Scam alert - This is a very poor attempt but still about 55 Canadians a day were victims of a scam last year according to the gov't of Canada- so I shall post it.

This mail is been writing to you because we have come to understand that you have lost a lot of money all because you want to receive your fund well note that all that have been put to a stop as the federal government of Nigeria has promised to assist you with the sum of $5million in other to compensate you and all you have to do is fill the below information s. 1 full name 2 home phone and cell phone number 3 occupation 4 amount that was lost by you Send this and get back at once. Warm regards Femi

The Internet Murders cont... For your signed copy www.silvaredigonda.ca

“He looked up at the entrance to the building and began looking for cameras. Nothing. How could there not be a surveillance camera in this day and age? How does that happen? He joined Philip, once his partner stopped talking to the blond man, who seemed to be the only one sober. “So, did city boy blondie give you anything good? That boy is so good looking he should be a girl.” “No, nothing much, Tomo. But, if not for them, that girl would definitely not have made it. Let’s go to the hospital.” *** The next morning, Sandra opened her eyes slowly. Her entire body ached, including her eyelids, which did not want to open. She heard herself moan. Is this what it feels like waking up from the dead? She slowly peered out from her jellied lids and the room began to come into some focus. She was in a hospital room, hooked up to a machine with intravenous. The male nurse walked in.” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks.

Fraud, fraud, fraud. Don't fall for it. I post this for you for you to be aware. Nothing legitimate here.

I am sorry to inform you that your device was compromised. I'll explain what led to all of this. I have used a Zero Day vulnerability with a special code to infect your device through a website. This is a complicated software that requires precise skills that I have. It works as a chain with specially crafted and unique code and that’s why this type of an attack can go undetected. You only need one not patched vulnerability to be infected, and unfortunately for you – it works that simple. You were not targeted specifically, but just became one of the quite a few unlucky people who got hacked that day. All of this happened a few month ago. So I’ve had time to collect information on you. I think you already know what is going to happen next. During that time, my software was quietly collecting information about your habits, websites that you visit, searches you do, texts you send. There is more to it, but I have listed a few reasons for you to understand how serious this is. For you to clearly understand, my software controlled your camera and microphone as well and it was impossible for you to know about it. It was just about right timing for me to get you privacy violated. I’ve been waiting enough and have decided that it’s time to put an end to this. So here is my offer. I need a consulting fee to delete the media content I have been collecting. Your privacy stays untouched, if I get paid. Otherwise, I will leak the most damaging content to your contacts and post it to a public tube for perverts to explore. I understand how damaging this will be for you, and amount is not that big for you to keep your privacy. Please dont blame me – we all have different ways of making a living. I have no intention of destroying your reputation or life, but only if I get paid. I don’t care about you personally, that's why you can be sure that all files I have and software on your device will be deleted immediately after I receive the transfer. I only care about getting paid. My modest consulting fee is 1650 US Dollars transferred in Bitcoin. Exchange rate at the time of the transfer. You need to send that amount to this wallet: 1M6JzrEt3VYpjcwvXyy8GwewGTHjv8bTgQ The fee is non negotiable, to be transferred within 2 business days. We use Bitcoin to protect my identity. Obviously do not try to ask for any help from anybody unless you want your privacy to be violated. I will monitor your every move until I get paid. If you keep your end of the agreement, you wont hear from me ever again. Take care.

During the Black lives era (notes from a day lecture)

