My day at Fenelon Falls. Where can I find home town hospitality out of the city? Does it exist?

 
  I am used to people bashing Toronto.  Sometimes, it even hits the news.  People from towns love to criticize Toronto shamelessly.  Toronto this and Toronto that.  I always hear about that "home town hospitality."  Yesterday, I questioned if it exists to out of towners?  Is there a select group of home town hospitality for people who have lived in the town for a hundred years?  What is home town hospitality?  I found it in New York.  I find it in Toronto.  I even found it in the cities of Europe.  But, I have yet to find this "home town hospitality" in the towns.  Actually, I have found Port Perry to be very nice and friendly.  Now that my car has become unreliable, I sample bus trips and so yesterday I did just that with a senior community centre near where I live.  I have come to know the people there fairly well and some of them are quite elderly.  They are enjoying their senior years.  They are active, some are very frail and have chronic diseases but one thing I notice that they all have in common is love of life.  The centre keeps them strong and alive.  Take the latter any way you wish.
      I know that I am not the most patient person.  I have mentioned that on occasion but yesterday, my day off to relax in the country and take a nice cruise did not relax me as much as I had hoped.  It started off well.
     Yesterday we went to Fenelon Falls.  I have been there before and felt that cottagy feel I miss from my childhood days when as a family we would rent a cottage for two weeks every years.  My parents loved short road trips and going to different locations so more than two weeks in one location would not have been suitable.  After my second retirement I pondered if I should actually retire and saw a cute cottage on Lake Schugog (I am sure I am spelling it wrong) on the waterfront.  It was rustic, not too big and it had large windows which I like facing the water.  I could be there now writing books for fun, but I decided to go to grad school full time,  and do what I am doing now.   I always check out the prices of what I think is a nice hideaway near the water when I venture out of the city.  I imagine myself with my laptop facing out at the water with a nice doggy by my side or doggy playing in the water while I stretch out admiring nature in its' glory, or swimming.
        I saw a house for sale yesterday which I consider a steal in comparison to the homes in Toronto.  It was right across from the ferry we were boarding.  I liked the blue smaller building with a second floor balcony adjacent to the main house.  But you had to buy the main house to get the other. 
      People were friendly in general.  We waved at everyone and everyone waved back.  Many were floating on plastic rafts and I thought that would be very affordable for me compared to an actual boat.  My mind soaked in the sun and the possibilities.  Then it was lunch time.  The first thing that annoyed me but not too much was that there was no alternative dish for meat.  I accepted that but when I asked for an alternative, I was told that the potatoes and carrots were.  Was that sarcasm?  Did I get extra potatoes or carrots?  Of course not.  I let that slide and sat down and one sweet Lady from the tour feeling sorry for me insisted that I take a slice of her bread and soy cheese to give me the protein she thought I needed.   I heard a growing man from an adjacent table ask for seconds and he was turned down.  The same server who had told me about the "alternative" was refuting him any more food, so I told her to give him my chicken.  "It's put away.  You should have given it to him before."  I was really beginning to find this woman annoying.  She came and gave us our desserts.  It was a brownie that stayed with me for hours.  She said she only had three left and who wanted them.  There were four of us.  I told her that it was not acceptable.  To which she replied she was just joking.  That had actually happened on our last cruise.  The people there had given my apple pie to the bus driver but they gave me a glass of wine for free.  Now that is hospitality!   Give away my apple pie to the driver any time.   
We didn't get any beverage at all until we had finished our dinner.  Not even water.  After lunch I sat with another woman I know on the open second floor of the boat, enjoying the water views.  My friend pointed out that the staff on board including my server had large plates of food and they were beginning their own dining experience.  “Looks like they found the extra chicken” she commented.  I was confused.  Did they not have enough food for their staff and that is why everything was so stringently portioned?  I had been on a cruise boat before in Fenelon Falls but we had dined at a restaurant.  This cruise boat was going to another location soon and I thought that was a good idea.  Hopefully, I would not accidently take that boat again.  I thought of how one server could really be so annoying that I would automatically not want to have anything to do with the boat again.  Maybe they were struggling?  The sink bowl leaked in the bathroom and one of the men mentioned something swinging on the sink and water running off in the men's room.
     "Maybe it is me not being patient?"  I said to my friend.  However, my friend did not seem impressed either though she was quieter about it.  After all she did point out the massive plates of the servers and rest of the staff.
     We left the delightful tour and were told to meet at the ice cream parlor and pizza place in one hour and 15 min max.  After that we would be getting back on the bus and heading to Toronto.  I  hustled to see the rest of the town.  I did not realize how small it was and actually had time to have a ginger ale at the ice cream place.  I like ice cream parlors and this was a bonus because it has a massive verandah.  I couldn’t eat anything though because the brownie was still in my stomach and my inners were crying “foul”. The parlor had quite a few people, many who I recognized and a doggy too.  I thought it all quite wonderful and there was still lots of room.  I noticed one elderly man leave and I asked him where he was going.  "I got kicked out " he said sadly with a hint of surprise.  Of course I thought he was kidding and started to laugh.  "No, I did get kicked out." This World War Vet in his nineties repeated.  I stopped laughing.  An elderly couple who I had been talking to not too much earlier was also leaving.  They belonged to an era when people with dark skin colour were not given the same respect as those of white skin.  There was a time when they would have been asked to leave just as politely as this day.  I saw the pain in their eyes as my blood began to boil.  "We ordered something."  They said clearly shaken by the experience.  I looked up at the tall man who had been the cause of this upset.  He began explaining that these people were part of a bus group and they were taking up the space of customers.   He did not realize I was with them.
       "I don't see anyone waiting" I calmly replied.  My friend too had risen and was resting on the porch edge by the exit.  The owner went back inside.  He had no answer for my comment.  There had still been plenty of room so what was the real reason?  It did not matter as the damage was done.  He had offended the mother of a policeman, the sister of a physician and dentist and a woman who was too aware of the pain the holocaust had caused her family.  He had offended a veteran who had kept our country safe and democratric.  He had been mean and for what?  What I also noticed was that these frail people walked across to the water’s edge to find some shade and a place to sit away from the hot humid day.  They were so compliant and nice.  They did not say anything unkind.  They had been so hurt, these people who have lived such a long time, contributed so much to a society who now at times would shun them.  You bet I said something but I think it was my own expression of wonder that made that man just disappear into his own ice cream pizza parlor.
    I wondered how I would ever fit in with these small towns and their home town hospitality? 

