Addiction panel in recovery - webinar

This week I attended a two hour event webinar. The title was Recovery Day: Navigating a life in Recovery. It was worth two education hours and I need 20 hours which I surpass each year. I didn’t realize that this was about addiction. I have attended so many and as you know I like to have a wide range of education and experiences. I won’t identify who held it because it was obvious to me that this was for the intent of marketing their organization. Though I think they are good, I let clients form their own opinions and encourage them to navigate and explore options. I think that clients should make their own decisions, especially if they have to pay for it. Unfortunately, mental health is becoming big business. I do recommend CAMH, because it is free and their resources are excellent. They also have lots of funding. All of the panel and the host speaker had been part of the program and offered high praises. I did not hear of the percentage of recovery and of how difficult the process was with examples. The first speaker emphasised kindness towards addicts. The word kept arising and I pondered how much she must have needed kindness during her journey and may have lacked it. The rest of the panel were men with the exception of one who now works part time for the institution. There was general attention to identifying emotions. I find that imperative in all types of conditions and therapy. However, it is always up to the client and their comfort level of how deep they want to go or can go and at what point they are ready to do so. They talked about setting boundaries and it is something that everyone should consider having. They encouraged involving children with groups of children or alone if they are acting out. They indicated it can be hard for children and I concur. They talked about the importance of following up with their groups after being released. One male who is gay indicated his coping tool was drinking. I find that this is common. I have actually asked people what their coping tools are and they quite frankly say drinking, thinking it is an appropriate tool. It is always nice to hear personal stories. And that is what it is - their stories. There are commonalities and then there are differences. They did talk about families and I have seen addicts and families together and sometimes separately. Sometimes there are also personality disorders and then there are multiple addictions. It can be very painful for everyone and there is often a lot of blame and acting out. People may be at different stages. They don’t think there is a problem, that it is the other person’s problem. Addicts also identify they may have a problem but are not ready to deal with it, that they have a problem but can’t deal with it now; that they acknowledge that they have a problem and are ready to deal with it. The latter is where my job is easier. I offer resources such as attending AA, going to a treatment centre for admission or as an outpatient. Joining groups, Al-Anon for their families to help them understand and cope. I also employ psychotherapy and have them examine new tools and hobbies and mindfulness. It is hard work and people may or may not be able to work at it at the moment. They need to feel ready or be at their lowest point, reaching rock bottom and losing their jobs, families etc……Sometimes families have to step back to heal themselves. This week I also read an article from Psychology today Oct 21, issue and it had an interesting account regarding men versus women by Dr Lantie Elisabeth Jorandby. I have to admit that though I see women, I have seen more men with addictions. It is usually when they have reached a point that they have to. Dr Jorandby states that her female patients may see her after struggling with alcohol for two years. The men she sees may take as long as five to ten years to reach the same level of addiction and sickness. She adds that a report in Alcohol Research and Health 2006, suggests women are less likely to take that step than men. I found this interesting because I would like to know more about the statistics of that. Is it correlated only or is there some evidence such as men being bread winners etc….. I have found that it is normally because people are about to lose their livelihood when they seek help but it is mainly to appease others unless they have come full circle to admit that they do actually need help. Dr Jorandby also talks about Gender-Specific treatment in rehab centres, due to specific gender - specific treatment. Anyhow that is enough about addiction for today. I have written about addictions numerous times in previous blogs. Have a good weekend. Stay safe. What do you think?

