International Families Alliance Webinar Series: Legal Perspectives: Challenges and Strategies on High Conflict Separation. (For Men)

Last night I attended this webinar which focuses on the protection and rights of men. Now some of you reading this will be confused. How can I be concerned about men if I am concerned about women? Simply put, I am concerned about everyone. My experiences with men have been positive. Men have for the most part been my greatest supporters. Since I was a child I was surrounded by men. My mentors have all been men. I grew up with men and I worked with men for most of my life. Yes, some I could have done without, but that only taught me to play nice with others, even when I didn’t want to. We are a product of our all that we have been exposed to and then some. In the fall I will be attending the Men’s conference in Toronto. I am interested in men and their well being. Don’t get me wrong. There are some men I simply can’t stand but need to tolerate. That tis life. I stayed with the webinar last night for an hour and a half as scheduled. Mr Attitude is not happy when I work nights and neither am I so I stayed on schedule. When I left they were talking about PTSD and one lawyer was telling a man that he should get a therapist who won’t write notes because that was his concern. That surprised me because as a Registered Psychotherapist I am obligated to take notes. So let’s get this straight. I am obligated to report, if I believe a client will commit suicide. I have to believe it however. In my career I have heard endless times how someone wants to die without really meaning it. If I believed it, I would report it immediately. I also have to report if my client is going to harm someone. I have to report child abuse. I also have to attend court if subpoenaed. That is the law. I take notes. It is required. However it was not my webinar. Now keep in mind that I am in Ontario. I am regulated. There are provinces in Canada that have no regulations. So, lets get back to the webinar. The same lawyer was bashing a psychologist in court because she wasn't forceful enough. Now, I am not going to say that this lawyer belongs in a different era. What I will say is the psychologist was right. There is no agenda. I have been asked to go to court for clients and I have refused and will probably continue to say no. Why? Because when I see a client and see a client with his or her partner, same gender or otherwise and when I see the family dynamics when family members come aboard there is a constant shift of tension or otherwise. More things come out. There is anger and other emotions which at times come out which open core issues before there is healing. So I don't think it would be fair for me to go to court in favour of one person and that is what I have been seeing in the courts. I don't care who pays me. What I found beneficial is that there are five support groups for men virtually. I found the men on the chat line very open about their feelings and willingness to help other men facing the same problems. One of the lawyers was stating that men have it tough. He suggested that if a man is found not guilty in criminal court to let them know in family court. There is also “hybrid” which didn’t exist during my time. An offence was either Summary or Indictable (more serious). Now hybrid can be either, depending on the Crown. If you want to appeal the decision you can go to superior court. Feel free to ask the clerk what to do. I also didn’t know that in Barrie Ontario, the superior and provincial court are in the same building. Have a nice day.

Peel Committee Against Woman Abuse. Continues.... Creating a Safer Environment

2.Creating a Safer Environment -Review your emergency escape plan often. Have a telephone/cell phone list of local police, nearest women’s shelter, assaulted women’s help line, crisis help line, family members, counsellors, and chidren’s friends. make arrangements with family or friends to stay with them if required. try to predict the next likely violent episode (eg. full moon)and make plans to have the children sent to a safe place (family; friends). Teach children to let you know when someone is at the door before opening the door. Teach children how to contact police and fire department). Create a code word for your children and or friends so they know to call for help. Teach the children how to make a collect call if your partner takes them away. Plan your emergency exits and teach your children. Have your children know their own safety plan. To be continued with “If you are not living with your abusive partner/spouse.”