     Last night my neighbor knocked on my screen door as I was watching TV.  She apologized for knocking at 10:00 pm plus, but said her dog kept going to my front steps for his treat and refused to leave.  I gave elderly Sneakers his treat and petted him for awhile and another neighbor approached.  I told them about the seniors getting kicked out of the ice cream parlor in Fenelon Falls.  "What?  The second neighbor cried out.  "You should have called the police!" 
    "It wasn't a criminal offence."  I replied.
      We gathered for a bit and talked casually before I went back in.

    I am grateful that I have great neighbours.  Now that is what I call home town hospitality.    Maybe my best friend is right.  I am a city gal with particular values I may not be finding in the small towns I venture to.  Or, is my opinion skewed? 

      That ice cream parlor didn't even have peanut butter ice cream?  And I could not see a Starbucks as we were leaving town. 

       Home town hospitality I find right here at home.  I have not ever been kicked out of a restaurant in Toronto since I was a high school kid and after four hours of hanging out with my school mates we would be asked to leave.  We expected that.  Our soda stretched for a long time.  Maybe I needed to go a little bit further away, maybe that is it?  What do you think? 

It is the holiday weekend. What will you do?

 love holidays.  Just give me a reason to celebrate!  That is me.  For others it is frustrating, fun, exciting, demoralizing.........Do I really need to go on?

     I am at a very good place in my life.  I love my office and if the rain does not continue, I would love to bring another bookshelf to the office tomorrow.  My car has resurrected and since the repair was under warranty I did not have to spend extra.  Now, the question is, can I fit my bookshelf in the car?  Tomorrow, I shall find out.  If not, can I drag it to the office?  Tomorrow I shall find out. 
     I want to spend one day painting at home.  I have everything I need except for the humidity and rain to cease.  I don't want to paint with the windows closed and the air going.  Air conditioning is no longer a luxury, it is a necessity.  
     What I would like to do is see the fireworks during Canada Day.  They have a tall ship downtown that will bring you out and you can watch the fireworks.  I have not done that yet, mainly because I am the only one who wants to do that.  Oh well, it is all about compromise.
      So, I have lots planned to do as well as one night of entertaining.  But that will be open to speculation.  If I lived closer to Niagara, I would drive to the other side on their day.  The U.S.A knows how to party on their 4 Jul.  I spent two festivities with them, one in Norfolk, and another at Disneyworld.  Both were wonderful.  I loved the patriotism and sometimes wish I could see more of that here at home.  Oh well.  Now it is back to my papers.  I have already submitted one which has been approved and now I am working on my second.  It is really nice being able to transfer all my paperwork to the office.  It also serves in my favour to be able to accommodate walk ins.
       I wish you all a wonderful weekend.  Take some time today to reflect how and if you celebrate.  What does a holiday mean to you?  Does it please you?  Does it upset you?  What kind of memories does it stir?  Why not begin a diary of reflection?  What do you think?