Women of Afghanistan - Summary of paper - before the Allied War

I promised that I would summarize my paper for you so here goes. Remember that I wrote this paper in my undergrad before we went to war with them. 9/11 changed everything. We should never forget the harm that fanatics cause. I am also watching a documentary “Ghosts of Afghanistan” where a Canadian Correspondent Graeme Smith reports. I recommend watching this from his perspective and experiences. He spent 15 years in Afghanistan reporting and returned to determine what went wrong. I haven’t completed watching it as I write this but I think I watched enough to recommend it to you. Paper condensed The Afghanistan woman has suffered poverty due to political and economic strife and patriarchy in the guise of religion. Afghanistan is situated in Central Asia and is bordered by Pakistan, Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and China. Agriculture and pastoralism prevailed in Afghanistan until 1978 for 60% of domestic production. 85% of Afghans were farmers but after the Soviet war, the irrigation system was destroyed and landmines made most of the land unfarmable. A generation of children would no longer learn the agricultural skills required. It became the world’s largest supply of opium. Women of the Afghan War depicts a woman having her baby on the street while her husband is being beaten for attempting to bring her to a hospital (Ellis, 96-97). Ellis reported that women dying while giving birth is the second highest in the world. By 1959 women were allowed to attend university and began working in professions which were earlier restricted such as flight attendants without face coverings. By 1964 the constitution was upgraded. All Afghanistan people were given the right to dignity, education and freedom to work. During 1978, a civil war began. The main reason for fighting was the communist government literacy programs for women. With the invasion of the Soviet Union (1979) opportunities for women increased with education, employment and professional training. Women students outnumbered men at the universities. Opportunities for women increased. Women were teachers, doctors and lawyers expanding to other occupations. In 1992 the Islamic State of Afghanistan took over the country and women began their descent. Women were urged to dress modestly, cover their hair, not wear makeup and not laugh in public. By 1994 when the Taliban Militia took over, all schools for girls were closed and women could no longer work outside the home. Prior to the Taliban take over of Kabul, 70% of teachers, 40% of physicians and about 50% of the civil service were women. The Taliban were extreme in requiring women’s faces be covered. Many had to borrow burqas to leave their homes. The Afghanistan woman had to cover her entire body, to ward off the male gaze. Those who revealed any skin were beaten. The Taliban utilized the “religious police” to beat women with sticks for showing skin. A western female aid worker was also beaten for not wearing a burqa. 96% of the women favoured women’s rights. I have done my best to abbreviate my paper for you but if you missed it and want to read it or search of references I have it posted here earlier page by page which I scanned and uploaded. I wrote this paper because I was at a talk at the university where Afghanistan women were speaking. The leader of the group informed me that she could not speak publicly because she had done so in the States and was informed that if she spoke again, she would be killed. The lecture made an impression on me. This leader also told me not to think that this could not happen in my country. “It can happen to you.” I do have my concerns regarding extremists in the world. I have my concerns about Afghanistan and the terrorism that breeds there, a safe haven for evil. My country isn’t perfect and I do take my freedom for granted. I marvel when I see someone who kissed the ground here and rejoices for freedom and we need to ensure that our country is safe for everyone who comes here to enjoy the liberties we may take for granted. We also need to be cautious of the extremists and the harm they cause. As a therapist I have heard the horror stories of women as well as men who have suffered in their homeland. Imagine your own people torturing you, raping you, killing you. I am also in awe of how many manage to be successful in their adopted country. Twenty years later, our soldiers have come home from Afghanistan and the Taliban rules again. How long will it take them to continue their damage towards women and the men who support them? They have started. But, how long could we have stayed in Afghanistan? What a mess. I hope the world open their arms to everyone who manages to escape. What do you think?

