Preparing for Winter - What am I up to? Books? Challenges

Well, it has been a challenge with my walking but I am slowly getting better. I have always been athletic until I returned to school and became a therapist which required so much sitting. With the loss of Mr Attitude, I am still missing the little guy. The house is quieter, I can sleep in whenever I want, I can do whatever I want to a degree but I would have him back in a second. I could deal with his heart murmur, his diminishing eye sight (he could still see his treats), his hyperthyroid, but it was his cognition which was a concern. It's one thing when a pet is happy but quite another if he is suffering. I made the decision which I felt was necessary and still do. I still chuckle when I think of him. Most of his things have been given to others who have pets. His stand is enjoyed by one of the neighbour's cat who loves to perch on it. I miss you baby boy and hope that someone is dancing with you upstairs in pet heaven. Well that is enough of my last pet. I did have the dog next door come and visit and the squirrels come to visit daily. Back to challenges - I have had to miss some wonderful conferences but this time has also allowed me to reflect. With some help I am going throughout the house and deciding what I really want and getting rid of the rest. I am also deciding where I want to live next. Niagara Falls is still my focus but I would like to be within walking distance of the falls. Is it now practical? Is my injury going to go away? Is a condo a better option than a house with an apartment for family and friends? Do I retire, continue to work or change occupations? When making decisions I always recommend making a list of pros and cons. I do this automatically in my grey cells but it is better if you write it down. Hallowe'en is next week and the weather should be good. I didn't put out anything this year, the first time ever, but I will certainly put up the tree and lights out for Christmas with help. With my injury, I have also come to realize how many great people I have in my life. So many have offered help. Wow! I am usually the care giver so that has been something. It was my dad who taught me to be independent, but I think I can relax that a bit. As I clear out what I don't use or need, I decide what and who I will give things away. I will donate my helmet, handcuffs, canteen etc....to the legion. I have already donated a few things to the school a few years back. I think of all my plaques and ponder if I am ready to part with them. Perhaps not right now. I am still going through paperwork gradually. Regarding my books, I read them and give them away. I have begun to read again and took advantage of every bit of sun and warmer weather we have been having, working around the weather. Books - Well, I did let my writing slip this year. Life happens. I never launched my book "Ominous". Oh well. I have had to prioritize and when I do that, my hobby comes last. I will be selling Ominious and my other books at the Legion, 7 Dec 24. I should be good by then. I am walking without crutches now and just need them for stairs so they come along with me in the car when I do my stuff. If you are interested in buying my books, I encourage you to do so. Next week, I want to start providing you with info on psych, theology and reading corner once again. Thank you for reading my blogs. I have also decided to open my practice to the Province of Quebec. So if you are living in the province of Quebec and want psychotherapy or couple or family therapy, I am available but keep in mind I do not speak French. Sorry. Bye for now. Web sites: silvaredigonda.ca redigondapsychotherapy.com

Pain (from an undergrad exam dissected for you) tid bits for you.

I am going through some paperwork and found old exams I wrote. The Assessment of three treatments for depression is too long to cut and paste. I will try to find the USB and if it is on it, I will post it. I wrote about another exam indicating pain below for you. It is just a tidbit from what I wrote because that was focused mainly on how the research is done which actually seems elementary to me now and would be boring for you. The paper was mainly multiple choice and I will skip all that. So for now, here goes some basic: People who sleep soundly and are well rested are able to tolerate pain more than those inflicted with chronic pain who cannot sleep. The Placebo effect is an inert chemical. It is normally a tablet of sugar and water made to look like a pharmaceutical drug for the client receiving it. The patient/client would think she is taking perhaps a pain reliever and in fact is taking no such thing. She responds as if the drug was taken instead of the placebo. I believe this works because the brain is fooled. It is believed that the drug would eliminate the pain and therefore it happens. It is the same as with people who take Tylenol (acetaminophen) and think it works immediately rather than after one hour. It is probable connected to Walls and Melyae’s Gate Theory of why some pain impulses reaches the brain and other’s don’t. I believe it triggers the same response. Endorphins could also be released the same way as thinking of something peaceful. It is the power of suggestion.

Imposter Phenomenon at Work: The Hidden Job of Dealing with Self-Doubt

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving - Florida I thought of you and had you in my prayers - Talk about the Conference

