Friday 19 January 2018

Book Four

Book Four Each book I have written has been different. I have a few, and I mean a few who come and see me annually at Word on The Street to learn if I have written another book. Sometimes I disappoint them, but I write when I can as I need to give my private practise priority. I need to keep my professional development up to date, I need to read and or watch programs related to my work. I attend seminars, conferences and workshops and I work at improving myself so I can be the best I want to be. There is always room for improvement. My first book, “Hey Guy Buy Me” I wrote for fun. I spent most of my life prior to my private practice, working with men. Since I was often the only woman working with a group of men, I would be the one who men would ask questions, trying to figure out their dates, or girlfriends. I could only speak from my own perspective, yet I was in their eyes a woman and therefore a contact for this mysterious creature they wanted to woo. I have had for the most part very positive relationships with men. There were those who I have worked with who were quite ambitious and almost cruel in trying to protect a male alpha environment, but there were those who took me under their wing and taught me about my work, about life and about love. I believe I have been most fortunate and continue to be. What I learned from writing my first book is that I need to review my drafts over and over again and revise carefully. My first book was meant to entertain. I was surprised that I had such a variety of responses, but not anymore. I realize that people read from their own lens, which may be different from my own. I have had insults. I have been told by one man that he expected a professional stance and the book was not worth reading. I had only written this book for fun. It was not meant to be deep. I had women come to me and tell me that their sons loved the book and I had women come and tell me that men in their lives thought me a dictator, telling men what to do. I had one man frequent a location where I was selling my book who wanted to meet me and have coffee. He started buying the same copies of my book and eventually I did have to go to the police because I became concerned about my safety. I had to insist that there be some kind of record just in case something did happen. My second book I wrote because I wanted to tell my story up until that time, “For Love of Country - Military Policewoman.” I was very careful writing this book because I did not want to cause harm or breach any security. I think it was successful in that regard. I had one man very upset. I suppose he wanted me to expose secrets etc…and therefore stated that I was writing about nothing that I knew. I found that interesting because he is a writer though he has never written an autobiography. What I did write was about my rite of passage. I wrote my experiences, with my views at the time. I do not necessarily think the same way and in many ways I do not especially where multiculturalism is concerned. I continue to grow and transform as I live life, meet people, work with people, counsel people, provide psychotherapy to people, read and continue to learn from my previous professors and educators as well as new ones. With my second book, I was also disappointed that my ebook was being sold globally from people who had no business doing so. Once, I challenged them, they did remove it. Being an author is quite challenging nowadays. Big publishers do not want to entertain reading your work unless you have an agent. I am still determining my best options and I know I have not been giving this as much as I should. My third book is my favourite. It is a fiction account of a serial killer, set in Toronto. I re-read and revised this book about five times before sending it off to my publisher. The setting is in Toronto and for people who do not live here, it offers you an understanding of my city and what it has to offer as it relates in this case. One of my pets is in the book. Her name is Holy Terror. I don’t want to give too much away here except to say that we all go to Niagara Falls as well, because Niagara Falls is one of my favourite places. In every book that I write, there are pieces of me in it. In this book, my fourth book, I have finally decided what to write which has changed several times since September. I was having dinner at the Mandarin with my previous professor who is always asked for ID to prove he is a senior. I find this amusing. He does not, but I think he is getting used to it. I used to dread him because he worked me to death with excessive readings. I read it all. I asked once, why he was always doing that and also selecting me in class for humourous taunts. His response was that I could take it. I pondered over this as I usually do when he says something. I always say what I think and I have to learn how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. Who am I kidding? I had informed him that night at dinner that I had decided not to write about another serial killer ( I will do that in the future) and not to write about two elderly women (I may do that in the future - it was a request from a good friend who is now struggling with cancer). I told my old professor that I shall write about my work. I shall write a book to help people therapeutically. Yes, yes, he said write an academic book, but what you should also write is about your story of yourself as a therapist. That is what captures the people. They want to relate to you and learn from your own story. So, that is what I am doing now. This will be in my fourth book. It is a way to help people, with a personal touch. I will be writing as I feel providing information with citations or from experiences and education. I will be writing about real situations but changing genders, and making up names and anything else to keep what I write private from revealing identities. One person once told me that psychotherapy for her was giving birth. “Who are you giving birth to, I asked? “To myself.” Keep in mind that I am writing this as I think it or as I read notes. I am not editing my work or even looking it over. This is my very first draft which is writing it as it comes to me. I will share some with you. So, now it will be a variation of more information for you. What do you think?

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