BYOB: Bake your own bagels

Adjusting to COVID 19 in my private practice and tid bits about my opinions

COVID 19 has kept me busy. First I have to keep up with the latest and then I had to decide how to open face to face once again. When the government opened to stage two, then the pressure to open started, not by the college but by the people. As you know I started an on line practice with the best I could find which costs me more than I need to pay if I chose another. But nothing electronic is ever guaranteed to ensure privacy. Neither is the telephone or cell. There are so many hackers out there. The only way to ensure privacy is face to face with my double brick office and windows closed. So, when I began to receive calls for face to face again, I continued to educate myself from reliable resources. I did not know that the virus could live on my fibre sofa for two weeks unless I used a foam soap to clean it. I do. However, it is not practical in between clients. It takes time to dry. So then it was recommended that I use wood, by Public Health and use cushions I can wash. How many cushions would I need? I do have one chair made of wood. Lysol 99.9% was recommended. I got one spray bottle, one arsenal bottle I already had for the air. Now it can linger in the air shortly it appears. I also had many wipes. So, I moved the sofa for my own personal use and left my favourite worn out chair on the sidewalk where a boy decided he liked it and dragged it down the street. I never would see my favourite chair again. Next I moved all fabric chairs into different rooms for personal use. Again I placed an antique chair outside with a broken arm that sits neglected waiting for the right garbage day. Antiques are no longer appreciated it seems. Then I called Lysol because I was trying to decide on a leather sofa or synthetic one. I had been advised by Lyons not to spray Lysol directly to the sofa and I wondered if it would lose its effectiveness. The Lysol man had a distinct American accent and he was wonderful. If I used Lysol on leather or synthetic it would damage and begin peeling off and once it did, there would be no protection from the virus. He told me about his dentist replacing everything with metal seating. So, I thanked him and ordered chrome chairs with wooden seats. In the meantime I am using a synthetic chair and my wooden chair and if there is a couple, I can drag out another synthetic. I taped off the chair six feet from where I sit. Family Therapy at this time can only be done on my computer. I can have more than enough spaces where we can all see each other from anywhere. I am waiting for my chairs from Costco and then I shall return the synthetic chairs for private use. It was a great sale and budget friendly at the time. I removed an enormous amount of books and kept one book case on my side of the office. I placed books I have still to read in my “books” office. I will be donating all my books to a professor of mine who is now in a retirement home and who has already asked me to order one book for him. Once, I am able to see him, I have bags of books for him to keep busy. The books are scholastic and I suggested he place what he thinks is suitable in their library once he his finished reading them. I made sure the books he has written is not in the batch. When my office looked empty I returned a few things I like. My objective is to have myself and my clients safe. I am not opening up to everyone. I consider each case individually. So, now I utilize three systems for clients. I space clients apart even more than before and I disinfect all spaces right after the client leaves. So, it has been busy and I am behind in my paperwork once again. However, I am all set in my practice. I do prefer seeing people on line during the pandemic. Please be careful out there. This pandemic is killing people of all ages. I see that people are still not social distancing as much as they can. Though patios are now open, I did stop once at Harvey’s and noticed that they did not clean the tables or chairs while I was eating outside. When I asked about taking the tray out and how it worked, I was told there was take out only. I suppose they were advised that if they say it is take out, than they are not further responsible. I beg to differ. At no time was I cautioned about their tables and chairs outside not being cleaned. A man also walked near me while I was eating. There were no rails to separate. I understand that all businesses have suffered but there has to be a responsibility to do your outmost to keep people safe. If you do not want to clean the tables and chairs, keep them in. I don’t think it is enough to say “take out.” If a lawyer advised them of that, perhaps a second opinion is warranted. Hang in there. The world is trying to find a vaccine for this pandemic. I also think it would be nice for communist countries to join us rather than try to steal from us. This is not the time. We need to seriously take the time to keep each other safe. Have faith. Next week it is back to theology notes.

