Spiritual Direction For Children

          Spiritual Direction For Children

  It can be debated that spiritual direction for children is as important as spiritual direction for adults. The Catholic Church offers children much of what is offered to adults through their right of passage such as confession, communion and confirmation.  However, what we have not offered our children is spiritual direction. Some children grow into adults with an unhealthy fear of God that normally is detected in spiritual direction or through their discussions with the Clergy, therapists or others. With spiritual direction devised for children we can help them from cultivating negative associations with God therefore culturing a health perspective of God.

    This paper will provide the concept for an implementation plan of spiritual direction for children.  It will recommend a starting age for children and describe the spiritual direction required.  This paper will also provide guidelines to implement the program and offer understanding of a child as she develops in this stage of childhood and religion.

     Children are creative, imaginative and curious which requires stimulation.  The objective of spiritual direction for children is not to distort their private image and their personal relationship with God but to eliminate or alleviate a frightening God whom may be stemming from the child's personal relationship with the parent or caregiver.  Once this is accomplished the spiritual director and child may continue to develop in this relationship with God.  Barry and Connolly describe spiritual direction as directly assisting individuals in developing and cultivating their personal relationship with God.  Barry and Connolly indicate that this understanding of spiritual direction, has been gradually refined by their experience (1986).  This too will occur with the spiritual direction of children.  Due to the complexity of children, a program of spiritual direction will need to be revised, challenged and tested.  Because we are dealing with children it is best to have directions with children video taped.  This may also be utilized as a tool for amendments and teaching purposes.

     Children need to be loved and respected, as do adults.  An important aspect of dealing with children is with kindness. Questions should always be answered and if a question is not known than the child should be told that and efforts should be made to provide that answer.  Questions and answers should be listened to respectfully without patronization.  Personal biases of children or personal experiences with children should not hinder what is best for the child.  Individual biases of children will need to be dealt with by the spiritual director through education and specialized training.  If each parent or caregiver of a child were efficient in dealing with children we would not have as many maladaptive adults.  Having children or raising children does not necessarily qualify in the preference for the selection and training of spiritual directors. 

 Spiritual Program

     

     Children learn naturally by playing, observing, and by association.  Four and five year olds begin to understand how other people's state of mind can differ from their own.  They realize that people, can be led astray, by incomplete knowledge, false beliefs, or misinterpretations. This discovery helps them to master many simple but essential transactions that are a casual part of social life (Mayes & Cohen, 2002).  By the time the child is six, formal education is imposed on the child.  By the age of six, children become more creative in regards to thinking and get excited about new games and new ideas (Langlois, 1999). Before age six, children often have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fantasy (Schor, 1999).  Therefore, age six or seven is a good starting point for spiritual direction to begin.

     From ages six to ten children unconditionally accept the existence of God, but may find it difficult to imagine God's presence in their own life (Langlois, 1999). Carl Jung was one of the first psychologists to recognize the significance of spiritual experiences in childhood, especially as they manifested in dreams (Gollnick, 2005).  Michael Piechowski (2001) asserts that there are a significant number of published accounts of childhood spiritual experiences that frequently go unrecognized (Gollnick, 2005). The spiritual director for children should be familiar with these concepts and recognize spirituality in the child.

     The child should be advised what spiritual direction is, and explore the spirituality of God in the form of play.  Faceless dolls or teddy bears (non-gender specific) may be used to understand how the child perceives God. Cole's "the Face of God" is very useful in determining a child's image of God. By having the child draw an image of God, the perception of the child can be visualized.  If a child thinks God is bad, than the director needs to understand why and use positive, playful instruction to move away from the negative perception into a positive one.  This process should be slow and repetitious.  If there are problems recognized, that too needs to be addressed.

     All children ask questions about God.  They want to know where God is, what happens when we die etc… (Langlois, 1999).  These are questions that will be raised and need to be answered in a way the child understands. 

     Active listening is important.  Listen to, summarize, and repeat back to the child the message you are hearing about God.  Don't just parrot what is heard but go beneath the surface to what the child may be thinking and feeling.  Spoken words may not be the true or complete message.  Example, "it sounds to me as if you are sad, scared, happy [in relation to God]. Maintain eye contact when the child speaks.  The spiritual director may show interest by the nodding of his head.  Create opportunities for the child to solve the problems she may be facing.  Encourage and guide.  Ask her to bounce ideas off you, which might eventually suggest solutions to problems.  Ensure the dialogue is positive and do not impose judgment or place blame. Praise and reward the child from time to time for listening.  Motivation to listen more and follow through may be stimulated when efforts are recognized  (Schor, 1999).  Dr William states, "Stay with your patients long enough, through thick and thin, and you'll learn a hell of a lot more than you ever expected." (Coles, 1990) This is an excellent analogy in the dealing of children with spiritual direction. In Coles' notes he relates, "Years later…I realize that the children I met were eager indeed to speak of their religious and spiritual interests, concerns, worries, beliefs...(Coles, 1990)

    A child needs to be heard.  Active listening with kindness will encourage the child to speak his thoughts about God.             