Happy Canada Day

My time; my office. All about me.

     My car is in the garage once again.  I read three books about this car before I bought it to ensure I was getting a good investment.  I realized that it would have to last and last, until I got organized which included waiting for a second retirement, returning to school full time and starting a new business.   Actually, I didn't plan on doing the latter.  I just wanted to retire.  I like retiring and do it every so often.  Now I am planning for permanency (I can't get spell check on this blog and it is annoying.  So please forgive any errors).  My plan is to counsel several days a week, write novels and have fun.  I would eventually like to live by the water and I could still do what I am doing anywhere in North America except California I believe.  They do not acknowledge the American Association of Family Therapy but they may Pastoral Counselling.  I never checked that. My grad studies are good there as well.  However, I may also always return to further my education, rather than just professional development.  The world is my oyster, so to speak.  Have you ever watched that program "Murder in Paradise"?  I hope I have the title right.  I can picture myself in that little cabin by the water with my own lizard writing away...........now that is paradise.  A child hood friend was visiting me this weekend.  She brought a bottle of wine and we talked and talked.  I told her about that show.  "You would live in that shack?"  She said horrified but amused.  "My own lizard.  Maybe a dog?  Why not?"   
However, I have a very close friend who happens to be my best friend who keeps telling me I am a city gal and I would get bored.  Boredom is something I have never suffered from.  I have never experienced it.  What some may find boring, I would find relaxing.  Please let me experience boredom?  Actually, I did experience it once.  It was after my first career.  I was into my second and after a month; I must admit I was getting bored.  It was fun but not challenging.  Then I went back to school and boredom was gone!  I have not stopped get my schooling since.
     Oh well, I hope they figure out what is wrong with my car.  I was hoping to spend at least one night asleep on a boat at a marina all by myself out away from the city.  That will not happen if my car is dying.  I was hoping to go to a family get together.  That won't happen if my car does regain consciousness.  But, I do have a lovely back yard.  I can always sleep on my deck.  No I cannot.  I live in the city.  I have no alarm outside on my deck, only in the house.  Oh, oh.........I will survive.  My car will awaken.  I have two more tows from CAA.  I do not leave home without it.  I was also imagining my life without a car.  I imagined how I can travel around in my little city without taking city transit.  You all know I hate taking the TTC.  I thought about taking my bicycle out and giving it some resuscitation.  I walked by the bicycle shop the other day and the owner was outside.  He asked me where my bike was.  I had hoped he would not recognize me.
     Do I really need a car?  How many people do not have one?  Of course I do not need a car, but I want one, mine.  The other day I was driving to Home Depot to buy some paint to refreshen my home.  A man in an Alpha Romeo Sports car stopped beside me at a red light.  "That used to be my favourite car." I told him.  "Used to?" he repeated.  I have always admired a man who knows how to listen.  "What is it now?" he asked.  "A Bentley!" I responded.  I had watched a program called luxury something or another and was amazed at the manufacturing of the Bentley.  They even put in your initials and it is the closest to hand made as possible for a car and only 500,000.  Is my house worth that?
     "I can't even afford this one."  he remarks
     "I know what you mean."  I reply.

     The red light changes to green and we both move on to our separate lives.
 
     What are your dreams?  Do you have any?  What is it you want in life?  Do you know?  Something to think about today.  Take a moment and examine your life.  Are you happy?  Are you fulfilled?  Do you like people?  Would you talk casually to a stranger in a safe environment?  Would you talk to anyone you do not know? What kind of risks do you take if any?  Who do you like to spend time with?  Why not spend some time today to think what it is that you would like to do to take care of yourself this summer?  What do you think?   
     Now back to reality, coffee break, think about how to get another book shelf into my beautiful office and continue writing my Specialist papers.  I am at my best in the morning when my brain is still fresh.

