New Minister for Veteran Affairs reports

 "On the subject of veterans’ homelessness — veterans are two to three times more likely to experience homelessness than the general population and women who experienced military sexual trauma are 4.4 times more likely to face homelessness — she says “one homeless veteran is one too many.” 

Blue Jays/Hallowe-en/Conference - Retirement - Should I?

 As you know I am not a sports person but sports orientated or not, it was impossible not to be pro Blue Jays.  The buzz in Toronto was impossible to ignore.  We even got a break from hearing repetitous terrible news as the focus was Blue Jays.  The Blue Jays became our break from what ails us as we focused on winning.  Even, I would monitor the scores and watch segments which I have never done before and it was a learning experience.   I recalled playing a bit in grade school during lunch breaks until a teacher took me out of class and wanted me to play for the school.  I said no, not quite understanding why she thought I was good enough for the school team and not sure if I could keep impressing her.  I have always played just for fun and if it is for the school, it is no longer fun.  She tried everything even telling me I can take time off classes to play.  It is at a different level.  That continued as I grew older and played at various sports - I quit, when it became serious.   For me, sports was for fun only.  As I watched the segments of the game with the Blue Jays and Dodgers,  I thought it was more of a chess game, which was a different perspective.  Each move was calculated and methodical and at times I felt it painful to watch.  If I meet a Blue Jay again, I shall just thank him.  I will be more prepared.  The game could have gone either way and I respected both teams.  Fans who were so invested mourned, but none could mourn more than the Jays.  I think they were amazing.  I have a new found respect for all players.

Hallowe'en was something different too.  I had more at my door at over 200 than ever before.  I had little police people with motorolla radios and all in full gear.  It was so cute.  There were also swat teams and superheroes and superheroines.  What amazed me was how polite the children were.  I only had one person, I found disturbing.  He was a middle aged mustached man who grabbed a handful of chocolate and when I told him to just take one, he gave me a most hateful glare.  I was glad there were a lot of people around.  In the spirit of the Jays playing their final game, one sole teen was dressed as a Jay with his own baseball bat (probably not a good idea having a bat).  I couldn't believe the amount of kids who came in groves.  I was exhausted when it was over.  

The conference was also tiring mainly because of all the technical problems which went non-stop during the first day and didn't quite quit.  I missed one session as a result and had to watch the repeat of another video because I kept getting booted out.  I was surprised at how inefficient I found the technology to be which tarinished the experience.  At the end a spokeswoman downplayed the incompetence by saying there were a few problems.  Nothing worse than downplaying the problems.    However, do you remember or know of the day when children who were non-white had to have the National Guards so they could go to school with white children and the angry mobs?  Yes, I got to see them and hear them speak now as adults.  That in itself made the entire conference worth while.  I was in so much awe.  I took lots of notes and will be sharing that with you.

Retirement -  I keep changing my mind each day.  But I was thinking of what I love to do.  It wasn't until a family member told me I love what I do that surprised me.  Why do people tell you instead of asking you?  That is a problem for so many and it is because of that that I notice it more and perhaps make more of it.  But, what do I love?  My work as a therapist does not make me happy.   It is fulfilling and rewarding but not what I would call fun.  What I love is writing (books) but it does not bring in the bread and butter, but I do find it fun and love meeting people.  I love travel.  I love learning new things.  That is all for now, while I weigh in the pros and cons.  Some days I am leaning more of continuing and some days more on leaving.  My skills are transferable.  I am educated.  I think analytically and systematically.  What is there not to love?   I am giving myself til the end of December to decide.   I have all my education hours, so I just need a bit more time.

That is all for this week.  There is lots to share and I shall probably have more time next week.  Though we are in day light saving time, I am still on the old clock.  My body doesn't want to transcend and it doesn't have to.  I manage my own time.

       I want you all to have a nice week.  Keep safe.  If you want to order a book from me do so at https//www.silvaredigonda.myshopify.com.  If for any reason, you have trouble ordering a book, please let me know.