 

Method

     The setting for spiritual direction should inspire, provoke thought, comfort and offer a haven of safety to the child.      

     The setting can vary from sitting outside in a small makeshift garden, to the inside of a room in the church.  The outside will allow the child to appreciate the serenity of nature, the birds, small animals, and plants and flowers.  The inside room should be creative, serene, with a religious aura.  The spiritual director must remember that what the child sees will be associated with God.  How she is treated will also imprint how she will visualize God in the future.  Dosani speaks of safety issues surrounding children and this should be considered when setting up the room for a child.  There should be no hard edges where a child can hurt himself.  Having two clear paths for the child is also an asset (Dosani, 2007).

     The preferred setting is selected and the spiritual director is now ready to help the child grow in the relationship with God.  Hall lists points to guide children in spirituality.

·         The child needs to be encouraged to learn about God's love and mercy and God's justice and strength. 

·         Children must be given tools for understanding the complexity of God's character, rather than focusing on only one element of God.

·         Foster spiritual formation by helping the child to understand what it means to be created in the image of God.  We are made for relationship with God and relationships with other.

     (Hall, 2003) These points should be incorporated in the start of any program. These are positive tools for refection.  Following a specific guideline will ensure that there is a main theme shared by all spiritual directors.  If a child moves from one church and from one spiritual director, the lack of sameness would confuse the child as he begins to hear contradictions.

CONCLUSION

    Children in their early years will develop concepts of God that will remain with them through out their lives.  It is only reasonable that before misconceptions are cemented that children should be offered the opportunity to develop a healthy appetite for God.

     This is only a make shift template for the provocation of thought to implement such a program.   It is important that the spiritual director is learned in the development stages of the child and aware of how important the director's contact with the child is.  The director not only becomes an advisor to the child, but also a mentor and role model.  With the implementation of spiritual direction for children, the child is given the opportunity to grow with God.  Spiritual direction should continue throughout the child's life, to his teenage years where discerning will be the most challenging and into adulthood.      

     

References

 Barry,W.A., & Connolly, W.J. (1986).  The Practice of Spiritual Direction. New York: 

      Harper Collins Publishers. Ix.

Coles, R., (1990). The Spiritual Life Of Children.    Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co. 2, 37. 3. 340.

     Dosani, S., & Cross, P. (2007). Raising Pre-Teens. New York: Penguin Group. 8 37-40.

Gollnick, J. (2005).  Religion and Spirituality in the Life Cycle.  Peter Lang: New York. 74-75.

Hall, T.W. (2003). Spiritual Formation, Counseling and Psychotherapy. Nova Science Pub. 8 120.

Langlois,C., (Ed.), (1999).  Raising Great Kids: Ages 6  to 12. The complete Guide to Your Child's

      Health and Development.  Mississauga: Random House. 73, 99-115  168.

May, L., & Cohen, D. (2002).  The Yale Child Study Center Guide To Understanding Your Child.

     Yale University. 10  132.

Schor, E.L. (Ed.),(1999). American Academy of pediatrics, The Complete and Authoritative Guide.

     Caring For Your School Age Child.  Ages 5 to 12. New York:Bantam.  199-203, 235.

“City of Indonesia plans to "ban the practice of women” “'straddling motorbikes.””

     I am going to have to remember not to renew my newspaper subscription because it is interfering with the writing of my book, also, perhaps because the Toronto Sun has photos of the Sunshine Girl, but not the Sunshine Boy (it used to), or Sunshine Pet.  Also, the crosswords appear to be all from the States.  I love the States, but would they be pleased working Canada’s crosswords?  New York is my favourite city, but I don’t want to do the New York or California’s crosswords.  We spell the same words differently and we need to know our own stuff.  I remember as a child, kids thought the President was the Prime minister and what kind of crossword puzzles did they have then?  I score better with the “coffee” crosswords or the universal crosswords.  I have read this paper forever and stopped when I would get the Toronto Star for free.  Sometimes when I read the free paper 24, I also find the news more accurate than the one’s you have to pay for.  I am always surprised by the discrepancies by the different newspapers and television news.  Who am I to believe?  Is the woman who was raped and killed in India a medical student or studying to become a physiotherapist?  If it is not known, why not just say student?  If it is an error why not correct it at the next newscast?  Perhaps I have been too bombarded with the world news and perhaps I should read the paper at the end of day instead of the beginning of the day.