What was that you were thinking?
   

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) Psychology notes

 Fetal Alcohol Syndrome  (FAS)       Psychology notes

Discovery of FAS

- early 1970’s U.S.A.’S Dr Ulleland noticed that babies were born normal but did not develop properly.  She noticed that the babies did not nurse well, were irritable and she was noticed that the mothers drank to access.

- Drs Smith and Jones (physicians) in 1973 visiting  Seattle, noticed a pattern amongst the babies and were the first to describe FAS.

- Dr Lemoine (1969) , physician published the exact symptoms and outcome but did not receive credit because the publication was not written in the English language but in the French language.

Characteristics:

    1.  Growth retardation (SGA) (and don’t recover – small throughout childhood).

    2.   Facial dysmorphology

    3.   evidence of cenral nervous system damage and reduced IQ.

    The above three characteristics are all requirements for FAS.

Most common facial features

1.  Short palpebral fissures (small opening for eyes)

2.  Epicanthal   folds – little flaps of skin on inner part of eye.

3.  Absence of philtrum –dent from nose to upper lip.

4.  thin upper vermilion (colour part of lip-upper quite thin).

5.  short nose, low bridge

6.  Micrognathai (small chin) – most involve center part of face (what they have in common is the center line.

To be continued     -  with Brain anomalies

The developing brain and HIV

As I typed my notes into this blog, my interest in the topic renewed.  I realize that I wrote these notes long enough that there should be significant advancement.  However , I decided to post regardless because perhaps it will interest some of you enough to search further at what may have changed.  Feel free to share.  When I first heard of AID's I read as many books as were probably available at the time.  Eventually I would work with patients in my internship who were living and dying with this disease.  There is a social stigma regarding people who suffer from HIV.  This is most unfortunate.  If someone in your family has this disease, please support and love them.  Love goes a long way.

 HIV (human immunodeficiency virus)

Is a Retro Virus. 

Target cells are predominately T cells (one of the immune cells).  It latches on and 

dumps contents (RNA).  Paracitic RNA and enzymes on the cell, using it as a template and making a DNA version.  Goes into the nucleus, another enzyme lets it chop open your DNA.  Chicken Pox is a retro virus.  It can give us shingles, an adult version.  Once in there, destroys cells that would normally protect us. 

Primary target:  CD 4 Thymphocytes

                           Normal T4 count: >1000/mm3 blood

                           AIDS                     <200/mm3

Before 1980 there was no HIV as we know it.

1980’s,  Priority of where it was:  Americas, Africa, Europe, Asia

1997 -  30 million

1999-   40 million

There is a male/female division that is more equal than in the past. 

HIV has grown in Africa the most.  It started to rise in Asia and Africa.

2001 Global Data (World Health Organization)

1.  People living with HIV/AIDS > 40 million

2.  New infections in 2001-  3 million

3.  Aids Death in 2001 – 3 million

Aids death (2001)

-Adults – 2.4 million (1.1 million were women)

 -children under 15 years of age: 580,000

Reported 1981 – 1999, average age mid 30’s.  Incubation time as long as ten years.

Canada Stats

Incidence among young gay men:

1995-99:  0.6%

2000:  3.7%

1995 – 8.5% of new cases = to women

2001- 25% of new cases = women

Drugs:

mutates rapidly and very easily, divides at a very rapid rate and changes.  If mutations there are more problems.  Therefore there is a use of several drugs at the same time so it may stop one but not the other.  If the treatment is for someone who can’t take it as it should be, this is risky.  All HIV drugs at the time I wrote these notes had severe side effects. 

 

Attempt to stop it from getting into cells

Stop it from making DNA (reverse transcriptase) inhibitors and can stop replication.

-prevents HIV-DNA production eg. zidovudine (AZT)

2.  Protease inhibitors

 - Interferes with readout of DNA to make more HIV

What is AIDS?

- Primary HIV infection (immune system cells and possibly CNS cells)

-Opportunistic infections

-PCP (pneumocycstis carinii pneumonia

-oral candidiases

-viral infections (CMV, varicella [chicken pox]

- toxoplasmosis (from kitty litter)

Malignancies (eg. Kaposi’s Sarcoma)

 Veritical Transmission (mother to child)

May cross – prenatal (trans –placental) in late pregnancy antibodies cross; most have severe effects.

