Seminars, meetings galore and exciting news from the University of Toronto Magazine, Autumn 2021

Since I wrote to you last, I saw clients, had some fun, decided to eat healthy and of course more webinars. I love my work. I love helping people for a living. I have done that for most of my working life and it is something I can do, while I have a well oiled functioning brain. I have been thinking of writing some case studies. I would be picking cases that can help others. I want to explore that more. Now meetings…..During my second career, I once asked a professor if he was going to attend a meeting I had to go to. He replied that everyone has an opinion and was not going. That stuck to my grey cells and I experienced that feeling in most of all the meetings I attended for the week. I also attended a webinar Saturday with a panel from out West. I cringed at what I heard regarding COVID. I won’t go into details or tell on the organization but suffice to say I am so glad that I have the resources I have from the two universities, I attended right here at home. I attended others but there is a gag order not to tell, so sorry, cannot spell the beans even though I don't think there is anything secretive. If people cannot be up to date now and able to separate science from fiction, then there is a problem Houston. On the news this morning a physician from Saskatchewan who had been transferred to an Ontario ICU died from COVID. I felt sad hearing that. Next topic: I have decided to eat healthy. Since COVID, I have indulged in all the foods I wanted without a care. So, now I have decided to eat healthier. That doesn’t mean cutting off any foods, but it does mean increasing fruits and vegetables etc….and choosing more selectively my bad foods for the day or week. I had no idea I was eating so much sodium, especially because I don’t use salt often. I have begun to read the contents and the amount of salt in foods which is crazy. I even picked up a small apple pie and put it back, because 50% was nasty stuff. When did this all happen? Because I am a vegetarian, I usually buy veggie burgers, veggie hot dogs etc…..Did you ever read the contents of that suff? By the time I reached the cashier, I asked if she knew how hard it was to eat health food? She nodded. “You can’t find anything.” I exclaimed. She nodded knowingly. I wondered why they don’t have an identity tag for health foods so you don’t have to read all the data. Oh, wait a minute, they did and it is no longer available. I guess there was a fee for having it and there was still nasty stuff in the contents. Fortunately in undergrad, I had to study this in one or two of my courses and it is a good thing I was paying attention. I remember insinuating to my professor that pizza must be healthy because it has so many vegetables. She looked at me, shook her head and said, cholesterol. I was hoping that had changed and thought I would go to the counter where they sold slices of pizza. “Anything healthy here? Low in fat? The young teen, looked at me and shook her head, knowing this was one customer she wasn’t going to get to serve. So, I went to the pastry counter and bought a tiny dessert which listed 200 calories for one. It didn’t display what was in it, but what the heck. Like I said I am not giving up everything. I am just not eating everything. I have never noticed a change in my scale but then I hadn’t been to the gym so my muscles must have evaporated and thus, since muscle is heavier, I thought I was good. Nadda, one test revealed, and so I am on a slow mission to returning to my old self. I also miss the gym and haven’t returned since COVID. Yesterday I looked longingly at a piece of equipment. I would never have the space for that in my home. Maybe it was the right time to return to the gym. I can’t wear a mask while working out. This morning the news said we were entering a fourth wave. Ok, so no gym, but really, big businesses start providing us with health food. I need to eat. On a more positive note, I was reading an article from my old University of Toronto, magazine fall edition. Page 1 began with “Second Skin.” There is a surgical tool being developed from researchers at the University of Toronto and Sunnybrook Health Sciences. The device is a kind of 3D printer for skin which will be used to lay a sheet of biomaterial over a patient’s burn site. Biological ink (contains a kind of stem cell) will then be dispensed to accelerate the healing process. The article continues that with big burns you don’t have enough healthy skin available which can lead to death of the patient. Prof Guenther envisions surgeons being able to use the device in operating rooms in the next few years. Reading that piece made my day. Now that is progress! How was your week?

