Thursday 4 July 2013

My day at Fenelon Falls. Where can I find home town hospitality out of the city? Does it exist?

 
  I am used to people bashing Toronto.  Sometimes, it even hits the news.  People from towns love to criticize Toronto shamelessly.  Toronto this and Toronto that.  I always hear about that "home town hospitality."  Yesterday, I questioned if it exists to out of towners?  Is there a select group of home town hospitality for people who have lived in the town for a hundred years?  What is home town hospitality?  I found it in New York.  I find it in Toronto.  I even found it in the cities of Europe.  But, I have yet to find this "home town hospitality" in the towns.  Actually, I have found Port Perry to be very nice and friendly.  Now that my car has become unreliable, I sample bus trips and so yesterday I did just that with a senior community centre near where I live.  I have come to know the people there fairly well and some of them are quite elderly.  They are enjoying their senior years.  They are active, some are very frail and have chronic diseases but one thing I notice that they all have in common is love of life.  The centre keeps them strong and alive.  Take the latter any way you wish.
      I know that I am not the most patient person.  I have mentioned that on occasion but yesterday, my day off to relax in the country and take a nice cruise did not relax me as much as I had hoped.  It started off well.
     Yesterday we went to Fenelon Falls.  I have been there before and felt that cottagy feel I miss from my childhood days when as a family we would rent a cottage for two weeks every years.  My parents loved short road trips and going to different locations so more than two weeks in one location would not have been suitable.  After my second retirement I pondered if I should actually retire and saw a cute cottage on Lake Schugog (I am sure I am spelling it wrong) on the waterfront.  It was rustic, not too big and it had large windows which I like facing the water.  I could be there now writing books for fun, but I decided to go to grad school full time,  and do what I am doing now.   I always check out the prices of what I think is a nice hideaway near the water when I venture out of the city.  I imagine myself with my laptop facing out at the water with a nice doggy by my side or doggy playing in the water while I stretch out admiring nature in its' glory, or swimming.
        I saw a house for sale yesterday which I consider a steal in comparison to the homes in Toronto.  It was right across from the ferry we were boarding.  I liked the blue smaller building with a second floor balcony adjacent to the main house.  But you had to buy the main house to get the other. 
      People were friendly in general.  We waved at everyone and everyone waved back.  Many were floating on plastic rafts and I thought that would be very affordable for me compared to an actual boat.  My mind soaked in the sun and the possibilities.  Then it was lunch time.  The first thing that annoyed me but not too much was that there was no alternative dish for meat.  I accepted that but when I asked for an alternative, I was told that the potatoes and carrots were.  Was that sarcasm?  Did I get extra potatoes or carrots?  Of course not.  I let that slide and sat down and one sweet Lady from the tour feeling sorry for me insisted that I take a slice of her bread and soy cheese to give me the protein she thought I needed.   I heard a growing man from an adjacent table ask for seconds and he was turned down.  The same server who had told me about the "alternative" was refuting him any more food, so I told her to give him my chicken.  "It's put away.  You should have given it to him before."  I was really beginning to find this woman annoying.  She came and gave us our desserts.  It was a brownie that stayed with me for hours.  She said she only had three left and who wanted them.  There were four of us.  I told her that it was not acceptable.  To which she replied she was just joking.  That had actually happened on our last cruise.  The people there had given my apple pie to the bus driver but they gave me a glass of wine for free.  Now that is hospitality!   Give away my apple pie to the driver any time.   
We didn't get any beverage at all until we had finished our dinner.  Not even water.  After lunch I sat with another woman I know on the open second floor of the boat, enjoying the water views.  My friend pointed out that the staff on board including my server had large plates of food and they were beginning their own dining experience.  “Looks like they found the extra chicken” she commented.  I was confused.  Did they not have enough food for their staff and that is why everything was so stringently portioned?  I had been on a cruise boat before in Fenelon Falls but we had dined at a restaurant.  This cruise boat was going to another location soon and I thought that was a good idea.  Hopefully, I would not accidently take that boat again.  I thought of how one server could really be so annoying that I would automatically not want to have anything to do with the boat again.  Maybe they were struggling?  The sink bowl leaked in the bathroom and one of the men mentioned something swinging on the sink and water running off in the men's room.
     "Maybe it is me not being patient?"  I said to my friend.  However, my friend did not seem impressed either though she was quieter about it.  After all she did point out the massive plates of the servers and rest of the staff.
     We left the delightful tour and were told to meet at the ice cream parlor and pizza place in one hour and 15 min max.  After that we would be getting back on the bus and heading to Toronto.  I  hustled to see the rest of the town.  I did not realize how small it was and actually had time to have a ginger ale at the ice cream place.  I like ice cream parlors and this was a bonus because it has a massive verandah.  I couldn’t eat anything though because the brownie was still in my stomach and my inners were crying “foul”. The parlor had quite a few people, many who I recognized and a doggy too.  I thought it all quite wonderful and there was still lots of room.  I noticed one elderly man leave and I asked him where he was going.  "I got kicked out " he said sadly with a hint of surprise.  Of course I thought he was kidding and started to laugh.  "No, I did get kicked out." This World War Vet in his nineties repeated.  I stopped laughing.  An elderly couple who I had been talking to not too much earlier was also leaving.  They belonged to an era when people with dark skin colour were not given the same respect as those of white skin.  There was a time when they would have been asked to leave just as politely as this day.  I saw the pain in their eyes as my blood began to boil.  "We ordered something."  They said clearly shaken by the experience.  I looked up at the tall man who had been the cause of this upset.  He began explaining that these people were part of a bus group and they were taking up the space of customers.   He did not realize I was with them.
       "I don't see anyone waiting" I calmly replied.  My friend too had risen and was resting on the porch edge by the exit.  The owner went back inside.  He had no answer for my comment.  There had still been plenty of room so what was the real reason?  It did not matter as the damage was done.  He had offended the mother of a policeman, the sister of a physician and dentist and a woman who was too aware of the pain the holocaust had caused her family.  He had offended a veteran who had kept our country safe and democratric.  He had been mean and for what?  What I also noticed was that these frail people walked across to the water’s edge to find some shade and a place to sit away from the hot humid day.  They were so compliant and nice.  They did not say anything unkind.  They had been so hurt, these people who have lived such a long time, contributed so much to a society who now at times would shun them.  You bet I said something but I think it was my own expression of wonder that made that man just disappear into his own ice cream pizza parlor.
    I wondered how I would ever fit in with these small towns and their home town hospitality? 

     Last night my neighbor knocked on my screen door as I was watching TV.  She apologized for knocking at 10:00 pm plus, but said her dog kept going to my front steps for his treat and refused to leave.  I gave elderly Sneakers his treat and petted him for awhile and another neighbor approached.  I told them about the seniors getting kicked out of the ice cream parlor in Fenelon Falls.  "What?  The second neighbor cried out.  "You should have called the police!" 
    "It wasn't a criminal offence."  I replied.
      We gathered for a bit and talked casually before I went back in.

    I am grateful that I have great neighbours.  Now that is what I call home town hospitality.    Maybe my best friend is right.  I am a city gal with particular values I may not be finding in the small towns I venture to.  Or, is my opinion skewed? 

      That ice cream parlor didn't even have peanut butter ice cream?  And I could not see a Starbucks as we were leaving town. 

       Home town hospitality I find right here at home.  I have not ever been kicked out of a restaurant in Toronto since I was a high school kid and after four hours of hanging out with my school mates we would be asked to leave.  We expected that.  Our soda stretched for a long time.  Maybe I needed to go a little bit further away, maybe that is it?  What do you think? 

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