The last day of the year. A time for pause.

What a year it has been! I never thought I could spend so much time at home. Things were the busiest for me since I started my practice. I had to quickly learn everything I could about Covid and about starting an online practice - something I had really not been interested in doing. Talk about changing quickly to adapt to the environment. I was concerned about achieving my education hours which was not necessary because I surpassed what I required. I attended more seminars and conferences than I ever had before because it could all be done on-line. It came to a point that I had to decline opportunities because I was simply just too busy. This is the first time I took so much holidays during Christmas because normally it is the most difficult time for people, but this year was difficult throughout the year for most people. We saw as a society the worse of people and the best. There was a surge of racism, much to my disappointment. I expected more from my fellow Canadians. We need to educate people more regarding this issue. We cannot have fellow Canadians target others because of religion, race, culture, colour etc.....We are all Canadians. Neither should we target our guests from other countries. Canadians also stepped up to help those who could not help themselves. Many volunteered their services for others. Children also participated in raising funds for those who needed it. I believe the goodness that came from people in helping others, far surpassed those horrible instances where people in their ignorance attacked others. Some were caught and charged, rightly so. We cannot tolerate this behavior. All people have the right to feel safe in this country. So many come from far away to find freedom here and we all have a responsibility to help each other achieve that. Freedom is not about exposing others to a virus. Freedom is about our protection so we can all be free to live. One of the things I usually ask from clients is how they manage their self care. Drugs and alcohol is not managing self care. Sometimes people need to face their fears and find a healthy way to manage that. We have people in this country who have suffered so much in their country of origin. They have been silenced, raped and/or tortured for their refusal of denouncing their religion or families. Canadians and those educated in this country have been incarcerated in other countries for no reason other than to promote freedom. Others have been incarcerated because dictators are mad at our country. I am in awe of so many people I have provided psychotherapy for. I have been offered a gift in being able to help others. I wish you all a safe and healthy new year. I wish you joy. In January I will return to providing you with notes from my conferences, seminars and other. I will also continue with theology notes and blurps from my books. My new Year resolution is to work a bit less and spend more time on my love of writing my stories. I also would like more time to be able to accept an opportunity which is of interest to me, rather than to causually dismiss offers. I would love to open up my home office again to people who prefer face to face. I will also continue with an online practice or telephone. I want to be able to offer someone an opportunity of their own choice. Many even young people are not tech savy and are intimidated by on-line therapy. I understand that. Regarding book #4, I have written about 30 pages so far and am hoping to write 200. The book I am now writing about is spooky with a touch of policing, mystery and more spookiness. Of course Holy Terror, my baby is in it as well. Holy Terror is sleeping right beside me as I am typing away. Mr Attitude is at his favourite place - my bed. I want to thank you all for reading my blogs. Thank you for your patience. Keep warm, eat well, keep moving and remember there are a lot of good people out there. It just may not seem so when you are a target. What do you think? Happy New year.

It is wonderful being on holidays - Even if it means staying home- Pandemic vacation - Keep safe - Stay home

I hope you are following the health guidelines and staying home. This has been very different for us all over the world. I am enjoying my first Christmas holiday in a long time at home. I am enjoying my own company with brief distance drop off's from neighbours with gifts. Sometimes I hear the exterior door open and a brief discussion arise. Needless to say I have a lot of security in my home which keeps clients and me safe. There is video, a panic alarm, fire alarm and intrusion alarm. Love our tech. For Christmas I was introduced to Alexa and I must admit it has become my favourite Christmas gift. I love technology. Now if I can only get her to clean up the house and cook, but it will all come eventually. I am enjoying this downtime. Anything having to do with therapy is off the board. All is fun and relaxation. I still get up at my regular time most days and do check my emails. I have done almost everything electronically this year including my work. I feel like Sandra Bullock in the net. Who knew that I would be living like a recluse for a year? I had been so busy working that I had no time to write for fun which is what I am doing now. My brain juices have come alive with ideas and I am pleased that I can focus now on my book 4. If I could this full time, it would be a breeze, but I still like my full time job. It seems I have been designated to be in the service of others. I have been asked at book events if I write about therapy and I always say no. I see the disappointment on their faces. I am also asked if I write about spirituality and again I say no. There are so many books out there about these topics so do they really need me to do it? I love books written by Stephen King and Dean Koontz and remember the first time I introduced myself to their books. Each of the three books I have written have been different from each other. Now in the one I am writing now, I am adding a bit of therapy because I do try to keep my few fans happy. I write for fun however. So, I will try to give you tid bits of my third book on most days while I am on holidays. Once I go back to work however, which is 5 Jan 21, I shall go back to providing you with my study notes. I am of course behind but that is ok. As I record all my notes here in virtual everland, I destroy the paperwork. Please keep safe. Our numbers of COVID are going up and it will increase even more after the holidays. I cannot wait for the vacine and I have to admit if I was a politician I would be trying to get it out as fast as I could 24 hours a day. There would never be a two day vacation depriving anyone of having another loved one die. This has been a time where one person's negligence can cause the death of so many. Yesterday I heard on the news that 1 in every 1000 Americans has died from the virus. So sad. I look at my Disney ornament on my tree and think about my last vacation in the States. None of us expected this virus which would change our lives. Once the vaccine is available to all of us, we will be safer and it won't matter so much if others continue to ignore the seriousness of this disease. For now, I wish you all a Happy New Year. It will be better and soon. What do you think?

The Internet Murders - Order now in soft cover or ebook...........Cosy up by the fireplace and stay inside. www.silvaredigonda.ca

“Ruby sat quietly, waiting for the computer screen to come alive. She could hear the rain tapping on the window by her desk. Leaning forward and looking out, she saw the dark figure leaning against the coffee shop building across the street. She was being watched again, but she felt secure in her warm apartment, though the soft glow of her desk lamp revealed her features to the outside world and the computer screen lit her face. She signed on with her pseudo name, “Hot Babe.” No message tonight. She looked outside again: the ominous figure was gone. There was a rustling sound somewhere in the apartment. It must be the cat, she thought. The outside night seemed distant to her. It was quiet now. She didn’t hear or see anyone approach and then something tightened around her neck, choking her. She gagged. In the struggle she knocked over her computer and lamp, but not before she saw the shadow strangling her, in the reflection of the window. Her eyes widened as she realized that she was dying. She was amazed that it was not painful. No pain; she could not breathe, she thought, as she heard rasping sounds[…]” Excerpt From: Silva Redigonda. “The Internet Murders.” iBooks.

Am I having Holy Terror for Breakfast?????

Holy Terror likes to jump up at the breakfast table after having her own breakfast, since she and Mr Attitude comes first. Mr Attitude goes back to bed but Holy Terror likes to sit by my computer while I write. Here is my baby girl turning 18 next year. She loves it when I write about her. www.silvaredigonda.ca

A Christmas Tale

I found myself standing alone, as the snow fell gently, Creating a pure white blanket on the asphalt, I was standing on. Looking at the Christmas scene outside St Charles Church, I felt sad that I did not have enough money for Christmas to shop; that I still had to prepare for a four hour exam. As I looked at the empty cradle of Jesus, my sadness increased. “Oh Lord, we have made such a mess of things. Here it is Christmas approaching, and our planet is suffering from global warming, we still fight and kill, in the name of God. The middle class is disappearing and corporations are merging and becoming powerful. The rich are getting richer while our poor are getting poorer. Our governments are deserting us Lord. Please do not give up on us. Please forgive us.” “I am hungry miss?” I turned and found a beggar beside me. I wondered why I had not heard him approaching. He was big framed, with dirty long hair, a fat and heavily pimpled face and a foul smell that not even the cool air could dissipate. His face was so dirty that I could not determine his skin color. His mittens were black and he wore a long woolen brown coat that looked frayed but thankfully warm and he wore heavy worn boots that had seen too many winters. “I am hungry miss.” He repeated with patience. I was holding my submarine sandwich which I had just bought. I had decided to give myself a treat. After all, Christmas was approaching and I deserved something. I had just stopped to admire the Nativity scene. I looked into those sorrowful big brown eyes and saw more sorrow than I could ever bare being reflected back to me. I handed him my submarine and whispered “Merry Christmas.” I didn’t know if wishing him a Merry Christmas was politically correct, but I did not care this evening. I wanted to be free, in my seemingly democratic country to say “Merry Christmas.” What has happened to my city, to my country, to my world? I thought with sadness. I had lowered my head and looked up to see my hobo gone. He had taken my sandwich and I wished him well. I walked back to my old, rusted car in the Church parking lot and unlocked it. There was my submarine sandwich waiting for me. I looked back towards the nativity set and saw the boot prints on the snow from the Nativity area, I had just come from. There was only one set of boot prints this late night that marred the soft blanket of snow.