     Today the paper reveals, “”When you see a woman straddle, she looks like a man.  But if she sits side-saddle, she looks like a woman,” said Suaidi Yahya, mayor of Lhokeumawe in Aceh, the only Indonesian province that follows Sharia law.” (Forgive my quotations which do not perform as I would like on my cheap laptop- Apple where are you…..one day) Apparently this is to become a new bylaw.  What is even more comical is when I hear that there are communities in Toronto who would like to see Sharia law here and are trying to work on getting that approved.  It is my opinion that Sharia law is more a way of controlling women politically, than it has anything to do with religion.  How can these men run a city, let alone a country, when they are so closed minded and I am going to say it, “stupid” (oops, I am being fallacious but could not control myself this morning).

     It is no wonder that our world is so chaotic with little value placed on people in general, let alone the animals within it or the environment.  There are always consequences for all our actions.  Maybe it is time for everyone to smell the coffee.  I have had my dosage for the day.

      I wrote a paper about the Afghanistan woman in my undergrad because a speaker who was scheduled to talk at Osgoode, could not.  She had to find a replacement.  She told me that she had been warned after speaking in the States (this was before the war), that they would actually kill her, if she did so again.  Can you imagine killing a woman in my city, in my country by the Taliban?  My imagination is working overtime.  When is enough, enough?  Do wars begin because they want to protect the women and children within?  Of course not.  I will post that paper eventually, but I have to type it first.  I don’t have a scanner and I don’t have it on my usb.  Oh, well.  How does this all relate to Pastoral Counselling/psychotherapy?

    What damage does it do to women when they are prohibited to enjoy daily life, as anyone else?  What damage does it do when women question their femininity, because of what others tell them?  Short dresses for some women, make up, high heels (not good for your feet) and all the frills and glitter are great for some women some of the time or all the time.  For other women, they feel better with running shoes and track pants.  It is all okay.  A woman is not manlike because she rides a bicycle or any other mode of travel, including a motorbike.  This “Suaidi Yahya”  would not know what a woman is, if she fell on him.  Dress and deportment is a matter of taste.  I may like a man in a suit or I may prefer him in ………………Does this mean he is not a man, if he is in any sort of clothing?  What does this to the men who want to protect their wives, girlfriends, and daughters who want to “straddle their motorbike”?  When is there a point when they are threatened?  How many men have been killed?

    Have you been told you are not feminine because of the way you dress, your occupation or your mannerism?  How has this affected you?  Are you feeling demeaned?  Are you feeling inferior?  Are you feeling controlled?  What can you do about this?   If this is occurring at work, report it.  If this has been part of your culture and you are feeling weighed down, see someone to sort out your feelings and discover who you really are.  What do you think?  Men, are you feeling overwhelmed by cultural norms?  Do you know how you feel and why you feel them?  What do you think?

                 Now back to my book!

Summary of the Development of Trinitarian Dogma

Summary of the Development of Trinitarian Dogma

Silva Redigonda                                                                       Part One

     Providing an outline this particular way was due to my review of classnotes, readingings and some of the tape recording in class to date.  It fulfills instructions 1a in helping me pull it all together so that I can fulfill the task of the second portion.  This may be considered a blend of your request for my way of helping me pull it together and your request of the latter portion of a chart from scripture to Dogma.   

Outline

Who is God?  Not, what is God?

Three in one and one in three = Trinity

Tasks - Understanding and notion of Doctrines (gradually developing)

             Research – data – interpretation – some canons; some rules – meaning

                           Dialectics – differences are contradictory

                                        Conversion or not

Problem of relating to Trinity -  Thinking modern thoughts - therefore, do not think modern

1^st century Judaism – God             > therefore, if not God, created by God- eschatology –monotheism/               Not God             

  Two dogmas –   1. Mystery   2. God acts on behalf of God’s people.

 Shift 

-  over time Israel provides a shift - spirit and word.  Spirit only given to Kings and prophets.  King mediates to the nation.  Prophets guide and announce something new.    

-Duality -  Wright  (more than one divine).  Hebrew accepts other religion but it is not God.

Easter – Resurrection – we see Jesus who was dead and is now alive (reason) - Spirit poured out onto us.  Jesus is God – recognition and reconciliation of Jesus – scriptures open to us – mission.

Easter changes everything -  Jesus is God and God is Jesus – The Holy Spirit acts and God is one and one in three.  God as Father, God as Son and God as Holy Spirit.

Scripture -John to the Philippians – proposes a shift.  High Christianity vs. low Christianity

John – will not find human Jesus Christ. (word about, work of :Cross; word of:Ministry, word of human origins,  the word. Revelation – starts giving names of the Holy Spirit.  Holy Spirit has personal name.  God is on trial at a certain point.  God makes a judgement. Communion of God.  Father giving to son and the son giving to the father and Holy Spirit receives everything from the father and the son and the spirit bears witness and gives back. Obedience of Jesus, the Father and Son work together because one is obedient to the other (two can do the work of one).

Mark – (behavior) only human Jesus. The word of Jesus: Ministry – how Jesus got to the cross; Jesus performs that belong to God alone. (claim authority over law, forgives sins and drives out demons). Jesus speaks own authority.  Messianic secret. Depicts Jesus before Easter.  Who Jesus is and who God is. All things lead to Son of God. Development – mutual neutrality of Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit.

