Promoting Compassionate Psychosocial Spiritual Care and Counselling During COVID 19 Crises Demands - Challenges - Responses (Continues) notes 3

Eugene recommended Dr Wolfalt’s book The Rites of the grieving person . Eugene contemplates who really had an affect on him. He goes near water - recommends taking 1/2 a day off during the week, a month he will go away for a day; a year he goes away for a week. How does this pertain to myself? Well since I have been told I am lucky because I work for myself. There is a lot of truth in that. I need to be the best I can be for myself in my care of others. I normally take time for myself each day. I am acutely aware on what really affects me. I feel I have been trained to monitor the different emotions I may go through during a day and at times suggest that clients become aware of the emotions they feel when either speaking to a person or experiencing any kind of event. Try it. You may be surprised how often you will be experiencing different emotions. It will also provide you with an understanding of yourself. What upsets you, challenges you, excites you etc…. Taking a day off a week is the minimum for myself. I normally take off a lot more. Ideally I would like to take a week off a month, but I have found that is not possible, so when this pandemic is over, I will be looking forward to visiting a place of interest in my beautiful city as if I am discovering it for the first time. After more than a year hiatus, that will be quite exciting. I still cannot leave Toronto for more than a few days because of commitments. However I have quite a few trips to look forward to. There are many people out there who work at jobs they detest because they have to put food on the table and I understand that. However, I would recommend wondering what it is you would like to do and train for that somehow. If you have a dream, explore it. Do you work to live or do you live to work? How can you get to where you would like to be? What support networks do you have? What do you think. Next week as we continue this topic we will talk about children again.

The Internet Murders - continues https://www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Tomasso’s roots were from southern Italy, and his sense of humour was always getting him into trouble, especially since he had no sensor to turn it off. Philip looked over at him. “Very funny, Romeo. Why don’t you take yours off and see if that makes a difference for her? On the other hand, maybe the sight of you will just finish her off.” Philip was much taller than Tomasso, who was short for an officer, but these days what did that matter, joked Tomasso. Equality for all, tall or short, fat or skinny, smart or stupid, the force opened up their arms to all. Good old-fashioned police work went to Public Relations, Tomasso liked to say, when it suited him. Philip smiled at Tomasso, who kept him entertained at the worst of times. He was a good partner. He knew that he would do anything for Tomasso and vice versa, though it took a while to get there. Tomasso’s demeanour usually made people take him for a fool. That worked to his advantage, because Tomasso was actually one of the smartest cops he had ever known, with a heart just as big. ” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.”

Thinking about podcast. Is this of interest to you?

Well tonight I shall be joining the Sisters of Crime where four hosts of popular podcasts "share their secrets for creating compelling content, building an audience and maintaining momentum when developing a successful podcasts." I love writing stories but my primary work as a therapist curtails that more than ever during this pandemic. I'll attend this event tonight to decide if I should add this to my social media for my books and perhaps my practice. Right now, I would prefer not to have extra clients unless it is an emergency. The pandemic has increased the amount of work in this arena. I have also had a small emergency of washing machine failure which of course requires immediate attention. That will shortly be taken care of as well. Next week I should have more time for blogs. I will also be attending another lecture of "Cancer during the pandemic." Of course there should be something to share from that as well. I will eventually go through everything and thank you for your patience and attention. I will like to upload some more of the Internet Murders for you to read as well. I shall try to get that done tomorrow. If you buy a book from me, I shall send you an autographed copy. I have completed writing about half of my next book. It is scary, me thinks, since it scares me too. Imagine that. https://silvaredigonda.ca