In the Christmas Spirit - A reflection of the past year and wishing you the best of the holiday season

I have been singing everyday since I have been on vacation. I have one pet “Holy Terror” the star of my two books (one is still incomplete) who hates it when I sing. She even howls for me to stop. My other pet, “Mr Attitude” loves it. He comes running, wants me to hold him and dance as I sing away. My mom used to ask me to sing with her every Christmas whether I was in the mood or not. She would have me sit with her by the fake fire place and sing along to her favourite song, “Silent Night”. Tonight on the tube they are focusing on that song and so I shall watch it for her. Christmas day I have memories of exploring the unknown with my mom. She had the same sense of adventure and throughout the year we would drive and explore the country. Day trips were lots of fun. We spent time with the entire family and I also got away to spend time with friends. Last year several close friends, including a neighbour died. This year I recently lost another close friend of mine due to the complications of COVID 19. However, with all the loss in recent years I have so much joy in my soul. I believe in God and I believe that we move on to heaven or purgatory and I won’t even mention the other hot spot. I think of it as a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. There are so many mysteries we do not understand. This has been a busy year for me. I have dealt with much suffering from the people I care for in my practice. Because of that I have focused much on my self care. I don’t normally take this much time off at Christmas but COVID has increased the suffering of so many. It has compounded suffering. What has been consistent is the echo of shame and guilt but what has also been consistent is the voice of hope. There are many who have lost their careers and with it their sense of identity. They are grieving but with that some have shown such resiliency in searching for jobs to sustain them during this pandemic. There has been more difficulty with partners and families with polarized views of the pandemic and more disturbances as families have to spend more time together. This Christmas if I may make a suggestion is to focus on what you have. This may be a time to explore what you actually enjoy in life. Try a hobby, try music, try writing, try finding something that moves you. I know that I can live in a castle and I can have the same enjoyment living in a cabin. I love nature and spend a bit of my day looking outside at my trees, birds and squirrels. I spend a bit of each day in prayer, reflection and reading. I love life. I am adjusting to social distancing and have actually in this second wave closed down shop and have done all therapy on-line. I am aware that people do not all social distance or wear masks and may not be honest in revealing this. Safety always needs to be the first consideration. Who knew that my entire practice would be virtual or via telephone. This has also been a time to reflect regarding my future. I would like to spend one year travelling. I can take a Sabbatical and continue working part time while travelling. After all what I need is a computer and a secure site. I just need to check with my college. Of course with my pets it is not possible, however soon they will be both 18 years old. I don’t want any changes for them that will cause stress. They have brought me many years of joy and I intend to care for them properly. I like seeing them happy. They make me laugh each day. I am aware that I have many choices. Which road should I take? The one I wish to take at the moment. In my practice I try to help people achieve their own goals whatever they may want. Sometimes, they don’t know what that looks like. Sometimes they do not know who they are because people have always told them who they are and forced them to be what they wanted for themselves. Why not this Christmas make a decision for what it is you really want for yourself? Whatever, your religious belief is try to think of it has a positive. I hear so much of a punishing God. Think of God has a loving God. What would that look like? Try some soul searching. It is difficult to make choices when feeling overwhelmed and that is the time to step back and refocus. It has also been a year where I have been alerted of some support groups which may be representing themselves. Do your homework and if something doesn’t feel right move on. Dial 211 to find help in determining what you are looking for in mental health. People need to be ready to get help for themselves. Families suffer when there is addiction or mental illness within family members. We need to find happiness and joy in our own lives. This Christmas I wish you and your families a wonderful holiday and positive experience. Look into your soul within your search and not what you own. The best of you is within yourself. Merry Christmas. Silva (http//: silvaredigonda.ca redigondapsychotherapy.com

VACATION VACATION VACATION - Why not buy one of my books for the Holidays - Ask for a signed copy

Wow, it feels great to be on vacation. I wasn't even going to read my emails, but then I remembered that I sell my books and how am I going to sell them if I don't check out who wants one? So, I am glad that I did today. Also, I don't want to return to work and find that I need to spend a week reading all the emails so I am glad that I managed to get on today. However, I am not booking any courses or planning anything that requires me to use my calender. I want to get back to writing my book and stay in the mindset. I will begin tomorrow. If I can write a bit everyday I will be quite pleased. I should start cutting and pasting some for you here as well. Why not. Maybe that will motivate you. I am now with shopify and you can find me at silvaredigonda.ca. I can deliver world wide so there is no excuse if you live in Timbucktoo. I have done all my Christmas shopping and deliveries and so I am good to go. I have been watching Christmas movies til I was able to memorize the format. I actually went grocery shopping and never thought that going shopping for food could be such an event. That my car made it there and back only enhanced my joy. I cannot wait for the vaccine to be available to me and return to things being more normal. For now, I am concluding my day. I will talk to you more often and try a sales pitch. If you have bought all my books, I thank you. If not let your fingers do the walking. Awwwwwww, did I mention I love vacations????? ">

Conquest Joshua 1-6, 24, Joshua 24 and Judges - Theology notes continues

Historical Prolouge Vassel - Subordinate group of people Sovereign - wants to illicit a commitment from the vassel. Look at all the benefits. Look at how there is freedom. Look at benefits received. Positive reasons why should be engaged. What are the stipulations after receiving gifts? Vassels return fugitive slaves. If you are going to be faithful, you must return, another don’t remove markers, paying taxes; oath making promise is made and you have witness. Blessings and curses are associated with it. Some kind of ritual for curses, consumed blessing and curse so when fulfilled treaty - body could carry blessing or curse, body would carry curse. Let me be torn like this broken animal if not kept. We have people of Israel and God being bonded. Priestly - forever - difference is lack of curses. Vassel Treaties - no mediators. Be aware of what is unique in the story. Two rituals - 1. Blood 2. Sacrificial meal (both Sinai Covenant). A vassel never embedded a social God. Is embedded to obey his laws. Joshua and Judges Conquest - Infiltration - Revolt in between period of Sinai Covenant and the question behind this. What is the manner Israel came to have this bond? It is hard to ascertain for there be a lot of from the group of being left behind. We don’t have that. We’re in a period of time. How did Israel come into the land? Conquest- Infiltration - revold. Joshua - linear narrative, shows Joshua receives leadership from Moses. The image of conquest is highlighted in the book of Joshua. Integration - local people joined this group as Israelites. Not too much evidence of revolt. There are three manners of possessing the land. Story of Rahm - spies protected by women. Crossing of Jordon River - begins but not completed. (Richard Hess is a good article to read) (Dever William - Archeology of that time). Deuteronomy - Moses is sent out and spies to check the land - it was good - they had to be purified - Joshua again spies. Killed because polluted the land (with idolatry and injustice). Prime evil justice in Genesis. Motif of wrath of Joshua. To be continue

Domestic Abuse

I have another week to go and then I am taking holidays and back to work 5 Jan 20. I will still be writing but writing in the Christmas Spirit or holiday spirit. I am taking a break from psychotherapy. But today I want to continue with the Conference I attended and will probably add tidbits from other sources. I want to talk about Domestic Violence. Severe violence happens to one in four women. One in seven are men. Severe violence is being struck with a fist, beaten, slammed against. There is physical violence, sexual - forcing sex. Abuse is also emotional - harming self worth or emotional well-being - domination, degradation, constant criticism, continual blaming, isolation, economical (Financial ) control, property damage, jealousy etc… Theoretical - holding sexist attitudes, seeing or being a victim of violence as a child - Having insecure attachment platforms - Not having a job or other events that cause stress. Secondary violence - using drugs or alcohol esp. drinking heavily. Depression and Trauma. Q+A: Usually hit in the face. Couple Therapy - negotiation. Determining if couple therapy is safe/possible. Dr Gunnur Karakurt, Phd. Reporting Issue: not sure of exact number of male victims. Not many seminars for men. They go to Emergency. May not be believed by Police. Few studies - emotional abuse. Male victims did not report separately. Not known what treatment is available for men. So far not really out there, maybe one or two. Health Correlates of Violence: Victims/survivors - PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, substance abuse. Treatment: Domestic violence shelters/educational program supporting victims/survivors. Group therapy: High drop out rate unintentional consequences, evidence minimal on the effectiveness of these interventions. Treatment is focusing on the whole person by improving mental health issues, safety and support. My input. I still owe you about domestic abuse which will eventually come. It is true that there is a focus on battered women and much less of men being abused. As a therapist, I too have been chastised for having an interest in protecting men. However, I have worked with men all my life in an environment that was mostly men and though I have met men who I have little use for even outside of work, whom I have tolerated because they were married to people I like, they have been the minority. I have had wonderful friends who are men and wonderful mentors who are men, mainly because my interests were careers traditionally chosen by men. Times are changing. I have provided psychotherapy for both women and men who have been abused from childhood times to the present. For women who have had different level of abuse from their partners report that psychological abuse was worse than the physical abuse they sustained. They lose their self worth and self esteem and we work to have them regain a truer sense of self. Beautiful women think they are ugly because they have been told so many times. Imagine having life start with sexual abuse as a mere child and have it continue to adult hood with various partners. Can you break the cycle? Yes, but it takes time. There is much to talk about this topic. But not today. Talk soon.

The pandemic, virtual practice education and what do you think?

Time is just flying. I completed one hour with the CRPO regarding How to Expect the Unexpected in on line practice. This is becoming old hat for me since my entire practice has moved on line with a few exceptions, preferring in person is not one of them, during this second wave. I make exceptions for emergency response persons, domestic abuse etc…..At the beginning it was a mad dash to learn everything about this pandemic and on line therapy. I have opened myself to provide help to those living in remote areas etc…..So, though I shall continue to accept invites for tele-health or other terms for on line therapy, it is not with the same starvation. I can dwindle what I think may be repetitive. One thing not mentioned today but was mentioned with the AAMFT conference was to be mindful of spyware from the perps on the computers of their victims/survivors. I do want to mention a few things from an hour talk on 29 Sep 20, York Circle COVID 19 and the Environment, Behaviour Policy Implications for Sustainability. The talk was from Dr Mark Winfield, Faculty of Environmental and Urban Change. Does anyone actually think of benefits from COVID? Dr Winfield stated that there has been a 15% to 20% global reduction of emissions, air quality improvements. There is a vulnerability of global supply chains - no domestic availability. We did have manufacturing abilities. Gov’t responses - two discoveries - a return to normal vs building back better. Exodus from urban core to suburbs and exurbia. Is this temporary or a long term trend? There was an 80% reduction of TTC (I haven’t taken the TTC during the pandemic even though my car is dying). Regarding the European union - moving investments into climate change. This was an opportunity to move forward in this pandemic. There was a dismantling of any protection by this provincial government for the environment here which was put in place during 1975 - all dismantled. I found this so disappointing. Remember when I wrote that global warming is more abstract than this pandemic? Keep that in mind. I am so looking forward to the vaccine. I am not a recluse but have been living like one trying to protect mine and me. I would like you to take a moment and think about how the Pandemic has changed you? Have you been reflecting about things that you disregarded before? Have you changed because of it? I want to wish you my best. Take care and if you want to read one of my fluff books you can order at http://www.silvaredigonda.ca Take care.

