New web site needs to wait until College is up and running - The College of Psychotherapy

I read that it is worse to have a web site that is not up to date, than not to have one at all. Once I have an up to date one, I will find out for myself. However, it seems to make sense to me. However, I have decided to wait until the College is set up and running. When I was in my undergrad psychology program, we were informed that anyone could put up a shingle and provide therapy as long as they did not refer to their clients as patients. As students we were horrified. We could not believe that this was not regulated. This is finally changing and I am very happy that it is. Not everyone is as happy as I am. Why? Again, if I had my way every business dealing with the care of others would be regulated. Heck, any business should be regulated. Think of how many scams could be controlled and the public protected. We live in a world that is constantly changing and we need to change with it. So, I have decided to wait until everything is sorted out and then there should be no other changes for me. However, after the College is here, I will re-examine how many associations I belong to and perhaps drop one. If you are looking for a therapist, ask for their qualifications. You should be able to see the certificates on the wall. You are paying them to help you so ensure that the person you are seeing has sufficient education related to what you need. I still remember when I began my studies, asking therapists about their qualifications. I was horrified. Some had no training what so ever and only a Bachelar of Arts etc... This is all changing and it is for your protection. Get the help you need. Find someone you can relate to and feel comfortable with. There is no shame in seeking help. It is only a shame when you don't. Start getting atune to your feelings. Why are you angry, sad or happy. What is happening? Why do you feel the way you do? Have you given up? Why? Where do you find peace? How often do you go there? What do you think?

Second book is with publisher

I had a professor in Grad studies, whom I now consider a friend, tell me that a book should never be more than 200 pages because people will get bored. I suppose I shall find out, since my publisher informed me recently that my book will be about 500 pages. I was surprised. I thought it would have been less. My objective for my third book will be aiming for 200 pages when it is completed. I have to ask how many typed pages = to two hundred. I have loved to write stories since I was in elementary school. I would read them to my mom in the kitchen. I would then hand them in at school and I remember one teacher not believing me that I had wrote it. He chastised me in class, in quite a condenscending way telling me, that I could not have possibly wrote it. Because I had a very supportive home life, I was able to tell him in a class full of people, that he could ask my mother and she would indeed verify that I had written the story. Looking back, I smile thinking how much I did not like teachers in grade school and high school. That all changed for me in University. I loved University where one can express their views and not be told that it is above their capability. Teachers today need to be more educated than they were when I was young. However, there is no perfection. I had a mom who urged me and convinced me that I could accomplish whatever I wanted in life. Not everyone has that. There are children who are told that they will never amount to anything, they grow and have children and all that negativity that they have been taught is handed down to their child. What would be the difference for a child who has no support system at school or at home? One positive influence for a child can make all the difference. Find that positive influence because it is out there. My book will not be ready for the fall book sale, at Queens Park next month as I had planned. It may not even be ready for Show Case at York University. However, if you are in the area, do come by and say hi. I will be selling, Hey Guy Buy Me and always appreciate the feed back I receive, especially when it is kind. When the second book is completed and I have it in my hands, it will be time for a second web site. Thank you for still reading my blogs. I am considering returning with more information from my schooling. Why not share with the world?

I am surprised that people are still reading my blogs. I just want to bring you up to date with a few things. My second book is completed and my editor has it. I have completed all my serious work and may now sit and relax and enjoy the wonderful weather we are having in Toronto. Connecting with friends is always good and spending time out doors in nature is great. I have to update my web site: seriously. Thank you for still reading me.

This is my last blog. Thank you for everything.

The reason I began this blog and my twitter is because several years ago when at a seminar we were informed that if we were therapists and were not on the internet, we would not be in ten years. I was still a student and concerned about that comment. I have enjoyed posting articles from psychology, theology and pastoral education mixed with analgies from personal perspectives. I am now on the internet with my various affliliations and so am visible. I will be updating my profiles on site to list my immediate qualifications. Though I have enjoyed writing my blogs, I need to focus on building my practice, doing the research I need to do for my work and balance and prioritize. I want to thank you very much for reading my blogs. It was very kind of you. Self care is extemely important and I hope that you all find that balance between work and play. We are very social beings and isolation does not help. Please reach out to someone if you are sad. Keep yourself healthy by managing your stress levels and finding someone you can share your thoughts with. Be the person you want to be. If you are in an abusive relationship, find a way to get help. We are lucky to be living in Canada where there are so many resources available. USA, I especially thank you for reading my blogs because you are at the top of the list for reading my articles. I always enjoy travelling to your country and sometimes I forget that we have borders. I have more to see there as my focus is now North America. We both live in countries where people from all over come to have better lives. I want to thank you all for visiting. If you ever do come to see me as a client please let me know that you did read my blogs. Take care. Do something nice for yourselves today. Thank you Silva

Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder

I wrote a few articles about eating disorders and thought that before I move on to another topic that I write a bit more about image. The idea of beauty and the ideal body changes from country to country and from different era's. It is ironic that eating disorders are found prominently in countries where there is an abundance of food. I remember as a teen, a neighbour approaching my mom with the Toronto Sun newspaper, point at a sunshine girl and inform my mom, that the girl was disgusting. My mom looked at the sunshine girl and then at our neighbour and pleasantly told her that if she or my mom were in the paper than it would be disgusting. However, the sunshine girl was not disgusting. My mom had great joy re-iterating this to me. I too found it amusing and more so because my mom was far from disgusting. I have found through the years that how a woman looks or dresses does at times define her from the eyes of the other, who is looking at her. She is wearing too much, not enough, her dress is too short, her hair is too long, etc........I actually find it all tiresome at times because it appears very rediculous to me. It is not only women who have become overly concerned about their appearance and how it defines them, but men too have caught up. What I have found the most disturbing is how women who are raped are blamed by the ignorant, regarding their dress. In some countries where women are forced to dress from head to foot (and I mean those forced; not all are) it is because they may cause the poor male to lose all restraints and become the animal who needs to rape her. Then she is also blamed by the society she lives in. I remember a time when how a woman dressed was considered in court for sexual assault cases and how her relation with other men (promiscuality) was considered as contributing factors. All this is quite absurd. No one. No man, woman or child ever deserves to be sexually assaulted. It does not matter how one dresses, how many romantic interludes one has, etc.... What matters is if the adult man or woman wants to have sex period. Sexual assault is always about power. So the next time you judge someone about the way she dresses, ask yourself why you care. What you may feel is very inappropriate may just be your own subjective judgement. Why not take a closer look at the person and accept that person as he or she is? So dress as you like. Be yourself and do not try to please any one else. If you want to lose weight do it. If you want to eat healthy do it. Keep in mind that you do have control over yourself and do not hurt yourself in the process by thinking that is all you can control. When people judge you, they do not have to look at themselves. Live your life to the fullest and make the first step a gift to yourself. What do you think?

Hey Guy Buy Me - For sale at Oakwood and Rogers Fair again

If you have not read my book yet and need a laugh, come see me Saturday, 7 Jun 14. I should be between the bank and the Pastry shop on Oakwood, steps from Rogers Road. I was hoping that my second book would have been published by now. However, that is not the case. A good friend of mine who is not a professonal editor volunteered to do that part, but he is also a very busy man. I have a passion to write and not all have a passion to edit. HOwever, he is hanging in there and so I hope my number one and only fan can. So I am sorry that my second book is not yet available but "Hey Guy Buy Me" cetainly is. I shall be advertising my practice as well. Remember I wrote the book for fun only. It is not meant to be a counselling guide. I wrote this before I even considered my present line of work. If you are in the area come and say hello.