Webinar with Chief of Police, in California USA

During the evening of 9/11, I attended a webinar held by the Sisters in Crime. The speaker is the Chief of Police whom I won’t identify. The setting is along the coast line of California. Though it didn’t help much because my next book involves burnt corpses, which wasn’t his area of expertise. What does a Police Chief think when you ask him about evidence and burnt bodies? I am sure he has a list of all attendees and will check if any of us are imposters. That should be easy because I have a Nexus card and I should be easy to identify if I am ever found roaming aimlessly in the States. They did a thorough interview and examination before giving me my card. They have me on file. While many are afraid of their security from the States, I am happy to oblige. I want them to know who I am, if I am ever lost in America. Anyhow, aside from writing fiction regarding serial killers, I would imagine he determined that I am a law abiding Canadian who doesn’t go to the States to cause any problems. If I wasn’t Canadian, I would probably be American. You see my great grandmother ventured to California but she was homesick, so returned to Switzerland. So back to the webinar, they had readers as well as Writers which was different for me. I believe in Canada they only allow writers. My bad if I am wrong. The Police Chief is handsome which is always a plus. As for myself, my hair was blowing in the wind as I decided to sit on my back deck on a windy day. Poor guy. He must have wondered, is she a reader, writer, a killer or simply mad? I was quite impressed that he trained as a firefighter and airport police. He has been a Chief for four years and also worked in LAPD for 17 years. Did I mention he was also a grad with the FBI, Quantico? Too bad he couldn’t help me with evidence and burnt bodies when there is no trace of anything else. This is being taped so he had to be careful of what he would say. That is too bad because what happened is we got a breakdown of the structure of his organization. He mentioned that you have to be careful using a Taser near the water (never thought of that…zap). They have dive teams and K9 explosive detection. It was quite exciting and I thought…..where do I sign up? What I really liked is that they have a peer support unit. That is wonderful and so needed. The therapist in me chirped merrily to myself, with my hair wildly blowing in the wind. If I had a hat, I would have resembled the mad hatter. He talked about evidence underwater being similar to dry scenes. Of course you need a sample of the water and there is an additional problem of movement and debris (I would imagine that can drift away some evidence). Didn’t think of asking a question then because my hair was blinding me. He mentioned that the bay is very dark where he is. I would imagine when you can’t see, it may be a problem (and then there were lights). What I did learn was a bit about the Drug Cartel and how easy it is to get to the States by water. The Cartel moves further North along the coast as they get caught. Another thing was human smuggling. Before it was either drugs or human trafficking but now it appears they have switched to 50/50 - half human trafficking and half drugs on each boat. He mentions underground tunnels and I could see how they have a big problem over there. You know that they also smuggle drugs into the States by submarine? How much does it cost to rent one for smuggling drugs. Also, I learned that the FBI have jurisdiction three miles out from the Coast. The Chief mentioned the person who punched an airline stewardess and that falls under the FBI. That means Federal charges. Good, I say. Anyhow, enough about this webinar. I don’t know how much I will be using of this material but you never know. I am going to attend another six hour webinar with my American Sisters in Crime in October. I won’t bore you with that one. It is mainly about how to market myself, get my books on line etc…..I had been ignoring this side too long. I was trying to get my books on Amazon but they keep steering me to global which means I have to pay a monthly fee of 30 American rather than an individual fee. No wonder he could afford to fly to space. Have a good weekend. If you want to buy one of my books, they are on Shopify. I have to pay a monthly fee but it is easier to order from around the world. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