Response to Understanding a Soul Care question

Silva Redigonda Question: Highlight one or two things that you found to be significant in the handout or chapter and what did you find puzzling (one or two things). What I found significant in the handout (Understanding Soul Care) is pg 101 which indicates that Western psychology of the self has been greatly influenced by Descartes's "I think, therefore I am, contrary to "I am because we are; we are because I am." The latter being African spiritual philosophy has been identified as being closer to the Christian understanding of self. I have observed that in our society, we have a focus of ourselves which is very much a me world. We tend to lose meaning in basic humanity. I found it puzzling that we should not give to the poor because they are less fortunate but because God is somehow present in those who suffer(106). I find this notion that doing so is condescension or pity, misguided. I think that everyone, Christian or not, whether they see God in another or not, should contribute something of themselves to others because they are indeed less fortunate. If we are more united in compassion regardless of religion (if any), beliefs and culture than we may just be able to survive this world. I am also puzzled that, "Christian spirituality is also manifest in care of God's creation" (106) as a response to global crises. I think that taking care of this planet is basic biological survival mode at this point. Of course I may be wrong, but I found myself stirred by these statements. I found the chapter from our text very significant regarding Ignatian spiritual direction and how the author combined spirituality with psychotherapy. I think that the year waiting period is rather long, though I understand it may be necessary for the process of the intense knowledge about the person. I am puzzled that we don't have therapists trained by our own church combined with spirituality as a separate degree program. Maybe you can start one at this school? It's being a crazy week so to offer you something I have returned to responses I have saved. This I shall delete from my files. I hope you are well.

Promoting Compassionate Psychosocial Spiritual Care and Counselling During COVID 19 Crises Demands - Challenges - Responses (Continues) notes 2

Eugene Dufour spoke of his work, training emergency response persons to learn how to tell devastating news to families. Many attend sessions during their free time. Last year 28 responders died by suicide. Eugene spoke of one patient being from a war torn country. To protect her sisters from being raped by soldiers, she placed manure on her sister’s faces. When asked if she did the same for herself, she said no. She wanted to be the target, to protect her sisters. When I contemplate the stories of my own clients who faced horrors before coming to Canada, I am struck with awe at how some just for love of Jesus and refusing to convert are raped, imprisoned or killed. It reminds me of a recent movie I watched about how a farmer in Vienna refused to fight for the nazi’s and was beheaded as a result. His faith in his religion was profound. Eugene spoke of a patient who would constantly scream. When he went to see her, he noticed a tear and with a tissue, he wiped away her tear. When he did this, she stopped screaming. He had touched her cheek. He found volunteers who would be able to do this every 20 minutes. She stopped screaming. The human touch is so powerful, is it not? Someone caring for you is powerful. Eugene recommended a book, The five invitations, by Frank Ostaseski about discovery of what death can teach us about living fully. Eugene spoke about how medical staff during the first wave of this pandemic were devastated as bodies were placed in bags and moved to a parking lot. He spoke about having to pull back from watching the news and getting the information from work. I personally practise balance at all times, especially because I am in private practice. I do watch the news but get most of my information from seminars and conferences etc….I try to eliminate the noise to get to the facts. However, there are those that the news is their work and balance is even more important for them. How can their employers help them to keep healthy? Eugene talked about our own rituals. What Eugene does for self care is give his maple tree a wack. He has a timer, gets up and wacks his trees at five. Of course his neighbour was concerned and then he explained it to him. I knew a social worker who sat out in his car when he arrived from work and to make that transition, he would tap his face, calm down and enter his home. Again a neighbour was concerned and he explained what he was doing. What I noticed I was doing after each client, was leave my office and go wash my hands, then I was good for the next one. Also, one of my pets notices if I have a long day of being exposed to sadness. He sits up against me and licks me. I also like to dance and would love to do it outside, but I don’t want my neighbours coming around and being concerned. Maybe I should move to the country and dance away. Eugene told us that we can expect another 18 months at home because of the pandemic. Country is starting to look pretty good. Eugene told us of a little boy whose dream was to meet Hulk Hogan. He got his dream and died eight days later after meeting him. His little sister later got into a fight at school. When he talked to this gentle soul, she had a fight because the other student had been making derogatory comments about Hulk Hogan. Eugene does a lot of work with veterans. He spoke about the attitude of not letting anything bother you, such as the sick….the attitude of sucking it up. Long term care was already suffering being short staffed. They lost 30% more during the pandemic. He spoke about secondary trauma - “their story is what I carry home.” Vicarious trauma - compassion fatigue “mentoring” - someone focusing on our well being. The Compassion Fatigue rate. Four patients died in the first week. Nurses got close to them. He talked about one opening the window after a patient died and letting the breath out, setting the patient who died free, acknowledging what was given and what was gained. Eugene went to 9/11. He was asked to provide a de-brief. They had dogs and handlers searching for cadavers. How do you cope? To be continued……..

