Book reviews - Dinner at the Home Sick Restaurant and Lives of the Saints (old paper)

THE COMMUNITY EFFECTS 

                                                                       

                                                            ON THE 

                                                                       

                                                                                                     SOUL

                       

The Community Effects on the Soul

The texts Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant  by Anne Tyler and Lives Of The Saints by Nino Ricci both demonstrate the effects the role of the community has in the lives and fates of Pearl and Christina.  This essay will argue that both Pearl and Christina were influenced by the community to conform to a way of life not of their preference and that their reaction to this influence ultimately led to Christina's death and Pearl's isolation.  

                    The Pressure of Conformity

  Both Pearl and Christina live in a community where society dictates the norm of what is expected of a woman.  Women should be married, as in Pearl's case and married women should behave virtuous as is expected from Christina.  Pearl and Christina are both resistant in their actions from the pressures of the community, yet eventually succumb to the pressures.

Pearl is conscious of how her single status is considered inferior.  Being thirty and not married is defiant  but pressure to marry takes its toil.  Pearl understands how the community is reacting towards her,  "They had thought she would be an old maid.  They'd grown tactful …insultingly tactful.  Talk of others' weddings and confinements halted when Pearl stepped out on the porch"  (Tyler 6) Pearl also feels that education is considered a finality to the prospect of marriage, "She felt that going to college would be an admission of defeat."  (Tyler 6)  Marrying Beck and leaving her community immediately because

of his career, gives the reader insight that she marries because of peer pressure rather than love.  This insight is reflected by her not being happy just by being married to Beck.  She appears to need the attention that marriage provides in her community.  "She never even got to enjoy her new status among her girlfriends…Everything seemed so unsatisfying."  (Tyler 6&7)  

The stigma of single life continues to haunt Pearl.  This is demonstrated when Beck leaves her.  Pearl behaves as if this has never occurred.  Not even her children are informed of the truth.  Pearl reflects how the community had responded to her single life prior to marrying Beck,  "They had been so sure no man would marry her.  She could never tell them what had happened." (Tyler 11)  Pearl's pretense that her husband is away on business extends a lifetime.  As an adult, her son Cody recalls, "First he leaves and Mother pretends he hasn't… A thirty-five year business trip…"(Tyler 284)       

  In Lives Of The Saints Christina gives the illusion of not caring what the community thinks about her.  But from the beginning a simple act as changing her clothes after being bitten by a snake while alone with a man provides an insight to the opposite being true.  When Christina's son returns with help he notices," She had put on a new dress, a sleek flowered one…and had combed out her hair." (Ricci 11) 

Comments from the community such as, "You're too proud" (Ricci 46), and "Walking around like a princess" (Ricci, p 47) illustrate that the community feels that Christina is arrogant.  This is reinforced when Giuseppina, Christina's 

Childhood friend tells her, ,"…You can't afford to walk around like a princess.  It turns people against you."  Christina becomes pregnant from a man other than her husband who is in America and Giuseppina's  predications come true.  The community rejects Christina, "no one stopped by anymore…and if people passed my mother sitting in the front of the house they did not look at her…"(Ricci 52)  The effects of the community on Christina is demonstrated by her withdrawal.  Vitto relates the changes in his mother, "My mother began more and more to keep inside…sometimes simply shut up in her room; and she and my grandfather hardly spoke.." (Ricci 52).  Ultimately the pressure from the community is too much for Christina.  In her own moment of desperation she succumbs to a an act of superstition as was advised by her childhood friend, "you take a chicken …drain out the blood, then cut out the heart …wash your hands in the blood…pour into the ground".  Christina had found it humorous and ridiculous at the time (Ricci 54).  The community effects her so profoundly that Christina eventually performs the act.   Vitto provides this insight,  "Now the mystery of the blood on my mother's hands explained itself, for on a wooden block in front of the chicken run lay the limp headless body of a chicken…and a pan of blood resting on the ground nearby (Ricci 114). 