It's been quite a bit of activity here in Toronto, but I am not going to talk about that today. I wanted to talk about the conference a bit more. We had two guest speakers and the first spoke about grief. Her experiences and education were not what I experienced. She was a nurse and has a Masters in Death (from the USA) and she talked about the stigma of men crying. In my experiences, men cry. I think the stigma that was so prevelant in the past is changing. I mentioned before that my dad was a crier. He cried when happy, sad, etc....In my family, he was the one who cried and I just accepted that. I also worked in challenging situations with men and they cried. Keeping tears within, when one needs to cry is not healthy. I have told people who keep so much inside to go into their cars, into the woods etc.....and let it all out. I have even offered to walk with them, if required. As the speaker was providing and sharing all aspects of grief, there was one missing. So, I am going to talk about it. It is the grief one may have when having an abortion. This is not about pro choice or against. As a therapist and outside the therapy room I have seen the suffering of women who had abortions and some have never forgiven themselves and mourn their child each and every day. Men too grieve, especially when they feel they have had no say. They feel that their child was killed. There is also the associated feelings of guilt and shame. What I normally suggest is a ritual for their loss. It can be lighting a candle, and giving the child a name. My thoughts go back to my undergrad when a nurse in my class arrived late and in a foul mood. I knew something was wrong and asked. She said she had assisted in an abortion at her hospital (no choice) and the fetus was not killed. After everyone had left the room, she held the fetus which had been dropped into a pail, until the fetus died. She was devastated. Not long afterwards I shared that story with a firefighter I knew and I saw the tears flow down his face. If you are out there and this has happened to you, please share it with someone. You don't have to carry this with you. There are services out there that provide guidance for women who are grieving because they had an abortion. They also provide a memorial service and each woman can light a candle for her child. I would like to think that they accept men. We lose thought of how people suffer and why. The second speaker is an American, Pete Sandoval, LPC, MA, RP (Qualifying). I found him to be excellent. He specializes in trauma therapy and is also trained in EMDR, and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP). He now practices in Kitchener-Waterloo and across Ontario at Grand River Healing. His question? If you had tears and they could talk, what would they say? I think you are getting the drift. I missed my live conferences and the sharing of minds. The food was great as well. I brought home one table vase of flowers and am so happy that it made it home. It is difficult to see the disolving of such an important Association. We are going through changes and so grief was an appropriate topic. Allow yourself to grieve and if you need help or support, reach out. There are topics that people fear to talk about because of stigma or politics etc....My objective is to help people, help themselves. So, I always address the elephant in the room. I wanted to attend a PTSD conference this week but unfortunately cannot make the drive. I was informed that I shouldn't drive for more than 15minutes and that is quite a drive. Oh well, Disney World is out too obviously for another conference. I should be ok with my education hours. Take care.

Memorial for Mr Attitude - Pet Grief - Conference

Saturday, I attended the final Conference (50 years)of the Ontario Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Part of the conference included a presentation on grief. How appropriate since it includes loss of pets, work etc....beyone the obvious. I will speak more about the conference next week. I am behind once again and so am trying to catch up with my paper war. I am doing it with balance. I wish you a wonderful week. Take time to smell the flowers. The centre piece flowers is from the conference. Mr Attitude's bed has gone to the dogs. He never liked the bed, but I am glad someone else does. Of course we have Mr Attitude's photo of another Halloween

It has been a year since Israel was attacked

Today is the anniversary of that horrible day when Hamas mercilessly killed and kidnapped people, children and pets in an unprovoked attack against Israel. It was a tragedy which continues to cost so many lives. It is also a day that caused a rise in anti-semitism here at home. Our city hasn’t done enough to stop the destructive protests and too many politicians have failed to protect all citizens in our city. There is a difference between hatred and democracy and we need a strong government to take the reins. I myself was attacked in writing for failing to support the terrorists - Hamas. To stop this horrible war there needs to be a release of all hostages. Let them go home and allow the healing to begin. There has been so much suffering because of war, started by dictators and terrorists that doesn’t belong in any society. We could offer so much, if we could unite in peace.

No more dances with Mr Attitude - My baby boy has gone to pet heaven - I wish I had one more dance.

He was losing weight, yet eating like a pig. He was dehydrated, drinking more than ever. He had a heart murmour but he was also suffering more than likely from alzheimer's and that is why I had to make the painful decision to put my baby down. He was about 21 years of age. He acted like a mother hen, forcing me off the computer for regular breaks, lunch and the end of the day. He ensured I woke up promptly at 7 am. When I was dealing with a difficult case, he would snuggle up to me and just hug me. He had a wonderful, happy life and though I couldn't take a holiday, he was my mini holiday each day. He didn't have a home when I first noticed him. He was wild and so if I didn't adopt him he would have been put down. He had been locked inside a neighbour's house while it was being renovated and with no food and little water he managed to survive. With lots of patience, I taught him to feel safe. I taught him not to hunt birds and especially mice and rats. In his early years he was so grateful to me that he brought me a live rat bigger than his self. He didn't like people, but he loved me. I noticed him decline when I injured my leg and was restricted in my own walking. He wanted me to move quicker and I couldn't dance with him anymore, which he loved. He would move in front of the stairs as I crawled up so I could pick up his tiny body and move it up one step at a time. He wanted to jump on me from the dining room table and he wanted to jump into the bathtub, neither a good idea. He would yell out to let me know where he was and that led him doing the same at night. His crying increased and Friday night he cried all night and I knew I had to bring him to emerg. I did. I kissed his tiny head and told him he was going home as the solution to make him die took effect. I was asked by the vet if I wanted to be present. Let him die without me there was unthinkable. No more pets. I have loved my three animals, all wild, all from the streets because no one wanted them. Misty girl was a grey sweet girl and she cried when I buried her babies. She was the first to die and the vet had suspected poisoning. I interviewed all the neighbours and put them on high alert. It was Misty who brought me Holy Terror, the most beautiful cat I ever had. She too was sweet and only wanted to be near me. However, I still remember when she jumped on my stomache after staring at me for awhile as I lay on the sofa. I doubled up in pain, but just accepted that she was an animal and didn't know any better. She never did it again, but she wanted to be at my side at every opportunity. I had to put her down over a year ago now which I wrote in my blog. That was the most painful, even though this time it really hurts as well. I just hope that they are all together now. They have all given me such joy and were worth every missed holiday away. Thank you God for giving them to me. Now, please take care of them.