A letter to the President. I hope I don't get fired. You know that sometimes you should really have that third cup of coffee

 Hello Mr President Trump.  First I would like to let you know that I used to always watch the Celebrity Apprenticeship.   Thank you for that show.  I would also like to let you know that I love Americans.  I have even given them Canadian Flags and other items so they can pass off as Canadians when I was overseas.  I live in Toronto Ontario and am trying to sell my house so I can move to Niagara Falls and retire there.  There is difficulty doing that because I am told it is due to the tariffs.  So,  I am suggesting you can buy my house as a gesture of being nice.  You can have a home here, renovate it and enjoy the backyard.  I can then move to my barbie house in Niagara Falls.  What do you think?  Respectfully not the 51st state.  

Silva