The community's rejection of Christina continues and it is not until Christina's behavior demonstrates a lack of defiance by attending church after a time of absence does this change.  Vitto relates, "And so our home which for

months had known only a lenten silence, was once again filled with a little life and conversation…my mother's presence at church…taken  perhaps as some kind of a sign…of the repentance and guilt…" (Ricci 146)

Both Christina and Pearl succumb to the pressures demanded from the community.  Pearl feels the need to be married, to be socially accepted. Rather than face life without a husband after Beck leaves her, Pearl continues a life of deception to avoid the stigma of being without a husband.  Christina's rejection by the community causes her to perform a superstitious act to redeem herself and to return to church. These women are similar in allowing the community to influence their lives.

                            My Soul Thee Takes

The community leads to Pearl's isolation from others as she attempts to keep her life apart from the community who has judged her.  Christina is led to her death in her attempt to escape the community.  Both women are victims of their community who has condemned them.

It is not until nearing the end of the text Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant that the reader understands the gravity of the community role's in 

diminishing the spirit of Pearl.  "….she hadn't been anyone's wife for over a third of a century; that she'd been frantic, angry, sometimes terrifying mother; and that she'd never shown the faintest interest in her community but dwelt in it like a visitor…doors tightly shut when at home.  That her life had been very long indeed 

but never full, stunted was more like it."(Tyler 285).  This is not the same woman who was once social, happy and content with life before the community 

passed judgement.  Ezra brings this to light has he reads his mothers diary to her recollecting her past, "I baked a few Scottish Fancies but they wouldn't do to take to a tea…I went out behind the house,…I believe that at just this moment I am absolutely happy." (Tyler 277)  It is through these diaries that glimpses of Pearl come to light.  Ezra enlightened indicates, " She [Pearl] had once been a whole different person…had spent her time swinging clubs with the Junior Amazon and cutting up with the Neal boys…and taking first prize at the Autumn Recital Contest (Tyler 264).  Pearl was driven into isolation, Ezra reflects, "Certainly she saw no friends; she had none.  As near as he could recall, she had never had friends."(Tyler 259)

Pearl had many suitors to choose from in her youth, "Frank brought her perfumed blotters and a box of …candy…Roy couldn't seem to tear himself away…Burt Tansy took her to the comic opera…Arthur…Hugh McKinley…"(Tyler 268).  Pearl had no problems attracting men but because she remained single when others considered it inappropriate, it reflected negatively on her persona.  The contrast of her full and happy life before being judged by the community and then trying to hold on to the image of marriage to avoid rebuke by the community leads to her isolation. The final obsession of being married is fulfilled at death at her eulogy.  The minister who never met 

Pearl reads," Pearl Tull, the minister said, was a devoted wife…" (Tyler 285) She had accomplished her deceit to her end.

Christina lives in a very social village.  The desperation and conflict of her own beliefs in contrast to the community leads to a nervous breakdown, "Your mother's staying in the hospital a few days." (Ricci 116).  Christina manages to escape her community, only to be faced with another on the ship to America.  The person she will need the most not only judges her as well but his own problems with alcoholism causes her death."  It was not the first death for this physician who Christina considers, a "drunken idiot" (Ricci 212).  Christina's own death is foreshadowed when the doctor recalls the complications of the last pregnant woman on board three month earlier, "The baby, unfortunately was stillborn." (Ricci 217) When Vitto is sent for his help, the doctor responds, "You're that woman's son, aren't you, the pregnant one who thinks she's a princess." (Ricci 228)  

Ricci and Tyler both demonstrate the influence a community has on its' victims.  Christina and Pearl were both judged.  Pearl acts the part of a married woman through out her life which takes away the joy of life and of living free to love.  Christina more defiant manages to escape after realizing the community is consuming her.  Her escape is not complete for another community is there to judge her, one that Pearl avoided after her marriage to Beck.  The person Christina will need the most on the ship has already judged her.  This judgement from a doctor is ironic due to his incompetence as a physician.  If he had thought 

more about Christina as a person,  he would have remained sober and would have had Christina monitored after giving birth.   Both Pearl and Christina failed to be able to live the life they wanted.  Though Pearl and Christina both left the community they lived in, Pearl chose to do so in isolation.  Christina bolder than Pearl escapes the country only to die at the hands of another community in judgement of her.  These two women were victims of a community who betrayed them.