York Circle - COVID 19 Vaccine: Production, Policy, Politics

The speakers were Dr Harris Ali, Dr Gillian Wu, Dr Vivian Sarikakis and Dr A.M. Viens. These are my notes. We are eight months into the pandemic. Dr Sarikakis began with the questions…What is a gene? What is a protein? Ability of a cell to carry out its function. SARS-COV-2 was identified a year ago from a patient in China. We had SARS-COV BJO1 form before (bats) and another from the Middle East. What is it? It looks like spikes - red - on the crown of the virus and the grey portion is important that by washing with soap and water, this destroys the envelope, thus the virus. Basically, a key to unlock the host and therefore enters the hosts cell. After vaccination - antibodies should stop the key to open it up and infect the cells. SARS-COV-2 life cycle - 1. Entry - recognition between spike and ACE2 receptor proteins. 2. Replication: RNA genome is released in cell which generates copies. 3. Release - new virus is released. Can inject adjacent cells. (There was more details regarding are therapeutics may be used. You can find how this all works regarding cells and immunity in my earlier blogs so I won’t be repeating this. Dr Wu reported 1. Viral RNA detected in the back of the nose. Lab performs the test which takes time. She described how testing is done and how it has evolved to shorter time. There are three vaccines right now which is big - has to enable the spike protein to the person’s immune system therefore activating the immune system. (again read my earlier blogs for elaboration. We were being typed live on facebook but I couldn’t find it today for you to watch. I do recommend you watch this once it is back on the internet (York University - titled as per my caption). Dr Wu talked about the vaccines still needing approval, however, she will take whatever is first approved. Dr Harris Ali, Dept of Sociology talked about misinformation about the pandemic and vaccines. - misinformation, fake news, conspiracy theories etc…The vaccine hesitancy is party of the social environment - consideration of politics, anti vaccine campaigns, misinformation (unintentionally misleading) and disinformation (intentionally misleading). In recent studies in the US, it was revealed that 35% of Americans might not want to get COVID vaccines. Mis/Disinformation may fuel conspiracy theories. The objective is breaking the connection between the agent and the host. That is what washing with soap and water is all about. Anti vaccination social media accounts with COVID 19 conspiracy narrative has grown by 19% in follower account during this time. People are busy and so rely on shortcuts, often looking for consistency with their own attitudes. People will sometimes disregard additional fact checking that contradicts their political beliefs. Dr Ali spoke of his involvement with Ebola in Africa. People denied Eboli until their loved ones died. Global warming is more abstract. We need to be able to stay safe longer with controlled measures when the vaccine is being distributed. Dr Viens spoke of the population of Ontario having almost 15 million people. Question asked? Who will get the vaccine first? There was some discussion regarding distribution principals for scare resources. Ethical questions came into play. It was reported that Aboriginals have ten years less life expectancy. Other potential relevant factors. How long will the vaccine last? More than one dose? An international concern is required. Panel spoke that normally 10-15 years is required to produce a vaccine. HIV - 40 years and still no vaccine. In Canada we maintain working as a country and not individual. We are kind in compared to some countries. The potential to improve society with kindness, to improve society and not just our health. Factors such as where we live, the structure etc…goes beyond self care. There was a question period and my question was asked first from the panel, my first name is clear (last not so much). I had concerns because of what I heard from the news (misinformed unintentionally). Answer: The testing was double blind. Patients are reporting. It is transparent. 44,000 people have been tested. It has been peer reviewed. There has been sharing of information. Everyone has been working together. Lots of money has been donated for this research. 2003 SARS inf. Corona Virus has agents of SARS. Around the world, putting aside differences and real time connection - unprecedented at that time. We are working more together nowadays (than 20 years ago). We are evolving for the future. Another question - Is a refusal of 35% referring to the vaccine affecting the rest of us? We have no data yet, because there is no vaccine as yet. If there is a children’s party and one is infected - all will get it. This is a human right? Question: Does Canada have the experience to provide vaccine to the entire population? Response: Urban yes. Worry is those who are marginalized and remote communities (aboriginals). Canada is a cold climate. Other countries don’t have the capacity for freezers to accommodate billions of doses of vaccines. Dr Harris begins talking about Africa and electricity problems (I watched a documentary about this and it is problematic). Question: Frequency of testing vaccine? We know for now that it is five months effective. Mutation in the virus changes. Vaccine is required for that change. We are still vaccinated by the 1918 virus. It has changed and we are still vaccinated each year. This lecture was live on facebook however I could not find the link so decided to share my notes with you. I have another about the pandemic from York University that I attended a while ago but it is still relevant. I will get that for you next week. I have also attended a two hour session with our college and will attended another two hours. I cannot share that with you. There are times I am not able to share and that is ok. So please, keep safe. I will not be proof reading this so any errors are mine alone. I have also had to turn down some interesting events simply because of restricted time.

The family Body Project: Family - level Prevention of Eating Disorders (notes)

As promised last week this will include my notes from the American Association of Family Therapy I attended. This included one hour of education hours. It was indicated that 13% of young women globally met DSM-5 disorder. Prevention is vital because 80% never receive treatment. Risk Factors: 1. number of hypocoloric diets and having childhood abuse 2. body dissatisfaction. 3. cultures that emphasize thinness. 4. Family pressure to be thin. Protective Factors in family content: 1. adaptability and cohesion - ability to change; communicate. 2. Family Meals. 3. Emotional safety/attunement. Able to express emotional needs. Body Project is an eating disorder program proven to be a most effective program for teens and young adults identified as female. Family based treatment is more effective, so developed this project, from thin - to fit. Increase culture for body acceptance; family connection and communication. Decrease risk factors - thin ideals, body dissatisfaction dieting - the ideal body dissatisfaction dieting and negative affect - Disorder Eating Symptoms. For further information you may look up the project. They involve one parent in this approach. With my previous studies eating disorders were also about control. Some people feel they have no control over their lives but thee can dictate what they eat and when. Record what you eat and when. Take this time to work on yourself. Are you ready to make changes in your life? What do you think?

System Family Therapy and the World

Last week I attended eight hours of education with the American Association of Family Therapy. I do want to report some tidbits here and there for you which I think you may be able to use. The first lecture was about the state of the systemic family therapy and the world. I have difficulty saying “black” and “brown” for people. Life is a circle isn’t it? That includes what is politically correct for the moment. So, I will try to stick to how it is being lectured with some polishing. People who are black and brown skin coloured are more impacted globally than others. Globally they don’t have basic health care let alone having health care needed because of the pandemic. We need to share our knowledge to help others. This first presentation was from a small panel and the book recommended to read was, “Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy Degruy (I believe). One panel member spoke of evil and of course that started a debate. Do I believe in evil? Of course I do which is evident in my writings. Then there was some good people, do evil things and yes there is evil……..What I like about the States is they don’t censor too much. There is a refreshing perspective of opinions. I love that myself. I suppose I didn’t get too much from the first Keynote. Why? Because I live in a multicultural city. I have studied different cultures and religions. So, I shall give you some of me here. The Corona Virus has taken many lives world wide. Still there are those who haven’t woke up and smelled the coffee. I was told that about eight children were standing in a circle at a local park, near a middle school, passing a marijuana joint around after each takes a toke. The adult was too scared to say anything and that I have found to be the case, more often. Some adults are fearing youths because of possible violent retribution. Toronto the good? We had a child walking with his mother who was shot and later died. This beautiful child loved living in Canada, his new home who loved speaking English - guns and gangs. All I believe have been arrested, one was arrested out East. One I believe was already on probation for weapons offences. A policeman,OPP, a veteran of 28 years I believe, was killed. Why? He was responding to an unwanted person call. This happened in Manitoulin Island. It’s a pretty place. I have driven through there and thought it would be a peaceful place to live. Imagine being killed when you are debating retiring? So much sorrow. I love the different cultures with the accompanying dances, religions, and foods. There are different religions, different cultures, different political regimes. There is democracy, socialism, dictatorship. All this shapes people to become who they are. People define themselves differently regarding their own belief system or within their culture. When I see a person I may have an idea of their culture, religion etc…However, what is most important is how they see themselves and what they believe in which may be opposite from what another perceives. There is no doubt that some countries suffer terribly under dictatorship and poverty. The pandemic and global warming affects those living in Impoverished situations first and foremost. Greed has become the norm at the expense of others. In my undergrad we were studying (Analytical writing or reasoning) about the native communities and how their lakes were being polluted. Now years later I hear the same. Why hasn’t it been cleaned up? Why do they not have clean drinking water? This is all important in family therapy. It is important in how people relate within a family. I want to continue with my third hour session next week. It’s been busy, but a good busy. I am looking forward to my Christmas holidays. Tomorrow I will be listening to a lecture from the York Circle which will last an hour and a half. I have more to report next week. How do you perceive others who do not look like you or talk like you or who do not share your own beliefs? Do you consider them inferior to you? Would you help someone if you could? Would it depend on their race? Do you prejudge? Keep safe please. www.silvaredigonda.ca www.redigondapsychotherapy.com next week The second lecture I chose was “mitigating our risk for burn out and compassion fatigue during COVID 19: The first responder tool kit. I have already posted the tool kit reference. The rest I have talked to you before. If I am skipping things, it is not because I don’t think it is important, it is because a lot of what I hear has already been known and I have shared it with you. As you know I have an interest in first responders, veterans and others who help people, so scroll down my blogs to find anything relevant in that area. The next hour was “The body project: Family-level prevention of Eating Disorders. I haven’t spoken about this too much so I am going to talk about this next week. Bye for now.

