Word on the Street - What a beautiful day at the new venue.

I could not have asked for a better day. Though I could not see the waterfront from where I was because it was hidden by tents, I had a clear view of the CN Tower and the condo right next to it which I had seen from within when I was in grad school. The only reason I did not buy it was because of my pets. They love the outdoors too much. What some people will do for their pets. Probably not a wise financial move, because it was a bargain. Sometimes people cannot see beyond an unfurnished place but looking out at the CN tower from one full length side and watching planes land from another with a full view of the water, what more could I ask for? How could I write from there? Easy. Aw......Anyhow, there were many interesting people who stopped at my booth. Some were attracted to my Italian name and they would buy a book. My first book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" was the seller once again. I couldn't believe it though I make more money on that one. I had one guy come to me and complained about the same book. He bought it last year and was hoping for a gem. What he got, he told me was a lot of talk and nothing else beyond the humour (which I don't think he found very funny). Another man came to look at my second book "For love of Country: Military Policewoman" and he wanted to know if it would be better than Eisenhower's biography. Nope I cannot compete with the 34th President. So, he did not buy my book. One guy bought two copies of my first book just because I am Italian born. I really should join an Italian Club. I also had some very nice and interesting people stop by to talk. One had moved to Hamilton to buy his dream home and he offered his opinion about Niagara on the Lake. I won't share that. I always like to hear the perspective of people who are from Toronto living outside the city. There was an American from Maryland who was very upset about our traffic. Join the club. I suggested he complain to the Mayor, saying he likes tourism. Maryland wanted to know if it was the drug etc.....one. "No we have a new one." I replied reserving comments. There were a lot of tourists and I enjoyed having them stop by. I am proud of my city and do like it when people are having fun here. Then there were the activists. No I don't want to sign anything. I don't want to stop any bill. Hey I believe Canada's security is paramount! Whatever it takes. There was a lot of soliciting but how do you control that? I can't even get rid of them when they come to my door. But all in all a wonderful day. My next booksale will be at York University in November. I have to sort out some paperwork and then post it. So, if any of you were there, you did not tell me. Rest assured I had a wonderful day in the sun and at the end of it enjoyed a Pizza with a glass of wine. Nice.

Rejected for writer's grant.

Oh well, I got rejected. No funding for me. No sireeee. I guess they didn't like the opening for "The Internet Murders." At least I tried. I am feeling sick today and so rested much of the day. I am presently sitting in my backyard with one of my pets nearby enjoying the first day of fall in my pj's. Tomorrow I will will re-read a student's paper so I shall be fresh Friday. If a student writes, than I should honour the student by reading and re-reading her papers. It was not too long since I had her experiences and more. So, I am fortunate enough to be able to do this resting thing. How do you take care of yourself when you get a bug? Do you rest? Do you plug on, til you drop? What I do is stretch out, watch movies and rest. I do hope to see some of you on Sunday. Til then take care of yourselves and stay healthy. What do you think?

"Word on the Street" this Sunday at the Harborfront

Well it is that time of the year when I will be at "Word on the Street." This year it will be at the Harbourfront rather than Queen's Park. You will find me at Booth 180, under the sign "Hey Guy Buy Me." I will be signing and selling both of my books. For those of you who do not know, I have a website www.silvaredigonda.com where I have an ebook and mail my second book, For Love of Country: Military Policewoman, as well as my first. I have actually had to put on pause my third book "The Internet Murders." When you love to do two things, you have to balance it. I could easily write more if that is all I was doing, however, I also love to help people and so I give them priority and put my books on hold. I do love reading and movies and story telling. My second book is written much better than my first. I have never really been a business person so this side of the house has been a learning experience. I have always worked in the service for people and has I have grown older, I continue to do this in a more serene fashion. So, do not hesitate to buy my books and I will ship them to you. Check out my site. If you are in Toronto do come and say hello and better still buy a book or two. Remember, my books have nothing to do with my practice. I will eventually write something on psychotherapy and spirituality but for now I like to write for fun only. My first book is very silly and fun which to my surprise some felt it was very therapuetic but remember it was not designed to be so. It is comedy. My second book is written with my heart and soul and I am always interested to hear what people think of it. So enjoy your week, balance your life and do not forget to have fun. If you are in need of therapy do not hesitate to contact me. I do charge 100.00 a fifty minute hour and can no longer make any exceptions due to ethics. However, I do see people weekly, bi-weekly, monthly and sporadically. I also give homework unless someone really hates homework. Mental health is so important, as important as physical health. I do hope that eventually Canada will encorporate mental health as part of benefits for all people. I am associated with some health plans but cannot reveal who they are due to non-disclosure agreements. Why not begin today to start writing about what you think and feel? What happens when you do that? What do you think? Have a great week and don't forget to visit me at the Harbourfront if you are in Toronto. We have a very beautiful city. silva