Paul -   Jesus is raised.

Luke – goes further: human origins.  Stops at Adam. One humanity in Christ. Interested in overshadowing Mary. Spirit at conception.

Mathew – interested in origins of Jesus. Focus on Israel. Jesus is Israel and reveals God. Spirit at conception. Obedience of Jesus, the Father and Son work together because one is obedient to the other (two can do the work of one).

Early Christians – story of Jesus as story of God’s own obedience.  There was no issue that Jesus was human.  The pivot  is the revelation of who God is.

1^st movement – a WAY

2^nd movement – ascribing agency (spirit becomes the subject – a verb)

3^rd movement – Luke – exploring depths of this agency. Mutuality between Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Things need to be clarified  so – Dogma

Pray text, Pray 3 in one and one and three

MOVEMENT FROM SCRIPTURE TO DOGMA

GK philosophy and culture cannot accept a suffering God.  God is abstract.  Proclamation of Christ as God is a scandal.  How to proclaim the gospel through new meaning?

Church Theologians 2^nd century   

Martyr Justin (executed in Romo circa 165) and Irenaeus of Lyons, bishop of Gk speaking Gaul (180-190)          ^                                                                         -traces of all four gospels and other NT writings. Tatian Pupil 170 created harmony of the gospels – Diatessaron

Gospel of Ebionites  - on the day of his bapism Jesus is begotten as Son of God, by the Spirit entering him (adoptionism).  Accepted by Byzantium, Theodotus the Younger and Artemon (end of the 2^nd century).

-^ rejected by mainstream church and considered heretical.   

Later second and third centuries

Monarchian school at the beginning of third century. He himself made himself a son to himself.  A Father makes a son and a son makes a father thus reciprocally related out of each other to each other cannot in any way by themselves simply become so related to themselves, that the Father can make himself a Son to Himself, and the Son render Himself a Father to Himself.

                                                                                                                           ^(argument) with God anything is possible.

 Tertullian (IN THE WEST) -  Father and Son – two different entities are needed.  I cannot be my own father or my own son.  Trinitarian counter position – God the Father implements the salvation of human beings with the help of the son and the Holy Spirit.  The Father is distinct from the son, being greater than the son, inasmuch as He who begets is one, and He who is begotten is another

Demonstrates in Praxis 11, that Monarchians have no scriptural proof

Origen (IN THE EAST)  [died 253/4} (most educated in his time [probably]) Put forward Logos theology grounded in both the Bible and philosophy – decisive attacks on Monarchians.  Like other Logos theologians, more concerned about distinction rather than unity in God.  Origen described Father, Son and Spirit as three distinct hypostasis.  Therefore, three entities with their own existence and real presence, and their distinction is expressed. He designated these three as being one. No other beings are good in themselves.  God is first and only.  All that is spiritual is eternal and only the material is transitory.  God is the creator of all.

Arius – born circa 260 – theology from the Alexandrian milieu strongly shaped by theology of Origen before him.  Dispute over Arius occurred circa 318.  If the pre existent son of God had a beginning, then he did not exist before he was begotten, created and set up.  God is therefore, true God. The Son of God is not true God, he only bears the title God.  The Son belongs more on the side of the creatures, who also came into being from nothing.  The son is so radically subordinate to the Father that in Arius’s view he cannot know the nature of the Father.  Therefore, Christology no longer a threat to monotheism. Excommunicated circa 318.  Bishops of Nicomedia and Caesarea supported teachings

Bishop Alexander of Alexandria warned fellow bishops against intrigues of Arius and followers.  Also counters Arian doctrine that the Son has a beginning.

Council of Nicaea (325) deliberations began and held in Gk. Eusebius was offered the opportunity to justify himself with a creed.  It had become customary in the dispute over Arius for opposing parties to sum up their theological views in creed.  Council fathers to work out a creed chose the theology from earlier creeds which were undisputed, namely pre-existenacne of the Arian dispute.  The term homoousios belongs in the anti-Arian repertoire of the Council of Nicaea.  Council Fathers also condemned the core thesis of Arius including that Son of God had once not existed.  Fathers also used the terms hypostasis and substance (ousia) as synonyms and did not distinguish them (poses a problem in the future).

Question  :  Are Father, Son and Spirit three distinct entities or only one was not answered at Nicaea.                       

Banished dignitaries such as Arius and Bishop Eusebius of Nicomedia were rehabilitated and had to adhere formally to the official church.

Years after Nicaea, in the east of the empire, a witch hunt against Nicene Bishops began.

Marcellus – like the Monarchians at the beginning of the third century central concern was the unity of God.  Creator God of the OT and the savior are not two Gods but one and the same God.  Moves further in the field of pre-existence Christology and confirms (against Arian thesis) that the Son really is God’s own and true Logos.  Emphasizes that the divinity of the Father and of the Son is indivisible. 