Bibliography

Ricci, Nino.  Lives of the Saints.  Toronto: Cormorant, 2004.

Tyler, Anne.  Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant.  Toronto: Random House, 1996.

  

Two Veterans commit suicide - Veteran out there please get help. Do not kill yourself.

    I was going to write today about my seminar yesterday, about Mississauga, about Christmas and about a hoarder the news broadcasted, who is sleeping on his porch with his cats while his house is being cleared of debris and his belongings.   I was going to write about how the community is complaining.  Not one person was interviewed who had anything good to say.  Not one has offered him a place to sleep or is assisting him.  They are simply embarrassed or annoyed or whatever.  I was not impressed with his neighbours.  Here is a man who needs help and is not getting it.  However,  I have just finished reading my emails and what was sent to me from a retiree is something about shame on Canada and the news that two veterans have killed themselves.

     Christmas though a happy occasion for some is devastating to others.  That is why I never take holidays during the Christmas season.  It is when people kill themselves.  One veteran who kills himself, is one too many.

     There is a lot of hoopla for veterans when they become crippled and when they die.  We have our Highway of Hero's to honour them.  What do we have for those who are alive?  What do we do for those who appear physically healthy?

    I had a personal friend, a priest who served loyally for over 20 years in the military.  He was also in the Persian Gulf War.  I was at his Parade when he received his medals.  I was there when he told me how a priest was killed in South America for defending two youths who were imprisoned.  The youths however were released because of him and the mother thanked him, by dictating that it was his job (the priest) to die for his vocation.  There was no concern that he had died defending her son.  There was no need to die.  My friend had a story to tell and I always encouraged him, to tell it for the world, to know.
     I was there when he suffered because of those too young to die affected him.  I was there to encourage him to take a weapon to defend himself.  Clergy have a choice to carry arms.  Or at least then.  So many things have changed and I have been told that I am fortunate to have been spared the changes.
   
    I was there when he became ill with Lou Gerhrig's disease which killed him but not until it ravaged his body.   He had to be hospitalized. He told me he wanted to go to Sunnybrook Hospital as a veteran but they had told him no.  I was stunned.  I had been at a retiree meeting years ago where they said that veterans were dying and were wondering what the hospital would  do with that wing.  It was built for veterans.  I contacted the hospital and the same was re-iterated as my old friend had told me.  I couldn't believe it and I contacted Veteran Affairs.  I  was told that because he was not a veteran from a World War, he did not qualify.  I argued that it was not right and the person I talked to agreed with me.  This man was abandoned by the government.  There was nothing I could do.  The last time I saw him was Christmas day last year.  I always made a point of visiting him at Christmas.  He had no family here.  I told him I had wrote to some editor about him being rejected by Sunnybrook and he replied, "good."  He added,  "the military taught us how to live among the people."  That is why he chose to be on the floor where he was among the people, rather than other priests.  But in his heart he wanted to be with other veterans.  His death was very upsetting to me.  He was much older than me.  He was the brother I never had.

       If you are a veteran out there and feel alone, please be aware that you are not alone.  I know how much you have sacrificed for your country.   I also know how you may feel alone or abandoned by those you have protected.  There is no job out there that sacrifices more of one self.  You are not alone. There are people who are you.  Find the person you need to talk to.  If one rejects you, find another.  No one should suffer their pain alone.  The services in place may be inadequate but there is such a place and such a person...........find him or her.  And Canada, "Shame on you."

