Busy Time Again - Reviewing Ominous

Hi, As you know I will be releasing my next book for the new year. My publisher has sent me my edited transcript for review so I need to give that my full attention. This is on top of my private practice so I will only be able to post from my book as promised for the next few weeks. Thank you for reading my blog.

The Sinai Desert - For Love of Country Military Policewoman www.silvaredigonda.ca

I and the other Military Police person, Doug, were briefed at 11: 00. There were also two other people who had different jobs there listening to the briefing. This was unusual and it did nothing to lift my spirits. The MWO also insisted having either Doug or myself in charge. Doug immediately spoke up that he should be in charge. Doug said he had a way with words, more specifically he said he had a mouth. To avoid an argument, and not create animosity in such a short time, I refrained from further conversation. I had made it quite clear that I was not happy with what was planned. I had expected to work at the Police detachment, but the MWO stated that he preferred us to remain with the unit, but there was not enough work to occupy us. He indicated that working as a bartender would be part of our duties, as well as keeping the bar clean. I informed the MWO that we could not be bartenders as it was a conflict of interest. How can we arrest impaired drivers if we serve them alcoholic beverages? I began quoting orders which listed what was not permitted quite clearly. I imagined my six months as a gopher for the unit and felt my spirits, charm and happiness or what was left of any positivism rapidly diminishing. Our Canadian Officers also had the same demeaning duties. The MWO pointed to the man behind the bar and said he was an Officer. I immediately regretted my hostility towards the guy. He was being humiliated enough. If I didn’t like the prospect of cleaning the bar as part of my routine, I could just imagine how the Officer felt. Doug cordially agreed with everything the MWO wanted, and of course I disagreed. Doug could think he was in charge, but not of me. He could report to the MWO all he wanted. I had worked with people outside the military police only once before, at the Olympics. I learned quickly at that time that it gave some the opportunity to get even. I was worried that it would happen again. It did not bother me to work with this unit. What did bother me was the concept of working at the Detachment and being sent back to the unit to sweep and clean for a couple of hours. I saw a bleak prospect for my time here. The MWO continued that if we were not treated fairly we were to return to the unit. I assured him that would not happen. We were told that at 5pm we were to return to the club for a meet and greet. With no sleep possible, hungry, and my first day of menstruation, I was not happy. I went to my room and changed. Being aware of too many men around me, I wore jeans and a t-shirt. Others, less bashful or conscious of pale white legs wore shorts. Some of the men even wore bikini sunbathing attire. For a brief moment it seemed as if we were at a resort. Not much later, I was sipping on a free Coke, compliments of the Commanding Officer. I was gazing outside the window from the club when I saw the wind begin to drift the sand. It became worse and I saw my first sandstorm. “Just like in the movies!” one man at the bar exclaimed. I continued to watch the storm and saw birds being forced to fly in reverse. I wondered how they survived. I was amazed. It then suddenly started to rain. I learned that the forecast had called for coming winds. There had been no warning for this storm. I realized that this would be one of the many dangers our pilots would face. My enthusiasm about the storm was not shared among my colleagues. Perhaps they were too exhausted. People who had been outside began running into the club, soaked and sandy. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.

Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy (notes)