I voted!!!!!!!!!!!!!Now I can move on

I decided to take yesterday off. I did my civic duty and went to vote. I still had no idea who to vote for. Each political party had plus and minuses. Walking to the community centre was a man pushing a stroller and he passed me when he noticed he was making me nervous. He was amiable and told the volunteers that his son had an unemployed dad. I would have hired him on the spot. He was well spoken and wonderful to his son, which made me nervous when he was behind me. When you write about serial murderers, you never know who that could be behind you. I was next to make a point. Since I am self employed, I just said that I still didn't know who to vote for. The tall volunteer nodded saying he understood and I could have a few minutes. I grabbed my pencil and went to the makeshift booth to vote. I wondered if I should be counting the few minutes as I stared down. I noticed that the liberal candidate was first. My eyes scrolled down. How many seconds did I have left? Then I did it. I marked my X across the box and voted for someone I had discarded. I decided I couldn't vote this time as a process of elimination. I had to vote for someone who would probably not get elected but who had the greatest concern for the enviroment. Did I do the right thing? I wondered that as I placed my used pencil in a small cup. I left my booth proud that I didn't exceed a few minutes. "It came to me." I remarked leaving the area. I felt relieved. I didn't want to wait until the election day because I wanted to avoid crowds and I did. I decided that after such a strenuous difficult time of pondering who to vote for I could now relax. Who is going to win? I really don't know. I am taking a wait and see approach. It should be interesting this time around. I believe it will be between the Liberals and Conservatives. However, people can surprise you. After editing my book for a while, I went to socialize deciding to take a break. After all I deserved it. Trying to figure out who to vote for was painful. An acquaintance asked me quite angrily if I had voted for Trudeau. She was "pissed". It used to be so easy. When did it become scary to say who you voted for? She eased off after awhile telling me who she had voted for quite pleased with herself. I roared with laughter and couldn't stop. She didn't realize that who she had voted for was liberal and Trudeau's people. Here was a woman who dispises Trudeau and voted for him without knowing it. "Don't tell anyone." She pleaded. "I'll just tell my sister." I responded. However, this is so good, I decided to tell the world. I'll tell her next time. It is fun to socialize. Oh well. I did my duty. It was not easy for me, but it came. Who will I vote for next round? I have no clue! What do you think?

The dilemma of who to vote for - Holy Terror is a new candidate to be Prime Minister. Her message "Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha going to do. Whatcha going to do when I come for you. Bad boy; bad girl