American Association of Couples and Family Therapy

      I haven't quite decided if I will be retiring or not and am leaning more on the not at this moment.   I had planned on retiring and focusing on my books/writing which I seem to have so little time for.  But,  there was still a nudge.  I will be attending a full three day conference with AAMFT and I shall be kept very busy.  Of course I shall be sharing anything new with you.  Friday, well it's Hallowe'en and so my focus will be spooky.  Talk next week...Happy Hallowe'en and Go Blue Jays........ 

Cartel Canada | W5's Avery Haines investigates a Canadian meth pipeline

M.A.I.D. (Medical Assistance in Dying)

 

     I have been trying to do catch up with my education hours since I haven't decided if I am going to retire or not.   I have worked for most of my life so this is a tough decision.  I’ll figure it out and if I don’t, I may just keep working.

     My staged house is gone and my own things are back, some broken, some damaged and that will all be discussion for a  topic on another day so you become aware.  The experience of trying to sell a house this time as been an eye opener.  

 

    What I want to talk about today is a webinar I attended last week.   I was supposed to get slides which didn’t happen and is quite annoying.   However, it would not be the host’s fault.  I have provided you with information before and so this will be an update.

When Assistant Dying started in Canada, I was horrified and wanted no part of it.  For the first two years of my career  “Do no harm” was my motto.   For years I have dealt with suicidal ideation.  Some began as children.  They didn’t really want to kill themselves and were crying out for help, though the thought was always there.  I began to realize that I am only human, and if it were to happen it would be beyond my control.   I knew that statistically before MAID, when people tried to commit suicide and failed, they felt differently.  They no longer wanted to die.   So, when MAID  was introduced to me at a full day conference at a hospital, I saw division among the entire medical field.  I still remember a woman sitting beside me complaining of a noted physician that she was opposed to MAID.  She asked me what I thought and I told her I agreed with this infamous physician.  She got up in disgust and sat somewhere else as far from me as possible.  Since then, no one has ever asked me to accompany them through this process. Usually people wanting suicide or thinking about it keep it as a secret and the first thing I do is encourage them to tell a parent or trusted friend.  Then with therapy and them finding a support group, they usually feel better about themselves.  However,  after much struggle, I decided that this is not about me, it is about them and their choices.  As therapists, we always have to be aware of our biases so we can work through it for the benefit of the client.  MAID is something I try to keep up with so I was surprised at the update.  I learned that about nine out of ten patients who had wanted MAID changed their minds when they were shown that they were cared for and this became a focus.  Their psycho-spiritual care was taken care of.   This made me think of that article I read, about the Catholic Bronx hospital that  had every patient who wanted MAID change their minds because they were taken care of with compassion.  You should find that somewhere in my blogs.  That stuck with me, because even  COMA patients felt they were cared for by nurses who talked to them. They were able to talk about his when they came out of their coma. You should find that here too.  Patients now wanting MAID are asked three times during the final process if they want to go to the next phase, the final one being their death.  Families are not informed if the patient doesn’t want them to be.  What bothered me this time round is that two provinces in Canada are forcing all  Physicians  to perform this procedure even if it is against their religion, or moral compass.  They simply do not have a choice and what is happening is physicians are leaving their professions as a result.  Canada is now facing what I believe is a health care crises.  We simply don’t have enough physicians which I have spoken to you about before.  So, who is the genius that thought this is a good idea and promoted it?  It would cause moral injury and/or  trauma for a physician who believes in causing no harm to help a client die,  if his/her perception is that this causes harm.  So why is this happening?  The other disturbing thing I learned is that they are working on having children as young as 12 making the decision to end their life, even without their parents approval.   I have heard discussion before from physicians working with children that parents try to prolong their children’s lives, even when they probably shouldn’t and even the children are ready to die more than their parents are to have them go.  My question was how many parents are going to leave the country if this law comes to effect?  What is now happening when patients are provided with  options of their treatment, MAID is included as an option.   This arose because someone decided that if people don’t know about MAID, then this should be included.  Now they wanted to include Mental Health Patients, but this has been delayed because of the uproar among Mental Health Providers.  Note, I say delayed and not stopped.  As they work on all this, the public is not notified ( I wonder why).  I have to admit that the morning after this webinar,  I had tears welling up as I thought about all this that I have written here.  How far are we going to go?  Why don’t we provide people with compassionate care?  The research is there, why not act on it?  If you remember in an earlier blog I wrote about American Insurance companies covering MAID, but not all the treatments the patient requires.  Money!!   