I attended a day long lecture held by Dr Brown. He has a doctrine in theology and born in Panama. He said that the first time he felt different was when he went to Costa Rica to study theology. He found that they spoke different. His roommate told him that people there found him greedy. In the 1950’s they offer you food and you take it. That’s how he experienced cultural differences. During the break out session what was discussed, was understanding coming from privilege. Ageism - now openings for minorities and others are losing. Prism of lenses - body shape and weight - cultural differences. Single groups - stigmatized. Toronto has mixed housing and therefore there are more opportunities for education. People look at height and physical attraction has a positive. CEO’s are extremely tall. There is discrimination at an unconscious level. Language : a big thing in Canada and the U.S. - it’s more about accents. In Canada the two dominant languages are English and French. In the States it is English and Spanish (I am going to include here that English is the universal language, not mentioned in the seminar). Dr Brown’s definition of culture is a way of seeing and making sense of the world in a community context. He talked about people refusing to see ethnicity in themselves. He spoke of a son’s dad, Irish in descent who was ostracized because he married a black woman. The father never spoke about his family. He over compensated when he moved to a new country because he didn’t get it in his old country. How do people see me as different? How do I see others who are different from myself? When you look up at someone, you miss the downside. When you look down at someone, you miss the upside. Dr Brown indicated that just by showing with a client, you have power because of the therapeutic relationship. Be aware of that blind spot. He said that sometimes black people (did I mention that Dr Brown is a black man?) don’t want to show vulnerabilities. They want to appear perfect. Desire to appear perfect. People see them as defective. It is important for families to understand that it is true. How to advocate for the child’s need: sometimes parents do not know. You need to advocate in the system - organizations are there. Skin colour - Canadians tend to be of the notion of no slavery - not so. There was slavery in Canada. Dr Brown also spoke of scientific racism, the spread of bogus theories of supposed black inferiority in an attempt to rationalize slavery and centuries of social and economic domination and plunder. Racialized by complexion - appearance and public perception (1894 Supreme Court decision: Don’t look black, but still black: Plessy v. Fergusson). 1950’s Population Act declared that all South Africans be classified into one of three races - white, native, (black African or coloured) neither white, nor “native”. Lighter hue and straighter hair - greater privilege. He spoke of generalizations even regarding the police. He spoke of the definition of Ontario Human rights Commission - Criminal profiling - defers from racial profiling which relies on actual behaviour or on information about suspect. Racial is based in stereotypical assumptions. He spoke of a man who was lynched for looking at a woman. They threw his body in a river. The mother showed her son’s body to the world which caused a civil movement. Dr Brown said that white people march in black lives matter because of shame (I may not agree with this. I find it too general. Would like to see research). Black lives matter has begun a conversation if not anything else. Protests were led primarily by whites and went global. He spoke of Multicultural Churches in Canada. White man rules. When a church is considered black, white people leave. This happens whenever there is a 30% representation of a particular group. This disrupts the system. Essential diversity - I may be losing power in what I am used to. I may be the last person standing. He spoke of the Catholic Church has a shift in the priesthood. The Church is replicating society when it shifts. Now the key leader - European American goes to the extreme to find balance. It’s about power and not power with but power over. Powers in Canada are still safe - white male. Dr Brown said that he lived in Maryland, U.S. with a population at the time of 150,000. He never saw the diversity there as he sees here in Toronto. For reverse to exist, the culture needs to reverse. He said that Blacks don’t stay in therapy. He suggested building a therapeutic alliances. He said that Black people are loud because they are angry - not so. He talked about Canadian politeness. He said to look at Canada as posh. Express views of some people. Some people feel need to be polite. He suggested helping the understanding of mixed race. There is a struggle with identification trying to identify to the mother and or father and identity issues all around. Dr Brown said that colour is seen. He suggested taking the time to hear the fall out. He said that in one study therapists intended to intercept female clients over men. Dr Brown spoke of a list of Cultural humility when listening: 1. Listening with empathy. 2. Stand with patients in pain - no fix. 3. Neither look up or down on them. 4. Listen to self talk (opinions, judgements) 5. Examine your fears, prejudice and unquestioned assumptions - comfort level with vulnerable and disempowered groups. Blacks may look down or away as a sign of respect. Even looking a parent in the eye is defiance. From slavery days - whipped. How they see themselves is very important. What can we do to change the system or challenge the system? I found Dr Brown’s lecture very interesting and thanked him. I have waited to write this, because his lecture led to much upset among the black people in the audience to a point where they were turning their backs to him. I don’t agree with this type of disrespect even within cultures. A guest, is a guest. You don’t have to agree with a speaker. You can question and disagree but to display such anger is inappropriate in my opinion. I had never seen this before. This was during a webinar because of the pandemic. I wondered if this was a live audience what would have happened? I don’t necessarily agree with everything I heard, however, I can take away with me. It may manifest with with anyone I encounter. We need to remember how we are reflective of everything we have been exposed to and genetics as well as the environment. I normally have an equal amount of men and women I see at one point or another. I see people from many cultures, religions etc…I have insight about cultures and religions but I need to hear it from the client’s perspective as well. That is more important. There may be more than one reason why a person will not look you in the eye. I have found that more white people than others have not looked me in they eye. What does that mean? I do think we need to be careful to generalize because there is differences within cultures and religions but also the individual. If we assume that a person will be a certain way because of culture, skin colour or religion, than we are missing the main objective - the individual. What do you think?

Happy Independence Day

I just wish to wish my American neighbours a wonderful day. Keep safe.

Brief Therapy for couples in crises cont……

Take away: 1. Clarify goals: one thing that brought to crises. 2. Re-assurance - they feel overwhelmed and need to have you know you are there to support them, by creating timely responses and consistent email, text etc…3. Timely and consistent. This is available to all Canadians but cannot be extended to the States at this time due to legality issues. Regarding children (as for others) - Where are they 0/10? What is the goal? What is the best for the three sessions? Who are the important people in your lives? Are they supportive? Brief therapy was found to be very effective with one problem. In brief work we may not complete the goal but get a step there. Have client see a new way of looking at something. Brief solution therapy is on the web site which is a good one. This concludes this aspect of the meeting which was offered by CAMFT. Have a good weekend everyone.