Triggering Warning: Fire Arms death ages 1 to 44 years of age are top leading deaths in the USA; Wilful killing by one person to another. Homicidal Behaviour is occurring - also suicidal behaviour and femicide behaviour if assessing, one need to assess another. Interview with one person who has lived with gun violence: Participant seemed nervous answering questions. He was looking at the time. He had seen people being shot but ideology has not changed. He believes people need guns to protect themselves. He wants to know his daughters friends and families, to see what they believe in. He used to carry a firearm for his work. One day he went to pick up his mother. There was a few men blocking the street. He realized they had guns. He had to make the decision if he was going to reverse his car or if he was going to go through where he would have to use his own weapon. He decided to turn around. After that incident he sold his gun. He said that if you carry a gun, you don’t know how you are going to respond. For a few weeks he had pondered if he had made the right decision of backing away. What is your lived experience of guns and homicide such as community distress, past experiences, Mental Health Disorders? How to deal with anger? (Adhia et..alll 2019 ) - Victims. Broken desired intimacy, jealousy, altercations. Gun Violence : 135 out of 150 adolescence were female. 66% were 15,1/2 to 18.1 years of age. 102 perps were 18 years or older, average age was 20. The hand gun: one male killed his girlfriend because of nude photos that had been distributed. The role of psychotherapy and childhood maltreatment is homicidal ideation. A study looked at psychopathy (lack of remorse, empathy). Incarcerated - if child maltreatment had occurred. As childhood maltreatment increased so did homicidality - men more so than women and gangs were not indicative of this. Leakage is the communication to a third person as an intent to harm or target. Communication can vary widely such as email, verbal etc…It can reveal feelings, attitudes (Meloy & Otoole, 2011). It is not motivated to be stopped. So often it has occurred in mass shootings (I will speak more about mass shooting since I attended a lecture on Violence). Don’t expect someone to actually do the harm. Must be joking, denying it. It is uncomfortable. We must not be a weak link. This is important information to minimize. We need to be able to assess leakage. Example: one teenager communicated he wanted to kill his girlfriend. Case Study: Mother had lost custody. Grandpa adopted 14 year old boy and his younger brother. 14 year old boy leaked out that he wanted to kill his girlfriend. He goes to the kitchen and cuts his wrists in front of the grandparents. He proceeds to get a gun. Grandmother calls police. He aims the gun at his grandmother when she gets in his way to leave. He tells her to move. There was a bullet in the chamber. We watched a video of a later interview with this family. The grandparents were about middle aged, much younger than I had expected. The 14 year old boy, I won’t describe. He comes in later. It could have been a better video if it was explained. I didn’t know who the therapist was initially. The grandmother was complaining that her grandson was carrying the gun and could have killed her. He told her he would. Her husband downplayed the incident saying the grandson didn’t mean it. It was a cry for help, he was “pissed”, testosterone. While watching this video I thought it would be good training for interns. The therapist or who ever was in the video had flip flops on which and her feet were moving which was distracting and her jeans were not on properly which was also distracting. I mention this because it is important for therapists to be aware of their own presence. It may be my own biases. However, I never saw anything like this before. Anyhow, the grandfather didn’t see anything is an issue. He downplayed that his grandson had pointed a gun at his wife. There are domains here: Safety - increase or decrease risk, 2. emotional risk - shame, guilt, fatal or non fatal 3. Neighbourhood factors - violence, community safety, gun presence, friends, traditions, shared commonalities, status, regret. Social Perspectives. A clinician can be easily triggered in working with a family due to a belief system. How they parent this child. Grandmother “he put my life in danger.” Grandpa doesn’t see it that way. We need to create safety - the sociology. How does the family respond when homicidal behaviours enter the room? Lead with second order change (relational change) Pull in first order change when needed (behavioural change). This boy did go out to the community and police arrested him. Lethal Means Safety Counselling: Be straight forward, practical and respectful. Where does access occur in the community. It only takes one bullet for someone to die. Talk about safer storage. Look at pros and cons of keeping a gun in the house and changing how it is stored. For some it is safety and protection of family. Assault and Homicidal Danger Assessment Tool. No predictable risk of assault/ homicide. Low risk -Moderate Risk - High Risk. How do we address the relationship, so homicide is not the solution. When child is distressed instead of turning to the caregiver, turned to a gun - homicidal behaviour. Difference of grandparents views make it difficult for the child to turn to them. Show how systematic family needs to change for behaviour of the child. Pretending what happens when not in the same page. We watched another film with this family now including both children. There is a demonstration of a crash but again the film was not explained prior or during the film. I cannot see if what is used is a toy car. Grandmother is supposed to (let’s say it is a car) crash her car into another. She doesn’t want to do this (it is not explained why). How do we address the relationship, so homicide is not the solution? When caregivers are in conflict, children are in conflict…… When you need us we are there for you and this allows children to be able to go to them. Any errors here will be mine. Also, I don’t have time to proof read so please forgive me. Though this was set in the States, this can apply anywhere. I would have really loved to have know why the children were removed from their mother’s care. How was the mom raised? Oh well. This was the first lecture of the three day conference. I will post these once a week and the rest of the week will be either a portion of my book and or theology. Happy Hallowe’en. It’s tonight! Goblins and spooky things. What do you think?