Busy-----------------------

 I haven't forgotten you.  It has simply been too busy.  I attended a webinar about M.A.I.D (Asssistant Dying).  I shall bring you up with that.  I attended another meeting and just finished now.  I am de-staging my house.  I am having car troubles and need to get that done.  If I still have any energy I shall attend another webinar about our court/prison system.  It is of interest because of who the speaker is.  Retired from teaching law school.  Anyhow,  Thanksgiving got delayed so I am trying to give that priority as well.  So, you see, this is why.....Please be patient because I have lots to tell you.....Yes there is more.  Have a good week.

I have been reading a lot - Here goes and one meeting - sick too

Well,  I got sick.  That's what happens when you shake hands with the devil.  Actually, I shaked more hands.  Normally, I use sanitizer afterwards but I couldn't make it obvious so I didn't.  Doesn't look good when someone wants to shake your hand and you pull out a sanitizer afterwards.  Remember Monk?  It started with a sore throat and then congestion but I really let myself slow down because I wanted to heal quickly and now I am 95% good.  Only, my family is now sick but we are all celebrating Thanksgiving together so that should be good.  It appears they have the flu, but getting together has been awhile and so it appears I shall risk it.  Since it was beautiful out for the week I was ill, I accomplished reading a lot.  I completed reading  "Eruption"  written by James Patterson and Michael Chrichton (creator of Jurassic Park).  He died but was planning to write this book so his wife seeked James Patterson's help.  She had all of her husband's notes.  A nice tribute to him.  That is why I wanted to read the book.  The setting is in Hawaii and if you like Volcanic eruptions, this may be the book for you.   I also wanted to read the books from "Word on the Street."  First, I read, "Light From Darkness" by Matthieu Bonin.  He gave me the book when I was talking to him at the end of the last day.  I will use his words at the back of the book, "This is a story about darkness and light, suffering and joy..."As a therapist I do at times recommend that people write their story as part of their their therapy.  The option is always there.  The author has the uncanny ability to fully describe the depth of darkness and dispair he can feel.  Normally, it takes time to build to this.  Some have difficulty describing the emotional hell they experience.  I also recommend that clients journal and they bring it to the therapy session if triggers exist.  What I also see when people write their stories is that they remember good things that happened in their lives or/ and good people all of which was forgotten due to the overwhelming sadness.  Next is a booklet, written by Thanh Dinh, "Salt & Ashes."  I met Thanh and her daughter gave me the book, indicating that her mom wanted me to have it.  It didn't take long to read and I was wondering how to describe it, when poetic suffering came to mind.  I found her family to be delightful at Word On The Street and wish them all well.  The last book which I haven't completed is, "Hate Story" by Jeff Cottrill.  We shared a table during our second day and he wanted to trade a book so I gave him, "The Internet Murders."  I am enjoying the book and have read 83 pages.  It begins with a riot at a funeral where a man who has died is hated and the target of what I would call mass hysteria on the internet.  That would never happen, right?  Anyhow, a small time reporter also working at a call centre, which she hates but has to pay the bills is assigned to find out why this man was so hated and so the mystery begins.  I love the satire and mystery and didn't think I would like the book as much as I do.  So, that is where I am at.  I will talk about the meeting another time which will only be a tidbit.  That's all for now.