Book sale at Show Case, York University

     My book sale at York University was fun as usual.  I re-connected with people I know.   I saw quite a few pictures of new babies. I also met some new interesting people. The woman who sat next to me this year was selling her art. I loved her bright cheerful colours. The islands influenced her work. Her husband is also an author and he is just as interesting. He is a retired professor and is also writing his second book. He however donates all his proceeds to a Lepercy foundation. I cannot afford to do this even though 10 percent would be my objective, if it was affordable. It costs so little to cure so many young people and prevent such a devestating desease from damaging and crippling so many people. Yet it is not being done. It is rather sad.  In some countries it is hidden from the world.  Our country could do more to pressure these countries.  What is that called?  Politics?   I did not know it was a problem in India as well.  He was not selling his book this year, but I shall buy it next year when he brings copies. My book is nothing so serious. I wrote it for fun in two months. My second book is more serious and it is most unfortunate that I always have to put it aside. Soon I will be sending off the final documentations for two Associations that I belong to. Then I will prepare for the new college. If I could have two weeks just to myself in the middle of nowhere land,  I could finish this book. Life gets in the way. However, I love all that I do and am constantly re-organizing my schedule and time. I go to York University once a year to sell my book, but more importantly I get re-energized by the people I meet. York is a fun place, full of interesting people. I love talking to the students, professors and staff equally. It is days like that I feel tempted to return to academia but I want to stay firm.  I was also asked how I am enjoying retirement. I reply that it is busy. To the University of Toronto, I return twice a year unless it is for a conference. I volunteer once a year as my way of giving back at my college book sale. I enjoy greeting the people into our building and hearing their stories. There are so many interesting people who enter and the topic is books, what they are studying or teaching and what brings them to the college. I also attend their culture night held in January. The artistic songs, playing of instruments, comedy and dance from both the students and professors always leaves me in awe. I am so fortunate to be an ulumni from both universities. I have learned so much from both. At Guelph University I took only one course that I needed and it too was nice. I really enjoyed the food in their cafeteria. It would be nice to check out each university and take one course just to compare. Now I must begin my day. Thank you for reading my blogs. What do you do? Are you happy doing it? What can you change to find something you like to do? What do you think?

Disaster in the Philippines

I notice that one of my readers today is from the Philippines. The news is full of reports and updates. It is sad to hear people beg for help, but help is coming. A woman recently asked me why God permits this? I spoke about global warming and free choice. But, in reality disasters have always occurred. What I marvel when I see the news is how countries bound to help. I also notice which countries are not helping. I dream of a world where everyone unites to help those who need it. Our country is matching donation dollars. I just want to say to my Philippine reader that I am thinking of your country and am watching and praying for you as many others are. I believe that prayer is very powerful and there have been a few studies to demonstrate that. From the sadness, there is a glimpse of humanity, as people gather to put aside their quarrels and unite for a greater purpose. This is what I call hope.