Trend of Male Violence- Video “Rapist, Can they be Stopped?” Social Science - Man and Masculinity

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY BE DIFFICULT TO READ, please skip if you find you are sensitive to violence. The cases described is not suitable for youths. Therefore, I will not be posting it elsewhere as I usually do. Just because someone doesn’t act out doesn’t mean that the person has morality. Surplus aggression is surplus aggression. Guilt is a revolving door. Book - Care of the Souls (I haven’t read it yet and now that I see it in my notes, I have recorded the name to find it). Eliminate violence by violence. One person - rather than deal with negative in ourselves, direct it to the other. The other is generally inferior. Eg. female in male discontent for feminine qualities and sees that in female or gay male. Instead of dealing with the inner, he attacks the other. No one wins. Be comfortable with our fears. Choose romantically. One of five will be sexually assaulted. On this course it was also stated that there 99% success rate of rapists in that particular study of treatment. - regain power/eroticizes/anger - explosive assault. Two out three rapes are directed at girlfriends or wives. In one case study: one former army ranger married with one child was angry- wanted high excitement - in army. He does not know where anger started. He was poor in a close knit family. He reinforced macho. Made it to Corporal and then was demoted to Private so he quit. He grew excited thinking about rape when he followed a woman driving a van. He stopped her and cut her shirt in two or three places to let her know he was in business. His therapy (at that time) was when he gets excited an electrical charge was sent to his private part (trying to be sensitive to who is reading this) - aversion therapy. After one year he was no longer excited. Justifies to himself that the woman will get over it. Another case, one killed his mother. His IQ- genius, in his teens he did poorly in school. He was in full rebellion against his dominating Army Colonel, step father. His mother was submissive. His first rape was at 16 years of age. Self disgust event to hospital. He attempted to rape his mother and killed her. He felt his mother had encouraged his child abuse by not interfering. He was still excited after his aversion therapy until it was interjected with therapy. The therapist does not trust him. Over 60% of men at this centre were sexually abused as children. Within 6 months to four years these men will be back in the community and that is the only reason why the therapist works with them. Next case: The only son of an accountant, this person was loved by his mother and sisters. When he developed acne he felt ugly. He felt like a freak. He started by becoming a peeping tom, looking at bodies and that escalated after watching a woman for three weeks. He attacked her in her home. He felt a sense of power. He hit her with a club and dragged her to the bedroom. She pleaded that she had just had a baby and couldn’t have sex. The subject compared himself to how a leopard feels at night, “I have to do this”, as he raped the woman he had killed. He did not feel bad. He was 17 years of age. The social worker was 27 years old at the time. The subject had fantasies of rape, torture….etc. He continued…..He married and had fantasies of rape which continued until he raped his child step daughter. The therapist feels he will do it again. Arousal - women no longer excites him, young girls do. Advise to women from a Rapist: Keep defensive perimeter around yourself. Be aware of your outside. Don’t leave windows open. He killed a woman who left her window open before going to sleep. He cries when he watches the mother of the raped dead child. Talks about her. Another case study: Ex Cop - dutiful son - grew up on a ranch- Protection of women - Military Policeman. Father died and he was angry at the world. “I needed someone. Someone had to be responsible for my father. He raped and sodomized a girl (and more which I won’t state). He was given 15 1/2 years but served 2 1/2 years. He feels it was temporary insanity. He remarries, has financial problems and began fantasizing of rape. He finds and handcuffs a woman to the steering wheel of her car, and got rid of the dog. He raped and sodomized the woman. He informed her of his full name. After again serving 1 1/2 years he went to the clinic. He is self-centred and does not feel anything for his victims. Another case study: When 13 years of age, he tried to rape a six year old. As the son of a respected business man, it was dismissed as adolescent. Later, he raped a girl while on a date. She was a virgin. He went to college and joined the army where he continued to rape and none of the women reported it. He went from bad to worse, turned to victims easier to control - even a seven year old blind girl. She reported it to her mother. The therapist reports they feel powerful being in control. Power rapists don’t kill victims and don’t understand the pain induced to victims. 1/20 in six years re-committed rape. This is the end of my first notebook. I have my notebook 3 & 4, which I shall continue to provide for you. Notebook two may pop up, or I may have given it away. As you know I am typing all my notes and then cut and paste them for you here. Remember that when I wrote these notes, I was in my undergrad years. In our first year we were required to take one social science, one natural science, one writing with reason and one in thinking with reason or words to that effect. This is my social science Man and Masculinity. I enjoyed this course. I will not be proofreading these notes so I hope it has made sense. I have also tried to be as sensitive as possible without being graphic. There are many women and men who do not report being sexually assaulted. Many if not all blame themselves and feel shame. The shame and blame is not on the survivors. The shame and blames lays entirely on the one’s who commit these acts. Some feel abandoned by God. We all have free choice. If you have read anything that has triggered something here, please get some help. I have decided to continue to record my theology notes here and continue with my undergrad notes. I have neglected my books and so will add that to the agenda every third week. I will talk about my writing seminars, books I am working on and my three books I have self published which you can buy at www.silvaredigonda.com Please take care of yourselves. Social distance and wear your mask if you need to. This covid 19 has taken a toll on the entire world. Please listen to the disease medical experts. Politicians are not physicians. Thankfully, Canada has proven it can work with each other as we should be, during this trying time. They are listening. Tomorrow, we in Toronto must wear a mask in all public places. Though I have difficulty with this, I understand that it is required. Not all take this seriously enough and therefore spread it without them even knowing it. Unfortunately, some are leaders of countries which are responsible for more deaths than necessary. Hopefully, they will be voted out where there is a democracy. Take care; keep safe. What do you think?

