Eschatology notes continues

God’s grace is victory over evil. Reality we are living now - each of these poles has eschatology reality in the Christian life. The very cross is a tension. Tension. Eschatology humanity is part of our reality. Traditionally, physically in focus. Abstract, talking about end of the world. Augustine’s restless heart - he anticipates that restlessness will be gone with eschatology. Lonergan four basic desires: (part of restless heart, Augustine). 1. Desire to know - will never be fulfilled in this world. Cannot quit asking questions. 2. Desire for rectitude (justice). Why did the person get the job? He didn’t deserve it. If I have something good, I want to do it. Everyone should have food; home. 3. Desire for happiness. 4. Desire for immortality. A time name after saints. Now donors, because they want to leave a legacy. We don’t think it is natural for death, full stop. This is anthropological - because raised more questions. Beatific Vision (part of restless heart, Augustine) All the questions that you have, will be answered in the Beatific vision. What we think is justice; God’s may be very different. The last will be first. Not all questions will be answered so we have this hope - one day…. To be continued with Ernst Block 1885- 1977

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues……A Child’s Safety Plan and Violent Episode - Concludes and my concluding thoughts

Have your child choose a safe/room place in the house with lock and phone in the room. Have children get out of the room where the abuse is occurring. Emphasize the importance of being safe and that it is not the child’s responsibility to protect the mother. Teach your child how to call for help and not to do it in front of the abusive parent as it may place them at risk. Teach your child how to use a cell phone, or go to a neighbour. Teach them how to contact the police. Children should learn their full name and address. Pick a safe place to meet outside the home after the situation is safe. During a Violent Incident: Remind yourself of your emergency plan. Get out and call 911. Try to move to a space where the risk is lowest. Use your code name with your children so they can call for help. When or after you are assaulted call 911. Make as much noice as possible so neighbours may call police. I have taken the salient points above to address. Abusive partners may come across as very personable to others while they try to gather information. I cannot stress enough that the police are there to protect you. Often people who are abused are convinced by their abusers that the police cannot be trusted. They are trying to maintain their control. Should you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask. This plan was designed by women for women. I help all people regardless of gender etc.....This plan can help anyone who needs it, even if it provokes thoughts. Last fall when I attended the men's conference, an American man spoke about his abuse suffered by his physician wife. When the police came they couldn't take it seriously and yet he was almost killed. The man was trembling as a result of the trauma he had sustained which I see more frequently in women. I told him that I take all forms of abuse seriously and that he should have complained about the police if they did nothing. He actually did afterwards. There has been some anti police attitudes within the last years and I have seen the damage it does. Police are there to enforce laws that society deems necessary for the safety of all. It can be difficult for emergency services to consistenly be exposed to the ugliness of what people do. That is why it is very important for them to step back and contemplate what is happening around them and themselves. Self care is so important. The police are consistently scrutinized and therefore they often feel pressure. There are so many out there who become emergency response people because they actually love people. I have been one of those. There is much to gain for criminals to convince others how horrible the police are. Abusers are criminals and domestic situations are very serious and very dangerous. If you see anyone being abused call the police. It can be very dangerous if you interfere. The police are trained how to deal with these characters. Remember that a parent is responsible for protecting their child and if the child is not protected than authorities need to be notified. As a therapist I am obligated and regulated to report child abuse. Surround your self with nature, take time to reflect your own future. Be mindful of the honeymoon effect which I have written about in the past. No one has the right to try to control anyone else. People are not property and neither are children.

Signing at Coptic Centre - Heads Up

I will be at the Coptic Centre 26 Aug 23 signing and selling books and of course getting close and personal, but not too close. If you are in Mississauga, why not come and say hello?

You may sign your condolences for this beautiful Police Dog who died protecting his partner. Such a tragedy for this two year old

https://www.tps.ca/media-centre/stories/tragic-loss-of-police-dog/

How do Children Remember? Research by Dr Thanujeni Pathman, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology at York University and a bit about me.