WARNING: SCAM, SCAM, SCAM..... Posting this to alert you.

Hi, I found this in my junk mail. I am posting it because Canadians lose a lot of money. Please be careful not to fall into these traps. Unfortunately this is big business but the pain they cause is great, sometimes leading to suicide. Don't give these people money. "Greetings! I have to share bad news with you. Approximately few months ago I have gained access to your devices, which you use for internet browsing. After that, I have started tracking your internet activities. Here is the sequence of events: Some time ago I have purchased access to email accounts from hackers (nowadays, it is quite simple to purchase such thing online). Obviously, I have easily managed to log in to your email account (silva.redigonda@utoronto.ca). One week later, I have already installed Trojan virus to Operating Systems of all the devices that you use to access your email. In fact, it was not really hard at all (since you were following the links from your inbox emails). All ingenious is simple. =) This software provides me with access to all the controllers of your devices (e.g., your microphone, video camera and keyboard). I have downloaded all your information, data, photos, web browsing history to my servers. I have access to all your messengers, social networks, emails, chat history and contacts list. My virus continuously refreshes the signatures (it is driver-based), and hence remains invisible for antivirus software. Likewise, I guess by now you understand why I have stayed undetected until this letter... While gathering information about you, I have discovered that you are a big fan of adult websites. You really love visiting porn websites and watching exciting videos, while enduring an enormous amount of pleasure. Well, I have managed to record a number of your dirty scenes and montaged a few videos, which show the way you masturbate and reach orgasms. If you have doubts, I can make a few clicks of my mouse and all your videos will be shared to your friends, colleagues and relatives. I have also no issue at all to make them available for public access. I guess, you really don't want that to happen, considering the specificity of the videos you like to watch, (you perfectly know what I mean) it will cause a true catastrophe for you. Let's settle it this way: You transfer $1650 USD to me (in bitcoin equivalent according to the exchange rate at the moment of funds transfer), and once the transfer is received, I will delete all this dirty stuff right away. After that we will forget about each other. I also promise to deactivate and delete all the harmful software from your devices. Trust me, I keep my word. This is a fair deal and the price is quite low, considering that I have been checking out your profile and traffic for some time by now. In case, if you don't know how to purchase and transfer the bitcoins - you can use any modern search engine. Here is my bitcoin wallet: 14AhgtTrXKHGcUsWJRsshN3HPu64rLdxB6 You have less than 48 hours from the moment you opened this email (precisely 2 days). Things you need to avoid from doing: *Do not reply me (I have created this email inside your inbox and generated the return address). *Do not try to contact police and other security services. In addition, forget about telling this to you friends. If I discover that (as you can see, it is really not so hard, considering that I control all your systems) - your video will be shared to public right away. *Don't try to find me - it is absolutely pointless. All the cryptocurrency transactions are anonymous. *Don't try to reinstall the OS on your devices or throw them away. It is pointless as well, since all the videos have already been saved at remote servers. Things you don't need to worry about: *That I won't be able to receive your funds transfer. - Don't worry, I will see it right away, once you complete the transfer, since I continuously track all your activities (my trojan virus has got a remote-control feature, something like TeamViewer). *That I will share your videos anyway after you complete the funds transfer. - Trust me, I have no point to continue creating troubles in your life. If I really wanted that, I would do it long time ago! Everything will be done in a fair manner! One more thing... Don't get caught in similar kind of situations anymore in future! My advice - keep changing all your passwords on a frequent basis"