                   - during birth process

                  -  through breast feeding

Vertical transmission rats:

  -  25-50 % in developing countries

-    10 – 30 % in industrialized

      8 % with AZT therapy for mom and infant

Tests for HIV

- antibodies (not valid for several months post-natal)

Looking for antibodies. If there antibodies than there has been exposure.

- Immune function tests (eg level of T cells)

-Direct detection of HIV in cultures (best)

Incubation periods for Aids

Adults: median 8 years

Infants: bimodal distribution

   -median 4 months

   - median 6 years

Symptons of aids appear in first few months and it is suspected that infected in the womb

Browers et al Study (1995)

All HIV

- 87 symptomatic untreated children (meaning showing evidence of AIDS when brought into the study)

 Controls

-Omitted tumors, infections

-blind evaluation of scans

-age appropriate tests

Question is are children who show damage to the brain with the disease  going to show it?

Used scans  ( CAT Scan is computer driven, 3 dimensional.  What is denser or thinner?  Calcifications means some cells in brain when dying or damage collect calcium deposits so  it shows up as a marked area in the brain.  Seen in other disorders but it is not common in children.  Scientists performing the scans did so blinded as to avoid bias.

Looking at children at wide range of age and therefore has to have different measures for different children.  What were the results?  Found calcification in pre-birth strictly using correlation data.  Seems to be impairment of behavior and more indicators of infection.

Still consider if groups are well matched.  Evaluating meaning having mom with HIV-behavior in house- some factors may have impact on social.

RESULTS:

-strong correlation between brain and behavioral measures

-vertical group more affected

-brain measures affected:

  Cerebral atrophy

Enlarged ventricles

Calcification of basal ganglia

                      Gay et.al

Seropositive woman is a person who has blood evidence of HIV.  At birth all had mothers with HIV (mom having psychological effects?).  Study was done in Miami, cultural appropriate, language and how conveyed.

1^st 24 months Bailey -  hypothesizing that HIV infected children (seroreverted) .  Group of children with HIV performed worse overall on tests (standardized tests).

As got older, got worse  because HIV worsened.

Preventive Drugs

1.  Protocol 076:

   -zydovudine (AZT) orally from week 14

- AZT intravenous during labour

-AZT to infant for six weeks

(trying to prevent vertical transmission here)

2. Neviraprine – once to mothers (labour), once to infants (<72 hrs after birth)

Reduced transmission by 50%

Senior Forum: What's up for Seniors in Canada?

I attended the Senior’s Forum at Metro Hall, Monday 10 Jun 11.  These are some of the points

that were revealed.  We were promised a slide of the presentation.  Once I receive it I will

forward a copy to anyone interested in receiving it.

Josh, a Toronto Politician  indicated that 1 in 5 Canadians will be over 65 years of age in the next 20 years.

Presently 70,000 to 80,000 are waiting for housing (7-8 years waiting list.

The elderly have been evicted from housing for not meeting their rent requirements.  One person died two weeks after being evicted.

Dr Samir K. Sinha, MD, DPhil’s  list of credentials are so impressive and lengthy that I was expecting a much older man to appear.  However, once I saw him I recognized him from appearing in the news.  Some salient points are:

14.6 % of Canadians are 65+ and account for nearly one half of all health and social care spending (census, 2011).

The number of Canadians will double over the next 20 years while the 85 and older population is set to quadruple (Sinha, Healthcare papers 2011.

Only a small proportion of older adults are consistently high users of hospitals.  These highest users include Polymorbidity, Functional Impairments and Social Frailty.

There is nothing presently in medical school teaching physicians how to care for the elderly.

The most complex 10% of older adults account for 60% of our collective Health Care Spending.

The least complex 50% of older adults account for 6% of our collective Health Care Spending.

 (since this is when we were told that we would receive a copy of the slides, I ceased to take notes).    

I am taking a sick day but New Dehli policewoman suggests women should dress appropriately not to be assaulted? Please, get with the program! Shame on you.

