Bepi - Published

We are gathered here today to remember Bepi.  Bepi immigrated to this country from Italy and later sent for his bride more than 40 years ago.  Together they had four children.  Bepi worked hard all his life and led a very simple life.  He was a carpenter and with those skills, he raised and educated his family.  Bepi enjoyed the simple things in life.  He loved his garden that provided fresh vegetables.  He would marvel at the beauty of nature, as he nurtured his roses and different colorful fruits all from his labor.  I loved Bepi.  I loved Bepi because he was a kind man, a gentle man.  He was the only man aside from my own father that I could open the door to and it did not matter how I looked because he always envisioned me as a child and not as a woman.  I loved Bepi because he was the only person aside from my father who refused to take any money when I needed his carpentry skills.  You see Bepi was generous with his self.  This generosity expanded to everyone who knew him.  And if there is a heaven then Bepi is already there watching us and pleased that we are all with him today.

          I have written this for Bepi because there was no eulogy that day in church.  Just prior to entering the church I saw his casket in the limousine.  He was all alone.  Others were in the comfort of their own limousines.  I touched the door near where he lay and entered the church.  I did not want to do this for I felt that he should not be alone.  I knew it was cold but someone should have been at his side.

                Inside the church there were many people and all were watching each other to determine who had come.  They would have something to talk about later.  You see Bepi did not have any real friends.  Bepi was always ignored.  And on that day, his day, he was alone in his limousine while his family kept warm in another.  And the minister raved on about heaven and hell and judgement day and did not speak of Bepi.  For if he knew Bepi, he would have known there was no need to speak of such things because for Bepi there could only be heaven.  But the minister failed to see Bepi because he saw a congregation of people that were in his church who were not normally there.  So, he took the opportunity to warn this flock that death was near and so was hell and heaven.  So, once again Bepi was ignored.

So Bepi, I want you to know that I love you and have always cared for you and treated you with respect when I know so many others failed you.  I want you to know that though there was no eulogy for you in church that day, there will be one for you today.  Because Bepi you deserve to have your story told.  I loved you and would have been proud to have you as my father.  I would have held my head high.  I want you to know that though there was no police escort for you that day along the many miles to a cemetery that is so far from your home, you had an escort of angels as you looked down from above.

Good by my friend. 

Will you be ok this Christmas season?

Christmas is a time of joy for many.  Sparkling lights, beautifully lit and adorned trees, lots of shopping and fun with family and friends.  Is this you?  How about another side of life?  Alone and abandoned by family, isolated with no friends, feeling hopeless, drained and sad?  Afraid that you won't get that A which will drive you to suicide?  |Failing school and feeling a failure?  Working hard for your family to give them what they need this Christmas but not being with them, their most cherished gift?  Are you happy with the busyness of the season?  Are you frustrated and anxious knowing you are on your own?  Have you seen too much sadness in your work, to enjoy yourself in your personal life?  Are you far from home this year because of other commitments which keeps you from your family?  Are you being abused at home?  Are your pets being abused?  What do you do?

     As much as some people enjoy the holidays, others fall into a pit of desperation?  Do you recognise yourself in any of the above?  Do you have your own story?  Where are you in this picture?  Do you feel strong enough to deal with all your woes because therapy is just for the weak?  Really?  Are you feeling that you cannot escape the abuse you find yourself in?  Really?  Have you been convinced that you are the cause of another's rage?  Do you believe it?  Who are you?  Have you lost yourself? 

     Why not take some time today and ask yourself, "Who am I?"  That is all.  Think about where you may be at this point of yourself and ask that question?  Do you think you are who you are told you are?  What is making you sad?  Look in the mirror and ask yourself this question.  Then write it down.  Take as much time as you need.  How do you define you?  Do you define yourself by your work?  Do you define yourself by your abusive partner?  Do you define yourself as a role in a family unit?  Who are you?  After you take your time to write that all down, ask yourself how you feel about who you are?  Now, take another look at the mirror and ask yourself, how do you find the person you want to be?  There is no shame is getting the help you need.  I think that it depicts strength.  If you are being abused why not take steps today to regain your self?  Why not close the door to what makes you feel so unhappy and open a new door to discover a new you, or simply reclaim yourself.  What do you think?       

developing brain and the environment – psych notes continued.

                                       Antibodies

Rh (Rhesus) factor

Rh negative  - mother

Rh positive -  fetus

Erythroblastosis fetus -  This condition in the fetus or newborn is usually caused by an Rh incompatibility between mom and baby.

Usually mom gets exposed to fetus blood.  Mom will create Rh factors.  But if  positive again will attach.  This is when immunity does not help.  If blood is completely mixed than this would happen.  The fetus arteries send out deoxygenated blood.

Prenatal Environmental Influences.

1.  Substances transported across the placenta.

2.  Fetal sensory imput.

Sensory -  motor development

-Early studies of aborted human fetuses (Hooker).  At six weeks there are the earliest movements.