Continue from The Developing Brain : Forms of Mercury (Hg) Psychology notes

There are three forms of Mercury: - metallic (silver stuff in thermometer) - Inorganic compounds - Organic compounds (eg. Methyl mercury) (all exists in the environment) Biotransformation Metallic and inorganic mercury | Algae >> organic mercury compounds | fish | humans certain fish concentrate mercury - some fish: swordfish; tuna are high mercury concentrates Hunter - Russell Syndrome ME Hg poisoning in adults: - peripheral sensory loss (start to experience numbness and tingling in limbs and can result in loss of sensation - Ataxia (movements - cerebellum) - Dysarthria - problem forming speech - tunnel vision - people lose peripheral vision Large - Scale Me Hg Poisoning episodes . Minimata Japan (1956 -65) Industrial Plant dumped some form of mercury in the Bay. Fish became contaminated. There was a major fish diet among the people in the area. They therefore had higher mercury. It is different with alcohol which diffuses mother to fetus. It goes back and forth and does not get caught in the tissue. It's in the body for a short time. In the case of heavy metal, once in the body tissue, it does not go away in a few hours. Many cases are overt in adults and children - Children are born with problems. IRAQ (1972) - There was a large shipment of grain seed sent there and it was treated with pesticides. It was milled to make bread and not planted. It effected perhaps 6000 people among them who died. There is a considerable amount of studies. Japan was gradual. Iraq, acute in about a month. Certain females were pregnant therefore infants and fetuses were effected. Minamata Disease became a concern. There is delayed milestones of motor development (mom may not be sick and the fetus may not be apparent abnormal - after a few months there was slow development - similar to cerebral palsy) - abnormal reflexes, muscle tone and movements - difficulties feeding - severe language and cognitive delays It lodges in hair and teeth. Hair has mercury in it. It can be determined how long the person was exposed. Effects of Me Hg on the developing brain 1. Toxic effects - diffuse cell loss throughout neocortex (Adult damage limited. The brain of children exposed after birth is more widespread in fetal brain (killing cells toxic) 2. Teratogenic Effects - - abnormal neuronal migration - abnormalities in cortical layers - cerebellum cortex abnormalities - micr cephally (reduced brain size) to be continued............with Lead (PB) exposure

Another conference - More to think about

Yesterday I was at another conference with another association that I belong to - the Spiritual one. The speaker who has written quite a few books did not impact me as much as my previous conference. I found this one too basic; too 101. I did not buy a book this time. I still have much to read. At my table, were students and some old classmates who I like very much and who I missed seeing. In the next table was my mentor and more previous classmates who are now working towards being instructors/supervisors. I enjoyed the food but did notice that one person left to buy a sandwich and that tells me that the menu needs to be revised. No one should feel that they need to eat elsewhere when food is provided. I have no desire to be a supervisor or instructor. I have been an instructor in another field. I networked and talked to my network of friends about starting a peer review. It was decided that getting together once a month is a good idea to discuss our work, etc....This is something I have been working on for some time. This is my last year getting any student rates. My hours are over. My internship is over. My mentorship is coming to an end. As I looked around me at my previous instructors, new bushy tail students, my peers etc....I saw a group of people coming together for the same purpose - that of helping others with their hardships, their struggles, their sufferings and their preparation for dying. I thought of my own internship at working at a hospital with people living and dying. I worked with cancer and HIV patients. I worked with HIV. It was not my interest. I wanted to work on a floor where I would be exposed to a variety of illnesses. However, when as an intern we were being brought to the different areas, one head nurse said something that no one else said. He said we were needed. So, because no one in my small group wanted to work with this group for their own reasons - I decided to work with the Cancer and HIV patients. It was the most difficult work I did as an intern. Patients not only suffered because of their illness but some also suffered from the stigma of having such a disease. As my days of being mentored are coming to an end, I am grateful to my mentor and some of my supervisors from my growth in this stream. The speaker spoke of the integration of different streams or school of thought. I have always integrated all I have learned. When I was studying psychology, a PHD student whom I had hired to tutor me for stats told me that I am psychology. I had told him that I was not interested in doing research. I wanted to help people with a variety of issues. That is what I have been doing. However the money is-in research. What the States has eventually comes here good and bad (Toronto the good is obviously no longer considered Toronto the good). Adler's School of Psychology is now in Toronto and they are accredited. When I was considering my Masters, I called many schools and did not opt for them because the focus was too much research, specialization, or that it was not accredited. I think research is extremely important. I just don't want that to be my focus or work. As I look back at what I have accomplished and my journey towards helping others, I am aware that my entire life has been helping others. I chose careers where I would always be doing that in one form or another. What I have learned is that people have their own specific reasons for choosing their specific work. In my undergrad I heard that some professors were not supportive of students. In grad studies I did not find this but I did not care for one professor who thought it was his way of thinking or the highway. I suppose what I learned yesterday was nothing new from the speaker, but I looked around at the audience and realized that there were many students. I have been so fortunate to have had such wonderful people around me supporting me and that is what I would advise students to do. Surround yourself with people who have a heart. There are studies that reveal that what is even more important for a client who is seeking help is their connection with someone providing counselling, therapy etc....than the knowledge the person has who they are seeing. I don't have the stats at the moment but there it is. I think that having knowledge is extremely important but I normally ask if a client who is seeing me is comfortable with me. For anyone seeking this type of work I urge them to find a mentor they can learn from and feel safe with. Hang in there. I will be a student for life. Knowledge is very important to me because I realize how much there is too learn. I once told one of my Advance level supervisors that I know nothing. She understood me and my comment. There is just so much information out there. I learn in academia, I learn from workshops, I learn from conferences and I learn from my own clients. They are a gift to me. So for students out there, find someone with a heart to mentor you. For clients I urge you also to find someone who you feel comfortable with. I realize that people read this blog from all over the world and I feel honoured. If you are considering seeing someone, do not stop at the first, if you are not comfortable with that person. Check also what their qualifications are. In Ontario soon people without the proper qualifications will no longer be able to provide psychotherapy. This is long overdue in my opinion. What do you think?