Body Shaming is not ok

Recently I was at a gathering where a woman told me that she was too busy to eat. I mentioned that she should make the time to eat. Another woman walking by, looked at the woman I was talking to and said she was fat and doesn’t need to eat. I have to admit I was stunned. I told the woman who made the remark, that it wasn’t nice and asked if she was perfect. I realized I had challenged her. She paused, said no and continued walking away. The woman whom the remark had been directed to asked what happened. I told her nothing had happened and that it had been taken care of. I don't know if she had heard the comment but if she did, she pretended not to. I realized I could have dealt with that more kindly. I say that because my tone was rude as well. This morning I pondered at what had occurred. I have a low tolerance for bullies. I don’t normally see this type of behaviour but I realize that for one too many abuse is suffered and tolerated by others who witness it. I have provided psychotherapy for people who suffer, and have suffered by body shaming. Others, feel poorly about their bodies when only they see every possible inkling of what can be wrong. Then there are those who like to chastise others because they think they know more of what is best for others which includes how they should look, what make-up to wear or not, what weight they should be, what clothes to wear etc……I normally encourage clients to be who they want to be, dress how they wish, and for those suffering body shaming both men and women, to be nude in front of a full mirror and tell themselves that they look beautiful. There are those who are so beautiful but who do not know it because they have been convinced otherwise. This can stem from their own parents who should be protecting them, loving them and making them feel safe, not shaming them. It comes from the bullies at school who taunt them to the point where they may commit suicide. It comes from a partner who demands their own idea of perfection, in a partner. This is all emotional abuse and from what I hear from clients who have suffered physical and emotional abuse, it is the emotional abuse which is the most painful. You don’t know the suffering of others which may be very concealed by the outward appearance and humour. I have people break down in tears because they do not know who they are because others have dictated to them all their lives. Sometimes, people don’t return because they are not ready to take a stand against their abusers. Sometimes their abusers stop them from getting help. However, ultimately it is up to those who suffer to make the decision if they will take that stand. We need to have the resources for people to get the help they need which starts in elementary school. Sometimes, I see with families that it is not the child but parents who need to make changes to deal with their own issues which is blamed on the defenceless child. I often have to ponder in families if parents are abusive or just poor parents. Again, anyone can have children without qualifications. Abuse can be stopped and abusers, abuse because they can. Some are quite gifted in being quite pleasant in hurting others, which is passive aggressive. When someone is loud and obnoxious, it is a no brainer. What happened when the woman walked by and called the lady fat and that she shouldn’t be eating reminded me of how much my mother used to protect children who were being bullied by other children. A group stuck one child in a garbage can and taunted the child. My mother removed the child from the can and struck the bully by shoving him away. I informed my mother after she told me what had happened, that if the police had been called, she could have been charged for assault. “But it isn’t right” she said. She was right. It wasn’t right and it isn’t right, but we must remember that there are laws in place as well. I know of a retired principal who started a safe place in her high school, where teens could congregate, and many who had felt that they were bullied for one reason or another, for being different, found that safe. I think all schools should have a safe place and bullies need to be educated to stop their behaviours. Their parents should be called in because there are times that there is where the bullies learn how to bully, hate, etc…. But what I also see is how children learn what is wrong even when their parents don’t. So, next time you see someone bully another, if it is safe to do so, make a comment that it is not ok. If it is not safe or you fear that you will be the next target for trying to help another, then report it to an organizer, teacher, employment resource etc….There is so much needless suffering going on. It is more powerful to be kind and reach out to someone. If you are one who body shames others remember that you do not know what is going on. It can be a body type, a physical problem which causes weight gain or loss, medication, and for some food is the only control they have in their lives when they feel they have none. Therapy can help and does. So, next time you see someone who does not meet your definition of your own projection of how a body should look like, take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you think it is ok to demean others. Think about what you say to your own children which can be demeaning. The City of Toronto helps with programs for guiding parents in rearing young children. What do you think?

Another Hallowe'en - Fun times

This Hallowe'en was nice. I got more kids than last year but less than previous years. I got about 70 kids who came trick or treating and they were very cute. What surprised me this year was how polite they were. Is this another generation of hope, I pondered? My city seems to be increasing in the gangs and violence and I am sure a lot of it has to do with our very lax laws and punishment. So, when I saw these delightful children coming for their treats it was a nice break so to speak. Their costumes were wonderful as well. I had one clown who seemed to be from a Stephen King novel and as she or he came towards me, a little child who was about to get her treat, saw the clown, screamed and ran away. "Don't you want a chocolate?" I shouted. Nope. The clown just raised the mask visibly surprised at the reaction. "I like clowns," I muttered. The clown was still looking at the little girl with an amazed expression and the little girl was still running. One of my neighbours across the street had a Myers face mask on from the Friday the 13th series and I must admit when there were no children coming for treats, I was mezmorized by the realistic mask. He would hold still and scare the kids when they approached thinking him not a real person. Another neighbour across the street would yell out and scream that he didn't want to give his candies away. It was quite a show in the neighbourhood. I didn't recognize all the costumes and the children did try to educate me. Two were kind of scary because I had watched a horror movie and I recognized the mask. It was based on a true story so I was a tad unsettled, until the next child came. All in all it was quite a night and I was more generous with my treats this year. Each child got a Costco popcorn package, some cheetos and a chocolate bar. Some didn't like one treat and were not afraid to say so. I actually found this interesting and good. These little children were quite honest and self assertive. I wondered how many would become the next generation of comedians, lawyers and politicians. At nine, it was over and one of my pets was so mad at me, that he refused to sleep with me, "Mr Attitude." He sat behind me against the glass door not pleased at all that I remained outside the entire time. It was slightly cold but not as bad as previous years so I was quite comfortable with a Costco jacket on. Overall, I was quite impressed with the next generation. Happy Hallowe'en.

