Take some time off stress

It is difficult getting ready for Christmas.  There is lots of shopping that not everyone can afford.  There is the stress of seeing people, you may not want to see but feel obligated to; there is that feeling of chaos of trying to do everything and not having enough time to do it.  It could be a time of loneliness and sadness.  Be kind to yourself.  Slow down.  Try to make peace with your self.  What does Christmas mean to you?  The origin of Christmas is very humble.  What can you do to make Christmas special and calming this year?  What do you normally do at Christmas?  Why not take some time to reflect and slow down.  What can you do different this year if you are not happy with how you feel right now.  Have a peaceful Christmas.

adult develpment - notes from psychology

According to Sigmund Freud, development was confined to the first 14 years of life progressing through the psycho sexual stages of personality transformation.  The child was father to the man.  Whatever happened during the five stages of psycho sexual development set the stages for later development.   Erickson, a psycho analyst, saw development having its own special challenges beyond the adolescent years.  He postulated a total of eight stages.  Freud's theory emphasised the biological drives of libido and aggression as forces driving development.  Erickson shifted attention from biology to the role of early caretakers.  He called his theory a psychosocial theory.  Freud did not discover the unconscious, philosophers did that.   He tried to make psychoanalysis a science but it is also an art.    There are subjective components.  Freud was a neurologist. 
    C.G.S  Hall in the 19th and early 20th centuries although mainly interested in child and adolescent psychology did devote his remaining years to the study of adulthood.  Like Freud, he believed that biology was the determining force in development.  He conceptualised development as proceeding through stages that represented condensed phases of humankind's overall  evolutionary descent.  At each stage there were qualities remnant of our ancestrial past and each individual recapitulated  in his own development.  These earlier specie qualities became known as the Principal of Recapitulation.  As one goes through the stages, we move from selfishness to co-operative.  Each individual has a blue print that exhibits characteristics that demonstrates our ancestorial traits.

To be continued:

What is your hope? Hope ............

What is Hope?                      By:   Silva Redigonda

     My hope is to someday live in a glass house by the waterfront with a dog at my side as I walk along the beach.   Is that hope or a dream?  Is dream and hope synonymous?  Is hope for all?

     Skinner[i] conducted animal experiments and discovered that when one can no longer control one’s environment, one gives up trying.  A dog that suffers electrical shocks and resigns himself to acknowledge he will suffer pain no matter what he does extends to other forms of torture that kills the human soul.  Can one understand hope by understanding what it is not?  Hope is a perception of what can be.  I think that there is a possibility of world peace.  Do I really?  Actually I do not.  Therefore,   I have no hope for world peace because I believe that it is impossible.  Yet, I believe that something must still be done to decrease the probabilities of war.  Is that hope?   Is hope being a realist?  Is hope being a survivor?  Hope can be simple or complex.  Hope is what it means to the person who has or does not have hope.  I hope that the flowers I place at the front yard bring joy to others as they walk by and appreciate nature.  I hope, because I love to stop and appreciate the lawns of others which are aesthetically pleasing.  I am hoping that someone appreciates what I have to offer my community.  I am hoping that someone stops and smells the roses (what a cliché!).  Am I superficial?  Perhaps I am to some and not to others.  For someone who has no food, she may hope for food, if there is the remote possibility of getting food.  If someone has no hope for food it may be because he is dying, isolated and alone with no possibility of enough food to eat.  What is hope?  It is so much to so many different people depending on their own stories of their own lives.  Has life been kind? Has life crippled?  Has life taken away souls and hope is only a senseless word?  I have hope.  I dream of my glass house by the water, walking along the beach with my dog at my side as I ponder the universe because I have hope – of endless possibilities.         

What is your hope?  How can you get there?  What do you think?

---

[i] Gleitman Henry, Basic Psychology. Pg 93. New York:  Norton & Company, Third edition, 1983.

Make time for a neighbour today!

       Why not say hello or visit someone in your neighbourhood today?  Why not check on an elderly soul today?  Why not just be nice to someone today?

Where do you go at Christmas?

