inappropriate and too revealing. One acquaintance who believed her husband loved her, felt deeply devastated when he left her. Was it because she refused to accommodate cultural norms? I do not know. She left the country shortly afterward. In the aforementioned examples, theology and culture takes a toll not only on the women but on the men who try to support them. Men in Christian Churches as well as Muslim men agree and support women in issues of inequality. If men did not support women, change would not be possible in the religious tradition or outside of it. Pastoral significance is as important as the theological significance. How does one help and minister to women who feel that they are not respected or treated with equal importance in their church or Mosque? Being a listening presence and knowing that God loves everyone equally is supportive to women and men struggling with whatever issues they may have. (Large portions here are removed due to privacy issues. ) God is there for everyone equally and this has been taught by Jesus. Mohammed too supported women and elevated them in the society in which they lived. Yet, men still dominate and regulate the church/mosque to serve God in the manner which keeps women subservient. These norms become internalized and that makes it difficult for change. People who recognize these differences can become a source of comfort to those who suffer because of it. Women should never forget that they are no better and no worse of any man and that Jesus and Mohammad did welcome them and made changes for them. Somehow this change has been lost in translations through the ages. Men and women need each other to pro-create and raise families. How wonderful it would be for men and women to walk side by side, in peace. BIBLIOGRAPHY Drummond, Richard Henry. A Broader Vision Perspectives on the Buddha and the Christ. A.R.E. Press: Virginia Beach, 1995. Esposito, John L. Women in Muslim Family Law. New York: Syracuse University Press, 1982. Geaves, Ron. Aspects of Islam. Georgetown University Press: Washington, 2005. Renard, John. Responses to 101 Questions on Islam. New York: Paulist Press, 1998. Smith, Huston. The World Religions. 50th Anniversary Edition. Harper Collins: New York, 1991.