My sympathies to all those suffering in the States due to the tornadoes

It was sad to see Kentucky so devastated, the hardest hit by the Tornadoes. Kentucky is a State where I normally like to spend the night when on-route to Disney World. I remember one night staying at a motel where next door was an ice-cream parlour and a cinema on the other side of that. I never could find that place again in other trips. I also saw a huge manor, hotel type I saw from the highway and meant to stop to spend the night in future. I couldn’t find that again either. I found the people in Kentucky pleasant and charming. When I travel through the States I am often mistaken as being from New York and then I explain I am from Canada. I miss going to the States and so it is painful when I see places I care about being torn apart by nature’s fury. We have had problems here as well on our West and East coasts and again, it is difficult to see so much suffering. Grief is an emotion that is quite painful. What happens when you lose everything? What happens when people you love are no longer, in an instant? What happens when your physicality, emotions and spirituality is challenged? Be a supportive ear for those who need to grieve and come to you. Don’t give advice. As how you can be supportive? Don’t judge. Walk with them. Grief is expressed differently from those who suffer from one another. When grief is complicated than individual therapy is required. My condolences to the families and survivors.

The Internet Murders - Continues https://silvaredigonda.ca

The dark figure entered the Church. It was time to confess completely to the priest he had spoken to the other evening. The discomfort that radiated from the priest had been arousing. The Church was now empty except for an old priest kneeling before a statue. The killer walked up the centre aisle to the priest, who was oblivious to anyone except the statue of a young woman, dressed in white and blue robes. She stood firmly with her feet on a snake’s head, its poisonous venom held firmly in check. The statue seemed transfixed in time. “Father, can you hear my confession?” The priest turned his head to look at the person who had interrupted his prayer to Mary. “Confession is on Saturday from two to four.” “Well father, I won’t be able to come during that time, and that is why I am here now.” The elderly priest smiled. However, there was something disturbing about the polite young person before him. There was a small cut … the cut is recent, he thought. “All right, come and sit with me in the pew.” The priest moved slowly towards the pew. The church was quiet and dark. He had forgotten to lock the door and it was late. No one would disturb them at this hour. The priest momentarily closed his eyes for his own act of contrition, because he suddenly felt frightened. He felt death was looming over him.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

Approaches to Elder Abuse: A family physician’s perspective by Elder Abuse Ontario

I attended another live webinar by Dr Bachir Tazkarji, M.D, UofT. and Dr Mark Yaffe, Prof, St Mary’s hospital (Investigation), McGill- Developed tools to help detect elder abuse. I have been to St Mary’s Hospital in Montreal and so was quite pleased. St Mary’s has a warmth about it from my perspective. It is where a cousin of mine died from cancer. His care was amazing. I had promised him I would visit him once a month until he died. I took that train trip once a month for more than a year. My heart is still there. Anyhow, I attended this webinar on 22 Nov 21, so I hope I can read my notes. This too should be posted so if you have the time, I suggest you watch it. It will provide you with video examples of abuse (actors). Elder abuse is 10% international. 16% is under reported. There was a 13 year cohort study, of 2812 community dwelling seniors. Abuse of the elderly promotes premature deaths. Survival of the abused group was 9% compared 40% in non-abused. Safety line for seniors is 1-866-299-1011. Reference for police is EASI-leo. - Yale. www.mcgill.ca/family med I won’t go into a lengthy detail because it is available for you on EAPO. Well worth watching.

Preventing Domestic Homicides with Older Couples

Preventing Domestic Homicides with Older Couples: Lessons learned from Tragedies by Dr Peter Jaffe, Psychologist, Prof Emeritus and Margaret MacPherson, Research Associate, 24 Nov 21. I encourage you if interested to watch this video at eapon.ca. I attended this while it was being recorded. From 2003 to 2017 there were 311 cases of 445 deaths. 65% were homicides and 35% were homicide/suicides. 72% had a history of domestic violence. Of course I asked about men and they are exposed to less than 20% of domestic violence. Women ages 15 - 24 have the highest exposure to domestic violence. Older women have the lowest rate but it is still significant. Close to 3000 individuals over age 55 reported spousal violence in Canada, 2011. Reporting rates are conservative. Older women are less likely to report to police or disclose to others. There is a risk in males with a caregiving role. There is access to firearms. Mercy killing is likely in couples murder suicide. As women age they feel they have less life choices. Dr Jaffe suggested talking about homicide and suicide ideation with clients. As Christmas approaches That is all for now. I want to keep it lighter that Christmas is coming. However, Christmas is a very depressing time for people who are suffering. This entry has been focused on Canadian stats however the content applies to everyone. The most dangerous time for someone in a domestic situation is when they are leaving. In the city there are many resources and support programs. If you live in a rural area it may be more difficult because of the isolation. The pandemic has compounded isolation. There is help out there. Reach out. If you are a therapist reading this you are aware that you may suffer from vicarious trauma. What I do is decrease my work load to incorporate more fun and R + R. Self care is paramount. For victims suffering and feeling shame remember or look up my earlier blogs about abuse and the Honeymoon Effect. If you ever have any questions please do not hesitate to ask.

Need signatures to stop abusers of animals to own them

Six years ago I began a petition to change the law so animals can have support that if they are abused their owners will never be able to own a pet again. I had over 600 signatures but that wasn't enough. I am trying again.https://chng.it/jmRbYh97Kx

Hey Guy Buy Me is now on sale at half price - www.silvaredigonda.ca

Well it took awhile but I managed with a lot of help from Shopify to reduce the price of my first book from 9.95 to 4.98 plus shipping costs world wide. There were a few blunders I caused so I appreciated the help. Hey Guy is my first book and I really wrote it just for fun. I have had some men really get mad at me and others more charming, loved it. I don't have an ebook to cut and paste, but if you order any I shall sign it. Let me know who you want to send it to and what you would like me to say. I cannot use any bad language, sorry. The Christmas sale is on til 12 Jan 2022. So, buy one for that man you love or hate. It works....Have a good weekend.

Elder Abuse tid bit and Marriage with special needs children tid bits and hey how about me tid bits?

Today I received an email from EAPO (the Elder Abuse Prevention). Did you know that 93% of seniors reside in the community? This year elder abuse increased by 250%. I have attended their webinars and I find them quite informative. If you are interested check out their web site: www.EAPON.ca. I also finished reading my American Association For Marriage and Family Therapy magazine (Sep/Oct) edition. Did you know that while the divorce rate in the U.S.A. has held near 50%, limited data suggest there is a divorce rate as high as 70%-80% with parents of special needs children. p 32. I am pleased to say that I am reducing my work load now that I have given up all EAP and insurance. It is nice having private clients ------ so much easier. Now I can give my writing more attention. I am now going through my second draft for at least an hour a day when possible. Good thing too because I am making changes and correcting simple grammar. I love this book. I have also provided all my renewal requirments from my college. I am still recording my webinars for this year which means that you shall be updated as I record whatever I think may be interesting for you. I want to spend more time on the business side of the house for my books. My bad. I shall get there hopefully before Christmas. We now have a new varient of Covid so please get vaccinated. It does not hurt.....Kids are getting it now and I must say they are much more braver. When I was a child, I had to go get a needle and I asked the nurse if it was going to hurt. She made the mistake of saying a little, so it took about six of them to hold me down. Once I received the prick I looked at her and told her it did not hurt. Maybe I called her a liar? So when I was watching the news last night and heard the doctor say it could hurt a little, I smiled remembering. Be brave, it does not hurt. Ask for a reward from your partner, parent, or children......Keep safe. I recommend ice cream. What do you think?