Couple Therapy

 

    I have seen couples married, 20, 30 and even 40 years.  Regardless of the amount of years, there is always a surprise of how one person feels that the other didn’t know about.  Depending on the couple, amount of sessions vary.   Even one session can help couples.  On the other hand there can be so much anxiety in the relationship, that it can take several sessions for the couple to take control of their emotions to begin the work.  Sometimes there is screaming which I do not tolerate.  If people want to work on their relationship then they need to start to communicate which includes active listening from the partner.  Slowly they can start to listen and to respond to the other equally.  All  screaming does is shut down the other person who may begin to feel traumatized.  One of the questions I ask is if there are any addictions, mental disorders, abuses etc…  When there is nothing else except the relationship, it is easy, or not.  I refuse to see any couple who isn’t serious about working on their relationship which includes giving up an affair if one exists.  It is not possible to work on a relationship if one cannot give up another lover.  I make that quite clear in the beginning and what has also happened is that the lover is not given up and the couple attempt to keep if from me.  In that case I refer them elsewhere.  I am serious about my work.  There have been times when one having an affair wants to work on the affair rather than their spouse.  Of course that won’t work.  Then there are those who don’t really want marriage therapy but attend because one is facing an alternative.  Either see the therapist with me or it is over.  When that happens, fault is normally found with the therapist by the person feeling forced.  Any fault will do, not to continue sessions.  I have found that when there isn’t much time invested in the relationship there is a tendency to end the relationship.  Sometimes people have stayed together to raise their children.  However, if people really are serious about working on their relationship, then the work begins.  How are your relationships in general? (For your info, because I am selling my house and it is staged, I cannot take any new clients at this moment. I charge 200.00 for couple therapy as well as family therapy.  I charge 80.00 for individual therapy.  Each session is 50 minutes.  I also charge $200.00 for consultations.)   redigondapsychotherapy.com.