The Internet Murders - Continues

“Chapter 3 The hooded figure sat at the library computer. She was not there tonight, which was not surprising. She would be in the hospital for some time. The thrill of the kill seared through the dark figured body. This last one was more exciting than the first. The second, well he was in the way. He had to be terminated like an annoying fly. But this one, the special one now, would get hers, in due time. She would be the favourite toy for a while, and then, when it was time, she would be finished off as well. The hooded figure was not prepared for the feistiness in her. So much resistance was not expected. This would not happen again. A second mistake would not occur. Art needed to be perfected. These women were all trash. The way they spoke on line, all wanting to be desired, not alone. They wanted the Shadow and the Shadow wanted them. Each and every one of them would become the Shadow’s victory and “Wonder Woman” – well, she would wonder all right. The Shadow would be watching the mouse very closely. She would be the chosen one to finally complete the Shadow. ***” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks. https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS ARE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY

I have cut and pasted an essay for you which I wrote during my post grad. As I read it, I thought of the changes from there to now. People who I am reflecting on in my essay are no longer around. Anyhow, what my priority is now to re-design my own web site (redigondapsychotherapy.com). I want to do it myself for economical reasons. So, please continue to bear with me. There is only so much time in a day and I am balancing it all quite well. I am making more time for fun, now that I am fully vaccinated and spending time with others in kind. I was just given about 6 more books to read and I am looking forward to it. I still have to get up to date with all the routine medical stuff after taking a hiatis during COVID. I also got my flu shot early this year, while last year it was almost impossible. Once my web site is finished, I shall let you know and you can take a peak. For now, here is another assignment. By the end of the week I will post more from "The Internet Murders". Bye for now. HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS ARE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY By Silva Redigonda HOW THE CULTURAL ELEMENTS OF POST-MODERNITY ARE ACTIVE IN MY IMAGE OF GOD, SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THEOLOGY, MINISTRY AND WAYS OF LIVING, FEELING AND INTERPRETING; HOW THESE POST-MODERN DYNAMICS MAY BE ACTIVE IN MY CHURCH COMMUNITY My understanding of the post-modern world is based on the authors Gallaghar and Borgman. The next ten pages will reveal what that understanding is in development with the authors. Borgmann describes postmodernism has a movement marking an “emerging divide between two epocs.”(Borgmann, p 48) Gallaghar describes postmodernism as remaining “largely in a mode of refutation.” (Gallaghar, p 87) The author continues that cultural post- modernity is beyond critiquing negatively. For some, it provides a new humility that is an opening to faith and, “For others, it is a lethal form of relativism that undermines all truth claims.” (ibid. p 87) Borgmann agrees that there is a division of how postmodernism is viewed. Some welcome a post-modernist label for their work, while others are “offended” by it (Borgmann, p 48). I view postmodernism as a process of recognition and protest and of moving ahead. I view post-modernism as a new view from one that has exhausted itself. I view postmodernism as a recognition that things are not always as they seem. I view postmodernism as a foundational shift of saying no. I view postmodernism as a movement towards a new spirituality; a new inclusiveness because for God there are no outsiders. We are in an era of exploration. We are no longer white and Western. We are a combination of all people around us and we are moving towards a new era of being one. There is a collectiveness; a unity. People are more educated. People are asking more questions. Curiosity is encouraged. There is an expectation. People need to have things make sense to them. All this and more is post-modernity. I agree with Gallagher and Borgmann that there are different views regarding postmodernism. Some feel that it is all negative, others positive, while still others seem to find its’ meaning within the spectrum of the two. Borgmann depicts a cultural change in economics. Large companies, “have shrunk or disintegrated” (Borgmann, p 62). Borgmann adds that though the American economy appears to be declining, others such as “Japan” and “Germany” are thriving (ibid, p 62). Gallagher’s post-modernism distrusts institutions as manipulative forms of oppression by the powerful (Gallagher p 89). As corporations dismantle, jobs are lost and people are faced with a new reality. How will they feed their families? How will they pay their mortgages? Can they continue to live in their homes? Where do they turn to? How do they deal with such a shift? Corporations redefine themselves into other companies, others merge in unity such as the banks in attempting to hold on to their massive power, still others take advantage of the low cost of labour in third world countries, paying pitiful wages for long treacherous work, in poor conditions. The paradigmatically post modern firm is a small group of well educated people, eager and alert to find market openings and to fill them quickly with high-quality goods and services. Informed cooperation is second nature here, a necessity of prosperity. (Borgmann, p 77) In Educational Psychology I learned that in post-modernity the entire concept of competition needs to be re-examined because it does not work. Only by cooperation and brainstorming together rather than against each other can we be stronger. And in a work shop for the career woman I learned that five years is the length of time one should be prepared to work in this post-modern world. Work pensions, stability and loyalty to an employer for a lifetime will shortly be behind us. I agree with Borgmann that post-modern cooperation, would be sustained not by a rigid structure but by shared information and flexible adaption.”