Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

Silva Redigonda « Find a Therapist

It has been busy and will not be doing too much today!

The OAMFT three day event was cancelled due to lack of people wanting to attend but we did have one day of networking. There has been a decrease of 10% membership and so again with another association the talk was about what they can do for us. It was a great day and I sat with chums from grad school who I actually see once a year at the conference. I did have fun but did not really learn anything. I need to learn. Funds are low and since I did have a wonderful suite, jacuzzi, two large screen tv's in each room and a separate shower etc....with mandatory starbucks coffee to boot, I did not hesitate to donate when someone mentioned it. So many things were booked for the conference and it still had to be paid for so to ensure people would come, it was free. That is rather sad, but I understand to be expected at conferences opened to the world. Trauma is of great interest to me and I want to always be up to date with it so I learned about another avenue I can take. As part of the college, I need to have 40 hours of education every two years. I am also keeping track of my hours and should be doing that for the books and research I do on my own, so that is something I should keep in mind. I do record each seminar; conference I now go to. I do not realize how much I do until I see it listed in hours and I have to stop taking that time for granted and record all. I definitely had me time and I count that as a mini vacation. I only stayed the one night regrettably due to my pets having separation anxiety. So, the final banquet was finished about 7:30 pm and though tempted to stay, I drove home much to the happiness of all. Me time is a priority and I do take it when ever I can. Yesterday, I attended the FSNA meeting which is held twice annually. I was late getting there due to traffic, parking and congestion downtown. I normally leave much earlier but I had other things to do since I have no hot water at home. Hot water and a new dryer will be arriving tomorrow hopefully. Heating water can be consuming and I am glad I am living in this era. The vegetarian food was mostly gone but someone found me two bites worth and I piled cheese on my plate with a few treats. Oh, well, mia culpa. I did get one free pedometer. Now I have two to lose. I was sworn in again for another two years as Assistant Benefits Officer with the Executive Board. Once again, I read out about inteqrity etc....I shall be......I will be so ethical by the end of all this. If you are a retired Public Servant with the Federal Government please join us. There has been a big change with people from the National Executive resigning but I am hopeful for positive change. We have a new electee who is a Judge and that is what we need as well to help each other. I found a similar request of what can we do for you? What would you like to see from us? There is also name changes. It is now SAGE, rather than FSNA. I have found a lot of consistency in all my associations regarding what we want and how to get there, name changes etc......The public is feeling their pockets emptying too much and so are becoming more discriminating in what they want to pay for and which associations they wish to belong to. FSNA is also increasing their memberships but it is no where near the therapy side of the house. At the meeting with OAMFT they were saying that the average member pays about 1500, 1600 a year annually and so that tells me I am spending over two grand a year to do my work and that is only for associations and insurance. Have I decided what I am going to drop? No. I have decided to give my self three to four years to make that decision. However, I cannot take on anything new without dropping one existing association. I have friends who have gone in different directions and I just love seeing them and catching up. Everyone is scattered once agin and busy and so it is difficult to see each other. Again, at OAMFT I notice some disconnect from those living in rural areas. As professionals we should always be up todate with all training and terminology so I wonder how that sometimes gets lost. With todays technology of reaching out everywhere I have to ask why some people do not have up to date information. In the city I suppose we come into contact with so many people and it is common everyday language related to our field that I try to use. I imagine if there is an area where a therapist is alone she or he may somehow be left in the wayside. HOwever, that should be corrected. One of the things that still keep me here is the opportunities that I have, the great universities, the professional development etc.... plus the last house I liked in Niagara Falls had all the toys I liked with a grand pool and family room etc....but it had problems which I am not willing to take on such as water leakage, etc...Now back to the serious side at the Federal Retiree meeting, I mentioned that Via Rail gives 25% off for veterans and military in case there were veterans in the room. Two veterans came to seek me out at the end of the meeting and I was so pleased to be able to give them some information. One told me he joined the military when he was sixteen to go off to war. I couldn't hug him enough. When I joined FSNA there were quite a few veterans and yearly I saw less. I thought there were no more so to see these two elderly men was so endearing for me. So for the most part I have completed all meetings, conferences etc for this month and now I can focus on my clientale base and book, in that order. Next month I shall be attending a seminar with the new law regarding assistant dying and how it affects me as a therapist and pastoral counsellor. I will also be selling my two books and signing at York Unversity, Show case at Central Square for one day, I believe it is the 10th. So, do not hesitate to contact me if you want an appointment for counselling or if you want to buy one of my books. The elections last night was very interesting and I taped some to watch this morning. It seems that change is in the air everywhere. I wonder what that will all mean moving forward. What do you think?