It’s Saturday morning and I had no expectations of writing this day. I am still going over my first draft of my next book which I like to work on first thing in the morning when I am fresh able. I had expected to do some domestic work. I need to remember I have a Sisters of Crime event I want to attend virtually. A Chief of Police in the States will be speaking to us about human trafficking and I don’t want to miss that. So, let’s get back to what I am doing here today. I am trying to think of who to vote for, as a process of elimination. I can vote this weekend until Monday or on election day Mon, Sep 20. I just got my voting card in the mail yesterday, the same day we could vote. Of course I notified Election Canada, just in case someone got annoyed at me and took me off the voting list. I got a call back and I explained that I had just received it in the mail. I was reminded that due to COVID everything was late. How could I forget about COVID? I have a mask in my purse and several in my car just in case I take a lapse of judgement forgetting to grab one when I go out. Now back to who to vote for. Let’s stay focused and that is exactly what the problem was with the hopefuls to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. Trudeau was in the centre so he was surrounded with love from his fellow candidates. Sometimes, they would talk over each other and mostly they would take jabs at each other rather than focusing on the presented question. We had to debate in elementary school and I have to admit, we did a wonderful job in grade 8. We had our own panel and my argument was, “We will have a Black President during our time”. Now this is in grade 8. I am proud to say that my argument was no which I won. Then some time later I was in the same position and this time my argument was that we would should see a Black President in our time. That may not be the exact words, but I won again and I was so glad when Obama won the election in the States though I feared for his safety at the time. We were taught to stay focused, to do our research (I spent a lot of time in the library) and to win. We certainly didn’t go for blows. Well maybe I threw a few punches for fun which enhanced the excitement of my classmates. I think our grade 8 teacher could have prepared them for the debate. It started with the Quebec block. He was questioned about racism in Quebec policy. This obviously shocked him. He is not a racist. He is just promoting Quebec values. You can’t wear anything religious in positions of government. Hasn’t the communist countries participated in that in years? Then what actually surprised me was his views about religion. It is clear that he is anti-religion. He said that religion does not treat women equally. Is that the only reason? At one point the Green Party leader volunteered to educate him which got him going. However, aside from all this intrinsic prejudice I could understand why he has as many votes as he has had. He loves Quebec and its’ culture. He is fighting hard to retain the French language. Now I am not going to start about how the French in Europe can’t understand the French in Quebec. Ooops, I did. However, believe it or not I thought of giving him a sympathy vote, like in Big Brother. Aside from all that racism, he is a likeable guy. Why? He has the same passion my two Montreal cousins had for Quebec. Of course they would have loved it if I moved to Montreal but I knew that would be a career kill. But, I have to admit, I do love Montreal aside from all the political strife. I now understand why when I attended my cousin’s funeral, the priest in our vehicle was trying to convince me to join his church. It is a chapel and barely occupied. I told him I would if I lived in Montreal. It is nice to be wanted. My sympathy vote would have been for his views regarding a clean environment, getting rid of the pipelines, raising the pensions for seniors etc… I was surprised that I liked the rest of what he was saying. As you know I am very concerned about global warming which Trudeau has not stepped up on. The worse of G7, I heard over and over again. It is sketched in my frontal lobe. Of course I heard the Bloc Quebec man say at one point he didn’t care about the rest of Canada because he only cares about Quebec which he wanted to stay focused on but this was the wrong platform. However, I appreciated his honesty and authenticity. You know that when this man talks, he means it, right or wrong. At the end of the panel as he was leaving and faced questions from the media, he was highly upset that Trudeau did not speak up when he was accused of being a racist. When it was Trudeau’s turn he said he couldn’t speak up because it wasn’t his turn (yup…).Quebec Bloc was “pissed”. He also said that Toronto will be happy. Hey that’s me! And I was going to give you a sympathy vote. Not nice. However, I found him to be the most respectful person on the panel who took the punches he was receiving like a man (am I being fallacious?). He said he knew he wouldn’t be Prime Minister. Now you would question why he would be on a panel for just that reason? It made sense to me. He wanted to promote Quebec. He did but not as much as he wanted. Where is my grade 8 teacher? I have to admit I laughed more listening to this panel than I had watching all the comedy shows for the month. I watched only one hour and watched the rest which I taped in segments. It was simply too painful. I had to focus on the meat because there was more of the other which the narrator tried to keep in check. She needed an electrical charge to keep each person focused on the question. The most ridiculous question of the night? Would you let a loved one stay at a retirement home. Trudeau promised his mom he would not do that (yet). We know he keeps his promises. Sorry mom. Paul from the Geen Party was a star. She is a no nonsense speaker and it is too bad that there is so much strife in her party. Also, she kind of lost my vote when she went after the police. I support the police. Singh too disappointed when he didn’t have his plan ready. It’s coming today he promised. What would my grade 8 teacher do? She would fail me for not being prepared. He also spoke about police reform within the RCMP and well, I kinda like the police. They keep me safe from the bad guys with guns who don’t know how to shoot and so may shoot me accidentally. Now I can teach them how to shoot and should be able to make more money than all my education promises to make me. Yup, teaching the bad guys and girls how to shoot their big guns in the playgrounds and malls where there are so many cameras could be big business in Toronto. However, I would feel bad when they shoot and kill their intended target. I don’t want to feel bad, because I am not a Psychopath. I have a conscious. I still have a seminar to talk to you about that topic - most interesting. Now what really killed it for me for the NDP Singh, was when a question was asked about supporting the seniors or young people. Yup that did it because he said that he goes to these nice houses (am I hearing that he is going to the Upper class for votes?) and their concern is for their children not being able to afford to buy one. Ok, now this is serious business. What about the Middle Class? No wonder my class is disappearing. Now back to the big guns. Apparently O’Toole, Conservatives want to bring back the big guns that have been banned. He also wants to continue with the pipelines. Him and Trudeau won’t make it harder for high rollers to pay their taxes or hide it off shore (hey Trump) so guess who gets hurt - the diminishing middle class. So I am wondering will I get killed going to my favourite mall with a big gun from people who can’t shoot straight and the police won’t come because they have reduced funds or don’t want to hear about how bad they are for the way they deal with the bad guys with big guns? Then there is our very own Prime Minister. He did get punched throughout the debate even more than Mr Quebec. He is the immediate threat. He is the prettiest on the panel and looks are important. There is research about that. Thank God he shaved. He looks like his youthful charming self. He tried to be composed but you could see he was “pissed.” He made the mistake about using an analogy of throwing tomatoes at China. Boy, that was an opening for the others. We know where we stand with him. He made lots of promises, which heck, he promised before and it did not happen. Will his looks get him re-elected? I don’t think so this time around. I think from what I saw the Conservatives will win. Now that is just a thought. Should we make a bet? O’toole must have had my grade seven teacher. He has obviously been coached to keep on smiling. However it kinda looks forced, more like a grimace. That must be hard. Mr Quebec Bloc can teach him that it is ok not to smile and still look like a stand up guy. I emailed him because I am concerned about military pensions. I hear they want to take off 25%. Politicians are looking for money so ok, let’s take it from our veterans? He has not responded because he is kinda busy. But if you come from his town and it is an emergency, he can be reached. Ok, Conservatives win by a minority, Trudeau second, NDP third, Quebec next (the papers in Quebec had a field day the next day in support for their representative (how many sympathy votes there - enough to win? nah) and next the Green Party (mainly because of the internal strife). Who is last? The Peoples Choice? He wasn’t even given a seat to the table. Politics can be a cruel place where it goes beyond punches. When they think you are stupid, they can shun you. That is in Canada. So, who am I going to vote for? It is a dilemma. I know there is an idea outside Toronto, I can’t remember which city it is who is putting up lawn signs to promote voting for different characters such as those in Star Wars. The money goes to charity. I know! I can get a lawn sign and get a lovely photo of Holy Terror and encourage the neighbourhood to vote for her. I will bet you that all the empty lawns will accept the challenge if I went door to door. Vote for Holy Terror! She promises to not disappoint. She will not throw tomatoes at China no sireee! Ooops - no time. (https://www.silvaredigonda.ca) Hey maybe someone will knock on my door today and ask me to vote for them. The liberals and NDP came. Conservatives and Green, nada. There is still time. Oh boy what a dilemma. Holy Terror: What do you think?