(ibid, p 77). In the process the poor grow poorer and the richer become richer while the middle class struggle to maintain their status. What does this do to our spirituality? We seek help. There are those who feel betrayed by governments, who turn to others for help and others are helping. There are those who turn to God, even those who deny God, are seeking God. They call this spirituality and prefer it to the concept of religion because, “postmodernism does not so much reject atheism as assume it.”(ibid, p 90) Some find themselves growing closer to God and others scramble also with others for a new definition of God. Both return to a classical world of mythology and/or Jesus in a movement to find meaning in their lives that supersedes the situation they find themselves in. They look or deny God but it is God who they search for, for meaning of their existence in a world that seems fragile. “Postmodernity, at least in some of its tendencies, is much less sure about atheism.”(ibid, p 92) Postmodernism becomes about relationships with God and with each other. It is also about our relationship with ourselves. We look into the past “because in order to go forward we also need to go back.”(ibid, p100) By looking at our past we try to regain the importance of relationships with God and with each other. As my friends have lost their corporate careers here at home and I see them either suffer or content to slow down, I feel an ongoing transition that is not quite finished and therefore I agree with Anthony Giddens who “argues that it is premature to label our age postmodern” (Gallagher, p 91) . Yesterday, another friend from Germany informed me that her position after seventeen years has been terminated because her company is dismantling. Germany too is affected. Fortunately, she is financially secure. Already, my German friend is determined to redefine herself and start again. But not all are so strong. How is this cultural element of post-modernity active in my image of God? I have always felt that there is so much we do not know and understand. We have the Bible. We have Jesus. We have our Pope. We have prayer and a sense of another; at least I am aware of God. But it also does not make sense to me. Perhaps I am a dreamer. Perhaps I like to focus on good. But my eyes are not closed. Postmodernism is a turning point of looking at how we can help each other and our community. God is very much around and I can see God in all this mess. I was sitting in a bakery shop, shortly after taking a second retirement and starting school at Regis. I was wondering if I would be able to make it on my pensions. I was eating a pastry and drinking a coffee and feeling the stress of change. I felt a presence in the seat beside me or at least from the area and I then felt comforted. I did not understand it but I know it was related to God. I know that I can return to the working force at anytime but I have given myself to God and to me. In my living room, while deciding if I should go to Regis, to study theology or go to Ryerson for a Masters in psychology, I said to God, that I had lived my life the way I liked for my first half and the second half my life will literally would belong to God. I am more conscious of God of being everywhere and within us at the same time. In this second term of life, of postmodernism, I want to continue to help people in a different way than I did before. I want to validate who they are as people of God. We have globally made a mess of things and now we have to fix it and it can only be done in my opinion with God’s help, returning to values bestowed by Jesus. Who is God in this post-modernity? I don’t really know. My image of God is consistent. My image of God is transcendent. My image of God is the person who walks down the street, young or old, beautiful or painful to the eyes. I see God in all beauty. I see God in nature. I will look at my pet and marvel at her beautiful face and I will look at my other pet and tell him that God smudged him when he designed his face. My prayer is usually a discussion with God and I try to hear God. Too often I do not hear anything unless I am in crises and then I feel; is it God? I go to communion and feel something in my central core. Is that Jesus? I know there is something but I am not really sure of the image, only the sensation of God. I keep company with those who I feel are kind. I extend my arm to those who need me and I prepare for a ministry of counselling so I can be a pillar for those who suffer. I want to minister to anyone but strictly from a place of Catholicism. I realize there is poverty in my church community, but somehow it is being missed, denied or rejected. A professor once said that Christmas begins during this date and ends at this date and my mind ventured to what Christmas is to me. To me Christmas is all year. I wish that the festivities and warmth and exchanges can last all year. In my church I know that there are people poor in spirit and poor in finances. When at Christmas people donated food items, I learned that people called the church for some of that food. Yet, it had all been sent out. When I suggested that we have our own food bank, I was instructed by parishioners that people in our church do not need food; they only want food taken care for them so they can use their money for other things. This tears at my heart and I must talk to the pastor to try to persuade him that there is a need for some members. Why not have a food bank in a church? This will be my project this summer. This is part of postmodernism. It is recognizing needs and doing something about it or trying to. Having poor people in my church