Post Hallowe'en and conference

I do not normally do anything resembling work on Sundays but today I shall make an exception because I shall be attending two more conferences this month and want to keep you up to date. But- first Hallowe'en. I have no more excuses not to go out for Hallowe'en since I had so many adults who came to my house for treats. The eldest must have been in her seventies. I called her mama, as I put a chocolate in her bag. They were all dressed up too. I did not expect too many people because it was raining but I had more than previous years. I stopped counting at 150. The costumes were amazing and I finally got to see Dracula. "I have been waiting for you all night!" I exclaimed to the boy. His mother looked at her child and said, "I told you, he is so yesterday!" "No" I responded not wanting to make Dracula feel all alone. I also could not help noticing a mother telling her child not to do that or this before the little kid had a chance to get the candy. This was accompanied by a light slap each time. "Stop that" I repeated each time. "Don't do that." I am sure that she did not realize that she was doing it since it was so automatic. no = slight slap. I really think that all parents should have a solid week of training before having a child. You need a test for driving, a test for passing any subject but for the most important job, a parent will ever have is experimental learning. I loved the conference. I loved meeting old classmates and reconnecting with instructors and other people in my field old and new. It was hard for me to leave after the first day because so many were staying overnight at the hotel. They even had a pool and the price was lowered for our association. However, this time, I left every one behind and drove home until the next morning bright and early. The food was wonderful and I came out of there with new ideas and tools to implement in my own practice. The speaker was Michele Weiner-Davis, an American living in New York City. She is very personable and I can see why she is so successful. She also has years of working with couples at the brink of divorce and is very capable of bringing them back to a place of partnership. One of the things she provides is two day therapy for clients. Though that would be very expensive for clients, I think that it is well worth providing and will implement that into my own practise. I have been in the mindset that more than one session is too much and that people need to process. But what I have come to learn in my own practise from those on the brink of ending their relationship is that perhaps if they commit to two full days, they may leave with a different perspective than one session and perhaps never returning because they do not think it is worth working on. Most of the information, I already know and notes were therefore kept to a minimum, but there were handouts I can use as tools and there was some information I could use in future. As I have said in earlier blogs I incorporate everything I have learned and use it when I think I should. I work with all people. And so when I listen to someone with vast amount of experience working with only one type of what I will call issue, than I listen. I am forever growing and learning. I bought one book which she recommended and I will be looking forward to reading it after what I am presently reading. I will be providing you with some statistics that she gave us. One thing she did say is that if one couple has more than one therapist, it is one to many. That is something I will also review. I have a lot to think about. How I work is what is best for my client from their perspective. "Know thyself" Are you in a relationship that you are not happy with? What have you done about it to make it workable? What do you think?