 Athanasius and Marcellus were banished to the west of the empire so that peace could come to the east.  In 337 Constantine dies there and empire is divided between his three sons.  Son Constantine allowed banished bishops to return but in due to unrest in  339 they leave.

341 – a synod took place in Rome without Eastern participation.  Verdict – rehabilitated Marcellus and Athanasius and at the same time accused the theologians of the East of being Arians.    4 different formule are associated with the Synod of Antioch.

East and West divided in church politics and theology and incapable of union on their own.  For this reason political support was seeked from Ermperor Constans, ruler of the western half of the empire.

Circa 342  council met – none of the disputants reached the theological stage which would be the binding tradition of the church decades later.  However, problems not discussed at Nicaea were now openly on the table.

351 a synod in Sirmium

350’s revival of Arianism.  This new version is also called Neo-Arianism.  Used concept of begetting to express the difference in substance between the unbegotten Father and the begotten Son.  The son is like or similar to the Father in substance.

In reaction there was a counter-movement in the East.  Emperor Constantius also anxious of Neo-Arianism rise.

357 Constantius organized a small synod in Sirmium to give discussion on a new direction.  Result: Rivals agreed on a joint text, fourth formula of Sirmium, dated 22 May 359.

New Years Eve 359/360 all present bishops in Constantinople finally signed a creed (synods 30.2-10)

362 – negotiations in Alexandria – the orthodox content of the different theologies was established.

381 – second ecumenical council – a   Synod of the bishops of the East (orientated on Neo – Nicene theology). Pope not invited.  Only one Western participant Bishop Acholius of Thessalonica.  Canon 1 which the council passed proves the bishops still recognized the Nicene Creed.  With the council of Constantinople the crises that the theology of Arius had sparked was overcome, in the East of the empire.  Canon laws. 

Part 2

    This paper will examine the dogmatic development from the end of Nicea to Constantinople II pastoral application of reflection reaching out to the spirituality within each person.

    The Council of Nicaea deliberations began in 325 and were held in the Greek language.    Council Fathers condemned the core thesis of Arius including that the Son of God had once not existed.  Fathers also used the terms hypostasis and substance (ousia) as synonyms and did not distinguish them which would become a problem in the future.  Subsequently, what was not answered is the question, are Father, Son and Spirit three distinct entities or one?[1]  We may examine the differences of  two Creeds, the Creed of Jerusalem indicates the Son of God as the only “begotten Son of God”, while the Nicene Creed” … from the substance of the Father, God from God, light from light, true God from true God, begotten not made”[2]  The difference being created and not made.  What is basic at Nicaea is what you can say about the father you can say about the son.[3] The statement that“ ‘true God from true God is also anti-Arian’ ”(Dunzl, p 56).

     Circa  342  Serdica council met and problems not discussed at Nicaea were now being dealt with.  This could have been an ecumenical council as intended but the Bishops of the East refused to take part in joint sessions with Marcellus of Ancyra and Athanasius of Alexandria were present (Dunzl, p 79).   The Eastern bishops also once again condemned,

          doctrine of there being three Gods or that Christ is not God; that neither Christ nor  

          the Son of God existed before the ages or that one and the same is Father,

          Son and Holy Spirit, that the Son; that the son is unbegotten or that one and

          the same is Father, Son and Holy Spirit; that the Son is unbegotten or that

          the Father did not beget the Son by decision and will”

                                                            (Dunzl, p80)

     The Western assembly continued to meet in Serdica.  It had two tasks, to safeguard the rehabilitation of Athanasius (had been banished to the West of the empire so that peace could come to the East) and other deposed bishops legally (Canon 3 of Serdica).  The Bishops of the West wanted to give binding expression to their faith and to publish it in an encyclical (Dunzl, p 80) .  Questions raised are: Is there only one divine hypostasis as the West taught or are there three as the East taught?  Neither the West nor East could provide a convincing answer.

     In the 350’s an unexpectant revival of Arianism also called Neo-Arianism, occurred which did not meet with undivided approval among the Bishops (Dunzl, p 89).  In reaction there was a theological counter-movement in the East which maintained the Eastern doctrine of the three divine hypostases but at the same time wanted to separate itself clearly from Arianism.  Neo-Arianism  believed that “the Son is like or similar to the Father in substance (Gk. homios Kat’ousian) One can also express the relation of the Son to the Father with the adjective homoiousiso, so in history of dogma the representatives of this doctrine are designated Homoeousians.  The two Greek adjectives homos and homoios have the same meaning and express likeness but with different nuances.  Homos can mean “like” as indentical; homoios “like” as similar.  Since two things that are like each are not identical, this is the problem.  The traditional East taught that God, the Father and God the son cannot be identical with each other, since that would be modalistic thinking, they are therefore two distinct hypostasis, each with his own ousia, individual substance.  A breakthrough  to a conception of the Trinity which would pave the way to the future and ultimately overcome the dispute over Arianism is the pioneer work by Basil the Great.  Both supporters and opponents of the Nicene Creed had used the terms hypostasis and substance (ousia) as corresponding to each other. The West and the Old Nicenes around Ahanasius of Alexandria had always started from one divine substance and at the same ti8me one divine hypostasis to safeguard monotheism.  The East spoke of three divine hypostases (three existing realities).  The two terms “substance and hypostasis” was also customary for Basil.  However, Basil learned to keep the two concepts apart due to the controversy with Arian (Dunzl, p 106).  The key basic insight that Basil has is that the Spirit has his own divine operation.  The Spirit is God.  God works the difference.[4]                