is a new concept that was not recognized before and still is not by too many. With new immigrants from the third world, low paying jobs, and others losing theirs, a new class of people is coming to my church which did not exist before - a poor class. This is not being seen by all, even our priests. This may be related to the concept that, “Churches are perceived as being part of the naïve and authoritarian past.” (Gallagher, pp 89-90) This extends to my theology. As a theological student I ponder how during Holy week, I must prioritize my study and papers before celebrating Lent. This is the second year that Holy Week took a secondary role. Yet when I was working, I had the four days off and thus could devote myself entirely to God. I wonder that the Classical view of Adam and Eve is still recited literally and ponder why? This too I am sure will change because things need to make sense now for people. In amongst all this imbalance, “Work is replaced by shopping and the fetish of style” (Gallagher, p 90) and “banks offer you dozens of ways of protecting and profiting from your money.”( Borgmann, p 74) This extends to money that one does not have. This is borrowing off mortgages with astronomical interest rates, bank loan sharks, and credit cards which seem to be the only source of payment in a post-modern culture. People with too much money and little time for anything else can enjoy the abundance of services provided for their benefits. “…it [the service industry] provides intangible goods, it needs no space for its offerings.” (ibid, p 74) This can range from those who will worry for you, “about your dog’s diet, the safety of your child…the mess of your files…”(ibid, p 74). You can find a service for absolutely anything including how to declutter your home. At the other side of the spectrum you have people who cannot manage to live on the minimum wage and hospitality continues to expect you to pay for his employee’s wages with tips. It is no longer to insure prompt service. Tipping is to ensure these employees can afford to eat. This is what I ponder when I have horrendous service and still tip. Jesus had a soft spot for the poor and this image is extended to me. I too have a soft spot for the poor. Perhaps, it is because my father was poor when he was a boy. My mother often told me that my dad ate so much because there was so little for him during the war. My father never spoke of it and never complained. He worked hard and saved his money and tried to instil those values in me. I sponsor a child with world vision and donate but I do not give much, unless there is a disaster in the world. I have put myself first and right or wrong, I continue to do so financially. I do like fine things but I do not need to buy the latest or best. What I buy I use until it is dead. My oven is green. My television died after 28 years of service. But, I did replace it with the best after its demise. I do not shop on Sundays and if no one else did than it would become a day of rest for those who have to work on Sundays without wanting to. I buy what I like for clothing and keep it until it is worn. I put on my front lawn anything that can be recycled and that includes placing any items I do not need anymore but that can be used by someone. I do not need to take it anywhere because all is picked up and used from my front lawn in my neighbourhood. I rarely shop at Wal-Mart and if others did the same there would be no Wal-Mart. I realize my power as an individual. When the city came out with saving money by using water at specific hours for washing clothes, I called them and informed them that I would wash my clothes when I wanted and that all this was doing was exploiting the poor. It is the poor who will try to accommodate the city and it is the poor, with God knows how many menial jobs, who need to wash when they can. I buy my prescription drugs locally and it was my father who impressed upon me that this is what I should do. And so, I no longer get my prescriptions at Costco at cheaper prices. I support the little man as much as possible and within my ability. I will stop when I am shopping to listen to a stranger’s sad story. I will buy a pie from a stranger whose husband no longer has a job and this is the only way, a wife can try to support her family. And in church I make that extra effort to be approachable to the poor so that they can come to me not only when I am Eucharistic Minister but when they need me to read something for them or to explain something to them. One priest remarked that we live in a wealthy area [from his perspective] and chastised people for going inside and locking their doors when he was walking in the neighbourhood. He found that people were doing this when a stranger, not well kept, was walking through. I call this fear. The priest remarked that the man could be God. I thought of an older man, some years earlier who was caught in the rain and he huddled to the neighbour’s tree next door. It was pouring and the wind was brutal. I was concerned that he might be struck by lightning. I offered him my enclosed alcove. I asked him if he wanted a coffee and he said yes. So I made him a coffee with the sugar and milk he wanted and along with a cookie which he also accepted. I brought it out to him. I ensured he was dry but did not invite him into my home because I did not know who he is. I never saw him again. There is so much crime that never existed before with such magnitude in our city that apprehension has become the norm. This I suggest is also part of postmodernism. Another infliction of post-modernity is loneliness. Computers have replaced the, “the social connective tissue that is made up of voices and shouts, of gestures and expressions…” (Borgmann, p 69). Computers also allow people to do most of their work away from the workplace, thus removing the person from the social exposure related to work. Borgmann offers an example of computers in restaurants to demonstrate limited communication for the