My tid bits

Well I attended another wonderful three day conference last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. There were also two sessions I chose that dealt with writing books (Of course I did). Regarding books the sisters of crime will be providing a talk next month I believe about the court systems here in Canada and the States and the differences. I really want to attend that. Apparently Canadians are claiming the Fifth Ammendment when in Canadian Court which of course does not apply in Canada. I had to chuckle. If I had another life to live, I would be a criminal lawyer. I have also been invited to the local authors in Mississauga for a Christmas dinner and of course I want to attend that as well. Soon my publisher will be providing me with the first ten chapters of my book Ominous and that is also of course a priority. I will need to proof read and look for any recommendations/ editing etc……I am so excited about my book. I am thinking of switching my book platform to amazon. I didn’t put anything on amazon because they lost 200 of my first book which I had shipped to them. Then there was the complaint I heard from Authors that readers were buying books and ebooks and being refunded. However, I haven’t heard any complaints in a while and they do have the biggest platform so I am thinking about it. I had gone with shopify because it is a Canadian company but I am charged in American dollars and I don’t think that is very Canadian. So lots to do and think about. Mr Attitude was sick for a few days and I am happy that he has become his almost normal self. Attending a conference on line with him howling for me to get off was quite annoying. One attendee indicated she had a cat on her lap and a parrot on her shoulder. I can only wish that Mr Attitude would be happy lounging on my lap. He is only happy if I am in bed or on the couch where he likes to snuggle. This is my last pet so I am cherishing all our moments. I miss travelling and being a free spirit and Mr Attitude won’t permit it. Who figured? I cannot believe he is 20 years old. How long does a cat live? I will provide you with my first session Homicidal Behaviours and Systemic Family Therapy very soon. Did I mention a Hallowe'en party?

Getting ready for my conference. Dancing with the Stars tribute.......

Ok, I thought I would have more time, but apparently not. I have to book my lectures in advance. Next week I should have more time so I will just talk a bit. Last night I watched Dancing With the Stars and watched the beautiful tribute they performed for Len Goodman. I watched him for many years on the show and didn't realize how much he was loved. I am glad. They actually had me in tears as I watched their grief expressed. During these difficult times in the world with Russia's invasion, Hamas' path of destruction on line and live and with countries needing to defend themselves resulting in innocents being killed, is a difficult period. There is so much suffering on all sides. We are seeing that we have not learned from history. We all need to feel safe, have a roof over our heads, be able to have food to sustain us and be able to sleep in peace. Try to spend time in nature, establish a relationship with God and if you don't believe in God, spend time in nature and reflect on yourself and the positives in your lives. Surround yourself with people who love you and care for you. If you don't have that, join social clubs that enhance positivity. Choose a hobby if you don't have one, or add another. Sing.......dance........listen to music......do something nice for someone, even if it is just a smile. Limit your social media. Turn off notifications each day for at least a half hour....try it and most of all be kind to yourself. You deserve it. For now I wish you a peaceful week. I have lots to share and always feel free to reach out. Next week I shall have more time. Take care. What do you think?

Happy Hallowe'en (We need a laugh. Thank you Florida. Come to my neighbourhood and I shall supply coffee and donuts

For Love Of Country Military Policewoman The Middle East www.silvaredigonda.ca

However, our first day was not pleasant. I had run out of cigarettes and I was irritable. I contributed this to the lack of sleep and food. We could not eat on the flight. I also found our greeting too militant and had expected a more cordial welcome. We were immediately escorted in groups of five to stores to retrieve our desert boots. The smallest size they had for me was 12, instead of the seven I needed to fit me, so I left them there. My second experience was going to the washroom and seeing disturbing and vulgar graffiti on the walls. I was also menstruating and wondered what remnants of that was being left around. I had been unprepared. We had a quick tour of the base and of our barracks adjacent to our club called “Beaver,” representing Canada’s beaver. I had my own room and was happy about that. It also had an air conditioner. As soon as I was free, I went to our club to buy cigarettes, only to be informed that I needed coupons to buy them and I would not get them until 4 PM that day. I was not happy and I just stood there glaring at him. He later attempted to appease me by offering me a cigarette. I responded with a quick “no” and ignored him. I would later come to understand why he would not sell me cigarettes. The RSM who had been a Warrant Officer in my Junior Leader Course lent me three of his coupons so I could buy two packages of cigarettes. I was rescued. Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.