Christmas conjures joy, pain, excitement and struggle.  Where will you celebrate the holidays?  Do you celebrate?  Is your world so hectic, that there is no celebration?  Just another day, you say?  If it is just another day for you, that is ok.  But it may not be.  It may be associated with the baggage of our upbringing.  It may be our present conditions.  We may be bullied at school.  We may feel that we are having Christmas imposed upon us?  We may be so unhappy that Christmas appears unbearable.  What can you do?  At times one can be so immersed in what is bothering them, that they do not even realise the effects it is having on their body, their relations with others and the sadness, irritations ect...that my be overpowering.  Some time one needs a little bit of help to be able to step back and examine what is going on with them.  So often people are criticised, bullied, assaulted through no fault of their own.  They are usually blamed for the assaults as if they merit them.  This is not so.  If you are being bullied, demeaned, suffering mental or physical abuse, please don't ever think you deserve it.  You don't.  Why don't you take a few minutes to write down things that you like about yourself.  What would you write if you were looking for a job.  What good things have some people told you about yourself.  Do you believe them?  Why not?  Sometimes one can be so consumed about the bad things that happen, that the good things can no longer seem possible.  You cannot change other people when they don't live up to your expectations, but you can make the changes yourself.  If you are in an abusive relationship and you cannot leave right now, prepare an emergency escape plan (I will talk more about that after Christmas).  If you are unhappy with your family and change seems impossible, consider your options.  If you feel bad about yourself, ask yourself why.  A psychology professor once said that we are never the same.  We are always changing.  From one minute to the next something happens in that moment that changes us.  In that moment we may learn something new, we may experience something bad, we may meet a new person, we may see something different.  Ultimately we grow, change and are a product of everything that has happened to us.  Why not ponder today?  Who are you?  Who would you like to be?  How do you get there?  Why are you not there?  Is it possible to go there?  Why not?  What changes can you make that are good for you?  Are you happy with your friends, families, living situation?  Why not?  What changes can you make?  What is restricting you?  This Christmas where will you be?  Where do you want to be?  Why are you not going there?  While you explore this, feel what is going on inside you.  Pay attention to what your body is telling you.  Do you feel like crying?  Is there a sense of doom?  Did you notice something new?  Explore your emotions.
What do you think?

Exam time - tip

I am so glad that I do not have to write exams anymore.  At least for the time being.  My undergrad  exams were mostly multiple choice.  It was for that reason and stats that most students left psychology.  At least that was my observation.  I am sure they have the stats, which may contradict my experience.

I however loved psychology and still do.  During exams, every once in awhile, a student would break down from the stress and begin to cry or get extremely aggitated, to a point where he or she could no longer write the exam.  The rest of us would be cautious of this, but would continue with our exam because we were timed.  We normally had two hours and it was not unusual to have a hundred questions or more.  We knew exactly how many questions we had and the amount of time we had to answer the question.  I would have my watch on my desk to keep me aware of the time.  I would have at least two pencils or more HB, to fill in the appropriate box.   There was no time for thinking.  You either knew the answer or you did not.  There would always be two that were so much alike that you sometimes had to skip and return to it if you had time.  After the exam, we would gather outside and ask fellow students about individual questions, to determine if we got it.  After our final exam there were always a few of us who went to celebrate on campus or off and at times our TA or prof would join us.  Those were the days.

     Grad school was mostly papers.  In my final year I was spitting out papers because I knew I had to finish, if I wanted to make money.  My resource supply was running low.  

     Now back to psychology tests.  Our professors would always tell us that if you could not answer the question, to move ahead to the next one and not waste time.  Our professors would also give us the statistics, that students who change their first answer to another find that their first answer was correct and the change was wrong.  This was not a given, but it did happen.  That proved correct for me a few times.  I went into the exam knowing my material, inside out, anticipating the tricky questions.  I also learned from my studies that an optimal level of stress is required and that factors such as a headache or feeling sick could effect our performance.
      I would study for about an hour and take a ten minute break (my breaks stretched out more than that at times).

     So good luck with your exams.  Remember that some stress is good for you when you write your exam.  Can your recollect some of your horrors?

Christmas and Lonliness

Christmas can be difficult for those who find themselves alone, abused, unwanted and uncared for.  There are lights everywhere, music and an aura of happiness and anticipation.  That is on the surface.  Underneath the surface, there are people who do not know where their next meal will be coming from, there are neglected elderly, and children who should be permitted to enjoy their childhood.  The list can seem endless.  If you are reading this and can afford it, please do something nice with whatever you can afford.  Some people are very wealthy and give out tokens.   It is nice to donate to institutions, but please feed the people as well.
      If you are one suffering, reach out to someone.   Try to be strong enough to say enough to abuse.  Report it.  Get some help for it. If you are hungry, go to a food bank, local church or relative and tell them your situation.  Talk to a neighbour.  Tell someone.  We cannot change other people but we can change ourselves.  Reach out.  Accept help. Be with people.  This is not easy for everyone, but each one of us is deserving of love.  This is all part of loving.