The Internet Murders ( https://www.silvaredigonda.ca)

“It’s ok. You’re safe.” The voice was soft, yet very manly. “You just had a bad dream.” Sandra’s eyes were still closed, but the words she heard were comforting, which made her feel safe. She drifted back to sleep." Cory watched her sleep. He didn’t want to leave her side. He didn’t quite understand why he felt so drawn to her. She was so beautiful and helpless. He knew he would soon have to leave. His dog, Bobby, was home alone, and Bobby was his responsibility. He knew that the dog needed to go out and do his business, and he didn’t want a mess to clean up. He reluctantly raised himself from the chair, close to the woman who had so narrowly escaped with her life. He would not be returning. He was never seen as a creepy type of guy and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t even know her. He just did what he would have done for anyone. He began to walk towards the door to leave, stopped, took one more look at her and left. He signed out at the nursing desk. They had placed the girl right by the nursing station so they could monitor her and her visitors. The police had asked for this safety procedure.

Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

9/11

Every year on September 9, I think of all the people who were killed, survivors who tell their stories and the families who suffered so much. It is a reminder of how precious our freedom is, our safety is and our morals are. I honour them by ensuring I watch the documentaries of that day. This year I watched the heroic dogs who helped so much on that day and the following days. I watched about the women heroes that day and I have taped a series of the last 20 years between then and now. I still have to watch that. We also have a now retired firefighter from the GTA tell his own story about how he drove there from here to help. He and about three others from his team drove as fast as they could and was directed in New York to the site. They were attached to a firestation. He mentioned how someone tried to give him money which was collected for a days work. He declined, which makes me only prouder. I believe we lost 25 Canadians that day as well. A year later, I was in New York on vacation and stood there looking at the memorials placed on fences and stood to look at the ruins. I love New York City. There was a time I wanted to live there but our lives often takes us in different directions. God Bless.