Grief

Dr William Hoy, clinical faculty with Medical Humanities at Baylor University at Waco (yes I think that is the place) Texas among many other qualifications & associations. He has published books and journals which you should find on line if you are interested. His definitions of bereavement and complicated grief are the same as I have studied: Bereavement: reconstructs meaning to refocus life after significant loss. Complicated Grief: exists when the bereaved person persistently organizes life around the loss. This results in impairment of function to a clinically- significant degree. During this lecture it was discussed that there are people and families who experience high levels of disruption (secondary losses) following a death, including serious economic reversals. In the Harvard Child Bereavement Study, surviving parents who experienced the largest number of life-changing events following the death of their spouse had the highest levels of depression and their children also functioned less well over the two year follow-up (Worden, 1996 cited in Worden, 2009). Dr Hoy reported that American belief in God is 93%. Of 40% of people who had no religion, not one believed that their child had ceased to exist. Dr Hoy spoke of a Toronto, Vancouver and USA joint research study and found that 84% of patients said yes, regarding wanting to talk about faith and praying with their physician. 15% suffer from complicated grief; Impairment of function to a significant degree. Dr Hoy’s books include: Guiding People through Grief and Road to Emmaus. His newest book, Do Funerals Matter? The Purpose and Practice of Death Rituals in Global Perspective (Routledge, 2013). Dr Hoy spoke of differences among cultures when it comes to funerals and how funerals impact us and provide closure. I have written before about attending lectures where physicians here in Toronto actually pray with their patients before surgery. I do provide grief therapy and take names for group grief therapy which I believe is very beneficial for people without a good support system. However, if someone is suffering from complicated grief or someone is not able to divide their time equally with other clients because they are so focused on their own pain, than group therapy is not possible as it takes away from the group. For people interested in group or individual therapy please to not hesitate to contact me.

Enjoying these last days of summer

I have been slowing down from the millions or minions of things I have to do and having mini vacations. I have been enjoying my home more, my friends more and my pets more. I have been bathing myself in sun - a bit too much. I have joined a Health Club which I joined twice before and then stopped for some reason or another. I have been enjoying swimming lengths. I have also found it to be very therapeutic as I swim and watch the gardens outside and then go out to the terrace and have a late lunch or early supper and watching birds bathing themselves in the fountain. It is a place I used to enjoy bringing my mom to because it pleased her so. I encourage all of you to find that piece of heaven each day where you can rest, re-energize and return to the work force feeling refreshed. You are also more productive. I have returned to the Health Club primarily to get physically fit. Since grad school, I have been seated much to much. I had forgotten how much I really love to swim. I used to be a lifeguard in my teenage years which I believe I mention in my second book. I had one instructor who was teaching a woman to swim, focus on me suddenly and then telling his student to watch my breathing and that it was relaxed. Then stupid me blurts out that I hadn't swam in a year. Where is my humility, I pondered later while drinking my cappuchino in the garden. Well, yes it is true that I had not swam for a year, and that was just one night, but is that encouraging for someone who is trying to learn? No - it is not. So, after that when someone comments that I swim effortlessly and I make it look easy, I just say anyone learn and leave it like that. I learned from the life guard. I saw a female lifeguard give a tissue to a woman in the water who wanted to blow her nose. I was surprised that the woman did not leave the pool to do so. As it was the female life guard provided the tissue to her and the woman blew her nose and gave the used tissue back. The guard disposed of it and then washed her hands in the pool. That certainly wasn't in my job description and neither I am sure it is in hers. She did not seemed phased by it at all, as if it was routine. I think we can all put in a bit more effort at being kinder to people when they are working. I have decided to actually spend some money to advertise and am considering placing some of my books in the bookstores. I will lose money doing that but I want people to read my books. I have also began reading a bit more after swimming. I like routine even though I am always, altering it according to priorities. Now I have one of my pets monopolizing my attention. I have to go before he sits on the key pad. What do you think? How do you relax?

Home — OAMFT

Home — OAMFT

Suicide

Uof T magazine, summer 2015, page 23, reports that people who survive a first attempt by poisoning are 42 times more likely to kill themselves by poisoning eventually, compared to the average person. If you are feeling suicidal get some help. More elderly men in Canada commit suicide than any other group. It is never to late to get help. I can speak a lot more on this topic but not today.