Promoting Compassionate Psychosocial Spiritual Care and Counselling During COVID 19 Crises Demands - Challenges - Responses

Monday I attended a full day workshop with TCPCE (Toronto Centre for Psychotherapy and Counselling Education) held by Eugene Dufour. He is with Huron Perth Palliative Care Outreach Team, Palliative Care, Bereavement - Trauma Specialist and Death Notification Trainer. It was a long day, an emotional day and a very productive day. I was quite impressed with the speaker and believe I talked to him at a Conference a few years back where again he impressed me. He said he will be sending us all the slides and that we can remove his name, put ours on because what is important is that the message gets out. I would never do that but after being to so many seminars, conferences etc….I am at times disappointed at how rigid some are about slides. I agree that it is important to educate and let the public know, however, I also believe it is unethical to take someone else’s work and claim it as my own. So, here goes, from my notes because I don’t have yet have the slides. Once I receive them, I will definitely share. Eugene is a Psycho Spiritual Care Specialist and I shall refer to him as Eugene. Much of what he talked about resonated with me and thus that stirred up much of our shared experiences. He spoke of one person who had come home to die and when the parents were called they said that they did not have a son. I have found this happening as well, when children do not turn out the way their parents would like them to be. I see adults struggle and conform to what their families want at their own sacrifices. I see this not only in dealing with grief but also family systems. I worked as an intern with HIV patients, cancer and palliative care. I have to commend people who work for years seeing so many suffer. In my own practice I have the luxury of selecting my own hours, my own EAP’s etc…..I can manage self care to be the best I can for my clients. For others working in retirement homes or hospitals cannot afford this luxury. I have closed down my office during the second wave and went totally on line or telephone. But there are those who physically stay with patients as they die and be there with them so they do not have to die alone. Working with HIV patients was not my plan. However, no one wanted to work with HIV on my team and when the Head nurse said we were needed, I knew that if I didn’t volunteer, no intern would be available. That time in the hospital I witnessed so much pain and suffering that I would come home and just stare at my garden engulfing myself with nature. However, now, years later, I know I made a difference in many lives. For two months I was also working daily. I would never recommend that. It takes a toll on people. I knew it was for only two months and that made it workable. Again, I was in multiple programs. I saw families completely disowning children because they were gay. I have spoken about one, whose family was only concerned if they would get any money from him. Imagine a mother refusing to see or care about her dying son simply because he is gay but ask if there will be any inheritance for her. There are incidents of course that I can never share, but that is one of the reasons why I recoil when I hear about how wonderful mothers are as their children suffer. Of course this is not all mothers and perhaps only a small percentage. I don’t have the stats but that is something Clergy should be mindful as they tell children to obey, especially when they are being abused. This does not only involve mothers. This involves all facets of society. A niece may tell her uncle that if the uncle marries in his late age, he will be disowned by the family. Unfortunately this type of bullying often works and the uncle is left behind mourning a life without his love that could have happened. It is so interesting for me to work with families. I see the dynamics of how one who seems emotionally balanced can become a shadow of themselves when surrounded by family. I can see a seemingly mild person become the dominant aggressive person in the room with family who are completely controlled by the person regardless of their education or career. The take away today is to think of your own family and your position in it. Are you living the life you want to live? Are you an adult and feel controlled? Are you a teen being abused? Are you surrounded by so many people who think that they know what is best for you, regardless of your own feelings? Perhaps it is time to examine your life and what it is you really want? Perhaps if you are a parent with grown children, you should ask yourself, why you feel you can control them? Are you abandoning your child right now because they think differently than you or act differently than you would like? Perhaps it is time for you to reflect why this has dominated your life to the point that it effects the love of someone in your family? That is all for now. Work is calling. To be continued…..