Personality Disorders - psychology notes cont.......from.........

Personality Disorders developmental delay Over 90% of Schizophrenics are never arrested. Why some people come into frequent contact while most never do? - because subset of that population have particular personality traits making it difficult to get along. Personality Disorder - if person has a persistent or enduring collection of traits that interferes with their ability to maintain close relationships or ability to sustain employment or causes them significant subjective distress. Avoidant Personality Disorder - A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation beginning by early childhood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by four or more of the following: 1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fears of criticism, disapproval or rejection. 2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked. 3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed. 4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - (will go to party if has to, but will not say much). 5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy (similar idea). 6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing or inferior to others. 7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing. Dependant Disorder. Primary criterion for Dependant Disorder is one up on Avoidant because they have found someone that did not reject them and maybe values them. - can abuse them etc…and will still stay. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder A pervasive pattern of preoccupations with orderliness, perfectionism and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early childhood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four or more of the following: is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost. shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (eg. is unable to complete a project because his/her own overly strict standards are not met). is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity). is overconscientious, scrupulous and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification. is unable to discard worn out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value. is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things. adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others. Money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes. shows rigidity and stubbornness. To be continued with Schizotypical Personality

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!

Yesterday afternoon as I finished my day at the office, I returned home and decided to do my shopping for Thanksgiving. Needless to say I have a lot of treats (so much for healthy food). I looked around me and was thankful that I have the opportunity to live in a city that is so multi-cultural. There is so much to gain in such a diverse culture - great food as well. So, I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving! Instead of thinking today what you do not have in your life, why not take a moment to think what you do have. What do you think? I can hear you.................. I wish you a wonderful weekend.

Update

It has been busy as usual and I cannot believe that I have turned on the furnace. Since my dryer has died, I have to eventually shop for a new one, but first I should put the hard top on my car. I have finally completed reading two books. I recommend Froma Walsh's "Strenghening Family Resilience." The book is recommended for therapists, however, I think that is a very easy and basic read for the public who want to understand each other so they can move and grow in relationships. The other book I read for pleasure is Ashley Judd, the actress' biography. Yes, you can have two careers or more if you want. It is always amazing to me how people think that they can dictate to others how they should live their lives. I had no idea she was so interested in such important causes and an advocate for them. You need to read the books for more. I have returned to my own book and realized that I already wrote 130 pages. I am beginning from Chapter One, ensuring that the teaser in my second book is the same as my first draft. I made a few changes in my draft and am placing my clues, characters and points on my brand new white board. I realize that I would like to have an accent wall as a blackboard or whiteboard because I think I will need to have more space. However, I do not think that would be a good selling feature. Friday I went to what I thought was the assistant dying conference but I mistook the months. That will be held next month at the same time. It was great to network and I learned that Niagara may be underserviced though my fees may be a problem. I take my time for any big move and may just stay where I am. I joined a club with a big pool so that desire to have my own pool may have diminished, naught! I noticed that they took the availability for a mass to be said at one hospital away and I have to ponder why any hospital would take away a Catholic mass which would be very important for people who are suffering so much. I saw the benefits of a chapel with religious services for people who are sick; dying and their families. I find this somewhat disturbing. Even at Disney World I got to go to mass at one of the hotels. The conference wasn't about that however, I learned the tidbits from networking which is very beneficial. All of Ontario got together with different Satellite locations from where we were. It became very evident for me that those working from remote areas do not have the same accessabitly to the benefits of education and updates I have here in Toronto. That is a constant, it seems. I was asked again to volunteer for a fund raising by making some sessions of psychotherapy for free as a prize. I am checking into the ethics of that. I haven't had that one before. I must have volunteer me stamped somewhere on my body. As I look outside my window, I see how gloomy it is, but my interior space is nice and pleasant. I am having a good time with my life. So, my next few entries will be about Personality disorders from my psychology class. I always write my notes (did you know that it is more effective in retaining memory than typing it?). I am almost at the end of one note book, so then I will discard it and just keep my notes on usb and on the internet if I ever want to. I am also pondering placing my books in some bookstores here in Toronto. I won't make any money doing that, however, I need to consider it to get Book Two out there. So far with both books, book one is selling more than previous years and book two which I thought would be very powerful is not quite gaining interest. So, I have to explore more options. I wrote a lot more but my computer froze and it is now lost so I shall leave you by saying: try to balance your life and your relationships, gravitate towards nice people who fulfill you and are kind. What do you think?