Modern ultrasound studies

- Earliest movements:

About seven weeks:  turning head away from stimulation of oral (mouth) area.

- Reflexes are active while migration and differentiation still ongoing.

11 – 17 weeks

-spread of responsive areas

- grasp reflex

-thumb sucking

-swallowing

Encephalization of function

    As the brain develops in a caudo-rostral direction, higher levels come to modulate or organize the function of pre-existing levels.

Amnon-amniotic sac surrounds the embryo

Amniocentesis  - extract fluid from sac

                                      - cells end up in fluid

                                      - down syndrome

                                      -  neural tube defects-

                                          Protein Alpha fetoprotein; look at genetic from cells.

Taste and Smell

Taste buds:  7- 12 weeks

swallowing  - 3 months

taste and smell reactions at birth

- learning of mother’s odour:

-6 – 10 days postnatal

 (Macfarlane)

Vision – light is missing

Retinal reciptals not developed.

Contrast is missing.  All is a blur.  Layout is apparent in about two months. 

37 weeks gestation.

………..To be continued.   (Birth)      

The developing brain and the environment – psych notes  continued.

                                     Antibodies

Rh (Rhesus) factor

Rh negative  - mother

Rh positive -  fetus

Erythroblastosis fetus -  This condition in the fetus or newborn is usually caused by an Rh incompatibility between mom and baby.

Usually mom gets exposed to fetus blood.  Mom will create Rh factors.  But if it positive again will attach.  This is when immunity does not help.  If blood is completely mixed than this would happen.  The fetus arteries send out deoxygenated blood.

Prenatal Environmental Influences.

1.  Substances transported across the placenta.

2.  Fetal sensory imput.

Sensory -  motor development

-Early studies of aborted human fetuses (Hooker).  At six weeks there are the earliest movements.

Modern ultrasound studies

- Earliest movements:

About seven weeks:  turning head away from stimulation of oral (mouth) area.

- Reflexes are active while migration and differentiation still ongoing.

11 – 17 weeks

-spread of responsive areas

- grasp reflex

-thumb sucking

-swallowing

Encephalization of function

    As the brain develops in a caudo-rostral direction, higher levels come to modulate or organize the function of pre-existing levels.

Amnon-amniotic sac surrounds the embryo

Amniocentesis  - extract fluid from sac

                                      - cells end up in fluid

                                      - down syndrome

                                      -  neural tube defects-

                                          Protein Alpha fetoprotein; look at genetic from cells.

Taste and Smell

Taste buds:  7- 12 weeks

swallowing  - 3 months

taste and smell reactions at birth

- learning of mother’s odour:

-6 – 10 days postnatal

 (Macfarlane)

Vision – light is missing

Retinal reciptals not developed.

Contrast is missing.  All is a blur.  Layout is apparent in about two months. 

37 weeks gestation.

………..To be continued.   (Birth)      

My web site is up and running.....Finally! Made in China, you say? But I want to buy from here!

You may find me at redigondapsychotherapy.com.  What a chore doing your own web site.  I have two more nights of class.  Or is it one more?  I am afraid to put anything more on it or to change it.  I was having problems uploading and everything would disappear.  My instructor said that I don't give myself credit.  I say I am aware of my capabilities of making everything disappear like a magician.  Tomorrow, I will give myself some time to work on the product part, but I don't think I will use it.  I have only one book to sell and it is not really the type of book to sell on that site.  This is where I play with ideas, etc....Maybe the site I shall keep strictly for psychotherapy. 

     Yesterday I went to Niagara Falls and watched a Christmas show.  I love Niagara Falls.  I even bought a pair of boots I badly needed and I found a pair made in Canada.  Though I found the heel a tad too high for my walks, it was Hush Puppies and the Canadian Flag sold me.  Even the salesman was surprised that they were made in Canada.  Every other store in what they say is their largest strip mall had only "Made in China" products.  Or at least it did for everything I examined.  That is why I never bought the warm slippers.   "How do you feel about made in the U.S.A?"  I was asked.  "Yes!"  I responded.  But they did not have anything not made in China.  The clerk was just interested in knowing my biases.  I like to buy American and Canadian products because first they employ our own people.  Second, the quality is far superior in my opinion.  The salesman from India who sold me the boots informed me that he believed products made in Canada are superior to China.  His eyes actually popped, when I told him that the boots I wanted were made in Canada.  He thought I had made a mistake.  My concern is also safety.    I know that in North America we have certain standards.  We don't intentionally try to use products that may harm us and when they do, we have the press to keep a tab on that.  I love watching "Market Place" always trying to uncover one scam or another.  I tried not to buy anything made outside of North America for one entire month last year.  That month I did not buy anything.  Of course, I need to wear clothes so I had to eventually break down and buy from China and other places where people are probably exploited in the process.  Oh well, I did my tiny bit.  I proudly walked with my new expensive boots (by my standards) which I needed so badly and will probably last me for longer than one month.  One salesperson told me how she shopped in the States and her husband found a lovely well made item.  On closer examination, she found the tag that indicated it was made in Canada.  We had a good laugh. 
      Oh politics!  I had a great day in Niagara Falls and the light show was nice.  The Christmas Show was also great, though much too short for me.  But then, my whole life is breezing by.  Now, time for the out door lights because this morning it snowed a bit, to just keep me in that mood.  And yes, it is not the "holiday"  mood, but CHRISTMAS!!!!  Now back to my web site.  Oh boy........... What do you think?  