     A great moment in Church history is the negotiations in Alexandria in 362.  Here there was an understanding of opposing parties and a clarification of terminological differences.  The orthodox content of the different theologies was established (Dunzl, 106.   

 Here in pastoral terms one might be able to recognize and respect the language, difference of opinion 

---

[1] Dunzl, Franz.  A Brief History of the Doctrine Of the Trinity in the Early Church.  Trans. John Bowden. New York: T&T Clark, 2007. Page 61.  Further reference to the text will be indicated by author’s name followed by page number.

[2] Handout, Class B.  Prof  Mongeau, Gilles, Regis College.

[3] Prof Mongeau, Gilles, Classroom B, Regis College, 2 Nov 10 (class instruction)

[4] St Basil the Great, De Spiritu Sancto, Chapt 16 – 26.  Hand out  (all info unknown). Chapt 16.  Further reference will be indicated by St Basil and Chapter.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!What did you do?

Aw, New years, new promises, new resolutions, new beginnings and discarding the past. 
     I have the flu and broncitis.  So much for that walk in clinic physician telling me to be patient.  I went to see my own physician and he gave me the anti biotics I needed.  I came in close contact at parties with so many people who were sick.  Why do people not stay home when they are sick?  Why do they insist on going out and partying because it is fun?  Oh well.  My New Years Eve was spent with me laying down on the couch and one of my pets laying on my chest, which kept me warm.  However, my spew of coughing chased the pet away.  Where else would I rather be I told myself.  I spoke with kin and everyone else who called me and told me what they were doing.  I was having the quietest evening and it was nice.  My good neigbour and author came to visit me with a bottle of wine but I had to chase him away (after taking the wine) and tell him not to touch me, after he touched my face.  I was startled as he immediately put his hand near his mouth.  I hope I did not make him sick.  I eventually relented and asked him if he wanted to come in and he admitted he did not want to get sick.  So, I placed the wine on a table for another night when I am no longer under the effects of the antibodies.  Apparently these pills work for an additional ten days after stopping.  Yes, strong meds.  What I needed. 
     I spent the night alone not wanting to infect anyone and I found myself quite content in my solitude.  I dined on mushroom soup with garlic bread (It is so nice when you can eat garlic without worrying about breathing on someone) and drank gingerale like it was going out of style.  It was so relaxing.  I watched a comedy I had taped with Chris Rock in it.  It is about a young black man (Chris Rock) who dies when he is not supposed to and so heaven sends him back in the body of a 53, out of shape white man, who also happens to be a Millionaire.  I was surprised by how much I laughed.  It was sooo funny.   I also watched a bit of the festivities at Niagara Falls where I spent one weekend celebrating the New Year.  It was 2000 when everyone was expecting a disaster.  My disaster was the amount of money spent.  I also spent some time watching the festivities of New York City.  I love New York City and would not mind living there for a few years.  I have been there a few times and always felt at home.  I actually like it better than Toronto.  It is more vibrant and exciting.  I actually feel safer walking there at night.  I do not in Toronto.  I like the idea of lots of police on every block to protect us against the bad guys.  In Toronto we are on budget cuts that effects all our emergency services.  I like it in New York because there is a Starbucks on every corner.  I love Starbucks but my neighbourhood  only has Tim Hortons.  I would rather pay more for an excellent cup of coffee and service with what I have to settle for without taking my car.   You all know if you have read my blogs that I hate taking the TTC which they claim is the better way.   That is why I am resisting getting an office downtown.  Parking is too expensive; insurance is rediculous and I hate the buses and subways.
     So, I had a very quiet and relaxing night.  I have been told by my physician that in a few days I shall feel better and will no longer be contagious.  Hurray!!!  Then I can plan a small party.   I do love parties.  Only my closest will be invited and some kin for sport.  Just kidding.  Family is important to me.  I just have to make sure that I have enough chairs and room.  At my last party, I asked my brother in law why not take a seat.  He replied that there were no chairs.  That is why I am keeping this party restricted to people I really really like and care for.  Some are bringing their own chairs and the rest I will borrow.
          What did you do New Years?  Did you go party which I normally love to do?  Did you spend it with family at home?  Were you happy with how you spent it?  That is the key.  If not will you allow yourself the opportunity this year to examine what you really would have liked to have done and who to spend it with?  Why not spend this new year focusing on new beginnings?  Why not start it with getting a good physical?  It is important for a person to be physically as well as mentally cared for.  There are physical ailments that result from the emotional aspect.  Stress tears the body down eventually.  Chemical inbalances can be modified by medication.  Consider it if you are in this category.
     I wish you all a Happy New Year!  What do you think? 