“This presentation examines what we know about children’s memory and the factors that support memory development. Learn about changes that are occurring in the brain as kids get older and the sophisticated memory abilities in young children. Viewers will also learn about the implications of child development research for forensic settings (eyewitness testimony) and education.” I attended the one hour lecture. Initially I found it dry. I studied memory and aging at York University in my undergrad so much was a refresher for my grey cells. However, it soon became interesting as new good stuff came up. Research is so important, though it was clinical work that interested me. Dr Pathman spoke of her research, in the lab and at the Toronto zoo during a camp week with children. For parents interested in having their children participate in any of the research find the parents page and if there is a study age related for a child, you can sign up. There will be a video of this session probably in a week. Look up York University Scholars alumni for an u tube video. I can keep an eye for it if you are interested and post it for you. What I found new for me and very interesting is that event memories emerges in infancy. This has been my view for ages but now there is evidence to support it. My question to her was: Are there memories before birth? For ages, people have refuted my belief. Here is my happy dance. There have been studies when a child is in the womb, when stories are read and music played. There is evidence that after birth the child is able to show familiarities to those materials and also to recognize voices heard when in the womb. Another area of interest to me is forensics regarding the idea of children not being able to be believed. Remembering my own military police training (ages ago) we were informed that testimony of children was unreliable due to exaggeration. However, as a Psychotherapist the memory of horrific sexual abuses people have experienced even as babies is remembered. They can remember clothing and who abused them, too often a parent and their friends. I see people who have come from throughout the world and too often their abusers are dead. I often think there is a pandemic of child sexual abuse. In Canada we have to report the sexual abuse of children, but we notify them of our reporting and confidentiality regulations. When people are notified what I have to report, how many people will be open? Anyhow, back to the session. There will be more research conducted and so there will be evidence for therapists to provide in court regarding a child’s testimony. Anyhow, that is all for now. Someone asked the question if more memory is remembered in real life rather than screen time. During screen time, though it is possible to learn, it is better to learn when more engaging. I am also going to add that note taking by hand is best to retain memory than typing notes on your computer. I still take notes by hand even though I can’t read my writing at times. I also prefer attending conference live, but by attending on line, I have the opportunity to attend more. Anyhow, what I thought was going to be boring, turned out to excite me. Saturday I shall be attending a sister’s of crime event again by my American sisters. It will be regarding how IT will effect us as writers. I am thinking of adding an IT component in my next serial killing book so I need to learn as much as possible about it. Unfortunately I had to miss a few on the topic but I need to make it a priority from now on. That’s it for now. I will be attending a Mississauga meet your local author, with me there selling and signing my books. I missed Word on The Street and didn’t do any signing what so ever so I want to be more motivated for that as well. So much to do. Anyhow, have a nice week. I don’t know if I shall have the time to write more this week, but I want to cut and paste one of my books for you. My publisher is now reading Ominous, so wish me luck. I have more to talk about that too. What do you think?

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues : An Emotional Safety Plan

The experience of being abused and verbally degraded is usually exhausting and draining. Find support: Attend as many crises counselling group sessions as possible. Join support groups of other women. Become involved in community activities to reduce feeling isolated. Find a part time job to reduce isolation and improve finances. Enrol in school to upgrade skills. Take time for yourself to read, mediate, play music etc… Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support. Take time in social activities eg. movies, dinner, exercise. Take care of your sleep time and nutritional needs. Keep your client profile up to date to help you feel prepared for up coming events. Keep a journal to write about your feelings. Keep it in a safe place or burn it. Take time to prepare yourself emotionally before entering stressful situations like talking to your partner, meeting with lawyers or attending court. Limit yourself to one appointment per day to reduce stress. Be creative and do what makes you feel good. Write something positive about yourself each day. Don’t find comfort in drugs, alcohol and food. It is ok to feel angry. Find positive and constructive ways to express it. This is what I am going to add: Partners who are abusive try to isolate you from friends/family. Siblings or other important people in your life will be put down by your partner. Be careful. This may be the beginning. The more isolated you are, the more your partner will try to control you. Be aware of the honeymoon effect. I have written about it previously. The Police will help you. They are not the bad guys/gals, your partner is. Check out the support they may offer you. The list above may be too much for you. Look at what is manageable for you. Try something and then add to it when you are ready. Toronto has a lot of free resources. Call 211 for what is available to you. Be kind to yourself. Some may feel shame for what is happening to them. This can happen to anyone. Also, men too are abused by their partners which often causes additional shame since they are men and the culture believes this cannot happen to them. Often in their cases, it may not be taken seriously. This series will continue with a child’s safety plan.

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues…At work

Each woman must decide when and if she will tell others about her abusive partner. You may choose to do if any of the following: Tell your employer, the security operations and other key people or friends. Ask to have your calls screened at work. It would help to have these calls documented. Discuss the possibility of having your employer call police if you are in danger from your ex partner. When arriving or leaving work: let someone know when you’ll be home. Carry your keys in your hands. get a remote or keyless entry car door opener. Walk with someone to your car (security may also do that). Scan the parking lot (I would add to park where there are security cameras as close as possible to where you will be working). Walk around your vehicle, look under the hood and check if anything has been tampered with and check brakes. Remember to keep your car seats forward, so you know if someone is hiding in the vehicle. If your partner is following you, drive to a place where there are people to support you eg. a friend’s house; police station. If you have underground parking consider parking across the street. Keep a sign in your car with “call police”. When walking ensure it it populated. Keep changing patterns of when you arrive/leave work and other places. If you see your ex partner on the street try to get to a public place, eg store. Call attention to yourself and request help. Next: An Emotional Safety Plan