App for emergency persons. AAMFT Conference

"This web app aids those who are deployed to emergency response events in maintaining their own physical, emotional, and social well-being. It provides resources for before, during, and after deployments that help to responders to take care of daily needs, monitor their own functioning, reflect on experiences, and more. A variety of responders (e.g., physicians/nurses, EMTs, police/fire personnel, behaviorists) will find this app useful. Caring for oneself is essential in order to do this kind of work well. https://firstrespondertoolkit.com/" I wanted to share the above information with you. I was going to try it myself first, but I am assured that this is all legitimate. Yesterday was busy, but today I will have a few breaks with the same amount of four hours instruction. I require 20 hours of continuing education yearly and I was concerned that this year I would not be able to get courses, boy was I wrong. I have had so many invitations, that it is first come, first sign up. I don't accept invites unless it is from my associations or universities. I have checked into some interests and found that they were suspicious, so I don't even bother anymore. Much of what I have attended is not new, however some is and I will want to share with you. Because there is so much information and I still have to share my notes, I will stream line it, like I have above. I have talked to you about trauma, but I never had a kit to help you. I will update you on any information or research. If the States continues providing me with this, I will not divorce them. They are advertizing their universities and maybe today I will be able to visit them during my breaks. Virtual is making it possible for me to attend. My pets are getting older and needier. They have given me such joy and continue to do so, that they are my priority in keeping them feeling secure and happy. This pandemic has allowed me to appreciate the benefits of telehealth and so I shall continue with this stream. Will talk again next week. I am enjoying the conference, though navigating was a trial and error. I shall be more prepared today and in future. Keep safe.

Two Day Conference - AAMFT tid bits

Remember when I said I was not going to renew my membership with the States? Well, I paid my dues for another year since they offered a two day free conference which begins today. I just can't seem to divorce from the States. It's been another busy week and I have decided to take a few weeks off near Christmas, from the 20th to Jan 4. I don't normally do that because people become very sad during that time. However, everyone is much sadder because of COVID and elections and etc.....so I am going to take the time off and take a break from all this continuous education etc....and get back to my book. I don't want to stop writing because I am busy. I am now 100% on line or telephone though I have not eliminated person to person completely. There is always a window. Normally I do telephone because people don't have a computer or idea how to use one. Technology was not kept up with everyone, even the young. There is always a learning curve and someone always gets missed. I am sorry I am not enlightening you today. I do have to go now. Keep safe, wear your mask and stay 6' away from people not in your household. Reach out if you can to someone who is alone or elderly or sad. A phone call can go a long way. What do you think? www.redigondapsychotherapy.com silvaredigonda.ca (books for fun only)

www.silvaredigonda.ca

My new web site has just been completed and is now up and running. www.silvaredigonda.ca

Updates on Hallowe’en, seminars, elections! - Food for thought

Once again it has been a busy week. Even my vehicle is sick and so it is getting treatment as we speak. It is on its last wheels. I told you I would update you on my Hallowe’en experience. This is the first year that I never put out anything, not even a pumpkin though they were very cheap. I didn’t because I did not want to encourage children to go trick or treating at my home. Normally I will get 125 + and that is not counting their parents, dogs (I have treats for them too) etc…This year I put out the sign that I was invisible due to Covid and to help themselves to treats. I had about a total of 10 children in all. There was barely a dent in what I had out. I was impressed at how meticulous each child was as she/he carefully chose a treat. I was also impressed at how no one took the entire bowl. They were so polite and sweet. It was nice to see. Aside from seeing clients, I have also attended meetings, seminars and conferences (I need to send a reminder for a certificate). I have a drawer full of certificates just in case I am asked by my college for proof. I am going to have to think of a better way, rather than keep filling up drawers. Perhaps I shall keep them on a usb stick. Good idea. There has been quite a controversy this year about racism and I did hear lectures on what I wrote earlier about the Oriental community, and also black lives from three different men speakers. I have decided not to share all that. You know that racism is wrong. You know that prejudice is wrong. Who did impress me the most was one man at a meeting as a guest speaker and not an educator. He is a reporter and he spoke about unity. He talked about the Jane and Finch corridor and how the university, York, helps. I remember being told years ago about how gang sexual assaulters would persuade young girls that they shouldn’t bother reporting it to the police because they are even worse. He talked about how newspapers are full of black men in the crime section and not very much in the community pages. As a reporter he was able to influence and he spoke about a florist who gave him a dozen roses and asked that he give 11 away. This was for community spirit. What this reporter did as well is plant a dozen roses and when people walk by his house he will cut off a rose and give it to them to start a conversation. His talk during this meeting had me reflecting on what I can do for my community. My community is not underserved or is it? My community is changing. Someone started a community alert system and conversation and so residents were contacted and of course I am one. They recommend services and if someone doesn’t perform we all know about it. If someone steals or goes canvassing, we all hear about it. It is very proactive and it unites. What I liked about the reporter is that he too unites. With the US elections I wasn’t expecting such a close race. It tells me that this election is very polarized. I completed watching the 9/11 history series and contemplated how connected we all were. I had tears watching the towers go down at the time. I remember how we all stood united. I remember how Canada helped. With the elections in the States, I see the polarized division and only hope that we all unite once again. I love the States. I had actually wanted to work there, but now with my registration, I am no longer allowed to work there for more than a year without jeopardizing my license. Oh well. New York I shall visit once again and Disney World, you are my favourite happy place. The States is my neighbour regardless who is elected. This morning 24 hours news reported that wholesale foods won’t allow their employees to wear poppies. What can I say to that? Have a good weekend. I should be back to normal in my reports next week. If you have a question, don’t hesitate to ask. Today I am going to finalize my new website with shopify. I will give it a go. It is a Canadian Company and I am able to connect to the post office here which will be easier for delivery costs world wide. The web site for that should be www.silvaredigonda.ca I am now at www. silvaredigonda.com. I shall keep my American site for advertising my psychotherapy services. I am adding a calendar for psychotherapy as well, but I won’t be able to provide many appointments. I have no time to write my book. It is still a 20pages. Have a good weekend. Be safe. Keep your distance and wear your mask. This pandemic is very serious and very real. Bye for now.

Hallowe'en and bringing you up to date

The weekend is here once again. It has been a busy week. I had a full day education with one organization, a meeting with an association. Another meeting with a guest speaker today and of course I see my clients in the midst of all this. TGIF. I cannot believe Hallowe'en is here. Hey, I even managed to go out and buy a mini bottle of champagne to celebrate the American elections, but I will have to wait for next weekend to celebrate that with pizza, because I have an early, early morning Wednesday. Tomorrow is my first virtual Hallowe'en party celebration. I am not quite sure how it works, but I am game. It is with the Sisters of Crime. Men are members too and that is how I was introduced to the organization. My book is still suffering due to all the other work I am doing. However, it is all in my brain cells. Tomorrow night should prove interesting. I have been debating what to do with kid's who knock on my door. Aside from when I have been out of the country or working the night shift or going out trick or treating myself, I have never missed it. This year I did not decorate my house except for one table cloth runner which I bought in the States last year. The rest of my fun stuff is still in its storage waiting for next year. I debated about what to do. So, finally I decided that kids will still get their treats if they come around. I will put out a sign tomorrow (orange) and say that this year I am invisible and they are to help themselves. I shall put the chips and chocolate and they can take whatever they want. My neighbourhood is full of kids and they are so very cute. I just cannot stop myself, my bad. Please parents take the sanitizer with you, stay 6' apart and better still celebrate at home with popcorn, games, scary kid movies. However, I know that in my neighbourhood, they will still come out and I just cannot ignore that. I'll let you know how that goes next week. I have lots of information for you and I will make some time to get it out to you. Stay safe. Enjoy the holiday and make time for fun.

