#Black Lives Matter

When the demonstrations of Black Lives Matter started in the States, I was concerned of all the violence and yelling and anger. I was also concerned for the safety of the police officers. A professor of my post grad days who is now my friend asked me what I thought. I surprised myself as I ranted about not everyone being in the same boat etc…….I then paused after my vent and I became aware that he is not white. After a long pause his response, “I agree.” I breathed easily. I did not want to say anything that would hurt this amazing man. Shortly after I was sitting on the front steps of my home and watched people walk by. I became deliberately aware of the colour of skin and race of each person walking by when normally I do not. I received and returned the smiles of people from different cultures. I became more aware then ever of the power of the media to skew news. Since I tape everything and watch it later, I would fast forward demonstrations and hate towards the police, labeling them all in one package. Once I fast forwarded 45 minutes of news. I wondered why we don’t have more stations that are more balanced. Last week it hit close to home when seven police officers were injured making an arrest. One police officer I believe is a woman was punched in the face. It brought me back to the Sinai desert when one Fijian punched me in the head while on duty. I was trying to help him up after ordering a large group of Columbians to get off him. As I tried to help him up, he attacked me and my partner’s billy stick failed to have any effect. The Columbians once again jumped over him to restrain him. They saved my life. He received as punishment for attacking me hard labour in the desert. After three days he passed out from exhaustion and the heat. I was asked if I thought the punishment was appropriate from the other Fijians and I replied that I thought it was too severe. To this day my left wrist bothers me at times from trying to block him. I also got bit by a white male in Europe. Those are the two attacks I remember best. I as a Canadian military police veteran have worked with different Military Police, Civilian Police and other people from a wide range of countries, cultures and religions. In Canada coming from Toronto I again worked with a range of people from different cultures, and religions. As a therapist I have probably worked with clients from every culture, religion and skin colour. Each person who has ever needed help in my work has received it. I have always been in the service of others since being a life guard which had its own challenges. I have been told by an aboriginal elder that if I went into certain communities my life would be in danger. I was told in Savanah that I could be in danger if I didn’t leave the neighbourhood I was in. Of course I went for a drive through the neighbourhood seeing well kept lawns and modest homes. I could comfortably live there though I knew I wasn’t welcomed, or at least by some. I have been told to get out of a restaurant in my own old neighbourhood because I was white. I would not be served in a Kenya restaurant because I was white. I have had students who were dark skinned tell me that they were worried to go to live in the States because they were concerned about the hatred against them. I have had another tell me he only feels comfortable when he comes back to Canada because of the colour of his skin. There are now people getting kicked out of boards because of comments they make that is construed as prejudice. There is no education for them. They are replaced. I wonder if this increases hatred with senseless damage to property and worse, harm to men and women. It is appropriate now to say black, white, brown etc…but not too long ago it was offensive. I had one man ask me to look at his skin, “does this look black to you?” I had another scoff at the idea of anyone actually being white. There is suddenly a concern of appropriate behaviour and I wonder if things will get worse, while hate continues to grow and fester under the guise of appropriateness. This morning breaking news was that six people were shot in a drive-by shooting at a bakery at Eglinton Avenue West near Oakwood Avenue. The same spot where the officers were injured in the arrest. Another man did die from another shooting in North York. I have had people come to me in previous years informing me that a black gang had raped a young woman and convinced her that she should not report it to the police because they are worse than them. This was in a previous career and I am worried that this may be continuing and encouraged by the anti-police movement that seems to be promoted. There are so many police persons doing so much for their communities which they do on their own. This too should be reported in the news. The days of needing to find extremes for news reporting needs to be revamped. There must be an ethical and balance reporting and personal biases be recognized and acknowledged. We have a legal system with juries and judge or judge alone where crime is dealt with. We cannot have large masses of people decide who is guilty or not. We need to move from the past. We can not judge on emotions. As a therapist there has been times when I thought that a person was being targeted because of the colour of his or her skin. This was dismissed by the offended party. However, I still provided the options of complaints and a pathway towards that. As a therapist, I am a one person operation and my office is open to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation, the colour of their skin, their faith or lack of. I am not in the business of judging. It is up to the person who comes to me to let me know what they want me to help them with. I wish my Professor in my undergrad who was an Anthropologist was still alive, but then if she was, I wouldn’t be a therapist I would be an Anthropologist. That is how much she impressed me with her brilliance and kindness. Prof Yawney was an expert in the courts regarding racism. I know that myself and our fellow white classmates did not think a list of racism comments she provided us actually were. She told us patiently, like you tell a child how racism cannot be against a white person, because white has the power. I have given Black lives matter a lot of serious thought. I suppose that the demonstrations when peaceful has worked its magic. I listen when a black person speaks of their repression because as a white person I do not always see it and definitely do not experience it. I am privileged and have come to realize that. It really bothered me that there was no follow-up with the police officers from 13 division. And then I watched a movie on TUBI named Badge of Faith, a 2015 movie which “…is dedicated to the men and women in blue who risk their lives daily so we can live ours peacefully. Badge of Faith is based on a true story of a Virginia police officer who was paralyzed while on duty and fought his way back through sheer faith.” The movie touched me because it became relevant to what I am feeling. Does it really matter what the colour of skin is? It is simply pigmentation. I dislike the demonstrations when I see destruction and people getting hurt or killed. I support the police after all I too am a veteran. However, I also support the person of darker skin than mine. I think that it is important to get our act together but through unity and not division. I never could understand why the KKK still exists or that white supremacy has not been dismantled once and for all. I have been blind at times and I must not forget at one of the last conferences where we could still be together, my being the only white person in a group of social workers and they patiently trying to explain to me that racism is very evident. What tugged at my heart was a young child going home and telling her parents that she wanted to be white after she had started school. We do have a lot of work to do but not only racism. Sexism is prevalent as well as hatred against religion. Just a few days ago an unidentified man (suspected) removed the head of the Virgin Mary in front of a Catholic Church. Oh by the way the movie I am recommending has a spiritual aspect to it and if you hate the idea of God, watch it anyway to practice being mindful of your own biases. Anyhow, I have spoken my peace. I have been wanting to talk about his for awhile, after all I am risque or so I have been told. We need to speak our minds contemplatively but not to do harm but unite as one people once and for all with love and validation. This is my city. This is where I grew up. This is where I went to school and have been offered so many opportunities which were mine for the taking if I chose. However, I am concerned about the escalating crime. Are there solutions? Yes, and it starts right at home. It also continues in the schools. When I went to grade school here, I studied “Black Like Me”, we viewed documentaries about the concentration camps and we had discussions about the atrocities. We need a zero tolerance of bullying at home and at school because all too often the two are interrelated. We need to validate our young people. One drug dealer told me how he wasn’t respected or noticed until his status became elevated by what he sold. We need to reach youth and offer them the limitless opportunities that can be theirs. We need to have the support system in our schools and for families. We need to have a social outlet for our youths with mentors. We need to have our youth find the worthiness in themselves. On the other hand we have wonderful young people who have so much heart from all kinds of backgrounds and cultures. They give so much of themselves when they are still tiny, much more than when I was young. There is hope for us. Canada is a country with open arms and we must continue on this path. This land belongs to all of us and we need to continue to work at unity and not division. What do you think? By the way, I had a great holiday.