promotion of efficiency, “ …no other communication between waiters and waitresses and kitchen staff is normally permitted…it obviates disputes endemic in most restaurants... ” (ibid p 69). Gallagher writes of how he and his students, “discussed how in postmodernity the fate of the self deepens into a new isolation and loss of connections.” (Gallagher, p 92) I have been to five funerals this semester and as a result, I realized I lost connections with too many relatives and old friends. First it was work and then it was school that kept me focused for the moment. I realize that I am missed and that I to missed those connections. I am intent in renewing old relationships this summer between semesters. In my image of God, I see Jesus reaching out to the poor, the sick and the lonely. Jesus always cured, encouraged, and motivated. He was a teacher for us to do the same. I have asked for coffee time at my church so the poor and lonely can communicate with others and have some type of socializing. This is also good for the not so poor so they are not leaving the church service to go to their respective comfortable homes but encouraged to look into the faces of others and not only see the similarities but also see the differences. This has been turned down because there are four masses of three different languages and the English speaking mass is last. It is felt that the English speaking population would be considered favoured if there was coffee served after that mass. Coffee after each mass is not an option. Oh, for Christmas to be extended Lord, for at Christmas we have many functions, even after the English speaking mass. I see division, rather than unity by the services done in different languages. If the mass was said in only the English language perhaps people would see other cultures and recognize them has fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Even if the mass was done in different languages at the same time, segregation might not be so visible. But this is not noticed by my church and therefore Coffee hour is still a vocation not lost to me. I spoke of this to my mother and she told me that when immigrants were coming to Canada in the past, they would have a separate service in the basement of the church. At least now, they share the same space. When I offered free counselling and parishioners came to me for it, it was at Our Lady of Lourdes where they came to me for counselling, more than 10 miles from where they could have gone if there was space within our own church. Still they did do that weekly for an entire year without complaining. I love my church and my priests. They do the best they can. We all have different perspectives. I pray that God leads me to where I am expected to be and do the most within my ability. I love the comfort of my home. I love my pets and family and friends and I love to socialize. I have always been drawn to people and love parties. Yet, I know that there are people who are alone, who are not socialized and who do not have friends. I make myself available to them as a person and as a counsellor. I see an open honesty and goodness in them. There is so much work to be done in the post-modern world. On Good Friday, and I received a flyer at my home from a fellow parishioner. It was an advertisement that two neighbouring Catholic churches were holding a procession which would pass along my street. The group would gather at one church and walk passes my church and then stop at the second Church. It was requested that a candle be lit and placed on the verandah while the procession passed. I decided to light several candles and brought out an angel (it was pointed out to me by a friend that I have angels in every room. I had not noticed). As night fell, I waited for the procession to arrive. A police vehicle led the sea of lights walking down the hill. It was blocks of people. The policeman remarked how amazing it was as he drove by me. I responded that it was wonderful, never taking my eyes away from the people. I noticed two neighbours who are not Catholic bring out a candle and light it and unwanted tears stained my face. It was the first time during holy week that I had felt touched by the Lord’s passion. At this moment watching Catholics and non Catholics coming together to marvel as crosses and a statue of Mary made its way past our homes, I felt that this was the best that post-modernity had to offer. There was only a mysterious aura of awe. No words were necessary. At this moment I felt proud of my country and church. I felt proud that there was a unity of the faithful and that it touched all. There was a silence as people walked by. I noticed the porch lights coming alive as people who had no candles lit their verandahs. People from other streets came to ours to watch. Though I have seen many processions walk by my house and elsewhere, none impacted me as much. We are living in a world of post-modernity. The authors have clearly depicted a time of computers and economic change that requires and is getting a renewal of attention. With this change there is a movement towards relationships. Our economic culture which has failed to sustain us is crumbling and we are redefining ourselves as people in relationship with each other and with God. It is a new generation that is more educated, more spiritual, and is asking more questions. We are aware of change as we are forced to see our needs revamping. Systems in place are changing. Corporations that have grown strong and powerful are collapsing. Through all this unsettlement, relationship is becoming important not only with ourselves and each other but also with the other – God, if realized or not. Bibliography Borgmann, Albert. Crossing the Postmodern Divide. “The Postmodern Critique of Realism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1992. Gallagher, Michael Paul. Clashing Symbols: An Introduction To Faith And Culture. “The Postmodern Situation – Friend or Foe? London: Darton, Longman and Todd, 1997.

