In the Christmas Spirit - A reflection of the past year and wishing you the best of the holiday season

I have been singing everyday since I have been on vacation. I have one pet “Holy Terror” the star of my two books (one is still incomplete) who hates it when I sing. She even howls for me to stop. My other pet, “Mr Attitude” loves it. He comes running, wants me to hold him and dance as I sing away. My mom used to ask me to sing with her every Christmas whether I was in the mood or not. She would have me sit with her by the fake fire place and sing along to her favourite song, “Silent Night”. Tonight on the tube they are focusing on that song and so I shall watch it for her. Christmas day I have memories of exploring the unknown with my mom. She had the same sense of adventure and throughout the year we would drive and explore the country. Day trips were lots of fun. We spent time with the entire family and I also got away to spend time with friends. Last year several close friends, including a neighbour died. This year I recently lost another close friend of mine due to the complications of COVID 19. However, with all the loss in recent years I have so much joy in my soul. I believe in God and I believe that we move on to heaven or purgatory and I won’t even mention the other hot spot. I think of it as a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. There are so many mysteries we do not understand. This has been a busy year for me. I have dealt with much suffering from the people I care for in my practice. Because of that I have focused much on my self care. I don’t normally take this much time off at Christmas but COVID has increased the suffering of so many. It has compounded suffering. What has been consistent is the echo of shame and guilt but what has also been consistent is the voice of hope. There are many who have lost their careers and with it their sense of identity. They are grieving but with that some have shown such resiliency in searching for jobs to sustain them during this pandemic. There has been more difficulty with partners and families with polarized views of the pandemic and more disturbances as families have to spend more time together. This Christmas if I may make a suggestion is to focus on what you have. This may be a time to explore what you actually enjoy in life. Try a hobby, try music, try writing, try finding something that moves you. I know that I can live in a castle and I can have the same enjoyment living in a cabin. I love nature and spend a bit of my day looking outside at my trees, birds and squirrels. I spend a bit of each day in prayer, reflection and reading. I love life. I am adjusting to social distancing and have actually in this second wave closed down shop and have done all therapy on-line. I am aware that people do not all social distance or wear masks and may not be honest in revealing this. Safety always needs to be the first consideration. Who knew that my entire practice would be virtual or via telephone. This has also been a time to reflect regarding my future. I would like to spend one year travelling. I can take a Sabbatical and continue working part time while travelling. After all what I need is a computer and a secure site. I just need to check with my college. Of course with my pets it is not possible, however soon they will be both 18 years old. I don’t want any changes for them that will cause stress. They have brought me many years of joy and I intend to care for them properly. I like seeing them happy. They make me laugh each day. I am aware that I have many choices. Which road should I take? The one I wish to take at the moment. In my practice I try to help people achieve their own goals whatever they may want. Sometimes, they don’t know what that looks like. Sometimes they do not know who they are because people have always told them who they are and forced them to be what they wanted for themselves. Why not this Christmas make a decision for what it is you really want for yourself? Whatever, your religious belief is try to think of it has a positive. I hear so much of a punishing God. Think of God has a loving God. What would that look like? Try some soul searching. It is difficult to make choices when feeling overwhelmed and that is the time to step back and refocus. It has also been a year where I have been alerted of some support groups which may be representing themselves. Do your homework and if something doesn’t feel right move on. Dial 211 to find help in determining what you are looking for in mental health. People need to be ready to get help for themselves. Families suffer when there is addiction or mental illness within family members. We need to find happiness and joy in our own lives. This Christmas I wish you and your families a wonderful holiday and positive experience. Look into your soul within your search and not what you own. The best of you is within yourself. Merry Christmas. Silva (http//: silvaredigonda.ca redigondapsychotherapy.com