Acute discrimination and the Asian-white mental health gap during COVID -19 by Dr Wu (notes)

I attended this one hour session provided by Dr C. Wu, Associate Professor at York University’s Department of Sociology. He stated that before the pandemic there was a low level of harassment and threats in Canada and the U.S.A. This changed. He showed a slide of an Asian woman in Vancouver (I believe it was) being punched. There have been over 2500 anti-racism incidents in the States. In Canada - over 40% report more racism. What are the consequences? When people experience racism, it could lead to higher rates of mental incidents. In China Town (downtown Toronto) a middle aged woman at the Dragon Mall started swearing at a man, calling him “a fu——-g Chinese.” There has been 30 methods of data collected in the States. Longitudinal studies depict Asian Americans having a higher level of discrimination. There is a gap between white and Asian immigrants, over time - First wave in March there was a rise in discrimination and a huge increase in mental issues. Asian and white immigrants tend to be healthier (younger/healthier). During the 2nd wave there was a decline in gap. The findings were that Asian immigrants had an increase in mental health issues. In Canada there is a similar pattern. What can be done? Group - specific mental health interventions and support in response to COVID 19 pandemic. Health professionals play a key role in countering racism and its consequences. Ensure medicine as a field continues to care for all minority communities. We need to find a way to stop all this hatred. People are born here; belong here. The Chinese community is less likely to use mental health services. In Western society we are more open to it. When President Trump calls COVID 19, the Chinese Virus there is a spike in Asian mental issues each time. Research has shown that since the outbreak, there is prejudice against Asians. In data analysis only Asians show correlation to the pandemic. Historically the Chinese were discriminated against in the States and Canada. There are historical issues and now the pandemic has worsen it. This educational piece is on U-tube and Facebook. Any errors are my own. I have a virtual meeting and a one hour educational piece regarding couples in crises and brief therapy today. Monday I have an educational day with a Professor from the States regarding racism. Next Month I will be attending 8 hours at two hour intervals regarding Ignatian spirituality. I will be sharing with you as much as possible. If you ever have questions, I am more than happy to try to answer them. I am also working on a web site with Preet to list my books/ebooks on shopify. You will be able to order my books from all over the world. I am also starting a new online calender for new clients in my private clients. I am afraid I don’t have much room or openings but since I am paying for the service, I should be using it. Take care. Tomorrow is my day of rest. Talk soon.

How and when to deliver care in-person vs. virtually (notes) CAMH

Yesterday I attended an one hour education period with CAMH virtually. Tomorrow I have another hour with York University. I don’t want to fall behind too much and so what I have decided to do is to write my notes to you and keep a copy of that for myself, record my education hours on my resume and for my college and appropriate association and then I can carry on with the other stuff. So, as you know I have gone from in person at my home office to virtually or telephone. However, there are still times that I do see a person in my office. I went from an office that was comforting and warm to an office that is almost sterile. My books I donated to my old professor, a Jesuit. He is now in a retirement home and so I asked him to donate them to the library when he is finished. He has told me that to read all those books a person can get a fine education. I did not donate the books he wrote. I have only one shelf of books in my office right now and another in my other home office. I re-placed my comfy love seat with wooden/metal chairs which is easy to sanitize. I have cleaning supplies replacing cute ornaments on my filing cabinet. I have had one long term client in my home office and I could tell he does not like the changes. However, COVID has changed everything. Back to CAMH. The presenters were Sandra Easson-Bruno from North Simcoe Muskoka Specialized Geriatric Services and Dr Allison Crawford - CAMH, General Psychiatry and Health systems Division, Associate Chiefs. I am always honoured to be invited. There was discussion regarding how overdoses skyrocketed in April, May and June. I see people who suffer addiction as well as their partners and/or families. Sometimes one doesn’t think he or she has a problem but arrives because of an ultimatum. There are different stages which I have written about before so I won’t elaborate. However, there are times when one really wants to get help and there the work can begin. The one suffering the addictions is the one who needs to recognize that he or she needs the help. When it comes to virtual therapy the presenter stated there was an indication that some are less vocal and they might disengage from treatment. Loneliness can increase. There was concerns about the family environment virtually. There are eyes there. I have noticed that myself especially with children. They know their parents are listening and therefore children won’t open up. Others I see use the therapy virtual room as a way of letting others know what they are saying. It is easy to tell when they start whispering with something they don’t want to share. Yes there are eyes as the presenters reported and I have noticed. With my weekly discussions of self/client care this is one topic which has been shared as we all experience virtual therapy in our care for others (I have missed last week and will also miss this week due to seeing clients and more education). In person, when I see clients, they are free to speak. There is no one listening except me. No one is standing by the door. They are safe and free. Another issue raised regarding the elderly is the circumstances of virtual when there is confusion with an elderly person, or a fall. I do see elderly people in my office and not on line. Usually a family member will bring them in and I encourage the escort to return in 50 minutes. I tell them where the local bakery is. CAMH is having 7000 virtual visits a month. I have gone from seeing people 99 % in person and about 1% by telephone to 99% virtually and 1% in person or communicating via telephone. I do try to encourage virtual. However people I see can afford to see me, either because of their EAP, Insurance or ability to pay my fee. I have decided not to increase my fees this year due to COVID. The presenters talked about Virtual mental health and the client’s experience. What happens when they cannot afford a virtual device? How can they access a device? How about their ability to engage? They also talked about those having no access what so ever to technology, not being able to see or hear. They talked about social isolation being huge. However, they also talked about great virtual programs. One of the things they mentioned is how many organizations where people depended on are now closed. I have heard complaints about that especially from the families of seniors. They talked about guidelines for virtual groups. Overall, a lot was covered in an hour. So now I will post the hour in my education platforms. My own thinking has changed since using virtual. If you read one of my previous blogs where I posted a paper regarding the ethics of virtual therapy, you will notice how I examined the pros and cons of virtual vs in person. Because of COVID I have had to move quickly to continue the care of my clients. I also had to consider my own health risk. I am six feet away from my clients in person. There is a sanitizer bottle near me and one near my clients. However, I do prefer to see clients virtually. I had to find a platform to keep my clients as safe as possible and so there are more expenses incurred for that service. After COVID I will continue to see clients virtually, because it offers a platform to those who can’t visit me because of distance, travel etc….I have noticed that some clients no matter how sick they are still wanted to see me but after COVID, they can from the comfort of their homes. The session I had with CAMH also stated they would send us the slides which I will be grateful for since they have forms I would like to have my clients compile if they wish since they can compare their virtual experience to in- person. I want to know the pros and cons my clients feel about virtual vs in person. I already have knowledge of that from clients who share it immediately without asking. There are also the guidelines for group work. I already know how to do group therapy but have never done it virtually though I offered it during the pandemic to one senior’s group. There wasn’t access or know how of virtual use. There went my offering. It is the thought that counts. No? So, I understand the concerns for those dealing with seniors. If there is a big company out there or even people who no longer have use for their devices, please donate them to CAMH or other organization who can provide it to people who don’t have access to technology. That can mean so much for someone suffering in isolation. There was also a request for that from hospitals during the COVID madness when it started. Please reach out to an elderly person by phone to just say hi. I have seen so much sadness because of the pandemic, but I have also seen so much caring from our people in Toronto as well. So many have stepped up to help others. And that helping of others is also therapeutic. It has emotional health benefits. I have two more educational events this week. There is another one hour talk from York University regarding Acute Discrimination and the Asian - white mental health gap during COVID -19. I want to share that with you probably on Friday if I can. Saturday I will be attending a virtual meeting with Canadian Association of Family Therapy (I also have to start recording hours for them as well) and a session early evening/late afternoon regarding brief therapy for couples in crises. It is all good. One of the mentions in the talk from CAMH is the effect this is all having on service providers. As for myself, I took an entire month off this summer. I am also taking the time and money to beautify my outside space. I started this fall and will continue in the spring. I want to spend as much time outside as possible during our short summer. The summer disappeared so fast. Take care. Don’t forget to focus on self care. Talk soon.

Exodus continues Theology notes

Intent of God is to being everything in life. Book of Job can be presented as terrifying God. Love of adults can be very challenging. Job - example of brother in law - fight and then what is for supper? Sacrifice son - challenge to surrender. Biblical stories are meant to present as with our greatest desires and greatest fears; not meant to emulate. Child needs to face fears with good coming on top. Concentrate on two things. 1. Figure of Moses - What happens to Moses, happens to people. 2. Theme of resistance - of people, pharaohs. Pharaohs people and Moses resist. Unlike Abraham and who is already married with Sarah. Yes had a father - we enter his story as an adult with his birth which says something about birth of a people. The Sinai Covenant is the start of a people. They make a commitment; has a response as what God has done for them. They multiplied, threat/ Hebrew boys thrown into the Nile. Moses even though he grows up in Egypt, he has compassion and leadership both to protect. Moses flees to the desert which suggests Moses’ leadership is based on a call from God. Ywah is a none name. I am who I am. I will be what I will be. The Divine name is revealed. Name is not a name. Moses and Israel - out of water. Moses encounters burning bush in the desert and so to people in the desert - fire/storm. Volcanic eruption and storm and both come together in image of lightening. Let’s try to explore why Pharaohs resist. Why the phase, God hardens heart. God hardens Pharaoh’s heart. Two verbs being used 1. Strong heart and 2. heavy heart. Pharaoh’s heart is hardened not by God. What dominates is that Pharaoh’s heart is hard. While for God hardening is at the end of plaques. Interpreted that God is giving them a chance to change and greater plaques are sent. All have to do with life and death. Notice magicians - First blood in water - no remorse. Frogs - want them removed. He revealed the hardness of his heart. 3rd gnats - magicians, therefore this is from God. 5. Life stock, 6. boils - has sinned but takes it back. 7. I have sinned - I know you do not yet fear the Lord. 8 - Locusts - Adults, but not little ones. 10:17 Forgive my sin. 9th darkness - everyone but not flocks and herds. 10th - First born 12:31 rise up and go. Letting them grow. With each plague, depth of human resistance to life. Solomon later interprets the plaques as the mercy of God. Why ten plaques? Each step reveals 1. God’s powers, 2, hardness of heart. A plaque is meant to illicit conversion. It shows the hardness of heart. He revealed the hardness of heart. Temptation - better to be a slave than liberated (Exod 16:3). This address is the covenant of Abraham - rest in the promise. Sinai covenant - struggle every day. God is the one who accompanies over the river Jordon < Weight of emphasis on Israel by giving their amen. King gives grant to loyal servant. God - Abraham. God wants human to co-operate Sinai Covenant, not simple obedience. Resistant is what is what is happening in crossing of Red Sea - God is the one who did this. They had to stand still. There is still a task. Massa means testing. The events in the desert depicts their resistance. Think of how a parent shows more responsibility for making a decision. After flood - animals consumed without blood, to show respect of the animal. Genesis - prior - both animals and people ate vegetables. Blood represents blood of God. Genesis - Trinity - Let us. Write them scripture. Psalm 22. New Testament writers reaching back for contemporary society and who gave voice to what Jesus Christ experienced. Next for theology is Conquest Joshua 1-6, 24, Judges.