Canada Day - 1 Jul 21

I woke up this morning and sat out front sipping my coffee while my pets frolicked nearby. I was surprised by all the garbage bins lined up with precision along the sidewalk. I wondered if they had forgotten it was Canada Day? I pondered how I would celebrate Canada Day, on a day that everything is still fairly shut down due to Covid. Yesterday I learned that my hair stylist had retired. I cannot blame him. I was fortunate to have had him and he is like an icon who was always there. I made an appointment for next week, when I will also getting my second vaccine. I shall wait for two weeks after that for things to proceed more normal. When I am fully vaccinated, I will once again venture out into the world with cautious optimism. It has been quite a year where I lost a very close friend to Covid as well as a few out of country relatives. I have taken Covid very seriously and went entirely online for my work even though I altered my office, ridding it of any comfort to be replaced with wooden/metal chairs and the minimum of books. It now looks empty, sterile and uncomfortable but as safe as I was able to make it. However, I will still remain closed. I pondered after learning that my hairstylist retired what that would feel like. I have never been retired for more than a month. During this pandemic in my business I was very busy and have evaluated once again my associations. Before the pandemic I would enjoy taking a day off the week to enjoy the theatre and explore the sites of my city which seems to be forever changing. I miss my city. It is like being in a womb with the urgency of escaping and living life. It has been quite a year for everyone and I have been more aware than ever of my own privilege. As the heat is killing hundreds out West due to intense heat including pets, I am kept cool, though again in isolation. I have had air conditioning since I was a young person living with my parents. I don’t think we needed it then, but my mom wanted it and she got it. It used to give me a headache then but now it is no longer a luxury but a necessity. This Canada day I am missing my parents. This has much to do with the pandemic. This year has been a learning experience. I had my eyes shut for too long, again mostly because of privilege. I have had the freedom to always choose whether it was my school, profession, education and/or life style. I learned the value of work from my father. He was dedicated though he always made family a priority. To this day I am always early and prepared. I don’t know what it would feel like not to work because I have been doing it since I was thirteen years old (part time of course at that age). I had my own bank account at that age and would shop for my own clothes and entertainment. I learned to be independent but also learned about having fun at every opportunity including work. This is all because of family learned values and also the opportunity that Canada has given me. I don’t know who I would be if I had not been raised here. That is what I can celebrate today. However, today as I have been watching the news, we also have shame in how we have treated our Indigenous people. The Aboriginal bodies found buried in unmarked graves at Residential Schools sites is a dark scar on our history. Children should never be taken away by force from their families for no reason other than thinking one race is better than another. It broke my heart as I heard an Aboriginal woman talk on the news that she used to use bleach to try to wash away the darkness of her skin. She said that Natives were not believed to have a soul. I knew that slaves leaving for Canada for freedom was restricted to them as Canadian Slaves remained so as to not upset the elite. We have our sins. The residential schools have not been closed all that long. I believe it was in the seventies. I believe a criminal investigation has to be conducted and criminal charges laid. Ignorance is no excuse under the law. It is ironic that just about a week before this scandal was brought to light, I watched a movie based on a true story about an American woman who returned to Ireland to find out what happened to the son she gave birth to and who was taken away from her as a toddler, at a home for girls also taken care of by nuns. She had the help of a reporter who helped expose how children were given away to rich clients. The nun responsible for this was still there and very uncooperative. She still believed that she was right and had no empathy. This woman’s son had been adopted by an American family and he too returned to Ireland at that same place to find his mother. Both were deprived even years later of being united. This involved more than one old woman. As a Roman Catholic this is all very disturbing because all of this is so much against the concept of Catholicism. I have had the honour of knowing so many wonderful priests and nuns. However, like in any institution or corporation or country there are people who are a reflection of their own biases, cruelty, kindness etc……The residential school was a systemic notion that the white man knew better. This wasn’t only a problem with the Church, but also the government and the education system. How does one think that it is ok for a child not to be able to speak her own language, to be taken from her parents and to be forced into another religion concept which is so far removed from what Catholicism is. As Canadians we have a lot of work to do and it should begin by taking responsibility for our wrong doing and to do some serious work in stopping an arising bigotry like I have never seen before. There is too much hatred spreading like weeds. There is a notion of freedom being an expression of hatred in harming others. That is not freedom. Freedom is for everyone who walks in our country to be able to feel safe and have the opportunities that are for everyone equally. We need to educate more because something is obviously lacking. We need to rethink how we are dealing with those who harm others. We need to protect our children so they can grow and prosper. It is time to take a good look in the mirror and decide what kind of person we each want to be. It should begin in school to learn to be mindful and respectful and to begin the dialogue of the similarities we all have as individuals as well as our differences. We need to understand and learn world religions, cultures and politics. We need to stomp out all this negativity and imposition on the rights of all of us by not only education but justice. There has to be accountability. So this Canada Day, I shall enjoy the day and do no work. I shall play as I look into the future for change and growth. Happy Canada everyone. My thoughts are still in Miami as well hoping for a rescue. Thoughts and prayers this day for all who are suffering.