Bringing you up to date about me - How about me?

Today I am attending a 6 hour webinar with “Sisters in Crime.” I have had to put my book aside once again. I know that I could finish it all if I could be isolated for one month with only coffee and food and my pets. However, I work for a living which I enjoy. I have had to turn down webinars once again which I would like and learn from, but unfortunately I am already booked. I have appointments now up to December. I am also getting up to date with my physical health which my doctors have been patiently waiting for me and so now take full opportunities with bringing me up to date. I am fortunate to have a good physician and eye doctor. Both worked through the pandemic and saw their patients. It was me saying no, not til I am fully vaccinated. Now I am, with Pfizer. I have become more patient with people who are not. I ask and learn, that some are simply scared not understanding that that they have more to fear from getting COVID. Another person told me that she didn’t believe COVID existed until her mother got it. Others are confused because of the false information. Others are concerned of how our levels of government provide confusing data. What do I think? I do think that our government is doing its best. Can it do better? Of course, but perfection does not exist. I think we need to enhance our education system. I didn’t learn about vaccines until I studied, “Medicine, Biology and the human body.” It was a first year course. I think we need to provide this in high school perhaps more simplified. As I mentioned before I was forced to drop Science in high school because I refused to dissect a frog. That stopped me from moving on to other courses because it was a pre-requisite. That was a shame because I love science. I know that students in university still suffer because they feel forced to do to animals what they find unethical. It is when they stop suffering that they need to worry. I think that if a student finds something difficult such as dissecting an animal they shouldn’t be forced to drop the course unless they require it for their profession. On a lighter note, as you know Revenue Canada killed me this year, so my Accountant knows by now that he is fired, and will not be surprised when I don’t see him next year. I am still paying back more than I thought was possible. So, I have booked two courses for next month, one for Corporate taxes and the other for regular individual business. I haven’t decided if I shall return to doing my own taxes or find another Accountant. I learned from Revenue Canada that Accountants making errors is not uncommon. The question is how much should I do myself? When I do my own taxes, I separate my private practice from my books. My accountant did not. I thought that was the reason I was getting more than usual. I figured they know where the tax breaks come from. I know that I don’t want another year of gathering all info in this computer age. Another thing I have to do now is set up a new website. I have https://www.redigondapsychotherapy.com . Go Daddy offered to do it for me for a discounted price, but it is still too high for me at the moment so that is my next project I want to try to start next week by watching the video and slides. I have used my old site for 10 years it appears which I also did myself. I notice my photo is pretty lame too. I always change my look, so does it really matter? I haven’t done a professional photo yet because I don’t want to disappoint my clients when they actually see me. My shopify for my books is up to date. That was done for me, but I need to make the changes. If you want to buy one of my books or ebooks, feel free to do that at https://.silvaredigonda.ca. I also brought my car in and of course it is struggling on its last legs. Beginning January next year, I will be increasing my prices for new clients by 10.00 a session and another 10.00 a session for the year later, for new clients at that time. I have not increased my prices for some time to try to make it affordable but it is not practical to do so. There are so many resources in Toronto where people can get free care or pay a minimum. I have also dropped all EAP’s. I think that most of my colleagues who have a lot of experience tend to do that - at least people I know. I now suggest that potential clients contact their insurance companies to determine if my name is registered with them or if they cover Registered Psychotherapists. They are provided with a receipt after an online session which they can provide to their insurance. It is always up to the insurance company if they want to accept a particular professional college. This is determined by the employer with what coverage they want for their employee. So that is one less concern I have. I was toying with the idea of being an International consultant since I cannot provide actual therapy world wide due to restrictions. However, I can consult. I am always surprised how much coaches charge world wide and my own colleagues. I was floored the first time I heard it form a fellow student during a web design course I took. She was charging about four times more than I was with a minimum of education. Most of her clients were Asian. I have been told many times that sometimes people judge your qualifications on what you charge rather than your qualifications. I understand that, but I wouldn’t feel right about it, unless it was based on salary on a sliding scale but I don’t want to do that. So that is bringing you up to date. For right now my private practice is where I want it. I don’t have time to consult world wide right now. I am just a one person operation and so I need to ensure that I have balance for fun as well, even during this pandemic. I hope you have a nice weekend. I thank you for reading my blogs. I hope you gain something from it. I usually share what I lean if it is applicable. I do post my old papers when I am starving for time. I have to record all my education hours which I insert in my resume and save for my college. CAMFT also wants a record of my continuing education so I need to catch up on that as well. I normally provide you with the notes and then record the time so that will be coming because my deadline to myself is December. Have a good weekend. Feel free to check my websites. I need to utilize my other sites as well, but it is here that I like to talk to you and bring up to date with everything. Don’t hesitate to ask a question if you are curious about something. Take care.