A Nurse and an Orderly fired in a Quebec hospital after an incident of hurling insults to a dying woman - an Aboriginal woman (cause for reflection)

I just posted a poem I read this morning from a newsletter of one of my Associations. I don’t think they will mind. The author is unknown. It is the blog just before this one. I watched the news where a woman lay dying but managed to get her phone to post a nurse telling her that she was stupid I believe it was and that she had made bad choices in her life. Before I became a therapist I thought I had heard and seen everything. I have not. I am consistently learning, discovering and concerned. As you know I have worked as an intern in a hospital as a Chaplain. I worked with HIV, Cancer and Palliative Care. Not because I am a saint, but because no one else wanted to and we were told we were needed by the ward. That is the sole reason. Someone should do it, but no one wanted to. There was no obligation to do anything we did not want (perhaps there should be. How else does one grow?). I saw a life time of suffering as people talked to me about their lives, their regrets, their pain, their ………..At times I would go home and just look out and immerse myself in nature. I would look at my beautiful flowers and greenery and just stare off. I was suffering. I was also working seven days a week for too long, cramming two units in, the other pastoral counselling - Colpa mia. During this pandemic I have moved my private practice on line from seeing clients in my office. It is rare that I do and only under certain circumstances. Whenever I have been with the dying, I have considered it a privilege. There have been times when there was no one for the person dying. God help me, if I had ever witnessed anyone demeaning a dying person. I was fortunate to see the most amazing doctors and nurses and other hospital staff care for those who could not care for themselves. Often a doctor or nurse would ask me to see someone who was suffering. I did - always. I have attended more lecture series on line which allows me to attend more than if I had to pick and choose if it was in person. I am a very social person so I will always give priority to live sessions in person. Suddenly because of the political environment there is a concern for the aboriginal, the poor and black lives. I say suddenly because I haven’t heard too much of anything before. What I do say to my clients is to take advantage of this opportunity when something is not right, when there is discrimination. In one of my last series from York University there was a talk about how the poor, aboriginal and blacks are more prone to get COVID 19. Did I learn anything? Of course not because it is the same thing over and over again. Nothing is done. I remember in undergrad studying how we polluted lakes where our native community live and depend on. Ok, so I learned that nothing has been done to rectify that. Why should be the question? At a two day lecture course I attended several years ago there were counsellors from a native community. None of them were qualified. So, perhaps last year I mentioned that to a politician and asked why? The answer was that it is hard to get qualified people to go to these isolated areas. Do I believe that? There are incentives and there are also possibilities for students working under supervision who would be more qualified. Why has this not been done? I admire this Aboriginal woman, a mother of seven who had the insight to tape what was happening. However, I also suffer that this woman was not respected by those whose job it is to do so. Being with someone who is dying is a privilege. There are certain careers where something more is required than doing your job, it is a vocation. One that should never be taken lightly. More education is to take place about caring in these institutions. There is blame and it is systemic. Now is the right time for change. Let’s abolish prejudice. Let’s recognize hate for what it is. Let’s not use bandage solutions but get down and dirty and clean up what needs to be done. Speak up when you see something is wrong. What do you think?

The Crabby Old woman (copied and pasted by one of the newsletters from one of my associations (not therapy)

THE CRABBY OLD WOMAN When an old woman died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Saskatchewan, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem. This little old woman, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this beautiful anonymous poem. What do you see nurses? What do you see? What are you thinking when you're looking at me? A crabby old lady with faraway eyes? Who dribbles her food and makes no reply. Who seems not to notice the things that you do. And forever is losing a sock or shoe? Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding a long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse, you're not looking at ... me I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will. A young girl of Sixteen with wings on her feet. And soon now a lover she'll meet. A bride soon at Twenty, my heart gives a leap. Remembering, the vows that I promised to keep At Twenty-Five, now I have young of my own. Who needs me to guide a secure happy home. At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, But my man is beside me to see I don't mourn. At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee, Again, we know children my husband and me Dark days are upon me; my husband's now dead. I look at the future and shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing young of their own. And I think of the years and the love that I've known. \ I'm now an old woman and nature is cruel. But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, And now and again my battered heart swells. I remember the joys I remember the pain. And I'm loving and living life over again. I think of the years, all too few gone too fast. And accept the stark fact that nothing can last. So open your eyes, people, open and see. Not a crabby old woman. Look closer... see ME!!

Sexual Abuse

I mentioned I wanted to share what I read in an article from Psychology Today Aug 20. It reveals that one in nine girls under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse at the hands of an adult. 18% of boys are sexually abused by a trusted adult. Almost all of the survivors feel shame (p 29). Shame is something I often hear . We are sexual beings and when a predator sexually abuses he often will have the child think that it is wanted. Since in cases, pleasure is felt than the child feels the shame. Shifting the shame away from the client and onto the predator is what I do. They are children and not responsible. Others also threaten the lives of their parents if they tell. If you are reading this blog and have been sexually abused do feel free to tell. Many do not report it and many more never share this until it comes out in therapy. This is just a fraction of what happens. Pg 29 continues that that there is an assumption that men aren’t or shouldn’t be victims. This often leads boys and men to minimize or conceal what happened. Their sense of masculinity, failing to prevent the assault can undermines their self esteem. U.S. Psychiatrists recognized that early sexual abuse left lasting scars mirroring those of veteran patients. I now often ask my clients if they have been sexually abused depending who the client is. I sometimes wait for the right time to ask or patiently wait for the client to inform me when she or he is ready. The article continues that most who have been abused later have problems with intimacy, trust and sexual relationships. I concur. What the writer of the article states is that he began a group of 8 men who had been traumatized as children where they would share experiences and learn about its adult consequences. At the first meeting there was a rule of no sarcasm. He explained that sarcasm is often utilized to shut down uncomfortable conversation. Learning to live with the discomfort was one of the primary reasons they were meeting. That was in 1994. In 2020 the group of men still meet every 2nd Monday evening, except for two. One of the two moved but still tries to attend by internet. This article was written by Dr Bert Pepper, M.D. a clinical psychiatrist. If there are any errors, I claim it as mine. There are therapists who will not work with those who have abused. I am going to ask that when you read this you don’t make negative comments against the abuser. Many have been abused themselves. The first time I met a child molester I was prepared for the hostility I would feel, but as the person trembled before me (not when I was a therapist) I actually felt sorry for him. I wrote a paper which I posted on my blog “pedophile priest”. It was a research proposal as part of my studies. It is not meant to bash priests but it does provide information regarding the pedophile and how common sexual abuse is. Not everyone was pleased that I chose the topic for a proposal and I was dealt with some blocks when researching. When I shared this with my Jesuit friend, he said “of course.” As you know I have been told I am risque at times. However, we need to make changes in this world and silence does not make change. If you have been abused and are reading this article and have remained silent, remember that you don’t have to be. You can report this. If you have reported this and the adult ignored it, go to a therapist or the Police and report it. You don’t need to be silent. It is your choice. Remember that this was not your fault. I attended a three day sexual assault course in Sudbury years ago in a previous career. The first speaker informed us of how as a child she was raped by her father and brothers. When she reported it to the police when she was older, her mother called her a liar and told her she had brought shame to the family. She was told they wanted nothing more to do with her. She was introduced as the first speaker to prepare us for what we were going to hear. We were provided with the tools to co-ordinate a three day seminar ourselves. This was organized by an OPP female Officer. Wonderful course. On a lighter note: I have been attending many series, meeting etc….which I may be sharing with you before going back to my notes. Much has to do with the Corona Virus. I may as well share all this before it becomes redundant. I haven’t had much time to write for fun but am now focusing on becoming more updated on how to sell my books. Right now I am on www.silvaredigonda.com but will be adding more sites. I write for fun only. With the pandemic my work has increased so I must be mindful of how much I do. Days pass quickly. I will probably sooner, rather than later place a calendar for new clients only at my site, www.redigondapsychotherapy.com However that will be very limited. So thank you for reading my blogs. Keep healthy. Maintain distances and please take this pandemic seriously. Listen to what the Doctors who are specialists in the field before listening to the politicians because not all of them are listening to the experts. Take some quiet time for yourself and think of what is positive in your life. What do you think?