The Raping and Killing of Women in India

     Recently there has been the reporting of a woman, a 23 year old medical student who was gang raped and beaten so badly she later died in hospital.  Last night in the news and do not read this part if it is too horrible to read, go to the next sentence after this sentence.   A two year old girl whose hands were tied behind her back was raped.  She too died.  That broke my heart.  What gives me hope is the uprise of protests that are going on in that city.  Men and women are protesting in the streets and I see a flicker of hope.  It is when men say enough is enough, that other men listen in Patriarchal societies. 

     Many years ago in my first career, a man let me read a paper from his home city.  He had moved to Canada from India where he served as a military officer.  I really liked this man.  He told me he had come to Canada to give his daughter a new life.  He told me how poorly women were thought of and how babies were aborted for the sole reason that they were female.  I pondered at the time.  If they kill all the females who will be left to reproduce?  It is a long time that I did not see this man and I do hope that he is doing well and Canada appreciates him.  I certainly did.  I have met so many good people who have come here from India to escape or to find a home where their children can grow up in a safe community.  We all have a responsibility to do just that.  Keep our country safe and not let poison tarnish it. 

     I met another man from India years ago.  After speaking to him many many times, and after him getting a promotion, and having a new baby girl in his life, he was so devoted to, he told me his story.  I thought and marveled how this kind and gentle man had suffered so much in his home country.  Suddenly, at the end of his long story, he yelled out, “Canada, I love this country!”  That bellowed in the hallway of where he stood, a humble man.  The hallway was busy and noisy with people and no one reacted to his shout.

     Another man, not from India, told me that he had to work for a woman he did not like.  He told me that in his country a woman knew her place, but if he was to survive in Canada he would need to change his views.   I saw hope in this young man.  As we talked more, I realized how torn he was from being raised in a Country where the voice of women was silenced, to coming to Canada and working for one.   I used to tease this man mercilessly and he took it so well.  I hope he can form a positive and healthy relationship with a woman in this country.  I hope that for the sake of my country.

     A woman from a Middle Eastern country in one of my undergrad classes spoke of how North American women were nothing but sluts and deserved to be raped.  After all we all dressed like sluts.  A male student took offense to that and tried to rationalize with her.  We were working in groups.  At the time it was best for me to remain silent and observe.  I am hoping that eventually this woman was returned to her country.  We do not need this.  However, I also realized that this woman was also projecting her own view of herself.  I have come to feel sorry for her.  But at that time, I did not feel sorry for her.  At that time, I thought, we were providing her with a home and food and the opportunity to have an education and she was slapping us in return.   She did not complete that class.  We were relieved.  Trying to be polite and respectful of other views can be difficult at times.

    It is unfortunate but in many countries where women are treated so badly, some believe they deserve it.  They integrate the norm of societies.   Women who are circumcised so they cannot have sexual pleasures are held down by other women.  If they are not circumcised than the men from their country will not want them as a wife.

    In one of my undergrad classes, I took a literature course as a break and we were analyzing one book based on Utopia, a perfect paradise.  We were asked how we would like to live in such a place.  I raised my hand and was surprised to find myself from about a class of about 30 or more, alone.  The others found a peaceful world too boring.  That was not the only time I was alone.  Another time, we were studying the plight of a native boy who had been placed in one horrible foster home to another.  Eventually, this loving boy who had lived in so many horrible places and barely experienced love, killed himself.  The argument I posed was why not let loving parents who were not necessarily native adopt him? You see none of the placements were suitable to begin with.  It was already known.  Again I was alone in my stance.  I proposed that it did not matter what nationality the parents were, what was most important was that the child be placed in a loving home.  My view was trumpt by the rest of the class which gave priority that the child should have been placed in a native home, regardless if it was inadequate.  What was lost in all this was that David the young teen killed himself.  Did not his life and death speak volumes?  He deserved to be loved.

     A woman I met owned her own business.  She told me that in her country she was subservient to men.  Here she learned that she does not need to do all the housework and other domestic duties plus work outside of the home.  Here in Canada she realized that she has choices and a voice.  This was alien to her before.  She did not realize she had a voice.  She did not realize there was another way of life.  She had accepted her previous role as normal, as that is all she knew.  Does that cause conflict with her husband and sons?  Of course it does because such changes always cause some disturbance to someone.  Moving from a Patriarchal society where a woman is nothing or less important than any male, to Canada where a woman has equal opportunity by law, will cause friction if the males in that family do not agree.

