I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving - Florida I thought of you and had you in my prayers - Talk about the Conference

It's been quite a bit of activity here in Toronto, but I am not going to talk about that today. I wanted to talk about the conference a bit more. We had two guest speakers and the first spoke about grief. Her experiences and education were not what I experienced. She was a nurse and has a Masters in Death (from the USA) and she talked about the stigma of men crying. In my experiences, men cry. I think the stigma that was so prevelant in the past is changing. I mentioned before that my dad was a crier. He cried when happy, sad, etc....In my family, he was the one who cried and I just accepted that. I also worked in challenging situations with men and they cried. Keeping tears within, when one needs to cry is not healthy. I have told people who keep so much inside to go into their cars, into the woods etc.....and let it all out. I have even offered to walk with them, if required. As the speaker was providing and sharing all aspects of grief, there was one missing. So, I am going to talk about it. It is the grief one may have when having an abortion. This is not about pro choice or against. As a therapist and outside the therapy room I have seen the suffering of women who had abortions and some have never forgiven themselves and mourn their child each and every day. Men too grieve, especially when they feel they have had no say. They feel that their child was killed. There is also the associated feelings of guilt and shame. What I normally suggest is a ritual for their loss. It can be lighting a candle, and giving the child a name. My thoughts go back to my undergrad when a nurse in my class arrived late and in a foul mood. I knew something was wrong and asked. She said she had assisted in an abortion at her hospital (no choice) and the fetus was not killed. After everyone had left the room, she held the fetus which had been dropped into a pail, until the fetus died. She was devastated. Not long afterwards I shared that story with a firefighter I knew and I saw the tears flow down his face. If you are out there and this has happened to you, please share it with someone. You don't have to carry this with you. There are services out there that provide guidance for women who are grieving because they had an abortion. They also provide a memorial service and each woman can light a candle for her child. I would like to think that they accept men. We lose thought of how people suffer and why. The second speaker is an American, Pete Sandoval, LPC, MA, RP (Qualifying). I found him to be excellent. He specializes in trauma therapy and is also trained in EMDR, and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP). He now practices in Kitchener-Waterloo and across Ontario at Grand River Healing. His question? If you had tears and they could talk, what would they say? I think you are getting the drift. I missed my live conferences and the sharing of minds. The food was great as well. I brought home one table vase of flowers and am so happy that it made it home. It is difficult to see the disolving of such an important Association. We are going through changes and so grief was an appropriate topic. Allow yourself to grieve and if you need help or support, reach out. There are topics that people fear to talk about because of stigma or politics etc....My objective is to help people, help themselves. So, I always address the elephant in the room. I wanted to attend a PTSD conference this week but unfortunately cannot make the drive. I was informed that I shouldn't drive for more than 15minutes and that is quite a drive. Oh well, Disney World is out too obviously for another conference. I should be ok with my education hours. Take care.