    
Our bodies are  magnificent machines.  It speaks to us.  It tells us to rest.  Today I am being told to rest.  I have been very busy lately and did I mention my poor car has been in the shop again?  Half a day was spent there.  I do hope my tiny road trip will be attainable.  I know something is not quite right with my car $450.00 later.  It was not my regular mechanic working on it.  He has worked on it so much that he knows exactly what is wrong, just like the people who work on my furnace.  My body needs care too and today it states, stop already, rest.  I had a wonderful physician who taught me how to listen to my body.  Unfortunately she retired.  So today, I only have one telephone conference on line and so that hopefully will go without a hitch.  I will spend most of my day sipping fluids.  I also have all the ingredients to make soup and that I shall do (I only have soup when I am sick.  I am drawn to it.  That is my body speaking and not me because I prefer other stuff).  I will hug my book on Stephen King, Under the Dome and forget about all the stuff I have to do.  I will put myself on pause.  I will indulge on forced rest.  I will also drop some Tylenol for colds if I can get it open.  Why do they have to child proof everything?  I have to be more careful.  I don't want to use a screwdriver to open up anything.    I have Stephen King's book right beside me so I am not tempted to work.  My body has spoken, enough is enough?  I even allowed myself more sleep today (one hour).  I lingered looking outside my back window and appreciated the nature I see.  I love watching the different birds and squirrels.  Hopefully, as the weather improves and as I keep my work at the office, I will separate work from home.  I know my pets will miss me for half a day on the computer.  Even they permitted me to sleep.  Normally, they will pounce on me if I am a moment late.  Sometimes, they will pounce on me to get me up earlier.  Then if I do not get out they howl like someone is getting murdered.  Who needs an alarm clock?   Since retirement I have rarely used an alarm clock.  My body is accustomed to sleep and rising at the same time. 
    But before I rest, I was troubled by something I watched on W5 last night.  As many of you who bother to read me on occasion know is that I tape all I watch.  I taped this newscast (I do not know how long ago) which had a segment about the sexual abuse of women in Delhi.  I had not planned talking about this so I do not recall the ridiculous amount of women being raped there.  They actually have the police check (like we do here for impaired drivers) vehicles to determine if they are holding women against their will.  That was a first for me.  I have to commend a city that implements that to protect women.  They also have subway cars specifically for women so they can get away from men pawing them.  What kind of men are these?  They also showed an interview with a woman who had been completely disfigured by having boys or men throw acid at her face because she resisted their advances and mockery.  Who does that?  But what disturbed me to the point that it stayed with me when I went to bed and when I awoke was an interview with a policewoman who was part of the spot checks.  This woman cautioned women regarding what they wear, going out at night and one other thing that did not stay with me.  I was not angry with her but I was disappointed.  I was and am concerned when I hear any police suggest that appropriate clothing can prevent rape or any form of sexual abuse.  I learned early in my first career that clothing has nothing to do with any form of sexual abuse.  It is all about power.  No man or child or woman can prevent sexual abuse by what he or she wears.  We are in the 21st century and people who should know that still do not?  All too often predators make the victims feel that they are responsible for the horrible things that happen to them.  They don't also need people in authority suggesting the same thing.  It does not matter if you are dressed in a sac, from head to foot.  So, policewoman in Delhi.  You are wrong.  Think about that the next time you say such a thing national wide.  We had a policeman say something similar at York University a while back that hit the news.  If you are going to speak at a university to women about how they should dress, think again.  Toronto Police reported that it was not the view of the Police Force.  I believe them.  But when you have people joining organizations that help others, they may have their own personal views which may not be accurate.  I have had and listened to many complaints about how men who should have known better didn't in positions of authority.  No woman, child or man deserves to be touched inappropriately ever.  If anyone is having sexual relations and they change their mind that is their right.  If you do not respect that, than it is your problem, not theirs. 
     I am beginning to understand why so many people want to come to Canada or the U.S.A to get away from all that repression and hate.  We are not perfect, but we try.  What works for us is the freedom of speech.  What works for us is respect for others.  Now how do we unite with the world so that every woman, man and child can live without fear and be fed and cared for?  Impossible?  I say nothing is impossible.  If you live long enough you see change.  What can you do for change?  What can you do for yourself?  If you have been abused either sexually, physically, emotionally, etc....what can you do to change that?  And please, do not let others ever tell you that you deserved it or you asked for it or it would not have happened if.......It is not your fault.  Surround yourself with support systems.  Stay in the company with people who love you and care for you.  Re-examine your life and your associates.
       And when you are sick how do you care for yourself?  What do you think?  Where do you find peace?