A Grateful Day with Brother David Steindl-Rast - Gratefulness.org

Climate Change for Clinicians, Family Therapy Magazine May/Jun 20 pgs 43 -44 by Gioia Jacobson, MA, LMFT - (Spend time in nature from me)

I wanted to share with you a bit of what I read as per the caption. Jacobson states that today about 55% of our population live in urban (city) areas. Anxiety and disorders and depression are positively correlated with living in the city. Contact with nature and green spaces is linked with improved mental and physical health…..Climate solutions are available now, and support psychological health, such as increasing adoption of active commuting, green spaces and clean energy. Positive mental health effects can be viewing nature, sitting in nature and conservation - based activities. Exposure to nature is correlated to reduced psychological and physiological stress. Thank you Ms Jacobson. Now for my input…….One of the things I always or nearly always recommend for my clients is to spend time in nature. Being a city person myself, spending time in nature is paramount and has been since I was a teen. Growing up my parents incorporated it into our lives and I learned that my love of animals domesticated or not was part of that love for nature. Give me a cabin by the water and I would be a queen. However, being a city person I would need it to have everything like electricity, wifi and a great toilet/bath/shower. Why not have a combination of both? I normally suggest as part of self care, walking and better still walking in nature. Some find peace in walking in cemeteries and that is ok. In some cases where people are confined and there is no possibility of park land, I suggest getting a plant or two and taking care of them while enjoying its beauty. My priority at my home is the outside. If I am confined, I can enjoy the trees and flowers and greenery around me. This article stood out to me because I take too much for granted when it comes to knowledge. Somethings which may be obvious to me isn’t to everyone. So, why not spend sometime in nature today? Close your eyes in nature? Name three things you hear. Name three things you actually feel. Now pretend you are opening your eyes and what do you see? When you are ready open your eyes and savour your senses. What do you think? Next week I want to include some of what I read in Psychology today regarding treatment for sexual abuse, for men. After that I will like to return to my notes of social studies. I believe we are still working on, and alternate weeks regarding theology. Have a good week and keep safe. Maintain social distancing, wash your hands frequently, wear a mask to protect others and live life.

911 - A reflection each year and thoughts to all the Families

911 attacked all of us. It was also a reminder that we should never get too complacent. During this time period I have the History Channel and so I was fortunate to get some up to date documentaries regarding that terrible day. I watched a bit each evening. The one I focused on first is the plane that went down which had been trying to get to Washington. Those brave souls sacrificed their own lives and ensured that if the plane went down, it would be in a rural area, minimizing risk to those below. Then I watched the documentary about the Pentagon being hit. That was enough. I have many more I have taped and will watch in segments because it is too sad to watch all at once. To all the survivors, you not only have Americans who are grateful. We were all attacked. I am most grateful too. To all the survivors and families who have to still deal with this tragedy, God speed.

Local Farmers Market - Weston Village (Hey Yorkdale Mall - want to take this on? Great for community service!!!! )

Once I discovered the Farmers market at Weston and Lawrence, I was hooked. I used to see a sign advertising it but never did find it until I was driving North on Weston and behold there they were, at a Go Station (I believe it is). After going for several years, this year I couldn’t find it. It was gone and then after asking a policeman and Go police I believe he was at the site, and neither knowing, I believed my favourite market was gone. But I had read it was there in a community paper. Why was it hidden? Then alas, I asked a woman walking along Weston and she knew where it had been moved to. It was moved to John Street. Now, take note it is not John Street where the Mirvish theatre is and my GPS always tries to take me to. It is one block North of Lawrence, on the East side of Weston. On my first day I found parking in the smallest parking lot ever. I paid my $2.00 city parking knowing I wouldn’t need more time. My first day wasn’t the best. The sanitizer squirted onto my clothing and the workers were laughing at me as I tried to clean myself off which of course I complained to someone who was not really helpful. I had asked for a manager and she said she was. I did not think she was. She then said she was a volunteer and no one else was available. I saw the same workers again and they are much more respectful and polite in general. All is forgiven. Parking became a problem and I wondered if I should return? Due to the pandemic I have reduced all of my shopping except on line. However with groceries I go about every two weeks and that includes the Farmers Market. I buy more and go less. Saturday I was pleased to get the only parking space left. I noticed that the market was not the busy place it used to be and it was evident to me that the location is the pits. I bought something at most of the stalls. As always I saw the most beautiful vegetables and fruits. I was in love. I used to be the person who ate vegetables because it is good for me. However, everything tastes so much better from the market. It is fresh and I mean fresh which seems to be more difficult to get these days. I asked a farmer how long they would be there. I noticed the disappointment in his face. He began that he didn’t know. Another more senior farmer came and we talked for quite a bit. He comes from a Farm still considered part of the Greater Toronto Area. I learned that they do not like the location either. They don’t get answers to their questions by the business committee, I suppose they are but don’t quote me. They have gone through three managers already this summer. Of course I suggested going to the politicians. If I have a problem I cannot resolve, that a politician can, that is my go to. Their success depends on my voting for them in the next election. Hey every vote should count. Of course if you are outside Toronto, their vote does not count. He told me that the politicians didn’t care. I then suggested the news. “Go to the news.” He told me how old he was. I don’t think of age as a factor, but I did understand. He is considering retirement sooner than later. Why does he want to open up a can of worms for what seems to be an ungrateful community (My words; not his.) But is this community not grateful or is it just bad planning and disorganization? Everyone depends on volunteers these days. Volunteer for this and volunteer for that. I try to avoid that. As you know I am a one person operation and though I have offered my services at times, I have only volunteered when I felt guilty or when my old supervisor asked me to. I can’t say no to him; he knows it and so there you go. If he asks I do it because he has always supported me so much and educated me well in providing therapy. So, who are the volunteers? I would presume if someone is working with the farming community that they will do their best to keep them happy. Farmers coming into Toronto to provide us with fresh food is amazing. It is also part of their livelihood. I make sure it is the actual farmer I am going to. That is something to look out for. I have a lot of time and respect for people who feed me. Why are we not keeping them happy at Weston? Perhaps it is time for a change from their neighbourhood to mine or closer to it. We can surely keep them coming and keep them happy. I noticed a few years back which I may have written about, I was on a day trip and stopped at a farmers market in Hamilton (or Burlington. They are adjacent to each other) in a mall’s parking lot. I found wonderful homemade cheese made from an elder Italian man and there were many other goodies. Of course I also stopped at their mall and found it to be quite nice. Perhaps these farmers can find something like that here. Hey Yorkdale Mall, right at Dufferin Street and the 401, would be an excellent location. They have a massive parking lot, they don’t sell fruit and vegetables because they don’t have a grocery store anymore and it would motivate more patrons. Heck, I would probably venture into the mall more (haven’t been since COVID). Yorkdale is my favourite mall. I let the farmer know that there are many people in Toronto who appreciate them and support them. So, lets support these wonderful people by giving them a new location and see them smile again as they make me smile each time I take a bite of their precious fruit and vegetables. Thank you. (Oh by the way, when leaving, a woman had parked her car blocking me from getting out. It was an inconvenience for her that I asked her to move the car. So, please let’s find a new spot for these precious people and if Weston Village can’t keep them happy, perhaps other communities in Toronto can. What do you think? Yorkdale, are you listening?

Suicide - Canada

With this new blog system it is more difficult to share without providing a new password for my other media which I will not do. Hopefully this will change. It is unfortunate. So, what I already posted else, I will share with you today. This info is from CAMFT (Canadian Association of Familty Therapy) and CAMH. 4000 Canadians die from suicide each year. Men die four times greater even though women attempt suicide three or four times more often. More than half of suicides involve those aged 45 years or older. From my own studies I will add to this. More elderly men commit suicide than any other. It was discussed in my undergrad that men choose suicide that is more violent such as hanging or shooting one self while women choose less violence such as overdose of pills. This may be a reason that men are more likely to be successful in attempting suicide. Also, I learned that with people who were unsuccessful, many were grateful that they were not successful. As a therapist I was trained to have a contract with those who spoke of suicide, however, it took one client to tell me how absurd that was, that if he really wanted to kill himself, a contract was useless. It is important to distingush when one is serious about suicide and when one is just frustrated. Careers can be ended. There are people who for years have suicide thoughts which haunts them, yet they don't know why and have no intention to do so. If you see yourself here find a qualified therapist and share those feelings. Start opening up to your parents or partner etc.....I am always amazed of how many people keep so much within themselves. Start a journal, start a conversation, find time in nature. Look for your interests and if you are feeling too depressed please wait no longer. What do you think?

Job posting

Dear Silva Redigonda, We want you to know of our latest fundraising effort - a job career posting site - we hope will help generate funds to support the Royal Canadian Air Cadets. Proceeds raised from the posting of resumés and from the posting of jobs by aerospace (or other) industries on our job career site will be used to fund the RCAF Association Continuation Flying Training Program of bursaries and scholarships. Since 1994, the RCAF Association has donated to a special account which presently sits at $284,000. Interest generated from the account each year helps fund up to three $2,500 scholarships to eligible worthy air cadets enrolled in applicable post-secondary education and training programs or continuation flying training that is of benefit to air cadet squadrons across the country. We realize not all of our members are still in the employment market, but each of us has an opportunity to recruit others who may be looking for work, especially in our national aerospace industry. Thank you for exploring our new job career posting site, and please do pass the word along. Let's raise more funds for our hard-working Air Cadets today! @jobs.rcafassociation.ca