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 40th Anniversary

The Exodus - Theology notes

Exodus 1 Deliverance from Egypt - continuity from Genises. Joseph ending up in Egypt and inviting family. Boch of Genises ends with them in Egypt and it is not the promised land. We have Exodus to Wilderness to Entrance. From Sinai to the Promised land. Slavery in Egypt (does not take peace in a vacuum). It’s not simply to be free from slavery. Free in order to enter the promised land. Crossing the Red Sea (it is God who delivered them by stopping of the water and here it is God >call. The weight is on promise and gift and then surprising - arch beginning. Abraham - must die and for promise to be effected, must be handed over to son. Abraham challenged to give up son. With Sinai covenant in reverse, God calling son out of Egypt. It is God who delivers. Then from slavery “with mighty hand.” It is God who brought us out- this is the gift.(It was Israelites who left but they say it was God who brought them out. What is the Sinai Covenant? God is promises. “I will be your God and you my people”, but emphasis of the covenant is that men will commit themselves (gift and task is foundational to Israels’ faith). There is something very foundational about it. These paradigms - just like the three promises to Abraham respond to the desires we have and this desire to be liberated from slavery. Always from overview to general text. It is important to know the stories - three texts enclosed by test (past) to surrender oneself to future and reversal of this in the Sinai Covenants. Why do we have a formal engagement of God where each person is expected to be from God, not simply free of slavery. The motive is coming to the land. The engagement of each person in the covenant. The Exodus is narrated in the Credes as the paradigm of salvation. See David Daube, The Exodus Pattern in the Bible (Londro:Gaber +Faber 63). To exit and to leave is the simplest pattern, leave from oppressor and enter land of milk and honey (most general view of Exodus to leave slavery and to Exodus, also to have an intermediate stage. Bring out of slavery - Egypt stands for that. To bring to wilderness - parallel where does Abraham have experience - in the desert. Our faith is born in the desert. It does not stay there but it is something in the formation of faith. What is a concentric structure? You begin a story the way you end it (bringing you back to same theme). They thought a structure so they remembered seeing and hearing oppression. Repeating to intensify - to hold together what is being said. Luke 24 : 13-35, they left Jerusalem and they go to Jerusalem - beginning to end. Ask yourself what is in the middle? The middle is often intense, sometimes the extremities. When we notice there is repetition, it allows to see what is emphasized and what is different. It is harder to see difference than what is similar. Job - seven sons and three daughters. Job is not offering the sacrifice. In the beginning he offered, the end he pays not for his family but for his enemies. God brought them out from Egypt. God accompanied them in the desert and brought them into the promised land. Where as the Sinai Covenant is not a liberating what God has done. We commit ourselves a reference to the wilderness. Where did the Sinai Covenant take place? It was in the wilderness (gift and task), God’s deliverance to them. It is the liturgy reflecting the Sinai Covenant. To bring out of > lead through wilderness> to posses the land. Red Sea - two walls. Arch of the covenant into the water and can walk in dry land. Out of Egypt - ritual blood on altar and in all the people. Sinai Covenant is always going to emphasize commitment. Theology portion is To be continued with Intent of God………….

Why Are Some People Attracted to Serial Killers? | Detective's Den | Oxygen

Why Are Some People Attracted to Serial Killers? | Detective's Den | Oxygen