     I am pleased that the men and women in India are protesting about the young medical student who lost her life after being raped and brutally beaten.  How many lives could this young woman have saved?  Who are these cowardly men who cover their faces for fear of their lives?  What are their stories?  What about the government who fails to protect their people? 

     What if women who are not appreciated found their own utopia and left their men behind alone with no women for them to rape and torture.  What would happen then?  The devastation that rape has on anyone, man or woman is damaging to their spirit.  That happiness and trust is diminished.  No one has the right to do this to another person and to a child it is more horrid.        

     What we need to remember is that in any country there are always good men as well as good women.  It is my belief that the world has a responsibility to take care of itself including its people.  We have a responsibility to pay attention to what happens in the world and to try to make it a bit better.  Leadership should have decency and when it does not, the rest must pay attention and not ignore what is happening.  I am glad that this is in the news, because only then is leadership forced to make a decision.  

     I have met too many people both women and men (before I provided psychothery) who were suffering from being subjected to sexual assault at some point in their lives and never went to see anyone about it.  If you have been assaulted please take the time to seek help for it, even if you think you do not need it.  Find a therapist you feel you can trust and don't stop at the first one if there is no connection.  Check out different ones out until you feel safe with one.  Trust takes time and give yourself that time.  Sometimes we need to face the past in a safe place to move forward.  What do you think?

Snow, incoming from the USA

     I am really enjoying my holiday but I am afraid that my cold is returning.  At least that is what my lungs are telling me.  I awoke to find lots of snow outside to the point that my pets tried to go out, only to return promptly.  The female refused to go out and the male attempted it.  My pets who had such a hard beginning in their lives are now perfectly settled in their warm home, surrounded by lots of love and food.  No more mean people and streets for these two.  They are quite content living the life of Rielley.  One acts like a princess and appears to have been one all her life, only misplaced for awhile.  The other is the alpha male who has no liking for any human except for me.  I am flattered.  He is also very affectionate, which took some time.  He only gets mad at me when I have company.  I wonder if that will ever change?  If that happens, I may be able to take a real vacation.  Time and patience and lots of love is my recipe for any animal. 

     The snow is now mercilessly blowing.  Aw, it is my neighbour with his snow blower, blowing everything against my bay window.  One look outside and he controls that.  Aw, people!  What one appropriate look can achieve.  Words are not always required.

     Now, I shall return to writing my book, before braving the snow outside.  I am still at page 171, but no more after today.  This book is written carefully and with clarity.  This one is not written for fun. 
     What are you doing with your lives?  Are you happy?  What are your hobbies?  Do you have any?  Would you like to try something new?  Why not?  Do you have pets?  Do you treat them with love and respect?  Is this the right time in your life to explore who you are and what you want in life?  Who are the people in your life?  How do they treat you?  How do you treat them?  Are you able to communicate with them?  Do they accept you as you are?  Have you started that journal?  If not, try it.  Write down your emotions of what is happening in your life.  Get it out of you.  Your diary can be you talking to yourself, to someone you love, to God..................You can also be talking to your diary.  Don't just record the events in your life, the emotions you feel are important too.  How does it feel when you argue with your spouse, your children, your friends?  What happens inside you?
   
      Wow, my neigbour is now plowing away my snow on my property.  It must have been my sweet look.  There you go.  With every presumption there is another possibility.  What is it that you presume?  Can there be another side to what you are noticing in someone?  Why not take that opportunity to discover who you think you know.

      Well, USA, we will take your snow gractiously.  A little late and not Christmas, but after all, what are neighbours for?  What do you think?
    

Have you had a nice Christmas?

     This was one of my best Christmas's ever.  Today I am resting.  I have been so involved in my starting a practice that I was working perhaps a bit too much.  Now I have had perhaps a bit too much fun.  Balance is always important.  One thing I learned is that I can no longer have coffee at night.  Even my pets permitted me to sleep in which they never do the rest of the year. 
     How has your Christmas been?  Have you had the opportunity to be with people who appreciate you and love you?  If not, perhaps a new year resolution this year, may be to work on that part of your life.  We can never change other people, but we can certainly change ourselves.  There is so much opportunity out there to meet new people, we can welcome into our lives.  If you are not happy in the situation you are in, please think about making those changes to enhance your life.  Life is too short as it is.  Start by loving yourself and realizing that you are worthy of so much more.

     This morning as I was drinking my morning coffee and reading my paper, I heard a beautiful song coming from outside.  I stood up trying to find out who was singing.  Leaning against the open back doorway, I  marvelled at the fat little Cardinal chirping away on one of my trees.  What a wonderful gift of nature.  Family, friends and nature make me happy each Christmas.  What makes you happy?  What do you think?