A day at York University selling "Hey Guy Buy Me"

     Once a year I go to York University to sell my “Hey Guy Buy Me.”  There I socialize throughout the day as people I know approach me and we catch up.  It is always a great feeling re-uniting.  York has a strong sense of community.  I love my college at the University of Toronto as well.  But it is very different.   I find it more serious, more conservative and more in contrast with the emotional, free spirit atmosphere of York.  I suppose in a way I miss the excitement of  unreserved freedom of emotions regardless of  how it comes across.     This year I had a table beside an author who has already published 15 books and who was giving books out for free, courtesy of her publisher.  I found this to be the same at Queen’s Park this year as well.  Publishers give out books for free which makes it harder for people to pay 9.95 for a book, half the size.  What do people care if there are cute cartoons and the print is on excellent paper?  What do I know about paper?  I just want to write.  Anyhow, I did sell some books and mega author told me that I did great.  I think so too considering I had to tell people that I could not give my books away for free.  Mega author did provide me with a wealth of information throughout the day.  I noticed that she was doing the same for everyone approaching her, aspiring to be writers.  I thought that wonderful, because I found that my learning has been a work in progress.  I did not find that same enthusiasm of other writers helping me out.  I was so lame that I did not even realize there were different publishers for different type of stories.  I know now.  Hard knoxs!  Oh well.  Learning is always a work in progress.  I just have to pay a bit more attention to the business side of the house.  I love to write and I love to help people.  In my undergrad at York, psychology was mainly multiple choice.  You had to work quickly because at times there were over a hundred questions.  I think York has one of the best psychology departments.  You have to know your stuff.  During the first portion of the classes we would have a massive group and after the first exam, we would surely have less than half.  Sometimes there were even less than that.  And I learned so much there that it became integrated in all I do.  I found grad school and my other programs less intense.  But that is how it is in general I understand.

     So for you wanna bees writers out there, pick up a pen or keypad and start.  I overheard my mega writer beside me quote that only one percent of people who want to write, actually publish.  I thought how sad that was.  What stops people to pursue their dreams?

     If you want to write, please do so because it is rewarding and go ahead and send your writings to the appropriate publishers.  You can find all that on the world of the web.  Life is so short that we should never allow our feelings that we may not be good enough get in the way.  That is what I was overhearing.  Aren’t I nosy?  Follow your dreams if you have them and start to dream if you have not begun.  I have a little plaque on my wall nearby which has a scene of a person on a wooden ledge protruding from an enclosure of beautiful trees.  You can see the water below in a mist.  There are words inscribed, “Everything wonderful begins with a dream.”   What is your dream?  Are you living your dream?  Why not?  What is keeping you from reaching your dream?  Why not begin today and start with baby steps to get you where you want to go?  What do you think?    

   For my American neighbours have a nice Thanksgiving day  I saw Obama on the news saving two turkeys.  How cute!

     You may buy my book at Book City on Yonge Street at St Clair and in the Annex.  You may also get one at a cute little bakery shop on Dufferin Street adjacent to Fair Banks Park between St Clair and Eglinton.   Chapters at Yonge and St Clair should still have some.  Or, you can send me a cheque in Canadian or American funds, and I will mail it out to you.  Or, you can wait til my web site is running properly or you can check ebay or……….Am I boring you yet?      

Got together with peers privately

When I studied Educational Psychology, the concern was to revamp the educational system because the benefits of working as a team was more beneficial than working to beat the other guy to the top.  But that was what our society consisted of.  We learn to compete in our early years.  Who is the best?  Who deserves something more than the other, because he is better?  What do we get?  We get people who will do anything to climb the ladder to success and take anyone out who gets in the way (figuratively speaking).  It does not work and I didn't need that course to learn that.  I lived most of my life as part of a team and I realized from an early age the benefits of groups.  Corporations need people who can work together to be more productive. 
     Saturday I hosted a gathering for previous classmates.  We got together and shared resources, brainstormed and had a great time reuniting.  Moving ahead in great company is always a happy alternative.
What do you think?

      

The Bells Scream - Published poem

The bells scream,

As birds cry 

What does this all mean?

The earth shatters

As the people scatter

What does this all mean?

Darkness falls roughly

As elephants trample

What does this all mean?

The forest is on fire

As the sun collapses

What does this all mean?

…..end