Word on the Street - What a beautiful day at the new venue.

I could not have asked for a better day. Though I could not see the waterfront from where I was because it was hidden by tents, I had a clear view of the CN Tower and the condo right next to it which I had seen from within when I was in grad school. The only reason I did not buy it was because of my pets. They love the outdoors too much. What some people will do for their pets. Probably not a wise financial move, because it was a bargain. Sometimes people cannot see beyond an unfurnished place but looking out at the CN tower from one full length side and watching planes land from another with a full view of the water, what more could I ask for? How could I write from there? Easy. Aw......Anyhow, there were many interesting people who stopped at my booth. Some were attracted to my Italian name and they would buy a book. My first book, "Hey Guy Buy Me" was the seller once again. I couldn't believe it though I make more money on that one. I had one guy come to me and complained about the same book. He bought it last year and was hoping for a gem. What he got, he told me was a lot of talk and nothing else beyond the humour (which I don't think he found very funny). Another man came to look at my second book "For love of Country: Military Policewoman" and he wanted to know if it would be better than Eisenhower's biography. Nope I cannot compete with the 34th President. So, he did not buy my book. One guy bought two copies of my first book just because I am Italian born. I really should join an Italian Club. I also had some very nice and interesting people stop by to talk. One had moved to Hamilton to buy his dream home and he offered his opinion about Niagara on the Lake. I won't share that. I always like to hear the perspective of people who are from Toronto living outside the city. There was an American from Maryland who was very upset about our traffic. Join the club. I suggested he complain to the Mayor, saying he likes tourism. Maryland wanted to know if it was the drug etc.....one. "No we have a new one." I replied reserving comments. There were a lot of tourists and I enjoyed having them stop by. I am proud of my city and do like it when people are having fun here. Then there were the activists. No I don't want to sign anything. I don't want to stop any bill. Hey I believe Canada's security is paramount! Whatever it takes. There was a lot of soliciting but how do you control that? I can't even get rid of them when they come to my door. But all in all a wonderful day. My next booksale will be at York University in November. I have to sort out some paperwork and then post it. So, if any of you were there, you did not tell me. Rest assured I had a wonderful day in the sun and at the end of it enjoyed a Pizza with a glass of wine. Nice.

Rejected for writer's grant.

Oh well, I got rejected. No funding for me. No sireeee. I guess they didn't like the opening for "The Internet Murders." At least I tried. I am feeling sick today and so rested much of the day. I am presently sitting in my backyard with one of my pets nearby enjoying the first day of fall in my pj's. Tomorrow I will will re-read a student's paper so I shall be fresh Friday. If a student writes, than I should honour the student by reading and re-reading her papers. It was not too long since I had her experiences and more. So, I am fortunate enough to be able to do this resting thing. How do you take care of yourself when you get a bug? Do you rest? Do you plug on, til you drop? What I do is stretch out, watch movies and rest. I do hope to see some of you on Sunday. Til then take care of yourselves and stay healthy. What do you think?