#Black Lives Matter

When the demonstrations of Black Lives Matter started in the States, I was concerned of all the violence and yelling and anger. I was also concerned for the safety of the police officers. A professor of my post grad days who is now my friend asked me what I thought. I surprised myself as I ranted about not everyone being in the same boat etc…….I then paused after my vent and I became aware that he is not white. After a long pause his response, “I agree.” I breathed easily. I did not want to say anything that would hurt this amazing man. Shortly after I was sitting on the front steps of my home and watched people walk by. I became deliberately aware of the colour of skin and race of each person walking by when normally I do not. I received and returned the smiles of people from different cultures. I became more aware then ever of the power of the media to skew news. Since I tape everything and watch it later, I would fast forward demonstrations and hate towards the police, labeling them all in one package. Once I fast forwarded 45 minutes of news. I wondered why we don’t have more stations that are more balanced. Last week it hit close to home when seven police officers were injured making an arrest. One police officer I believe is a woman was punched in the face. It brought me back to the Sinai desert when one Fijian punched me in the head while on duty. I was trying to help him up after ordering a large group of Columbians to get off him. As I tried to help him up, he attacked me and my partner’s billy stick failed to have any effect. The Columbians once again jumped over him to restrain him. They saved my life. He received as punishment for attacking me hard labour in the desert. After three days he passed out from exhaustion and the heat. I was asked if I thought the punishment was appropriate from the other Fijians and I replied that I thought it was too severe. To this day my left wrist bothers me at times from trying to block him. I also got bit by a white male in Europe. Those are the two attacks I remember best. I as a Canadian military police veteran have worked with different Military Police, Civilian Police and other people from a wide range of countries, cultures and religions. In Canada coming from Toronto I again worked with a range of people from different cultures, and religions. As a therapist I have probably worked with clients from every culture, religion and skin colour. Each person who has ever needed help in my work has received it. I have always been in the service of others since being a life guard which had its own challenges. I have been told by an aboriginal elder that if I went into certain communities my life would be in danger. I was told in Savanah that I could be in danger if I didn’t leave the neighbourhood I was in. Of course I went for a drive through the neighbourhood seeing well kept lawns and modest homes. I could comfortably live there though I knew I wasn’t welcomed, or at least by some. I have been told to get out of a restaurant in my own old neighbourhood because I was white. I would not be served in a Kenya restaurant because I was white. I have had students who were dark skinned tell me that they were worried to go to live in the States because they were concerned about the hatred against them. I have had another tell me he only feels comfortable when he comes back to Canada because of the colour of his skin. There are now people getting kicked out of boards because of comments they make that is construed as prejudice. There is no education for them. They are replaced. I wonder if this increases hatred with senseless damage to property and worse, harm to men and women. It is appropriate now to say black, white, brown etc…but not too long ago it was offensive. I had one man ask me to look at his skin, “does this look black to you?” I had another scoff at the idea of anyone actually being white. There is suddenly a concern of appropriate behaviour and I wonder if things will get worse, while hate continues to grow and fester under the guise of appropriateness. This morning breaking news was that six people were shot in a drive-by shooting at a bakery at Eglinton Avenue West near Oakwood Avenue. The same spot where the officers were injured in the arrest. Another man did die from another shooting in North York. I have had people come to me in previous years informing me that a black gang had raped a young woman and convinced her that she should not report it to the police because they are worse than them. This was in a previous career and I am worried that this may be continuing and encouraged by the anti-police movement that seems to be promoted. There are so many police persons doing so much for their communities which they do on their own. This too should be reported in the news. The days of needing to find extremes for news reporting needs to be revamped. There must be an ethical and balance reporting and personal biases be recognized and acknowledged. We have a legal system with juries and judge or judge alone where crime is dealt with. We cannot have large masses of people decide who is guilty or not. We need to move from the past. We can not judge on emotions. As a therapist there has been times when I thought that a person was being targeted because of the colour of his or her skin. This was dismissed by the offended party. However, I still provided the options of complaints and a pathway towards that. As a therapist, I am a one person operation and my office is open to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation, the colour of their skin, their faith or lack of. I am not in the business of judging. It is up to the person who comes to me to let me know what they want me to help them with. I wish my Professor in my undergrad who was an Anthropologist was still alive, but then if she was, I wouldn’t be a therapist I would be an Anthropologist. That is how much she impressed me with her brilliance and kindness. Prof Yawney was an expert in the courts regarding racism. I know that myself and our fellow white classmates did not think a list of racism comments she provided us actually were. She told us patiently, like you tell a child how racism cannot be against a white person, because white has the power. I have given Black lives matter a lot of serious thought. I suppose that the demonstrations when peaceful has worked its magic. I listen when a black person speaks of their repression because as a white person I do not always see it and definitely do not experience it. I am privileged and have come to realize that. It really bothered me that there was no follow-up with the police officers from 13 division. And then I watched a movie on TUBI named Badge of Faith, a 2015 movie which “…is dedicated to the men and women in blue who risk their lives daily so we can live ours peacefully. Badge of Faith is based on a true story of a Virginia police officer who was paralyzed while on duty and fought his way back through sheer faith.” The movie touched me because it became relevant to what I am feeling. Does it really matter what the colour of skin is? It is simply pigmentation. I dislike the demonstrations when I see destruction and people getting hurt or killed. I support the police after all I too am a veteran. However, I also support the person of darker skin than mine. I think that it is important to get our act together but through unity and not division. I never could understand why the KKK still exists or that white supremacy has not been dismantled once and for all. I have been blind at times and I must not forget at one of the last conferences where we could still be together, my being the only white person in a group of social workers and they patiently trying to explain to me that racism is very evident. What tugged at my heart was a young child going home and telling her parents that she wanted to be white after she had started school. We do have a lot of work to do but not only racism. Sexism is prevalent as well as hatred against religion. Just a few days ago an unidentified man (suspected) removed the head of the Virgin Mary in front of a Catholic Church. Oh by the way the movie I am recommending has a spiritual aspect to it and if you hate the idea of God, watch it anyway to practice being mindful of your own biases. Anyhow, I have spoken my peace. I have been wanting to talk about his for awhile, after all I am risque or so I have been told. We need to speak our minds contemplatively but not to do harm but unite as one people once and for all with love and validation. This is my city. This is where I grew up. This is where I went to school and have been offered so many opportunities which were mine for the taking if I chose. However, I am concerned about the escalating crime. Are there solutions? Yes, and it starts right at home. It also continues in the schools. When I went to grade school here, I studied “Black Like Me”, we viewed documentaries about the concentration camps and we had discussions about the atrocities. We need a zero tolerance of bullying at home and at school because all too often the two are interrelated. We need to validate our young people. One drug dealer told me how he wasn’t respected or noticed until his status became elevated by what he sold. We need to reach youth and offer them the limitless opportunities that can be theirs. We need to have the support system in our schools and for families. We need to have a social outlet for our youths with mentors. We need to have our youth find the worthiness in themselves. On the other hand we have wonderful young people who have so much heart from all kinds of backgrounds and cultures. They give so much of themselves when they are still tiny, much more than when I was young. There is hope for us. Canada is a country with open arms and we must continue on this path. This land belongs to all of us and we need to continue to work at unity and not division. What do you think? By the way, I had a great holiday.

See you in September...............Taking a break from all electronics for two weeks. Can I do it? What do you think?

It has been a busy summer and I have found that I have been more busy because of the pandemic. I had to learn as much as possible regarding this as well as adopting e-health. There were those who insisted in seeing me and I considered each case carefully and so began more research in preparing a safe office. Most of my books are waiting to be delivered to an old professor of mine who is now in a retirement home. He is looking forward to the amount of books so he can pick and choose and then share and finally bring my books to their resting place in their library. As I dispose of more items, I am beginning to feel like a minimalist. My office looks bare but it is safe. Most of the time I place an item outside on my sidewalk and someone picks it up and brings it home. I enjoy the idea that someone else can love an item I have decided to dispose of. This way the recycling continues. I haven’t had a garage sale in years. I seem to always be behind in my paperwork these days but that is ok. I realized that I was so busy that suddenly August arrived and I had not taken a holiday. I normally like going on a short trip to the States but that is not possible now. I also like to take short bus trips here. However, that is not really possible at the moment. COVID has made me very cautious. I love life and don’t want to tamper with it. I have noticed that though our numbers are decreasing, not all are going by the rules. At a hair salon, one chair away from me and well below the six feet distance a woman took off her mask at the endorsement of the stylist and I was a bad person for telling the person to put the mask back on. My own stylist returned and I informed him that I would not be coming back until the pandemic is over. He assured me it wouldn’t happen again. I believe in giving people chances. This is a time where people have to work together for the greater good. That can be difficult in a “me, me, me world.” It takes only one contact. So, as one of my old supervisors commented it must be difficult for me because I am a very social person. Yup. I am. However, because most of my work now is on a computer I am still part of a weekly group with my colleagues that wouldn’t have happened happened otherwise. If I miss a session, I am missed. That is nice to hear. I have been attending more virtual lectures than ever because normally I prefer to attend. So, I have been able to pack more into my life regarding work. I have also attended sessions with “Sisters of Crime.” When we didn’t have the pandemic I consistently missed the weekly talks and dinners because it was on a week night when I was either working or too tired to go out. So, I got to see what I am doing wrong and right about my writing. I need an agent. I need patience etc………Obviously my own marketing isn’t working. In view of all this, I haven’t had the time to reflect on my own books I am writing. I am also pondering if I should write about therapy. I can incorporate it in my mystery books or horror for that matter. How do I do it all. I cannot. I have two loves. My writing has always been my passion. Is it a hobby or should I get serious? How do I maintain a balance? Should I retire and just focus on my writing books? How will that look like? I am always re-evaluating every so often when it stops being fun. So, I am taking holidays from the 17 Aug 20 to the end of the month inclusive. I am back to work 1 Sept 20. My gift to myself is to hide away all my electronics. No answering my business phone but I have left a message that I shall be doing that. Also, I will not be using my computer. That means for the next two weeks you will not receive a blog from me. However, I have been here for a bit, so there is plenty to read. This will probably be challenging. After all especially during this pandemic we do so much on line. So what will that look like? I’ll let you know when I come back. I will be doing other things which I have been giving little attention to and I shall find some fun. My camera will be coming out of hiding. So, thank you for reading my blog. Now I have my final weekly self/client care with one of my associations. I have one final seminar and I am completing my work with my clients this week. Next week is me time……….What do you think? See you in September……………