For Love of Country - Military Policewoman - Now selling to the entire world. Any problems please let me know. silvaredigonda.ca

My thoughts dwelled on the future and all the prospects that were open to me. The rest of the trip to Cornwallis was pleasant. There was a bus ride from the plane, and I marveled at the wooden country houses scattered on the hills. The valley was an inviting welcome for visitors. I felt my heartbeat accelerate with anticipation. Saturday, October 12, we arrived at Cornwallis at 5: 30 PM. The woman shouting at us had short-cropped brown hair. She too was masculine and nondescript. She was telling us how we should make our beds. She spoke of hospital beds and bouncing coins off the mattress. It was rather amusing watching someone barking messages across. After a short speech, or rather a list of instructions, we were shown to our respective rooms. I was amazed at having my own room, which was a fair size. This was to become my home for the following ten weeks. The room was sparsely furnished, with a standard military single bed: basically a single mattress over a brown iron spring frame. A wooden desk and a four-drawer cabinet completed the room. A plain beige curtain framed the window. A greenish mat hid under the bed on the wooden floor. The room was painted two different shades of green, depending on which wall you were facing. There was also a huge metal chest near the bed. This was my new home – grim. I looked out the window and saw rows of white and green wooden buildings surrounded by beautiful trees. I felt I had gone back into time. I was no longer nervous.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “For love of country : military policewoman.” I will mail my books out to the entire world where there is a post office. No post office? No problem. I also have ebooks. For your copy order directly from me at www.silvaredigonda.ca

silvaredigonda.ca

Ontario - Air Quality Health Index (AQHI) - Environment Canada

Ontario - Air Quality Health Index (AQHI) - Environment Canada

Just want to say thank you world for helping us fight our fires

Today I am in my home with windows closed and of course making myself comfortable, because I can be. There is an air quality alert because of the fires in Quebec and Ontario. Of course they have fires out West too. It is unfortunate that the world is not taking global warning seriously. They are too busy causing needless wars and/ or justifying control, or attempting to control other countries, and of course making money as if that will be all that matters in the long run. It won't. Take a wake up pill while you still can. Let's take global warming seriously and stop all this nonsense. We have bigger concerns than petty senseless wars. Now that I ranted for a few sentences, I want to say sorry to New York City because our smoke is causing problems in your own city. I really want to thank the States (including Minnesota)I love my neighours, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and anyone else that I have missed. When we are in crises, we also see the best in people. Keep safe firefighters as you protect us. Last night I could smell the wood burning. That is what gave me a wake up call.

Woman Abuse - Creating a Safety Plan

Well, a long time ago I promised to provide you with a Peel safety plan which I came to when I was working as an Intern at a Women Crises Centre. No men were allowed inside. I dealt mostly with new immigrants who were being abused by their husbands. In some of the countries they came from they were completely dominated by the culture. This is also brought here and some men will not permit their wives to be without them. Let me be clear. This is Canada and women are afforded the same rights as men. Also know that when you come into this country, if you want to leave your husband, you can. Women here, regardless if they are Canadian or not are subjected to physical, sexual, financial and emotional abuse. I worked at the Crises Centre for a year which afforded me much learning. There is a lot of talk about fearing the police. Let me again be clear. Do not hesitate to call them if you need help. There are women shelters, support staff etc...to help you. Men too are abused but for this series I will be talking to women only since the plan was created for them. This package was compiled by women who have survived and offer their advise to you. The following is a list of items you should try to set aside and hide in a safe place (at a friend's place, or family member's home or with your lawyer (I will add that it never hurts to see a lawyer to check what your rights are. Laws change). 1. An emergency Escape Plan ::Take a photocopy of your passport, birth certificates, immigration papers for all family members, School and vaccination records, driver's license and registration, medications, prescriptions, medical records for all family members, welfare identification, work permits, divorce papers, custody documentation, court orders, restraining orders, marriage certificate. Open a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements or other calls be made to you. Save and set aside as much money as you can - out of groceries if needed. Have enough money for a taxi or Uber. Plan your emergency exits. Plan and practice the steps you will take if you have to leave quickly. Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, money etc....at a friend's house you trust. Keep an emergency suitcase/bag handy or to pack quickly. Get a safety deposit box at a bank your partner doesn't use. The Police can bring you back to the home later to remove additional belongings. When you leave take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from the other parent unless you have a valid court order. To be continued with 2. Creating a Safer Environment.

Strategies on High Confict Couples - Open to the public