Confidentiality Case Study – Marital Secrets

Reflection Paper One Silva Redigonda Ethics for the Practice of Psychology provides a case study regarding a psychologist who after many months of providing marital counselling to a couple has since been contacted by the husband asking him to testify at a custody hearing. The psychologist contacts his client’s lawyer to learn that the wife’s numerous affairs will be used to deem her unfit as a mother. The psychologist also contacts the wife who insists that the confidentiality of the counselling sessions be maintained (Truscott, 66). For the purpose of this reflection paper, I am the aforementioned psychologist. (I am in reality a psychotherapist) I will reflect by examining the facts of this case, my ethical values, my theological reflection and my conclusion based on Truscott and Crooks readings. Examining the Facts As I examine this scenario, questions come to mind. What kind of documentation do I have regarding this case? Did I articulate clearly the confidentiality of our sessions? Informed consent means that the client understands the benefits and risks that a psychologist provides and agrees to the conditions (Truscott, 56). In accordance with (IAW) The Canadian Code Of Ethics (Code of Ethics) 1.24, one is to “ensure in the process of obtaining informed consent that at least the following points are understood …. Confidentiality, protections, and limitation…’’ (Truscott, 57). Confidentiality is stressed and standard documentation clearly reveals that, though there is nothing legally binding for the clients to not reveal what is discussed in counseling. The Code of Ethics 111.14 reveals that one should “be clear and straightforward about all information needed to establish informed consent including mutual responsibilities, possible conflicts….” (Truscott, 58). But to what degree is it possible to provide “all” information? Though clients have access to their files which has been established by Case law, McInerney v. Macdonald (1992), the Supreme Court stipulates that there is “not an absolute right to access; a client may be refused access to the records if it can be established that doing so would result in harm to either the client or to a third party”(Truscott, 72). In this case the harmed party would be the wife. The female client clearly does not want anything in counselling to be revealed. The lawyer in this case does not mention a subpoena. This may be a ploy to get information. I would consult a lawyer to determine how I should be phrasing my responses to not accidentally reveal anything that may breech confidentiality or that may incriminate me in the process (Code of Ethics 11.30) (Truscott, 68). My female client who I have reached has requested that I keep the information from the sessions confidential. This is in IAW the Code of Ethics, 1.43 (Truscott, 67). However, if my client did agree to this would I not have a responsibility to advise her that it may not be in her best interest? Should I not recommend a lawyer for her in this situation? Though both husband and wife were my clients and I have a responsibility to them both, at this point my female client is in the most vulnerable position since any release of information occurring in counselling may be used against her by her husband. The Value Statement of Principle 1 indicates that the psychologists have a greater responsibility to one in the most vulnerable position (Truscott, 71). Even if my client has had numerous affairs, she may be a wonderful mother to her children. Therefore, her extra marital affairs are not an indication of her motherhood. My Ethical Values As a Roman Catholic I do believe in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. However, I also believe that when two people can no longer live together and their souls are darkening perhaps it is best to divorce. I think the children in this scenario are being used by the husband in his attempt to get sole support, or to hurt his spouse. This is merely speculation. Things can get very messy in court and though marital affairs can have an effect on the children, in this situation it is unknown what the children know and if it is damaging to them. Does divorce or affairs affect my judgment? No. My concern would be the professional ethics of this situation surrounding confidentiality. Theological Reflection I think of birds that mate for life as an example of God silently telling us his wishes. I marvel at the animal kingdom that make their young such a priority. Dear Lord, please continue to guide me in your wisdom. Help me make the right choices with the free will that we have been given. Conclusion There are many complexities that may occur regarding confidentiality. It is best to be very clear and have signed documentation by all parties so that when confidentiality is in jeopardy for whatever reason it should not be a surprise. I think we need as a profession to re-examine our existing documentation and revise and update wording on a continuous basis resulting from amendments in court. In this scenario, I as a psychologist (remember I am a psychotherapist. This was a class assignment and is not my case. It is hypothetical) did not release any information to the lawyer. There was no court order and even if there was, I would not be providing any information without my own lawyer present, or in a court room. Neither would I, in a real situation contact my client’s lawyer. There would be no need for me to do so. That the lawyer is not contacting me in this situation is interesting. The lawyer has no legal obligation to contact me and knows very well that I cannot divulge information.